Senile aggression: why does it occur, what to do with it?

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4. Senile aggression: why does it occur, what to do with it?

Aggression in old age may be one of the signs of impaired emotional control and social behavior. These symptoms can often indicate the development of dementia. Aggression can be caused by other reasons: age-related changes in character, taking certain medications, personal problems. This condition can and should be corrected: prevented, eliminated, but for this it is important to establish what causes the aggressive behavior.

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Causes of aggressive behavior in old age

Three large groups can be distinguished.

Biological:

• constant physical discomfort, pain, forced posture, poor health, general malaise;
• side effect from taking certain medications;
• external stimuli to which an elderly person is sensitive: heat or cold, drafts, noise, bright light;
• decreased hearing and vision, due to which orientation in space deteriorates, the level of anxiety and tension increases;
• • thinking disorders (delusions, hallucinations), which are accompanied by aggressive self-defense from a fictitious threat;
• dementia, in which age-related changes in brain tissue occur and a person’s behavior changes.

Social:

• loneliness, insufficient amount of communication, contact with other people;
• constant inactivity, lack of activities, interests, hobbies, regular responsibilities; the elderly person feels useless, unnecessary, and may develop protest behavior accompanied by aggression;
• mistrust of a guardian, doctor, visitor, which provokes an outbreak of aggression, may be associated with an increase in suspicion in dementia;
• reluctance to inform others about your condition, emotional problems, and health problems. An elderly person does not want to become a “burden” - he uses aggressive behavior so that relatives or doctors do not interfere in his life.

Psychological:

• gradual maladjustment and associated emotions: frustration, anxiety, fear, depression; the person realizes that he cannot cope with an increasing number of tasks; this worsens his mental state and provokes aggression;
• shyness, reluctance to accept help when washing, changing clothes, going to the toilet;
• lack of self-control, gradual loss of ideas about norms of behavior;
• strengthening of negative character traits;
• feeling of vulnerability: the outside world seems unfamiliar, threatening, and can frighten the elderly if he is maladapted;
• problems in relationships with loved ones; Aggression can be provoked by indifference on the part of relatives (usually apparent) or, on the contrary, by their concern for the health of an elderly person.

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Managing Aggression: Why do people become more aggressive and how to resist anger?

The word aggression translated means “movement towards an object.” Aggression is the energy that helps us achieve our goals in life and withstand competition. But this is with a normal level of aggression and its correct direction. And if not?

Bad luck haunts William (Michael Douglas). And now his accumulated aggression has passed the “boiling point”! (Film “I’ve had enough!”, 1993)

My son is in 11th grade. There are kids at school who provoke him into fights. Recently I was called to school and told that my son was aggressive and cruel. Perhaps he became like this because he saw his father's rudeness. My husband has a hard job, in a male team, conflicts often arise. Passions run high in our family. How to deal with aggression? How to deal with aggressive people? Maria, 42 years old, Tula.

For many people, the level of aggression is increased and the direction of energy is incorrect. For example, aggression can be directed toward entering college, pursuing a career, or achieving personal goals. But for some reason, a person directs it in a different direction, for example, towards a neighbor who is more fortunate in life, or towards the weak, or towards self-destruction.

Dangerous aggression

The only correct direction of this energy is life achievements, not “over the heads”, but along your own path. And also standing up for your rights. If energy is not used for its intended purpose, it becomes dangerous. Here are four types of misdirected aggression.

1 Identification with the aggressor. The most dangerous type of aggression provokes cruelty and crime. From childhood, a person is brought up in an atmosphere of cruelty. He is the object of bullying and learns that people are divided into two categories: strong (in his understanding, aggressive, cruel, who can mock, suppress) and weak (victims). This child no longer sees the other side of the world.

He doesn’t want to be weak, and he identifies with the strong (with the aggressor). Then in life he himself becomes cruel and aggressive. He has no pity for the victims, because in order to feel sorry, he needs to “take the place of the weak.” And he cannot afford this, he has suffered too much in the role of the weak. That is why they say that an aggressor or rapist is a victim of aggression and violence in the past.

2 Aggression suppressed. Most often this happens in childhood. The child is forbidden to get angry, defend his point of view, or fight back. Or he is physically and mentally weak and is afraid to show aggression even in the most harmless form. And it becomes a “quiet pool” in which “devils roam.” Aggression does not go away, it remains inside.

A quiet and harmless “nerd” may one day go off the rails in such a way that no one will find it enough.

If aggression never finds a way out, it will begin to destroy the person himself. Diseases, problems, complexes become attached. A person destroys himself with the help of alcohol, drugs, gambling and computer games.

3 Aggression of a loser. Envy, anger at the whole world, confidence that “everything is wrong” in the world, it is ruled by evil, money, etc. Instead of realizing oneself, a person becomes angry or takes revenge on those more fortunate. The person himself may not even be aware of the reasons for his aggression.

4 Aggression redirected. For example, at work your boss made you very angry, but you cannot enter into an open confrontation with him and take your anger out on an accessible object: your husband, your child. Unfortunately, it is the weaker ones who suffer here, those who cannot fight back.

Why is everyone so angry

In the modern world, rates of all types of aggression are rising. People were divided into lucky and unlucky, rich and poor. This means that losers take out their aggression on successful ones. And the successful are forced to fight for their place in the sun.

The frantic pace of life forces us to suppress aggression and take it out on our family. Because there is no time to sit down and talk with your opponent, to understand yourself, to calm down. TV is replete with scandals, violence and disasters. This increases the level of aggression tenfold.

How to deal with an aggressor?

The main thing, if you meet an aggressor, is not to be on the same wavelength with him. Any aggressor splashes out evil not on a random person, but on a suitable victim. If your level of aggression is elevated, you will attract the aggressor to you like a magnet. If you're on a different wavelength, he won't notice you. For example, in a dark alley they will ask a passerby who is angry at someone for a “light.”

If the aggressor attacks, do not succumb to provocation, remain calm, mentally play the role of a good person, remember Christian values. Even this is often enough to calm the aggressor.

The main thing is not to respond to aggression with anger. Even if the situation requires you to intimidate the aggressor, respond harshly, or otherwise stand up for yourself, do so, but remain calm inside. If the aggressor is reasonable (we are talking about your boss, not the bully), use psychological aikido: start your speech with the word “yes”, find something to agree with the aggressor on, take his position, sympathize.

Just numbers How often do you get angry?

Advice from a psychologist How to cope with your aggression

1 If you notice that you are often angry and irritable, try to understand what and why irritates you. Often what causes anger in us is precisely what we have in ourselves or what we cannot afford. A lonely and complex woman is annoyed by a nymphet in a miniskirt. Someone who is greedy but hides it will be enraged by greed in others.

2 Put yourself in the shoes of those who irritate you, think and feel like them. Maybe they have reasons to behave this way? Empathize with them.

3 If you often get angry and irritated with people for no reason, think: what is wrong in your life? Perhaps this is redirected aggression. Maybe you are not satisfied with your family relationships, and you lash out at your subordinates? Or vice versa. Think about a solution to your current problem.

4 If you are angry with a particular person and are thinking in your head “oh, what kind of person is he...!”, try to talk frankly with him and discuss the issues of concern. A frank conversation will clarify a lot.

5 If the level of aggression is off the charts, maybe you just need to rest? Get some sleep, do your favorite things, relax. Everyone has their own way of relaxing and cleansing from irritation: yoga, meditation, sports, sauna, communication, creativity.

Dear readers!

I'm waiting for your feedback at [email protected] .

Angela Kharitonova, practical psychologist.

How to prevent an attack of aggression?

It is worth analyzing the situations in which such behavior appears, identifying its causes and, if possible, removing them. Consulting a psychiatrist-gerontologist will help you cope with this task.

The patient’s relatives will have to change their behavior and attitude towards him:

• accept age-related changes, come to terms with the fact that a person needs more time even for simple things, with the fact that he can forget a lot, do something wrong, it is especially important not to get irritated, not to react negatively, so as not to provoke an aggressive response;
• take into account the state of health: constant pain, as well as decreased hearing or vision, distort the perception of the environment, the person begins to react sharply to stimuli;
• try not to criticize, not to make unnecessary comments; try not to create situations in which the patient might do something wrong, and if he has made a mistake, do not focus on it;
• if an elderly person needs help when visiting the toilet, changing clothes, or performing hygiene procedures, it should be gentle, and the actions of the person helping should not cause discomfort;
• monitor the emotional state: if “harbingers” of aggressive behavior appear (anxiety, restlessness, fear, pain), try to call a gerontologist as quickly as possible; timely prescribed drug treatment will prevent the development of an attack of aggression.

Managing Anger When Someone Denies Our Values

We are all different, and it is not surprising that our habits, behavior, ideas about “right” and “wrong” differ. Sometimes the differences are so great that they cause anger.

What does it look like in life

Masha loves her job, but does not like her colleague Inna Pavlovna, who catches her in the corridor and begins to talk for a long, long time about what Masha is completely uninterested in: about the dacha, seedlings, grandson Kesha and chickenpox.

Sometimes Masha is ready to flare up: “Inna Pavlovna, why are you pestering me! I also have a lot of problems, I’m not dumping them on you! I value your personal space, so you will learn to value mine!”

But this is a destructive option: at the very least it will ruin the relationship. At the very least, Inna Pavlovna will remember that she is the chief accountant here, and this will not end well for Masha, who occupies a lower position.

What to do

Realize: Inna Pavlovna’s whole fault lies in the fact that she behaves in a way that Masha would never behave. And here there are two options.

Firstly, you can try to persuade the “offender” to change his behavior so that it no longer contradicts Masha’s life principles. This can be done by citing, for example, the abundance of work. “Sorry, Inna Pavlovna, I’m very, very busy right now, the report is on fire!” - and repeat this mantra at every meeting.

Secondly, you can think about your own principles and perhaps reconsider some of them. That's why Masha tries not to tell anyone about her problems? Maybe she is afraid to strain those around her? Or does he consider them petty and of no interest to anyone? But this is a manifestation of complexes! It may well be that her colleagues, if Masha learns to share her experiences with them, will be able to give practical advice. Allowing both others and yourself to talk about what “hurts” is a good solution.

If you place too high demands on yourself, you often get annoyed with those who allow themselves to relax.

Ilse Sand

However, if we are talking about values ​​and ideas, we will have to take a different approach. If, say, you care about the environment, you will probably get angry when you see someone polluting it. And in this case, your indignation will be justified. Standing up for your values ​​will make you feel much better. Well, in order to feel more confident, it makes sense to join an organization in which the value system is similar to yours.

How to show your anger correctly?

Anger needs to be shown to other people so that they understand why you are angry, see your mistakes and realize why this is so important to you. Try to explain to your opponent what consequences the problem you are considering may lead to. No need to shout! The best argument will be stern, clear and fairly loud intonations.

Sometimes it is better to talk, to let your anger out, than to remain silent, because communication is a real chance to find a way out of a difficult situation.

Knowledge of how to become evil will be useful in life, because without anger it is impossible to feel full joy. Don't be afraid to express this feeling, but use it skillfully. Remember, these emotions will only be beneficial if you learn to control them and use them not for evil, but to realize your plans.

How to become angry and strong: secrets of psychologists

An important rule: never accumulate anger within yourself. Feel free to express your emotions as soon as you feel yourself starting to get angry. To avoid uncontrollable manifestations of anger, you should not accumulate it in yourself.

How to become evil and achieve your goal? Dissatisfaction and anger from not fully getting what you wanted are the feelings that motivate action. If a person does not feel satisfied with what he has, he will constantly strive for something better. In this case, the main thing is to have specific tasks in front of you, to clearly understand and review the final goal. Your great success should definitely be appreciated.

How to become angry and cruel to achieve a goal, to realize the desire to change something in your life? Try to combine your desire with hatred and anger. For example, if you dream of becoming more beautiful and slimmer, you need to hate your extra pounds. Only this anger should set you up for a certain result, and not lower your self-esteem.

What gives a person anger?

It would seem that what good can such feelings as anger and aggression bring? But you shouldn’t judge these emotions based only on their definition by psychologists. It often happens that a calm character, gentleness and kindness only create problems. The inability to get angry leads to the fact that a person will be rude, forced to do a lot of extra work, taking advantage of his reliability, they can make him guilty without guilt in various situations.

From the above it follows that a person needs a feeling of anger and aggression in order to be able to defend his interests. These feelings can tell the individual that a particular situation is not suitable or necessary for him, and also does not bring any benefit.

Only understanding this problem from the side of personal gain allows us to assert that anger, as a feeling, is sometimes simply necessary. But it is important to remember: you can only benefit from your own anger if you have complete control over yourself. To avoid problems, you should still observe the ethical side, and completely exclude harming other people through your anger.

How to channel anger in the right direction?

Knowing how to become angry, you need to understand how to extinguish this emotion in case of loss of control over the situation.

1. If you find yourself filled with anger and this is preventing you from adequately perceiving the situation, use the tips below to regain your sense of balance and master inner peace.
2. Relax through deep and slow breathing. As you exhale, mentally repeat the phrase: “I am calm and in control of the situation.”
3. Listen to music. To find peace, the following technique will be effective: start with slow compositions, gradually moving to songs with a faster tempo.
4. Do a set of strength exercises.
5. Give vent to your anger by simply beating a pillow and throwing out your negativity on an inanimate object.
6. Write an angry letter where, without mincing words, describe all your negative feelings. Burn the letter and imagine that your problems disappear along with the burning paper.