Each of us has met a person who behaves as if the world must “revolve” around him. Attempts to somehow influence the perception of reality of this person rarely lead to positive results. Sometimes it is difficult to believe that such people do not behave this way on purpose, but if they are characterized by egocentrism, they simply cannot do otherwise. What signs does this character trait have and is there any point in fighting it?
What is egocentrism
Egocentrism
– this is an individual’s focusing exclusively on his own interests and needs, as well as a lack of understanding of other people’s desires and emotions.
Many years ago, Swiss psychologist Jean Piaget introduced the term into psychology while studying the motives of children's behavior. He considered this phenomenon as an important condition for the cognitive activity of children, when surrounding events obey his personal needs.
By the age of 14, children's egocentrism is significantly reduced, and by adulthood its manifestations become almost invisible. As you get older, these traits may become more pronounced. It is assumed that men are more susceptible to signs of egocentrism, since women are more attentive to the feelings of others.
It is difficult for an egocentric person to build meaningful relationships with others. It’s a paradox, but the inner feeling of superiority does not deprive him of many complexes. Close people have to explain in detail their experiences and desires, so that a person with egocentrism takes care not only of himself. Collective influence can have a positive effect in the fight against egocentrism.
Self-centered person: who is it?
An egocentric person often does not even make an attempt to take the other person’s place and understand what his problem is. The point is not so much that he is not capable of this - it would not even occur to him to do such a thing.
Common features:
- Many people believe that self-centered people are angry and rude, but this is not always the case; more often than not, they are simply insensitive.
- They can communicate nicely with other people, enveloping them with too intrusive participation, without noticing that this is a burden to the interlocutor.
- When harassing someone, he does not pay any attention to the inconvenience created.
- Also, one of the manifestations of egocentrism is the egocentric’s obvious restraint in praising and expressing gratitude towards other people.
An egocentric person is not always also an egoist in the full meaning of the word - these personality types have differences, but we will describe them below.
Self-centered people are so insensitive to the world around them that it often backfires on them - they are more likely than others to be theft in a crowd (queue, transport). Not paying attention to their surroundings, they sometimes do not even feel the approach of danger. Research shows that egocentrism is often inherited.
Common Egocentric Traits
Egocentrism in psychology is a special worldview by an individual of himself as the central link of the world around him. Many people tend to exhibit egocentrism to one degree or another.
However, true egocentrics may exhibit several or even all of the traits of an egocentric personality:
- the effect of false agreement - it is typical for egocentric people to overestimate the points of view of other people. They tend to believe that the interlocutor must certainly agree with them, as if he does not have his own opinion, or, at least, have similar views on things to them;
- suppression of knowledge - if we are talking about some things or phenomena that the egocentric person is well versed in, then most likely he will conduct the conversation in a haughty manner, with some disdain, not taking into account the difference that may exist in knowledge between him and the interlocutor. If he is not strong in some topic, he will treat the conversation with indifference, demonstrating his disinterest and devaluing the discussion or experience of other people;
- a sense of transparency - egocentrics believe that other people see their emotional state in various situations, and therefore must adjust their behavior in accordance with their expectations;
- spotlight effect - this is a widespread phenomenon in psychology, characterized by the fact that a person (egocentric) greatly overestimates the degree to which other people perceive, evaluate and remember his appearance and actions.
In other words, this is a person’s sincere conviction that close social attention is directed specifically to him.
Signs of egocentrism
Let's take a closer look at the signs of egocentrism.
In children
If you notice egocentrism in a child, do not panic - this is a natural phenomenon. Between the ages of two and five, children are particularly active in learning how to interact with the outside world. At the same time, it is egocentrism that prevents the child from coming to an agreement with peers and minimizing manifestations - he focuses on his own desires and needs, without taking into account the needs of others.
Example of egocentrism
: the baby does not want to share toys with peers, and happily takes their things. Egocentrism also manifests itself in moments when a child is reprimanded - often he considers them unfair. Many people believe that this is manipulation, but no - this is a child’s natural perception of the world. It is difficult for him to explain the difference between his subjective feeling and reality, but over time the child comes to the realization that people’s views may not coincide.
Egocentrism is formed under the influence of certain factors - social norms, upbringing, environment. In adolescence it is especially pronounced. A boy or girl is completely focused on himself, but as hormonal levels return to normal, this goes away for most teenagers.
In adults
If in adolescence and childhood egocentrism is natural, then in adults these manifestations significantly complicate the lives of others.
To determine if you have it, think about whether you have the following traits:
- You do not understand many of the motives of others
. Many of the actions of others often come as a surprise to you—usually an unpleasant one. A friend invited many people to her birthday, but not you - you are shocked by this behavior, completely not remembering that some time ago you had a misunderstanding, you casually expressed unflattering words about her figure or her husband. For egocentrics, all these moments are insignificant; they quickly forget them, then they are amazed at the “unfair” attitude towards themselves. Without taking into account the feelings of other people, such a person does not grasp the connection between his behavior and the reciprocal actions of others. - You often prove that you are right when you encounter an incomprehensible reaction.
Nobody likes to argue with a self-centered person, especially knowing about this feature. Firstly, in a dispute with them, the truth is not “born” - the egocentric is only trying to prove his own rightness. There is no talk of exchange of opinions. Secondly, he is capable of a long discussion without noticing that his opponent is tired of the argument. He can also touch on topics that are unpleasant to the interlocutor without noticing it. Over time, acquaintances begin to avoid not only arguments, but also unnecessary conversations. - You think that you are being prejudiced
. Egocentrism is also characterized by excessive suspiciousness. Once out of adolescence, most people realize that those around them are often thinking about their own affairs, and are not focused on thoughts about them, as they previously believed. An egocentric person continues to think that those around him analyze his every move - it is difficult for him to imagine that in the lives of others there are often matters more important than his person. Suspiciousness with egocentrism leads to tension - imagining that others are constantly mentally evaluating you, it is difficult to maintain equanimity. -
. ” When a situation affects a self-centered person, he becomes toxic, cynical and unkind, saying a lot of unpleasant words. It can also “get” to the interlocutor, who is not to blame for his irritation, but who came to hand. When experiencing a strong shock or indignation, a person prone to egocentrism does not distinguish between the boundaries of what is permissible, often touching upon offensive “forbidden” topics, wanting to prick the interlocutor more painfully. Next comes the stage of repentance. An egocentric person quickly forgets what was said, not taking into account that the opponent’s feelings are hurt. The other extreme of egocentrism is that he withdraws into himself, mentally saying goodbye to the offender, forgetting that his behavior can lead to a real break in the relationship. - You are an experienced advisor
. With egocentrism, a person clearly knows how others should live. He perceives dissatisfaction with his attempts to interfere in other people's private affairs with resentment and irritation. In response, they may even insult their interlocutor, declaring his stupidity, laziness, or unwillingness to make life better. A person with egocentrism does not care that there were no requests for help and participation, and she cannot be convinced that her picture of the world is not ideal and does not suit everyone. - You are trying to achieve a more “fair treatment”
. When faced with someone else's hostility or neglect, you try to correct it by any means and prove the injustice of such an attitude. Egocentrism implies a tendency to manipulate: the bad attitude of others is corrected with due effort. The idea is tempting and dangerous. A person enters into an uncomfortable and destructive relationship, hoping to change the situation. Result: frayed nerves on both sides. The egocentric is fueled by the illusion that with a certain level of effort, the right arguments and the right tactics of behavior, the opponent’s personality will change. Complete exhaustion sets in, but it does not teach a person with egocentrism - he will use manipulation skills in another story.
Age limits
According to the research of Jean Piaget, egocentrism manifests itself in every stage of intellectual development:
- From 0 to 2 years, sensory motor skills develop, when the child, with the help of his senses and movements, learns about the world around him.
- From 2 to 7 years old, the child goes through the stage of pre-operational ideas - it is called so because the child is not yet able to perceive some types of experience.
- From 7 to 11 years old is the stage of concrete operations, at this stage the child knows how to use symbols (numbers, letters), but does not yet generalize and approach the solution of assigned problems logically and generally.
- After 12 years , the phase of formal operations begins, when the child uses concrete and abstract logical thinking
It is believed that after 12 years, manifestations of egocentrism disappear, however, as described earlier, this does not always happen and sometimes a person can retain egocentric traits to one degree or another throughout life.
In old age, in some people who were not previously noticed in egocentric manifestations, this phenomenon can also arise, since mental activity decreases and the elderly person begins to build some cause-and-effect relationships at the level of a child.
Egoist and egocentrist: what is the difference
Egoism and egocentrism are different concepts. With selfishness, selfish behavior is observed, focused on one's own interests to the detriment of the desires of other people. An egocentric person behaves similarly, but not because he opposes his own interests to the interests of others - he does not notice them and, unlike an egoist, often acts unconsciously.
With selfishness, a person defends his interests, clearly analyzing the current situation. With egocentrism, there is an inability to objectively analyze the situation, the inability to grasp the connection between different phenomena. In some cases, an egocentric person is capable of complete selflessness and altruism, although his help is often not only not required, but also gets in the way. An egoist clearly understands when someone needs help and when they don’t, and deliberately neglects the needs of another, realizing that this can bring inconvenience to himself.
The influence of egocentric behavior
Self-centered people experience difficulties communicating with other people, which, of course, affects different areas of their lives - in their careers, in their families, and when building friendly relationships. Their bias often leads to conflict, and their inability to empathize and accept other points of view pushes people away.
Self-centeredness negatively affects:
- formation of trusting relationships;
- personal life (closeness and intimacy);
- teamwork;
- making decisions.
Difficulties arise not only for a self-centered person, but also for his close circle, which is unable to resist his destructive traits. If loved ones fall under the influence of such a person, they can become insecure, complex, and alienated.
How to get rid of egocentrism
Having realized the presence of egocentrism, begin to fight the character trait that complicates life.
Recommended measures:
- Learn to feel the intentions and desires of relatives and friends. Egocentrism is a lack of sensitivity to other people's needs. Do not perceive reality only from your point of view - you may well be wrong. Take responsibility for mistakes.
- Focus on realistic and achievable goals. Achieve what you need, focusing less on failures and problems. Go towards goals dictated by your dreams, and not formed under the influence of others.
- Do not think that you are an exceptional person, whose problems are more important than the difficulties of relatives and friends - this is a common attitude with egocentrism. Others also have worries and troubles - from your point of view they are less important, but the reality may be different. Learn empathy and participation.
- With egocentrism, there is a tendency to give unsolicited advice. Weren't they interested in your opinion? Let the person make his own decision, do not impose.
- Be interested in the plans and capabilities of other people - do not barge in on them or make demands at your convenience. It should be comfortable for both parties.
- Need help? Forget about the requirements, consider the capabilities of other people, their well-being, mood. Egocentrism should not prevent you from noticing nuances.
- Manifestations of egocentrism can exist in married couples - husband and wife. Is this familiar? Having realized egocentrism, agree with your partner that you will mentally take each other’s place and analyze the sensations that arise. Mutual understanding will improve, regular conflicts will stop. Do not express your beliefs to your partner in an intrusive manner, do not demand acceptance of your point of view. With egocentrism, it is necessary to learn compromises. Be respectful of other people's conclusions.
