There are women who are good at everything, except that they masterfully throw tantrums. But they also have control. Meet: instructions for dealing with hysterics.
A hysterical wife, a hysterical girl, a hysterical boyfriend or even a hysterical husband - there are many of us. Yes, yes, I admit that I am also hysterical. And I understand perfectly well that most of you, especially men, hearing this, will walk around me a couple of kilometers away. However, with all our hysterics, we have many advantages. But you can live with us, you can love us. To prove this, I want to share simple and understandable instructions for using female hysterics.
LIFE WITH A HYSTERICAL
If a girl or wife is hysterical, everything was fine in the morning. She fluttered around the apartment in your shirt, ironed her dress, made coffee and painted her eyes. And you, remembering the past night, stretched sweetly and were absolutely happy that the best woman in the world crawled out of your bed an hour ago.
Just four hours later, when you are just about to go out for a bite to eat, you receive a strange message that conveys some dangerous emotion: either dissatisfaction or irritation. You call your loved one back in alarm and receive a barrage of confusion: “I don’t know how to live...”, “I thought you loved me...”, “What should I do now?..”
Crossing the threshold of the house, you receive a stream of incoherent accusations and a wedding service flying at you. What's happened? Where did the gentle smiling nymph go, whom you didn’t want to let go of your arms in the morning? Now you want only one thing: to disappear from the battlefield, to run away, forgetting even your toothbrush at home - anywhere, just as far as possible from this angry bitch.
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Sound familiar? So you've encountered female hysteria.
Hysteria concept
Initially, the term "hysteria" was applied only to women. Signs of hysteria in women included emotional demonstrative behavioral reactions, including:
- scream;
- tears;
- causeless prolonged laughter;
- paralysis;
- convulsive muscle contractions;
- loss of sensation;
- temporary deafness, blindness;
- increased sexual activity.
Hysteria was called “rabies of the uterus” and treatment consisted of exposure to the genitals. At first the doctor did this manually. Then vibrating machines were created. A little later, they began to use jets of water on the genitals for treatment. With the development of psychology, it was found that a woman can be calmed in other ways, and not all nervous breakdowns are the result of sexual dissatisfaction.
Today there is no diagnosis of hysteria. A correct chain of diagnoses was derived, which were characterized by certain symptoms and signs.
- Anxious hysteria.
- Dissociative disorders.
- Hysterical disorders.
- Somatomorphic disorders.
The old concept of hysteria in women most accurately defines the diagnosis - hysterical psychopathy.
Personality disorder is characterized by extreme concentration on one’s own person (egocentrism), the desire to attract more attention to oneself. Human behavioral reactions are often simulated.
Egocentrism provokes personality disorder and the development of hysterical psychopathy
Hysterical psychopathy in women manifests itself equally often as in men. According to the results of research by American scientists, 2-7% of the world's population suffer from constant breakdowns.
The disorder does not in every case lead to a breakdown in social ties or a decrease in professional skills. Some patients with this diagnosis become successful in the field of art.
Female hysteria is characterized by the desire to be in the center of attention at any cost and the inability to sensibly and adequately perceive criticism. Patients are highly suggestible, so their life journey often ends in complete collapse. Treatment through psychocorrection allows you to achieve sustainable compensation of behavioral reactions. But the disorder cannot be completely cured.
WHERE DOES THE HYSTERICAL WIFE COME FROM?
People don’t become hysterical, they are born hysterical. These are not whims and manipulations (although some calculating ladies successfully use hysterics for selfish purposes). This is not a desire to ruin your life. It's just a type of nervous system. Yes, nerves, as they say, are “to hell”, yes, they flare up at the moment. But remember how quickly she gets turned on by your gentle glance or fleeting touch. How it radiates joy and happiness from your attention. How interesting it is to discuss a film or book with her...
She's emotional. And this is her strength and weakness. You will never be bored with her, but the price will be the need to face hysterics.
What you need to understand is this: hysteria is pure emotion. No logic, no common sense. Something seemed to her - she was thinking about it. And with every minute her thoughts seem more and more realistic to her. An hour later, she sincerely believes that her fantasy is more than the truth, that you don’t love her, don’t appreciate her, don’t want to be with her. And she continues to look for confirmation of this in your behavior from the moment you met. Alas, she cannot do anything about it, because she is “carried.” And if you don’t provide her with support, she will scatter the scraps of your relationship around the world. And then for the rest of her life she will cry bitterly for not being able to restrain herself. Although she couldn't help herself.
"Barely Alive"
By the way, Sigmund Freud devoted a significant part of his research to hysterics and hysterics. He believed that many diseases were actually rooted in hysteria, which could imitate any disease. For example, a hysterical person may refer to a headache, and everyone believes in this imitation, which looks very believable.
“Hysteria and the imitation of certain sufferings do not happen out of spite for anyone: it is innate. When a hysterical person falls to the floor and convulses, simulating an epileptic attack, this is a reaction to an external, usually negative, stimulus. Thus, a hysteroid can involuntarily imitate any disease,” explains the psychotherapist. – In Israel, I worked in a private clinic, and I was called to see a girl about 22 years old. Her boyfriend left her, she was lying at home, could not get up. She assured that her legs and arms were paralyzed and she could not move. If I had told her that she was hysterical, and her condition was a consequence of psychological trauma, she would have been offended, so I did something more cunning. I asked for something to drink, she said that I could get everything I needed in the kitchen refrigerator (she herself was supposedly a bedridden patient). I went there, found everything, but shouted to her that the refrigerator was empty. And then she, outraged to the core, cheerfully galloped into the kitchen. Then I explained to her the reason for her sudden paralysis, and we parted quite amicably.”
Another girl, already in Moscow, could not go to school every morning, where she was bullied - she vomited. Nothing like this happened on Saturday and Sunday, but the need to go to school caused just such a reaction.
“Hysteria was a reaction to bayonets. Such stories, of which I know a lot, demonstrate that hysteria can unconsciously cause all sorts of subjectively quite severe manifestations in people, and you can get rid of them only by resolving this traumatic situation. Or, for example, one of my friends is hysterical. I asked him the other day: how did you get there? He: “Don’t ask, I’m barely alive, you’re calling me so late - at 9 pm!” I ask him what he is taking. He: “Well, what can I take, painkillers, I can barely breathe.” Then I tell him a joke, and he starts laughing, the disease is blown away by the wind. Doesn't go to the theater, doesn't read newspapers. Doesn't understand how the Internet works. He needs people to dance around him, order cars, and cook food. He doesn’t know how to use a washing machine, he calls his ex-wife and says: “I need to wash it,” says the doctor.
By the way, this behavior typical of a hysteroid explains why many women have been waiting for decades on dating sites for a prince who must “serve the lady” - please in everything and bring gifts. At the same time, it is also advisable to leave hot food prepared by yourself under the door, ring the doorbell and modestly run away, bending to the ground. If we proceed from the hypothesis that most women are hysterical, they can only react to the outside world in this way and in no other way.
If the hysterical person is in a relatively adequate state, it’s not so bad. But if she is going through a period of exacerbation, interacting with her is more expensive. In order to survive and not go crazy, it is better for a man to run away in such situations - but not to serve the lady, but in the exact opposite direction, the psychotherapist is sure. “A hysterical woman in the decompensation phase cannot be trusted; she will change her point of view five times within an hour; she cannot be relied upon. Manifestations of hysteria must be moderate, or the only option left is flight,” the doctor emphasizes.
WHAT NOT TO DO IN FEMALE HYSTERICAL
The only thing that should never be done if a woman is hysterical is leaving her alone. A man, based on his own experience of experiencing feelings, thinks like this: I will move to a safe distance and give her time to calm down. And then I’ll quietly return and find her normal again.
No! That's exactly how it won't work. If you see that a woman is hysterical, the first thing you should do is tell her: “I’m here, I’m with you, and we’ll figure it out.” Even if you are at work and can’t spend even five minutes talking on the phone, write her a message promising to come home as early as possible and find out everything. Thus, you will significantly reduce the intensity of passions raging in the souls of your chosen one. You can be sure: if you don’t tell her that you still love her, that you are ready to listen to her (even if not right now, but in the evening), by the time you arrive she will reach such a state that it’s time to give her a broom , not a handkerchief.
What are the causes of breakdowns?
First you need to figure out why the girl is hysterical.
Is her emotional storm just a burst of emotions or does she like to tickle your nerves? It is quite possible that the root of the problem is the guy's behavior. Think about how you treat a woman - are you offending her? Maybe she is waiting for an apology, but no initiative comes from you. Or you are simply not suitable for each other, but endure and break down regularly.
In addition, a hysterical girl can make trouble at times.
Do you know what I mean? Menstrual cycles sometimes turn even the most gentle ladies into angry vixens who are unhappy with everything, from the fact that you didn’t wake her up with a kiss to the slurping at the table. Of course, this is not good, but hormonal surges are often simply uncontrollable and, no matter how much she wants, a girl cannot defeat the “dragon” of menstruation within herself.
The situation is much worse if such behavior is an integral part of a woman. What to do if your girlfriend is hysterical to the core? She just loves to shake her nerves, like an energy vampire, and doesn’t know how to live any other way. They use emotions to manipulate their partner. For example: a lady is capricious, screams, and then receives some expensive thing from a guy and shuts up for a while. Alas, this is a fact of life and there are such “ladies” in our world.
Perhaps, before her independent existence, such a girl observed similar behavior of her mother all her life and adopted everything from her, absorbed it like a sponge. As a result, a narrow view of the world has formed, and the lady may not even realize that life without constant screams and hysterics is possible.
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HOW TO PUT OUT A HYSTERIC
The source of any hysteria is uncertainty and fear. The woman thought something happened, she has a lot of questions, she suddenly doubts your love, loyalty, God knows what else - and is stewing in the cauldron of her horror. She would be glad to get out of the emotional tailspin, but she can’t. She got caught - it's up to you to save her.
So the first thing you should do is find out what she is afraid of. So directly ask: “What are you worried about? What could happen, what are you afraid of? And be prepared to listen until she stops talking.
Then the most interesting and, in general, uncomplicated part begins. I have already listed the most common fears - being unloved, abandoned, not valued enough. When you hear what a woman is afraid of, respond sincerely and lovingly. You don't want to cause a new hysteria, do you? So, answer the questions, reassure her, say that you love her and, with the help of logic and gentle words, convince her that her fears are unfounded, and she is the best and most beloved for you.
Memory lapses
Another feature of the hysteroid is the repression of negative memories. The innate protective mechanism of most people, manifested in the reaction to severe stress, is denial, an initial disbelief in a particular traumatic event, a refusal to accept it as truth. But over time, the ordinary psyche accepts this reality, reacting to it either with depression or, on the contrary, with increased activity, and the hysteria goes further.
Denial becomes dominant in him - to the point that the hysteric can simply displace and erase the traumatic event from memory. Other psychotypes can also respond to stress by repression, but the hysterical gets stuck at this stage for a long time, which is what makes it different from others. At the same time, psychotrauma is not primary and is not the cause of hysteria - on the contrary, first a person is born hysteroid, and then only reacts to things and events in a certain way, characteristic of his psychotype.
It is believed that in an ordinary person the core of personality does not change - only a mental illness, for example, schizophrenia, can change it. Therefore, if a person was born a hysteric, he will die as one.
“These are people who cannot realize themselves in anything else, but, nevertheless, this hysterical radical does not allow them to be ordinary. Many popular artists or musicians at the end of their careers become very religious and become priests, changing one audience for another. Or, for example, on television I quite often come across an expert lawyer who really loves soft pink and lilac socks. One famous presenter also loves red socks, which says a lot about his character. This is innate, and it is almost impossible to change it,” explains the expert.
Most often, as practice shows, people do not reflect on grotesque manifestations of hysterical character traits, which hinders them both in society and in their personal lives. But, despite the fact that it is extremely difficult to correct such a condition, it is still worth working through such issues with a psychologist. This may not turn the hysterical person into a more balanced person, but at least it will help him understand himself.
Treatment: learn to manage yourself. Self-analysis needed
It is necessary to understand where hysterical behavior comes from. It is important to track each of your emotions, not to let it just be, but to understand the essence of the origin of anger, resentment, and pain. By understanding the cause and essence, you can control the occurrence of this emotion. If you live in a family, it is unacceptable to poison the lives of your loved ones, just as you cannot give them complete control over yourself.
Be honest with yourself, learn to love, respect and appreciate yourself. Work, increase your self-esteem, destroy painful pride. And then you will become your own best friend and learn to trust yourself. This is the first step to happiness.
Stronger sex
A hysterical man—it doesn’t even sound human. There are typical female ailments, for example, anorexia. Likewise, women are mostly susceptible to hysteria.
Doctors and psychologists believe that hysteria in men can manifest itself as abdominal pain, which symbolizes the desire for pregnancy. According to the dictionary of psychoanalysis, a man with hysterics declares himself as a subject belonging to the female clan and making attempts to realize his virility through seduction, and the world must accept him as unique. With his behavior, this man makes a woman beg for a date with him as a gift from God, and a night with him is the highest reward on a planetary scale. A hysterical husband is an unbearable person.
What contributes
Hysteria is a painful hypertrophy of human character traits, which is based on a certain method of nervous response inherent from birth. The disease progresses and flourishes during education and if there are no restraining factors.
Who is this hysterical wife? This is a creature that you, a man, have most likely allowed to blossom like this. Even if she came from her parents like this, then you, a man, could not reason with your lady, whose abnormality and rage are dangerous to society.
How should a man behave?
To summarize the information, let’s consider point by point what a guy needs to do during a girl’s tantrum:
- do not give in to her condition and emotions;
- do not ignore or avoid the scandal;
- do not be rude, do not offend;
- try to show care and tenderness;
- try to understand the reasons for the lady’s behavior;
- don't resort to extremes.
Of course, if you understand that a girl is “sucking” your strength, manipulating you with hysterics and making your existence unbearable, then you shouldn’t endure it.
We are talking about conscious manipulation of you. Well, if you understand that the storm of emotions is uncontrollable and spontaneous, then, like a real man, fight for what is dear to you. Hi, friend!
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We come home to relax and unwind, but instead we get a portion of selected crap. Who would want to come home after this? Then deceptions, betrayals, avoidance of meetings, etc. begin. In my opinion, it is not at all reasonable to continue to maintain such a relationship.
Russia
There have been rumors about demoniacs since the 11th century. In the 17th-19th centuries in Russia, hysterical women were called cliques. Traditionally, it was believed that in their fits they shouted out the name of the one who cast the spell on them. Therefore, those who were called klikushi were brought to trial in the 17th century, they were accused of witchcraft, tortured, and the klikush were punished by reprimanding. At the beginning of the 18th century, it became clear to Peter the Great that cliques often pursue the goal of slandering the innocent, so they began to be brought to justice. Fake demonization was a common occurrence in those days.
The Taming of the Shrew: turning the three whales to face us
The principle of reasoning with girls of this type is very simple: the hysterical woman must be brought to the point that she herself wants to do what you expect from her.
They have three main character traits that can be turned to the benefit of the person living next to such a lady. You can use their assertiveness, theatricality and suggestibility for your own purposes. Since they think it is possible to manipulate you, you too should be cunning. Instill in the young lady what you would like to receive from her, let her think that this is her idea, and you will readily, marveling at her ingenuity, follow her lead. Let there be slight hesitation on your part - the hysterics will have their leadership pride satisfied. With encouragement and deterrence, you will play on her assertiveness. Don't overdo it. By developing your imagination, you will turn your life, including your sexual life, into a good theater with a hysterical prima, where in fact you are the main puppeteer. And sex with such an emotional lady is simply unforgettable. The main thing is to gently inspire her with what you want yourself, and you will create in bed what you need, having received an obedient, excellent lover.
But there should be no pressure, she should think that she decided this herself, and under no circumstances should she figure out your game.
The mechanics of hysteria
Sadism is the suppression of one's emotions. If you have had a violent emotional explosion, anger, resentment and pain are splashed out, you experience a huge feeling of guilt. If you managed to restrain yourself, be proud of yourself. There may be several such pre-hysterical situations, or there may be many; everything is individual and depends on how much patience a person has. If you constantly suppress emotions, they accumulate, tension reaches the limit, and hysterics arise.
In most cases, neither the woman nor her partner is to blame. Efforts should be directed not to blaming yourself or to shame - try to change the situation. The loss of control is not special and completely unintentional; scolding yourself is completely useless, it only causes harm.
The partner-spouse is most often not to blame either, but what to do? The hysterical wife finds herself in such a disposition with her husband that she bursts into violent anger. Something should be changed, taking into account the interests of the partner.
The potential for hysteria accumulates when a woman feels that her beloved man, whom she trusts, her husband, partner, the one to whom she has entrusted her life, is slowing her down with his behavior or words, preventing her from trusting, instilling in her a feeling of fear, not giving to open up to her, to be able to completely dissolve in him, to love him, to receive full pleasure from life with him.
A woman constantly experiences frustrations, her love for her partner does not grow, she is constantly depressed and oppressed. And one day a storm of aggression rises in a woman, like a tsunami, because suppression is like a spring, the more you compress, the greater the return. And every little thing usually serves as a reason for hysteria. If the occasion is serious and major, the woman gets ready, puts aside her emotions and begins to think about what to do to avoid a serious disaster. And an insignificant, nasty and annoying reason also subconsciously frightens her by the fact that it will again pass unnoticed, and a whole pocket has already been filled with such trifles, and the last insignificant reason no longer fits there.
And so the woman throws a huge, ugly hysteria, the insignificant reason for which allows others to think that she is mentally ill.
Psychologists
Hysterical individuals are excellent psychologists who know where and when to apply pressure, where the interlocutor’s pain points and weaknesses are. They are able to portray arrogance and defenselessness, incredible stubbornness and impeccable submission.
Types of hysteria:
- Passive: the lady withdraws into herself and does everything under pressure, making it clear that if she does something, it is to make things even worse.
- Active - a hysterical wife, destroying everything she sees, breaking dishes, throwing away things that are dear to you, raising her hand against herself or those around her.
And it is not clear which of them is worse. It is possible to establish contact with such ladies by promising to make concessions. But if you give in once, if you adhere to this style, you can become his hostage. The hysterical lady plays for the audience, and as long as there is someone to “enjoy” this performance, her play goes off with a bang. The meaning is lost only when there is no one to react to her performances.
A hysterical person is an innate personality type, but you can play on the weaknesses of such ladies - it will even be interesting in bed. Such women carry their own negativity even in intimacy. They blame the man for his imaginary frigidity or inability to achieve orgasm.
