Who is a sadist - signs in women, men and children, causes of sadism, differences from a masochist

Modern media do not hesitate to publicize cases of bullying by some people over others, so almost all people understand who a sadist is. However, the reasons for this phenomenon are deeper than it might seem at first glance. To protect yourself and your loved ones from manifestations of sadism, it is important to know the essence and motives of such behavior and to be able to behave with aggressors.

Sadist - who is it?

In psychology and psychiatry there is a specific definition of what a sadist means. This is the name given to a person who is prone to violence and enjoys causing moral or physical harm to other people. He strives for complete dominance and power over his victim, gradually suppressing her will.

The term was first used by the German psychologist Richard von Krafft-Ebing at the end of the 19th century. It is believed that the definition comes from the name of the French writer, philosopher, and politician Marquis de Sade, who was famous for his cruel inclinations in sexual games. He described all his ideas and experiences in his books, which became popular and perfectly illustrate the concept of who a sadist is.

Signs of a sadist

Even a person far from psychology intuitively understands how to recognize a sadist. Clear signs of aggressive and violent activity include:

1. Psychological pressure
   . Aggressors are constantly trying to humiliate and suppress the will of their victim, touch her to the quick, insult her, ruin her mood, and so on. A moral sadist constantly seeks to destroy the plans and hopes of his victim, play on her feelings and create “nervous shocks.” A distinctive feature of such people is pronounced vindictiveness.
2. Sexual violence
   . A person regularly seeks to persuade a partner to have intimacy without his desire. Uses forms of behavior that are unacceptable and unacceptable to others in bed, causing physical and mental pain to the victim.
3. Physical bullying
   and bodily harm to another living being for the purpose of one’s own satisfaction and self-affirmation, a feeling of one’s own limitless power.

Women are sadists

Psychologists say that in the absence of severe psychiatric diagnoses, people are not initially prone to sadism. This behavior is formed due to the influence of external factors. The female psyche is more resistant to external influences due to protective emotional mechanisms, which is why there are still significantly fewer cruel and aggressive representatives of beauty than men. In addition, female sadism is more likely to manifest itself in a psychological form. Such ladies strive to express their inclinations secretly or as legitimately as possible, choosing weaker victims.

There are many examples of who such a sadist is among women:

1. A boss who tortures her subordinates with impossible tasks, humiliates, intimidates, and so on.
2. In hospitals, sadistic nurses secretly kill the sick and infirm, explaining this to themselves as saving them from suffering.
3. A woman mocks her children, considering them to be the cause of her troubles, her appearance and the departure of her loved one.

Sadistic man

The structure of the male psyche is such that representatives of the stronger sex are more prone to displaying sadistic tendencies. Often you can find out from news headlines that a sadistic guy abused his girlfriend or wife, who endured all this for many years. Forms of male sadism are more diverse:

1. Men are stronger by nature than women, so they often use brute force against the weaker: wives, children.
2. Moral sadists act more sophisticatedly, torturing their victims for a long time. Such people do not always use shouting, swearing and scandals. They can psychologically suppress the victim with devaluation and humiliation, after which they will repent and ask for forgiveness before the next act of aggression.
3. Sexual sadists who are used to dominating intimate life and causing pain to their partner, both physical and psychological.

Children are sadists

Much less often, signs of sadism can be found in a child. However, there are also such babies. More often these are people with severe psychiatric diagnoses or those who have experienced trauma and violence at an early age. Childhood sadism can include:

1. Animal abuse.
2. Hysterics and denial of parents’ requests, the desire to do everything “out of spite” at home.
3. Bullying and ridicule of peers.
4. During adolescence, this behavior can develop into criminal activity.

Signs of sadism

If your intuition gives warning signs regarding your chosen one (lover) or boss, then you may find 10 ways to recognize a sadist in everyday life useful:

1. Causing pain. Even small but regular attempts to cause physical harm are a warning sign. These can be supposedly harmless pushes, pinches, slaps, bites (allegedly in a fit of passion), slaps, injections and scratches.

2. The desire to cause mental suffering. Mockery, ridicule, humiliation, insults, nagging and aggressive behavior for no reason also reveal sadistic tendencies.

3. Such people treat animals poorly. At best, they are indifferent to them. Of course, not all callous people are sadists, but in combination with other signs this can reveal human nature.

4. Callousness and callousness towards the suffering of other people. Sadists are endowed with an extreme degree of egoism; other people are just a way for them to achieve their goals.

5. The desire to control a partner or subordinate even outside of relationships and work. It is important for a sadist to subjugate and control his victims. To do this, they use blackmail, threats and manipulation.

6. The sadist derives pleasure from his own power over the victim. He can humiliate the victim, trample her dignity with insults and moral pressure, and then deliver carnal pleasure and bring her to orgasm. In this way, everyday sadists bind their victims to themselves.

7. Position of educator, teacher. The sadist believes that he has the right to dictate conditions and control the body and life of his victim. In relation to children and his women, this manifests itself in the form of physical “punishment for educational purposes.”

8. Devaluation of the victim, lowering her self-esteem. Sadists like to stretch out the torment over time and can enjoy the suffering of the victim for a long period. For example, a boss can torment his subordinates for years, “trampling them into the mud.” And so that the victim does not leave him, he periodically uses encouragement (including money) as a tool to keep her close to him.

9. Cynicism and sarcasm are inherent in sadists. At the same time, they may have irony and a sense of humor, but this is expressed specifically.

10. A sadist can be identified by his surroundings. Such people often have parents who also have unhealthy tendencies. If, after meeting your parents or stories about your childhood, you have doubts about adequacy, do not brush aside unpleasant thoughts. Such carelessness can cost you dearly in the future.

What are the causes of sadism?

The psychology of a sadist is formed from childhood and even from the prenatal period. Some maternal illnesses or disorders in brain development can lead to a mentally ill child.

But more often this trait is acquired. The reasons may be different:

● Mental disorders come first. ● Sadistic tendencies are ingrained in the family by the example of parents. ● Deep psychological trauma at a tender age (violence seen or experienced, misfortune, calamity, catastrophe and its consequences) can become a cause. ● Their own phobias and fears can push moral sadists to abuse others. ● Features of character, psyche and temperament. Suppression of excessive aggression can be expressed in directed sadism towards someone. ● Sexual sadism can develop due to a bad experience of first intercourse, with rape and painful sensations. Viewing BDSM content as a teenager can also lead to sexual sadism in the future.

Causes of sadism

The reasons for cruel and aggressive behavior can be varied:

1. The most obvious are certain psychiatric disorders that lead to antisocial behavior.
2. Often, sadistic parents are cruel to their children, using physical, psychological or even sexual violence.
3. Deep childhood traumas associated with events witnessed or the activities of relatives of the aggressors.
4. A moral sadist may derive satisfaction from tormenting others because of his own phobias and fears. Thus, it increases the sense of self-worth. This may be the fear of being underappreciated or unloved in the family or society.
5. Features of temperament and psyche, due to which an individual suppresses existing aggression. Over time, it still manifests itself in perverted forms.
6. In sexology, the concept of what a sexual sadist is is often associated with unsuccessful early sexual experiences or uncontrolled viewing of pornographic films with elements of cruelty.

Types of sadism

The basis of sadism is the desire to completely control the victim. This brings moral satisfaction to the aggressor. This phenomenon is usually divided into two main types:

✓ Sexual sadism, it is also called bodily sadism. There is a category of people who are not able to get satisfaction from ordinary intercourse; they need other sensations. They derive increasing pleasure from injuring other people. It is not possible for them to get an orgasm in the usual sense. Sadists get the fullest sensation only from the victim’s screams, tears, humiliation and pain that she experiences. Often sexual sadists are aware of what they are doing, but cannot stop because they only get pleasure in one way.

The peculiarity of this sadism is that it can take different forms. Some people limit themselves to intimate games with handcuffs, tying up or a whip. Others need more serious reasons for pleasure: injuries, cuts, bruises and even the death of the victim.

Sexual sadism does not apply only to members of the opposite sex. This is due to the fact that the aggressor is not aroused by the sexuality of the victim, but by the suffering he causes. Therefore, people of any gender and age can become victims of maniacs. Women and children more often end up on this list due to the fact that they cannot resist a stronger sadist.

✓ Psychological or moral sadism manifests itself as aggression aimed at humiliating the victim. It can manifest itself as malicious humor, ridicule, bullying, threats, or be openly offensive.

Psychological sadists influence the mental sphere, invading the inner world of the victim. Unlike sexual maniacs, such sadists skillfully hide their inclinations. They have a talent for manipulating, gaining trust and playing on feelings. Obtaining such power increases their self-esteem and brings moral satisfaction. This is how they achieve their perverted happiness.

What is the difference between a sadist and a masochist?

The concept of sadism describes a person prone to violence against others. He experiences moral and sometimes physical pleasure from this. Another form of the disorder is considered masochism. The term implies a sophisticated form of psychological pleasure from inflicting suffering of various types on oneself. That is, the masochist’s aggression is directed towards himself. It could be:

1. Work until complete exhaustion.
2. Denial of your obvious needs for food, sleep, rest.
3. Pleasure from causing pain during sex and others.

The sadist and the victim, who may also be a masochist, are like sides of the same coin. One likes to inflict pain, and the other likes to feel it. Psychiatrists are confident that aggression directed at oneself can develop into an open form of sadism. Then the person loses touch with reality and does not understand the illegality of his actions, completely justifying them.

Is it possible to get rid of sexual sadism?

It is quite difficult to answer positively to this question. Therapy for sexual sadism is complex and is carried out in the following areas: • Identifying and overcoming the internal psychological conflict that causes the connection between aggression and sexual arousal. This is the scope of such methods of psychotherapy as psychoanalysis and cognitive behavioral therapy. Unfortunately, they are effective only in the early stages of the development of sadism and with the voluntary appeal of a patient who has a strong motivation for cure. • Medical relief of manifestations of sadism that can lead to serious consequences for others, often with the help of drugs that reduce sexual desire, block aggression, instability of behavior and attacks of anger. For this purpose, psychotropic drugs, antidepressants, sedatives and hormonal drugs that reduce testosterone production are prescribed. Only such a comprehensive and purely individual approach can lead to a positive result in the absence of concomitant mental disorders.

As for the prevention of sadism, it must begin from childhood. Love and respect, a calm and favorable psychological environment in the family will not allow the child to develop self-doubt and anxiety. It is important not to suppress aggression in a child, but to encourage its open manifestation, directing it in a different direction - not towards people, but into competitive sports. The desire to dominate and command can be realized in a more acceptable form - for example, practicing martial arts under the guidance of an experienced trainer who adheres to the basic principles of not using the acquired knowledge and skills for aggression and attack. The child will be interested in expressing himself in intellectual and military games and even in the most ordinary things - organizing house cleaning, caring for the local area, buying important things, planning the family budget. Do not suppress your child’s initiative, take into account his opinion, recognize the rationality of his proposals - in this way you will satisfy his desire for self-affirmation and will not allow an inferiority complex to form.

What do sadists feel during bullying?

Aggressors show cruelty for a specific purpose. For a sadist, emotions serve as a kind of nourishment, without which he can no longer exist. It could be:

1. A sense of self-worth and self-exaltation, a perverted thirst for power over those who are weaker. This compensates for the feeling of inferiority.
2. Satisfaction from the desire to take revenge for the pain caused in childhood to the objects of violence or their projections. This is how a person expresses his pain.
3. Sexual arousal and satisfaction from seeing other people suffer. In the future, such perversions lead to the inability to experience orgasm without tormenting the partner.

How to recognize a sadist

Since the root of the problem may go back to childhood, it is necessary to monitor the child’s behavior. Cruelty to animals, rudeness, aggressive character - all this may indicate that in the future these negative qualities will not be revealed for the better.

As for an adult, there are obvious signs that may indicate violent tendencies:

• A person constantly humiliates in public ;
• The person lacks empathy ;
• Captures all attention to himself, but does not give it himself;
• Always looking for a reason to accuse the interlocutor of something;
• A cruel sense of humor also indicates unhealthy human behavior.

How do sadists choose their victims?

A distinctive feature of sadism is the choice of a specific victim. A person with a sick psyche understands that he needs a permanent partner to vent his aggression. Such a person can be tormented for a long time and constantly, because with the loss of the victim, the aggressor also loses his sense of self-satisfaction. The victim is often a weak and insecure person. Such experienced sadists can easily be identified by the following signs:

1. Sight
   . He may be confused, intimidated or hunted, empty or sympathetic.
2. Posture
   . A stooped back, drooping shoulders and the absence of the so-called “inner core.”
3. Gestures
   . Potential victims gesticulate little, trying not to offend anyone or harm anything.
4. Cloth
   . People with low self-esteem, who often become victims of sadists, prefer to wear simple, discreet clothes that allow them to “get lost in the crowd.”

What are the features of sadomachism?

The term “sadomasochism” was proposed in 1913 by a follower of Freud, a psychoanalyst from Austria, Isidor Sadger. The latter developed and gave a name to Freud's teaching about the desire to inflict pain on others or experience pain oneself as a way of sexual satisfaction based on relationships of dominance or submission. As I have already said, in psychoanalysis sadism and masochism are considered as a single mental phenomenon, and masochism is considered autosadism, i.e. self-directed sadism.

It should be said that there is still no consensus on the classification of sadomasochism. Such a diagnosis was included in ICD-10, but already with the eleventh revision in 2021 it disappeared again and now, starting in 2022, the diagnosis of sadomasochism is not officially recognized in ICD-11. As for the phenomenon itself, regardless of recognition or non-recognition in the ICD, it occurs, and it is considered the most common deviation of sexual behavior and this must be taken into account when conducting therapy. The foundations of sadomasochism are laid in early childhood, when the sadomasochistic inclinations of one or both parents are perceived by the child as a behavioral stereotype. By the way, many experts consider sadomasochism to be a phenomenon inherent in any person; the whole point is in its severity and influence on social adaptation and the formation of family relationships. If in a couple the sadism of one partner satisfies the masochistic needs of the other and is under control, then this even helps to establish closer psychological contact. Sadism in love ecstasy merges with its antipode and turns into sadomasochism. In this case, partners can change roles. But quite often sadomasochism takes on such a form that it becomes dominant in all areas of relationships and has negative consequences not only for partners, but also for society. The sophistications of sadomasochists sometimes resemble torture in the dungeons of the Gestapo. Destructive manifestations of sadomasochism in this case are manifested by antisocial behavior, violent sexual acts up to the death of the victim, cruelty to children, torment, torture and killing of animals. In conclusion, I would like to say that the modern ideas of some researchers of cruelty, sadism, hatred, malice and egocentrism received their hypothetical justification in the form of the concept of the dark core of the individual’s psyche, the so-called D-factor. When the “dark” core in the human psyche grows to incredible sizes, it maximizes all negative and bad aspirations, including sadism. By the way, almost all the elements of the black triad are present in sadism: • Narcissism, as extreme egocentrism. • Machiavellianism, as the belief that the end justifies the means. • Psychopathy – a complete lack of empathy (sympathy and compassion).

The D-factor is defined as the tendency to achieve one's own benefit at any cost, ignoring the needs of others and not paying attention to moral concepts and social attitudes. The dominant tendency is to place one’s interests, desires and needs higher than those of other people. At the same time, gradually the very process of creating inconvenience, humiliation and violence begins to bring pleasure. That is why sadism, as a special type of human-human connection based on dominance, requires early diagnosis and timely treatment in order to prevent its development into a socially dangerous and destructive form for the individual. If you discover signs of sadism or masochism in yourself or your loved ones, immediately contact a specialist, otherwise the consequences may be the most unpredictable and extremely undesirable.

How to deal with a sadist?

After people understand who an experienced sadist is, they strive to learn the basic rules of protection against various types of aggression. Psychologists suggest the following steps of action:

1. First, it is important to realize that the person next to you is an emotional sadist, for example.
2. It is best to stop any contact with the sadist. Not to see and not to hear him. Change your phone number and place of residence.
3. In difficult situations, it is worth contacting law enforcement agencies and crisis centers and psychological assistance. Sadistic tendencies do not respond well to psychocorrection, so you need to abandon all hopes of re-educating the sadist.
4. The aggressor “feeds” on the fear of the victim, therefore, if you cannot escape from him, then you should overcome your fear, not show confusion or resentment, but show determination in words and actions. Left without the necessary emotions, the torturer will go looking for another victim.

How to communicate with a sadist?

Scientists believe that sadism in psychology is equated to sexual disorders that are difficult to treat, so you can only communicate with a sadist not from the position of a victim. Such a person must understand in the first minutes (and they subtly feel this) that mocking this individual in various forms will not work. For this:

1. It is important to clearly establish the boundaries of communication, that negative words, gestures, actions and deeds are unacceptable.
2. Violation of boundaries entails inevitable punishment. This could be either stopping the dialogue or reporting to the police.
3. Limit communication with the person who has been identified as an aggressor as much as possible.

How to live with a sadist?

Many people, especially women, recognizing the traits of a sadist in their partner, refuse to stop communicating with him, citing various reasons. However, experts say that the psychology of a sadist is adamant. Having felt the “taste of blood” and his impunity at least once, such a person will go into a rage and intensify his bullying. The intensity will increase over time, so it is not possible to live with a sadist in the position of a victim. To get away from your tormentor, you can:

1. Enlist the support of parents, friends, acquaintances. Get protection from all manipulations and threats.
2. If there are no strong defenders among your friends, then you can contact law enforcement agencies.
3. Crisis centers also provide assistance to victims of violence, the telephone numbers of which can be found in any budgetary medical or educational institution at your place of residence or on the Internet.

Distinctive character traits

The classic image of a sadist in the form of a bloodthirsty, aggressive and tough person is a rare phenomenon, which is not so difficult to recognize.
And there is only one way out - to run. Much more often, it is hidden moral sadists who are “represented” in society, showing their behavior and inclinations in a disguised form. Outwardly they are quite normal and easy to communicate with. Upon closer examination and communication, his predatory nature appears, disguised as a kind smile, or not hidden at all. How can one determine the psychological type of sadism?

This is indicated by the following signs and characteristic features of a sadist:

• regular reproaches and insults against the victim, unfounded criticism and coercion to certain actions;
• the victim herself is always subordinate to the decision of the sadist and this gives the latter confidence in his rightness;
• after communicating with a moral sadist, a feeling of humiliation, depression, tears and anxiety arises.

Important!

The main goal of every moral sadist is to humiliate and subjugate the victim, thus expressing his own dignity. With resistance from a stronger personality, the moral sadist will move into the status of a victim.

How to stop being a sadist?

The situation is much more complicated when a person himself understands that he is showing aggressiveness and cruelty and strives to get rid of it. Accepting a problem is the first step towards healing it. Next, you should contact a competent psychotherapist who:

1. May prescribe medication. Often psychological sadism occurs due to an excess of certain hormones.
2. Prescribe psychotherapy sessions, which may include: hypnosis, auto-training, projective techniques and more.

Treatment of psychological disorder

How to rid a sadist of unhealthy tendencies? To date, there is no specific specific treatment . But despite this, psychotherapy with drug treatment is successfully used. In psychotherapy, the most effective influences are: hypnosis, cognitive and behavioral therapy, psychoanalysis.

In particularly severe cases, people suffering from this mental disorder are prescribed antiandrogenic drugs, which help reduce desire and dull sadistic manifestations. Treatment can be carried out either on an outpatient basis or in a hospital , which also depends on the degree of dysfunction and behavior towards others.

Often manifestations of cruelty among sadists are hidden and it is quite difficult to identify the disorder, but it must be treated like any other type of disease. At the first manifestations of physical or psychological impact, it is imperative to contact a specialist.

It should also be remembered that treatment will be effective only if the sadist himself is aware of the problem and wants to get rid of it. Otherwise, all efforts to rid a person of sadistic tendencies will be in vain.

Sadistic zodiac signs

Astrologers tend to believe that the sadism gene is more often than others inherent in certain zodiac signs. These include:

1. Aries
   . This representative of the fire element is prone to emotional sadism. Aries men, more often than others, are “famous” for their total control over their other half, emotional pressure and eternal criticism.
2. Sagittarius
   . People born under this sign experience their other half with excessive attention to other members of the opposite sex. All claims on this matter may be met with attacks and mutual accusations.
3. Scorpion
   . This sign is considered one of the most “bloodthirsty”. Scorpios are able to experience satisfaction from causing both physical and moral suffering to others.

Famous sadists

In history, there are many confirmed examples of famous sadists, who were both men and women. Each of them was “famous” for physical abuse, but the psychological sadist is practically not found in history textbooks and criminology. Among the famous maniacs, everyone knows the names:

1. Elizabeth Bathory or "Bloody Countess". It is believed that this noble lady took baths from the blood of young virgins to preserve her own youth, and carried out many inhuman tortures.
2. Russian landowner Daria Saltykova, nicknamed Saltychikha. Her name went down in history after many cases of abuse of peasants.
3. Andrei Chikatilo is one of the most famous serial killers and maniacs in the Soviet Union.