How to understand if a man needs you: signs and 15 ways to check

When thinking about whether the man you love needs you, you discard stereotypes about deep psychological differences between the sexes. It is important to see in front of you a person with ordinary human fears and needs. This will help you understand even the most complex soul, establish contact, and build a harmonious connection. The next step is sincerity. She is the one who breaks down the walls of misunderstanding.

What indicates indifference

As a psychologist, I distinguish several aspects that clearly indicate that the chosen one is not serious. This includes many signs manifested in the partner’s behavior:

• The companion does not take into account the girl’s wishes regarding places to hang out. He makes dates himself, and in the remaining time he makes excuses for his busy schedule or does not answer calls. No matter how much he has to do, he will find a moment to chat or meet with his loved one.
• He prefers to see each other on neutral territory and only late in the evening or at night. Usually gentlemen allow themselves to behave this way with their mistresses.
• He does not want to introduce the woman to his family and friends. He says practically nothing about himself, and does not strive to enter the social circle of his chosen one.
• He often expresses dissatisfaction about his passion: her behavior, appearance or hobbies. But at the same time he does not part with her. As a rule, he seeks to hit the lady’s self-esteem.
• He may be the first to start a quarrel, and then disappear so that the girl feels guilty.

Another way to understand that a man or guy doesn’t need you is to listen to his speech. All compliments and pleasantries seem terribly vulgar and unnatural. If he doesn’t take it seriously, then he doesn’t consider it necessary to waste energy on such things. Moreover, he may use insults and profanity.

Ways to determine your own importance in a man’s life

Lovers can get confused in emotions, subtle love games, countless hints, and ambiguity in dialogues. Human psychology becomes more complex, so it is difficult to distinguish a mask from sincerity. The main advice to all lovers is that actions are more valuable than graceful gestures, and self-love is higher than relationships.

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Signs that he really needs you

In the initial phase of a relationship, a man who is not indifferent to a girl has difficulty controlling his feelings. The euphoria of love does not allow you to forget about your beloved even for a moment. There are obvious signs by which you can find out about the feelings of your chosen one:

• Strives to communicate, to see each other. This will help ensure that he is very interested at the beginning of the relationship. Even the busiest guys in love find moments for kind words, calls, and dates. If a partner has dry contact with a woman once a week, this is unacceptable either for stable long-term couples or for starting a love affair. There is a romantic misconception about a withdrawn man who is reserved and cruel only with those close to him. But this type shows feelings not by talking, but by action, that is, with help, care. He is interested in everyday difficulties, problems and the girl’s well-being. You can be sure that you are not indifferent. If the chosen one declares his love, but demonstratively shows coldness, deliberately confuses the girl, and disappears for a long time - these are the characteristics of an abuser (psychological rapist). An interested guy somehow shows passion.
• He does not hide his chosen one from his friends, and behaves tenderly around his companion. In post-Soviet territory, there is no tradition of a woman meeting her lover’s friends. This gesture could be showing off your gorgeous new girlfriend. But a fundamental silencing of relationships, aloof behavior in public is unacceptable, even if the guy is a fan of the idea of ​​happiness that loves silence.

• Meeting your other half's relatives. This is traditional for the Russian-speaking environment. A traditionalist guy, already in the first months of a serious relationship, will want to introduce his beloved to his family and be introduced to her relatives. This point does not concern progressive young people. But if his relationship with his loved ones is warm, then they will know about his partner. It will happen by itself. For example, at a big family holiday, where you can’t go without a partner.
• He is interested in the girl’s thoughts about children. Such conversations help to find out a man's true intentions. These topics are rarely brought up with casual girlfriends. You should not take his interest as plans for the near future.
• Doesn't get distracted by other beauties. It is important for men who insist on male polygamy to be reminded that it is a characteristic of the species, not the sex. Devaluing the feelings of the chosen one indicates disrespect.
• Listens carefully, clarifies, remembers the details of the conversation. For spiritual rapprochement, sincere, long-term communication is necessary. Representatives of both sexes understand this, so pay attention to his interest during conversations.

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• Not in a hurry to make love. Sometimes such a rush indicates not only passion, but also feelings, although in the “bed issue” many men remain traditionalists. And yet sexual attraction is natural for a person in love. If the chosen one is passive for months and enjoys only conversations, then for him this is friendship without romantic attachment.

How to find out that he communicates only for sex

It happens that a man is attracted to one girl for a long time only out of sexual interest. The duration of the relationship does not indicate affection. Sometimes a person collects sexual victories. To determine whether a guy needs you as a person, you need to pay attention to:

• his ability to communicate without erotic overtones and intimate interaction (including kissing, caresses): transferring any discussions or important conversations into a sexual direction can indicate a frivolous, superficial attitude towards his partner;
• his interest in joint leisure: if sex is regular, but there is no joint entertainment, perhaps the connection only lasts in bed;

• the number of his conversations about himself: sometimes passionate lovers can enthusiastically talk with their partner, however, almost always about their own achievements, problems, experiences, perhaps he just needs a listener, this type is prone to abuse, because he communicates for self-affirmation;
• the desire to lead a common life: common large purchases and animals bind tightly, this is already a small family (albeit without the stamp, children).

Love blinds, so it is important to evaluate your partner’s attitude only based on facts, without thinking too much.

In order to understand on the first dates whether a man is serious about a woman, you should pay attention to the following aspects:

1. The desire of a young man to give gifts. It's not about the price, but about their availability, relevance for a particular girl (correspondence to her interests, needs). Gifts reflect a desire to please and attentiveness to a woman’s inner world. An important nuance: if a guy stubbornly saves money on a girl (takes her to budget establishments, counts every penny), then there is a risk that he does not want to spend money on a passing hobby.
2. The guy is too spontaneous and relaxed. Such self-confidence is rarely demonstrated in front of the object of sympathy, and even during the candy-bouquet period. Excited intonations and glances are natural at this stage.
3. Complete absence of emotions, detachment. The interlocutor may be charming, well-mannered, polite, but completely indifferent, as if he were working out a standard script. Here you should trust your intuition, wait, and observe. It's not a good sign if the evening ends with intimacy or hints of it. Such men disappear after the first refusal of sex.
4. Features of communication. If a young man talked about himself all evening, perhaps it was a matter of excitement. But when the situation does not change in subsequent meetings, most likely the guy is selfish. Narcissistic men talk about their profession, success, and not about family and childhood. “Family” themes can mean openness, a desire to get closer.

Signs that he loves you and is ready to propose

True love excludes formalities, conventions, and rules. Respect, sincerity, comfort and strong attraction are simply felt. If there is a need to evaluate the relationship from the outside, you should consider:

1. A man's possessiveness (without extremes and discomfort for a girl) is a manifestation of love. He's definitely serious.
2. After a while, the chosen one continues to enjoy the girl’s company (meets and sees off, writes messages, reluctantly says goodbye, leaving for work).
3. Lovers worry about the mood and health of their partner. It should be remembered whether the companion asked the appropriate questions and was interested in the answers. A partner does not have to be interested regularly, but indifference does not indicate love.
4. Declaration of love. If it was said at the first meetings, when there was no intimacy yet, then the situation is controversial. Perhaps this is a method of seducing a girl. If the relationship has taken place, then these words indicate the seriousness of the plans of your loved one.
5. You can “test” your companion by getting to know your relatives. They don’t dare do this for the sake of a temporary girlfriend.

Which shows his indifference

After the first romantic period, when the masks are dropped, indifference becomes cruel. The absence of feelings will be indicated by the features of his behavior:

• pickiness (to the partner’s lifestyle, appearance, hobbies): there is no need to justify this rudeness with straightforwardness;
• arrogance, skepticism: most conversations are conducted in this tone;
• disinterest in joint problem solving, their denial;
• secrecy: groundless mistrust is incompatible with intimacy (a man may remain silent about his place of work, be lazy to talk about the events of the day);
• comparisons with your ideal women, with friends, former lovers (flattering your current partner by humiliating your ex-girlfriends is also not the best signal);
• inability to forgive, excessive demands (it is worth remembering that lovers forgive a lot, but minor imperfections and frivolous offenses may not be noticed).

Indifference can be friendly and gentle. There is respect, common interests, but without passion. This is a rare scenario that is typical of long-standing, proven friendships. Often these nuances are discussed by partners in advance and suit both of them.

Factors of interest

A partner changes if he really has feelings. This is indicated by the following aspects:

• He listens to her opinion. Often we don't notice that a person really appreciates us. Even taking our opinion into account already says a lot. Especially if he doesn’t agree with him, but still does what the chosen one asks.
• Compliments. He often focuses on how gentle, beautiful, and talented the person is. These are not easy words, he notices every detail in her.
• Tenderness and care are a clear sign of his sympathy. And if he cannot live even a day without your loving gaze, then he needs you. Lovers devote a lot of time to their companions and completely forget about the clock.
• Present. Even if it’s one present in six months, you shouldn’t be upset by this fact. Every surprise is valuable, and women must understand this.

What motivates men

The foundation of a male personality is simpler than a female one, but these “whales” have a powerful influence on all aspects of a “male’s” life, including the development of a love affair:

1. Self-image.
2. Class.
3. Income level.

Based on these indicators, a man identifies himself as a person in the world. If the other two “pillars” correspond to the vision, the guy will be harmonious, capable of building adequate, long-term, high-quality relationships.

How to understand if a man needs you

If the gentleman is in love, then the companion will feel it, and the need to ask such questions will automatically disappear. Your beloved will not feel a lack of care and affection, and a busy schedule will not become an obstacle to spending the evening together.

Moreover, the companion will not dare to be secretive. In the very first week, he will introduce his chosen one to his close circle of friends, talk about himself and his interests. In addition, several other signs indicate the current location:

• He's trying to become better. For example, I was able to overcome negative habits, got a better-paid job, and bought a car.
• He notices every little thing and the slightest change in his beloved, and gallantry and politeness are felt in his behavior.
• Falling in love provokes jealousy in a guy. But he will not make a scene or start quarrels. When his companion communicates with other young people, he will simply hug her, letting everyone know that she is in a relationship.

There is an opinion that guys need time to sort out their feelings and realize whether they love a girl. And this is used as an excuse for his indifference. However, it is almost impossible to hide sincere sympathy, so the lady will understand how her boyfriend is feeling. Many people strive for stability and starting a family. But if the partner does not want to accept this, then there is no point in continuing such an affair.

Psychologist Daria Milai

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Take your time, maybe he needs you

If doubts creep into your head, do not succumb to them and momentary emotions, do not get carried away. It often happens that you think so. Perhaps, somewhere in the subconscious you are afraid of being unnecessary and are looking for something that is not really there, thereby provoking problems:

1. Unfounded suspicions strain the situation.
2. Irritability on your part pushes your partner away.
3. Uncertainty spoils the mood, and you ruin it for those around you.

So just take your time

. Yes, you notice that tension has arisen between you: you see each other less often or he is not as affectionate and attentive as he was before. But no one is stopping you from talking. Tell us what's bothering you. You'll see, most likely, your doubts are in vain.

A casual conversation is the best way to solve any problems and anticipate them.

Does love exist at a distance

In this case, it all depends on the situation. If you met on vacation in another country or in an entertainment venue, then the likelihood of creating a long-term and serious relationship is low.

However, a couple can meet at a distance due to study or military service. If a man needs you, then messages and calls from him will come often. He will tell you how your day went and take an interest in your affairs. He will definitely find at least a minute for you and will definitely not resort to excuses and false promises.

A woman should watch who initiates communication more often. If he rarely texts or calls first, then this is not a very good sign. Perhaps her life does not interest him.

Changing the situation

Take the initiative and don't despair. Start quietly restructuring your life:

• If lately you have often asked him where he went and when he will come. Stop doing that: “Bye, have a nice day!” Over time, he himself will be surprised why you call less often and are not interested in him. When he is alarmed by this fact, explain everything as it is;
• What if, on the contrary, you are too unkind to him, and he decides that he is not interested in you. And it’s not uncommon when people don’t hear each other. He thinks that you have lost interest in him, but you are the opposite. Because of such simple things, many couples have already broken up. Take note of this;
• Make him a little jealous. But here you have to be very careful, many guys leave in such a situation. It's not that he doesn't care about you. And the fact is that if it’s better for you, then he only wants happiness.

It’s easy to give advice, but more difficult to implement. the future of the family depends on how wise your actions are

.

Checking feelings

If you have doubts about your lover’s sincerity, it is enough to check how he feels. A few tips will help with this:

• Stop showing interest in his affairs. Conversations about where and with whom the guy was, what he was doing, should be reduced to “no”. A gentleman in love will definitely not ignore the changes and will begin to ask why they happened.
• Make you jealous. It is enough to ask a colleague for a ride home after work, and during the conversation, gently hint about it, but without details. Calls and messages on your phone can also trigger this feeling.
• Change. A new hairstyle, shoes or outfit will make a gentleman wonder who his girlfriend got a makeover for.

At the same time, you should not fight for a connection that is too far from ideal. Why waste your energy and youth on this when you can find a truly loving and caring man.

The main signs that a guy is ready to propose

It is difficult to distinguish the signs of an impending proposal from a man’s simple desire to keep a woman for a while. He can skillfully manipulate his partner’s feelings for many years until a more suitable match for him appears. In this case, how do you know that your partner is ready to settle down and is moving towards the idea of ​​starting a family? There are several main signs that indicate that a man is ready to propose to you:

• will discuss with his companion the future prospects for purchasing a home;
• reveals the secret of his income and begins to spend it sparingly; the former spender realizes that in order to provide for his family he will have to give up spending on entertainment;
• will sincerely love the quirks of his partner and will treat them with tenderness;
• will leave toothbrushes and razors in his beloved’s house and allow numerous tubes of creams to be located in his bathroom;
• will begin to perceive you as the future mother of his children, and will ask you to dress warmly, without risking your health for the sake of beauty.

How to understand and check whether a guy needs you after a breakup

There are girls who cannot get out of their heads the obsessive thought of getting back together with their ex. But before you get down to business, you need to be able to determine how he feels about you now. Methods include:

• If he sends SMS or calls, it means that he values ​​you as a pleasant interlocutor. When he gets in touch more than once a week, he definitely needs your company.
• Sports activities. After breaking up, representatives of the stronger sex begin to lead an active lifestyle. The method helps them cope with emotional shock.
• After a breakup, men try to cut off all contacts. And this is a clear method of understanding that your husband or boyfriend doesn’t need you. However, if he continues to see you and insists on friendship, then the feelings remain.

But before you decide to resume your relationship, first remember the reasons for the separation. Mental wounds inflicted during the period when you were together will not heal quickly. And even if the guy is ready to try again, this does not mean that the attempt will be successful.

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Signs of a man's indifference

How can you understand, without knowing the true motives of a young man, that he is interested in continuing the relationship, and that his words are not a cheap show? After all, behind the veil of rose-colored glasses, the obvious indifference of a partner can be mistakenly perceived as a character trait, constant changes of plans and cancellations of meetings - busyness and demand at work.

Psychologists have identified characteristic signs of indifference that will help distinguish a fake boyfriend from a man with serious intentions. So, the relationship is deprived of development if he:

1. He always sets the place and time of the meeting himself, and is not interested in his companion’s desire to go anywhere.
2. Unexpectedly cancels dates and regularly fails to show up on time.
3. Shows mild interest in the girl’s personality. He is not interested in her feelings, past and plans for the future.
4. He may not be in touch for a long time, and when he appears he explains his absence by being too busy.
5. He perceives his partner solely as a beautiful cover, being picky about her appearance.
6. Often compares with ex-girlfriends/wives. Unflattering statements about one woman compared to another do not characterize a man as a reliable life partner.
7. Finds the slightest reason for a quarrel and sets special (favorable for himself) conditions for reconciliation.
8. She openly flirts, follows other representatives of the fair sex with her eyes and does not even try to hide it.
9. Does not introduce him to close friends and relatives. And if he invites you to some noisy party, he brags about his new passion as if it were just another newfangled gadget.
10. Often uses obscene language, shows aggression and grossly violates the personal space of his companion.

Characteristics of the zodiac signs

You can find out about sincerity by referring to the horoscope. Each of its representatives has its own characteristics and shows affection in its own way.

Aries

Men can hardly be called patient. They want everything and indicate it openly. But even despite their persistence, you should not believe in their love. They can express similar emotions to many. Serious intentions are evidenced by the fact that they suddenly stop rushing things and try to create comfort.

Taurus

If he likes a woman, she will know about it immediately. He will often contact her and conquer her with courtship methods. He will begin to invite her to various events and give her gifts. But his uncertainty can make the candy-bouquet stage too long.

Twins

Guys love to flirt, they inventively court the ladies, and their chosen ones will not get bored. However, gentlemen tend to idealize their companion. Therefore, after a while, they may become disappointed in her and go in search of another.

Cancer

This is a homebody who puts family and its values ​​above all else. First, he will find out how the girl feels about women’s responsibilities around the house, and only then he will invite her to date. With real feelings, he will fulfill all the wishes of his beloved. But her loyalty and devotion are important to him.

a lion

He is characterized by ambition and straightforwardness. He immediately points out his location. And during the period of courtship, he takes his companion to restaurants and intrigues with his noble behavior. But women should not immediately think about their partner’s sincere love. You can understand that a man of this zodiac sign does not need you when he starts talking about his advantages and successes, without being interested in your life.

Virgo

You can safely trust these gentlemen. They love to analyze situations and give wise advice. But they are not used to being frank and show a predisposition to hint.

Scales

Guys are not prone to conflicts, are positive, but do not rush things with their chosen one. The reason for this is the fear of taking a responsible step.

Scorpion

Gentlemen have a characteristic charisma and charm and thereby attract the opposite sex. They are able to give their companion a lot of tenderness and care, they love to say pleasantries, but this does not mean the sincerity of their intentions.

Sagittarius

They express affection with gifts and courtship, but at the same time value their own independence. The girl must prepare for adventures and all kinds of adventures. After all, they are so attractive. But with sincerity and seriousness, the guy tries to devote all his free time to his beloved.

Capricorn

Distinguished by distrust. He is prone to double-checking and falls in love rather difficultly, as he is afraid to show emotions. It is important for such men to realize that they can completely trust a woman. And when this happens, they will begin to consult with her and make other signs of attention.

Aquarius

They are charismatic and love to express their affection out loud rather than through actions. It’s easier for a guy to infiltrate first his friends and then his lover.

Fish

They are distinguished by sensuality and emotionality. In relationships there are emotional quarrels and no less passionate truces. At the same time, they are too touchy. Therefore, if there are no feelings, they leave the partner. And it is unlikely that they will be returned.

Nonverbal signs of sympathy

During acquaintance, first dates, unconscious actions and behavior will say more about feelings than words and promises. The ability to correctly read poses and glances will allow you to accurately determine your partner’s intentions. Of course, there is always a risk of stumbling upon a true womanizer, an expert in psychology, skillfully mastering and controlling non-verbal techniques. But even they will not risk intoxicating the one who, instead of putting on rose-colored glasses, filters the incoming fluids.

A man truly in love tries in every possible way to get closer to the girl, his body and gaze are turned to her, he tries to present himself in the best possible way, straightening his hair, straightening his shoulders. As the conversation continues, he listens attentively, is not distracted by random interlocutors, tries to casually touch his hand or straighten his hair. He notices changes in behavior, asks about hobbies, offers help, introduces friends. He does not put on a performance filled with sugary compliments, and does not forget the little things said.

Each person has his own temperament, some are lost in the presence of the object of love, others, on the contrary, try to bring themselves into the spotlight. But those who pursue only the goal of getting what they want are betrayed by forcing the development of dialogue, lack of concentration and placing emphasis exclusively in the chosen direction.

Factors of consumer attitude

Girls wonder why others have better relationships, what their advantage is. It's all about choosing the man next to you. Unfortunately, today we often encounter a similar variety. You can recognize it by the behavior of the chosen one.

He will not pay attention to a woman’s appearance, her interests and affairs. He makes his own decisions about meetings and when and how much time to devote to them. He sees in his companion someone who will fulfill all his whims. And you need to get rid of such contacts.

In my personal consultation, I will help you make your life brighter, raise your self-esteem, and also love yourself.

Three things make up the DNA of manhood

Age is not an indicator of maturity; there are many examples of young guys leading a more conscious lifestyle than older, wise men who accuse everyone of personal failure.

The origins of responsibility lie in evolution, which created a mechanism for the survival of the species that is still relevant today, adjusted for the situation:

1. To feel like the best, number one in certain areas of life, recognized as the “leader of the pack.”
2. To extract and protect is built into the gene set. Provide the family with housing (safety), provide the necessities (food, clothing, essential expenses), and then provide the best possible.
3. Have trophies, the opportunity to stand out among other males.

Women have a saving “but”. Anka is fat, bow-legged, but wears a mink coat, Irka gave up her career, but is raising three wonderful kids, Anka has a nasty character, but a wealthy husband. Men have no reservations. Oleg has been driving a five-wheeler for ten years, but his wife’s breathtaking appearance does not work in the “boyish” world.

Behavior of a married man

In a situation where you like someone who is already busy, his manners will be somewhat different, because he is limited in his actions. Reasons that he cares about you:

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• he will take into account your schedule and adapt to the schedule;
• he will not make false promises that he will soon divorce and remain honest;
• even if he is a busy person, he will find a minute to please his partner with gifts and attention.

But such relationships are quite complex. After all, there is no guarantee that he will choose his beloved girl and not his family.

Several ways to check his feelings

You need to take into account the bias of your own perception and analyze the situation critically. It is better to trust not so much the words and small charming gestures of your loved one, but rather his actions. To make sure your partner cares:

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• they ask you to change your plans a little (regular whims, demands only make them more distant);
• ask for help (an indifferent partner is too lazy to help his chosen one, he cannot hide his annoyance);
• dress comfortably, do not try to look perfect (if a man likes the natural appearance of his companion, it means he loves);
• reveal a secret, “strangeness” (if the chosen one reacts calmly, then this will bring them closer and make the relationship more comfortable);
• unexpectedly show tenderness (if his reaction is positive, he will take the initiative, which means he is enjoying the relationship).

He makes you wait

A man demonstrates lack of seriousness if he is constantly late for a meeting with you. This is a sure sign that a person does not care about his partner’s experiences and does what he wants.

Of course, there are people who are late everywhere and always. But with such absent-minded individuals, life will not be the most comfortable. If you want to constantly wait for a meeting, you can continue to do so as long as you can stand it. The main thing is to understand why this is being done.

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Lack of emotional connection

When we listen to stories about happy relationships, partners often say that they feel each other even at a distance, as if maintaining an invisible connection. Halves look at certain things the same way, they are interested in communicating, so time flies by during conversations, no matter how many years the partners have been together.

If a man has nothing to talk to you about, he, of course, can look respectable and mysterious in constant silence. But are you ready to endure this silence for many years?

It is important to understand that if a man is silent in front of you, it means he is opening his soul elsewhere. One of the signs of this will be his correspondence on dating sites.

“You just have to learn to wait”

A woman must understand that if, in anticipation of a miracle, she spends time on someone else’s, albeit attractive, partner, she can voluntarily refuse to meet her man. Everyone definitely has it, the main thing is not to underestimate your own self-esteem and learn to wait.

There are so many examples when, after many years of living with the wrong people, former classmates or childhood friends create families. But each of them had to go through many life trials in order to understand who he really needed. The main thing is not to give a place in your heart to someone who does not appreciate it. And then “love will unexpectedly appear when you least expect it.”

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Makes no effort

Analyzing the relationships of familiar people or life stories, we can conclude that a woman is trying to create comfort and order, but a man, as a rule, is not interested in this. If a hunter or warrior lives in him, then the partner’s willingness to submit to him in everything only irritates him. Then everything is wrong, there is no point in hunting or fighting.

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Therefore, men are often crazy about scandalous ladies who demand to conquer heights for their sake. Here it is very useful to recall the lines of Alexander Pushkin: “The less we love a woman, the easier it is for her to like us.” They concern the connection between people who are not other halves.

If a woman herself initiates meetings, is ready to come to a man’s home and do everything he asks, then the relationship is unlikely to be built on mutual respect, no matter how much the partner might want it.