What is destruction? Translated from Latin, destructio means “destruction.” Simply put, it is the antonym of the word “construction”. The term “destructive behavior” is more often used in relation to children and adolescents, but it is characteristic of all people, regardless of age. This is a pattern of behavior when generally accepted norms and rules are violated verbally or non-verbally.
Destructive behavior manifests itself at a turning point in life as a defense against an aggressor, an irritant, a reaction to current circumstances, and an open manifestation of one’s hostility. The actions of a destructive person lead others to bewilderment, but few people think about what the true reason for such destructive actions is.
What are we talking about?
Destructive behavior is a manifestation of a person’s internal activity in a practical or verbal way, the result of which is the destruction of something. As a rule, destructive behavior is aimed at communication between people, relationships, material objects, and one’s own physical or emotional state.
Simply put, when a person’s inner world is in danger, he begins to destroy everything around him: he is rude to people or animals, damages property, commits violent acts, etc. Often destructive behavior is also called deviant, and this, in fact, is correct, because destructive behavior is a regressive, negative form of manifestation of deviance.
Such behavior is considered a deviation from the point of view of medical, psychological and social attitudes, and leads to a decrease in a person’s quality of life, cognitive impairment in the perception of what is happening, emotional disturbances, and decreased self-esteem. The consequences of destructive actions can be different: from the “loss” of the individual from society to complete isolation.
Most often, this behavior is typical of adolescents, because they are experiencing turning points in their lives, age-related changes in the psyche occur; they encounter the first problems in society, misunderstanding on the part of adults, as a result of which destructive personality changes occur, which is expressed in destructive actions.
Destructive behavior manifests itself in:
- destructive change in character, temperament;
- formation of incorrect self-esteem;
- distortion of personal motives and needs;
- inability to control your behavior;
- disruption of relationships with people.
If you see a person who shows fear, intolerance, aggression towards other people, animals or material objects, and violates generally accepted moral norms and laws, then this is exactly what we are talking about.
In psychology, behavior is considered as a relationship between a stimulus and a reaction to it, and the reaction itself can be external and internal. The external one is manifested in movements, deeds and words, i.e., if we talk about a destructive reaction, it can be cruelty to animals, vandalism, terrorist attacks.
The internal reaction is expressed in emotional perception, motivation, and cognitive processing. Destructive behavior can also be directed “inside” the subject. The use of alcohol, illegal substances and suicide are all manifestations of destruction. In any case, an internal destructive thought will always find a way out and manifest itself in actions.
A destructive model of behavior always causes a negative reaction in people; it causes damage not only to the surrounding world, but also to the individual who manifests it. This is a kind of response to the current situation and the result of improper adaptation to society, the inability to regulate one’s psycho-emotional state. Destructive behavior has its own causes, therefore, before understanding how to “treat” it, you need to identify the source of the disease itself, and there may be several of them [N. Platonova, 2006].
Destructive and constructive emotions - what's the difference?
Photo by Ordinary Alien: Pexels
You are controlled by destructive emotions that are looking for a way out! There are so many of them that they can no longer be inside: “We want to be free!” they shout.
And they don’t just scream, they rush out, they start a revolution inside you! And what to do with them? So this article is just to help you.
Emotions are an instant reaction of the brain. They happen on their own, and you don’t choose them. This is a signal. They can prevent danger or cause you trouble. Emotions can be constructive or destructive.
- Constructive emotions are those that help you cope with the situation, help you “survive”, that is, go through the full cycle of the situation.
- Destructive (destructive) emotions are those that prevent you from “surviving” the situation, that is, they worsen it.
Constructive emotions are realistic—they are based on valid observations and reasoning. Destructive emotions are impulsive - they are based on misconceptions and illogical reasons.
In other words, if you are overcome by destructive emotions, this can lead to harm to yourself and others, both mentally and physically. The result of constructive emotions is your calm mind. What destroys a calm mind? Read on.
Causes of destructive behavior
So, to find out what is the reason for committing destructive acts, let's first turn to science. The human brain has a limbic system, which is responsible for controlling basic emotions, and a cerebral cortex, and its area of responsibility is cognitive functions (perception, information analysis, speech, motor skills, etc.)
There is an opinion that damage to the frontal lobe of the cerebral cortex enhances a person’s reaction to the influence of something from the outside, i.e. a person can become irritated even for the most insignificant reasons. Hence the inadequate reaction to provocation, impulsive behavior and aggression.
Scientists from England examined a group of unmotivated killers and found that most of them had an abnormal electroencephalogram. It is also known that those who experience temporal lobe epilepsy are more prone to unwarranted rabid outbursts than others. It turns out that dyscontrol is characteristic of those who have brain lesions [V. Efroimson, 2010].
According to other studies, there is a direct relationship between the presence of serotonin in the human brain and a destructive reaction. It turned out that depressed patients who took their own lives had significantly lower levels of serotonin in their brains than those who died from other causes. To confirm this relationship, animal experiments were conducted that showed that the most aggressive and active rats also had lower levels of serotonin in the brain [V. Bakhur, 1986].
There is an opinion that the presence of certain hormones also affects a person’s destructiveness. In particular, we are talking about testosterone. It is known that the men of the Yanomami Indian tribe have a warlike character. Wars constantly occur between them and neighboring settlements. Moreover, those of them who are capable of murder have almost 2.5-3 times more wives and children than the calmer representatives of the tribe.
Some studies indicate that war veterans also have higher levels of this hormone. However, it cannot be said with certainty that testosterone has a direct effect on human behavior; rather, it is an additional factor that shapes certain behavior patterns [L. Berkowitz, 2007].
It turns out that destructiveness has a certain nature of occurrence, but this does not mean that the tendency to destructive actions can be simply passed on from generation to generation. There are a number of other factors that influence the development of deviance. Conventionally, they can be divided into several groups:
- Biological Factors: Humans may be destructive by nature. These factors control the following characteristics: gender, age, health and endurance, physical structure, properties of the nervous system, etc.
- Psychological factors: destructive behavior is formed due to the influence of external stimuli and psychological characteristics that determine a person’s character. For example, heat, loud noise, geomagnetic fluctuations - these are all external factors that can cause aggression and other negative reactions. But favorable climatic conditions, on the contrary, can reduce the likelihood of destructive behavior.
- Social factors: these include the influence of politics, the media, social traditions, characteristics of the groups in which the person is located (social status, class, etc.), and close environment, for example, family.
Judge for yourself: now films with scenes of murder and violence, and crime reports are openly shown on television. This leads to the development of aggression. Bad movie characters become idols, and children and teenagers begin to copy their behavior.
Destructive behavior in adolescents is often associated with emancipation and imitation. Children strive to become adults as quickly as possible, to free themselves from parental control - this is emancipation. They begin to do everything in defiance, thus expressing their protest, and behave the way their idol does - this is an imitation. An authority figure can be someone who persuades children to do bad things. Teenagers are easily influenced, therefore, when they find themselves in a dysfunctional company, they quickly adopt the corresponding model of behavior.
Of course, the family has a special influence on the development of destructive behavior, because it is the family that instills in the child certain norms, rules and values. Children copy the behavior of their parents; they are influenced by all the processes that occur within the family. We are talking not only about relationships, but also about social status, financial situation, level of education, etc.
family-related causes of destructive behavior
- Manifestation of physical or psychological violence.
- Childhood psychological trauma: parental divorce, death.
- Excessive or insufficient parental control.
- Absence of one of the parents.
- Frequent change of parents.
- Excessive attachment to the child.
- Conflicts between parents regarding issues of raising a child.
The child does not immediately show aggression and commit destructive acts. Initially, he begins to experience pain, and if it is not noticed in time and the cause of this condition is not eliminated, it will develop into more serious forms of anger [E. Zmanovskaya, 2003].
According to psychologist Irina Zimina, the main reason for children’s destructive behavior is the suppression of their independence and initiative. Thus, conflicts arise, because children cannot realize themselves, develop their individuality, and all because of the excessive authoritarianism of adults.
It happens that parents remember their child only when some problem arises. It turns out that after the issue is resolved, the entire educational process ends, the child again becomes abandoned. How to attract the attention of adults? That's right - start behaving immorally.
Another reason is the monopolization of children by the school. Students protest against the high workload and strict requirements with inappropriate behavior, tardiness, absenteeism, and inappropriate appearance [I. Zimina, 2007].
According to Sigmund Freud, a bad attitude towards one’s own “I” is the reason for the development of destructive behavior. Alfred Adler believed that destructiveness occurs when a person feels helpless, dissatisfied and incompetent.
Erich Fromm argued that unrealized fruitful energy and obstacles to realizing their goals push people to destructive actions. He viewed destructive behavior as a person’s reaction to the destruction of normal living conditions [E. Fromm, 1973].
Let's summarize. Destructive behavior can have its roots in childhood or be a consequence of unfulfilled ambitions, goals and interests. Society, the socio-economic situation of the country, and the media have a particular influence on the formation of a certain model of behavior. Also, the reasons for behavior deviating from the norm are certain character traits given by nature, characteristics of the nervous system, head injuries and, of course, addiction to alcohol or drugs: for some, a glass of champagne will simply add to the mood, but for others this dose will be enough to show your best side.
What is destructiveness
The term is derived from the Latin word destructio, which means destruction, restructuring of something. Destructiveness in psychology refers to personality traits, the destructive influence of an individual on himself or on the outside world.
Famous psychoanalysts Sigmund Freud and Erich Fromm held different views on the nature of destructiveness. The first psychologist believed that it is inherent in all individuals and differs in direction. Fromm believed that destructiveness sometimes occurs, but it does not have to. If it arises, it is directed at the inner world of the individual and only then at the outer world (as a projection).
Destructiveness as a personality quality develops if a person cannot self-realize, his energy does not find a way out. Destructiveness is the result of obstacles to personal self-expression.
How does this manifest itself?
Destructive behavior has many forms of manifestation and can be aimed at destroying interpersonal relationships, the environment, and even oneself.
In relation to social objects, destructive behavior can be divided into several types:
- Intrapersonal: a person shows a neglectful attitude towards himself, drinks alcohol or illegal substances, does not take care of his appearance, does not observe safety when using technical equipment or while driving a car. Often isolated from everyone, prefers not to communicate with people around him and is prone to excessive public self-criticism. He expresses his experiences and psychological instability in his appearance: he gets tattoos, scars, etc.
- Interpersonal: Destructive behavior is expressed towards other people. A person expresses every possible disrespect for the interlocutor, tries to reduce his importance, due to this he increases his self-esteem. This includes insults, threats, slander, etc.
- Metapersonal: a destructive personality refuses to fulfill its role, for example, work or family. This manifests itself in the form of mobbing, bullying towards members of the group in which the person belongs, intergroup conflicts, riots, and failure to fulfill one’s direct responsibilities. This may include protest actions by those serving sentences. This is how prisoners show their disagreement with the rules and want to change the state of affairs by force [K. Zlokazov, 2016].
Tsezar Petrovich Korolenko, a Soviet and Russian psychiatrist, divided personality disorder into two main types : non-standard and destructive. The latter, in turn, is divided into externally destructive and internally destructive.
Externally destructive can be addictive - a situation when a person tries to escape from reality by using illegal drugs or any active actions, and antisocial - in this case the laws and rights of other people are violated in the form of immoral, immoral behavior.
Intradisruptive behavior is divided into the following types:
- Suicidal: a person decides to take his own life or is close to taking this step.
- Conformist: a destructive personality takes an example from authority, acts under the influence of someone.
- Narcissistic: a person lacks empathy, devalues relationships, is confident in his own perfection, and through his behavior tries in every possible way to increase his self-esteem while humiliating others.
- Fanatical: here we are talking about blindly following ideas, views.
- Autistic: a person is isolated from society, lives in a world of his own illusions [C. Korolenko, N. Dmitrieva, 2001].
Forms of destructive behavior include extremism, terrorism, and radicalism. Scientists believe that all these are links in a single chain. First, an uncompromising commitment to certain views and ideas appears (radicalism), then this commitment takes on extreme forms, and a threat to the safety of people’s lives appears (extremism). Further, the situation gains even more serious momentum and leads to fanaticism, as a result, terrorist acts are committed in order to achieve political, religious and other goals by violent means.
Extremism among young people has become a mass phenomenon in our time. Teenagers are on the threshold of a new life, they are faced with the first obstacles and problems, uncertainty, hence increased anxiety and stress. In this state, a person is capable of destructive actions not only of his own free will, but also under the influence of other persons [OMVD of Russia, 2019].
There are many classifications of forms of destructive behavior, but all ways of its manifestation are accompanied by a deterioration in a person’s standard of living, cognitive distortions, impaired self-esteem, psychological and emotional instability.
Daniel Goleman - About the Author
Daniel Goleman is a famous American psychologist and science journalist.
He wrote for The New York Times for twelve years, specializing in psychology and brain science. He has written more than 10 books on psychology, education, science and leadership.
He received worldwide recognition after the release of the book “Emotional Intelligence,” which remained on the New York Times bestseller list for more than a year and a half.
Goleman has received numerous awards for his research, including a lifetime achievement award from the American Psychological Association. He was elected a fellow of the American Association for the Advancement of Science in recognition of his work in the popularization of science. Twice nominated for the Pulitzer Prize.
Prevention of destructive behavior
The first rule that needs to be learned: in order to avoid the development of destructive personality behavior, you need to take care of its prevention. If the destruction has already gained momentum, then therapy will consist of registration in a psychiatric department, but it is better not to bring it to such a state.
Prevention of destructive behavior lies in the formation of certain qualities, in the socialization of the individual. It begins in the family and continues in educational institutions, so it is important to pay special attention to children’s adaptation to society, lay down norms and rules of behavior, and form the correct worldview.
At school, preventive measures are as follows:
- monitoring lesson attendance by children, especially difficult teenagers;
- tracking children's progress;
- involving students in social events, teamwork, sports sections and creative clubs;
- work on relationships within students’ families: teachers should be aware of difficult family situations, the negative impact of parents on children, etc.
- conducting correctional classes with students.
The primary task of teachers is to identify the preconditions for destructive behavior of students, pay attention to those who violate generally accepted discipline, and carry out preventive measures with them. Violation of discipline can include not only tardiness, absenteeism and inappropriate appearance, but also an insulting attitude towards classmates and students, causing damage to material assets [N. Vedmesh, 2020].
If a child behaves destructively, it means that there is some kind of internal or external contradiction that interferes with him. Parents need to maintain emotional contact with the child, be attentive to him, take an interest in his life, so that he feels like a full-fledged person and is able to separate “white” from “black.”
Here's what psychologists advise parents to avoid the development of a destructive pattern of behavior in a child:
- Pay attention to who your child communicates with: he may fall into bad company or join antisocial groups on the Internet. Children and teenagers are easily influenced by authority figures. A bad example is especially contagious for those who, due to their age, are on the threshold of change and are going through psychological restructuring.
- Teach your child basic safety rules: this way he will understand that he is responsible for his own life and will think ten times before doing something immoral.
- Pay attention to your relationship with your child: ask yourself, does he trust you? And you to him? Excessive control, authoritarianism or, conversely, permissiveness have a detrimental effect on his psychological state. If you show toughness, be prepared for him to respond in kind or be aggressive towards other people. If you have little interest in your child's life, this can lead to the development of feelings of loneliness and abandonment. Look for a middle ground.
- Identify the child’s crisis states in a timely manner: if he is tense, very upset about something, behaves impulsively, or, conversely, has isolated himself from everyone, it is necessary to understand the cause of this state and eliminate it. Maybe this is a manifestation of psychological instability, or a reaction to alcohol and psychotropic substances.
- Help your child self-determinate: children should be busy doing what they love. What hobby does your son or daughter have? If it is not there, provide the opportunity to try yourself in different directions, let the child choose something from which he will receive pleasure and positive energy. Support him in his endeavors.
- Take an interest in your child's affairs: this is a simple but very important question. You should be aware of his relationships with peers and teachers. Ask how your day went. This will make your child feel important.
- Pay attention to self-esteem: low self-esteem leads to a feeling of worthlessness. To cope with his feelings, the child begins to behave inappropriately.
- Be an example: Children imitate their parents. It’s not for nothing that they say that if something doesn’t suit your child’s behavior, you need to pay attention to yourself. How do you behave in society? Do you have healthy relationships within your family? Are you watching your speech?
- Provide the opportunity to choose: the child must be able to make independent decisions and take initiative. This fosters responsibility.
- Instill a love for development: children should be motivated to study and achieve goals, because... this helps to avoid self-destruction.
- Support in moments of failure: of course, some A’s are great, but a D’s is not a disaster. The child must understand that mistakes happen to everyone and this is completely normal. Help him in moments of anxiety and worry - this way he will learn to look constructively at difficult periods in life.
- Pay attention to a sudden change in behavior: this may be a consequence of internal experiences, the influence of a negative environment, or an indicator of growing up. If such changes are associated with a transition period, then adapt to the situation and support it. Does he want to be more independent? Provide this opportunity.
- Cultivate a tolerant attitude towards people: the child must understand that all people are different, respect their age, nationality, social status.
- If your child has been subjected to harsh treatment or has shown it towards others, respond immediately to the situation : this will prevent the development of stress and make it clear that any manifestation of behavior that does not conform to social norms entails some kind of punishment.
- Involve in joint work : firstly, this creates a sense of significance, and secondly, the child will direct his energy in the right and useful direction and will understand the value of work.
- Discuss actions : if the child has already shown himself on the bad side, then you need to understand the motives for his actions. Ask why the child did this? What did you want to achieve? This way you will understand what is bothering him and can solve the problem together.
- Avoid conflicts between adults within the family : when parents argue, the child feels powerless and at the same time feels both anger and love towards his family. Such contradictory energy finds outlet in destructive actions.
- Provide the opportunity to fully rest and meet their basic needs : if the child constantly feels tired, this will cause emotional stress and affect mental health.
- If you think that you cannot solve the situation on your own, seek help from professionals: parents may feel incompetent in raising and psychologically supporting their children. There is no need to be ashamed of this, because everything comes with experience or with the help of qualified specialists. And even if you cannot find a common language with your child, there is a solution. Take a look at our online program “Best Communication Techniques”: just a couple of months and you will have 72 techniques in your hands, collected from the best books and trainings.
- Keep up with the times: explore new youth trends, subcultures, abbreviations, etc. This way you will be on the same page with your child and will be able to understand in time that something has gone wrong, for example, if the child has joined an unfavorable society/community.
- Talk about your experience: using your example, you can show how to get out of a difficult situation, how to communicate with people. Share your experience of disappointment in relationships, stories from childhood, show that everyone goes through certain life stages and the child is not alone in this.
- Form values: the child must understand that destructive behavior is bad. The correct attitude towards others, oneself, health, and work should be instilled from childhood [A. Myasoedova, 2019].
Whatever the cause of the destructive behavior of a child studying at school, it is necessary to respond to alarming signals in a timely manner, identify the causes of such a pattern of behavior and eliminate them. The family and school must work together on this issue, because often what is not visible to the parents can be noticed by the teacher, and vice versa.
The tendency to deviate can manifest itself at any age and there are many reasons for the development of events: someone could not survive the loss, someone did not get out of a mental crisis or found themselves in a difficult life situation. If a turning point has already occurred, you need to take care in advance to ensure that internal energy and experiences find the right way out.
First you need to develop empathy. This way a person will learn to communicate, understand the feelings of other people, and get rid of aggression. You need to be able to support yourself in difficult times, to find support that will help you feel confident and protected.
If you find yourself in a difficult situation and are on the verge of committing a destructive act, try the following steps:
- Assess your physical condition: emotions are reflected on the body. Listen to him. What do you feel in your stomach, back, neck, chest?
- Be aware of your emotional state: compare physical sensations with emotions. Why do you feel tension in your neck or tightness in your chest?
- Understand whether there are impulses: does your physical and emotional state make you want to do something bad? If so, what exactly?
- Assess the consequences of possible actions : what will happen if you commit a destructive act? Will it cause damage or pain? It is the understanding of what can happen in the end that can stop you.
- Make a decision: do you have any other options for the development of events? What can lead to the best result? Think about something good, about what will happen if you do not show aggression.
You can come to a constructive decision through awareness of your thoughts and feelings. Creativity also serves as an excellent way to realize energy. Many great artists created their paintings in moments of emotion, and writers put their emotions on paper. Try it - perhaps you will not only get rid of tension and improve your inner state, but also discover a new talent in yourself.
Vulnerability – the position of an eternal child
There are people who don’t really need to be offended; they are constantly offended by everyone. Vulnerable individuals are not mature children who require special treatment. If he is not there, they immediately become offended, withdraw into themselves, become capricious and set conditions.
Being a vulnerable person is more expensive for yourself. After all, in the end, everyone will get tired of playing the “Princess and the Pea” game and refuse to communicate with such a person. And there is no need to attribute everything to a trembling soul and sacrifice. It's time to accept the world and the people living in it as they are, with flaws and mistakes.
Stop reacting to all sorts of little things, stupid jokes, provocations. Rise above this and remember once again: we are offended only when we are ready to be offended.
Summary
A destructive model of behavior is common to everyone, but it manifests itself at a difficult moment in life, when a person finds himself in a funnel of emotional and psychological instability. Behind any destructive action there is a specific reason, which is the trigger.
The modern development of the world not only brings benefits, but can also have a detrimental effect on the fragile psyche of adolescents, hence rash immoral acts or, even worse, crimes. The basic norms and rules of life are laid down in childhood by the family.
Particular attention should be paid to the prevention of destructive behavior in school. Teachers should also participate in raising children, in developing an understanding of what is bad and what is good. Only with an integrated approach to working with children and adolescents can the serious consequences of the child’s internal experiences be avoided.
Remember that parents set an example for their children. They copy their behavior and habits, so a lot depends on the climate in the house. Spend enough time with your child, talk with him about serious and abstract topics, create an atmosphere of trust and mutual understanding, take an interest in his life, and immediately respond to sudden changes in mood and behavior. This is not difficult, the main thing to remember is that prevention must be timely; it is easier to predict a difficult situation than to recover from its consequences.
We wish you good luck!
We told you about what destructive behavior is, what its causes are, and shared the main methods of prevention. And now we ask you to answer the question:
We also recommend reading:
- Storytelling
- What is conformity and how to avoid it
- Transactional Analysis
- Auto aggression
- Forms of social behavior of people
- Passive aggression
- How to protect yourself from rudeness: simple and effective rules
- Uncontrolled aggression, self-isolation and inaction: the influence of the body's physiological response on human behavior
- Auto-aggression: what it is, causes and forms in children and adults
- Neurobiology of Nonverbal Communication
- Black Triad
Key words: 1 Communication, 1 Psychoregulation
Patterns that have stuck with you since childhood
As a child, you may have been scolded for showing emotions such as crying, anger, aggression, sadness, or something else. For example, they said the following phrases:
- "Good girls don't cry"
- ● “You keep walking around sad, why don’t you smile?”
- “Shut up immediately, shame on you”
- “Is it possible to be angry with mom/dad?”
- "Don't you dare be afraid"
But you have already grown up, and the most important thing is that you must understand that everyone experiences negative emotions, they are an integral part of our lives and ourselves. If you have never been angry, angry, offended, or envious of anyone, then most likely you are either a robot or a stone.
John Kehoe: How to deal with negative emotions?
Science says that all emotions are natural and normal and that they only become destructive when expressed inappropriately. For example, it is normal to feel sad when someone dies, but a depressed person is sad in an inappropriate way. Therefore, you don’t need to scold yourself for the fact that sometimes the little devil wakes up inside you, just accept it in yourself, learn to understand your own emotions and manage them so that they do not cause destructive harm to you or the people around you.
Destructive consequences of conflict
An unmanaged conflict threatens both parties with a negative scenario for the development of relations in the future. If this is a conflict between 2 individuals, for example between a husband and wife, then over time it leads to a depressed state and disorganized behavior of each of them. A depressed person gets tired faster and copes worse with everyday responsibilities, which leads to an escalation of conflict and then the cessation of any relationship.
If we talk about the enterprise, there are several other extremely negative consequences. This is the loss of interest of employees in the direct production process, the inability to cooperate and dismissal.
Accentuation of character and type of behavior in conflict
During adolescence and adolescence, some distinctive character traits become clearly expressed. Then these characteristics (accentuations) leave an imprint on a person’s entire life, on the way he interacts with others and on his productive activities.
Accentuations are closely related to human behavior in a conflict situation. Typically, types with stronger emotionality and a desire for communication and dominance behave more aggressively in an argument and show rivalry. These are excitable, exalted and hyperthymic types of accentuation.
Cycloid types are more likely to compromise with their opponents. But opportunism and avoidance are chosen mainly by emotive individuals. Since their functions are to preserve public peace and be responsive to the problems of others.
