What is vanity: Freepick The English satirist William Thackeray dedicated his novel “Vanity Fair” to this personality trait. Psychologist Sergei Garkavets describes vanity as a social feeling of a person. How dangerous is the desire for fame and honor and is it worth fearing? The answers are provided by psychology, philosophy and religion.
What is vanity?
Vanity is a person’s pronounced desire to look better in the eyes of others than he really is. This is the key point: a vain person does not strive to become a better person. He needs recognition and a feeling of superiority. All that matters to him is what others think about him, and not how true it is.
The desire to look good in the eyes of others is natural for each of us. We take care of our appearance, take care of our reputation, engage in self-development and try not to commit reprehensible acts. All this fits within the framework of normal social behavior and is not subject to condemnation. But some people take this desire to an absolute level. They do everything so that others perceive them as much more perfect than they really are.
Vain people diligently hide their shortcomings and do not tolerate having them pointed out to them. They love to praise themselves, exaggerating their achievements. In addition, they often humiliate others in order to look more presentable against their background. They also value flattery very much and always try to surround themselves with people who often praise them for non-existent merits.
When vanity is useful
Any aspect or phenomenon has positive and negative features. Undoubtedly, vanity has many more negative sides than positive ones, but sometimes it helps a person.
For example, it is vanity that is the mechanism for launching a person’s undertakings, his self-improvement (growth on the career ladder, studying at a prestigious university, high-paying job). Energy and passion for accomplishment appear.
Often it is vanity that helps a person achieve widespread success and recognition. The most striking example of this is show business stars.
Do you think vanity can help in life? Or does it just get in the way? Give your examples under the article in the comments.
Examples of vanity
Phenomena such as pride, arrogance, arrogance, arrogance and star fever are forms of vanity that manifest themselves in various situations that provoke vain behavior. For example, yesterday’s student, who found it easy to study, comes to the team with full confidence that he is a rising star who will soon outshine all his colleagues. In this case, they say that the person is behaving arrogantly, implying that a situation will soon occur that will “bring down the arrogance” of the presumptuous youth.
Star fever is another form of vanity that is characteristic of successful people. A person who feels that he has truly outstanding abilities and has achieved everything himself begins to imagine himself as a star. His self-esteem is off the charts, he admires himself and expects those around him to also admire him. At the same time, he develops a real dependence on flattery and admiration. Such “stars” often engage in “showing off” and conflict with other people who are also overcome by star fever.
You can often find this form of vanity as an imitation of self-development. A person convinces himself and others that he is actively improving in a certain area. He gladly accepts praise and flattery from others, without admitting to them that he has not worked on himself for a long time. This is a vivid example of the desire to “appear and not be.” Such people most often demonstrate a condescending or even contemptuous attitude towards others, trying to look better compared to them.
Vanity is the need for vain glory
Vanity is a negative personality quality, which is expressed in a painful need to prove one’s superiority, receive praise from others, and achieve fame and honor.
According to Christian tenets, it is one of the eight deadly sins that can destroy the human soul and give rise to other base passions. How to overcome vanity? Let's try to understand this difficult issue.
The noun vanity comes from the merger of two words - futility and glory . In its literal interpretation, the meaning of the word vanity is the need for empty honors. A deeper interpretation suggests that earthly glory is perishable and transitory, therefore the desire for it is a waste of internal strength to the detriment of one’s spiritual development.
Words close in meaning (synonyms) are pride, arrogance, arrogance, arrogance, boasting, arrogance. Antonym words (what are they?) – simplicity, modesty, humility.
Signs of vanity
It is quite natural for a person to desire recognition of his merits. A diligent student or student deservedly expects to receive a high score for a well-done assignment. A good specialist wants his superiors to value his qualifications and his colleagues to respect his achievements. Any person deserves to be appreciated for his efforts, and he has the right to desire this. To understand what vanity is, it is important to draw a clear line between this phenomenon and normal human behavior.
Vanity is the desire of a person to receive praise undeservedly. Typically, a vain person is identified by such character traits as:
- Love of flattery.
He loves to be flattered, and he himself often flatters people from whom he would like to receive reciprocal praise. - A sharp reaction to criticism.
Vain people react extremely negatively to any criticism addressed to them, even if the criticism is completely constructive and well-founded. - The desire to be the center of attention.
They often behave emotionally and brightly in order to attract more attention to themselves. - Tendency to humiliate “substituted” people.
This is an old way of self-affirmation that many people use on an instinctive level. If someone just makes a slight mistake, stumbles, a vain person will not miss the opportunity to criticize him for it. - “Many words, little action.”
A vain person talks a lot and in detail about his own achievements so that others can admire him properly. At the same time, it is much more important for him to talk about his own achievements than to actually achieve something. - Doing good deeds for recognition.
People tend to do good deeds; for most of us, this brings sincere joy and satisfaction. But a vain person, when performing a good deed, thinks first of all that those around him will appreciate his efforts and finally know how good he is. - Arrogant behavior.
When communicating with him, you feel that he puts himself above the interlocutor and is of little interest in his opinion. - Inadequate assessment of one's own capabilities.
A vain person usually strives to look better in the eyes of others. At the same time, he often convinces himself that his abilities are higher than they actually are. - Demanding praise from loved ones.
He is confident that his loved ones should respect and praise him, even if he has done nothing for it. - Lack of desire to be useful.
Usually a vain person tries to convince others verbally that he is very talented and does many useful things. But in practice there is little benefit from it, this is especially noticeable in critical situations.
How does vanity affect a person? Examples from life
Vanity has a powerful influence on a person’s life. Often this feeling completely controls his actions and thoughts. Often people suffering from such a vice can force other people to recognize their merits. At the same time, they believe that what they are doing is absolutely normal. It is the opinion that this is how it should be that poses the greatest danger to a vain person. Because of him, he will never be able to independently identify his vice and will continue to cultivate it within himself.
To understand how vanity manifests itself in life, you need to give examples of real stories. I spent a long time looking through forums, talking with friends and looking for material that would allow me to evaluate the behavior of vain people from all sides. This allowed me to understand how vanity affects people - I have given examples from the lives of such people below.
1. One day, several friends argued about the exact meaning of an astronomical term. Both of them were students, and were just learning the basics of the subject they were studying. However, one of them always strived to be head and shoulders above the others and studied his subject in advance. He turned page after page, covering more and more knowledge, while the rest of his group studied strictly according to the program. Of course it worked, and this guy got the highest grades in the group.
But at that moment, when he and his friend were arguing, he could not know exactly the correct definition since he had only heard about it, but had never studied it. Eventually consumed by vanity, he stubbornly argued that he was right, refusing to accept the fact that he did not know. After all, this contradicts the fact that he is the best. The story ended with assault. Finding no more arguments, that guy decided to force him to admit that he was right.
2. One day a very funny story happened in a young family. A wife kicked her husband out of the house because he didn't notice her new hairstyle. After spending a lot of time standing near the mirror and trying to do a new hairstyle, the girl achieved only a small volume and more even hair styling. The husband, of course, did not notice this and, to his grief, entered into an argument with his wife when she asked if he had noticed anything. When her husband remarked that she had only styled a couple of hairs, the wife became so furious that she kicked her husband out of the house. Is she right? Of course not. It's hard to notice such a small change. But she believed that her husband should have said that she was great and looked gorgeous. By the way, an experienced husband would never find himself in such a situation. People who are married to vain people quickly learn to lie and flatter them, saying only what their spouse wants to hear.
3. The boy decided to earn the praise of his parents. And for this he came up with a story about how he generously extended his hand to an old grandmother who was getting off public transport. Of course, his parents could not know that he was lying and therefore praised him for his good deed. And the guy, realizing that it was so easy to get praise, decided to come up with a new story every day for the approval of his parents. Ultimately, he grew up to be an excellent liar, but a terrible person. The only good thing about him was his fictional stories for every day.
4. One businessman decided that he would have the best yacht among his friends. He spent huge amounts of money ordering a beautiful ship, which was to be his calling card. At that moment, he was guided only by thoughts of how his friends would be delighted with his new acquisition. The yacht was built, and the businessman received his share of delight. But at the same time, he spent almost all his funds. At this point, difficult times came and his business fell into decline. In an attempt to impress his friends, he achieved what he wanted, but in return he paid with everything he had.
The examples show that vanity often destroys life. But how do people acquire this character trait?
Why do people become vain?
The answer to this question most often lies in a person’s childhood. The child’s parents are often to blame for the development of this defect. Without showing due interest in the lives of their children and without recognizing their merits, whatever they may be, parents themselves, without realizing it, cultivate vanity in their children. Recognition of our merits is a normal desire that every person has. And the pleasure of praise can be compared to a piece of delicious cake. Everyone wants to get the sweets they are entitled to. But those who are deprived of recognition will begin to bend over backwards to get it. Therefore, a person begins to forcefully draw the attention of other people to his successes. And having noticed that it works, he develops a strong connection: indicated success = received praise.
This is how vanity begins to develop, and if you do not pay attention to it in time, the vice will become firmly entrenched in a person’s consciousness, gradually poisoning his life.
What does vanity lead to?
To understand what is so bad about vanity, you need to understand what it leads to. In the end, a vain person comes to complete disappointment in life. Gradually losing motivation to achieve goals and having no real success, he continues to invent non-existent merits to receive praise. People will find out about this and turn away from such a person. As a result, a person deprived of the usual and only pleasure in life withdraws into himself. This can lead to depression, as well as other psychological disorders. Complete loss of interest in life and loneliness.
Why is vanity dangerous? Its poisonous influence on human life. Of course, this vice can help you achieve greater goals if channeled in the right direction. But, unfortunately, most of these people stop their development.
How to get rid of vanity?
How to deal with vanity in yourself? There are many methods and methods for this.
1. The very first step towards fighting vice is recognizing your shortcomings. Vain people tend to think that they are perfect and do not pay attention to their weaknesses. They often make you see only the good in yourself. But if they realize that there are people who can surpass them, their self-esteem will be shaken.
2. Normalizing self-esteem is the second step on the path to victory. Vain people suffer from high self-esteem and try to maintain it at this level by any means. To do this, they are ready to do almost any act. But as soon as they realize that they are not perfect, their self-esteem will begin to return to normal.
3. The decisive stage is recognizing the merits of others. Once a person suffering from vanity begins to respect the people around him, he will stop using them as a free source of praise.
Of course, an important aspect here will be self-control and monitoring your behavior. Only by identifying signs of vanity in oneself and admitting that there is a problem can a person fight his vice.
