Depression in a child (teenager) 10-17 years old: expert advice

Sometimes children in class have no time to study at all, and on the street they have no time to go for a walk. They may look wild, tense, dissatisfied, extremely slow, unable to put together two words in simple situations. Additional flavor to the painting entitled “Failure in Bloom” can be added by bitten nails, scratched hands and other signs of releasing accumulated tension. Sometimes even an intelligent parent, after a certain number of well-conducted conversations, loses his nerve and bursts out: “What kind of person are you? How can? All people are like people, and you...” But we want to warn you against unfair reproaches. The children are in a difficult situation! 50% of people suffer from neuroses at different periods of their lives, and often these neuroses debut in adolescence.

Depression in a child (adolescent) – what is it?

The word "depression" comes from the Latin deprimo - "to crush", "to suppress".
Depression in a child (adolescent) is characterized by depressed or depressed mood, reluctance to have fun, pessimism, sleep disturbances, and sometimes suicidal tendencies. Children between the ages of 10 and 17 experience various emotional upheavals: a quarrel with a close friend, conflicts in the family, failure at school, failures with the opposite sex. In addition, many are dissatisfied with their appearance (acne or “unfashionable” clothes, appearance that does not meet “beauty standards”), which also negatively affects the psychological situation.

The situation is aggravated by hormonal changes in the body: for some children they pass without a trace, and for some teenagers it is another storm of emotions that must be overcome.

Signs of childhood depression:

In the hustle and bustle of workdays, parents do not always have time to fully communicate with their children. But you can notice a negative attitude in a short period of time. Pay attention to the following symptoms:

decreased interest in favorite activities (studies or hobbies)
sleep disturbance (for example, cannot fall asleep for a long time in the evening or wakes up several times during the night)
weight change (gaining extra pounds or losing weight)
state of increased fatigue
loss of appetite, prolonged refusal to eat
feelings of guilt or shame
absent-minded, unable to concentrate on a specific task
reluctance to communicate with anyone
thoughts of suicide

During the day, symptoms may not appear immediately, but gradually: the teenager wakes up in a good mood, has breakfast, and is happy to get ready for school. When faced with difficulties in class or communicating with peers, he begins to fill himself with negative emotions. Often there is a fixation on one’s experiences, a withdrawal into oneself; When he comes home, he may sit motionless, look at one point, and refuse to eat. At such moments, teenagers often complain about others, criticize any situation, notice only the negative side, without seeing the positive notes.

A thought settles in his head (I’m ugly/fat/boring/I have no friends/nobody loves me/nobody needs me), which accompanies him throughout his depressed state. Constantly thinking about this, he cannot fall asleep peacefully, which leads to sleep disturbance.

Depression in children is accompanied by a sudden surge of good mood - the child is happy, jokes, and communicates. But an hour later he sits again, tired, sad, dissatisfied.

Mood swings in teenagers: how to explain them

Still from the cartoon “The Incredibles”
Has the child entered adolescence, and the house has turned into a battlefield? Teenagers are not as scary as they might seem. Our blogger, psychotherapist Tatyana Sabrekova talks about what happens to them and how to communicate with growing children.

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Either they scream, get angry, slam the door, then they cry and are sad, then they are tired and want to lie next to them, then again they prove something, wave their arms, argue... Is this normal? Why is this happening and when will it end?

For those who do not know how adolescence differs

Teenagers aged 10–13 years begin to change greatly in appearance. Growth does not occur gradually, as we would like, but in leaps and bounds. The body changes a lot: first the feet and palms stretch, then the arms, legs, and only then the hips and shoulders tighten. All this is very rapid and sudden, your child notices something new in himself almost every day.

Do you think this makes him feel at ease? No, not calm. There are many changes, they are different, not always understandable and pleasant, it is unclear when these changes will end and how to relate to them.

Author's comic

Think back to the first time as an adult you got a gray hair or a mole, wrinkles, or maybe a little belly from delicious food that wasn’t there before. How did you react? It was unexpected, incomprehensible, you felt confused: you never thought that this would happen, but it happened. You are not ready, even if you were warned about it. You just didn’t believe that this would happen to you.

This is even more common among teenagers, because they have such an internal structure: they must question everything and are confident in their immortality and static nature. “This may be true for others, but it certainly won’t happen to me.” They feel discomfort because they don't like the result.

It’s great to become beautiful and grown up at once, but what if you’re in an intermediate stage? It doesn't look or sound that cool

There are many changes, but it is unclear how to approach them. A teenager is very sensitive to criticism, especially when you or someone else talks about his appearance. Absolutely all comments, even those made with good intentions (and we, adults, give just such), do not achieve the goal, do not bring relief or consolation to the child, but, on the contrary, traumatize him: “You are very slouched, straighten up!”, “Just don’t paint your eyes so much, it doesn’t suit you!”, “You have pimples on your forehead.”

Believe me, he knows about pimples, he carefully examines his body every day, notices everything and is rather inclined to criticize himself: “My hips are too big/narrow/ugly”, “I’m not as tall and strong as others”, “I have I have hair growing on my face, what a horror!”

Causes of depression in children and adolescents:

Depression in a child never occurs out of nowhere. There are always prerequisites for such a state. Most likely, the teenager was faced with a stressful situation, and due to his age, was unable to properly accept and survive it. And this is quite enough for a fragile child’s psyche.

The main reasons include:

Hormonal changes are a “turbulent” and lengthy process. The maturation of the reproductive system is accompanied by high emotional stress: irritation, melancholy or increased anxiety. As a rule, this period passes after 2-4 years. During this time, accumulated stress can easily develop into a serious disorder.
The realities of the adult world - he comes to understand that the world that he saw with children's eyes is not so kind and cloudless, but is full of cruelty and injustice.
Youthful maximalism - a teenager feels that he is being ignored, not seen and not noticed. Everything is divided into black and white, bad and good. Against this background, conflicts arise with parents and teachers.
Family conflicts - children react sharply to quarrels between parents, have a hard time with divorce or a difficult financial situation. It’s hard if he constantly hears criticism of himself or parents’ dissatisfaction related to poor performance at school.
Lack of friends. The most important thing for a teenager is communication with peers, a communication environment, and the opportunity to share common interests with friends. In adolescence, emotional emancipation from parents occurs: if previously the child shared his experiences with his parents, now he can close himself off and not talk about the events of the day and his experiences. In general, this is normal for a teenager, but it is important to find a place where this exchange of emotions can take place. A teenager is looking for emotional contact with peers, and if such contact was not found, there was no acceptance in the team, no establishment of friendships - for a teenager this is very painful and traumatic. He feels unnecessary and unsuccessful.
“Unideal” appearance – teenagers tend to worry that they don’t look like everyone else, are overweight (in their opinion), or that skin problems will turn the whole world against them. Failure to meet the notorious “beauty standards” or the standards accepted in a particular group (for example, it is necessary to be athletic or dress in branded clothes) can result in a teenager being ridiculed by the group, low self-esteem, anorexia and, ultimately, depression.
Frequent moves - separation from the established team and its usual comfort zone - unsettled. Having arrived in a new place, a teenager faces difficulties in communicating and creating new connections, which of course affects his condition.
Bullying in schools - teenagers often show unjustified cruelty, which leaves its mark on the psyche.
Addiction to the Internet and computer games - in the virtual world it is easy and simple to be successful, in the real world it is much more difficult.
Increased loads - some children have a hard time with the school curriculum. And many parents insist on attending additional classes and clubs, believing that this is only beneficial. This rhythm of life creates an additional stressful situation that not everyone can handle.
Unrequited love or the first unsuccessful sexual experience - experiences in such a state take up a lot of energy, and there is often no one and nowhere to share your experiences and receive support.

"Masks" of teenage depression

Sometimes it can be difficult to identify depression in adolescents, since it can “disguise” itself as various conditions.

Case No. 1. Broken heart

The mother of 13-year-old Dima turned to the school psychologist. She complained that she did not understand why her child had changed so dramatically. If before he was calm and obedient, now it’s as if he has been replaced: he began to skip classes, got involved with bad company, and is constantly rude to his parents. And recently she found a package of smoking mixture in his jacket pocket.

The psychologist invited Dima for a consultation, and it turned out that the boy was depressed. He is not interested in either his new company or the use of harmful substances. He just wanted to “drown out” his worries about the girl he liked. When he confessed his feelings to her and proposed dating, she refused him and called him a loser and a “stupid.”

Some signs of potential depression in a teenager:

Feeling of emptiness and meaninglessness – a teenager can study well, lead a normal life, but still feel empty. There is no understanding of why he lives; everything seems monotonous and uninteresting to him.
"I do not want anything" . Lack of interests, lack of desire to communicate, make friends, apathy.
“No one needs me” - the feeling of being not needed by anyone becomes driven. Having fallen under the influence of a stronger comrade, the disorder only intensifies.
Emotional swings. Sudden changes in mood, prolonged bad mood can be replaced by fits of rage and aggression, and then passivity and self-deprecation.
Conversations about death and suicide. If a teenager has become interested in the topic of death and suicide, it is important to pay attention to this in time. A teenager may use phrases such as “there is no point in living”, “we will all die anyway”, “I don’t see the point...”.
Pointless actions, fixation - fixation on a useless activity, for example, constant presence on social networks (regularly updating the “feed”, in anticipation of new meaningless information).
Drastic changes - a teenager dramatically changes his social behavior, changes his appearance (dye his hair, piercing). Changes may concern lifestyle, interests, social circle and worldview.
“Always successful” - these are children who “bend themselves out of their way” to achieve positive results and achieve success. But behind the screen of a “successful teenager” is a child who hides his true experiences. Often such achievements do not bring moral satisfaction and are accompanied by a strong fear of disappointing parents.

Each individual item may not necessarily be a sign of depression, but a combination of signs and/or clearly expressed manifestations may be a cause for concern and referral to a specialist.

Clinical manifestations

Depending on the symptoms, the following variants of cyclothymia in adolescents are distinguished:

vital;
anesthetic;
apathetic.

Vital form

The predominant clinical manifestations are:

causeless pessimism;
despondency;
depression;
yearning;
anxiety;
constant feelings of guilt, self-flagellation, which is accompanied by obsessive ideas of shame and moral responsibility;
low self-esteem.

Often this emotional state is accompanied by quite tangible somatic manifestations. The child complains of discomfort, tightness, a feeling of constriction, a “tight hoop” tightening the chest. Shortness of breath often appears, worsening in stressful situations.

Anesthetic form

This type of cyclothymia in adolescents is characterized by emotional alienation and detachment, and in severe cases reaches the level of painful insensibility. The child has no mood, no desire to do anything, he does not feel boredom, melancholy, joy, or pleasure. Everything seems unnatural, distant, alien to him. Often the patient describes his condition as “existence behind a high fence,” “complete isolation from the surrounding reality.”

At the same time, the patient is fully aware of the changes in his psyche and behavior, and suffers from this. The ability to concentrate, generalize, systematize and analyze new information decreases. At the same time, the feeling of hunger, satiety, thirst, etc. is dulled.

Apathetic cyclothymia

Characterized by a decrease in overall vitality, indifference to everything that happens around, including the results of one’s own work and academic success. All actions are performed rather by inertia, automatically. In addition, facial expressions lose expressiveness, speech becomes monosyllabic and simple, movements become slow and constrained.

The child prefers to spend most of his time in bed, showing no interest in anything. The clinical picture is dominated by feelings of internal discomfort and hopelessness. This is combined with general lethargy and asthenia.

General symptoms

For all forms of cyclothymia in adolescents, the change from a depressive episode to hypomania (hyperthymic affect) is typical. Melancholy and depression are replaced by a feeling of euphoria, which is accompanied by:

Types of depression:

Reactive – considered a benign type of disorder. This condition is typical for teenagers who have experienced severe emotional shock. For example: parental divorce or death of a loved one.

Melancholic – characterized by a state of depression and melancholy, interest in everything is lost, often sits in one’s room in one position or moves slowly (lethargy). Against the background of these symptoms, sleep and appetite disturbances develop. For girls, disruptions in the menstrual cycle are common. Suicidal thoughts may be added to prolonged melancholy.

Bipolar disorder is characterized by rapid changes in phases, sometimes in short periods of time. The younger the age, the shorter the phases and can range from several hours to 2-3 weeks. Mania manifests itself in the form of aggression and anger. Psychologists may not notice bipolar disorder, citing “adolescent character changes,” so it is recommended to involve a specialist with a narrower profile (clinical psychologist, psychiatrist).

Dysthymia is a long-term mental disorder that usually lasts for a year, possibly several years. The child appears passive and lonely and cannot concentrate on completing a specific task. May be accompanied by sleep disturbances and loss of appetite. This disease often becomes chronic and is occasionally interrupted by mood changes.

Severe (major) depression is protracted. Lasts from six months to 9 months. The teenager is sad and irritable, he is not interested in anything. Symptoms may not be obvious, for example sleep disturbance: the parent refers to fatigue and workload. Some children begin to “eat up” this condition with large portions of food. This is the moment that should alert you. The situation is aggravated by thoughts, in some cases, suicide attempts.

You should pay special attention if you increasingly hear references to death and suicide, for example:

Reads poems and stories about suicide, or has started writing on this topic himself
Romanticizes death and the dying person.
Jokes about death
Says goodbye to family and friends as if for the last time
Frequent injuries and cuts
You hear the phrases: “It would be better if I died,” or “Why was I born?” or "There is no way out"

In this case, you need to act immediately and find a specialist to provide assistance as soon as possible.

What are the signs that indicate that a child is depressed?

Parents should be well versed in the signs of teenage depression in order to be able to identify what is happening to their child in time.

As we have already said, depression is characterized by changes in the behavior, mood and thinking of a teenager.

Emotional changes:

feeling of sadness and longing;
depressed mood, increased tearfulness;
irritability, outbursts of anger, even for minor reasons;
loss of joy of life and interest in usual activities;
frequent conflicts with friends and family;
painful reaction to failures;
increased anxiety, fears;
feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness;
excessive self-criticism, increased feelings of guilt.

Behavioral changes:

sudden weight loss/gain;
sleep disorders (insomnia/excessive sleepiness);
motor restlessness/retardation;
apathy, loss of strength, feeling of constant fatigue;
frequent complaints of pain in the abdomen, head, etc.;
auto-aggression (self-mutilation, cutting, etc.);
indifference to one’s own appearance/its sudden change;
rebellious, protest behavior;
desire for loneliness, solitude.

Changes in mental activity:

difficulty concentrating, decreased concentration;
constant “scrolling” of gloomy and disturbing thoughts in the head;
slowing down the rate of speech;
forgetfulness, memory impairment.

In order for a diagnosis of depression to be made, a teenager must exhibit at least five of these symptoms throughout the day for 2 weeks.

It is also important for parents to pay attention to their children’s statements.

It's time to sound the alarm if a teenager:

often talks or jokes about death;
talks about the meaninglessness of his future or experiences strong fear of it;
is indifferent to himself and his own health;
speaks derogatorily about himself: “I am worthless,” “It would be better if I died,” etc.

What should parents do?

The family atmosphere is very important for the formation of the child’s psyche. Parents will always pay attention to their child’s unusual behavior. But what exactly should you do if you have problems with your studies or school friends?

If you notice signs of depression, experts advise the following:

Talk in a comfortable environment for him. Try to find out what exactly caused the concern and this result.
Help strengthen his self-esteem. Show him how important and meaningful he is to you and those around you.
Find out about his hobbies, what he is interested in, what he does while you are at work.
Limit custody, make him feel that you trust him.
Give him the right to choose, don’t decide everything for him.
Try not to criticize, but to direct them to the right action.
Avoid high-pitched conversations, try not to conflict.
Find a common interest - this could be an evening walk together, or riding bicycles, or playing football. Attend master classes: draw and create.

Psychologists advise finding as many common points as possible. It is important for a child to feel supported and cared for. But do not forget that increased guardianship will only harm and complicate the situation.

Always sincerely say that you love, appreciate and respect him. Warm and trusting relationships in the family are the key to good mental health of all its members.

If you understand that the situation is beyond your control, do not delay visiting a specialist.

Reasons for sudden mood swings in teenagers

In addition to raging hormones, there are other causes of mood swings in adolescents 12-16 years old:

Upholding your own importance. A young man or girl can scream at family and friends in their hearts, quarrel with relatives and prove that they are right, even if they are not entirely right. His main task during this period is to convince his parents that he is an adult whose opinion must be taken into account.
Inability to restrain emotions. A teenager can quickly get excited and lose his temper, but the child still does not know how to quickly pull himself together. Emotions can change one after another: tears, conversations, laughter and tears again. This is due to the low level of self-regulation, which he must develop through the personal example of authoritative adults. Therefore, parents should analyze their own reactions to stress and control their ability to resolve conflict situations.
Self-centeredness. The most important thing in a teenager's life is his personality. He does not know how to empathize and is only interested in what concerns him. Every day he feels like an actor on stage, watched by thousands of spectators. In this way he achieves the attention of others, his self-esteem increases.
Power struggle. A teenager needs to make decisions independently and feel freedom of action. He achieves this the way he knows how: with scandals, tears, manipulations. During this period, parents must set boundaries and be persistent and consistent.
Drinking alcohol, drugs, smoking illegal substances.

Treatment of depression

Depression in children and adolescents is a serious illness that requires consultation with a specialist. Parents must understand that only they can help their child by recognizing the characteristic signs. You shouldn’t leave things to chance; it’s better to keep everything under control, following the advice of a specialist.

The mild form lends itself to counseling treatment: this can be individual work with a psychologist or visiting a psychological group. Severe cases (for example, suicide attempts) require a more serious, medicinal approach. In such cases, a psychologist and a psychiatrist often work in pairs, complementing each other.

Usually the first specialist you need to turn to for help is a psychologist. During the conversation, he helps to understand the cause of the disease. It will help you find out what emotions and feelings accompany a teenager. Using different techniques, the specialist will be able to explain what fears and doubts have settled in the child’s head. There is a possibility that after communicating with a psychologist, he himself will find ways to solve the problem and get out of this state.

A psychologist will help you cope with mild forms of the disease. If the situation is complex, then you will need additional help from a psychotherapist or psychiatrist.

A psychotherapist is a doctor who helps patients cope with mental illness. The treatment regimen contains psychotherapeutic techniques in combination with drug treatment.

To make a diagnosis, the doctor conducts a conversation with the patient, during which he assesses his condition. Diagnostics helps to establish the exact disease that accompanies the teenager, as well as determine the method of treatment.

If the protracted nature of the disease is revealed, then conversations alone will not be enough. Antidepressants can be added to treatment, which will relieve symptoms of anxiety and apathy, help eliminate irritability and cope with fears.

Which doctor treats depression?

Psychiatrists, psychotherapists, and sometimes psychologists deal with depressive disorders. Unlike ARVI, which in most cases can be dealt with independently at home, depression requires mandatory medical supervision, since the causes of the disease are different. Hence the different treatment methods. As a rule, adolescents are prescribed medication, psychotherapy, and are also given recommendations for lifestyle changes. Normalizing sleep and wakefulness, sports, a balanced diet - all these simple things can really contribute to the fight against depressive disorder.

"Empathy" - studio of practical psychology

Children and teenagers with various emotional problems come to Empathy. We help them overcome difficulties. To do this, our team has specialists who have been working with children and adults for 17 years, helping to deal with internal problems.

Adolescence is a period of personality development. And our task is to help the child not go astray. We help teenagers and parents find and maintain the harmony in which everyone can live and develop comfortably.

“Empathy” runs psychological groups for teenagers, where kids can share important experiences, get support and feedback, learn how to build relationships with peers and find friends. Here a teenager can share his problems, and we will help him understand and understand himself. In this format of communication, support, respect and trust in peers are formed, and the prerequisites for the development of depression in a child go away by themselves.

Of course, we cannot talk about a universal panacea, but psychological work in a group is obviously a prevention of depression; if necessary, we also refer the teenager and parents to specialists with a more specialized profile. You can read about how to invite your child to participate in a psychological group here.

If you are faced with misunderstanding within your family, or have discovered signs of depression in a child, contact us for help. We are waiting for you at the Studio of Practical Psychology “Empathy”.