It happens that you look at a person and he is smart and attractive, but cannot boast of any special successes in his career or public recognition. Upon closer acquaintance, it becomes clear that he simply lacks communication skills, that is, it would not hurt to learn what communication skills are. Let's learn a little more about this superpower.
Communication skills - what is it?
In the process of looking for a job, each of us has encountered such a requirement for a candidate as developed communication skills - what does this mean? Every second employer expects this from the applicant. Everything is very simple: to be sociable means to be able to find a common language with any person, regardless of his status, mood, gender and age. Do not confuse this with excessive talkativeness, because the ability to communicate casually and establish social connections requires a certain level of intelligence, sensitivity to the emotions of the interlocutor and personal charm.
Formula for success
Dale Carnegie’s book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” in an accessible and entertaining form reveals the main principle of communication - the ability not only to speak, but also to listen. The formula for success, dictated by the famous author, is based on empathy and attentiveness to other people's needs. This tactic helps to quickly win over your opponent.
Most of us are ready to talk about ourselves with gusto and for a long time, forgetting about everything in the flow of words. Carnegie suggests building a dialogue in such a way as to assign the main role to the interlocutor, with sincere interest to emphasize the value of his judgments and feelings. Correctly built communication is, first of all, a mutually pleasant connection.
Signs of sociability
A charming and sociable person is visible from afar: he stands out in any company, and in himself, no, no, and even attracts the eye. What makes it different from others:
- Openness and charisma
. Such people easily strike up a conversation even with strangers and are not shy about initiating communication. The fascinating manner of their communication will not leave anyone indifferent. - Broad outlook and self-confidence
. To have conversations on any topic with people of different ages, you need to be inquisitive, devote time to self-development, and confidently use your intellect. - Adaptability and listening skills
. Such a personality quality as adaptability allows you to adapt to the current mood of the interlocutor and the surrounding context in order to set the right tone for the conversation and get the desired result from it. Shutting up in time and letting your opponent speak is also an extremely important skill.
Advantages and disadvantages of a sociable person
Based on the above points, we can conclude about the advantages that we get if you are sociable.
In addition to these, they include :
- Being confident in himself and his ability to verbally (how is that?) interact with people, a person can take control of situations and lead a team. Therefore, horizons open wider when choosing a place and position.
- The ability to competently find a compromise between two parties; conduct a dialogue, not only satisfying your needs; bring negotiations to a common goal. Applies to both the work sphere and building personal relationships.
- Successful resolution of conflicts under any circumstances.
- A feeling of comfort in the team both at the university and in the office.
With all the bright colors, there are also disadvantages of communication skills , as in any human quality:
- In order to achieve your goals when communicating, not only “white methods” can be used, but also manipulation (what is that?), blackmail, and suppression of the opponent.
- Such people often engage in networking (how is that?) - they specifically make acquaintances in order to have connections in different areas and issues. Therefore, they can behave quite intrusively when talking with new people.
- To attract the interlocutor, theatrical gestures, intonations and pauses are used. Sometimes they can go too far with artistry, which looks ridiculous.
Why do you need communication skills?
A person is part of society, a thread in an endless web of contacts, and communication with people is as integral a part of our everyday life as washing our hands or having lunch. At the same time, the quality of this communication and the nature of the established connections play a huge role in the development of an individual personality. Successfully established business acquaintances contribute to career advancement. The ability to find a common language with anyone gives you confidence when traveling and helps you find interesting friends. The right words open any doors and amazing opportunities.
Communication and sociability - differences
Concepts such as communication and sociability are often confused, because they both relate to interpersonal communication. However, it is wrong to consider them synonyms because their meanings are very different. Communicativeness is the ability to formulate a thought, emotion or feeling into understandable words and reproduce them, and in addition, to perceive and understand other people’s words, grasping the meanings embedded in them. That is, this term denotes a certain decoding function that the human brain learns to perform from childhood, but which can also be taught by technical means.
The development of communication skills presupposes not only the ability to perform communicative functions, but also to do it effectively, so that in the process strong social connections are established and certain communication goals are achieved. Only humans can be communicative; it is not yet possible to develop it in artificial mechanisms.
Are you shy and can't overcome it?
Start working on your image. Make up your mind once, and always follow the intended path towards your goal.
Share your thoughts with your work colleagues, chat with them in an informal setting. Invite them to a cafe or to an event. Build bridges, start communicating and continue to do so constantly. You will immediately see how people react to positive changes in you. How they reciprocate. You will be successful because you were able to show your importance.
A person’s professional career often depends on the level of communication skills. Many professions are simply associated with this concept. Imagine a journalist, presenter, manager or stylist, and many other professions can be cited as examples. To what extent is it important for them to be sociable! This is their bread, one might say so.
The more sociable a person is, the better his contact with others.
He achieves his goal much faster. He knows how to make a good impression. People are drawn to him. He is always the center of attention. Luck is with him. Success awaits him! Tweet Pin It
Benefits of communication skills
The ability to have a lively, relaxed conversation sets a person apart in any company, at parties and even in a work environment. People who are closed and silent - on the contrary, are hardly noticeable and are not remembered by anyone. Because of this, sociability can safely be considered as an undeniable advantage, which has a lot of advantages:
- Sociable people arrange their personal lives easier and happier because they boldly make acquaintances, enjoy getting to know those around them better, and better understand how to build relationships.
- Pleasant and sociable people who know what communication skills are are more willing to be hired, and the ability to maintain a positive climate in a team and competently convey their thoughts are characteristics of truly valuable employees who receive both promotions and financial rewards.
- Sociability is the key to an active social life, and a sense of belonging to society largely influences self-identification and personal integrity.
Examples of communicative behavior
Simple examples of the manifestation of sociability in modern society:
- A relaxed way to meet people of the opposite sex. A sociable man knows how to make himself noticeable to a certain woman with just a couple of sentences. Being cheerful and sociable, he will immediately make jokes or give an unobtrusive compliment. With a modest and silent girl, at first he will simply sit next to him, ask what time it is and ask some other trivial question;
- Demonstration of leadership in the work team. Some people, when they start a new job, easily get to know everyone at once and do not hesitate to talk about their lives. Within a couple of months, such individuals become the soul of the company. If necessary, they will help out or cover for a colleague, but at the same time they will not allow anyone to sit on their neck. Everyone's favorites in work teams are highly likely to make a career faster;
- Confident interaction with strangers. There are situations when a sociable person needs to get a benefit and at the same time prove to his interlocutor that it will also be useful to him. A striking example is an attempt to reduce the price on the market. In this case, bargaining will be a manifestation of sociability. The buyer says that he is ready to buy two things at once, but at a more affordable price. Such an offer is beneficial to the seller and he agrees.
Types of Communication Skills
Communication skills are not innate; they are acquired and developed by us as we grow older. Depending on the level of its development and the function pursued by communication, three types of communication skills are distinguished:
- Information and communication
. These are the primary skills that make it possible to interact with others. They include the skills to: observe generally accepted rules of politeness, voice requests, adequately formulate your own and perceive other people’s thoughts. - Regulatory and communicative
. Such skills enable teamwork. They are: the ability to lead and set tasks, formulate problems and jointly find their solutions, listen to advice, express approval and disapproval. - Affective-communicative
. They lie on the emotional plane. A sociable person with these skills is empathetic, receptive to the feelings of others, and is able to understand others’ and voice their emotions.
How is it different from communication?
Usually sociable people have excellent communication skills. They can turn the dialogue in the right direction and persuade listeners to their opinion. A communicative person always expresses thoughts clearly and clearly. The difference is that communication with a communicative person can cause boredom, but a sociable person is characterized by the ability to win over the interlocutor and create an interesting atmosphere during the conversation. The speech of a simply communicative subject is often characterized by dryness and stinginess, while that of a sociable individual is characterized by brightness and expressiveness.
The differences between the two concepts are that sociability is the skill of skillfully establishing contact with others and ease of communication, and communicativeness is intelligibility in conveying the necessary information to the listener. Communicativeness means the ability to convey information, feelings, conclusions to another subject in a correct and accessible form. In other words, communication skills ensure the quality of information transfer, and sociability is responsible for the emotional plan of communication. The first concept is expressed in how completely and accurately the information is conveyed, the second is the ability to interest listeners in your story. A person may have both of these skills or one of them.
Communication is not an innate quality. It includes active listening, non-verbal communication, understanding the feelings of the interlocutor, managing one’s anger and emotions, and the ability to express and defend one’s opinion. These properties can be improved throughout life. Written communication is expressed in full mastery of the techniques of composing various business and personal letters and filling out official documentation.
The ability to clearly express one's thoughts is usually inherent in managers and their secretaries.
Models of communication skills
Different characters, upbringing, types of temperaments - because of all these features, each person shows sociability in his own way. Based on general similarities, psychologists have identified several basic models of communication skills:
- Dominant
. This is a noisy, almost aggressive manner of communication, which aims to demonstrate its superiority in any situations and groups. - Introverted
. This ability to communicate appears very insecure, characterized by a muffled voice and excessive compliance. - Rigid
. Communication of this model is characterized by noticeable slowness, careful choice of words and long pauses. - Mobile
. In contrast to the previous style of communication, the mobile nature of communication is impatient, characterized by the speed of introduction into the conversation with a quick loss of interest in it.
Communication problems
Insufficiently developed ability to find a common language in most cases is a consequence of lack of self-confidence. The fear of saying the wrong thing, being misunderstood and not accepted, causing ridicule - all this slows down communication skills. At the same time, self-sufficient people depend little on the opinions or assessments of others and boldly convey their charm to the masses, and when embarrassed, they will cheerfully laugh at the situation along with everyone else, without changing their self-esteem.
Rules for pleasant and productive communication
To become an interesting conversationalist, apply the rules of conflict-free healthy communication in your dialogue:
- Don't be distracted by other things. The person opposite you is in charge. Accept it with all its shortcomings, pay maximum attention.
- Be flexible. To understand each other, adapt to the manner of conversation and tone of voice.
- Try to understand. Be on the same wavelength, delve into the problems. Adjust the conversation a little later. Communicate in a friendly manner, do not use swear words.
- Do not base your speech on accusations; eliminate parasitic words from your vocabulary. Don’t say annoying “always” and “never”. Communicate on specific topics, avoid vague phrases.
- Make jokes without getting personal.
Lastly, advice that is not asked for is inappropriate. People don’t like being lectured and mistakes pointed out. If the interlocutor mispronounced a word, pretend that you didn’t notice the mistake.
Children's sociability
Every parent knows what children's sociability, generated by a small, inquisitive brain, is. Endless questions, a thirst for attention - everyone experienced such a period in early childhood. It is important to teach the child to show this sociability not only in relation to relatives, but also not to be afraid of social interaction outside the home. The sooner you can master the art of communication, the easier it will be for a little person to become a full-fledged mature personality.
The best way to develop children's communication skills is to teach communication by example: let the child attend events with you, observe the manner of communication and adopt it. Encourage his initiative in making acquaintances on the playground, gently push him to interact. What is most important is to ensure that he develops healthy self-esteem, which will serve as a stable internal core of self-confidence, which is so necessary for high sociability.
Ways to develop communication skills
Communication is a tool that requires constant improvement. Communication skills can be developed, that is, if today you are afraid to enter into dialogue and think that you do not know how to communicate, work on yourself. Everyone can learn to be an active and pleasant conversationalist.
To do this, it is important to apply a simple set of rules aimed at developing communication.
- We are leaving our comfort zone. Don't be afraid to enrich your life with new acquaintances just because you think you won't be accepted by society. Be friendly and confident. Throw away unnecessary worry and believe that everything is going well.
- Look for the good. The most difficult person to communicate with or the most unpleasant person for you cannot be absolutely bad and have no merits. Strive to find the best in people. Want to see your interlocutor from his best side.
- Be forgiving of other people's shortcomings. Before you judge someone, try to put yourself in their shoes. Nobody is perfect. Including you.
- Be proactive. When faced with an unfamiliar person, do not rush to run away. Talk to him first. The greeting and your question may not be original, but the next time you see him again, it will be much easier for you to start a conversation. Most likely, you won’t have to do this at all, and your friend will decide to approach you himself!
Love people, open up to communication. Who knows, maybe today's casual acquaintance will become your best friend, support and shield tomorrow?
How to develop communication skills?
All tips on how to improve your sociability boil down to one simple rule: try not to avoid communication. Any skill is honed by experience, so attend public events, strike up conversations, be sincere and enjoy communication, improve the skill with practice, polish it with exercises, and read books to broaden your horizons.
Exercises to develop communication skills
Individual or group exercises in a playful way have a very positive effect on the development of communication skills, for example:
- "Performance in front of the mirror"
. Place a mirror in front of you, choose any idea that comes to mind, and develop it out loud to yourself. This way you practice communicating your thoughts coherently and can observe your speaking style, adjust your facial expressions and gestures. - "Reading a lecture"
. This exercise is best practiced in pairs: take turns with your partner to choose any object and describe to each other its appearance, history and purpose as fully as possible. - "Continue the topic
. While in the company of about 4-5 people, create a whole story together: someone starts a story on any topic, and at the command of the leader, the next participant must continue it. This trains the ability to talk about anything.
Books for developing communication skills
You can and should learn not only from your own experience, but also by listening to useful advice, which is abundant in good books. Here are some that will help improve your communication skills:
- “Psychology of influence”
by R. Cialdini. This book contains advice from an American psychologist on training the ability to persuade and influence the behavior of others with your words. He also shares knowledge about how to recognize and not succumb to manipulation. - “Body Language”
by A. and B. Pease. This book will answer the question of what nonverbal communication is, and will teach you to capture and decipher the unconscious signals of the interlocutor’s body. - “TED TALKS.
Words Change the World: The First Authorized Guide to Public Speaking" by K. Anderson. Based on an analysis of the behavior of the most interesting speakers, the book will tell you how to prepare and deliver an exciting public speech. Many of the tips from it apply to everyday communication.
Verbal and non-verbal communication
Verbal communication is built on the basis of speech and dialogues. Instructions for acquiring verbal communication skills:
- Start with general topics, talk about what you saw. If you don't want to talk about the weather, give it a compliment.
- During the conversation, avoid obvious phrases. Go to specific events and facts. Discuss an interesting book or movie. Ask questions that require detailed answers. Don't be too frank.
- Be the first to communicate with strangers on public transport, in a store, in the yard with your neighbors, even if you don’t feel like it. Repeat this exercise 2 times daily.
Nonverbal interaction involves transmitting information without words. In this case, facial expressions, gestures, postures are used, creating images and pantomimes.
To master nonverbal communication skills, follow the recommendations:
- Critically evaluate your gait, posture, identify problems. If you look away, don’t expect a trusting relationship from your interlocutor. Watch the intonation of the spoken words.
- Involve a friend, ask to watch you from the side. Keep your back straight while walking. Do not swing your arms with a large amplitude and do not press them to your body. Learn to smile while talking and look into your eyes.
- Training in front of a mirror helps to gesticulate correctly and “hold” your face.
To learn to communicate nonverbally, when speaking, the entire range of motor skills is memorized. Looks, tone of voice, facial expressions are compared with emotions and conclusions are drawn. After mastering the language of nonverbal communication, the desire to manipulate you will fail.
