Diagnosis: teenager. 7 ways to overcome the teenage crisis

Psychologists and doctors call the teenage crisis a period in a person’s life when active changes occur at the physiological and psychological level. The transformation of a child into a teenager is expressed by the desire to demonstrate their own independence, express themselves and assert themselves. Conflicts often arise with parents and teachers, and the zeal for learning disappears.

The teenage crisis lasts several years, begins around 11 and ends by the time of adulthood, and sometimes by 20-21 years. This difficult period is accompanied by hormonal changes, changes in body shape, appearance, as well as the emergence of a personal worldview.

Going through a crisis period is not easy for a teenager - emotional swings and inability to cope with new tasks often make you doubt your own abilities. Attentive parents, teachers and psychologists are able to help yesterday’s child cope with the period of growing up so that the teenage crisis passes with minimal losses.

Adolescent crisis: physiological basis

At 11-12 years old, the hormonal system is actively restructured. The thyroid gland, adrenal glands, and pituitary gland begin to work especially intensively. These organs synthesize sex hormones and growth hormones in greater quantities than before. At the same time, thymus function decreases.

Significant changes occur against the background of hormonal changes.

They are manifested by intensive growth - in girls, an increase in body parts is observed from 11 to 13, in boys from 13 to 15 years. The changes do not occur simultaneously; often the limbs are stretched first, then the torso. Most teenagers seem clumsy and angular. Due to the disproportionate size of individual parts of the body, they feel insecure about their own attractiveness and shyness.

Boys' voice changes due to thickening of the ligaments. A high children's timbre does not immediately become lower. “Withdrawal” occurs for about a year.

The speed of puberty during puberty largely depends on the constitution, heredity, climate and other factors. In girls, the period of menarche (first menstruation) occurs at 11-13 years, boys mature at 13-15 years. But the formation of the hormonal and reproductive system is completed later, at 18-20 years of age.

The crisis is accompanied by an awakening of interest in representatives of the opposite sex. The awakening of sexuality, the first love is reflected in the emotional state and behavior of a teenager.

Emotional swings are a hallmark of adolescence. Sharp fluctuations in hormones, combined with the inability to understand the reasons and manage their emotions ecologically, force teenagers to react violently - to show aggression, cry, feel depressed or excited. Against the background of emotional changes, physiological reactions also arise - jumps in blood pressure, muscle spasms, rapid fatigue.

Age-specific reactions

Adolescence is characterized by four reactions:

• emancipation;
• grouping with peers;
• interest in the opposite sex;
• numerous hobbies.

Let's look at each of them in more detail.

Emancipation reaction

This is the desire to act independently. It permeates the entire life of a teenager, that is, this reaction can be observed every day. Highlight:

• emotional (care to communicate with peers);
• behavioral (escape from parental control);
• normative emancipation (denial of habitual values, search for new ones).

Grouping with peers

The peer group is the regulator of a teenager’s behavior. He seeks self-affirmation in her.

Interest in the opposite sex

Relationships with the opposite sex are twofold: on the one hand, interest, and on the other, feigned indifference.

Hobbies

There are several groups of teenage hobbies:

• intellectual-aesthetic (deep passion for something);
• bodily-manual (the purpose of the classes is strength and endurance);
• leadership;
• egocentric (independent activities);
• gambling (betting);
• information and communication (TV, Internet, telephone).

Teenage crisis: signs

Not all parents recognize the crisis of adolescence by its first manifestations. Often it seems to adults that the child does not want to obey or is being rude on purpose, showing stubbornness “out of spite” or under the influence of “wrong” friends.

Repeated situations in which the child refuses to communicate, violently displays emotions, or insists on his own, make you think that your child has entered adolescence.

Attention! By knowing the signs of a teenage crisis, parents can help their son or daughter cope with a difficult period without serious consequences.

Teenagers become conflicted, reject any proposals from adults, and insist on their point of view.

Those who just yesterday enjoyed playing sports, playing music, or attending handicraft clubs, stop enjoying their activities. It is not uncommon for boys and girls to give up activities that they have spent several years pursuing. Teenagers quickly become interested in other activities and just as quickly lose interest in them. Children react very violently to parents’ admonitions not to quit classes or clubs and regard this as an attempt to infringe on their freedom.

Inconstancy of behavior is manifested by emotional swings. They manifest themselves in communication with teachers and parents. To a large extent, the emotional state of a teenager depends on relationships with peers. At home, at school and in the company of friends, the same teenager behaves and reacts to the same phrases differently.

Thus, with adults, stubbornness, negativism, and aggression can manifest themselves. This behavior is a sign that the teenager is trying to gain independence:

1. Freed from the need for approval and evaluation from parents. This is necessary in order to learn to follow the chosen path (this does not mean antisocial behavior), without looking back at the opinions of the mother and father.
2. Stops evaluating himself and the world around him through the prism of parental criteria. Your own opinion appears, which is based on your experience.
3. Learns to provide for himself financially, strives for freedom of choice of work, place to live, interests and social circle.
4. Gains the experience of life without feelings of guilt and anxiety for separation from parents.

Peers become the most important people for a teenager. He tries to imitate those whom he considers more successful in some area.

At home and at school, a new style of behavior is not always accepted with understanding. But it’s not easy for a child to develop clear tactics. This causes the teenager to isolate himself from everyone or only from a specific group of people.

Terminating contacts is often very difficult. For some, reading books, computer games, and searching for answers to questions in their own minds become salvation. Other teenagers completely distance themselves from their classmates and begin to communicate more with their peers in the yard.

Important! How detached a teenager will be depends on the depth of his crisis experiences and those events that are perceived painfully. The more traumatic moments, the more lonely the boy or girl becomes.

Studying suffers. The reason for this is the transfer of importance from knowledge to social interaction. A teenager may attend classes not to gain knowledge, but wanting to meet people who are important to him. Adolescent children are guided by the same principle when choosing additional activities.

Teenage crisis: causes

Classics of psychology consider the causes of the crisis of adolescence from several perspectives:

1. Discrepancy between sexual and socio-cultural development and the end of physiological growth (L. S. Vygotsky). Transitional age is a necessary link between childhood and adulthood, which was formed as a result of cultural and historical development.
2. During adolescence, needs arise that the child is not able to satisfy due to insufficient experience and physiological characteristics (L.I. Bozhovich). The source of increased emotionality, aggression and other behavioral problems is the internal and external prohibitions that a growing person faces.
3. A crisis for a teenager is a period of searching for his place, role, purpose in life, a time of self-determination (E. Erikson).

Intense mental and physiological development stimulates the emergence of new needs. Lack of maturity does not allow them to be fully satisfied. A teenager feels like an adult, but cannot live like an adult.

Due to the fact that the child now pays the main attention not to studies, but to communication with peers, academic performance decreases. Against this background, internal tension and anxiety arise, which are often accompanied by pressure from parents and teachers.

After 10 years, the parietal lobes of the brain begin to actively develop. This helps the teenager develop the ability to use his intellectual and analytical abilities. But insufficient development of the prefrontal cortex does not allow one to analyze risks and one’s own capabilities. plan and control emotions. This skill appears by the age of 17-18.

The development of the cognitive sphere becomes the impetus for a teenager to acquire new knowledge. He moves from figurative to abstract thinking, his own experience already acquired helps in this. While processing information, the child actively uses knowledge, memory, deduction, and forms his own opinion.

A new level of thinking makes it possible to realize your own uniqueness. There is a basis for thinking about purpose, against the background of which the teenager’s life position is formed, and fears also arise.

One of the main reasons for a difficult crisis is conflictual relationships with parents. For many adults, it is not easy to accept changes in their child's behavior. Parents try to use the same approaches in relationships (as with a child), not taking into account that their daughter or son has already grown up.

Personal development

Teenagers are characterized by a sense of adulthood. Their adulthood may have the following character:

• imitative (the simplest, but dubious way: imitation of appearance);
• exemplary (the desire to be like a “real woman”, “real man”);
• social (cooperation with adults, participation in the life of the family, society);
• intellectual (self-education, additional search for scientific information).

During adolescence, old value orientations are broken down and new guidelines are sought or created.

Self-awareness is formed through egocentrism, which is overcome through knowledge of peers (communication). Initially, egocentrism manifests itself in two ways:

• feeling like an actor and perceiving the world as a stage;
• belief in the uniqueness of one's emotions.

Adolescent crisis from a medical point of view

The teenage crisis is a time when the endocrine system begins to work more actively than before. During puberty, secondary sexual characteristics develop. Height increases very quickly - in just a few months, boys and girls grow by 5-6 cm, and their legs increase by a whole size.

Rapid growth often causes poor posture.

The active work of the sebaceous and sweat glands makes teenagers often feel embarrassed due to excessive sweating and skin rashes. The desire to look attractive often makes girls refuse to eat. And for other teenagers, food becomes a way to satisfy their need to be noticed and relieve anxiety.

All of the above manifestations of the teenage crisis, noticed in time, can be corrected. To avoid undesirable consequences, parents should be attentive to their child and, if necessary, do not delay a visit to a neurologist, endocrinologist, or psychotherapist. Ignoring a child’s teenage crisis is unsafe for his mental and physical health.

Features of the teenage crisis

During the transition from childhood to adulthood, mental new formations appear that previously functioned primitively. But the teenager does not yet know how to use what he has acquired so as not to experience emotional fluctuations.

Rigid logic that requires quick decisions and direct answers causes teenagers to see the world in black and white, without shades.

This is facilitated by developing logical thinking and the ability to draw conclusions in the absence of nuance. The teenager evaluates in a sharply negative or positive way not only the world, other people, but also himself.

Considering himself not as an extension or addition to his parents, but as a separate person, the teenager begins to pay a lot of attention to his own experiences. He begins to look for answers to questions about what is the meaning of life, what death is, what lies behind religions, why friendship and love are needed. But, most importantly, he sets goals for his future.

The importance of peers for a teenager borders on the realization that loneliness at some points in life is inevitable. More and more often, he thinks about what he has in common with his friends, and what he shares and directs along his own path.

Dangerous moment! In a situation where a teenager is very close to friends, dependent on their opinions, has many common interests with them, conflicts and misunderstandings can cause a very painful reaction.

The feeling of complete loneliness often arises against the backdrop of the fact that a teenager overestimates his capabilities. His strength increases, which makes it possible to independently solve some issues and cope without constant outside help. The teenager begins to experience his omnipotence. But insurmountable difficulties and limited resources provoke a state of disappointment in oneself and the emergence of complexes.

Easy games

— What should a child emerge from adolescence with?

— In theory, after such a storm, a child emerges with his own worldview, with a vision of himself and the world, with goals for the future. He finds what is more valuable and meaningful, leaving all external shockingness behind. It is important that by this time personal baggage has been formed.

- What if he’s not there?

— Yes, some people get stuck in adolescence. I had such a boy in my practice, he was already in his senior year, but he had no idea what would happen next, he didn’t care. It is important to look at values, interests, inclinations. And again, there should be a reasonable, wise adult nearby. This is the main condition on which the future fate of the child depends.

Dad and son.

Mikhail Khaustov

Yes, we cannot take away gadgets, but the child must use them wisely. Why are games so important for a teenager? There you can easily become a winner without putting in any effort and achieve results. And you can achieve results at school only by poring over textbooks.

Tips for Parents of Teens

Parental support during the teenage crisis is very important. Older family members already have experience in overcoming difficult stages in life and can help their child get through the most difficult period without major losses.

Parents should be attentive and sensitive towards their son or daughter. When a child begins to show independence, it is important not to slow him down or push him, but to give him the opportunity to realize his desire to take responsibility.

Psychologists recommend that parents of teenagers:

• study special literature that introduces the intricacies of adolescence. Participate in parent groups - they are organized in many schools and personal development clubs;
• understand that the changes that occur with the child are inevitable, necessary and normal. Even if he shows disobedience, rebels, refuses everything, is not interested in anything. In fact, behind the apparent indifference lies a very sensitive and vulnerable person;
• support the desire for independence, try not to be overprotective. The techniques that parents used with their children recently no longer work. During the transition period, not only the child, but also the entire family system must change.
• the period of separation of a teenager from the family, his exit from care is often unexpected and painful for parents. In such a situation, the help of a psychologist is required. Not only individual work with a specialist helps, but also participation in a parent group;
• The task of the parents of a teenager is to listen carefully to the child and not try to lecture him. This is necessary for the child to begin to trust and learn to share experiences;
• Attention to the child’s mood and behavior is necessary, this allows you to track violations in time and seek help. It is important not to be afraid to see the problem, but by supporting your son or daughter to try to solve the problem;
• remember that adolescence is not forever. In a few years the child will grow up. But what it will become after the end of the crisis largely depends on the parents themselves.

For a person going through an adolescent crisis, it is extremely important to understand that he has something of his own. You need to learn to protect your own personal boundaries and not violate others. Give your child the opportunity to be alone, to have secrets and personal things that no one else has access to.

To make your child feel more confident, not embarrassed by clumsiness, and able to stand up for himself, involve him in playing sports together. This will not only create a sense of common interests and trust, but will also develop reaction, agility, dedication and determination.

When trying to achieve something from your son or daughter, you need to set an example. In other words, behave the way you want your teenager to behave. If you want to be treated with respect, respect him and other people. When requiring your child to return home from a walk on time, be punctual yourself. And if you want your son or daughter to seek advice, ask them for changes too.

When it ends

It is believed that the normal age for the end of puberty is 14-16 years. However, psychologists began to notice that in the modern world, for young people and girls, the crisis began to begin and end much later, in most cases after reaching adulthood.

Psychologists attribute this to the fact that modern standards require young people to be competitive in terms of education, which now takes much longer to obtain.

In this regard, the period when a young man or woman begins to work and live independently is constantly being pushed back. Therefore, the end of adolescence may occur at 17-21 years. Whether this is good or not is difficult to say. Although it can be noted that the emergence of a later period contributes to its calm or less conflictual course.

What is the formula for happiness in a home with a teenager? It’s simple – it’s enough to achieve mutual understanding and mutual respect. The raging hormones will gradually subside, and a new, adult person will appear in front of the parents, who will be grateful to them for the support provided.

Prevention

Sensitivity and attention to the teenager on the part of parents makes it possible to avoid serious problems. During the period of self-determination and separation, older family members need not only to pay attention to the child. It is important to find time for your own interests and favorite activities.

You should not try to teach a child - it is much more useful if he sees in his parents living people who also make mistakes and correct mistakes. With whom you can share interesting information and who can also tell you a lot of useful things.

Give your child freedom to the extent that it cannot harm him. A teenager should know that there are boundaries that he cannot violate (they are necessary for safety).

Teach your child that problems in life are inevitable, but not tragic, and that it is worth dealing with difficulties at the very beginning.

Changes in life values

As part of the research project “Value Atlas of Russia,” a study of value orientations was conducted among students in schools, colleges and lyceums in the country. The age of the respondents was 14-19 years. The study was conducted in several federal districts:

• Central;
• Privolzhsky;
• North-West;
• Siberian;
• Ural;
• Yuzhny.

The study showed that for Russian teenagers it is important to be able to independently choose guidelines that influence the choice of direction in life. The study identified 10 main values.

The teenagers' priorities were distributed as follows (from most to least important):

1. Kindness (wishing well-being to loved ones).
2. Independence in judgment and decision making.
3. The desire to receive sensual pleasure (hedonism).
4. The desire for personal success.
5. Personal and public safety.
6. Thirst for adventure, risk, novelty.
7. Striving for understanding, tolerance towards other people, respect for animals and nature (universalism).
8. Socially approved behavior (conformity)
9. Respect for traditions, religiosity.
10. The desire for power.

The choice of life values ​​differs among adolescents of different genders and ages. Thus, among graduate students, independence, new experiences and power are highly valued. For 8th graders, tolerance, respect for traditions and conformity are important. Kindness, safety and universalism are very important for girls. Analysis of the young men's questionnaires showed a tendency to gain power and a high level of independence.

The study also showed problematic issues. The majority of teenagers participating in the survey do not know how, but, moreover, do not want to build a life perspective. They don't know how to act to achieve their goal.

The majority of respondents believe that they are not old enough to think about the future, “it’s not time yet.” Considering that the age difference between the study participants was 5 years, there was no tendency to increase knowledge about oneself, about the strengths and weaknesses of one’s own personality, about ways to overcome difficulties on the way to the goal.

Based on the results of the study, a conclusion was made about the influence of the parental position towards adolescents. During a crisis, many mothers and fathers try to protect their children from “bumps that may fall on their heads”, to protect their children from problems. This leads to the fact that the teenager cannot self-determinate, does not know how to build a life trajectory, does not understand his own desires and does not objectively assess his strengths.

The project manager was Andrey Podolsky, head. Department of Educational Psychology and Pedagogy, Moscow State University. In his opinion, the child needs parental support. But it does not lie in the fact that elders determine the life path of a child. This parenting strategy creates problems for young people in the short and long term.

Irina Sherbul

How to encourage positive behavior in your child

The information presented below is relevant for overcoming and preventing deviations and correcting teenage accentuations. That is, these are the basic principles of parental behavior for the successful passage of adolescence in their child.

1. Invite the teenager to a dialogue. A banal and simple “let’s talk?”
2. Praise on every occasion. You can't combine praise and scolding. Due to natural age-related negativism, a teenager will not notice praise, but will only take note of blame.
3. Together with the teenager, write down the desired behavior styles (relevant for both parties) and discuss them.
4. It is important to set real and clear boundaries, prohibitions and punishments. Teenagers often test their parents for the strength and value of their words. Keep any promises and don’t say: “I’ll kill you” (after all, you won’t, I hope). “I’ll have to turn off the Internet for a day” sounds much better and more realistic.
5. Do not demand immediate fulfillment of the request. The teenager should be given 5-10 minutes to think and reflect internally.
6. Gently remind your teenager of your responsibilities.
7. Always offer an alternative (or at least have one ready).
8. Focus on positive and desirable phenomena, ignore undesirable ones.
9. Agree on punishment in advance. It makes no sense to come up with a reprimand after a teenager does not sleep at home without warning. He should have known all the risks and consequences in advance.