Where does generational conflict come from and how to overcome this problem

Scientific and technological progress, technological development and social changes greatly influence our lives. Therefore, what was correct and natural for the older generation is outdated and awkward for the younger generation. In this regard, a generational conflict arises. Constant quarrels, misunderstandings, criticism and moralizing lead to the destruction of relationships between family members.

What it is?

Openly declaring the conflict between generations and actively using this term began in America in the 1960s.

During this period, a protest arose among young people regarding the war with Vietnam. She was also not satisfied with the racial discrimination that existed in the country and social injustice.

The teenagers quarreled with their parents and engaged in hand-to-hand combat with the police. And it was so large-scale that sociologists started talking about the open, acute problem of fathers and children.

Although it has existed at all times, and will always exist as long as humanity lives.

This topic has been studied most deeply by such specialists as Carl Whitaker, Murray Bowen, Virginia Satir and Salvador Minuchin.

Generational conflict is the emergence of contradictions between representatives of both one and different generations.

It allows you to either strengthen relationships and social ties between the participants, or, on the contrary, destroy them if they were unable to find a way out of the current situation that would suit both parties.

What is meant by the words generation gap, generational conflict and why does it arise?

The words “conflict of generations” are usually understood as a cultural and social phenomenon when the values of the younger generation differ significantly from the values of the older generation.
Young people stop identifying themselves with their fathers and grandfathers, completely rejecting their authority and experience. Children and parents in such a situation perceive each other as representatives of a completely different culture and worldview.

Misunderstanding between children and parents

In the past, the problem of generational conflict was not so noticeable. For many centuries, two or three generations lived a similar lifestyle as society developed slowly. Children, as a rule, learned their father's trade and in the process of such learning adopted his worldview. The words of the older generation were true and were not questioned.
Elder man always meant “wise man,” since the source of knowledge was only life experience. Therefore, children never competed with their parents in knowledge and wisdom. And young people did not have the opportunity to express their individuality.
The development of society has given children the opportunity to learn. And if earlier there was only one way to find out something - it was to ask the older generation, then later the youth had other sources of acquiring knowledge. Gradually, the attitude of the younger generation towards older people transformed into less respectful.

Researchers have identified the main factors that cause generational conflict and the emergence of sociocultural distance between elders and younger ones:

Changing social conditions.
Mismatch of life priorities.
Decline in the social status of an elderly person in society .
Changes in working conditions as a result of scientific and technological progress.
Psychological characteristics of people of different ages.
Reducing the significance of the experience of previous generations due to new opportunities for obtaining information.

The conflict between generations makes it difficult to understand each other

These days, the generation gap seems more acute. This problem is the result of the rapid development of society. The world is improving every day, and the immediate past seems too outdated.

Modern society is characterized by the continuous introduction of innovations, which periodically restructure established traditions and norms. And many things that were previously prohibited are now the social and cultural norm.
Psychologists are confident that the problem of mutual understanding between the older and younger generations will always exist. After all, the culture on which one generation was raised will not be fully understandable to another. Each new generation lives based on the results and experience of all previous ones. At the same time, people use and develop only that without which their existence is not possible, and categorically reject that which, in their opinion, is outdated.

Types of generations

Silent (1923 – 1943). Silent - because Stalin's repressions caused horror, accordingly, people tried to be invisible, this allowed them to survive in those times. Characterized by patience, devotion and suspicion.
Baby Boomers (1943 – 1963). After the war there was a surge in birth rates, hence the name. They are characterized by optimism, collectivism and hard work.
X (1963 – 1984). These years saw perestroika, which is why the rebels, as this generation is also called, strive for change. They do not tolerate patriarchy and fight for equality.
Y (1984 – 2000). They are also called millennials or generation zero. They want to get everything from life, so their activities are directed towards pleasure. They do not value knowledge, preferring “useful acquaintances” to achieve goals.
Z (2003 – 2023). The Zetas, unlike the Yers, understand that they need education. Freedom-loving and retreating in the face of difficulties. Capricious, cautious and not responsible. And also developed, because there are so many opportunities around, only the lazy will not use them.

How to overcome the generation gap?

Due to generational conflict, often arise between close people , leading to quarrels and resentments. Unwilling to compromise, parents and children may not communicate for a long time, and a chasm arises between them.
Of course, the perception of the world by relatives of different ages is significantly different. But the views on general concepts, such as “good” and “evil”, “good” and “bad”, can be the same among old people and young people, as they are formed in the process of communication and education. The beliefs and values of parents are instilled in children through personal examples. But during their own lives, all this is used by children in new conditions and is therefore interpreted in their own way. We can say that conflict in the family is not based on age differences, but on personal relationships.
Is misunderstanding between older and younger generations an insoluble conflict? And what can become a condition for a harmonious relationship between them?

Is it possible to resolve the conflict?
In order to improve relationships with loved ones of another generation and smooth out the “sharp edges” as much as possible when communicating with them, listen to the following recommendations:

When talking, do not interrupt your interlocutor. Give him the opportunity to finish the conversation. And it doesn’t matter how old he is, whether he’s younger or older than you. Listen respectfully to the person's point of view.
Never raise your voice . Express your views calmly and reasonably.
Don't try to insist on your own. Always look for a compromise solution that will suit both you and your opponent.
Don't be rude and don't avoid answering, thinking that no one will understand you anyway. Always answer the question asked.
Try to understand the other person's point of view. You may not agree with her, but try to look at the problem through the eyes of your older or younger relative. Understand that everyone has the right to their own opinion.

But you just need to talk.
Remember that problems of mutual understanding between “fathers” and “children” happen in every family. The main thing is to resolve generational conflicts based on your love for children and respect for the elderly.

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Main causes

There are many reasons why so-called “father-son” conflicts arise. In principle, each situation is individual and may include several factors at once.

We would like to present to your attention those that are observed most often and are the main ones.

Reluctance to obey

During adolescence, independence is formed. A child at this age is trying to understand what he is like and what he is capable of. Therefore, it is important not to limit his freedom, but to give him the opportunity to get to know himself.

But there are families in which such aspirations to become independent from adults are met with hostility. Parents believe that because of their age they have a better understanding of life, which is why they show their teenager what to love and how to act.

In principle, this is true; they usually have much more experience and knowledge than their children. But it is extremely important to give everyone a chance to fill their bumps.

Some resign themselves to the authoritarianism of their parents, but most do not want to obey them. That's why puberty is called the most difficult period.

The teenager protests, proves his point. And he usually fights just for the right to be who he is. The subject of the dispute itself may not be so important, it’s about the process and the result. He longs for recognition by adults of himself as an individual.

Discrepancy between expectations and reality

People tend to be enchanted and dwell in illusions and fantasies, completely ignoring reality. For example, when getting married, young people most often think that they will become happier simply because their relationship will become legalized.

But in fact, everything depends only on them, how ready they are to accept each other’s shortcomings. Do they know how to withstand intimacy, and how do they cope with the difficulties that arise?

In general, family happiness is ensured by a lot of factors, which are dangerous to ignore. So, with charm, disappointment is sure to follow. The only question is time, how quickly it will come.

In the same way, parents, not noticing reality, can expect from their children what they are simply not capable of. When a boy who loves to dance is forced to box, this gradually provokes tension in the relationship.

He will feel angry towards such a harsh parent, and, accordingly, will try to rebel, defending his rights to do what he likes.

If it is strictly forbidden in the family to show aggression and generally become irritated, he will direct the destructive vector towards himself.

That is, either he will consciously strive to get into traumatic situations, or he will develop a number of complex diseases that will not allow him to continue his sports career. Simply put, they will give you reasons to quit boxing.

Differences in value system

There are people who are acutely aware of the fact that others may not agree with their point of view. That they don’t live at all as they should and in general, they don’t understand a lot of things, unlike them.

Some people prioritize family, others career. And each of them will be happy and unhappy in their own way. There are no single correct values. Workaholism will benefit some, but on the contrary, it will harm others.

In addition, people have different needs at different times. We should not forget that during the Great Patriotic War people needed to be able to survive and fight enemies. The next generation was rebuilding the country, so they worked tirelessly.

What was important before is not as relevant now. But this does not mean that representatives of different generations have the right to devalue each other.

Fear of everything new

Older people most often refuse the technologies that the modern generation offers them. They spent most of their lives without the Internet and gadgets, enjoying each other’s company and nature.

Why is it difficult for them to understand how to handle phones, how to use a computer, and why robots were invented in general.

They are also afraid to make mistakes, because they are accustomed to the fact that they entail negative consequences. And they have no idea how to deal with these errors. What if, by pressing the wrong key combination, they completely break some piece of equipment?

In addition, it is worth considering the fact that scientific and technological progress undermines the authority of the older generation.

Any five-year-old child is able to go to YouTube and turn on a cartoon, download an application or game of interest. Why would he then listen to a person who is not capable of such a thing? But he only declares that he has seen a lot in this life?

Selfishness

There are individuals who are not interested in other people's opinions, they only care about their own well-being, even if this means creating inconvenience for others. They simply lack the feeling that there are boundaries beyond which they should not go.

People call them complacent and spoiled; in psychology there is such a term as selfishness.

So, you shouldn’t expect respect, recognition and acceptance of another point of view from an egoist. Especially for older people.

Neglect of the past

Our ancestors made a lot of mistakes, as, in principle, each of us. After all, ideality, as you know, does not exist.

Moreover, in the past, people were limited in their capabilities. Every year, humanity receives more and more answers to questions that have bothered it for decades.

So, modern youth may consider themselves smarter than their predecessors, which is why they ignore the experience that their elders are trying to pass on to them. This, naturally, offends and angers, which makes relationships difficult, provoking conflict situations.

Disagreements in adolescence

In the last 50 years since the end of World War II, the opposition between parents and children has been practically postulated by culture. A stable concept of “teenage rebellion” has emerged. This is behavior that is expected of a growing child.

If we approach this from the historical and cultural side, then this is a young concept that no one had heard of a hundred years ago. And such a word as “teenager” did not exist in any lexicon. Why has everything changed in our time?

This phenomenon is largely due to the fact that the traditional patriarchal structure both in society and in the family has collapsed. Therefore, if previously it was generally accepted that the wisest bearers of truth were the elders of the clan, now all hope rests with the younger generation. Using the example of specific family situations, all this can give rise to many problems, for example:

In teenage slang, the concept of “parents” is not used as such. In most cases, it is replaced by such contemptuous words: rodaki, ancestors - people who are no longer relevant and have no right to vote, since they “suck”, and meanwhile the youth “rules”.
The opinion of parents is by default perceived by children as outdated: “what do you understand about this!”, “Mom, no one has been saying (thinking, doing) that way for a long time.”

To improve relationships between generations and mitigate emerging conflicts, it is necessary to:

Don't lose your sense of humor. Even if you are very offended and unpleasant, you should not take everything to heart.
Try to remember yourself and your behavior as a teenager. If you have any old photographs or diaries, be sure to look and re-read them. And also talk to friends and parents who can tell you what you were like.
When there is a calm and good atmosphere in the house, talk to your child about how you, too, were once in this state. Try to make this conversation friendly rather than didactic.
And it is also recommended to tell you that your parents also seemed outdated and stupid to you.
Reassure yourself with the thought that adolescence will eventually pass. Who among us, at the age of 14, did not think that he knew everything about life and people? However, life experience softens everyone.
When the situation becomes more and more difficult, it should be remembered that, through conflict, children develop their own position in life.

Consequences

Negative

Deterioration of mood and general well-being due to stress. Any quarrel is tension, and subsequently stress for the body, which very rarely benefits its owner. There is a section in psychology called psychosomatics. She studies the influence of various psychological factors on the emergence and development of somatic diseases. To put it simply and in popular terms, this is a statement that any disease is caused by nerves.
Breakdown of relationship or increased misunderstanding. When both sides are not ready to hear each other, acknowledge and seek compromises, it causes a lot of anger. Which, in principle, has such powerful energy that it can lead to people stopping communicating. Even despite the fact that they are related.
Growing social tension. It manifests itself in the form of distrust in authorities, a decline in the demographic situation, rush demand and general anxiety among the population.

Positive

Changes in the value system of participants. Every conflict is a clash of different points of view. Both sides get the opportunity to reconsider their ideals and values, and understand that there are other opinions. And if they understand that their priorities are set incorrectly, because they do not allow them to achieve what they want and realize their goals, then there is a chance to change their life for the better, relying on the experience of others.
Relieving social tension.
Solving life problems and complex tasks. This has already been mentioned in the column about rethinking values. Moreover, in the process of conflict resolution, opponents resolve not only the main problem, but also related ones.

Generational conflict - why is it difficult for the older generation to understand young people?

Often the older generation believes that their experience allows them to impose their views and rules of behavior on young people. And young people, in turn, are confident that they have sufficient knowledge to decide for themselves how to live.
And age is not a sign of wisdom for them. In addition, young people are characterized by an unconscious desire to get rid of control and excessive care.
On this basis, disagreements and mutual claims and generational conflict arise between people of different ages.

Let us list the main reasons why it is difficult for the older generation to understand young people and a generational conflict arises:

Internal restrictions and prohibitions. As people age, they become more conservative and find it difficult to renounce their beliefs. The older generation is often unable to perceive reality due to lack of flexibility. They do not understand that the world is changing at an incredible speed, and new times require the formation of different thinking and standards.
Excessive concern. Parents are always worried about their children and cannot admit that their child has grown up. Therefore, elders strive to protect younger ones from mistakes. It seems to them that the lifestyle that children lead can lead to failures and life problems. For this reason, parents tend to impose their views on their offspring, so that it would be “what is best.”
Lack of demand in society. It is known that our era is characterized by the cult of youth. A personality is assessed by its ability to act effectively and easily adapt to new living conditions. But older people cannot perform the tasks that modern life dictates to them. Unfortunately, the attitude towards older people as useless members of society is increasingly prevailing in the mass consciousness.
Inability to keep up with the modern pace of life. The older generation is at a loss from the huge amount of new information that is poured out on them every day. It is not easy for them to master new gadgets, electrical appliances, and computer programs. Therefore, they prefer to live and work “the old fashioned way” and do not understand the desire of young people for new technologies.
Unmet need for communication. It's no secret that old people often feel unnecessary to their loved ones. Therefore, they are offended by young people, reproaching them for lack of attention and respect. It turns out to be a vicious circle: on the one hand, the older generation wants to communicate and be useful, on the other hand, such communication is replete with reproaches and accusations and develops into a quarrel.

Misunderstanding

Resolution Methods

It should be understood that the problem of intergenerational conflicts will exist as long as humanity lives.

But we have the power to anticipate the emergence of protracted and complex quarrels, as well as to minimize losses. This refers to the ability to stop in time before a break in the relationship occurs.

Recommendations

If you want to be heard, learn to listen and hear back. By ignoring your opponent’s words, devaluing them and ridiculing them, you will only “throw wood” into the already flaring fire of misunderstanding. Use active listening techniques, then you will achieve positive results in the communication process.
Give reasons for your opinion. By using information from a trusted source, you will increase your chances of being listened to.
Avoid insults and personalities during an argument. Otherwise, you will only turn your interlocutor against you, causing him a lot of indignation.
Agree to compromises. There are situations when instead of “or” you can use “and”. That is, both sides can be right and worthy of respect. Look together for options that will suit both you and the other equally.
Make concessions if the relationship is more valuable to you than being right in this matter. Yes, it is unpleasant, but the loss of a loved one will not bring much happiness.
Ignore the conflict if you understand that it is organized artificially, only for emotional release. For example, it happens that disagreements in a family begin for one simple reason - the fatigue of its members. It is worth resting at least a little, and then what is happening will be perceived differently, more calmly.
Look for opportunities and resources. By stopping yourself in the moment of anger about the fact that your point of view is devalued, and by thinking about what useful things you will take away from this conversation, you can move forward in your development. Let’s say you learn about other people’s experiences, share yours, this will broaden your horizons. Or, based on your opponent’s behavior, you will understand how you should behave yourself, and what words and behavior patterns are better to refuse.

Types of generations and factors leading to generational conflict

Why do different generations so often fail to find a common language? According to William Strauss and Neil Howe's generational theory, people's interests and values are largely determined by the period in which they were born. The worldview of people born in the same time period will be similar in many respects, since in childhood and adolescence they experienced the same social experiences, while changes in worldview occur, on average, every 20 years.

There are five types of generations, each of which has certain fundamental qualities:

“The Silent Ones” (birth period 1923 – 1942). Most of their lives occurred at a time when science and technology were rapidly developing. Such people are distinguished by modesty, as well as strict adherence to ethical standards, rules and traditions. They prefer to save money and tend to “stock up for future use”; they value morality and respect. “Silent people” do not like to experiment.
“Baby Boomers” (birth period 1942 – 1962). Born during the difficult war and post-war years, many of them lost their parents early and therefore did not receive the required amount of affection and love. This circumstance caused them to be somewhat aggressive. In general, these are optimistic, active and creative people. They were the ones who built the new world. Baby Boomers are team-oriented. Their main quality is rationalism . They do not like to leave their comfort zone, and they also prefer to work at one enterprise all their lives. They value material wealth and financial stability, considering these factors to be an indicator of success.
“Generation X” (birth period 1963 – 1982). These are people whose early childhood was spent in kindergartens, which caused many of them to have childhood psychological trauma. Therefore, Xs, as a rule, do not talk about their problems and what causes them inconvenience. They are ready for experiments and everything new. One of the main priorities for these people is higher education, which, in their opinion, is the key to a successful and wealthy life. “Xers” are not prone to spending and prefer to save money for significant, large purchases. They love to compete, but at the same time they are often not confident in themselves. They tend to control everything, so they rarely delegate tasks.
“Generation Y” (birth period 1983 – 2000). Optimistic, open and ready for any changes, people. Education is not something important for them. good work more Moreover, they are confident that a profession should not only bring money, but also bring joy. These are active users and consumers. This type of people only does what they like. “Greeks” will not tolerate any pressure or rude attitude towards themselves. They make purchases mainly via the Internet. They love independent travel without travel agencies and expensive hotels. Freedom of movement and vivid impressions are what they need. For “gamers,” the main thing is personal sensations and feelings. They live the way they want, do not depend on the opinions of others and do not recognize authorities.
“Generation Z” (birth period since 2000). Freedom-loving, dreamy, but somewhat infantile people. They are used to being loved unconditionally. Therefore, they do not need to prove anything to anyone or earn anyone's favor. As a rule, representatives of this type do not really like to communicate in person, preferring correspondence on social networks. Because of this, they have a poor understanding of people. But the Zetas master any modern gadgets extremely easily and quickly.

Separation of Generations
In addition to the differences described, there are a number of factors that cause generational conflict:

Unequal life values. What seemed important in previous years may not be of any interest to modern people. In addition, the older generation is accustomed to postponing life “for later.” And modern people are sure that they need to live today, now.
Different upbringing. Modern methods of education are absolutely not similar to those that were used before. Nowadays children receive much more care and attention from their parents. Therefore, they are happier, kinder and more open.
Rapid development of technology and science. Every day new things appear that make life or production processes easier. Progress is accelerating, and the older generation simply does not have time to learn new technologies.

You need to understand that each generation performs its own tasks. If we ignore the differences between the worldviews of different age groups, we can become a society where people do not understand each other. Therefore, we must value and respect people of all ages and views.

Baby Boomers

People who were born after the Great Patriotic War / depositphotos.com

Researchers include in this category those who were born during the “era of recovery” - from 1944 to 1964. The USSR won the Great Patriotic War, it was necessary to carry out the plan for the development of the state, including improving the demographic situation. This circumstance provoked a sharp jump in the birth rate in the Soviet Union.

Distinctive features of the Baby Boomer generation:

predisposition to collective activities;
trusting relationship with peers;
faith in the bright future of the state;
willingness to work “for the idea”;
conservative view of the world.

Unfortunately, everything that these people believed in collapsed in the 80s, when perestroika began in the country. At that time, representatives of the baby boomer generation were from 18 to 40 years old, respectively, few of them were able to accept the new reforms and social system of the state.

How to Work and Communicate with Baby Boomers

First, take into account the fact that people of the older generation are formed individuals and it is unlikely that you will be able to change them. You will get nothing but conflict. Secondly, the “carrot and stick” method works well for such people. It is important for them to feel needed in the eyes of society - the trail of Soviet upbringing cannot be easily dispelled. Make them feel like they are irreplaceable.

Third, Baby Boomers are the only generation that loves to teach. They most often utter the phrases: “I know what’s best” and “In my times...”, so be prepared for periodic instructions and perceive this as a characteristic of a particular individual.

Generation conflict in a modern family. article on the topic

Generation conflict in a modern family.

Conflicts arose along with the emergence of the first human communities, being their logical consequence. The phenomenon of conflict occupies one of the most important places in the life of society and people. The change of generations, the displacement of the old by the new is a manifestation of a universal pattern. And from this pattern all kinds of conflicts arise.

In recent years, scientific interest in the problem of conflict has increased significantly. This is to a large extent explained by the increase in the general level of conflict in modern society. A variety of conflict situations are the inevitable product of a complex and contradictory process of social interaction, which confronts both society as a whole and each individual person with the need to solve them.

Conflicts within the family are inevitable, and intergenerational conflicts always deserve a varied analysis of their essence, specificity, causes, forms of manifestation, consequences, resolution and prevention. This is also relevant for modern Russian families, for social work with them. It is also of great importance for the study of the social structure of modern Russian society and social processes occurring in the sphere of interaction between generations. The problematic situation is the increase in intergenerational conflicts in the family.

The study of the problem of intergenerational interaction is very relevant, since the generational structure of our society is designed in such a way that we are, and will always be, in close contact with representatives of different generations. In the family circle, at work, on public transport, while standing in line, and so on, we constantly enter into interactions with other people that are of a diverse nature. The problem of intergenerational interactions is an eternal one, existing since the emergence of human society. This topic has always been “double-edged” for each of the interacting parties. Generations passed, children became fathers, and the discussion of this problem not only did not cease, but flared up with renewed vigor. Intergenerational interactions are one of the essential factors in the development and functioning of society. The role of intergenerational interactions has especially increased in conditions of a systemic crisis, in connection with the changing demographic situation in Russia and the change in the hierarchy of values of the younger generation.

Conflict between generations is an integral part of parent-child interaction, since a clash of opposing needs, motives, goals, interests, positions, and opinions of the subjects of this interaction is inevitable. Conflicts in the family have repeatedly become the subject of research in various scientific fields: in sociology (A.I. Antonov, V.M. Medvedkov, V.A. Sysenko, 1981, 1989); in psychotherapy (Yu.E. Aleshina, 1994; A.Ya. Varga, 2001; V.V. Yustitskis, E.G. Eidemiller, 2000); in social psychology (A.N. Obozova, 1983; T.M. Trapeznikova, N.V. Grishina, 1995, 2000; G.N. Timchenko, A.N. Kharitonov, 2002, etc.). The focus of research is mainly on marital conflict, while child-parent conflict remains on the periphery of research interests. Meanwhile, today we have numerous results of psychoanalytic research, which studied the characteristics of interpersonal conflict in the “parent-child” system, its factors and the impact on the subsequent development of its participants (S. Freud, 1900, 1917, 1938; A. Freud, 1960 ; D. Bowlby, 1940, 1956; D. Winnicott, 1965, etc.).

Conflict is a collision of opposing goals, positions, opinions, and views of opponents or subjects of interaction. The English sociologist E. Giddens gave the following definition of conflict: “By conflict I mean a real struggle between active people or groups, regardless of the origins of this struggle, its methods and means mobilized by each side”1. Conflict is a ubiquitous phenomenon. Every society, every social group, social community is susceptible to conflict to one degree or another. Often people are simultaneously forced to participate in several very different conflicts, none of which completely absorbs their personal resources. L. Coser, in his classic work “Functions of Social Conflict,” believed that “the partial participation of individuals in a mass of conflict situations acts as a mechanism that maintains the balance of the intragroup structure.” Thus, conflicts are inevitable, especially among young people.

The first theories of intergenerational conflicts were of a global nature. American sociologist L. Feuer, in a book dedicated to the student movement, wrote that “the conflict of generations is a universal theme of human history. It is based on the most basic features of human nature and is perhaps an even more important driving force of history than the class struggle.” L. Feuer argued that “the history of all still existing societies is the history of the struggle between generations.”

However, the origins of this struggle are portrayed differently. Some authors, including Feuer, believe that the basis of all intergenerational conflicts lies in the eternal rivalry between father and son (“Oedipus complex”). Other authors went even further; the founder of ethology, K. Lorenz, argued that “enmity between generations” has ethological roots. The current state of society, according to him, is a mass neurosis caused by the fact that modern man has disrupted the mechanisms responsible for maintaining a balance between pleasures and worries. The difficulties and obstacles that forced man to undertake the necessary but unpleasant efforts for survival have disappeared. Hence - hedonism, the demand for immediate satisfaction of all desires, impatience and laziness, which are always accompanied by emotional and spiritual impoverishment. And since these traits are especially common among young people, society is threatened by the interruption of cultural tradition. Young people “experience an archaic instinctive pleasure in tribal warfare directed against the parental generation. The hatred they have for us, the older generation, is akin to national hatred, the most destructive of all emotions. It excludes all communication, which makes it “blind” and creates a threat of escalation of hostility.”

Another approach was proposed by the French psychoanalyst J. Mandel, who contrasts the classic “conflict” described by Freud (“Oedipus complex”) with the idea of a “Crisis of Generations.” If the “conflict of generations” associated with the Oedipus complex” consisted in the fact that the teenager sought to take the place of his father and, in general, older, “social fathers” in society, then the “crisis of generations” means that the young man does not compete with his father, so that ultimately identify with it, but completely reject it as a model, abandoning its socio-cultural inheritance. This happens, first of all, because modern society and the power that exists in it are no longer experienced in the unconscious as the image of the Father - mentor, patron and embodiment of values, but rather resembles the archaic image of the omnipotent Mother in society and family. Contemporary theoretical perspectives on conflict are presented as either human development theories or social psychological theories.

Developmental theories include psychoanalytic theory and cognitive development theory.

Psychoanalytic theory posits that conflict with parents and alienation from parents is a healthy need to support personality development, restructuring relationships, and reducing anxiety. The personality that develops in the family is characterized by relationships of love and support from parents. As the individual matures, family relationships are destroyed, conflicts are guaranteed, and the individual moves away and establishes alternative relationships with peers, which take the place of close ties with parents.

Cognitive-developmental theory argues that conflicts are the result of intellectual maturity, prompting a re-examination of one's understanding of oneself and relationships. Conflict is a mechanism by which children and adolescents acquire new cognitive structures, develop new perspectives, and significantly change patterns of behavior with parents and peers.

There is a growing need in society to establish a mechanism for protecting against the consequences of intergenerational conflict. This function can be successfully performed by social work. Its main goal will be to resolve and prevent generational conflicts and direct their relations towards mutually beneficial cooperation. The task of social work, in particular, will be the prevention of socially unacceptable forms of manifestation of intra-family generational conflict and mitigation of their negative consequences.

Generation conflict is not a new problem, since the problem of “fathers and sons” has always existed. In former times it was simpler, since young people, most often, repeated the path taken by their parents. Education followed a certain system. Parents raised their children the way they were raised. Now everything is changing. The family as an institution of socialization is changing, the values of society are changing. Today's youth have completely different values, different moral guidelines. She, as a rule, denies the social experience of her parents. Children, as a rule, adopt basic life values and behavior patterns from their parents. The main way of family socialization is by children copying the behavior patterns of adult family members. According to studies by Western scientists, teenagers for the most part are still guided by their parents and share their values. Many parents forget that words don't teach anything. Works on the social theory of learning by A. Bandura show that the actions of adults and the role examples they set have a much stronger influence on the behavior of adolescents than any words. Sociologist V.A. speaks about the same thing. Sysenko: “We should not forget the fact that boys and girls inherit from their parents not only temperament, character, but also a style of behavior, communication, and forms of responses. The laws of social inheritance apply here.” Parents always strive to impose on their child a certain line of behavior that is most consistent with their principles and ideals, but such a policy does not often lead to the desired result. Children cannot indulge their parents in everything, since each person is individual and has the right to his own point of view. The family plays the main role in the formation of moral principles and life principles of the child. The primary socialization of the individual takes place in the family. It is in the family that the child prepares for independent life in society.

The family creates personality or destroys it; it has the power of the family to strengthen or undermine the mental health of its members. The family encourages some personal drives while preventing others, satisfies or suppresses personal needs. The family structures opportunities for achieving security, pleasure and self-realization. It indicates the boundaries of identification and contributes to the emergence of an individual’s image of his “I”.

The way children grow up depends on how relationships are built in the family, what values and interests are brought to the fore by its older representatives. The family climate affects the moral climate and health of the entire society. The child reacts very sensitively to the behavior of adults and quickly learns the lessons learned in the process of family upbringing. It is almost impossible to re-educate a child from a problematic family. The child has learned certain rules, and society will pay for such gaps in upbringing. The family prepares the child for life, is his first and deepest source of social ideals, and lays the foundations of civic behavior.

Parents, the first educators, have the strongest influence on children. Deep contacts with parents create a stable state of life in children, a feeling of confidence and reliability. And it brings a joyful feeling of satisfaction to parents.

Unfortunately, the accelerated pace of modern life, its urbanization, along with the ever-increasing responsibility and rigidity of social role prescriptions, unfavorable trends in the socio-psychological dynamics of family development, the lack of moral and ethical principles in the relationships of adults, and the low socio-psychological culture of communication lead to relationship disorders between parents and children. The one-sided dominance of the mother leads to a decrease in the role of the father in the family, and he is not able to promptly resolve the personal development problems of his children.

The problem with an incomplete family is that it is difficult for a child to create a holistic idea of men and women. It is not difficult for the remaining parent to develop a negative image of the absent parent, especially if the separation was due to divorce, abandonment, or something that caused great pain. A woman who is left with children without a husband must try very hard so that her child does not think that “all men are bad.” The boy who hears this will have a hard time believing that being a man is good. And if he does not feel that it is good, then how can he feel that he himself is good? A woman may have a very one-sided idea of what men are like. And this complicates her relationship with them. At the same time, the mother can unwittingly assign the role of husband to her eldest son, thus depriving him of his filial position. The specific way of life of a family with one parent significantly affects the educational process. The absence of one parent in the family can be the cause of inferior, unsuccessful upbringing of children, as well as causes of conflicts in the family. Children raised in single-parent families are deprived of an example of the relationship between a man and a woman, which negatively affects their socialization in general and their preparedness for future family life in particular. Currently, there are strong changes in the economic life of the country; the older generation devotes itself entirely to work, trying to survive in our difficult times. In this regard, such an important problem arises as a decrease in the educational function of the family. Of course, it’s good when grandparents take care of children. The assistance provided by older young family members is very diverse. Most often it is expressed in caring for young grandchildren and great-grandchildren. The importance of this help can hardly be overestimated. Here is the advantage of individual education, the value of close communication with the child in the first years of life, and a great guarantee of protecting him from diseases that are so common in preschool institutions. But when the younger and older generations live together, there is often a lack of understanding of each other. The reasons for the lack of mutual understanding are objective differences associated with new social conditions, differences in views on life, mismatch of values and psychological characteristics of older and young people. The younger generation is disidentified with their grandfathers both as carriers of the ideas of the past, and as authorities in the family, guidelines in life. This leads to tension in the institution of the family, with which the vast majority of the older generation still identifies.

Socialization is the process by which an individual assimilates the norms of his group in such a way that, through the formation of his own “I,” the uniqueness of this individual as a person is manifested, the process of assimilation by the individual of patterns of behavior, social norms and values necessary for his successful functioning in a given society. The family plays the main role in the socialization process. The family socialization of a child is crucial for the development of family needs. The general family climate directly influences children's perception of family roles and the desire to start their own family in the future.

Features of intrafamily relationships were studied by A.I. Zakharov, A.S. Spivakovskaya, A. J. Varga, E. G. Eidemiller, J. Gippenreiter, M. Buyanov, Z. Matejcek, G. Khomentauskas, A. Fromm, R. Snyder and others. A. S. Makarenko, who developed the most important issues of family education, made a huge contribution to the study of parent-child relationships. In “The Book for Parents,” Makarenko shows that the family is the primary collective, where everyone is a full member with their own functions and responsibilities, including the child.

Of considerable interest are the works of E. Harutyunyants, in which education and parent-child relationships are associated with the analysis of family structure. She identified 3 family options: traditional, child-centric and married.

A.E. Lichko, studying the problems of intra-family relations, identified dysfunctional situations in the family (overprotection, neglect, a situation that creates an “idol in the family”, a situation that creates “cinderellas” in the family).

In general, we can say that the problems of parent-child relationships are studied by many scientists who cover this issue from different aspects. In adolescence, when one’s “I” is no longer felt as a child’s, but preparation for an adult, independent life begins, the conflict of interests of parents and children intensifies and often reaches the point of confrontation. However, in harmonious families, conflicts are resolved painlessly, and parents and children become like-minded people in many respects. It should be taken into account that a critical attitude towards the position of parents does not always play a negative role, since a conflict of opinions leads to a revision of the positions of parents, which helps children better adapt to new conditions that have changed within one generation. But here we need the wisdom of parents, who should not put pressure on their children, imposing their own standards, but justify and discuss them, and try to understand their children from the height of their life experience. To do this, parents must “keep up with the times,” understand the interests of the younger generation, and respect new trends in society and culture, because each generation enriches the culture, revising the achievements of previous generations. Without this, progress may stop. The conflict of generations, which ensures the forward movement of society, in a harmonious family does not lead to confrontation, but to mutual respect for the positions of “fathers” and “children.” In disharmonious families, parents impose on their children their often outdated concepts that do not fit into the changed living conditions of the new generation, putting pressure on the children and forcing them to contrast their parents’ concepts with their own. To do this, in order to strengthen their positions, they often have to “bend in the opposite direction” and go into irreconcilable opposition even on minor issues. Disharmonious families are different. The following reasons for disharmony are identified: - there is no partnership between parents (one of them dominates, the other only submits); - destructured family (no mutual understanding between family members, no emotional attachment and solidarity between family members in solving life problems); — a disintegrating family (dominance of one family member with excessive dependence of others, strict regulation of family life, lack of emotional warmth). The less parents “blame” genes and the more they see their own mistakes in their children’s behavior, the greater the likelihood of creating emotionally close relationships with children and avoiding “sharp edges” in the conflict of generations, however, only in conditions of a harmonious marriage. Moreover, in harmonious families, parents have more opportunities to pay attention to their children and sacrifice marital interests for the sake of the children’s interests. After all, the needs of happy spouses are quite modest - they already have the basics. And the achieved family harmony will allow the stereotypes of a happy marriage to be passed on from generation to generation. Parents need to reconsider their attitude in life and towards their children, not demand too much from them and set at least some kind of example to follow. At the same time, children, in turn, should not restrain this conflict and not splash it out at a more mature age; it is necessary to solve problems by resorting to the help of parents and receiving both advice and help from them at any age as they arise. In this case, the conflict of generations in families living in modern society, the so-called conflict of “fathers and children” will not be such a global problem. From a problem, he will move into the ordinary stage of growing up for any teenager, which, painlessly for him and for his parents, will contribute to the formation of him, a full-fledged healthy personality, as an equal member of the family and society as a whole.

Conflicts between parents and children arise due to the destructiveness of intrafamily relationships! shortcomings in family upbringing, age-related crises of children, individual psychological characteristics of parents and children. Conflict-free communication between parents and children is facilitated by improving the pedagogical culture of parents, organizing the family on a collective basis, reinforcing verbal demands with the organization of education, and the interest of parents in the inner world of children.

Greatest Generation

The greatest people who ever lived on Earth. / depositphotos.com

The name “The Greatest Generation” itself came into use after the book of the same name by American journalist Tom Brokaw. The prerequisite for the appearance of such a term was the story he told himself - about people born during the Great Depression, and after - who fought for the honor of their country against Nazi Germany. Brokaw said that the representatives of that generation were the greatest people who ever lived on Earth.

Unfortunately, little is known about this category of people in the CIS countries. They were born in 1901 - 1925. and at a conscious age we witnessed events that, even almost a hundred years later, people are reluctant to talk about out loud: Stalin’s repressions, the Great Patriotic War, famine, exile, labor camps. That is why the conditions of existence and life cannot be called easy. Over the years, detailed information about the characteristics of many representatives of the Greatest Generation, unfortunately, has not been preserved.

The Silent Generation

The fate of these people faced many trials / depositphotos.com

Their lives began between 1925 and 1944. At the moment, many are no longer alive, and those who remain do not share their memories. The logic is simple - they saw everything the same as the representatives of the Greatest Generation, but at an earlier age, but they don’t want to talk about it for several reasons:

Children who grew up in a period of total control and a time when “even the walls have ears” are accustomed to not talking too much.
Denunciations, mass executions and the “black Volga”, which causes chilling horror even among schoolchildren, although they have become part of everyday life, have not become synonymous with the word “norm”.

Due to a troubled life, children and teenagers have learned to be “gray” and not stand out from the crowd. This was the only way to survive, being invisible. Naturally, there were exceptions - those who voiced their disagreement through creativity or, despite the circumstances, continued to speak out loud.

The generation was later called the "Silent" generation because of the characteristics that unite many of its representatives:

patience and obedience;
reverence for laws;
isolation and reticence;
lack of rebellious spirit;
following the rules;
thriftiness and caution;
trust in medical workers;
careful attitude towards health;
hard work.

Representatives of the Silent Generation fell in love once and for life, made no more than one or two close friends, got married early and gave birth to heirs. They gave all their strength and knowledge for the good of the country, restoring it after a devastating war that made many of them orphans. People who fall into this category saved every pin, saved on groceries, and never threw anything away - “maybe it will come in handy.”

Famous representatives of the Silent Generation: academician Andrei Sakharov, bard Vladimir Vysotsky, cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin, poets Robert Rozhdestvensky and Yevgeny Yevtushenko, actors Oleg Tabakov and Yuri Nikulin, directors Eldar Ryazanov and Georgy Danelia.

How to work and communicate with the Silent Generation

Due to the need to feel needed, representatives of the Silent Generation have greater trust in those who give them this emotion. When communicating with this category of people, focus on the dogmas and rules that are familiar to them. Show care, support and participation more often. Take into account the difficult conditions of growing up for representatives of the Silent Generation, be patient and consistent in your judgments.