The term “selfishness” is familiar to many people. At the everyday level, this is understood to mean that a selfish person thinks only about himself and nothing more. But there is also a healthy component to this phenomenon; it lies in love and respect for oneself. The main thing here is the measure that must be observed. In any conflicts and disputes, the egoist acts as his inner voice tells him.
Sometimes these can be very offensive and inappropriate things, but what can you do? Going head over heels in defiance of everything and everyone is also typical for such people. When and under what circumstances can a representative of the fair sex be said to be selfish? At first, a girl may seem quite sweet and kind, but her nature only emerges after some time.
Egoist and society i
It’s a good time for a selfish representative to not take the initiative in communication. Alya - let the one who needs it start, I don’t need anything. This entails a number of problems associated with adaptation in society. The manifested arrogance does not allow her to meet people first. After all, a selfish woman has such conceit. But the desire to look good in the eyes does not go away; helping someone who asks for help will not be such an impossible task. People are not eager to ask for help from an arrogant woman and, under any pretext, try to avoid fulfilling her requests.
Causes of manifestation
The essence of a woman's selfishness in a relationship lies in the wrong behavior of her parents. Girls mistakenly perceive themselves as the center of the universe, growing up in a family:
- With one child, where she was taught that she was the best, things and toys were bought only for her, her whims were satisfied at the flick of an eyelash. Entering adulthood, a girl with such baggage of conceit will demand parental dedication from her partner, without thinking about his needs and desires.
- A room with many children, in which whoever sat down first ate. In such families, children are not always friendly and ready to help. Living in a large crowd of people, where parents spin like squirrels in a wheel, and are not able to pay much attention to their children, a girl may consider herself not loved enough and deprived. And having matured, he strives to get more and more from life. Inspired by childhood grievances, such a girl thinks only of herself in a relationship with a man.
Those close to you will easily notice the signs of a selfish girl, in a relationship with a man, expecting full return from a partner who is obliged for her sake to be successful, young, attractive and healthy. What she is able to offer to a man who matches her concepts is a big question.
Behavior with your loved one 2
It is very difficult to communicate and generally conduct a dialogue with an egoist; there are constant squabbles and raised voices. The behavior of such a girl during a conversation with a man boils down to the fact that she:
- Always stands your ground;
- Never gives in;
- Doesn't trust the man;
- Questions his words;
- Pursues only its own interests in all disputes and conflicts;
- Doesn't know how to give in;
- Reproaches a man for not being good enough.
Does the list seem small? These are not all the things that can be observed in communication with a selfish person. This can greatly offend men; not everyone can stand such an attitude towards themselves. In general, in order to withstand this, you probably need to love the girl very much.
Selfish... Selfish? Selfish!
From birth, the female sex grows to the accompaniment of these words addressed to them. It is rare that a woman does not have complexes on this basis.
The topic is exciting, so I suggest you look into it to understand what female egoism really is.
The first thing that society tells us in the person of our family is that selfishness means living for yourself. This is bad, you need to think about others first: be compassionate, feel sorry for your mother (usually with an unfortunate fate), be a helper, a hostess. So the young maiden grows up with an unbearable burden of responsibility placed on her fragile shoulders. She tries to be “good” at school and tolerates boys from her class who may bully her. You’re a girl, be wiser, be patient, he likes you, that’s why he behaves this way (just a murderous scenario that will later attract a tyrant’s husband). He goes to study where his parents say, because they, the selfish one, spent their whole lives on you, didn’t sleep at night, worked for you! You go and learn, you endure, you endure again so that others can feel good.
Then the girl goes to work, and here you have a ready-made specialist, a lifelong slave who is ready to do anything just to be “good.” Please go out on your day off for the good of the team. It’s a must to replace a colleague who needs a day off, I’m “good.” Stay after the end of the working day, yes, of course! After all, that’s what the bosses want; elders need to be respected.
I've succeeded as a specialist, now I need to get married. For a good man, everything is as it should be, you are the housewife, now make sure your husband is happy. Smile, put things in order, prepare breakfasts, lunches and dinners for him and for the whole family in the future. Don’t ask for anything for yourself, everything for the family, for the children, don’t be selfish - voices sound in your head.
An approximate scenario for the development of an average woman.
Real female egoism looks like this: when everyone around me feels good, then I feel good too. Do you understand? Not the other way around. It’s good for me, it’s good for others. No. First, give your all for others, no matter what the cost, then think about yourself (only, as a rule, there is no strength left for this). Since childhood, we have been called selfish for absolutely no reason. Because a woman by nature cannot be selfish. Her dharma is to be happy, beautiful and spread this aroma to others. If a woman is filled with energy, she shines like a city Christmas tree, you can see her for kilometers, you are drawn to her, you want to be next to her, because your soul is immediately warm and joyful.
But she is being raised to be an egoist in this very way. If you give your all for others, you will be happy yourself. In fact, the female psyche is very vulnerable; it is easy to impose on her a sense of responsibility, guilt for everything and everyone around her.
This is how it all happens: for years, for decades, a woman puts herself out for the sake of the happiness of others and at the same time waits, expects that this happiness will be returned to her (here it is, comrade egoism). He waits ten years, twenty, but somehow his happiness does not increase, his loved ones take everything for granted. What you did and brought joy (from the anticipation of happiness), over the years causes melancholy and despondency. Energy, strength, health (!) becomes less and less, depression and irritability begin. Your loved ones will become even more impudent (according to the law of karma), they need everything tastier, cleaner, and more attention. In jokes, this has long been described, what kind of woman should be a master on all fronts, so that her husband does not go to the left. The only paradox is that they still leave.
Now we move on to a true understanding of our nature and selfishness.
The correct scenario looks like this. A woman lives for herself, putting herself in the forefront, her desires, her needs, her feelings, her soul, her intuition. And she does everything first in order to make herself happy. Not mom and dad, not teachers, not husband, employer, and even (oh, God!) children, but yourself. Filling up like a vessel, at some point it all pours out onto those around her. This is that divine accumulated energy, mana, which brings true happiness to others, this is nutrition for loved ones, subtle, invisible energy that everyone craves so much, but at the same time wants to receive in the wrong way, squeezing it out of loved ones. And the secret is very simple.
Every woman naturally knows how to make herself feel good. You can see this on babies 2–5 years old. They put on dresses, show off in front of the mirror, make eyes, try to put on hairpins, bows, and beads. Look how they enjoy themselves! What kind of suns they are, you want to bask in these rays next to them. At this age they are princesses, they are entitled to everything! They are carried in their arms and their whims are fulfilled! Why? Because they are generators of this enormous energy of happiness! Fulfilling the desires of a woman of any age is like lighting a stove at home in thirty-degree frost. You will feel very cozy, warm and comfortable next to you. This energy can warm you up at any time, even the most difficult ones. By the way, this is why many people want so much, but cannot have children. Because inside there is too strong a desire to consume this innocent childish energy of happiness. Few people want to be a donor.
Then the girl grows up, she is immediately charged with responsibilities: instead of the status of a doll, she receives the status of a fidgeter; by adolescence she can no longer be beautiful, because... in the heads of parents/grandmothers it will be the same as a whore under the fence (this is how unrealized, suppressed sexual energy works in the older generation, which did not allow themselves to be happy). They begin to assign responsibilities in the form of cleaning their own room, helping around the house, and studying. Many people here will be outraged, but what’s wrong with that? After all, a woman should clean up her space, not live like a pig. We remember the same mechanism again. Everything works from the inside out, not the other way around. If you don’t suppress a girl, but praise and support her, teach her to enjoy herself, listen to her body, her desires, fill herself, decorate herself, then everything else will happen automatically.
If there is harmony, acceptance, satisfaction from within, then the girl/girl will remove everything around her in one fell swoop, and you won’t even notice it, just like she herself. Magic? No, this is how feminine energy works in the material world. But this is not beneficial to society. They need slaves and consumers. Therefore, incorrect, deadly stereotypes are imposed. Society needs comfortable women who are oppressed by a sense of duty and guilt, ready to do anything for a small piece of love and happiness. Is it correct? Of course not, because it is precisely at this moment that the mechanism of destruction of society, total degradation, turns on. With such a consumerist attitude towards women, everyone around them begins to suffer. Although in tactical terms everyone wins, and the husband is satisfied and the children are fed, but strategically a disaster occurs. Because of aggressive, suppressed emotions, a woman destroys herself, her husband, her children, and instead of love and understanding, she encounters the usual: she is greedy, what she lacks.
Out of desperation, such women come to psychologists, astrologers, including me for consultations. Their requests look veiled. No one will dare to ask directly, it won’t even occur to them. They will ask about their calling, how to realize themselves in their career, when there will be a happy period, when there will be marriage, and when I will become happy (guess the answer). But my answer is always the same - start with yourself.
Dear girls, women, your health and the fate of your family and children depend on your wisdom. Understand that no one can ever make you happy. This is a priori impossible. No man can be the magician who will rub you in the right place and everything will turn into a fairy tale. Not a single baby in the world will bring you happiness, it will only expose and multiply the pain that you carry within yourself.
Dear parents, now about you. Don't try to make your children happy! This is also impossible! Children grow up in love, which they need like air. Not Legos, not the hundredth model of a car, not Barbie, not amusement parks, not fast foods, but love. Where does it come from? Here the mechanism is as follows.
A woman loves herself. To love means to accept completely, to hear yourself, your desires and needs and satisfy them in a timely manner. Take care of yourself, buy yourself flowers, beautiful clothes, take yourself to cafes and restaurants. Someone here will say that it is expensive. You know, we women just need to come up with something to avoid doing what we need to do. Let there be one beautiful dress, but in it you will enjoy yourself. Let you have one cafe a month with your favorite pie, rather than daily evening tea with harmful sweets. It's summer season now. Don't have money for an expensive face mask? Buy fifty grams of village sour cream, fruit and apply every evening (cosmetologist's advice). Take time to go out alone or with friends. Let it be short, about fifteen minutes. The principle of regularity itself is important here.
Then, as you gradually begin to fill out, men will appear next to you who will want to court you. This is how the principle of magnetism works. A woman who is first for everyone to attract consumer and married men who need your “good girl” energy. When you take care of yourself, a man begins to take care of you! This is the law. And it doesn’t matter at all whether you are married or not, your own husband can change, there are many historical examples.
Being in this state, a man begins to love a woman, he wants to fulfill her desires! Bingo! She is not his desire, but he is her! This is how an energetically productive union is formed, which creates a space of love, a social unit that was so praised in the last century. Only this way! I repeat: a woman for herself, a man for her, and children in this space begin to breathe. Their throats stop hurting, their snot and adenoids go away, they stop being capricious and extorting something from you, because their parents give them the energy of love.
What should single mothers do? In fact, the principle is the same, but the approach is even stricter. Mothers who raise children alone are even more inclined to give their last to the “poor” child, to live for him. Again, a murderous scenario, because your child will never in his life repay you for your feat, and you will expect this from him subconsciously or consciously, destroying his future. Therefore, these women need to put themselves even more in the foreground, fulfill their desires first, not the child! The more you give yourself, generate your internal energy, the more harmonious the fate of your child will be, and in this way you can give him at least some chance for a happy life!
To be continued…
With love, author.
Around her 4
People who think only about themselves love to attract attention, especially girls. Therefore, there is always a lively excitement around such a person. People are attracted to this mystery and mystery, because these are adventures, and they always end in an interesting way. Women's charm and artistry give men great hopes, which are subsequently destroyed by the barrier of egoism.
What person doesn't love freedom?8
Live your whole life within the framework of some social principles? Also, by the way, again, the opinion that a woman owes and is obliged to do something is fading away. Yes, with freedom comes responsibility for your life, but it’s better to decide for yourself than for someone else to decide for you. The ability to take risks, think, plan and hope makes life brighter and richer; only at such moments does a person understand what he really wants from life.
