I have no strength to live. How to cope with lack of strength?

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How to live on if you have no strength
What effect can you expect from psychotherapy or medications if you have no strength to live?
What conditions or diseases are hidden behind apathy and anxiety? Depression
Fears and phobias
Panic disorder, panic attacks
Generalized anxiety disorder

How to live on if you have no strength

What do people mean when they say they “ don’t have the strength to live ”?
This expression describes a whole complex of states. These may include loss of aspirations and desires, insensitivity and indifference, loss of interest in activities and things that were previously important to the person, and a significant limitation of social contacts. “No strength to live” may also imply decreased interest in professional activities, reluctance to perform routine duties, a state of chronic fatigue that does not disappear even after a long rest, absence or sharp decrease in appetite, slowness of physical and mental reactions, depressed mood, slurred, blurry speech, lack of initiative, impaired concentration.

A state of apathy, exhaustion, anxiety, a feeling that there is no strength to live, can arise as a result of severe overwork or be a reaction to severe stress. If a person was stressed for a long time, did not rest and ignored the needs of his body, he risks wasting all his strength.

The state of loss of strength may occur for a short time and go away after a few days of rest. In this case, we can say that the human body still has a lot of strength for self-regulation and recovery.

Difficulties arise when you cannot get out of a painful state on your own. When depressed, apathetic, or anxious, a person has little strength, and they disappear very quickly. It is believed that if this condition does not go away for two weeks or more, then it is very important to visit a specialist. A psychologist and non-medical psychotherapist can help figure out what exactly is taking so much energy out of a person and cope with psychological problems.

Unfortunately, unfounded beliefs in the benefits of “positive thinking” push people to ignore what is happening to them. Often people try to change their condition with alcohol or drugs, which gives immediate relief, but in the long term can deepen the painful condition.

What effect can you expect from psychotherapy or medications if you have no strength to live?

Psychotherapy can help eliminate the very cause of the painful condition. It may take time to study how a person “gets” into an exhausted state, what exactly weakens him, how tension is created and accumulated.

With the help of psychotherapy, a person can realize how he “creates” his problem, how he himself, without realizing it, maintains his painful state, what he can do to change the current order of things.

With a psychologist, a person will figure out how his problem can be resolved or significantly alleviated, and he will learn to independently cope with the state when “there is no strength to live.”

In situations of an extremely acute condition, when a person has endured for a very long time and “did not notice” his condition, he usually delays receiving psychological support. And then, first of all, you have to contact a doctor in order for psychotherapy to become possible at all.

Psychotherapy and psychiatry can work successfully together rather than in opposition to each other. Tablets prescribed by a doctor can help alleviate a person’s condition and keep him in a stable condition so that he can live normally and not lose social adaptation.

However, medications cannot replace psychological and psychotherapeutic assistance. They will not eliminate the cause of psychological problems. Taking medications, the person himself and his way of thinking will not change.

If, for example, you only take pills, but do not change anything in your ways of interacting with the world, then when you stop taking the drugs, the old state may reappear.

The person will return to the usual way of contact with the world and people around him.

But it was precisely this method that “led” him to that very difficult state when he had no strength to live. Therefore, only awareness of your behavior patterns and changing them can help you feel better without medications.

Where can I get the strength to move on?

Good afternoon. I live in Moscow. It so happened that all my life, despite difficulties, I found the strength to move on. As a child, my father beat me, and there was also very strong psychological pressure. I felt bad, nevertheless I graduated from school with a gold medal and entered Moscow State University on a budget. I remember how one day he hit me on the head, all the vessels in my eyes burst and one eye was blue, but I just pulled my cap to the side and went to take an exam at the economics and mathematics school at Moscow State University, I passed the exam.

Then I married, at the age of 20, an Italian. I loved him very much, I waited 4 years for marriage. Maybe because of my character, maybe because of my husband’s character, our life together didn’t work out very well. I was very unhappy. He never asked for my hand and we somehow stupidly agreed on this in the library in Milan. He never gave me money or any gifts, he also raised his hand, but much less than my father. I was never really interested in what I do or what I like. I felt very lonely and unloved. Nevertheless, life went on, I studied at the Faculty of Mechanics and Mathematics at Moscow State University and graduated from the university.

Then it became more and more difficult. Some kind of crisis hit me. I understood that it was necessary to move on, but failure followed one after another. At first I tried to enroll in a graduate school related to oil (viscous liquid is my specialty), but they asked for a huge bribe. Then I applied to another graduate school, but didn’t get in. I also wanted to go to Italy, but my husband didn’t want to and said that now there was a crisis in Europe and not the best time to return. He didn't work, sat on his bed and played poker on the computer. I taught. So a year passed.

Then I woke up and decided to go to university, to NES. I prepared and entered. By that time, life with my husband had become unbearable, I understood that it was urgently time for me to change something. I threw myself into my studies and tried to find someone new. I found him, moved in with him, but it so happened that I was expelled. This person has a green card and after two years he must return to the United States. And I decided to hammer this university in a new way.

I thought that if I decided to do this, he would wait for me here for one year. But he is not ready for this. As soon as he said this, I also felt unwanted, helpless and useless.

Constant failures in school over the last two years and in my personal life are simply knocking me down. I am looking for strength in myself to move on - and I continue to study in order to return to NES, but I feel very bad. I feel like some internal forces have begun to leave me.

I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I don’t want anything, I can’t do anything. Basically, I just want to lie down on the bed, fall asleep, and never wake up again. I have already attempted suicide once, but few people know about it. One of my friends saved me.

I know that my problems are not the most serious in life. I know that there are thousands of people who have it much worse. I just completely lost my strength. I no longer have the strength to get up and move on. I'm looking for them, I'm trying, but I feel very, very bad.

Where can I get the strength to live on?! (2 answers)

What conditions or diseases are hidden behind apathy and anxiety?

A state of exhaustion and apathy may be a sign of certain somatic processes - for example, decreased immunity, certain metabolic diseases, spinal problems, cardiovascular diseases, kidney diseases, infections. If your state of apathy lasts long enough, this may be a symptom of some kind of disease, and it would be useful to first undergo a medical examination or take the necessary blood tests first.

But let's say you rule out somatic diseases. Then it will be important to figure out when you don’t have the strength to live - psychological help will be enough for you, or you need to additionally consult a psychiatrist.

Depression

If a person has a low mood, apathy, fatigue for more than 2 weeks, everything is difficult, and there is no strength to live - this may be a manifestation of depression.

Depression is one of the affective disorders. A psychologist and non-medical psychotherapist will help you understand the characteristics of a person’s character that affect the occurrence of depression and change them.

Also read about possible causes of depression HERE

If the painful condition lasts longer than two months, a person cannot perform his usual activities, take care of himself, work, sleep, appetite is impaired, thinking slows down, social contacts are minimized, suicidal thoughts appear, in extreme cases - a person lies with his face turned to the wall, then You should definitely consult a doctor. With medication support, psychotherapy for depression is most effective.

Fears and phobias

Sometimes a person experiences panicky, will-paralyzing fear that arises in a strictly defined situation when there is no objective reason for fear. A person is afraid, despite the fact that he understands the meaninglessness of his fears. He simply does not have the strength to cope with his fears on his own. This is how phobias manifest themselves.

The range of these disorders is very diverse. Agoraphobia is the fear of open spaces. Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. Social phobia is the fear of public places and public speaking. Aerophobia is the fear of flying in an airplane.

There are also more exotic ones: arachnophobia (fear of spiders), coulrophobia (fear of clowns) and many others. And if you can somehow live with coulrophobia, then social phobia in its most pronounced form practically turns a person into a disabled person. He completely falls out of society: going to a crowded place, to a store, to a clinic becomes an insurmountable obstacle for him.

Psychologists of various psychotherapeutic directions effectively work with fears and phobias.

Panic disorder, panic attacks

This is an extremely unpleasant condition, somewhat reminiscent of phobias, when suddenly and for no reason a panic fear of death, madness, anxiety, a feeling of interruptions in the heart, lack of air, etc. develops.

Another difficulty is that people with panic disorder can be treated for years by a cardiologist or therapist. But their treatment has a short-term and weak effect, because the disease is based on mental problems. When dealing with panic attacks, working with a psychologist is often enough.

However, if a person has been lying at home for a couple of months, he does not have the strength to live, he does not go out at all, because he cannot cope with panic, then it is worth seeing a doctor. The doctor will prescribe a course of maintenance medications. They will stabilize the condition and make it possible to begin psychotherapy.

Generalized anxiety disorder

Most often it manifests itself in middle-aged and older women. Any reason, conversation, thought can lead to anxiety, fear, catastrophic fantasies. These fears are very exhausting and lead to the fact that a person does not have the strength to live.

Typically, such patients complain of problems with blood pressure, heart, and digestive organs, that is, somatic complaints. They go with these complaints to a neurologist, therapist, cardiologist.

However, in the case of an anxiety disorder, high blood pressure may be a consequence of high levels of adrenaline in the blood, which is produced in response to anxiety, depression and fear, which the person himself is not aware of, but is nevertheless present.

A psychologist will help you understand what character traits influence the occurrence of depression, anxiety, fear and help you change your usual patterns of reaction and behavior, and learn to satisfy your needs in other ways.

It happens that a person turned to a psychologist without expecting that he would benefit from the help of a psychiatrist. If a psychologist notices that in the process of psychotherapy, numerous fears and phobias, a feeling of persecution, do not decrease, disturbance and inconsistency are discovered, fragmentary thinking, fixation on fears, emptiness in the head, he will advise you to consult a psychiatrist. If necessary, the doctor will prescribe appropriate treatment.

As a rule, antidepressants are the basis for the treatment of the above diseases. Modern antidepressants, when chosen correctly, correctly prescribed dose and carefully taken, are not addictive and do not impair thinking. They are much safer than alcohol and drugs. And if, along with drug treatment, a person undergoes a course of regular psychotherapy, he gets a result that remains with him for life even after stopping antidepressants.

In the most difficult cases, a person cannot realize his condition himself. Then his family no longer has the strength to live with him. And relatives, having noticed changes in a person, can invite him to visit a doctor and provide him with all possible support in this.

If you feel that you have no strength to live, you can get professional support from a psychologist.
I will help you figure out what causes your condition. See what features of your character can influence the occurrence of depression, anxiety or fear, and what ways you can support yourself to feel better.
We will clarify with you what habitual contact with the world and the people around you “led” you to a difficult state when you have no strength to live. Awareness of your behavior patterns, where and on what you spend your energy, what internal processes underlie this energy expenditure, changing them, new experiences, recognizing and satisfying your needs will help you feel better.

Loss of purpose and disgust. Fighting severe burnout

If your burnout is already at the stage of loss of purpose/cynicism or depression/disgust, intensive tools are needed to limit energy expenditure on anything that does not help you recover. The most important thing is to overcome the inner feeling “if I start devoting time to something other than work, everything will collapse.” This is difficult to do. But burnout is already robbing you of your health and happiness—and if you do nothing, it will only get worse. The symptoms of burnout are similar to the symptoms of depression, and many experts even believe that they are the same thing. Treat the problem as seriously as you would treat a mental illness.

Step 1: Get out of stress

Burnout is the result of overwhelming chronic stress. There is stress—the tension we feel. And there is a stressor - something that causes this reaction. Each of them needs to be worked on separately. Until we have come out of the stress reaction, we have too little energy to study its causes and eliminate them. Therefore, you first need to reduce the severity of stress and increase the amount of resources. And only then move on to the stressor.

Living emotions.

What emotion is associated with stress: irritation, despair, anger, something else? It happens that inside you there is a ban on this or that feeling, because it seems wrong and destructive (this often happens with anger) or meaningless (“What’s the point of being sad? And anyway, my feelings are not that important”). Then it may be difficult not only to express, but even to recognize the emotion. Here is a technique that will help you recognize that very feeling. Afterwards, it needs to be thrown out in an environmentally friendly way - that is, without any address and in a safe environment. Anger can be expressed by tearing paper into small pieces. Or go into the forest and loudly swear, stomp your feet and scream. If you feel sad, but you can’t live through it, turn on sad music or a sad movie, call a friend and cry with him. You can also try: theater courses or trainings based on gaming philosophy, embodiment yoga or Ecstatic Dance to explore yourself through movements. These bodily activities, with a focus on self-discovery, help us connect with our senses when our minds disconnect us from them.

Release of the body.

Stress is necessary for us to do something: run away from a predator or fight with it. To complete the stress response, you need to let your body know: you escaped or won. Otherwise, the body will still be in anticipation of a threat and produce stress hormones. Sport is the easiest way to do this. Training mimics the fight-or-flight response, and by ending it, we end stress. You can go for a run or dance, the main thing is to move quickly and intensely.

Relaxation with breathing.

Another option is breathing using the Breathing Zone app. Breathing can be done according to the 4-7-8 pattern (inhale-pause-exhale count), when the exhalation is twice as long as the inhalation. Singing is an alternative. In the process, you will have to lengthen your inhalation and exhale long - this is exactly what is needed to activate the parasympathetic nervous system and calm down.

Attention management.

The Pomodoro method is work lasting 25-50 minutes, then a short pause. In this mode, you will be able to work focusedly throughout the working day (this is especially difficult if you are burnt out). Use a timer app for your smartphone or the desktop version.

What to do during a short break? 12 ideas

Put on headphones, turn on music, a podcast or audiobooks and take a walk around the house.
Go out onto the balcony, breathe in the air and look at the sky or another natural object.
Meditate or do breathing practice. An alternative is “neuron massage” in the Norbu app.
Dance or just jump to the music. Stretching exercises will also come in handy. This stimulates the production of endorphins and makes you less sensitive to any discomfort at work.
Be in darkness, silence and loneliness if there was a lot of communication during the day. You can take a shower or even lie in the bath.
Do local cleaning. For example, a desktop.
Turn on your favorite song and sing along. Or play musical instruments.
Draw the view outside the window or make something out of plasticine.
Place turrets and stone figures on the table.
Take care of plants in the garden or indoors: water, spray, replant, prune.
Talk to someone significant. Call a friend you haven't seen for a long time, or your beloved grandmother.
Think about what's important. For example, about your motivation in your current case. Why is what you do important to you?

Energy planning.

Write a list of tasks for tomorrow and rate the energy consumption for each on a scale from 1 to 10. For example, answering a letter in detail is 2, and speaking in front of colleagues is 8. Rate on a scale from 1 to 10 how much energy you have now. If there is less than you need to complete all tasks, you can increase the amount: relieve stress with a workout or breathing exercise, eat and sleep, do something that inspires you. The alternative is to reduce the number of tasks (delegate, postpone to another day) or reduce their complexity.

Making work tasks easier.

All tasks should be simple and feasible, otherwise burnout will increase. Add a separate task to your schedule: adapt tomorrow's tasks to your current level of strength. To do this, break large tasks into small steps. Imagine delegating them to a less experienced person or team. How would you formulate the task for them, what stages and details would you mention?

Step 2: Develop awareness

Practicing mindfulness is essential to preventing and recovering from burnout. Often a person burns out because he takes the results of his work too seriously. Mindfulness helps to expand the boundaries of perception and separate yourself from your emotions and thoughts - everything that happens in the field of consciousness.

Additionally, burnout is a result of chronic stress. And the practice of mindfulness, according to research, teaches us to control our emotions and reduces stress levels. This is how deep mind founder Max Timofeev

. Regular formal and informal mindfulness practice helps us better understand our current state, including how our body feels. The more developed this skill is, the better we understand how different activities and our reactions affect us - and we can protect ourselves from harmful ones. By being aware of our body and our condition, we also release accumulated stress reactions and emotions. And we do this not through external tools, but through internal skills.

When you are feeling burnt out, you should choose a comfortable mindfulness practice to help you relax and gain insight rather than stress. If you haven't meditated regularly before, start with a simple practice focusing on your breathing .

If it's difficult to meditate with written instructions, try audio-guided meditation. There are many good applications in English (Insight Timer, for example). In Russian, it’s worth taking a closer look at special practices to combat burnout

from deep mind. The technique is aimed at working through unpleasant emotions that we tend to accumulate under stress.

If you already meditate, add some time to your current practice, do your usual practice in a new environment (in the park, not at home) - or learn a new practice altogether. Take a closer look at practicing self-care and acceptance

to develop the skill of self-care or to the motor practice
of free movement
for a more complete experience of emotions (especially good for those who find it difficult to do still meditation).

At first it will be difficult to connect with the body: when we burn out, we feel bad about it, otherwise we would have stopped and rested a long time ago. It can also be difficult to concentrate on positive emotions: joy, happiness, peace. If you get distracted, don’t scold yourself, but support yourself: “Hurray, I noticed that my thoughts have flown away, now I can return to practice.” For this case, the noting

: As you practice, at a comfortable pace (every 3, 5, or 10 seconds, for example), name what you see, hear, or feel. It can be something material (I see a room, hear a sound outside the window, feel the pressure of a clothing seam) or something intangible (I see images, hear thoughts, feel joy).

Step 3: Address the cause of your stress

Now you can move on to the stressor. What causes the very situation of chronic stress at work that leads to burnout? Identifying a stressor and limiting its influence is not always easy, so at Deva.School we use the following algorithm for this.

Take a piece of paper and write down specific problems. First, you can outline the event in general terms, then highlight the details: how you feel and in response to what events. This will help you identify your stress trigger. Then you can act in two ways: remove the stressor or change your attitude towards it so that it does not cause so much stress. Here's what it might look like.

You worry that you're not doing your job well enough.
Because of this, you wake up at night thinking about how to improve the case. Then you need to formulate what it means to you to do your job well, what criteria you set for yourself. We look at the list and compare it with reality. Can one person do it all—or does it take a whole team? If there are too many tasks, changing your attitude towards them will not help much. We need to figure out how to reduce them. Think about what you can delegate to team members, find out how others solve the same problems.
You feel uncomfortable working with your boss.
After talking with him, you feel exhausted, and his way of formulating tasks is annoying. Think: do you want to change jobs? If so, make a detailed plan on how to do it. It may turn out that changing jobs requires too many resources. Or that working conditions in other companies are no better. Then it’s worth changing your attitude towards your boss (as much as possible) and including in your schedule actions that make you more resistant to stress before and after talking with him. Don't forget: you are not a victim. You have a choice - to change the situation or attitude towards it. The feeling that you have no influence on anything is dangerous: it leads to burnout.

Step 4. Return to yourself: your goals, values and priorities

All of us, including myself, tend to run away to work when we don’t want to worry about something or when we need to prove to ourselves our worth, which has been shaken in personal relationships. Therefore, in parallel with reducing the level of stress and the number of irritants, I recommend thinking about what kind of relationship you have with yourself and others - and how to make them more comfortable.

First, remember what values are most important to you. What did you want when you started a business that made you burn out? What result did you want to get? It's unlikely that you intended to burn yourself out. Perhaps you wanted to make a contribution to the world? How else can you do this without having to burn out in the process?

Exercise “Inner Compass”

It will help you remember your values and goals, which you have slightly forgotten in the pursuit of high results at work, and re-gain an understanding of which direction to move.

Think about five books or movies that have had the greatest impact on you. Why are they so important to you? Write five theses that answer this question.
Which five people have influenced you the most? And again - five theses why these people became special to you.
What do you value in people? Top 5 important qualities.
What intangible thing can you not imagine life without? List five values. For example: freedom, like-minded people, family, fulfillment, and so on.
To get started, what are the five factors you need? For example: energy, calm, silence.

Next, ask yourself: what else is important to you to include in your life besides work? What aligns with your values? Most likely, the first answer will be: nothing, there is so little strength, you need to put everything into work. But remember: it is the balance of personal life and work that protects us from burnout. Ask yourself: “Am I now the person I wanted to be? What is missing in my life? What was my dream before I burned out?” Perhaps it's playing an instrument, learning art, or volunteering. If you can’t find a non-work related activity that you like, take a closer look at nearby areas: mentoring, networking.

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