How to develop charisma and charm: 10 exercises for men and women

What is charisma

Charisma (from the Greek “gift of the gods,” “anointing”) is a set of personal qualities and abilities of a person that others evaluate as “special talent.” De facto, these are the intellectual, spiritual and other qualities of a person that are assessed as exceptional.

Charisma is inextricably linked with charm: a charismatic person always influences those around him, involuntarily charms them and has an exceptional chance of becoming a leader.

Despite the fact that even in Christianity charisma has the meaning of “gift from God,” it is not innate. Some qualities may be inherent to a person by nature, but in most cases this is the result of individual development or constant work on oneself. It is enough to pay attention to the personality of Steve Jobs - one of the most charismatic people in modern history. Recordings of his early performances may put you to sleep. However, Jobs's late speeches touch both the mind and the heart - they do not leave you indifferent. What is this if not the result of working on yourself?

Work on your body language

A swaggering gait, drooping shoulders, wobbly knees - people are good at reading someone else's body language.

Even the smallest details are unconsciously perceived and interpreted. If you want to develop charisma, you need to incorporate your body language into it. Keep your body tense and use gestures and facial expressions. You can see how powerful the effect can be in lectures or performances, for example. Those who speak with confidence and body tension, while using more body language to emphasize their words, appear much more attractive, persuasive and ultimately more charismatic.

Types of Charisma

Charisma is the area of expertise of psychology. It has been studied scrupulously for a long time. Experts say it is necessary to distinguish several types, in particular:

Charisma of authority. People who have it have the power to make others think that they can change their lives. An example is Bill Gates.
Charisma of kindness. These people are the embodiment of kindness, they exude it and help others feel safe, make others believe in that very goodness. Remember the Dalai Lama or the Pope.
Visionary charisma. People who inspire others and make them believe in the almost impossible. Moreover, solely due to their faith, their actions, their initiative. These are Steve Jobs, Elon Musk and other successful “dreamers”.
Charisma focus. It is often more pleasant for others to communicate not with the smartest person in the world, but with someone who makes each of them feel like the smartest person in the world. These people are focused on you, they know how to listen and empathize. They seem extremely sincere.

Often types of charisma are combined in one person. Nothing prevents you from being at the same time an authority, a dreamer, the embodiment of kindness and sincerity. However, the desire for this is a direct decision to achieve the ideal.

How to pump up your male charm

A self-confident, charismatic man is identified not by attractive facial features, but by inner fire, gaze, voice, and ability to behave.

Here are some recommendations that will help you develop qualities worthy of admiration from others:

A real man is distinguished by his loyalty to his word and reliability. Don't throw around promises unless you're sure you'll keep them. If you give your word, you must keep it. People around you should understand that they can rely on you.
Join a gym or get equipment that will allow you to organize workouts at home. Physical activity instills discipline and willpower in a man, and as a bonus, creates an attractive body shape.
Find yourself a passion or life's work. A man who is passionate about an idea, is always busy with something, makes plans and strives to implement them, arouses respect and admiration.
Watch your health. Healthy sleep, good nutrition and exercise will help you look cheerful and fresh.
Be proactive. This will help you feel responsible and influential.
Stop thinking that the world is ruled by luck, connections and miracles. Learn to rely on yourself, believe in your charisma and strength.

Sources of charisma: 10 components

There is no precise, objective definition of a charismatic personality. It is always vague, never concrete.

However, we can identify 10 key traits characteristic of a charismatic person:

The art of being persuasive.
The ability to sincerely empathize.
The ability to make people believe in themselves.
Excellent oratory skills.
The ability to present yourself and your strengths.
Strength of will.
Leadership skills.
The ability to attract and hold attention.
The ability to correctly set goals and achieve them.
Sense of humor.

Here we should also add positivity (people who exude negativity with a dissatisfied expression on their faces are rarely charismatic), the ability to behave in public and the ability to predict the desires of others, talent is liked by the majority and not to think about the opinion of the minority. It is also self-confidence, self-love and a complete absence of complexes.

Trainings and courses

Here you will find useful tutorials and resources that will tell you how to develop charisma:

Manage your charisma - English YouTube channel with Russian translation “The Art of Charisma”. On it you can study the qualities of charismatic people using the example of famous personalities and fictional characters. New videos appear almost every week and cover a variety of communication and personality issues.
Improvisation in life - training by Pavel Volya and Stanislav Sheminov (creative producer of the show “Improvisation” on TNT). On January 25, 2021, the 17th stream of the training started. You can reserve your place for the next stream. The discounted price is only 4,000 rubles. The organizers promise that there will be many exercises that will help you relax, learn to catch and hold the attention of other people, easily make acquaintances, and feel confident even in an unfamiliar group.
Charisma - a course from the School of your body. Alexey Faleev is the author of the program, psychologist, coach, master of sports in powerlifting. In addition to psychology, he has many courses on healthy eating and weight loss. The first two tasks can be downloaded and completed for free. The full version of the program costs 1,490 rubles.
Charisma is an offline training from MCPiR, which takes place in 25 cities of the country. On the website you can see if your city is on the list, or select the one closest to you. At the training, using a unique methodology from leading Russian experts, you will be helped to gain self-confidence and become the soul of any company. The program lasts 3 days. To participate, you need to leave an application on the website.
Charisma development training from the Russian School of Management. 5 days of broadcasts await you from 9.00 to 14.30 Moscow time. Personal effectiveness, speech techniques of influence, emotional intelligence, lie detection - all this is in the course program. Upon completion, you will receive a certificate of advanced training. The cost of participation in the online format with feedback from teachers is 37,425 rubles. The price of the recorded course is 29,900 rubles.

How to develop charisma for a man? TOP 5 exercises

Let's talk about how to develop male charisma. The presented exercises will be especially effective for representatives of the stronger half of humanity. But this does not mean that women cannot use them - a girl can and should take them into account. However, they are best suited for a guy.

Large mirror

You need to look at yourself from the outside. To do this, you will need a large mirror, preferably so that you can see yourself from head to toe. Every day you need to spend at least 15-25 minutes on it. At this time, you should talk to an imaginary audience and carefully monitor yourself, noting every shortcoming - for example, you are hunched over, you are not satisfied with your facial expressions, the speed of your speech, the chosen topic seems boring, and so on. Write down all the flaws so you can correct them using the same mirror.

Smart Goals

Self-confidence is the main source of charisma. If people see that you know where to go, they will instinctively follow you.

You can only be confident in the goals and objectives that you yourself believe in, which were created through a multifaceted analysis. Desires should not be a “soap bubble”. Therefore, learn to set the right goals. You can start formulating them according to criteria and use the popular SMART methodology - in accordance with it, the goal should be specific, measurable, achievable, meaningful and time-limited.

The ideal speaker

Your speech should be meaningful, persuasive and clear. You should not be ashamed of your voice and be able to speak beautifully. This can only be achieved through regular practice. Ideally, take up public speaking. If you don’t have much time to study, start by eliminating key obstacles. Watch a video of any charismatic person you think, and find the text of his speech. Repeat it and record what you say on video or at least on a voice recorder. View or listen to the result, note the shortcomings and give the speech again after “working on the mistakes”.

Public speaking and rhetoric courses will help you improve your charisma. On our website we have collected the TOP 6 best courses for those who want to learn to speak beautifully and fluently -

Disciplined fighter

The essence of it is to instill discipline in yourself. Even if by force. It is necessary to create a clear routine for the next day and stick to it. To do this, regularly spend 15-20 minutes in the evening making a plan for the next day. Do not retreat even one step from your intended tasks.

Another important point: get up and go to bed at the same time. This will form a regime that is especially necessary for practicing discipline.

Time to laugh

Laugh at yourself. Do not try to artificially lower your self-esteem under any circumstances. Just find one funny thing about yourself, be a little self-critical. Genuinely laugh at her. Find the second one and do the same. Remember a few rash actions and even a few failures - laugh at them. You must learn to laugh at yourself, at your failures, even at your complexes.

Advice from psychologists

I have collected some tips that will help you become more relaxed and interesting in the eyes of others:

Be positive. A happy person is like a burning light bulb that illuminates everything around. He charges those around him with his energy and is always the center of attention.
Learn to communicate. Yes, this skill can and should be mastered too. Many successful people believe that the most important skill to learn in school is communication. It is not perfect knowledge of subjects, but communication skills that can lead a person to Olympus. Communicate as much as possible with a variety of people.
Think less about what others will say about you. Many people hesitate to defend their point of view only because they want everyone to like them and are afraid of appearing real. Remember that someone says something about every person. Sometimes this is not true and comes from banal envy. Get used to it and evaluate whether there is any point in worrying.
Learn to love yourself. Healthy self-esteem is based on unconditional acceptance of oneself with all its shortcomings. I recommend reading our article on how to love yourself.
When talking to people, always call them by name. This is attractive and inspires confidence. Avoid topics of religion, politics, and race in conversations.
Work on your style and image, because people are greeted traditionally by their clothes. Appearance affects not only how a person is perceived by others, but also how he feels about himself. Agree, new stylish clothes always add weight to our self-confidence. Try changing your hairstyle or switching from a sporty style to a classic one.
Develop emotional intelligence. The ability to control your own emotions and find contact with people is the key to success in life.
Be better every day. Develop yourself, set goals, learn. Attend training, sign up for courses, read useful books, make new acquaintances. Don't compete in achievements with others. The only one you should measure your strength against is yourself.

How to develop charisma in a woman? TOP 5 exercises

These exercises are most suitable for girls, young women and mature women. However, men are not prohibited from using them - charisma is characteristic of representatives of both sexes and is developed through the same exercises. Regardless of gender, you can use all 10 exercises for training, remember this.

Correct posture

This is a classic book exercise that trains your posture. Body language, a straight back and a high head are important sources of your charisma. Place a heavy book on your head. Walk around the room with it, trying not to drop it. It is important to try to go as naturally as possible. Exercise daily for at least 7-10 minutes.

Cheerful morning

Positive energy is of great importance. Its basis is a vigorous awakening. It is important to form a daily routine, get up at the same time. Moreover, charging is required. Classic fitness, running, yoga, meditation - choose what you really like. Do exercises every morning, even on weekends and holidays.

Man in the hall

Most women are terribly afraid of publicity, although they crave it. You can overcome the fear of speaking in front of an audience using the well-known “person in the audience” technique. Find with your eyes the one person among those present who seems most inclined towards you. Tell him everything you owe - don’t pay attention to other people. It is also worth practicing each performance at home in front of a mirror. This way you will work on your mistakes in a timely manner and stop being afraid of mistakes.

A true friend

If men are more likely to have the charisma of a visionary and authority, then ladies are more likely to have the charisma of focus and kindness.

Therefore, you should learn to be a true friend to each of your interlocutors. Do not allow yourself to be indifferent - when communicating with each person, imagine that he is your closest friend. Be open and sincere, listen, give the person the opportunity to talk.

The Iron Lady

Willpower training. Start with the tasks that really matter to you. Let's say you've been wanting to start going to the gym for a long time, but you kept putting it off. Do it. At the same time, plan your workouts in advance and never violate your schedule. Get rid of any thoughts that this is “optional.” From now on, everything you have planned or promised is mandatory and cannot be delayed.

Dress appropriately

Two different factors come into play here.

On the one hand, a classic dress makes an impression. No one has the same visual impact in shorts and a T-shirt as in a well-fitting suit. You will immediately receive more attention, you will look more serious, more impressive, more important. These are the psychological effects whose consequences cannot be underestimated. However, you should also feel comfortable in your clothes and your appearance should still suit you. If you feel that the suit is not to your liking, find another outfit. There are many elegant and impressive alternatives.

Best books: world TOP-5

These books are extremely popular in Russia and the world. They are memorized from cover to cover by business trainers, they are actively quoted by teachers of the best universities on the planet.

TOP 5 best books on developing charisma and charm:

“Lead People” by David Novak;
"Charisma. How to Influence, Persuade and Inspire” Olivia Fox;
“Leader’s Charisma” Radislav Gandapas;
“The power of charm. How to win hearts and achieve success" Brian Tracy;
"Charisma. The Art of Successful Communication" Alan and Barbara Pease.

Don't limit yourself to these publications - you can't read 5 books and become a charismatic person.

Constantly follow new products, attend effective trainings, and show more initiative. Take advantage of what you read. Try to use the advice of experts and include the exercises they recommend in your workouts.

Maintain eye contact

Sometimes the little things can create more charisma: as simple as it may sound, simply looking into the eyes of the other person or making eye contact while lecturing in front of a group, and maintaining that eye contact will provide better influence.

Your statements will be better received, you will come across as deeply honest, and you will create a connection with everyone present. The same applies if you don't speak yourself. Show your genuine interest in what the other person is saying by maintaining eye contact and not looking around the room with a bored or annoyed look while you wait to finally take the floor again.

Is it possible to become charismatic without losing yourself?

This is usually what happens - most people train charisma without sacrificing their self. In reality, potential lies within most of us - it’s just that at some stage we were unable to develop important personal, individual qualities. And it’s never too late to do this: you will see the first results after 1-2 months of regular training. If you do not leave your chosen path, then over time your charisma will only grow.

However, there are people who should not try to train charisma if they are not at all interested in it. In particular, these are introverts who refuse to accept themselves as they are. It is important to understand that charisma always involves active communication with other people. Therefore, if you are not inclined to communicate with them, it is unlikely that anything will work out - you will simply constantly experience discomfort from the very fact of communication.

Work on your confidence

This is the basic structure on which charisma can be built.

If you lack self-confidence, you will not be able to step out of yourself and open up to others. Instead, you will retreat more and more into the background, try to hide, and instead of pulling others into your truth, you will become almost invisible. You take an important step when you learn to accept and love yourself for who you are, including all your strengths and weaknesses. With this confidence, you will be able to present yourself with a high degree of confidence, which will also be felt by everyone present.

Presence effect

This does not mean, of course, physical presence, but spiritual presence.

Quite a lot of people you talk to seem to mentally float away at some point. And let's be honest: we notice it. Everyone notices this. On the other hand, charismatic people always listen carefully and are completely focused on the question. By maintaining our presence, we not only feel more valuable, but also give our interlocutor a magical aura of importance in our eyes.

Be active

What is charisma and where to start developing it? This term is often replaced with the words “attractiveness” or “charm” and is described as the ability to attract and inspire others. Charisma manifests itself in different ways:

someone can convince a group of friends to go on vacation to a certain place;
others easily come up with games for children on playgrounds;
still others are able to form and control a queue to avoid crowding and disorder.

In all cases, the essence of charisma is manifested - the ability to act and lead people. Charismatic individuals are always active and show activity in difficult situations. They have a burning desire to complete a task to the best of their ability. Remember the biography of the Indian politician Gandhi, the leader of the Indian independence movement.

Therefore, it is important for those who want to develop charisma to start taking action and strive to improve the lives of people around them:

Prove yourself in difficult situations that require determination and courage, in which most remain on the sidelines.
Help colleagues and friends, be responsive.
Remember to be grateful to others, appreciate the actions and actions of other people, let them feel that they are important to you.

When your internal energy begins to transform into actions, it will charge those around you, giving you that same charisma in their eyes.