The friend zone is a popular concept that psychologists explain as an unequal emotional exchange that suits only one participant in the relationship. We have encountered friend zones in films, TV series and, of course, in life. Even the best of guys have faced a situation where they wanted to date, but in response they heard phrases like “I haven’t had a better friend yet,” “oh, how I dream that my boyfriend was like you,” “I wouldn’t want spoil our friendship with relationships”, “it’s not that time yet.” This is the notorious friend zone.
Most often, it is girls who tend to screw with guys, placing them in the friend zone, thereby driving them to complete despair. Moreover, it is not necessary that only guys end up in the friend zone. Many girls who are in love with their “friends” are also worried about how to get out of the friend zone and start dating the object of their affection.
Why do they even put you in the friend zone? Firstly, it is a guaranteed backup option. Secondly, this is how a person attracts attention to his person. And thirdly, this is a bunch of additional benefits from a friend who is in love with you. Much less common is this version of the friend zone, when you don’t want to meet a person, but you feel that he is a very good person and does not deserve a harsh refusal. The right thing to do would be to step back and give the person time to cool down as much as possible and forget about it. Then he won't hold a grudge against you.
What is meant by a friend zone and why does it happen?
The friend zone is a situation in which one person has a crush on another, but the other person treats him just like a good friend. Such cases occur very often. They are tragic for a guy in love, since his feelings turn out to be unrequited, and it becomes unbearable to endure the constant status of a friend.
What provokes such a phenomenon in relationships as the friend zone? Why does a girl include a guy in her friends list and not consider him as a possible soul mate?
Lack of attraction to a guy
This is the most banal and common reason why a woman signs a man up as a friend. For the development of relationships, it is important that feelings for the opposite sex arise, namely falling in love, sexual attraction, passion.
She does not feel such emotions towards men with whom a woman is simply friends. They are shown respect, trust, friendly sympathy, but nothing more. However, you cannot build a romantic relationship with such baggage.
Fear of being rejected
Another reason for the occurrence of the friend zone is the usual fear of new connections with the opposite sex. Perhaps the girl had an unsuccessful personal experience in the past, so she cannot cope with her emotions and constantly keeps the guy in love at a distance, although in fact she is not against an alliance with him.
Self-doubt, shyness, and indecisiveness can also play a big role. If a woman has such qualities, it is difficult for her to step over herself and show her feelings for her partner. So she keeps him in the friend zone, postponing the relationship.
Friendship priority
If a girl feels good with a guy in a friendly relationship, she may simply be afraid of ruining everything. After all, friendship and love relationships are completely different things, and people reveal themselves in them differently. Often, people who were great friends, but over time decided to move to the next level, collapsed.
If a woman values a friend, she may neglect a romantic relationship with him, keeping him in the friend zone.
Fallback option
This is also a fairly common case. If it is clear that a man is in love, but at the moment there are other, better options, the girl may not push him away, but include him in her list of friends. Understanding perfectly the value of a comrade, she continues communication so that if something happens she does not remain completely alone.
Representatives of the fairer sex always strive to have a choice. And they enjoy attention and courtship from men; who would refuse them? It's rare for women to push away guys who show interest in them, because it greatly improves their self-esteem. Every young lady wants to be loved and desired.
All girls have a fear of being alone; this primarily explains the desire to keep a valuable person in reserve. And it doesn’t even matter at all whether he likes it or not.
Why is this necessary?
The friend zone comes in handy for its owner in a variety of situations. Sometimes these are mercantile considerations, but more often it is ordinary caution in choosing a partner.
Reasons why a person keeps another at a distance:
- the opportunity to capture the feelings of not one, but several potential partners,
- a reserve airfield for “landing” in the event of a collapse of the relationship being built,
- distrust of a partner, usually caused by previously failed relationships,
- emotional release and the opportunity to cry into your vest without giving anything in return,
- perhaps a person really sees in a partner only a friend and a soul mate, but not a soul mate.
Types of friend zones for girls
There are two types of friend zone, which differ in the behavior of the woman.
Explicit
In this case, the fair sex immediately lets the person know that he is just a friend to her. She does not try to keep him with her at all times, does not go on dates with him, does not accept gifts, and generally suppresses any actions that go beyond friendship. The girl does not set herself the task of how to friendzone a guy and keep him.
In such a situation, a man has no chance. If you try to continue courtship, you can ruin the relationship completely. An obvious friend zone is more correct because it does not give false hopes and there are no games on the guy’s feelings.
Hidden
In this case, the following situation is observed: the girl keeps the guy in love in limbo, does not tell him either yes or no. The admirer can only hope that she will make up her mind soon.
You can recognize this form of friend zone by a woman’s behavior:
- always agrees to meet with you;
- accepts gifts from you;
- flirts with you;
- does not reject you;
- does not allow you to get close to yourself.
Many girls act this way, it’s just their nature. They are pleased to realize that several men are in love with them at once. There is also self-interest in this, because a person will always help, surround you with care, give gifts, take you to a cafe, pay for your beloved everywhere. This is very convenient, but from a moral point of view it is ugly.
A guy in such a situation has hope for a relationship with a girl, so he tries to do everything to attract her attention. However, in reality his chances are negligible. Therefore, you should come to your senses in time and leave the friendly zone.
TOP 10 films about friendship between a man and a woman
- "More than a friend" . The film tells us about the friendship between Casey and Wally, which grew into a love relationship and the creation of a family. It all happened because of a donor mistake and Casey's desire to have a child.
- "My Best Friend's Girl" . A very interesting and funny comedy. We recommend viewing.
- "Boys and Girls" . One of the most touching scenes in cinema. Meeting of teenagers who become close. It all starts with strong friendship.
- "Love, Rosie" . The film is about the friendship of two teenagers who, years later, realize that they cannot live without each other.
- "Fall in love with me, if you dare" . This picture tells us about a strange couple who have been friends since an early age. In the relationship between the young people there were constant jokes and games of “weakness”. They were afraid to admit their real feelings to themselves. A very unusual and kind comedy about the friend zone. Suitable for repeated viewing.
- "Just friends".
- "One day".
- "Friends with Benefits".
- "When Harry Met Sally".
- "Silver Linings Playbook".
How to recognize a friend zone?
What does it mean to friend zone guys and how does it manifest itself? It's quite simple. You are in the friend zone if the girl:
- allows himself to discuss women’s topics with you;
- talks freely about his relationships with other guys;
- asks for advice in various life situations, including those concerning her personal life;
- constantly calls him a friend;
- stops your attempts to get closer.
The behavior of the stronger sex when wanting to leave a friendly relationship is slightly different from that of women. If a guy does not always strive to communicate, does not show initiative, does not try to be better around his companion, this means that he is friendzoning the girl.
Respect yourself
It is common for a woman to give her lover a far-fetched high description, often turning a blind eye to his disgusting shortcomings. Representatives of the fair sex often love drunkards, braggarts, gamblers, and fighters. Ready to do anything to gain the favor of a tyrant or womanizer. And unreliable men take advantage of this. Do you pay for the movie and the restaurant bill yourself? This behavior of a man eloquently shows that he does not want to be your gentleman.
Some macho men, when sending their girlfriends to the friend zone, label them as “intimate relationships.” This is a natural desire to relax, use, gain approval, etc. Respect yourself, do not exchange your honor for short-term pleasure. If a guy pulls away after your refusal, it will mean that he doesn't need you.
Be smart. If your ultimate goal in this relationship is bed, then you yourself are a selfish person. Think about the aftertaste. It is possible that intimacy will bring disappointment. And then you will lose not only your lover, but also your friend.
How to leave the friend zone?
Many people know what the friend zone is for men, but few understand how to find a way out of it; in fact, it is not so simple. After all, for representatives of the stronger sex, being rejected or being in the background is humiliating and offensive. Show courage, don't let girls keep you as a backup option.
Changes in appearance
Pay attention to your image, maybe there is something repulsive in it? Women love brutal, smart, athletic and sexy guys who know how to behave correctly and always act confidently. To reduce the risk of falling into the friend zone, use these self-improvement tips:
- exercise to build your strength and stay fit;
- fight uncertainty;
- develop intellectually, no one is attracted to stupid men;
- choose a cool hairstyle that will emphasize your brutality;
- change your wardrobe so that your clothes make you even more sexy and feel good style;
- learn how to behave correctly with the opposite sex.
If earlier you were a simple guy who didn’t play sports, dressed as needed, was embarrassed when meeting girls, and after some time you worked on yourself and turned into a brutal and self-confident man, then your lover’s opinion may change radically.
Decisive action
If you are truly in love, then do not waste time on friendship. Go straight to radical actions. Don’t let a woman mistake you for a friend, don’t lend her a friendly shoulder, don’t pamper her with unnecessary attention.
It’s better to have a frank conversation, during which you admit your feelings. Your further actions will depend on the girl’s reaction. If she doesn't clearly say that she wants to be with you, then stop communicating with her. Don't believe it if a girl says she can't decide on her feelings.
Minimize communication
A good way to get out of a girl's friend zone is to put your relationship with her on hold. Ignore her, stop taking initiative. During the time of separation, a girl can understand that you are dear to her, that it was in vain to keep you in the friendship zone. Then she herself will take measures to restore communication with you.
If during this period no changes occur, the woman will be just as happy without you as with you, then leave everything as it is. Don't get back together with her unless you're ready to be just a friend.
Rational assessment
Assess the situation correctly, don’t wait for years for a girl to decide to consider you as her soul mate. This moment may never come, and you will lose a lot of time that you could spend on creating a new relationship with someone else.
Think about what to do next. If you have the strength to completely reconsider your attitude towards her, to become just her friend, then go ahead. If you understand that friendship only brings suffering, then stop communication completely.
It is very important to know how not to get into a girl’s friend zone, so as not to incur unnecessary worries and waste time. Ideally, you need to dot all the i’s right away.
The exit is always at the same place as the entrance5
A sincere and sensitive chosen one will always notice signs of sympathy and courtship from even an incredibly modest suitor. Question: does a girl need such a modest person? The answer is clear - yes. All people are different, and for some, being modest and smart will be the best reward in their personal life.
Some people can’t imagine their life with a quiet family member and are ready for an adventure with a restless ladies’ man. Experiences, even negative ones, should be perceived as positive. This will help you avoid making similar mistakes in the future.
Learn from your mistakes, develop courageous qualities, masculine flair, and all the lessons and techniques for seducing unconquered beauties will become available to you. You will learn what the friend zone is and how to avoid it in our next article.
conclusions
Knowing what the friend zone is for guys and girls, you can control your relationship with this or that person and easily recognize what status you currently have in his life. Being in the friend zone while having real feelings is very difficult. This can lead to the development of depression, loss of self-esteem and other negative consequences.
If you find yourself in such a situation, try to find a way out of it as quickly as possible. You have three options:
- Change for your loved one and take decisive action.
- Stop communication completely.
- Accept the status of a friend and build new relationships.
At the same time, assess the situation correctly and choose the appropriate solution. In one case, it is better not to communicate at all, and in another, it is better to reconsider your attitude towards your beloved. Each situation is purely individual.
Disappear for a while
You have created a comfort zone for the object of your adoration: humor, self-irony, free gifts, surprises and unconditional help. Limit your presence in his life. Keep romance to a minimum unless there is a reason for it. From time to time, ignore his calls, and then call back yourself and say that you were busy. You will see that there are men around who are worthy of your attention.
Take him to a place where you feel like a fish in water. Let your lover feel like a stranger in a new society. After disappearing for a short time, come to his aid: show romanticism and put him in the best light.
Advice! Find a way to cheer up your lover, feel inspired, then leave. Try to disappear from his life, dissolve, disappear into nowhere. Make him want to see you more often.
