How to overcome fear? 20 practical tips from a psychologist


Illustrative photo: Pixabay.com A person who doesn't worry about the future and never doubts himself is alarming. This is because fears and anxiety are an integral part of people’s lives. Psychologists Mikhail Labkovsky and Svetlana Troshina talk about what to do when they do not mobilize, but paralyze and interfere with action.

Acknowledge your worries and fears

To understand the issue of overcoming excessive anxiety, let's start with its definition. What is anxiety? This is an emotional state that arises from the anticipation of danger or threat.

What is fear? Popular psychologist and writer Mikhail Labkovsky explains that fear is a basic human emotion associated with the instinct of self-preservation, which appears in moments of danger.

Thus, the concepts of “fear” and “anxiety” are not synonymous, but are often used interchangeably when it comes to increased anxiety. This condition occurs for various reasons, and to overcome it, you need to find out what fears are causing it:

  • Take a piece of paper and write down everything that comes to mind as a continuation of the phrase “It would be terrible if...”.
  • Based on the list received, make a list of fears. For example, the phrase “It would be terrible if I got fired” means the fear of losing my job.

For each item, write down a detailed action plan in case it is implemented. This will help you gain control over the situation and calm down.

Make a clear action plan

Let's say you're worried that you'll fail an important project at work. What can you do to deliver the task on time? For example, don’t get caught up in a TV series and don’t put everything off until later, but figure out how much time you really need and start doing important things right now.

Now imagine the worst-case scenario: something went wrong, and you still failed the project. What will happen next? You may be deprived of your bonus or fired. Do you have a resume ready and enough money to last until you find a new job? If not, it’s time to collect at least a minimal airbag - it’s not a fact that it will be useful, but it will be calmer.

The habit of analyzing negative scenarios helps to bring fear under control. Even if everything doesn’t go according to plan, you have a ready-made algorithm for solving the problem. Most likely, you will never need it, but it will inspire confidence in your abilities.

Voice or register alarms

How to get rid of anxiety? Gestalt therapist Nifont Dolgopolov recommends the following:

  1. List all disturbing thoughts verbally or in writing as soon as they arise.
  2. Then think about what led to this situation.
  3. Name the strongest emotion associated with fear and express it as clearly as possible using your voice, gestures, and body movements.

This exercise is best done in a secluded place. The bottom line is that anxiety is often caused by unexpressed feelings and unfulfilled actions. Once you express them, calm down.


Fears and Anxieties: Gettyimages

Switch to physical activity

Long periods of sitting still at your desk can cause significant stress. It is important to periodically switch from one type of activity to another - to move from mental stress to physical activity.

When you exercise, more oxygen reaches your brain, which helps it recover. With mental stress, the muscular system is restored.

Alternating work processes with light physical activity improves metabolic processes in the body, accelerates the rehabilitation of the nervous system, and helps strengthen it.

Get enough sleep

The quality and quantity of sleep has a significant impact on a person’s psychological state. With a constant lack of sleep, negative emotions appear more often, distrust of others, aggression and anxiety grow. To avoid this:

  1. Choose a comfortable sleep mode and its amount (minimum 7 hours).
  2. Try to go to sleep and wake up at about the same time every day.
  3. At least an hour before bedtime, do not use your phone or other gadgets.
  4. Create wake-up rituals (a pleasant alarm melody, exercise, a delicious breakfast).

Cultivate positive emotions

According to one of the pioneers of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, increasing pleasant emotions helps to cope with anxiety. To do this, learn to savor pleasure:

  1. Slow down the pace of work.
  2. Resist the urge to get distracted by vain activities, such as surfing the Internet.
  3. Take time to feel the satisfaction of your accomplishments.
  4. Stop wanting more all the time.
  5. Devote more time to things that captivate you and fill your life with meaning.

The more positive emotions you experience, the less room there is for anxious thoughts and debilitating fears.

How to overcome fear - recommendations from psychologists at our clinic

It is worth noting that when various kinds of fears arise that are episodic in nature and do not “enslave” a person’s will, it is possible to try to cope with them on your own. Knowing how to overcome fear, it is quite possible to overcome it.

  • Get together and do it. No matter how difficult life situations are, act without paying attention to the approaching fear. Anything you haven't done before or anything new can create uncertainty and fear. How you feel fear, weak or strong, is influenced by the strength of belief, which must be changed by action. Only by doing something will you drive away fear, but procrastination increases it. Accept that you are scared, accept the fear, but do it as you intended. Remember, long thoughts will not answer how to overcome fear; you just have to act! Believe in luck.
  • What could be worse when it couldn't be worse? When you need to do something, but it’s scary, imagine the most negative turn of possible events. Believe me, this is much better than the unknown, which is called “the most devastating weapon of fear.” Only by understanding and finding the source of fear can you see that it is not scary. But fear is also a defensive reaction. Therefore, if, after calculating all the consequences of the most undesirable option in which events will develop, fear remains, then it is worth thinking about the need for these actions. Assess your own fear - if it is not groundless, then hear it by making the right decision.
  • The decision has been made - carry it out. Get serious about doing something, giving yourself the determination not to deviate from what you have planned - there will be no fear, it will go away. Fear feeds on our doubts and insecurities. He “whispers” to the mind that everything will be bad, negative. When considering your actions and making a decision, always hope for a good ending. Do not allow negative thoughts, drive them away. Remember? The eyes are scared, but the hands continue to act. Without a doubt, make a decision by telling yourself that there is no turning back. Be decisive, and the task of how to overcome fear will no longer be unanswerable.
  • Analysis of fear. Don’t ask the question of how to overcome fear, but analyze it. Fear refers to emotions that are stronger than logic. Even understanding the meaninglessness of fear, you can continue to be afraid. “Scroll” the entire course of events in your mind, overcome this feeling in your imagination, this technique will help you cope with it in reality - the model of events is fixed on the subconscious level. A technique based on self-hypnosis - visualization - is very effective.
  • We train courage. Identify your own “core” fear. Then break it down into smaller fears that you can begin to overcome. Does not work? Again, break down any fear you have into small ones. Then, step by step, overcome them. Heroes know how to overcome fear. Be brave and you can become that hero.
  • Increasing your own self-esteem is a good answer to the question of how to overcome fear. Think only well of yourself, even if your own self-esteem is overestimated. It has been noticed that people with high self-esteem, although somewhat biased, achieve more than those who evaluate themselves adequately.
  • Belief in a higher power and a guarding angel. Fear goes away if you have faith that someone, very strong, cares and protects you.
  • Feeling of love. There is no fear that love cannot overcome.
  • Always smile. Only positive emotions can overcome fear, and negative ones make it stronger.

Knowing how to overcome fear will give you the strength to cope with it. But remember that a phobia requires the mandatory help of a psychotherapist. She is cunning and not to be trifled with.

Strengthen your self-confidence

How to stop being afraid of everything? Cognitive psychologist Albert Bandura argues that you can protect yourself from anxiety by making sure you are competent and able to cope with difficulties.

Draw confidence from your own experience: remember your successes and the pleasures associated with them, keep a success diary and re-read it regularly. Think about people you admire and whose success motivates you.

Rationalization, observation

Overcoming the fear of death, fire, water, lack of money, etc. must begin with the process of rationalization. It is worth looking at the situation correctly. Of course, every person is afraid of dying. This is facilitated by our survival instinct. Such fear is understandable. But being afraid of dying every time you go out is illogical. In such cases, you need to remember the likelihood with which such an event can occur. If there is no war outside the window, no stones fall from the sky, the probability of dying is small. Especially if a person looks around and avoids obviously dangerous situations (for example, crossing the road at a red light).

You should definitely look at your fears rationally. This allows you to gain control over them.

Overcoming the fear of speaking should begin by observing other people. Don't think that you are alone in your feelings. A huge number of people are afraid of this. The difference can only be in the degree of intensity of the atypical emotion. However, all people are nervous before going on stage. Especially if you need to perform alone, without a group. Watching how other people deal with similar unpleasant feelings can help you overcome your own fear.

Meditate


Meditation techniques: Freepick
Yoga, meditation, breathing exercises are great for calming the mind, relaxing and relieving anxiety. By meditating for at least 10 minutes every day, create an inner space, a kind of “fortress” that will allow you to step back from the situation, calm down and develop a reaction to certain events.

How to get rid of constant anxiety? Do the following:

  1. Choose a meditation that you like (body awareness, sound, emotions).
  2. Choose a time to practice and do it regularly.

Panic attack: how to deal with it yourself

If you feel an attack coming , breathe into a paper bag.

  • Take a paper or plastic bag and breathe into it. You will inhale back the air you exhale, a large amount of carbon dioxide will enter your blood, which will help restore the balance between oxygen and carbon dioxide necessary for relaxation.
  • If you don’t have a bag at hand, you can breathe through the sleeve of a jacket or pullover. It would be enough.

If you are hyperventilating , do the following.

  • As soon as you feel rapid breathing, sit down, lean against something, exhale, hold your breath and count to five. After counting to five, say calmly: “Relax!” Inhale through your nose for three seconds, then exhale for the same amount. With each exhalation, say: “Completely calm!”
  • After ten breaths, hold your breath again and then repeat the exercise.
  • Continue, maintaining the rhythm, until breathing is restored.

Practice in a calm state, and then it will be easier for you to use this exercise during a panic attack.

Learn self-regulation

How to get rid of increased anxiety? Psychologist and social educator Svetlana Troshina advises using such effective methods of self-regulation as:

  • switching (“It will be tomorrow, but today I won’t think about it and read this book”);
  • distraction (detachment from disturbing factors using willpower);
  • reduction in significance (“This is just a report on the work done, the same as there have been many already”);
  • thinking about an alternative plan in case of failure;
  • making additional inquiries (if you need to find an unfamiliar address, find it on the map, look at the street visualization);
  • temporarily deferring a goal to include new milestones (for example, take a skill development course to implement a new project).

Working with fears and anxiety never stops, since these feelings are natural for humans. It is important that they only occur in situations of real danger. That is why you should free yourself from excessive anxiety and enjoy life.

Original article: https://www.nur.kz/family/self-realization/1734404-kak-izbavitsa-ot-straha-i-nacat-zit/

Mandala coloring

This method is widely used in resolving many conflict situations. Instead of sorting things out or focusing on the source of fear, you can spend your time productively. This is a kind of meditation that needs to be done regularly. Coloring a mandala not only prevents the accumulation of stress, but also helps to free yourself from everyday unpleasant experiences. You can devote a lot of time to this activity, even several hours. If you can, spend at least 20-30 minutes a day. This will be quite enough to free yourself from disturbing experiences. Coloring a mandala can be turned into an everyday ritual that will help relax the emotional sphere. In modern reality, such relaxation therapy cannot be superfluous. By coloring mandalas, there is a high chance that you will begin to realize the reasons for your daily actions and actions.

Read about conflicting relationships.

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