Victims (and Victims) have compassion.
They resonate with someone else’s “I feel bad” and suffer together. But empathy is different. Sympathy sometimes also manifests itself in leaving a person alone with his experiences. *** Material from Wikipedia - the free encyclopedia Sympathy
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compassion
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empathy
- one of the social aspects of empathy (emotional state), a formalized form of expressing one’s state regarding the experiences (in particular, suffering) of another person or another animal
Difference from compassion
What the word “sympathize” means is described above. Please don't confuse this with compassion. The latter is shared suffering. And here two points can be distinguished: sincere and insincere compassion.
Let's explain with an example. A friend came to us and complained about life. And we nod our heads, ooh and aah, and cry with him. Inside, everything is empty, we are just waiting for this comrade to go away with his whining. There are plenty of troubles of our own, and here comes this one too.
We shared the whining and suffering with a friend. But they did nothing to help him. They just cried together and left. This is an example of insincerity.
And when a person fully shares the suffering of his interlocutor, without turning the clock on himself, but thinking about how to help, this is a manifestation of true compassion for his neighbor.
Notes
- [www.berzinarchives.com/web/ru/archives/sutra/level2_lamrim/advanced_scope/bodhichitta/compassion_source_happiness.html His Holiness the Dalai Lama XIV - Compassion as a source of happiness. Nottingham, England, May 24, 2008]
- [www.berzinarchives.com/web/ru/archives/sutra/level2_lamrim/advanced_scope/bodhichitta/compassion_based_biology_reason.html His Holiness the Dalai Lama XIV - Compassion based on biology and reason. Prague, Czech Republic, October 11, 2006]
- [mandala.com.ua/klyuch-eto-sochuvstvie-i-mudrost/ The key is compassion and wisdom - Mandala yoga]
- [www.philosophy.ru/library/nietzsche/antichrist.html Antichrist. A curse on Christianity. F. Nietzsche]
- [iph.ras.ru/elib/2850.html Encyclopedia]
What is it like to express condolences?
What does “I sympathize” and “condolence” mean? If we have dealt with the first word, then we will now consider the second.
Turning to the dictionary, we read: to sympathize - to take part in someone’s grief.
Sparing and dry. In general, this word has become a formality. When we hear about someone's death, we offer our condolences in words. And the heart is cold and empty. As one blogger put it about this, the word is a cliche. How to print "paid for". It makes him disgusting.
And if you dig deeper, the meaning of this word is not at all the same as the explanatory dictionaries tell us. It hurts me, just like you. I am sick with you, I share your pain. And I will do everything to make it easier.
How to learn empathy?
We have successfully figured out what it means to “sympathize”. How to learn this quality? It’s one thing to talk about how you understand a person in words, and another thing to actually prove it.
To learn to sympathize with your neighbor, you need to understand him. Don’t just sit and listen, nodding your head, but mentally be somewhere far away at this time. No, it is to feel the emotions of the interlocutor at this moment. And worry with him.
This is difficult to learn. We are mostly within ourselves. And it's hard to break out of your own shell. However, it is never too late to learn.
The role of empathy in human life
According to the main hypothesis, mirror neurons were formed in living organisms during evolution in order to speed up the process of adaptation of a newborn so that he could evaluate the manifestations of the environment, capturing the attitude of more “experienced” relatives towards them.
Empathy in communication has the greatest value and importance: it is one of the main components of emotional intelligence and constitutes a certain core of communication, on which a person’s ability to build, maintain and develop interpersonal relationships depends, therefore developed empathy is necessary for every person living in society.
However, for some people the level of development of empathy plays a special role, which is primarily due to the specifics of professional activity. It is an integral condition of psychotherapeutic activity, since only empathic understanding contributes to the establishment of trusting contact between the therapist and the client and guarantees the effectiveness of treatment. Also, developed empathic abilities are urgently needed for teachers, teachers and medical workers, police officers, the Ministry of Emergency Situations, etc.
But if in some cases developed empathy is a necessary condition for the implementation of professional activities, in others it represents only one of the factors for the success of its implementation - this applies to all other professions that, to one degree or another, involve interaction with people: sales workers and services, managers, etc.
Let's give a clearer description of people with varying degrees of development of empathic abilities.
Low level of empathy
People with underdeveloped empathic abilities have difficulty establishing, maintaining and developing relationships with others. They do not understand their own feelings or the emotions of other people, and cannot correlate them with actions and thoughts. In most cases, such people are not able to find mutual understanding with the people around them in principle, but this can be expressed in two extremes: either the person behaves “closed” and detached, or aggressively. Such people are individualists, they work well on their own, rationality prevails in their thinking, etc.
Average level of empathy
A person with an average (or normal) level of development of empathic abilities has good control, shows and understands his own emotions, and also tries to behave in such a way that others do not feel bad about his words and actions. However, usually such a person judges people by their words and actions, without focusing on their feelings and emotions. Building relationships is not a serious problem for him, however, “depth” in these relationships, as a rule, is not present.
High level of empathy
A person with a high level of empathic abilities can pick up even small signals that indicate the emotional state of other people. He is able to understand almost any person and find an individual approach to him. Such people do not judge others and are distinguished by healthy altruism and goodwill. As a rule, they become good psychologists, doctors, teachers, or choose another profession related to helping people.
You can determine the level of your empathic abilities using the following methods:
- Balanced Emotional Empathy Scale (BEES).
- Emotional Empathic Tendency Scale (EETS).
- Empathic ability test proposed by Viktor Boyko.
It is important to note that in most techniques, the characteristic of high levels does not imply the ability to ignore “emotional contagion,” as neuropsychologist Chris Frith puts it. Therefore, after you take the empathy test, be sure to pay attention to the interpretation of the results.
However, a low level of development of empathic abilities always indicates the need to increase it in order to learn how to interact correctly with other people, and an average indicates that you have sufficient empathy, but you can increase it if there is a desire or need.
Where to begin?
Subject to several rules. They are light, believe me. Try to follow them when the need arises and see if you can learn to empathize. In fact, this is not given to everyone. And if we cannot understand another person, then it can be quite difficult to provide support.
So, in order to understand what empathy means, we need:
- Interest. When a person shares his experiences, we speak loudly. We don’t wander in our thoughts, but put ourselves in his place. We are trying to get to the bottom of the problem.
- The ability to remain silent. It would seem, how can sympathy be connected with silence? Sometimes a person needs to speak out. Let him speak, you listen. And try to understand his problem. Don't interrupt or comment unnecessarily. Just listen.
- Don't give advice unless asked. Have you listened and want to show how interested you are in helping your interlocutor? Don't rush to give advice unless asked, but offer to help. Don't be afraid to say, “How can I help you?”
- Look the speaker in the eye. If we examine the interior of a room while they pour out their souls in front of us, then what kind of sympathy can we talk about here? Look at your interlocutor.
- Ability to observe. And knowledge of body language. Be careful, watch the facial expressions of the person who came to you for help. Watch his hands carefully, look at his posture. Is the person trying to close himself off or, conversely, is he as open as possible? Tense or relaxed? Depending on what the interlocutor’s body tells you, you can think about how to help him.
- Don't shy away from help. Give moral support. Can't find the right words? Just be there. Does the person need financial support or your presence in some place? Provide both.
- Ability to leave on time. Sometimes a person speaks out and wants to be left alone with himself, and we start fussing around him, which irritates him even more. Allow your interlocutor to be alone with his thoughts.
This is what it means to sympathize. Now it’s clear why it’s not always possible to do this sincerely.
Examples from life
Sympathy is a feeling of empathy for a person’s troubles and a desire to help in difficult times. Only kind, sincere people have a noble feeling. Everyone can cultivate mercy towards their neighbors - rich, poor, famous and ordinary citizens.
Literary works
Arguments about empathy and compassion are discussed in works of art. Serious texts were written by different authors: Tolstoy, Sholokhov, Dostoevsky, Bulgakov, Rasputin and others.
Works on the theme of compassion:
- "War and Peace".
- "The Fate of Man."
- "Crime and Punishment".
- "Master and Margarita".
- "French lessons".
In “War and Peace” by L. Tolstoy, young Natasha Rostova is merciful, giving away her carts during hostilities. Despite her mother’s opposition, the girl gives up all the carts to save the wounded.
In “The Fate of Man” by M. Sholokhov, a young guy experiences a war, loses his family, his home, but retains a sense of humanity and a kind heart. He meets a little boy who was left an orphan. Andrei introduced himself as his father and took him in. Even after experiencing the horrors of war, Sokolov’s heart remained soft; he did not forget how to sympathize and show empathy.
From A. Platonov’s story “Yushka” I remember the main character - a sick man who has endured bullying and humiliation from the people around him all his life. He knew no sympathy towards him and did not become embittered in response to the whole world.
Yushka was a compassionate and noble man. After his death, people around him learned that the man cared for the orphan and gave his best.
Dostoevsky in Crime and Punishment describes the complex history and fate of Raskolnikov . The poor student lives in a narrow, dark room, is malnourished, but remains proud and arrogant. For the sake of financial gain, he kills an old moneylender, but in the end he suffers even more. Rodion leaves the money under a stone, then gives it to the widow Sonya Marmeladova. Despite his miserable existence, the man does not ignore the grief of others.
To meet the Master, Margarita from Bulgakov’s novel “The Master and Margarita” is ready to do anything. She contacted the devil, spent the night at his ball, met hanged men and murderers.
When Woland asked her about the reward, she asked to spare Frida from torment. Satan fully appreciated Margarita’s action and rewarded her with a meeting with her beloved.
In “French Lessons” by V. Rasputin, teacher Lidia Mikhailovna sacrifices her own reputation to help her student. A woman was playing for money with a boy who wanted to earn a piece of bread. After their plan was exposed by the director, the woman had to leave for her homeland. A simple teacher showed mercy to the child.
Mercy in the modern world
It is common for people to feel and express their emotions - this is natural, inherent in nature . An important feeling is mercy. There are people in the world who support those in need. Celebrities (actors, singers, composers and others) participate in charitable projects to help children or people who need financial assistance and moral support.
Among the famous personalities involved in charity work are Ch. Khamatova, K. Khabensky, K. Reeves, L. DiCaprio, A. Jolie. You can express compassion in any way - a kind word or monetary support. Konstantin Khabensky created a fund to help cancer patients. According to the actor, the most valuable thing is human health. He is happy to see grateful parents and happy children.
Actor Keanu Reeves believes that the basis of life is spiritual development, and material values are of little significance. He easily makes contact with homeless people, spends a lot of time in hospitals, hospitals, helping the sick.
Chulpan Khamatova cooperates with hospitals, helps in the fight against oncology, buys modern drugs and equipment, communicates with patients and their parents. The woman is looking for volunteers and blood donors, providing social and psychological assistance.
There is compassion in every person, and you shouldn’t be afraid of it. A kind heart will always be remembered and thanked, and it is pleasant to perform gratuitous deeds.
Showing pity, unfeignedly worrying about someone, sharing someone else’s pain and selflessly supporting is very important. On television and in the media, various cases of nobility and mercy are told, especially in childhood. The boy studied at school, was hooligan and disobedient. One day he saved a little girl by pulling her out of the snow in winter. No one could have thought that the boy was capable of such a brave, kind deed. Only sympathetic and kind people can show genuine sympathy.
In the discussion for the OGE, GIA, and essay on the topic “Pity and Sympathy,” it is indicated that modern youth are cruel, callous, insensitive, but there are a few who help unselfishly, not for money, but out of conscience. Society must change, and people become responsive to the grief of others, sympathize and offer help.
