Attitude to vanity in religion
If a person is vain, then this is condemned in any religion. This state is interpreted as arrogance, a disdainful attitude towards other people.
The sin of this quality is that a person can stop in his development. He will think that he has already achieved the ideal, and religious values urge him to constantly work on himself.
We invite you to watch a video about vanity, with examples and interpretation from the Bible and life.
The most powerful weapon
Miraculously, Christ is able to revive a withered soul, restore to it the joy of life, the ability to once again perceive the life-giving grace of the Holy Spirit. And the means of healing is available to everyone, always and under any circumstances - this is prayer. In a state of despondency, demons suggest that it is not worth starting and that it will not help. This is because holy words are the only thing that drives them away.
This remedy fights the very root of any sin, because prayerful groaning is directed towards God and demonstrates faith in Him. Even if the words have to be spoken forcefully, they break down the invisible wall erected by sin between the human heart and the Savior.
It is not necessary to immediately take on a large number of long prayers. A weakened soul may not be able to withstand this, and then the ascetic will slide into an even deeper abyss of despair. You should start with the shortest ones:
- "Lord have mercy!"
- “Virgin Mother of God” (read in dozens, starting with one, gradually increasing).
- "Thank God for everything!"
We must try to find the bright side in any event. Do not try to get rid of trials and tribulations, but endure them patiently, even with gratitude. After all, the Lord is already preparing an eternal reward for those who are faithful to the end. According to the testimony of the Church Fathers, it is incommensurably greater than any earthly suffering.
Examples of vanity from life
Life is rich in events, and examples of vanity in it can be found much more often than it might seem at first glance:
- The guy tells everyone that he is an excellent sports dancer and is very successful in this path. In fact, he only knows basic, primitive movements, he just loves praise and flattery.
- An office employee boasts to his colleagues that by the age of 25 he has a car, an apartment and a country plot, and they are losers, since they rent apartments and travel by public transport. It’s just that the benefits that a person boasts about so much were inherited from his parents.
- A person who has long graduated from school continues to set himself as an example for everyone, boasting about his own good grades and certificates for participating in regional Olympiads.
- A woman quarreled with her husband because he did not notice her new hairstyle and did not give her the required number of compliments.
- The child really wanted to earn the praise of his parents, so he began to invent stories about good deeds that he allegedly performed (transferred his grandmother across the road, helped a girl find a lost kitten, showed the way to a lost passerby). Parents cannot verify the authenticity of his words, so they believe the child and praise him. As a result, he decides to regularly invent good deeds in order to earn his parents' approval.
- The businessman wanted to impress his friends and decided to buy the best yacht. He was so carried away that he spent all his capital on the ship. As a result, the business went into decline.
What examples of vanity do you know from your own life experience? Maybe you or your friends showed vanity. Share in the comments.
What do sadness and laziness have in common?
In the 4th century. n. e. Christian theologian Evagrius of Pontus wrote the doctrine “On the Eight Evil Thoughts,” which says:
There are eight main thoughts, from which all other thoughts arise. The first thought is gluttony and after it - fornication, the third - love of money (greed - editor's note), the fourth - sadness, the fifth - anger, the sixth - despondency, the seventh - vanity, the eighth - pride. So that these thoughts disturb the soul or not, it does not depend on us, but whether they remain in us for a long time or not, whether they set passions in motion or not - it depends on us.
In the second half of the 6th century. Pope Gregory I the Great, in his work “Commentary on the Book of Job, or Moral Interpretations,” combined into one sin sadness with despondency, vanity with pride, and added envy. As a result, instead of 8 evil thoughts there were 7: pride, envy, anger, despondency, greed, gluttony, lust.
In the 18th century The doctrine of the seven deadly sins penetrates Russian Orthodoxy. In particular, it is actively preached by the Bishop of the Russian Orthodox Church Tikhon of Zadonsky. It was he who first put despondency and laziness in one place. But what do they have in common?
The Holy Fathers saw a close connection between these two concepts and believed that laziness gives rise to despondency
For example, the theologian Ignatius Brianchaninov revealed the sin of Acedia, or despondency, as “laziness towards every good deed, especially prayer, abandonment of prayer and soulful reading, inattention and haste in prayer, negligence. Ignorance, idleness, excessive sleeping, idle talk, blasphemy, forgetfulness of the commandments of Christ, negligence, deprivation of the fear of God, bitterness, insensibility, despair.”
And the Monk Ambrose of Optina wrote that “despondency means the same laziness, only worse. From despondency you will weaken both in body and spirit. I don’t want to work or pray; you go to church with neglect; and the whole man weakens.”
Why is laziness or despondency a mortal sin?
The Christian theologian, Byzantine philosopher, abbot of the Sinai Monastery John Climacus believed that a despondent person is “a slanderer of God, as if He is unmerciful and unloving of mankind.” According to the church, the demon himself pushes people to despondency and laziness. He tempts victims who, in a state of spiritual bitterness, refuse to fulfill all their religious duties.
The author of works of a philosophical and moralistic nature, François VI de La Rochefoucauld, wrote very precisely about this sin:
“Laziness is the most unconscious of all our passions. Although its power is imperceptible, and the damage it causes is deeply hidden from our eyes, there is no passion more ardent and malicious. If we take a close look at its influence, we will be convinced that it invariably manages to take possession of all our feelings, desires and pleasures... In lazy peace, the soul draws secret pleasure, for the sake of which we immediately forget about our warmest hopes and firmest intentions. Finally, to give a true idea of this passion, let us add that laziness is such a sweet peace of the soul that consoles it in all losses and replaces all blessings.”
Let us note that today laziness and despondency are no longer ranked high on the list of mortal sins. Western civilizations consider laziness a vice; in the Russian Orthodox tradition, despondency remains such.
When vanity is useful
Any aspect or phenomenon has positive and negative features. Undoubtedly, vanity has many more negative sides than positive ones, but sometimes it helps a person.
For example, it is vanity that is the mechanism for launching a person’s undertakings, his self-improvement (growth on the career ladder, studying at a prestigious university, high-paying job). Energy and passion for accomplishment appear.
Often it is vanity that helps a person achieve widespread success and recognition. The most striking example of this is show business stars.
Do you think vanity can help in life? Or does it just get in the way? Give your examples under the article in the comments.
Share the victory
It helps a lot to get rid of arrogance by realizing the fact that very rarely we achieve anything on our own, without someone’s help, at least indirectly.
- Did you manage to get a prestigious job with a high salary? The chances would have been much lower if my parents had not paid for studies at a good university in due time.
- Are we proud of our next promotion? Great - but perhaps this is partly due to the merit of his beloved uncle, who several years ago recommended a young and inexperienced student to the boss.
- Is the grass on the lawn near a private house the most beautiful and well-groomed on the entire street? But you have to borrow a lawn mower from a neighbor.
- We can’t stop admiring our unearthly beauty? So this is not our merit at all - thanks to God and mom and dad.
- Did your son graduate from school with a gold medal? But it was he who pored over textbooks at night, while his parents snored in unison in the bedroom.
If you think about it, almost every achievement we are proud of has someone else having a hand in it.
The willingness to admit this and share success with those who helped achieve victory is a great help in the fight against vanity.
How to protect yourself from other people's attacks
A vain person often experiences misunderstanding from the people around him, and some are openly laughed at and made fun of by colleagues and friends. There are various ways to protect yourself from such people.
To begin with, it is worth understanding what the characteristics of a vain person are and why he acts this way. If his behavior bothers him, you can try the following:
- Limit your communication with a proud person in favor of other people.
- Understand that such people are not capable of empathy and reduce all conversations only to their own achievements.
- Do not turn to a vain person for moral support.
- Build your self-esteem based on internal factors, and not on the words of narcissistic people.
- Do not allow such a person to manipulate anything.
- Ignore his blatant attacks and lies.
- If you need to criticize a vain person, do it tactfully.
It is worth showing sympathy for a vain person, because often this condition develops due to serious problems in childhood, incorrect upbringing and example.
What are immaculate (blameless) passions?
These are not sinful addictions, but the natural suffering of man after the Fall.
The concept of “passion” is often applied equally to both vicious (reproachful) and immaculate (blameless) passions. However, there is a difference between these two concepts, and a considerable one. Reproachful passions are formed in a person as a result of his personal deviation towards evil. As a person is gradually captivated by one or another type of sin, sinful habits are formed in him, then sinful habits, which, over time, develop into a persistent dependence on these types of sins.
“Natural and immaculate passions,” according to the testimony of St. John of Damascus, are those not in our power, which entered human life as a result of condemnation resulting from a crime, such as hunger, thirst, fatigue, labor, tears, decay, evasion of death, fear, death throes, which produces sweat, drops of blood... and the like, which is inherent in all people by nature.”
Thus, the presence of uncorrected passions does not depend on the will of a person. Whether a person wants it or not, he cannot help but hunger, not thirst, cannot become in principle inaccessible to disease, cannot help but indulge in decay. To some extent, he is able to influence the intensity of the internal manifestation of these passions (for example, by accustoming himself to a fasting lifestyle, tempering his body, etc.), but only to some extent. Natural passion was not characteristic only of primitive people while they were in union with God.
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Whoever sees in himself some kind of dominant passion must first of all arm himself against it... for if we do not conquer this passion, then victory over others will not be of any benefit to us..etc. John Climacus
Passion is a vice that has been ingrained in the soul for a long time and through habit (constant repetition) has become, as it were, a natural property of it, so that the soul already voluntarily and by itself strives for it. Bishop Varnava (Belyaev)
Some are passions, and others are sins. Passions are: anger, vanity, voluptuousness, hatred, evil lust, and the like. Sins are the very actions of passions, when someone carries them out in practice, i.e. performs with his body those deeds to which his passions impel him; for you can have passions, but not act on them. Rev. Abba Dorotheos
You need to know which passion bothers you the most, and you need to fight it especially. To do this, you need to check your conscience every day... We must consider everything bad, including the passions that fight us, not as our own, but as from the enemy - the devil
It is very important. Only then can you overcome passion when you do not consider it yours. Rev.
Nikon Optinsky
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There is a very big difference between love and affection, between hunger and greed, between keen interest and curiosity, etc. Each of our natural tendencies has an evil-tainted counterpart; this is one of the paths to our enslavement. If you didn’t say “no” in time, you can’t avoid the struggle. But then be merciless, because clarity of mind and independence are more precious than the satisfaction you get through enslavement. Who is a sinner? This is a person divided in himself, separated from his neighbor, removed from God. The sinner has lost touch with God, with his conscience, with his own life, with the life of his neighbor. Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh
How to get rid of vanity
How not to be vain:
- Talk less about your loved one and your achievements, especially if people haven’t asked about it. If the interlocutor is still interested in this, then try to answer the question as succinctly as possible.
- Do not express your opinion on any matter, give up the habit of criticizing.
- If it is very difficult to control yourself, then at first you should speak less.
- Give up the habit of bragging and advertising yourself.
- Behave neutrally towards people, do not express harsh criticism, even if someone’s behavior irritates you.
- Try to accept criticism from other people adequately.
- Regularly think about what is happening, reflect on your behavior and its motives.
It is worth sticking to this behavior for at least a couple of weeks, and you will feel how excessive vanity is gradually disappearing from life.
Questions and answers
Features of arrogant behavior are actively discussed on forums. Psychologists are asked many questions about vanity and its manifestations in human life. The most common of them:
Pride, arrogance, vanity - all this is cured by humiliation
Humiliation is the other side of vanity. A humiliated person feels insignificant, worthless, inferior. It is difficult for him to communicate with friends and colleagues on equal terms; it seems as if they are superior to him in many qualities, such as beauty, intelligence, and talent.
But the human psyche cannot withstand prolonged stress; from time to time an individual looks for ways to relieve his psychological stress. There are different discharge methods:
- Aggression towards the weak. A humiliated person causes mental or even physical pain to others (those who are younger, weaker, more defenseless). For example, an employee listens to aggressive criticism from a manager, yells at his wife at home, she scolds a child, and a boy chases a cat.
- Eccentric behavior. In order to rise in his own eyes, a humiliated person attracts attention, deserves the approval and admiration of other people. Positive emotions do not last long; euphoria is followed by self-flagellation and self-deprecation. Such emotional swings shake the psyche, deepen psychological trauma, and internal split.
- The fight for a place in the sun. A humiliated person strives to prove superiority, restore his own importance, and increase self-esteem. To do this, she fiercely participates in contests and competitions, and “gnaws out” lucrative contracts from her competitors. Having become rich, successful or famous, an individual boasts of his achievements to others and proves his own superiority.
Although arrogance and humiliation are related to each other, one of these qualities is not an antidote to the other.
Why do so many people have this unreasonable sense of importance?
The basis for inflated self-esteem is formed in early childhood and adolescence. Often an ambitious personality develops among friends, teachers, and coaches.
The main reasons for vanity:
- Children's psychological trauma associated with humiliation. Parents systematically criticized the child, did not recognize his achievements, and nullified all his efforts. Having become an adult, a person strives to earn universal recognition, praise, and flattery in order to compensate for his inferiority complex.
- Conflicts at school. A student who was bullied by his classmates grows up arrogant, proud, and arrogant. These are his “masks”, a kind of defense mechanism from a cruel, inhospitable world.
- An atmosphere of selfishness. When a baby becomes the head of the family, parents indulge all his whims, satisfy his desires and whims. The child skillfully manipulates adults, becomes spoiled, demanding, proud, arrogant.
- Vanity is a protest in response to undervaluation by the other sex. For example, a girl in her teens was not particularly beautiful and was an “ugly duckling” whom boys laughed at. Having matured and become attractive, she takes revenge on men, showing arrogance and arrogance towards them.
- Compensation for defects. An inferiority complex encourages an individual to intensive self-development. This is how an ugly boy becomes a worldwide genius in order to increase his own self-esteem and make up for the lack of some qualities with others.
There are many more reasons for vanity than those listed above. To find them, you need long-term work by a psychologist and contact with the patient’s subconscious.
How to get rid of vanity
There is no universal pill for vanity. But psychology provides several methods with which you can get rid of delusions of grandeur:
- Talk less about yourself, express your own opinion only when others ask for it.
- Admire other people's achievements.
- Listen calmly to flying words and excessive praise.
- Engage in self-development (then there will be no time left for pride in your own achievements).
- Stop comparing yourself to others.
If you start fighting vanity with frenzy, you can come to the other extreme - self-deprecation. You shouldn’t attach great importance to your own shortcomings and fight them hard. Detached observation of oneself from the outside is the best cure for any psychological problems and complexes.
Is wealth a sin?
We found out what love of money is. Now let's think about whether it is a sin to be rich?
Let's start with how this wealth is earned. Let's say two businessmen live. One conducts his business honestly. And the second one dodges, looks for “left” sources of income, offends his employees with wages, their working conditions are slave-like. And at the same time, this businessman thinks only about profit. What can you give to a beggar or someone simply in need? He's tired of red caviar for breakfast, give him diamonds. And my wife needs a new car. And not for three million, but for six.
The first businessman does not have any “left” income. He pays his workers good wages and takes care of comfortable working conditions for them. He eats simply, does not chase expensive cars, the tenth apartment or the fifteenth mansion. He donates money to the church and helps those who need it. He gives part of the money to the orphanage, strictly making sure that these funds reach the children and not end up in the employees’ pockets.
It seems like two people, two businessmen. Only the first is not attached to material goods, and the second suffers from the love of money. Wealth is not useful to him and will not bring anything good.
Manifestations of despondency
Dejection is one of the types of unbelief. A person becomes disappointed in God and begins to despair.
Despair, like any mortal sin, is multifaceted. It can approach a person from any direction. Most often, it is despondency that becomes the first passion on the path of spiritual maturation. It distracts from prayer, sends vain thoughts, makes you doubt even the One who is unshakable and eternal - God. Dejection is especially powerful when you are alone. A lonely person succumbs much more easily to boredom, despondency and despair. This is why aspiring monks are advised to live in a dormitory. The feat of prayer alone is the lot of experienced monks.
Manifestations of despondency in spiritual life are divided into three categories:
- cooling towards prayer, doubts about its effectiveness;
- laziness, complete reluctance to wage a spiritual struggle with one’s passions and shortcomings;
- the desire to do whatever you want - even to do external good deeds, but not to improve in your inner life.
