Being in the friend zone is your choice to be friends with your loved one as a “just friend” without any chance of a romantic reunion. As a rule, a lover finds himself in a very uncomfortable situation, and the object of his attention does not reciprocate his feelings, and in some cases may try in every possible way to keep him near him as a friend for selfish purposes. Let's figure out how hopeless the position of a “simple friend” is in the friend zone, why people end up in it, and whether there is a way out of the “friend zone.”
Friend zone guy - girl
Many people confuse the concepts of “friendship” and “friend zone”, and these are two different types of relationships. If true friendship consists of purely friendly relationships without any romantic feelings, then in the case of the friend zone, someone always suffers from unrequited love.
What is a friend zone? This is a special type of friendship between representatives of the opposite sex, in which one is in love with the other and is sure that the friendship will sooner or later develop into a love relationship, but the other does not even think about it. Both participants in this process find themselves hostage to the situation: one is trying in every possible way to achieve reciprocal love, and the other is trying to avoid persistent courtship and at the same time remain friends.
How many years can you stay friends?
The friend zone is something that cannot be tracked. There is a very fine line between just nascent relationships, attempts to get to know each other better without rushing things, and one partner clearly realizing that he cannot offer more than friendship.
The most destructive and frightening thing about this kind of relationship is that they do not have a specific time frame. You can stay in the friend zone for as many years as it takes until the “loving party” finally decides for itself that this can no longer continue.
Insight can happen in a month, a year, two or even decades. This may be a sudden understanding of the whole situation and a decision to end this type of relationship. Or the person will simply get tired of “fighting.”
There have been cases when a girl or guy, already having their own family, is still in a codependent relationship with another person. At the same time, he lives, waiting for the “green light”, the right moment to leave the friend zone.
What is the friend zone for guys in relationships?
Guys extremely rarely allow girls to join the ranks of their friends without seeing sexual overtones in such relationships. But there are always exceptions, which is why guys also have girlfriends, some of whom may be in love with him and are hoping for a romantic reunion with the object of their affections.
There are often cases when guys friend-zone a girl who is in love with them for the purpose of irregular intimate relationships from time to time. At the same time, the guy takes it for granted, and the girl suffers and still hopes to move to a new level of relationship.
Who should be considered a friend immediately after meeting?9
Almost from the very beginning, it becomes clear whether there is attraction between people, or whether the relationship can result in a strong friendship. In order not to be disappointed and not to allow a man or woman you know to push you around, you should immediately classify as a friend someone who meets the following criteria:
- 2-3 dates have passed, no attraction has arisen, but people communicate well and they have common topics of conversation;
- there was one sex, after which intimacy no longer occurs, but meetings still bring pleasure;
- one of the partners openly declares that he does not want a relationship.
The friend zone is not friendship, but a very specific relationship where one knows exactly what he feels, and the other only hopes for something more. It is better to leave such a relationship as soon as possible, without waiting for disappointment.
The worst thing in such a situation is most often that a person allows himself to be deceived, consoled by the fact that his partner is showing, even if small, signs of attention.
How to tell if a guy is in the friend zone
If a girl puts a guy in one of the following categories, it's safe to call him a "just friend" from the friend zone:
- Someone who doesn't need to be liked . The girl doesn’t think about her outfit, doesn’t pay attention to her speech and manners, and shares the details of her life, often intimate ones, without restrictions. In a word, he does things that are at least embarrassing to do in front of strangers.
- Someone you can ask for anything without any problems. The girl will definitely not allow the young man she likes to see her in a “broken” state, but she can send her friend to the pharmacy for pills.
- Someone you can sit on someone's ears. A girl, without hesitation, will tell “just a friend” about problems in her personal life, pour out her soul to him, but he has nowhere to go - he will listen to everything.
Friendship is a priority
Situation: A wonderful relationship can develop between you and a guy, in which there is everything that true love is built on, but for some reason the guy still does not take the first step towards romantic intimacy between you. This may indicate not only a lack of chemistry, but also the quality of the friendships you share. Perhaps this guy values what you have between you so much that he is afraid of losing the friendship if the romantic relationship does not turn out to be successful. He doesn’t take risks, he carefully keeps the girl in his friend zone. It's nice, but also disappointing at the same time.
What to do: Think about whether you really want to be in a relationship with this person. If the answer is yes, then talk to him, together you can decide whether it is worth the risk, because in the end you may gain much more than you have, and even if it does not work out, a strong friendship must endure everything, otherwise your relationship is not worth it such experiences. If the guy lacks confidence that everything will work out with you, then perhaps it’s better for you to give up trying to be his girlfriend and find it in someone else. At the end of the day, if you know what you want, go for it instead of waiting for someone to finally give you a chance.
How do guys get into the friend zone?
When a guy falls into the friend zone, he is greatly mistaken, thinking that no one knows about his real feelings for a girl. Believe me, everyone sees and everyone knows, including the girl herself.
What pushes a girl to friendzone a guy?
There are three reasons for this:
- Taking advantage of the kindness of a guy in love . This is easy to check: as soon as the guy stops indulging the girl and sacrificing himself, her friendly attitude will disappear.
- Considering a guy as a backup option . This is perhaps the most humiliating reason. It can be checked this way: a girl easily switches to “just a friend” when her next passion disappears, and as soon as a new love object appears, the guy again switches to the “friend” category.
- The presence of a girl's friendly sympathy for a guy . It happens that a girl really likes a guy: either as a friend or as a boyfriend. But she has a lover. By putting a guy in the friend zone, she simply wants to maintain communication with him.
Male solidarity
Situation: Romantic relationships are unpredictable, and you never know for sure which person will be your ideal partner. You've probably heard similar stories from your friends, and they all ended with a happy ending. But still, the fact that you had something in common with a friend or even the best friend of the guy you are now attracted to may be a completely natural reason to keep you in the friend zone.
First, the new partner may be feeling competitive, and the fact that you chose him over him may not be as flattering as you think. Secondly, he may know too much about you and your style of behavior with a man. Thirdly, male solidarity is not a myth, and perhaps your ex-partner's friend considers it his duty to resist the temptation to be with you.
What to do: If you are really attracted to this guy, and you think that you could have a fulfilling relationship that did not work out with his friend, then first of all you need to discuss this with a potential partner. Maybe he is keeping you at a distance because he does not know your intentions and is not sure about starting such a relationship. Having put everything in its place, you both can figure out what is the right thing to do, because little can stand in the way of two people who passionately want to be together. If not, then you should respect the guy's decision to stay where you are now.
Signs of a friend zone for a guy
There are eight signs of a friend zone:
- The girl has no problem discussing her friends, or even potential suitors, with you.
- She often calls you a good friend or a great boyfriend.
- A kiss between you can only be on the cheek.
- You often become her “tear vest.”
- She is in no hurry to introduce you to her girlfriends, but she eagerly gets to know your friends.
- She always calls you when she needs help. At the same time, he rarely responds to your cry for help.
- Her gaze often stops at the guys around her.
- You have never talked about the relationship between you.
What not to do
The biggest mistake that can happen is sex as a friend. In general, if you yourself are not planning a continuation, then why not, but if you have deep feelings for him and in this way you are trying to achieve reciprocity, then this is a dead end option. It will be very convenient for a guy to have all the benefits of a boyfriend without actually being one and keeping you in the friend zone.
A girl who doesn’t value herself can hardly count on respect from a guy, so if your goal is not a short romance, but a strong connection, you shouldn’t allow him too much. Besides, why would he propose a relationship to a girl if she already agrees to everything?
How to get a guy out of the friend zone
If a guy wants to get out of the friend zone, he needs to stop being a good “friend” and pay attention to himself.
To do this you need to accept two things:
- Availability is off-putting. If a guy is at a girl’s beck and call, constantly indulges her and runs at the first call, he will never look like a potential groom in her eyes. For sympathy to appear, a guy needs to exclude the concept of benefit in a relationship, show that he is an individual with his own interests and views on life.
- Low self-esteem “kills” a man’s charm . A guy in the friend zone feels humiliated, he suffers and this makes him uninteresting. To break this vicious circle, you need to increase your self-esteem. This is facilitated by communication with the opposite sex, for example, innocent flirting for a moment or a short affair.
The video will give you tips on how to proceed and finally get rid of the “friend” status:
"Bad" character
Situation: Your partner may experience physical and emotional attraction to you, serious passions and great sex may even flare up between you, but you never have a serious relationship. Why? Because your partner either believes that your character does not match the character of the girl with whom he would like to enter into a relationship, or you are acting too “friendly”.
In other words, you may be the most attractive girl he's ever met, but he feels the same way around you as he does around his guy friends.
This happens when a girl tries too hard to please a guy and tries to create the most comfortable atmosphere for him: she shares his “masculine” interests with unnatural enthusiasm, tries to be something she is not, or actually has character traits that are most often possessed exactly the guys.
What to do: If you realize that your behavior is a sincere manifestation of nature, then you should not feel “unattractive” next to a person who simply likes a different personality type. Don't try to leave his friend zone. Stay friends, because having a good time and feeling comfortable with another person is always nice. You deserve more, and you shouldn’t change yourself to suit someone else’s preferences. But if you do notice yourself being overly friendly towards the partner you are attracted to, think about why you are doing this, talk to him, find out at what points each of you ceases to be comfortable, and change your behavior to something more characteristic of you - the girl he was attracted to.
What is the friend zone for girls in relationships?
The friend zone for girls is the territory of inferior friendships with a guy. A guy in love takes care of the lady of his heart in every possible way and lives with the dream of being reunited with her. And the girl perceives him, at best, as a friend, at worst, as a backup option or an object for manipulation and achieving personal gain. In this case, the girl can have a relationship with another guy.
It is noteworthy that girls perceive the friend zone as a way to increase their self-esteem and always have support and friendly help. At the same time, they are friendly towards the guys in the friend zone and try to really be “friends” with them. At the same time, guys are haunted by the idea of winning or “breaking” their beloved girl, and sometimes they even think about self-affirmation and revenge in case of defeat.
Fear of Commitment
Situation: The classic scenario for a guy who keeps you in the friend zone is the realization that he is not ready for a commitment that involves a closer relationship than the one you are in now. He has many unresolved questions, he is in a difficult life situation, or he simply does not know what he wants at the moment.
In such a situation, it is much easier for him to be your friend than your lover.
What to do: If you're attracted to a guy who can't think of romance because he's trying to solve his problems or is reliving old wounds, then you can give him support and attention, but this will only solidify your status as a girlfriend. Yes, such scenarios often end the relationship, but unless you plan to wait for him for an indefinite amount of time, then it is better to give him time to figure things out on his own.
Why does a girl keep her in the friend zone?
Guys often wonder why a girl puts them in the friend zone. In fact, the answer is simple: the girl is so comfortable! Agree, it is very convenient to have the strong shoulder of a friend nearby, who will never refuse help, will come running as soon as he is called and will not even mention his desires and feelings. And the saddest thing is that the girl thinks that since she agreed to be friends with the guy (knowing that he is in love with her), it means she has done him an invaluable favor.
And even if a girl does not use her friend for personal gain, the friend zone still remains a territory for seeking benefits. After all, no matter what, someone will need to cry or there will be no one to go to the cinema with, but here a friend is at your side - waiting and never letting you down.
The question remains open whether the girl keeps the guy in the friend zone on purpose or not. If yes, then all signs of attention and recognition from the guy will go unnoticed. The girl will pretend that she does not notice her friend’s feelings and live the way that is convenient for her. If not, most likely the guy got into the friend zone quite recently and has not yet become the most loyal and convenient “just friend.” But it's a matter of time.
Hidden friend zone - what kind of animal is this and why is it dangerous?4
For guys who are honestly and sincerely in love with a girl, the most dangerous option is the hidden friend zone. A lady can quite consciously play with a guy, doing whatever comes to her mind, tricking him into expensive gifts, trips, paying for an apartment and many other things.
In turn, a man who has not directly heard the word “no” can fulfill all requests for a very long time, spinning around the lady until he understands that this is just a game. However, this can last for a very long time. A conflict invariably arises between a man and a woman when he still wants to get what he wants.
Such relationships, when a girl deliberately plays with a guy, are doomed to failure in advance; nothing good can come out of them.
How to avoid being friendzoned by a girl
To avoid getting into the friend zone from the first meeting, follow the instructions:
- Be strong and confident.
- Demonstrate to her in every possible way that you are in demand.
- Be a little brutal, but don't show off.
- Don't make fun of yourself.
- Show your unavailability.
- Don't talk about her exes and don't have any heart-to-heart conversations.
- Flirt with the girl constantly.
In the video, the author will tell you in detail how to avoid the friend zone and get out of it if you find yourself in the ranks of friends:
There is a way out5
There is always a way out of any situation. The most ideal thing is to pump yourself up. You should not wait for the girl to change, when she sees and realizes his super-ness. We need to show her that a man is capable of changing, that he has become different. This takes time and effort.
Ideal pumping plan:
- Reduce communication or stop it altogether. Depending on the relationship, you should choose the one that is most suitable for the specific situation. If it is possible to completely stop seeing the object of desire, that’s good. If not, we reduce it to the minimum, without showing any initiative on our part.
- They stopped seeing each other, but did not stop making themselves known. You should surprise your chosen one and show that you are not fixated on her and have not stopped. You need to make new acquaintances with girls and actively post photos on social networks from your vacation.
- It will be great to acquire new interests and hobbies. It is desirable that it be an active holiday, extreme, with a lot of impressions. This will give both the young man the opportunity to unwind and the girl to see what she is losing.
- Engage in self-development. Invest in yourself. Go in for sports, develop your hobby into a business.
Such changes in a man will 100% add a sexual brand to him. And the woman will pay attention to him herself. If this does not happen, the man must prove himself to be a real male. Make a date and show a new side of yourself. But you need to behave with a girl no longer as a friend, but as a chosen one. There is no need to remember your previous relationship during a date. She will definitely appreciate this upgrade.
It is important to understand that the man ended up in the friend zone not because he is so good, but she does not understand anything. It’s just the opposite - he doesn’t understand what she wants to see in a man. If the friendship has been for a long time, then it would be possible to study the tastes of your chosen one and acquire these qualities.
If the “friendship” did not last long, any changes for the better will make you pay attention and surprise you with positive dynamics. In any case, it is necessary to show the maximum number of “manly” qualities so that the girl appreciates not a friend, but a full-fledged partner.
