Some women fall in love just because they can trust a man. In other words, they can open their soul to this person, let him into their personal space, and entrust him with their innermost thoughts and feelings. Very often, trust is compared to a glass vase: if it breaks, it can be glued back together, but it will never be the same. It’s the same with trust: once burned, a person can stop trusting others for the rest of his life. But without trust you cannot build strong and harmonious relationships. In this article we will talk about the psychology of trust and how to build a trusting relationship with your loved one.
Why is it important to trust each other in a relationship?
At psychological trainings, they often conduct a wonderful exercise on trust . The person takes a place in the center of the room, and the rest of the participants stand around him. A person’s task: close his eyes and start falling so that those around him will catch him. Surprisingly, not many people can do this exercise because they don't trust people. The situation is similar in love: we must find a person who would “catch us” in any situation, and we must be able to trust ourselves.
At the beginning of a relationship, we usually carefully look at a person and decide whether to trust him.
We expect a man to be trustworthy in the following situations:
- When we ask him to carry out any assignment, to do something;
- When we observe his behavior in the company of other women: is he interested in flirting, is he admiring a long-legged beauty;
- When we ask for help and support in a difficult situation.
Sometimes a woman cannot correctly analyze a man’s behavior and understand whether he should be trusted. A man’s reliability is manifested in small things, and a woman intuitively senses this.
You should not trust a man who has betrayed your trust several times. There is virtually no chance that his behavior will change in the future.
Too many questions
Often, when meeting or on a first date, women literally bombard their companions with questions:
“What is more important to you - family life or career?”
“How reliable are you on a scale of one to one hundred?”
“How did your last relationship end?”
Agree, this model of conversation is more reminiscent of an interview rather than pleasant communication. By asking too many questions to a man you don’t know yet, you are literally pushing him to the exit.
Yes, most likely he will simply run away. After all, a million questions “on nerves” are one of the signs of distrust. With their help, you compare your companion with someone ex and mentally check the box: “it seems that this person will not hurt me”... But when building a new relationship, you should think not about possible disappointment, but about your future happiness.
How do you know that a man can be trusted?
Observe the manifestations of his character in various situations.
A man is trustworthy if he:
- Honest and decent;
- Confident and knows how to achieve his goals;
- Has life experience and knows how to cope with difficulties;
- Able to listen and understand the interlocutor;
- Behaves decently with unworthy people;
- Treats other women with respect and speaks with dignity about her former relationships;
- Behaves in society in a cultured and polite manner;
- Knows how to control himself.
If you doubt whether you should trust a man, listen carefully to what he likes to talk about. Pay attention to what he laughs at - this is his value system. Trust a man if he laughs not at other people, but with them. And even more so, you should trust a man who knows how to laugh at himself.
Components of a happy family
There are three important components to a family:
- mutual love
- full understanding of each other
- confidence
Add affection and devotion, and you get a good full-fledged family. But in order to have complete trust, a person needs to “pass” several real tests of spiritual intimacy in life. This is how “spiritual love” grows in a relationship when complete mutual trust reigns. Here they usually say that “I trust him as myself”... that’s what it’s about!
Without trust, it is hardly possible to build a good, harmonious family. But what to do if trust in the family is lost, and there is no way to restore it!
Trust is like nerve cells; it is practically never restored. But you won’t constantly change your husband because of a loss of trust, which means you need to somehow learn how to restore it. And it’s even better to know the reasons so as not to lose the trust of the person closest and dearest to you. How to restore trust in a relationship?
How to learn to trust a man in a relationship
Do not judge all men equally; there is a very high chance that you will meet a worthy man on your life path. Even if you have had a negative experience that makes it difficult for you to trust men, you need to try to forget the past and move on.
We understand that it is difficult to restore lost trust, so we have selected useful recommendations for you:
- Work on yourself , change your attitudes and way of thinking. Think about the real reasons for your mistrust. Sometimes a woman cannot trust men because there were traumatic events in her childhood, for example: the divorce of her parents, a difficult situation in the family, rejection by peers. In order to identify negative attitudes, you can engage in self-analysis or consult a psychologist. A specialist will help you analyze your past experiences and change your worldview for the better.
- Analyze how mistrust affects your relationship with your loved one. Perhaps if you trusted him more, many problems in your couple could have been avoided. You both could be happier.
- Learn positive thinking. Imagine what the worst thing can happen if you trust a man? This is probably a breakup for one reason or another. Now look at the situation from the other side: how many pleasant, happy moments do you lose if there is no trust on your part in the relationship? You should be glad that you met a person and fell in love with him, and not a single couple is immune from possible separation.
- Increase your self-esteem. Praise yourself more often and drive away negative thoughts. Don't allow yourself to self-flagellate. Some women dislike themselves so much that they are constantly in tension, expecting deception from loved ones. Love yourself and remember: you truly deserve to be happy.
- If you continue a relationship with a man who has already betrayed your trust once, try not to remember an unpleasant moment from the past . Each of us has the right to make a mistake, the main thing is that our partner realizes it and changes his behavior.
runaway Bride
Arrange a meeting with a man and not show up. Change plans at the last minute and stay home instead of going on a date. What is this - complete selfishness or subconscious fear?
Often students come to my trainings who, being beautiful and smart women, are so disappointed in men that they put off starting a new relationship as long as they can: “I don’t know him enough yet. Let’s talk for another six months or a year, and maybe then...”
But with such an attitude towards life, “then” may not come at all. Pull yourself together and take risks, and to “insure” yourself, enlist the support of experienced coaches in the field of love and relationships. In the end, a date in a cafe or an invitation to visit a man abroad does not oblige you to a relationship. What if he is the very man of your dreams, and you lose him due to banal indecision?
How to build trusting relationships in a couple: useful tips
- Be honest. Don't be afraid to openly express your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Talk about fears, concerns, awkward moments, what you don't like in the relationship. If you are afraid to show your partner the worst side, then there is no trust between you. A truly loving person will accept you for who you are and appreciate your sincerity. You should not tell a man about physiological details (for example, about painful depilation) or overly intimate moments, because a woman should be a mystery.
- Be yourself. Do not “try on” in a relationship the image of a woman who you really are not. If you are a quiet and modest person in life, you should not force yourself and try to become the star of the party in order to impress a man. On the contrary, you should tell him that you feel awkward in a noisy company. If a man cares about you, he will take care of you and will not allow you to feel uncomfortable.
- Listen carefully to a man when he tells you something. Do not interrupt without listening, do not ask leading questions, do not change the topic if the conversation is not interesting to you. A man needs to know that you will listen to him; should feel that you care about his words. Having realized that you can be trusted, he will try to ensure that you can trust him fully.
- Don't be tactless when trying to get to know a person better. Respect your man's past, past relationships and life events, even if you feel negative about some aspects. You should not persistently ask inappropriate questions, for example, about the reason for his breakup with his previous girlfriend, if he himself does not want to talk about it. Over time, when your relationship becomes more trusting, he himself will tell you everything he sees fit. Do not criticize his behavior, do not let your reasoning be reduced to two extremes of good/bad.
- Comment on your behavior . In order to avoid getting into an awkward situation and gain the trust of your partner, you need to explain to him the details of certain events and the reason for your behavior. For example, he witnessed a situation where you were yelling at your mom on the phone. Explain to your partner why this happened so that he does not perceive you as a cruel and ill-mannered person. Another example: you are texting with your ex-boyfriend. Don’t wait for your partner to start asking questions; briefly tell yourself what was discussed. Thanks to your behavior, your partner will begin to behave in a similar way.
- Never sort things out in public . Protect your relationship from interference from third parties, even your closest friend. It is better to discuss all mutual claims face to face. Carefully keep your loved one's secrets and do not discuss intimate details of your relationship with strangers.
- Give compliments to your beloved man and praise him more often . But only if he deserves these words. If you don't like a man's actions, you should say so immediately. When criticizing a man, do not forget to praise him. It is very important that your partner understands: you are not unhappy with him, but with his behavior.
In a relationship, it is very important to trust your loved one. If your life motto sounds like the adage “Trust, but verify,” try to make sure your partner doesn’t know about it. There is nothing more unpleasant than finding out that your loved one doesn't trust you.
Did you like the article? Share with friends:
Infidels are not allowed to enter
If a girl was once abandoned, now she is very afraid of stepping on the same “rake” again. He is so afraid that he even writes about it in profiles on dating sites:
“Womenizers pass by”
“I am looking for a faithful and devoted one”
Men do not meet such women, do not invite them on dates, and, especially, do not start relationships. First of all, because they feel the same mistrust that runs like a red thread through the questionnaire. “You can’t go to a bar with friends or at a barbecue with colleagues next to this,” men think, and they turn out to be right. Let go of the situation of the past days and start a new relationship with a clean slate - without groundless accusations.
