I don't want to live! Why does the fear of death arise and how to get rid of it: recommendations from a clinical psychologist


The feeling of fear is a natural human reaction to danger. Nature created it to ensure the survival of the human race. However, she also made the life of every creature finite. And often, when thinking about death, people experience strong, sharp fear.

Is this normal? Are there reasonable limits to this feeling? And when does a person’s fear of death become a real threat to his life and health? FAN journalist talked about this with clinical psychologist and psychotherapist Nikolai Chadayev .

Photo from the personal archive of Nikolai Chadayev /

The feeling of the inevitable - where does the feeling of fear of death come from?

It is human nature to strive for security, and everything that is unknown to us causes anxiety. Death is both inevitable and unknown, and therefore creates a natural desire to avoid it. Don’t think about it, don’t talk about it, don’t discuss it with friends and family, just don’t attach any importance to it - it’s a calmer way to live, and that’s normal.

But sometimes situations arise when it’s simply impossible not to think. The first time this happens is in early childhood, when the child understands that his parents are older and one day they will be gone. This discovery usually does not become a test for the child's psyche. Kids quickly outgrow this fear and don’t think about it for a long time.

In adulthood, it usually occurs in response to a stressful situation. When the person himself is in danger and suddenly realizes how fragile his life is and that it could end suddenly. This can be a serious reason for anxiety and the development of depression. Another “dangerous moment” is the loss of a loved one. The realization that he lived, talked, laughed, thought about something just yesterday, but today he is gone, makes you rethink your own values.

“The fear of death is called thanatophobia,” comments clinical psychologist and psychotherapist Nikolai Chadayev. - This is a condition in which a person thinks about death, his own or those of loved ones. And this causes severe anxiety, depression, which can turn into fixation and lead to suicide.”

pixabay.com/

Causes of fear of death

There is hardly a person who has never thought about the finitude of his existence or the possibility of life without the closest people who will one day leave him. But not everyone experiences these thoughts as causing the development of a phobia. According to Nikolai Chadayev, despite the fact that thanatophobia is common today, many people successfully overcome it. They try not to think about death, drive sad thoughts away and are distracted by the simple joys of life, which they consider the meaning of their lives.

But some people cannot cope with this psychological burden. Anxious thoughts settle so firmly in the mind that it changes the perception of life. A person begins to look at it from a completely new perspective, noting how meaningless everything around is. He doesn’t understand why laugh, why communicate, why eat and drink, if in the end everything will end according to the same “scenario”.

The development of thanatophobia is pushed both by internal experiences and by the environment. This year, amid the pandemic and daily information in the media about the number of deaths, anxiety in society has reached its peak. And people who have lost their loved ones or found themselves on the brink of life and death find themselves in a situation from which it is very difficult to get out on their own.

“It is very difficult for a person to realize that this life will one day come to an end and that this will happen forever,” comments Nikolai Chadayev. “And realizing this, many go into deep depression. In my practice, there was a case when a 55-year-old man refused food and spoke only about death after the loss of a relative. This is just one example when the stress associated with the loss of a loved one is perceived very acutely and causes intense feelings. Against this background, conditions are created for the development of thanatophobia or the debut of the disease occurs.”

pixabay.com/

Common types of phobias

Phobias are more common in women and young people under 30 years of age.

The most common:

  • nosophobia – fear of incurable diseases
  • social phobia – fear of going out, being among people, traveling on public transport, public speaking, fear of one’s own incompetence
  • phobias associated with possible disasters - fear of disasters, crimes, etc.
  • natural phobias - fear of the dark, depth, heights, closed spaces
  • Weight phobia - fear of being overweight

Degrees of thanatophobia

In psychiatry, fear of imminent death is considered a mental disorder. Its severity is assessed from mild to severe.

In a mild form, thanatophobia is manifested by periodically arising thoughts that one day the day will come that will be the last. That someday a person will die or people close to him will leave. The peculiarity of thanatophobia is that even if you manage to drive away these thoughts, they still return, which disrupts the usual rhythm of life. It loses its bright colors, awareness of its value disappears, a person may increasingly think about the meaninglessness of his own existence, which drives him into deep depression.

Along with the fear of death, the fear of life can also develop. This is a state in which a person tends to give up any aspirations and development. He does not see the need to study, to strive for career advancement. Does not understand the need to start a family or take care of loved ones. The fear of life forces him to close himself off, refuse communication, and remain alone, which only drives him deeper into a depressive state.

In severe thanatophobia, there is an intense fear of death, which leads to the development of tangible, physiological symptoms. In this case, disturbances in the circulatory system may occur: increased blood pressure, palpitations, tachycardia. Dizziness and frequent urination may bother you. A natural stage in the development of a phobia is sleep disturbances, and the impossibility of normal rest leads to an even greater deterioration of well-being.

“In its extreme form, thanatophobia leads to the development of other diseases - psychosomatic,” notes clinical psychologist Nikolai Chadayev. “As a result, a person has to work on pills, which, of course, does not improve well-being. In acute cases, the disorder can lead to suicide, so thanatophobia must be combated.”

pixabay.com/

Symptoms

Manifestations of the disorder vary from person to person. In most cases, an avoidant anxious behavior style is formed. If a person is afraid of dying from an illness, then trips to hospitals and constant examinations are typical. If fear is associated with an accident, then isolation and avoidance of public places occurs.

Symptoms of panic attacks and fear of death involve physical manifestations that occur suddenly. These include:

  • trembling throughout the body;
  • palpitations - a feeling that your heart will jump out of your chest;
  • lack of air;
  • increased sweating;
  • chills or intense hot flash;
  • sharp pain and heaviness in the chest;
  • numbness of the limbs;
  • dizziness;
  • darkening of the eyes.

All these manifestations occur simultaneously, without an obvious external cause. This condition is scary. Often such an attack is mistaken for a heart attack or as a manifestation of another fatal disease. A person perhaps realizes for the first time that he can die at any moment. This fear consumes all his thoughts, which negatively affects his personal and professional life.

In people with a panicky fear of death, symptoms affect more than just the body. Behavior, habits, and attitude to life change. The following manifestations are characteristic:

  • aggressiveness or irritability;
  • increased anxiety;
  • desire for loneliness;
  • avoiding any situations that may involve risk;
  • excessive sensitivity;
  • passivity;
  • conversations about the meaninglessness of current events;
  • diffidence.

A person at the initial stage of development of a phobia realizes that there are no real reasons for panic. He tries to cope with the feeling of fear on his own. But life in constant tension also leads to gastrointestinal disorders, sleep disorders, and arterial crises.

Diagnostics - why the fear of death appeared

According to the expert, this disorder does not cause difficulties in diagnosis. The person himself will tell you about his fears; you should ask him the appropriate questions. Another thing is that in our country it is not customary to turn to psychologists, and especially psychiatrists, if even strong fears arise that threaten to develop into a serious mental disorder. It is also not customary to communicate with loved ones about worries about imminent death or their loss. These conversations are often met with hostility, and the person who tries to talk about their fears is advised to “just get them out of your head.”

Unfortunately, this advice is unlikely to help. Because if a person is ready to tell his loved ones about his problem, it means it has already seriously matured and developed. And in this case, it is vitally important to contact a specialist - a clinical psychologist or psychotherapist, since it is unlikely that you will be able to cope with it on your own.

If a loved one does not talk about the fear of death, but you notice that he refuses to watch films in which someone dies or reacts extremely strongly to such stories, you should worry. The first step to solving the problem will be a heart-to-heart conversation, after which you also need to contact a specialist. If thanatophobia is left unattended, it will lead to extremely dangerous consequences.

pixabay.com/

How to recognize a phobia: main symptoms

It is possible to determine whether a person has a pathological fear of death by paying attention to the following symptoms:

  • anxiety, sleep disturbance;
  • changes in eating habits, sharp fluctuations in body weight;
  • a significant increase in blood pressure during periods of anxious thoughts;
  • hand tremors and nervous tics;
  • uncharacteristic behavior: irritability, tearfulness;
  • decreased concentration;
  • panic attacks;
  • depression or depression;
  • increasing superstitiousness.

How to get rid of the fear of death

Various techniques are used to correct the condition. Cognitive behavioral therapy, which is prescribed by a psychotherapist depending on the patient’s condition and the degree of disorder, shows high effectiveness. Hypnosis and prescribing antidepressants to the patient may also be practiced. But it is important to consider that antidepressants themselves do not cure anything. They rather dull the sensations, but do not allow a person to live a full life. Therefore, it is extremely important to approach treatment comprehensively, without trying to limit yourself to just pills.

“The effectiveness of psychotherapy depends both on the patient’s condition and on the technique used by the specialist,” notes clinical psychologist Nikolai Chadayev. — My author’s technique allows you to cope with the problem within one month, after several sessions. Traditional techniques require more time. Treatment usually takes months, sometimes even years.”

At the same time, the support of loved ones and the psycho-emotional background that develops in a person’s environment are of great importance. Of course, it is impossible to close yourself off from sad thoughts and protect yourself from any experiences. But each of us has the power to reduce the “degree” of negativity in our own lives.

And to do this, you need to get rid of the main sources of negative emotions: do not watch disaster films, thrillers and action films. Instead, choose light comedy films or non-stressful television programs. It is worth reconsidering your social circle and minimizing contacts with acquaintances who constantly complain about life. It is important to surround yourself with positive people, and then your own perception of life will also become positive.

What phobias are treated at the Ultramed clinic?

Our clinic employs experienced psychiatrists and psychotherapists who can cope with all types of common phobias both in an inpatient and outpatient setting. In this case, psychodiagnostics are carried out, modern medications are used, concomitant diseases are identified and treated.

Treatment methods

When treating fears and phobias in medicine, they use a modern and scientifically proven method of cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy, relaxation techniques, work with suggestion and self-hypnosis, and other techniques that complement psychotherapeutic treatment.

The greatest effect from psychotherapeutic treatment of phobias is achieved when the patient takes a conscious approach to psychotherapy, with an understanding of the need for consultation and treatment of phobias. During the sessions, the patient will be able to face his fears and overcome neurosis.

The use of a variety of psychotherapeutic techniques by a qualified psychotherapist will completely eliminate pathological fear and the negative consequences of mental disorders.

Rating
( 2 ratings, average 4.5 out of 5 )
Did you like the article? Share with friends:
For any suggestions regarding the site: [email protected]
Для любых предложений по сайту: [email protected]