Sincere feelings - how to test a man for the sincerity of his feelings?

Are there sincere feelings in the modern world and how to recognize them? A person acquires various experiences throughout his life. Not always positive and often painful experiences in relationships form “armor” and sincerity to show “like death.” But there are people who, having experienced a lot, have not lost the ability to sincerely express their feelings.

What does sincerity mean?

Sincere feelings are a genuine, natural manifestation of emotions born in a person. The concept of sincerity is based on the word “spark”. A feeling originates as a spark, and immediately manifests itself in the outside world, consistent with the behavior, facial expressions and internal state of a person at the moment of demonstrating a sincere feeling. Sincerity implies:

manifestation of feelings in a “pure”, unveiled form: joy, sadness, anger, anger, envy;
human openness;
honesty;
clarity of thoughts;
sincere attitude not only towards other people, but also towards yourself.

Live up to your own expectations, not other people's

We may feel obligated to meet the expectations that other people have of us, but we should only consider them if they align with our true goals. Each of us knows what we want to get from life. Changing ourselves and living the life that others offer us is dishonest both to them and to ourselves. Set your personal goals for who you want to become, what you want to achieve, and actively work towards it. If you are sincerely happy about the path you have chosen, then you create fertile ground for people who love you to support you. If you are just trying to make others happy, you will end up disappointed because you did not invest in your future.

Psychology of sincerity

The phenomenon of sincerity in psychology is studied by social psychologists. Sincerity is formed in childhood. A small child does not yet fully understand what his parents require or want from him, but he unmistakably distinguishes the emotional state of his mother and father. Expression clearly manifests itself through facial expressions, gestures, and voice intonation. The mother scolds the child, speaks in an angry voice, but he sees that the face is not angry, which means she is swearing “insincerely”, in make-believe. A person’s sincerity can be read through non-verbal manifestations:

symmetrical display of emotions on the right and left sides of the face;
during a conversation, an interested glance towards the interlocutor;
free coordinated gestures.

Don't judge

Almost all of us have judged other people for their choices or actions, but most of these judgments are based on our own insecurities. If we follow our chosen path in life, then it doesn’t matter much to us that someone made a mistake in a relationship or, for example, wears provocative clothes. Other people's choices usually don't detract from our quality of life, so why judge them?

When a person is sincere and in harmony with himself, he can reason about what he likes and dislikes, but is less likely to judge other people when they do things that are not entirely correct from a certain point of view. When we build our lives by adhering to our judgments, we can easily recognize that another person has the right to have a point of view that differs from ours.

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Judgmental tendencies can negatively impact our relationships. Sometimes we spend too much time judging others for their choices, but we don't try to understand why they did a certain thing and accept the desire of others to follow their path.

When we stop judging and simply allow people to be themselves, we have a better chance of creating relationships where everyone can freely express their opinions. Thus, we give this right to ourselves. As long as neither party is causing harm or negatively influencing others, why not learn more about the other person and give them the opportunity to learn more about you.

Sincerity and honesty - the difference

The concepts of “sincerity” and “honesty” are often considered synonymous; they are similar, but not the same. What is the difference between sincerity and honesty?

Sincerity
is an emotional phenomenon expressed in a direct manifestation of feelings that is not analyzed by a person: the emotion originated inside and immediately manifested itself in the outside world.
Honesty
is a moral and social phenomenon, comes from “honor”, “respect”, “honor”. Honest people are generally respected in society. Honesty is related to a person's actions.
Sincerity
is the consistency of speech with external manifestations (congruence).
Honesty
– includes sincerity and truthfulness based on moral values.

Sincere relationships are the path to health

Ecology of health: Each person has an individual therapy scheme, that is, a certain direction in which he is present. Rather, the point is to combine these principles in your consciousness, life, and methodology. Having figured out what each of them is and, as it were, integrating them, you can organize your own personal practice, which, relatively speaking, will be your personal, unique KMS.

The health management system (HMS) is a scientifically based system for restoring health and preventing its disorders in all spheres of life: from physical to spiritual.

Its goal is health and healthy self-realization, and its values are acceptance, honesty, and non-violence.

The main tool of KMS is a sincere exchange of experiences in an open, purposeful dialogue with like-minded people.

When I became acquainted with this Health Management System, I noticed that in its essence it is very consonant with Therapeutic Meaning Fencing (TSF).

This is how the idea arose to find out from the founder and head of the Health Management System School, Dmitry Shamenkov, how body-oriented psychotherapy (BOP) and BMS can enrich each other.

— Dmitry, what do you think: is it possible to try to create such a TOP area based on the control system and on the basis of fencing practices?

— Each person has an individual therapy scheme, that is, a certain direction in which he is present. Rather, the point is to combine these principles in your consciousness, life, and methodology. Having figured out what each of them is and, as it were, integrating them, you can organize your own personal practice, which, relatively speaking, will be your personal, unique KMS.

Moreover, every person does this all the time. At the level of our consciousness, we integrate quite a lot of tools, turning this “set” into a kind of personal therapy. The control system is quite sufficient to create the basis. And then it can be expanded with any other working psychotherapeutic tool.

— On the issue of honesty. In body therapy, the main postulate is: “The body doesn’t lie.” What do you think of it?

— If we talk about bodily reactions, it is difficult to introduce any categories, such as “he’s lying or not lying.” From the point of view of the Theory of Functional Systems (by the way, the abbreviation TFS is surprisingly consonant with your TSF), the concept of accuracy of information transfer, relatively speaking, whether it is true or not, arises only in relation to the goal. There is no absolute truth that can be identified; it is always relative. And in this regard, the approach that “the body doesn’t lie” refers only to a certain situation in which a person or organism finds itself.

For example, a person is driving a car, but before that he took a psychoactive substance and began to hallucinate. The body specifically sends him a signal at this moment in time, he physically feels that he has worms under his hands, preventing him from holding the steering wheel, but in fact they are not there - it turns out that the body can lie. It all depends on what is happening in the human psyche.

From a physiological point of view, goal determines perception. For example, a person approaches his boss with the idea that he is hostile to him. This means that in this contact a person begins to communicate with an initial internal preset that does not correspond to reality. And the body will reflect this attitude, the pre-verbal attitude. In this context, it turns out that the body does not lie, in the broad sense. It, one way or another, reflects some dominant pattern in consciousness. However, it is impossible to extend the idea that the body does not lie to all of reality.

Personal practice has taught me a clear awareness that things can be different. When starting a conversation, I often saw how my barriers interfered with conversational communication. My body seemed to be telling me: “Dmitry,” so to speak, “be careful,” there was something there. But by going inside the dialogue, working through some of my experiences in the dialogue, I managed to significantly change my outlook on life.

And the body responded to this change. At first it said one thing, reacting to my previous view, to the old idea of reality, but in the course of an open dialogue everything turned out to be completely different. Therefore, in the CPS, open dialogue itself has a healing power.

— And any dialogue, like any interaction in living systems, is always built around a goal.

- Certainly. Therefore, the central concept in KMS is the goal. And, given that the goal determines our perception, any form of goal setting based solely on past representation, and not on live dialogue, is called into question in the KMS.

Therefore, healthy dialogue in which we strive to maintain good health becomes much more important to me. By and large, it does not depend on external factors: I take responsibility for my well-being, and in all other respects I am guided by the dialogue process. I strive to better hear the person with whom I interact. The focus of the main SUZ practices is aimed at maximizing your experiences, yourself, expressing them in the best way in a circle of like-minded people and at the same time clearly hearing the interlocutors who entered this dialogue.

In this sense, our system allows us to work through very deep problems, because it is the group field created thanks to these rules of communication that operates. It's like a living organism, like an anthill. For example, the cells that make up the human body are fundamentally equal, and from any cell the entire organism can be reproduced.

This is the deepest equality that is present simultaneously with a certain functional difference of cells, and allows a community created in the same image to have a powerful healing potential. Such mutual support and trust help a person discover and say in himself what he least wanted to voice and hid from others.

- This is already group dynamics. In terfecht the principles are absolutely the same, and we even say: “We are all equal, we are all different.” As you know, during group psychotherapy, psychological resistance often arises in someone. How do you remove it?

- No, because if you fight resistance, it will only strengthen it. And what works here is only the possibility of creating my own internal space of acceptance, the realization that I am dealing with my own projections, and that I am experiencing some kind of violence towards someone, that he supposedly must be somehow unresisting. In this situation, it is my deep acceptance, allowing what is happening to be that helps a person to open up. He feels this trust from within and physically feels the possibility and permissibility of such a disclosure.

During this practice, deep-seated traumas are revealed to such an extent that a person is aware of them that people usually do not talk about it. I don’t know if people reach such depths in psychotherapy, but here they are able to verbalize and directly express their true experience. People express themselves not in images, beating around the bush, but directly and openly, without embarrassment. This allows a person to become himself, that is, to self-actualize, first of all, to become equal to himself. And through this tool of self-actualization, truly realize yourself.

— Can such a sincere expression of experiences, which allows one to get rid of the idealization of oneself and others, be called humility?

- Yes, this is, in essence, humility, if we consider the concept of “humility” as arising from the word “world” and equivalent to the world and oneself in it. This humility is precisely as equality with the world, in a broader context, but not deliverance, not suppression of certain feelings and sensations. Therefore, the purpose of this practice - the expression of experiences - is to become equivalent to yourself, to your goal of healing.

“Healing” from the word “goal” is here in this case. This does not mean getting rid of an experience, because getting rid of an experience in itself is, in one sense or another, a kind of non-recognition of the right of this experience to be. Accordingly, this is a failure to recognize one’s right to be. The experience that we do not allow to be realized in life is, in a sense, a repressed part of ourselves. However, such sincerity arises if I am aware of the purpose of this action.

It is important to realize: sincerity does not arise from correctly spoken words or facts, but from my equivalence in relation to the purpose for which I do it. Otherwise, this will be some kind of attempt to use psychological techniques in order to manipulate reality - what kind of sincerity is there? The meaning is to be as equivalent as possible to oneself in the course of expressing experiences. The health management system is a holistic, integral practice of synchronization with real life.

— In terfecht, much attention is paid to developing the pre-verbal attitude. When there is a negative pre-verbal attitude, let’s say I’m going to a person, but I already have a “stone in my bosom”, then my communication will not work out.

— The inner task that underlies the sincere expression of experiences is to first of all hear the other person before trying to express something to him. Without having an idea of what state, what position the other person is in, without clarifying the pain he has encountered, especially in conflict, I cannot express myself in proportion to this situation.

Therefore, if I speak exact words, as factually as possible, but at the same time follow the intention of proving something, based on the ought that the world should be different, a person should be different, then I will thereby deceive myself and those around me.

I see my mission, if we talk about human consciousness, in directly showing that relationships are the key to health. This is the main thing. But whether a person will understand how he will continue to work on relationships, whether he will understand the meaning of the goal in these relationships, the accuracy of communications - this is a secondary point. Sooner or later, he may reach the understanding in the information space that the goal determines everything.

— Why doesn’t the SPS talk about forgiveness? Forgiveness, from a psychological and spiritual perspective, promotes healing and health.

— In fact, the SLS doesn’t talk about a lot of things, not only about forgiveness. The essence of CPS is, ultimately, simplification. It is not a task to create many words and entities that could be useful if realized after decades of unsuccessful attempts to understand something. SUZ is like the top of a mountain if you look at it from above.

It is clear that the mountain has many parts: the foot and so on. But when you stand on this top, you can see everything. This is a kind of symbol, which with its integrity already helps to achieve a lot. If we talk about the place of forgiveness in the KMS system, then it lies at its core. The ability to forgive itself develops naturally with practice. And there is no need to specifically model it.

In my opinion, formal forgiveness often leads a person astray. Let me explain. Purpose determines the perception and behavior of any living system. Accordingly, if I continue to act in order to manipulate the reality in which I find myself, and use forgiveness for this, then nothing good will come of it.

Practicing the basics allows you to come to forgiveness, but in a natural way. Forgiveness happens completely naturally, sincerely. This suddenly, like a discovery, illuminates a person so that he forgives. This is by no means a forced act when he tries to generate forgiveness for the person he actually hates. This causes internal conflict and does not lead to anything good. There is a certain following of the model: “I am so good, so wonderful - I have forgiven.”

In this sense, I can’t even remember that in my life I have seen people who, through force, truly forgave someone. Formally, yes, they forgive, in the sense that they will not do bad things to others - this happens all the time. But I have not seen true deep forgiveness, so that it arises on purpose, artificially, deliberately. There is no such practice in KMS only for this reason. Surprisingly, it turns out that forgiveness itself lies at the foundation of health management, and a person naturally comes to it by practicing basic steps.

— What do you mean by non-violence, unconditional love and acceptance?

— These concepts are interconnected. For me, nonviolence is the ultimate expression of honesty. The emergence of a certain desire to confront the reality that surrounds me, including my internal problems and experiences, is just a cyclical process that disconnects me from true reality, makes me “inanimate.” For me, non-violence is, first of all, responsibility and awareness of myself and my place in the world in which I find myself.

In order to heal, I need to realize that everything that happens to me is the result of my goals. No one and nothing caused these feelings, experiences and sensations - I myself am their source. This gives me the key to dynamics, to development. This is where acceptance occurs, a place for love opens up, because, by and large, I have no other options for interacting with reality.

I accept the freedom of another person from the position that he does not owe me anything, I accept him whether he agrees with me or not. This is a free movement towards a common goal, in which I do not connect my personal internal state with the behavior or state of another person. Thus, I do not become a dependent person who is forced to manipulate others in order to improve my condition. This kind of free interaction for me is what can be called the word “love”.

These words are emotionally charged, and under them people have many different worldview concepts and beliefs that they absolutely do not want to argue with. In this regard, I am ready to accept any point of view, but I am always interested in the practical result.

A person can tell anything he wants, about unconditional love, acceptance, non-violence - I am able to calmly hear this and accept it as a fact that such reality also happens. But one thing interests me: when a person comes to me and says that he has a problem, then I ask him a simple question: “If you have a problem and you come to me, do you realize that all your knowledge and concepts are not enough to solve your problem? This is important for a person to realize.

You can talk about concepts and certain concepts ad infinitum. But it all starts from the moment a specific common goal arises. Then a real dialogue begins, and some understanding can be reached. Therefore, in essence, in the process of solving each problem, one must always discover a unique concept, a definition of the meaning, rather, the feeling of what nonviolence and the feeling of violence are in order to understand nonviolence; a feeling of acceptance and rejection: to feel, to live through this unpleasant thing, then it becomes clear what pleasant is.

So are the feelings of conditional love, unconditional love and the feeling of unlove. When this is lived and felt, then everything falls into place. And then a person can develop his own unique language, with which he can purposefully convey his experiences to another in certain situations. This is perhaps the most important value that can be expected from such a therapeutic process.

— Is it necessary to make physical efforts to maintain health and good physical shape?

— Here it is worth moving from the word “necessary” to the question “what is health?” If we consider a normally functioning living system, then it cannot interact with the surrounding world without the realization of force, so to speak. And the realization of power, as we know, from the point of view of psychophysiology, occurs completely automatically.

And a person, even with special tools and focused attention, in principle, cannot realize it, because there is a perception delay of about 250 milliseconds... Experiments have directly proven that, one way or another, these reactions, processes are generated first, and then only the person realizes this, “catches up”. And any attempt to use some kind of violence is a limitation of one’s ability to live. Please, you can apply it, but the question is where it leads.

Perhaps one of the most striking examples is the famous ultramarathoner Micah True, who ran an ultramarathon at the age of 58. And, it would seem, by his way of life he showed everyone how important and necessary it is to overcome oneself. But, unfortunately, he died at the age of 58 while jogging in the morning. As is known, physical overload leads to an increased risk of death.

If we consider it from a physiological point of view, the answer to your question is obvious. In fact, in the course of his natural life, when a person is healthy, he happily overcomes difficulties, because their occurrence is a natural part of life that inevitably arises. In addition, a person has a programmed positive reinforcement associated with overcoming difficulties. For example, I may experience very negative feelings when I am hungry.

But if I go, for example, to a restaurant to eat with friends, then I don’t experience any sharp negative feelings. Although the feeling of hunger is one of the most powerful negative feelings. It’s the same with suffocation: it’s one thing for a person who is being strangled, for example, and another thing for a swimmer who deliberately dived somewhere and comes up again. On the way to the surface, he does not experience severe suffocation, although the concentration of oxygen is comparable to the gas concentration of a person who is being suffocated.

He even experiences positive feelings. Therefore, here, when we are talking about effort, violence, the imposition of some actions, I know that we are talking about the substitution of concepts, the substitution of goals. I know that a person’s natural development will not happen if he acts through “I don’t want”, instead of realizing what he really wants, and burning with it, and living with it.

In order for a person to be happy, alive, and healthy, he certainly needs physical activity - it is natural. Moreover, you can simply experiment. Just take an adult man, sexually mature, healthy, and say: “Please sit down for one hour and just sit in one place.” And then see if it’s easy for him to sit still for an hour. It takes a lot of work. Therefore, there is no need to do anything special. Again, life, if you approach it honestly, gives many reasons to do something physically.

— In this regard, please tell us about your physical, bodily practice. It is additional, but still available in the control system.

— I will say this, our practice very clearly reflects the general approach to physical practice in general, as I see it, and shows why we don’t have much of it. I must say that my attitude towards physical practice is deeply positive. I myself am a physically quite active person: I walk a lot, swim - I love to do it. And there is a lot of work in my life. Basically, this is a functional activity: I don’t like activities that don’t lead to results.

For me, the result - a temporary increase in muscle mass or temporary well-being of the body - is only temporary, but I need a long-term result. I absolutely do not believe in any accumulation of muscle mass, I know how harmful it is for the body, for health. I know well how the self-regulation system works. Therefore, I understand that what we do regularly, on an ongoing basis, is laid down and produces results. Hence the approach to the health management system.

Initially it was a simple system. It was formed when I was going through an extremely difficult period in my life. Then my life was completely destroyed: I lost my health, I had a precancerous condition, I was in terrible addiction. My social life was destroyed and I lost my family. By and large, I didn’t belong to myself. I had a lot of problems, debts, and I couldn’t even think about anything.

I did not have the physical ability or strength to do anything: any thought about doing something caused rejection and a desire to kill myself. The condition was very serious. And at that moment I realized that I couldn’t grab hold of everything. I needed something extremely simple, something that I could start with and still do for the rest of my life. I understood that regularity is of fundamental importance.

And then, honestly facing the truth, I realized that the maximum I can do is to be as honest as possible with people, learn to accept them, I can share my experiences, I can remain silent. I realized that this is the maximum that I can do throughout the rest of my life, thus forming a dynamic stereotype in health management. And if I implement this, then, as experience has shown, anything can be strung on top of this rod.

I got out of this state pretty quickly, thanks to this practice and nothing else - I had no other opportunities. Only then did they appear. First of all, I began to feel my body, because prolonged silence contributes to this. At first I didn’t have even an hour for this, so I learned to use every micro-moment of time to recover. I could be somewhere on the road and understand: now I have 15 minutes, and I can tune in with myself.

Instead of thinking about something, getting nervous, stressing out, I learned to synchronize with life in these moments. Ultimately, when I began to practice for a longer time, I began to feel the body’s needs for movement: the need to stretch, somehow warm up, open the chest, actively breathe, stretch. And I began to learn to listen to my body and be attentive to its needs, sensations, and movements.

Thus, the feeling of the body, the conscious movement, this fluidity, the feeling of inclusion in space - were fundamental for me. As a result of this attitude towards ourselves, a variant of ideomotor movement arises, when we listen to internal sensations, the needs of the body, begin to see this image, realize at the level of feelings how to correctly move or move our shoulder forward. And a practice arises that visually resembles oriental “soft” martial arts, such as tai chi, wushu. But I came to this completely intuitively.

In this regard, what you do in therapeutic fencing is for me a new step towards revelation. And, thanks to our dialogue, my understanding of therapy through martial arts in general has expanded a little. Through relationships, through dialogues, I always strive to develop, I address them with joy and openness, because, for example, our dialogue can give me more in terms of practice than any attempts to formally practice something, because you sincerely live it process.

And I realized in this dialogue of ours that the practice of therapeutic fencing itself, in essence, reflects a dialogue on the physical level. This is the same open dialogue that we talked about, but not at the verbal level, but at the physical level. In this sense, I think that unlike high-achievement sports, from some competitive things, there is a common goal here: to learn to hear your opponent, to be proportionate to him and, realizing this common goal - but still a common goal - health in this process - to move in this cycle, groping for these edges.

— Indeed, a therapeutic duel is a dialogue in which it is necessary to see, hear, feel and understand the other, and for each duel a specific goal and task is necessarily set. Otherwise, a person inarticulately enters the fencing dialogue and inarticulately exits it, without a therapeutic result. As you rightly said: “The goal determines everything and allows you to heal, to become equivalent to yourself.”

— I’ll give you one example from my practice. I had a funny episode. My wife was pregnant with our eldest son, already in her eighth month. And I invited her to play table tennis. And she had never really played before. We start playing with her, and the ball keeps flying out of the field. And since she was in position, I was constantly running after the ball. I began to think: what kind of game is this when I’m constantly running?

And then it dawned on me: “Yul, tell me, what is your goal when you hit the ball?” - “I want to score a goal for you.” “Julia,” I say, “look: the goal of playing tennis is not to score a goal, but to have the ball above the table, in the playing space. Then it becomes a game." As soon as I explained this to her, it felt as if the person had been replaced, and in her place appeared at least a second-rate, or maybe even a first-rate tennis player.

We played such a fast game that it was practically impossible to throw the ball away. And there was already a desire to show some harshness or hit hard just because it became interesting. In this metaphor I want to show: is this violence necessary? If we are in dialogue with ourselves, with the world, with other people, even in a duel, and we understand what our common goal is, then we both strive for it.

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If we try to hear the other better, to express ourselves better, starting with simple things: not from grabbing a stick and fighting, but from the stage of feeling, feeling in this dialogue, then gradually we will come to the moment of the highest degree of realization in this martial arts, and accordingly, in everyday life. For me, in this sense, even our dialogue has now become an important discovery and has developed an interest, a desire to study, do something else in this regard, and, perhaps, pay more attention to this aspect of life. For which I am grateful to you.

— Thank you, Dmitry, I was also enriched by our dialogue, and what you said about “therapeutic-semantic” tennis , the same approach is also present in terfecht as a spiritually oriented bodily practice. published

Interview: A. Sigutin

Author: Dmitry Shamenkov

PS And remember, just by changing your consumption, we are changing the world together! © econet

Sincerity - is it needed now?

Sincerity is a character trait, and for people who grew up in a family where any manifestation of feelings was encouraged, it is difficult to restrain themselves emotionally. Such people have a difficult time in society, because sincerity implies the broadcast of both positive and negative emotions. Sincerity is considered a quality of a mature personality, ready to resist ridicule, slander and remain oneself. Sincere feelings will always be in demand because:

A sincere attitude is important for any person, even those who are insincere themselves.
In the family, sincerity is an indicator of trust and mature relationships between spouses;
In the development of a child, sincere emotions and feelings are a necessary element in raising a harmonious personality.

Be willing to take responsibility when necessary

We feel bad when we make mistakes or make poor judgments, but as adults we should be able to handle it. You should not blame someone or circumstances, as this will not help solve the problem or improve the situation. Taking responsibility for our actions strengthens relationships because when we live with integrity, we can see other people's true emotions, testing how they truly feel about us. Admitting that we have made a mistake is an important step towards improving our personality traits.

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Who can trust you if you constantly place blame on others? Accepting responsibility enables other people to behave in their most authentic way. When they see that you are not afraid to accept the consequences of your actions, they will feel more comfortable and more likely to take responsibility if they make a mistake themselves. This helps to form stronger relationships between people who care about each other, because they know that they may make a mistake, but will receive support and a chance to correct the situation without the threat of breaking up the relationship.

How to test a man for the sincerity of his feelings?

What girl or woman does not dream of mutual feelings with her partner? The degree of sincerity on the part of a man is not always clear, since the stronger sex shows any feelings in measured doses, because by nature a man is “supposed” to be restrained. The sincerity of a partner’s feelings can be recognized by the following criteria:

a man’s words do not disagree with his actions and actions;
he likes to take care of the woman he loves;
in difficult times, he sincerely empathizes and tries to reduce the discomfort of his partner;
spending time together is important to him;
gives gifts;
ready to do anything for the sake of his beloved;
jealousy within reasonable limits can also be an indicator of sincere feelings.

What are people afraid of in relationships?

To the basic question of what people are afraid of in relationships, besides those listed about cheating, disappearance, betrayal, the end of an affair and warmth of feelings, the majority said that all this is nothing compared to being single.

Often relationships end quite quickly, because they did not carry any meaning or depth, sometimes implying only short-term sexual overtones. Sometimes this suits both parties. Sometimes it remains just a pleasant flash throughout life and is literally erased into dust when a new object appears.

But sometimes such situations leave deep scars in the souls and hearts of people, forcing them to doubt the sincerity of the words spoken about love and tenderness. Women, as more delicately constructed creatures, suffer more often and more acutely in such situations. It is this fear of loneliness and the unquenchable thirst for love that makes you trust what is said and walk hand in hand with that person who in the future often causes acute unbearable pain.

How to test a woman for the sincerity of her feelings?

Honesty and sincerity are the key to a trusting and successful relationship between a man and a woman. What is sincerity in a relationship, it can be more difficult for the stronger sex to understand whether the beloved is sincere with him or is pretending because of his own selfish goals. Some men, trying to figure this out, go to extremes and begin to watch their girlfriend’s every move. Sincere feelings on the part of the weaker sex are manifested as follows:

the warmth with which a woman communicates with her lover;
she gives her feelings without demanding anything in return;
is sensitive to a man’s flirting with other women;
sees more positive qualities in a man, and accepts shortcomings as they are;
devotes a lot of time to appearance in order to be attractive to him;
is interested with genuine interest in the life of a loved one;
shares both joy and sadness with his partner.

Why is it useful to be sincere?

When we don't share our true thoughts and opinions, we don't give others the chance to get to know us and establish a genuine connection. Sincerity will improve your relationship. You will be able to find more loyal friends, a partner who will respect you for your personal qualities and share their own opinions. You'll build trust and improve your relationship with your family because you won't have to constantly worry about living up to your family's expectations.

Sincerity will help deepen and strengthen your connection with your soulmate and build stronger relationships. Without hiding important facts about your personality, you will be able to fully communicate and find a person with whom you will feel comfortable being with. You will also have the opportunity to improve your relationships at work by being able to speak your mind honestly.

To surround yourself with true friends and people who care about you, try becoming a more genuine person in your relationships with those who deserve it.

How to recognize the sincerity of a friend?

Friendship is, first of all, sincerity, as women believe. The very concept of female friendship is very energy-intensive. Women are vulnerable and emotional creatures and in many aspects they are rather rivals to each other: who is more beautiful, more successful, or who is more popular with men. True, sincere friendship between women is of great value and is a gift that should be cherished. Manifestations of a friend's sincerity:

keeps all secrets and secrets discussed;
she can “cry into her vest”;
respects the interests and moral values of a friend;
sincerely rejoices at successes and is sad when failures follow;
doesn't flirt with her friends' boyfriends;
always appropriately expresses a critical opinion if a positive outcome of the situation depends on it;
understands without words;
knows how to forgive.

Methods

Often the actions of representatives of the fair sex turn out to be illogical, non-standard and very unexpected. Men are less likely to surprise and use tricks to hide their real attitude, so if you approach the analysis with a “cold heart”, after just a few dates you can recognize your partner’s thoughts.

Showing emotions

A loving man thinks about his other half in a special way. His eyes light up, a slight blush appears, embarrassment appears, and upon meeting a genuine smile appears on his face.

When a lady evokes exclusively friendly feelings, the guy remains calm, a little indifferent, often lost in his own thoughts and distracted around.

If you find yourself as a mistress, the chosen one will be pleased, but demanding and persistent when making a date.

Sexual attraction

When a man understands you as a friend, there can be no talk of any “dirty” thoughts. All hints amount to jokes and evasive answers. In the case of his mistress, he does not hide his intentions and openly says that he wants to be in the same bed, since this is his main goal.

If a couple plans to build a long-term relationship and tenderly protects each other, both partners will talk about intimacy and sex with genuine interest, but not with direct, but with leading questions, for fear of offending and scaring away.

Communication with the fair sex

Often friends notice that the most cheerful and sociable friend in the company has begun to pay less attention to them and disappears at home, just like he “fell in love.” A loving person tries to devote maximum time to his chosen one, reducing communication with girls he knows, even if they acted only as friends.

Attitude towards keeping promises

This is one of the main signs that will help you understand how your partner treats you and find out exactly how a man feels. If he promises that he will call back and forgets about it, makes an appointment and can easily cancel it, is late for dates, does not respond to SMS for a long time - he clearly has no desire to start a serious relationship. Even if at first you justify his behavior, thinking that giving gifts and taking him to the cinema means he loves you - this is not so. A caring guy will always take a minute to call back.

Showing persistence and initiative

Someone who feels passion and attraction will persistently arrange a meeting, adapt to your schedule, take into account your wishes, and show flexibility and understanding.

Getting to know your surroundings: friends and family

In the first days of communication, a young man usually hides his chosen one from relatives and friends, and gets angry when he is asked questions about his personal life. He is not yet completely confident in himself and his choice. But, if feelings are supported by trust and the prospect of a serious connection arises, he will definitely introduce his other half to his family and loved ones.

A married companion is unlikely to take you to meet your mother, but he will easily invite you to a group of friends to show off. Think about it, if your loved one is hiding you from your parents, brothers or sisters, perhaps he is lying or embarrassed by you.

Constant contact

You can understand and find out how a guy treats you and what he feels thanks to a modern gadget - if your loved one calls several times a day, immediately switches to you when the second line is busy, finds time during an intense workload for a couple of messages - he is clearly not indifferent. If your SMS messages remain unread and there is no response to them, you may be considered a passing hobby.

Psychologist Daria Milai

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Attention to other ladies

If a man in your presence looks at girls, looks at short skirts and uncovered parts of the body, especially discusses these details in front of you, you should not expect serious steps.

How to understand and determine what he feels for me: participation in affairs and problems

When a young man treats you like just another temporary girlfriend, he is unlikely to intend to listen to problems, take part in solving them, or be interested in the outcome. He will not show interest in hobbies, lavish care and tenderness. A loving guy will always call and ask about your health and mood.

Spending time together

A lover awaits the meeting with trepidation in his soul, is ready to travel from the other end of the city at any time of the day or night, stand for hours and wait for you at the appointed place, appreciates every minute spent together. If a young man easily cancels planned joint events and rarely makes appointments, citing being busy, he is most likely avoiding you.

Interest in personal life

Men often ask questions about their exes, try to find out the details of past relationships, the reason for their end, and react very jealously to the answers. They review the entries on your account pages and carefully study your photos. If a person is not interested in what happened before in your life, perhaps he is indifferent to you.

Present

Sudden surprises, flowers and chocolates for no reason are a clear sign that a representative of the fair sex is not indifferent to you. A person is ready to spend time and money without expecting anything in return. Another way to understand what a man feels for you. The joy of his beloved inspires him, filling him with strength and good mood. You recognize indifference immediately.

Courtship

A lover wants to bring joy to his companion every day - going to the cinema, walking along the evening embankment, bouquets, the desire to give her a ride home or help with everyday life.

Compliments

Signs of attention and tender words must be moderate, objective and truthful. A man should be interested in you, notice new things - your hairstyle. However, if he indiscriminately showers compliments, constantly admires your appearance, likes photos where you didn’t look very good, you should think about his sincerity. Words are the most ambiguous sign of falling in love. If they are not supported by actions, care, help and gifts, you should not believe in their truthfulness.

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How a man treats me: talking about the future

You should be on guard if a guy talks too sweetly about an ideal family, promises the moon from the sky and stars at his feet - most likely, this is just a deception in order to quickly use you and look for another victim. Serious intentions are spoken about carefully and very thoughtfully. The first words about love are spoken hesitantly, with embarrassment, for fear of being misunderstood. A man will not insist on intimacy and rush things.

Does he allow himself to be rude?

Representatives of the stronger sex show their feelings in different ways, but if a boyfriend can push you inappropriately, answer the phone rudely because he is busy or irritated, or say unacceptable offensive things - don’t even count on tender feelings.

How does he react if you don't answer?

If suddenly you did not pick up the phone or ignored the message, a loving person will persistently call and find out the reason for this behavior, will become jealous and childishly offended. Indifferent - will not call back, waiting for a call from you.

Making important decisions

It’s one thing to go on dates, give gifts and say nice things, and another thing to take important steps. Anyone who wants a serious relationship will not delay living together and proposing marriage. If a person realizes that he is ready to support and take care of you under any circumstances, this is a good sign. A guy doesn't want to be with you when he's constantly looking for excuses:

“no place to live”;
"no money";
“the time has not come”;
"I'm not ready for this."

His reaction in extreme situations

A person shows his true colors when you are in trouble or urgently need support and help. Create the appearance of a problem and watch your companion's reaction.

directly

The simplest and most effective way. Of course, you can’t always count on sincerity. A person can lie if it benefits him. Pay attention to intonation and eyes - an averted gaze, calmness and coldness will help reveal deception.

An extreme and risky way is to borrow funds

Lend your companion a certain amount. Such an opportunity will definitely arise - for example, he will forget his wallet or want to make a purchase and share it with you, and perhaps he will ask for money himself. Anyone who wants to win your favor and gain your trust will not come up with excuses and delay returning.

Ask a friend to ask their opinion about you

You can arrange with a close friend so that she can communicate with your chosen one. If he rarely mentions you in a conversation or directly talks about your shortcomings or begins to show interest in her, you will not be taken seriously. However, you shouldn’t rely too much on the objectivity of this option, since the girlfriend may be jealous, lie, or misinterpret the man’s words.

Tell a secret

Come up with a story, an incident from childhood that you carefully hide and share it with your companion under the guise of the strictest secrecy. If in a week everyone around is trumpeting about this incident, the young man has not shown respect and is not suitable for a serious relationship.

Does it make you feel jealous?

Zealous displays are only an attempt to attract attention to oneself. For example, a young man is overwhelmed by ardent feelings, but the girl persistently does not notice this and is not going to reciprocate. Appearing arm in arm with another companion, he wants to show his importance, charisma and relevance to the opposite sex. In theory, the girl should think about the positive qualities of his person and begin to feel sympathy.

The attitude of his friends towards me

Sometimes the feelings of the chosen one helps to understand the behavior of his friends in the company. If they know about his sympathy, they can tease him and joke about it, even if from the outside it looks stupid and offensive. They make ambiguous hints and are able to speak directly about the feelings and intentions of their comrade.

How to develop sincerity?

How to learn sincerity and is it really possible to develop this quality in yourself? Psychologists say that, like any skill, sincerity can be developed through practical actions:

Communication with sincere people
. If you pay attention, such people seem to be surrounded by special energy and charisma; others are drawn to them. An insincere person does not attract such attention.
Reading relevant psychological literature
. It is useful because tasks are given step by step to improve the skill of sincerity.
Getting rid of complexes
. Often indecisiveness, timidity and shyness prevent one from being sincere with others; any step towards sincerity causes painful thoughts about one’s imperfection and the fear of “what will they think of me?”
Openness
. If the environment inspires trust, why not try to open up, show your kindness, warmth and concern even to strangers. This is the only way a person can gain the experience of sincere self-expression.
Working with speech
. Cold intonations in the voice can be signs of insincerity or indifference.

Express your personal opinion when asked

Sometimes it's easier to agree with everyone, but by doing so we do a disservice to both those around us and ourselves. Agreeing to avoid confrontation deprives both parties of honest and effective communication. When you are asked to give your opinion regarding a movie, song, or work issue, try to answer honestly. If you disagree with another person's position, be polite and respectful, but don't be afraid to voice your point of view.

You offer your opinion as an alternative option, rather than trying to argue or attack someone. In most cases, a person will react adequately; he will be interested in listening to you and learning another point of view. This will make your communication more interesting and will give each of you the opportunity to learn and grow.

It is important to note that sincerity must be shown when you are asked to express your opinion. This is not the same as expressing your attitude to any things whenever you want. There is a time and place that is ideal for speaking your mind. Not every person and situation predisposes to this.

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