I often think about death, especially at night. How to get rid of it?

“I’ll jump off the roof and die, I’m sure everyone will feel better,” the girl said in a trembling voice as she entered the psychologist’s office.

Suicidal thoughts are a fairly serious risk factor; in most cases they do not lead to suicide, but their presence is frightening.

You can live a completely wonderful life, have a family, a good car, a loving person, but one day you feel an irresistible desire and, unexpectedly for those around you, break down.

Thoughts about suicide can be episodic or obsessive, unformed or in the form of detailed planning.

Such thoughts bring a lot of discomfort into a person’s life. Possible sleep and appetite disturbances. These thoughts are mentally and physically exhausting.

The sages say that everything in the world has a reason. And suicidal thoughts are no exception. This kind of thoughts can be a consequence of mental disorders of organic origin, as well as a consequence of traumatic or shock situations.

What are the thoughts of suicide?

• The world is terrible, full of evil, there are very few good people;
• My situation is hopeless;
• Life is scary;
• I won't be able to achieve that in life;
• I will never be happy;
• Non-existence is a good break from life;
• Suicide is the only way out;
• By committing suicide, I will unite with my loved one who is already THERE.

Have you ever felt the urge to commit suicide? Perhaps you have heard such a desire from your loved ones or friends?

“I want to die” is often said in a situation of hopelessness, despair, or unexpected news. “I’m leaving you,” “your mother has died,” “you’re fired,” it’s so difficult to agree with this and it’s difficult to live and feel all those feelings that come at the moment of news.

Symptoms

Suicidal thoughts are accompanied by a number of symptoms such as:

• Loss of appetite or, conversely, gluttony
• Insomnia
• Physical and mental fatigue

Suicidal ideation most often involves two or more types of thought patterns, such as:

1. Obsessive fixation on the thought of planning an act of suicide.

2. The belief that there is no hope, and the only way to get rid of pain is by dying.

3. The belief that existence is meaningless or uncontrollable.

4. The feeling that thoughts are as if in a fog and it is difficult to concentrate on what is happening.

To date, quite a lot of calls related to suicidal thoughts have been recorded in Russia. In the latest study by the Institute of Public Opinion Questionnaire, 39% of Russians have ever had thoughts of suicide. Children are least likely to experience suicidal thoughts. A study has shown that thoughts of suicide are more common in women than in men.

In children, suicidal thoughts in a child (before the teenage crisis) are rare, because children have an instinctive fear of death. Here he either watched enough films with suicide attempts, or somewhere he heard conversations about such things. Less often, a child wants to die because of the death of one of his loved ones, believing that in this way he will be reunited with them.

Ideas to commit suicide are common among teenagers. This is due to the age crisis and hormonal surge.

As you can see, the statistics are quite critical.

I have suicidal thoughts among people of different ages, status and gender, and do not depend on their financial status. The appearance of such thoughts is difficult to predict; they are often a reaction of the psyche to various kinds of stress and are not satisfied with the quality of life.

What is fear of death?

“Phobias are an irrational, uncontrollable fear of someone or something, or of certain situations,” says psychotherapist Sergei Prokin.
– It should be emphasized that this is a fear that cannot be explained logically. Thanatophobia is the fear of death, which is based on the uncertainty of what will happen after death. What distinguishes a phobia from the ordinary fear of death and thoughts about it is its irrationality - the fear is not supported by real reasons, it is also accompanied by unpleasant sensations and interferes with normal life. People are afraid of dying in principle or in certain situations (from an accident, a heart attack, a criminal), and therefore they protect themselves from possible contacts and can isolate themselves from society, work, and communication.

Causes

The thought of suicide is like a beacon that what is happening is not suitable and the only right decision at this moment seems to be death.

Our psyche is structured in such a way that we react to every event in one way or another. The appearance of obsessive ideas about leaving life is the result of the fact that a person does not find a way out. The psyche perceives the critical situations described earlier as irreversible, as a result of which the purpose of life disappears. And the more traumatic the event that led to such a desire, the more difficult it is to cope. Thoughts are the same reaction as words or body movements. The topic of suicide is quite delicate and it is best to explore it accompanied by a psychologist. But it is not always possible and resources to reach a specialist, which is why today we will talk about methods of introspection and self-help when thoughts of suicide arise.

The process of experiencing certain life difficulties can provoke suicidal feelings, for example:

• mental health problems;
• bullying or restriction of rights on any grounds by others;
• domestic abuse;
• death of loved ones;
• separation from a partner;
• long-term physical pain or illness;
• inability to accept drastic changes in life, such as becoming disabled, expelled from school, or fired;
• money problems or loss of housing;
• rejection or feelings of loneliness;
• imprisonment;
• feeling like a failure.

Causes of thoughts about death

The reasons for misunderstanding how to live can be due to various factors. The main reasons for this problem are presented below:

• genetic factor, biological causes, environmental factors;
• psychological trauma experienced in childhood or adulthood;
• negative life experiences (for example, a series of defeats or stresses experienced that resulted in a negative vision of the present and future);
• depression;
• false ideas about one’s “badness” or worthlessness;
• family problems;
• depressed mood;
• tendency to get stuck in worries about unfavorable events;
• negative influence of the media.

Where to contact

If you have thoughts of suicide, make an appointment with a psychologist or psychiatrist in your city. If this is not possible, call the hotline of the psychological assistance center in your city. Your call will be completely anonymous, and you don’t have to worry about anyone finding out about your suicidal thoughts. You will not be asked to change your mind about dying or not to think about suicide. They will listen to you, support you, share your feelings and thoughts, this will reduce the level of tension and anxiety when such thoughts arise.

Perhaps in the process of dialogue you will become more clear about what pain you want to “kill” by committing suicide. Or maybe you want to attract someone’s attention or someone you want to punish with your death.

How to get rid of the fear of death for adults

“In thanatophobia,” explains psychotherapist Sergei Prokin, “there are biological, psychological and social prerequisites.
Biological is often a certain predisposition of the nervous system to respond with generalized reactions. Illness, insufficient sleep, intoxication, and congenital characteristics of the nervous system may predispose to this.

Psychological ones are primarily violations in the education system. Education in the style of increased anxiety, often in hyperprotection.

Social is the inability to react correctly (rationally) to various situations. First of all, they require active action and the ability to make quick decisions.

Psychotherapists work with all possible prerequisites at once, so it is important to contact a specialist.

Diet

Diet for the nervous system

• Efficacy: therapeutic effect after 2 months
• Timing: constantly
• Cost of food: 1700-1800 rubles per week

It is recommended to consume foods that have a positive effect on the nervous system:

• Legumes, vegetables, greens.
• Fish and seafood.
• Cellulose.
• Fruits.
• Nuts, seeds.
• Olive and linseed oil.
• Dairy products.
• Lean meat.

The following products should be minimized:

• Sweets, baked goods, baked goods.
• Fat meat.
• Fried foods.
• It is recommended to minimize salt and foods high in salt.
• Alcohol.

Consequences and complications

People suffering from thanatophobia often experience negative emotions. Due to constant anxiety, it is sometimes difficult for them to perform everyday tasks, work, and communicate with people. This condition significantly worsens the overall quality of life.

In severe cases, the patient may not leave the house for a long time and stop most contacts with people.

An obsessive state can lead to the development of other mental disorders.

Constantly being under stress also negatively affects the functions of the immune system.

Another risk is the desire to relieve anxiety by drinking alcohol or taking drugs. As a result, the patient may become dependent on them.

Why does thanatophobia occur?

Thanatophobia is the medical name for the fear of death. It can occur in people of any conscious age. The logical conclusion of life is death, therefore the fear of this event is common to all people. The complete absence of a sense of fear of death is also considered a pathology.

Depending on the reason that can provoke the fear of dying, there are several forms of fear and its manifestations:

1. Fear of serious illness. A patient with such a psychoemotional disorder has undergone surgery or had other health problems. It is possible that the source of the problem lies in the fear of experiencing severe pain, which is characteristic of many serious diseases.
2. Fear of the unknown. No one knows what will happen to him after death, so a person begins to fear what awaits him after death.
3. Loss of control. It is impossible to prevent death from occurring. Even if a person eats right, seeks medical help in a timely manner, etc., he knows that death cannot be avoided and begins to realize his own helplessness. Loss of control over the situation provokes a constant feeling of anxiety.
4. Loneliness. A person is afraid to be alone.
5. Faith and punishment. Religious people are not afraid of death, but of the fact that punishment awaits them for their sins.
6. Fear of sudden death. People with this form of thanatophobia are afraid to die, because... they have unfinished business, small children in need of care, etc.

In adults

Obsessive fear of death in adult patients often occurs after 30-35 years. During this period, most manage to establish themselves as individuals in their career, business and family life, beginning to evaluate their achievements differently, because They believe that life is at the beginning of its decline. Thoughts about death are visited more and more often, and the fear of dying begins to intensify in the event of a financial crisis, in moments of poor physical well-being and life turmoil.

In older people

The psychology of an elderly person differs from the psychology of middle-aged people. At the end of life, a rethinking of all actions and events occurs. In old age, people are often afraid not to die, but to experience the death throes.

Fear intensifies when a serious illness is diagnosed, and the person begins to fear that health problems may cause problems such as loss of reason or inability to move independently. Having such thoughts can lead a person to try to avoid the death throes through suicide.

In a child, teenager

Children's awareness of death occurs gradually. They may encounter it as a result of the death of a pet or relative. A small child does not experience emotional loss the same way an adult does. As he grows up, he begins to copy the behavior of those around him (parents).

When the realization comes that death is an irretrievable loss, it is necessary to explain to the child that this event awaits all living beings, but at different times. The child must learn to correctly understand the meaning of death. Otherwise, a phobia may begin to develop. Most often, children are afraid not of their own death, but of the loss of loved ones (mom, dad).

In adolescence, when personality is being formed, signs of fear of something new appear constantly. The child is afraid of public speaking, the sight of blood, or attacks. The fear of early death is no exception.

The teenager rethinks the information received at a young age about the meaning of death. He begins to understand that the end of existence cannot be avoided. Often teenagers try to fight and confront their fears and get carried away by various cultures that extol death or, conversely, mock it.

Situations cannot be ruled out when awareness of one’s own helplessness in adolescents leads to the appearance of suicidal thoughts.

Prevention

In order to prevent the condition from worsening when the fear of death manifests itself, it is necessary to follow some rules of prevention.

• Communicate with positive people who know how to inspire.
• Avoid negative information: crime news, disaster films, etc.
• Practice activities that help distract you from negativity, as well as read inspiring books.
• Communicate more with loved ones, family, friends.
• Eat properly.
• Play sports, walk a lot.

Pathogenesis

If in a normal state the fear of death appears in people under certain circumstances and disappears when the danger has passed, then with thanatophobia, obsessive thoughts are disturbing, even if there are no specific stimuli. Often people with this disorder realize that they have no reason to be afraid of death, but this understanding still does not make the anxiety go away.

The emergence and development of a phobia may be a consequence of the influence of several factors. Heredity, past psychological trauma, the inability to adapt to difficult circumstances, characteristics of family upbringing, etc. can influence its development.

Psychologist's advice and treatment

Therapy is selected based on why a person is afraid of dying. After identifying the source of the problem, it is recommended to accept the fact that it is impossible to avoid the end of life. Death is neither bad nor good. If a person has relatives or friends, then the departed person remains in their memory forever.

The patient needs to understand that there is no second chance to live life, so it is necessary to receive maximum happiness and benefit from everything that happens. The opportunity to experience joy should not be missed. If you constantly worry about your impending death, you can miss your long life without knowing what it means to be happy.

Positive thinking has been proven to speed up the recovery process from physical illness. When the problem is psycho-emotional in nature, optimism is one of the best medicines.

Tests and diagnostics

To confirm the diagnosis of thanatophobia and the disorders that accompany it, you need to contact a professional psychiatrist. The doctor conducts a detailed conversation with the patient and asks clarifying questions.

During the diagnostic process, various questionnaires can be used to determine personality traits and types of fears.

Sometimes there is a need to consult with other specialists - a cardiologist, a therapist, etc. In turn, they may prescribe additional examinations.