Human feelings and emotions: where they come from, how to evaluate them and apply them in life

Psychologists often emphasize that the main condition for success in society is a developed sense of empathy. It is closely related to emotional awareness. Without one there cannot be the other.

If you want to understand others and create harmonious relationships, then you first need to understand yourself. To do this, you need to look at emotions objectively and find out where they come from.

Such different emotions on what is happening.

Where do feelings come from?

It is believed that primitive man was capable of showing emotions. The appearance of feelings in animals and our ancestors is associated with the need to explore the world for the sake of survival.

Initially, the ability to feel any emotions was only part of the self-preservation mechanism. For example, a person experienced fear of strong animals, natural phenomena, deep water, etc.

He was able to analyze and understand that berries and fruits are good because they provide food, i.e. survival. This brought joy.

Subsequently, man as a species developed intellectually. New systems have emerged, primarily social ones. The reactions became more complex, and communities began to be built around them. Primitive people could attack each other in the heat of a quarrel or out of fear.

Now emotions play an important role in our lives. Hidden negative feelings that have not been dealt with can haunt you throughout your life and interfere with creating a family and constructive communication. Conversely, those who have good control over their emotions understand others better and act more productively.

To learn how to manage your feelings, you need to understand where they come from and why they appear. There are several theories, but as a result, all researchers come to a common conclusion: emotions are a response to any events or circumstances.

The first source of emotions

We begin to experience and express feelings for the first time in childhood, according to some scientists, in the womb. A child may kick if something bothers him. He cries when he's hungry and screams when he's scared. In this case, the source of the emotional reaction is an unsatisfied need of the body.

With age, the individual learns to muffle such sensations. He no longer cries or screams when he wants to eat, and calmly endures hunger.

However, if you abuse your patience too often, consequences in the form of mental disorders will inevitably arise. For example, a lack of a sense of security leads to stress, poor sleep, distorted perception of the situation, etc.

Second source of emotions

At the same time, from the moment of birth or, according to some sources, the formation of a child in the womb, socialization begins. This term refers to the process of adaptation of an individual to the world around him.

Since Homo sapiens is a social species, the child must adapt to society as quickly as possible. Otherwise, he will become a hermit and an outcast, which will leave an imprint on his entire adult life.

Socialization is the second source of emotions. The feelings associated with it are more complex. Unlike need-driven emotions, they intensify with age rather than diminish.

At first, the child does not recognize the faces and voices of those around him well, but he already learns to recognize those close to him. By 3-4 months, children smile at the sight of their parents, and may become wary if someone unfamiliar approaches them. The child is happy when he is given new toys, and is upset if they break.

Emotions associated with socialization remain strong throughout life. Adults swear and conflict if they encounter an opposing opinion or feel that their rights are being infringed upon.

Rejection on the part of the object of sympathy causes frustration, public disgrace causes shame. Only in old age does the expression of “social” emotions fade away, since the individual involuntarily separates from society. He prefers to spend time alone or with his family.

Emotions associated with society are of great importance at certain times.

Third Source of Emotions

By the first year of life, the child begins to understand that he is an individual. He feels his mother’s hands and realizes that it is another person, not him. This process is called individualization. At this level, the child’s character, his habits, characteristics, skills, natural inclinations, etc. are of great importance.

When the realization comes that all people are different, introspection begins. Normally, an individual compares himself with others and emphasizes his strengths and weaknesses. If at this stage any imbalances arise, the individual focuses on one thing.

For example, narcissists are good at seeing their own strengths and the weaknesses of others. As a result, it is difficult for them to find harmony with themselves and with the world around them. Melancholic people, on the contrary, notice their own shortcomings and exaggerate the merits of others.

Because of this, they become insecure, interfere with their own self-development, avoid interesting people and try to stay away from social events. Thus, we can identify a third source of emotions - attitude towards oneself.

Interaction of emotions at different levels

Emotions at different levels can interact with each other and influence each other. For example, a person with adequate self-esteem socializes well.

He shapes his own environment, avoids interlocutors who are unpleasant to him in advance, and, if necessary, adapts to others. Most often, he is happier in his marriage because he chooses partners better, does not become codependent, and works on the relationship.

Another special case is the interaction of emotions at the level of needs and socialization. If in childhood a child has to cry for a long time in order to beg for food, then in the future he builds relationships with others based on this experience.

He either learns to be pushy or simply sees unkindness and even threat in others. This can affect the attitude towards oneself: the individual plays the role of a victim and views himself from the same position.

Wheel of emotion by Robert Plutchik.

Psychology of emotions in the Concept of L.S. Vygotsky

L.S. Vygotsky did not leave a complete doctrine of emotions. At the same time, in a number of his works one can find quite detailed arguments on this problem. Taken together, they present a fairly complete picture of Vygotsky’s ideas about the nature and mechanisms of development of human emotions. Philosophically, these ideas are based on the ideas of Spinoza and, in particular, on his principle of the unity of affect and intellect. Vygotsky's predecessor in the development of this principle in psychological science is Kurt Lewin. The main points of Vygotsky's approach to the problem of emotions are as follows.

1. emotions develop. Based on this, each emotion should be classified only from the point of view of its development.

2. there is a connection between affect and intelligence. Each stage in the development of thought corresponds to a stage in the development of affect. The development of thoughts and feelings comes from one root, the infant's affective action. Further development of affect continues: 1) along the path of differentiation of the emotional sphere of consciousness with subsequent differentiation within this sphere itself; 2) in the direction of changing the nature of dynamic processes. Both are directly related to the development of thought.

Thus, if in early childhood the child’s behavior can be characterized as a “field”, and consciousness is characterized by a single affective perception and action, then the main symptom of the crisis of the 3rd year is a violation of the unity of affect and action. The child does not act directly under the influence of passion, but acts contrary to his inclination. As the child’s visually actual thinking gives way to figurative thinking, the affective side of consciousness also develops. This is reflected, first of all, in the generalization of internal processes, which is one of the significant aspects of changes in preschool age. During this period, a generalization of feelings occurs: An affective formation arises that connects a single affect as a concept with a single perception. Finally, during adolescence, the formation of thinking in terms of concepts leads to deeper knowledge and ordering of one's world of experience.

Another aspect of changes in the affective sphere of a person is related to the fact that each stage of the development of thought corresponds to a certain nature of dynamic processes. Vygotsky notes that concrete thought corresponds to more skeletal and rigid dynamics, while abstract thought and imagination correspond to smoother and more flexible dynamics. In this regard, the qualitative specificity of higher or subtle emotions becomes obvious. The differentiation of emotions and their softer course are a direct consequence of the development of thought.

3 In addition to the influence of thought on affect, there is also a reverse influence of affect on thought. This is especially obvious: 1) each idea contains, in a revised form, a person’s affective attitude towards the reality represented in this idea; 2) thinking itself comes from the motivational sphere of our consciousness. According to Vygotsky, the relationship of thought to word is a living process, “movement through a whole series of internal planes.”

4. in pathology (for example, schizophrenia), the damage to the intellectual or emotional aspects of consciousness as such is usually less than the pathological change in their correlation.

Vygotsky advocates the principle of active participation of emotions in the overall development of consciousness. It affects not only the development of the child’s thinking and behavior, but is also a powerful incentive that encourages the child to seek “developmental deviations” in the presence of a birth defect.

6. activity plays an important role in the development of a person’s emotional sphere. Activity can influence indirectly (activity mainly develops thinking, which, in turn, causes changes in the affective sphere) and directly, as happens, for example, in a child’s play activity.

7. The development of the affective sphere follows the same logic as the development of other mental functions. The development of emotions goes in the direction of consciousness.

8. Every emotion is a function of personality.

Ideas L.S. Vygotsky’s ideas about the nature of emotions and their development form an integral part of his concrete psychological theory of consciousness.

Simple and complex emotions

Emotions can be classified. K. Izard dealt with this in detail. He divided the most common feelings into fundamental and complex.

Among the first Izard included:

• interest;
• joy;
• astonishment;
• suffering;
• anger;
• disgust;
• contempt;
• fear;
• shame;
• guilt;
• embarrassment.

From the entire list, only 3 feelings can be called positive: surprise, joy and interest. The remaining emotions are negative, but necessary for gaining experience. They reflect an individual's reaction to encountering new events, people and circumstances and help shape a worldview.

Complex feelings are formed from simple ones. For example, according to K. Izard’s classification, aggression is a mixture of anger and interest. If the individual is neutral towards the object, it will not cause a negative reaction in him.

Love is a mixture of joy and trust. Disappointment is a combination of surprise and sadness. The person is disappointed because he suddenly learned something unexpected and it upset him.

Classification of fundamental emotions by K. Izard.

Dominant rule

If 2 or more feelings are mixed, the dominant rule comes into play: weak emotions reinforce strong ones. For example, if you are worried about mild sadness and surprise, the latter may turn into amazement. In contrast, with excitement preceding surprise and intense sadness, a person may begin to experience grief.

A sharp sound will frighten a child lying in a crib, but will only cause an increase in the sucking reflex if the baby is eating. To overcome the appetite, the noise must be much louder.

The rule of dominance should always be taken into account in social interactions, since it has a great influence on people’s condition. If someone tries to calm down an irritated person or do something nice for him, this can completely set him off. In a state of disappointment, it is difficult to become interested in anything or to be happy about anything.

How are feelings different from emotions?

Sensations are our experiences that we experience through our senses, and we have five of them.
Sensations are visual, auditory, tactile, taste and smell (our sense of smell). With sensations everything is simple: stimulus - receptor - sensation. Our consciousness interferes with emotions and feelings - our thoughts, attitudes, our thinking. Emotions are influenced by our thoughts. And vice versa - emotions influence our thoughts. We’ll definitely talk about these relationships in more detail a little later. But now let’s remember once again one of the criteria for psychological health, namely point 10: we are responsible for our feelings, it depends on us what they will be. It is important.

Expressing feelings

During the day, a person experiences many different levels of emotions. For this reason, he does not track weak ones, often ignores them and does not show them in any way. However, when experiencing deep feelings, facial muscles, the hormonal system, etc. are involved.

A person in love, when he sees the object of his sympathy, begins to blush due to active blood circulation. The latter is enhanced due to the release of hormones by the adrenal glands. The muscles involuntarily tense. With strong feelings, a person may alternately turn pale, straighten his shoulders, or, on the contrary, bend.

There is one danger in such reactions. With visual displays of emotion, the only thing that can be said is that the feeling is strong. It is impossible to judge his character without knowing the person himself.

The set of reactions and shades of feelings is individual for everyone. To learn how to identify emotions well, you need to understand the person you are in front of.

To study someone, you need to observe them for a long time. It is necessary to analyze a person’s emotions, note his reactions to the simplest stimuli. The more often you show empathy, the faster you will begin to understand your interlocutor.

However, even in a long-term relationship, there will be blind spots: areas where you either don't understand or misinterpret reactions. For this reason, one can never say with certainty that a person feels any emotions. This is especially true for people you barely know.

Surprisingly, sometimes such ignorance extends to ourselves. People get used to automatically judging their emotions without subjecting them to introspection.

They confuse overexcitement with anger, love with affection, displeasure with fear, etc. Because of this, problems arise because a person struggles with one emotion while another is gaining strength.

Before you deal with love feelings, you need to figure out whether you are experiencing them. A completely healthy psychologically person rarely confuses love with attachment or dependence. In the presence of even minor deviations that do not threaten life and socialization, there is a tendency to become confused and enter into unhealthy relationships.

Emotional expression of feelings.

How to tell if you love someone

It is believed that love is evidenced by:

1. Care. This is the main sign. The partner is attentive to the needs of the other person, wants to protect him and improve the quality of life.
2. Freedom. A loving person will never forcefully keep another close to him, depriving him of something. The simplest example is meeting with friends.
3. Mindfulness. The partner understands what he is ready to do for the sake of his beloved, and what he cannot do. For this reason, he does not make unrealistic promises and always keeps his word.
4. Proximity. Partners become closer on all levels: emotionally, spiritually, intellectually and physically. They adapt to each other's habits, unwittingly sharing tastes and interests.
5. Respect. The partner may not agree with his chosen one, but he will always listen, understand and accept his point of view.
6. Confidence. A person does not make accusations against his partner for any reason. Without trust, love is impossible, because even small and groundless suspicions accumulate and poison feelings.
7. Unselfishness. The partner tries for his beloved without the desire to derive any benefit. He doesn’t count who has invested how much in the relationship.
8. Responsibility. A person takes on obligations associated with a partner. Sometimes this forces him to give up some of his wishes and opportunities.
9. Development. Love acts as motivation. The partner wants to develop in such a relationship, not give up his position, and be the best for the chosen one. At the same time, this makes it possible to further improve the quality of life.
10. Changes. Loving partners are not afraid to change anything out of context. They may, for example, suddenly decide to move. The worries will be more related to the move itself, and not how it will affect the relationship.

Using this list you can check not only yourself, but also others. For example, if in some situation your partner chose personal gain rather than a relationship with you, it is better to break up with him.

Additionally, to analyze your feelings, you can ask yourself what you like about your partner, what qualities he has, and whether you accept all of his character traits.

The chances that you are experiencing love are higher if you initially had a friendly relationship with your chosen one. It is especially important to understand whether you feel envy and jealousy towards your partner. These feelings shouldn't exist.

Emotions should not be fickle. Ask yourself how love affects you. Feelings should reveal you as a person, not destroy you.

How do you know if this is love?

How many feelings does a person have?

Surely, you have often wondered what exactly you feel. Did you know that in reality the types of feelings are not limited in number? And also the fact that each individual person has his own range of feelings and emotions. It is important here to separate our physiological and psychological feelings.

There are a lot of feelings of an emotional and psychological nature - it is impossible to count them with accuracy. And with physiological ones everything is more specific. At the moment, there are 9 main and basic physiological senses of a person:

1. Vision is a sensory organ that is responsible for perceiving the world around us;
2. Touch - analysis of reality through tactile sensations;
3. Smell - the perception of odors, which allow us to make an analysis in relation to a certain object of the material world;
4. Hearing – receiving information through the perception of sound;
5. Taste is the work of human taste buds;
6. Equibrioception – a person’s ability to maintain balance;
7. Thermoception is the ability of the human body to perceive temperature;
8. Nociception is the feeling of pain arising from specific stimuli;
9. Proprioception is the ability of each individual to sense himself in a specific space.

There are a large number of human social feelings

Strength of feelings

The strength of feelings distinguishes a person living a vibrant life from the gray crowd around him. It’s much easier to impress a melancholic homebody than someone who prefers risky hobbies.

If a person constantly lies in bed and does nothing, even minor events will cause a great response in him. In a busy life, the same circumstances may not provoke any emotions.

The strength of feelings is determined by the height of the barriers that a person overcomes. To be convinced, it is enough to consider a simple example: hunger. When a person, even with slight discomfort, immediately goes to have a snack, the food does not cause any emotional reaction in him. He doesn't attach any importance to this event.

If before this a person was on a long hike or returned home after a long work shift, he will receive great pleasure even from a simple dish.

The difference is due to discomfort. Positive emotions arise from sharp contrasts. This also works with long wait: if a person works on something for a long time, he will be happy when he gets the result. However, there is a danger here. If the effort expended does not match the result, dissatisfaction and even frustration will arise.

The main skill of happy people is the ability to set adequate goals for themselves. They must be large enough and difficult enough to create contrast. However, you should not overexert yourself or put in a lot of effort with minimal results. The difficulty must match the reward.

For this reason, you cannot immediately move on to intimacy if you want to build a long-term relationship. Sex is the result of action. If there has been no action yet, the person will not perceive what happened as a new height. The strength of his feelings will not increase. On the contrary, it will consolidate at a low level.

A more profitable tactic in this case would be flirting, inciting passion and at the same time restraining it. The greatest response will be caused by moving to the next level at the peak of feelings.

It is important not to overdo it, because a long absence of relationship development causes fading of emotions and boredom. Given the existing frustration, it will be impossible to stop this process.

Light flirting can develop into a great fire of passion.

Anxiety

Emotion reflects two components: the degree of understanding of the essence of the subject and personal attitude towards it. For example, there are such animals - frogs - this is our objective knowledge. At the same time, we like them or don’t like them, depending on our experience of communicating with individual representatives. The relationship between these two components of emotions allows a person to predict events. People who have had bad experiences with frogs will expect bad things from them.

The ability to predict based on an understanding of objective reality and a subjective attitude towards it is transferred throughout life and into its individual spheres. If a person is used to thinking positively, his forecasts are favorable. If he feels that actions are moving closer to predicted events, then the good mood is maintained and contributes to other achievements.

But there are times when a person cannot or does not know how to make a forecast, feels himself in a situation of uncertainty, and an emotional reaction of anxiety arises. Anxiety can mobilize the psyche to seek clarity, or it can cause complete confusion and inaction.

The difference between fear and anxiety is the presence of an object. When a person is afraid, there is always something that causes a feeling of danger. And anxiety is always subjective, its source is hidden within a person. If the feeling of fear is commensurate with the size of the danger, then the feeling of anxiety is not limited by anything. The reason is unknown to the person, so anxiety can increase to cosmic proportions and completely paralyze him.

Anxiety accompanies people who are unsure of their future. Anyone who does not think about goals is always susceptible to anxiety. It is important to understand that there is no other support for a person other than the purpose of life. A person lives only when he moves. The presence of money, resources, and acquaintances does not relieve anxiety if he was unable to give his life meaning. Determination is the best medicine for getting rid of anxiety.

When a person acts, he may also experience a feeling of anxiety, but it will precisely perform a mobilizing function. Mild anxiety, which manifests itself in worry about the outcome of a task, helps to concentrate attention and complete the task without errors or failures.

Sublimity of feelings

The second property of feelings is sublimity. It is determined by the rhythm of the brain centers and their coordination. The closer the body is to a state of harmony, the more sublime the feelings.

In practice, this is associated with contrasts and a complete list of experienced sensations. Physical feelings are most often base. They are associated with discomfort.

For example, a person experiences pleasure from eating food if he has recently been hungry, but at the same time he has a feeling of heaviness in his stomach.

Being able to relieve the itching brings relief, but it is mixed with discomfort. Prolonged abstinence from satisfying the need increases both discomfort and pleasure during the satisfaction of the need.

An example of sublime emotions is the feelings that a person experiences when listening to music. At this moment, no accompanying negativity arises, so all brain centers work in the same rhythm, in harmony. A person experiences complete pleasure, not spoiled by any negativity.

The basis of happiness is sublime feelings. First of all, they affect social relationships with loved ones. To understand whether you love a person, it is enough to analyze the situation and figure out whether anything makes you angry or irritated.

If, for example, you subconsciously blame your partner for something and are angry with him, it is better to immediately leave the relationship. You will not be able to restore what is already broken.

Broken relationships cannot be restored.

List of the most common human feelings

But what feelings do you and I experience almost every day? What processes in our consciousness are constant and most widespread? Let's look at the most popular of them.

Love

The feeling of love is the most common and characteristic of humans. It is characteristic of people from the moment of birth. The first such feeling and attachment arises towards parents, that is, a small child realizes closeness to his parents and relatives. It is also characteristic of us throughout our lives - love for animals, love for nature, friendly love, love for a partner. Therefore, it is multifaceted and integral to any personality.

Guilt

This already characterizes the negative manifestations of the sensual side of the individual. Feeling guilty is a normal phenomenon, the main thing is that it does not develop into psychological trauma, a problem that affects the process of socialization in society.

Feeling of fear

Throughout our lives we encounter various phenomena and people. For some we develop a strong and positive attachment. For others – fear, reluctance to communicate. This feeling arises on the basis of various factors, both social and psychological, and behavioral. For example, fear may arise based on life experience, or because a particular person behaves deviantly towards you.

Delight and joy

These are positive manifestations of our personality. When we are in good company, among friends and loved ones, we laugh, rejoice at what is happening and try to enjoy the pastime.

Confidence

It is this feeling that is the basis for the emergence of strong interpersonal connections - friendship, love, cooperation at work. Trust allows you to say that you can rely on another person. It is important that such a feeling is very easily destroyed, that is, a “loss of trust” occurs.

Each person has their own range of feelings and emotions that arise most often

What to do if you can't create long-term strong relationships

First of all, you need to consider the situation with an open mind. Most often, people who fail to create healthy relationships blame their partners.

They think that they just keep getting the wrong ones. In reality, responsibility for choice and further actions lies with the person himself. If he builds relationships with the wrong people, then the problem lies within himself.

An example of a strong negative factor influencing perception and behavior is low self-esteem. An individual may consider himself unworthy and not act as an initiator.

As a result, a dual situation arises. A person with low self-esteem does not express himself in any way, that is, he does not advertise or present to others. At the same time, he does not try to lure anyone into a relationship. This can lead to long periods of loneliness.

Even if a partner is found in such a situation, a person with low self-esteem begins to poison the relationship. He thinks that they cannot love him, constantly pesters his beloved with interrogations, suspects him of something, etc. At the same time, the person does not initiate separation, because he is afraid of loneliness. The situation gets worse if the “accidental” partner turns out to be a tyrant.

There are many factors that interfere with building healthy relationships. These are insecurity, a tendency to overprotectiveness, the habit of going with the flow, and even childhood trauma.

Most often, those who did not see a healthy relationship between parents in childhood fail to create a strong family. You can figure out the problem on your own through long self-analysis, but it’s better to consult a psychologist.

It will help you get rid of the interfering part of the program and reconfigure you to a new way of life. Creating a family in this case will not be the only pleasant consequence.

Increase your level of self-esteem.