A child psychologist - who is he and what does he treat, at what age can you visit a psychologist - find out at the MEDSI Clinic

My child visited a psychologist's office. What does it mean? Is there something wrong with the baby? Am I a mediocre parent and can’t cope on my own? Will they stuff him with pills and turn him into a “vegetable”? Will we be registered and then notified at school?

Unfortunately, these are exactly the thoughts that come to the minds of many parents at the mere thought of consulting a child psychologist. Because of our culture and social pressures, we often think that going to therapy is a stigma for being stupid and unlucky, when in reality it’s quite the opposite.

Children's Montessori is in a hurry to understand the question of who needs a child psychologist and why, and also to prove that visiting a psychologist is a completely safe and effective way to cope with the difficulties of parenting and improve interaction in the family.

In what cases is a psychologist needed?

Many parents think that a psychologist is some kind of magician who will teach a child to behave correctly, be obedient and comfortable. Actually this is not true. The specialist’s task is to understand the problem and try to solve it. But whether it will happen again in the future depends only on the parents and the child himself.

What problems are addressed to a child psychologist:

• Aggression, uncontrollable behavior, tantrums, touchiness.
• Bad habits, obsessive movements.
• Fears, anxiety, nervous excitability.
• Hyperactivity, decreased attention.
• Problems with parents, friends, at school, in children's groups.
• Developmental disorders.
• Psychosomatic problems, etc.

When to teach choice

In order for a child to learn to make decisions, adults must respect his choices. Even babies have their own desires. The baby will not eat if he doesn’t want to, from two toys he will reach for one, and will move from his mother’s hands to his dad’s. This choice is unconscious and unreasonable, but important.

The ability to choose is formed at an early age. At 2-3 years old, the baby is already able to choose a toy and treat. At 5-6 years old - a more serious choice: a place to go, type of activity, clothes

At the same time, it is very important that the child can explain the reasons for his choice. And don’t criticize his decision, but accept it, no matter how stupid it may seem to you

To teach a child to choose, we must provide him with such an opportunity, because he will choose what is more familiar, what is familiar. That is why parents should provide children with the opportunity to try other options, sometimes forcing them to do so and leaving no other choice: offering other dishes, new entertainment, unusual clothes, an unfamiliar activity. This is the only way to find out what you like more, what tastes better, and where is more interesting.

Where to look for a psychologist

The easiest option is to type the query “child psychologist /city/” into a search engine and follow the links provided. Among them there will be so-called aggregators - sites with information about specialists. Pay attention to the psychologist’s rating and reviews from his clients.

If you have settled on a specific specialist, try to find his website or pages on social networks. There you can read about his working methods and experience.

Friends of friends

The main difficulty in finding a specialist through friends is that people are not always willing to share that they had to resort to the help of a psychologist. Especially when it comes to complex cases: child suicide, deep depression, etc.

In addition, psychologists themselves avoid working with acquaintances of acquaintances. Here it is a matter of the risk of imposing a personal imprint, and the psychologist must be objective and impartial.

Difficulties also arise with the selection of a specialist to solve a specific problem. If some psychologist helped a friend’s child cope with night terrors, then it is not a fact that he will solve the problem of enuresis or obsessive-compulsive disorder in your child.

Are Skype sessions normal?

Yes, it is normal. But working on Skype is a little different than working in person. Still, the perception of a person on the screen and in the same room with you is different. The number of methods that can be used and the information that can be paid attention to during the consultation are limited. For example, it is difficult to track bodily reactions or changes in facial expressions, which are very important for work. There are also technical difficulties that have not been canceled. And the need for the client to provide himself with a safe space where he can freely talk about his difficulties and no one will hear or disturb him. But if you adapt to these conditions, show mutual desire and creative adaptation, then the work can be very effective.

Education and qualifications of a psychologist

A psychologist must have a higher specialized education. Let's say a diploma of professional retraining. Give preference to specialists who improve their skills through additional training in selected areas of psychology.

Each psychologist has one or more main areas of work.

For example, Gestalt therapy, art therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, etc. Each direction has its pros and cons in relation to a specific problem, so choose what is closest to you personally. And remember - if one method did not help, this does not mean that another will not help. Here you have to go by trial and error.

Professional community of psychologists

Check with the specialist whether he is a member of any association or other association of psychologists. Why is it important?

Members of professional communities are psychologists with confirmed status.

People are not accepted into such associations without the appropriate education. They monitor compliance with professional ethics and principles of confidentiality, since the personal reputation of the participants affects the status of the organization itself.

Supervisor

To maintain high standards of psychological practice, professional assistance from colleagues is actively used. More experienced specialists with high competence accompany young psychologists. They help find solutions to difficult moments in work, discuss issues of improving the quality of services, teach how to avoid professional burnout, etc.

Find out if your psychologist has regular supervision or has a regular mentor.

What should I do if I want to change psychologist? Should I talk about this with my current specialist?

Our needs change over time, and the psychologist we work with may no longer suit our needs. It `s naturally. We may come to the conclusion that we need a psychologist with different input data, for example, a different gender or age. Or maybe we decided that we want a specialist who works in a different approach. Or, in general, our priorities have changed and we now want to pay more attention to work, life goals and take, for example, coaching sessions. When work ends naturally, it ends on positive feelings. You have taken everything you need and are now setting out for a new experience. This is cool!

It's another matter if you want to end therapy feeling irritated and angry. When misunderstanding and stupor arose in the work. Here it is necessary to clarify this with a psychologist. After all, not everything in therapy is as rosy as it might seem at first glance. Sometimes there are so many negative feelings towards a psychologist that they go straight over the edge. For me, this is a bell and a signal that the environment has become safe and the client can now express not only socially acceptable feelings, but also unacceptable ones. This is an important stage of therapy, which necessarily occurs during long-term work. And if the client considers it inappropriate for himself to be with another in such feelings, then he will not express them. Which will create a lot of tension and make work impossible. This doesn't change your right to change therapists, but it can give your work a chance to reach the next level.

But in any case, before you start working with another specialist, you need to end the relationship with the previous one.

Moral and ethical qualities of a psychologist

The psychologist is required to have maximum tactfulness, the ability to win over the child, instill in him trust and a desire to share his fears/problems. Who you should definitely not contact is a specialist who:

• allows himself to be rude or rude when talking with parents or a child;
• devalues ​​what you say;
• puts forward hypotheses in advance and makes diagnoses without seeing the child;
• does not adhere to the principle of confidentiality;
• does not explain his working methods, ideas and approaches to solving the problem;
• puts pressure on the child or on you.

Also pay attention to organizational issues.

A good psychologist will never reschedule a visit unless it is related to some kind of emergency. Will not change the cost of services and guarantee quick results.

It is also impossible to determine in advance how many sessions will be needed to improve the child’s condition.

How to do this correctly?

Evaluate the presentation of information about the psychologist you choose and try to avoid high scientific titles, extensive experience in television shows and thousands of subscribers on Facebook, since such popularity characterizes a person either as a theoretical specialist or as a master of words and plot creation, and most people need to find a specific solution to their complete mundane life or cope with difficult feelings. A doctor of science may become confused if you cry, a writer of articles will bombard you with terms and teachings, and the creator of a TV show will drive you crazy. Choose lesser-known psychologists, but constantly practicing people; they have the necessary qualities.

These are the first exceptions that you will need to make, but not the only points that will help you decide how to choose a good psychologist, because there are age differences and the topic of the situation you are addressing, which will determine further filtering of specialists according to their qualifications. Although, if it strikes you that this is your person, then stay with him, since the main thing in psychotherapeutic work is good contact and a trusting relationship.

How to choose a good psychologist without asking about his education and specific specialization remains a mystery, since it is the knowledge gained, work experience and specific specialization that speak about a specialist. Since now even hairdressers and taxi drivers consider themselves psychology gurus, do not hesitate to ask to see certificates and diplomas, ask for various details.

What you need to see: a diploma of higher education in the specialty of psychology (not monthly or even year-long courses, but a full-fledged education), certificates confirming additional education of a psychologist in the topic with which you are applying (there are child and family specialists, those who work in crisis situations and with career building, psychologists specializing in diagnostics and clinical, and a host of others). It would be great to make sure that a person has more than three years of practical experience, but this is not necessary, since there are absolutely zero specialists with fifteen years of experience and gifted graduates.

The first conversation will help determine the psychologist’s attitude towards the therapy process. If, without understanding the problem, but only after hearing its designation, you are assigned a certain number of sessions, then most likely you have come to the wrong place. Of course, there are schools and techniques that require a certain number of meetings, at certain intervals, but a psychologist can prescribe such types of therapy only after a thorough study of the case, your entire life, which requires at least three meetings.

It is important that even in the first stages, you should feel the changes, have material to think about between meetings, as well as some tasks or new behavior patterns. If you leave with the same thing you came with, it means there was no work. Just don’t confuse the lack of changes with bad emotions - raising layers of difficult experiences is an integral part of working through the problem, so a temporary deterioration in the emotional state is possible, especially when working with psychological trauma.

Any value judgments and attempts to attribute you to any classification, just like quickly writing out a unique prescription and acting according to a scheme, are unacceptable. The normal course of the process will look surprising to both of you, and a good specialist will never classify you into any category; at most, he will speak out about predisposition, because he knows how different combinations of different traits can be in people.

Myths about psychologists

There are a number of myths in any professional environment. Psychology is no exception. During your search for a specialist, you will likely encounter one or more erroneous, but very persistent, beliefs.

For example:

• a male psychologist will find a better approach to a boy, and a female psychologist, respectively, to a girl. This is actually not true. The success of therapy is determined by the professional training of the specialist and the client’s desire to work with his problem. The gender of the psychologist is completely unimportant. The main thing is to establish trusting communication during the session;
• with complex cases, it is better to contact older psychologists - they have more experience. Yes, experience is very important. But experience is not the same as length of service. A specialist can work for 20 years, but throughout his entire practice he will not encounter certain types of problems, or he will encounter them indirectly or rarely. And a young psychologist who has chosen a narrow specialization can gain impressive experience on a specific problem in just a few years;
• The more titles (regalia) a psychologist has, the better he is. Yes, good education, experience and constant professional development are the key to the fact that you are a real professional. But there is also a human factor: a child may not make contact with a seasoned psychologist, but will quickly find a common language with a young specialist;
• A psychologist working with children must have children of his own. A competent specialist knows how to separate personal life and work. Therefore, the presence/absence of children of a psychologist does not affect his professional activities in any way.

Real stories for inspiration

What really inspired me.

1. Last year, my friend and I got part-time jobs in a call center. We were still undergoing training at that time, and arrived a little early, waiting on chairs in the hall. A girl was sitting next to us, and we started talking. It turned out that she wanted to become a photographer and was going to buy a camera with the money she earned there. Then it turned out, however, that in a month you could only earn enough for a twelfth of this camera. But, nevertheless: there is a clearly defined goal here, and a path to it. I hope she got what she dreamed of.
2. There is a girl in my class who does amazing manicures and gel polish. The nails of all my classmates are her works of art. She already has an established client base (by the age of sixteen!). However, it got awkward when her boyfriend's mom tried to pay her for J's manicure.
3. Some time ago, I myself was at the employment center and took a career guidance test. The psychologist asked me for a long time what I liked to do. I told her that I loved children very much, and she told me about how her niece taught children from some volunteer center. Now these children are like family to me, they always run to hug me when I come to give them English lessons.

There are also bad examples

1. I recently talked to a guy who is graduating from university in the most boring major in the world. I won’t specify which one, so as not to offend anyone. I just want to say that the words about a boring profession are his own. By the end of the eleventh grade, he still had not decided on a profession, so his parents decided everything for him. He doesn’t know what to do next.
2. I have a friend from a large family. Wants to become a teacher. It so happened that her parents work constantly, and she, as the eldest daughter, raises all the other children. As punishment, which came as a shock to me, she forces them to their knees. And regarding his future profession, he says this: “Right now I don’t want to do anything, I’ll learn, and then I’ll go work with children.”

How my grandfather chose something he liked As I said above, he is the owner of a petting zoo. Since childhood, he loved animals very much and every time I came to see him, he always told me something about them. Either he’ll give me a book about fish, or he’ll take me to the bird market, or we’ll go buy German shepherds together. For a while he even had his own pet store. He says that as a child (about five years old) he sold snails to his peers.

Call a psychologist

In order not to waste either your time or the psychologist’s, during the first call, try to find out the main organizational points:

1. What methods does a psychologist use? Are they suitable for solving your problem?
2. At what age can you go to an appointment with children (not all specialists work with children under 5 years old).
3. What is the education, experience and qualifications of this psychologist? Don't hesitate to ask, these are completely normal questions.
4. Are there any additional services? In addition to individual consultations between a psychologist and a child, many specialists practice psychodiagnostics of children, group therapy, trainings for parents, etc.
5. How much time is available for regular appointments with this specialist? If you work or for some other reason can visit a psychologist at certain hours, then the coincidence of your schedules is one of the important points.
6. Check the duration of the appointment, price and method of payment, as well as the conditions for canceling or rescheduling the visit.

Is it possible not to answer those questions that seem awkward to me?

You definitely have the right not to answer awkward questions. The main thing here for me is to talk to the therapist about my experiences, to clarify my reactions with him. Tell the psychologist that the question is awkward or unpleasant for you. This can be very important for therapy, because behind your reluctance to answer there may be some story of yours that still causes pain. Or the opportunity to tell a therapist about what is acceptable for you at work and what is not. This will help build more trusting relationships in which work will be more effective.

There are always two people working in consultations - both a psychologist and a client. The more honest you are in your reactions, the more intense the work will be. Even if you don’t want to answer questions, don’t want to talk to a psychologist, and in general he’s annoying you today. All this makes it possible to explore new sides of yourself and your interaction with people, gain new experience and carry it from the psychologist’s office into life.

First visit

As a rule, at the first consultation the parents are with the child. The psychologist asks questions, listens to complaints, and makes an initial assessment of the situation. Then he determines the type of psychological assistance that will be provided to the child, as well as the format of consultations (alone with the child or in the presence of parents).

Listen to your inner feelings after the first meeting with a specialist. Does he inspire confidence in you? What impression does it make? Was the psychologist able to establish emotional contact with you and the child? Trust your intuition.

Assessing your capabilities

An important step in choosing your direction is an objective assessment of your capabilities.

The question of how to choose a profession should be approached as responsibly as possible, since here it is important to overestimate or underestimate your strengths. A future professional needs to determine what he does best:

• love of cooking - cook, pastry chef;
• fashion – worker in the fashion industry;
• literature – journalist;
• love of art - creative professions;
• the ability to do something with your own hands - a builder, carpenter, car mechanic, garment industry worker.

Very often, the best advice on how to choose a profession comes from a person’s hobby. This is one of the most successful choices, since your favorite hobby becomes a source of material income.