In this article we will tell you:
- A woman's contribution to her husband's loss of respect for her
- If the reason is in the husband
- Shows of disrespect
- How to make the right decision
- How can a woman regain her self-respect?
- When does it make sense to fight for a relationship?
- 5 practical tips from psychologists
Sometimes in family life women face disrespect from their spouse. The reasons for this are different. And how to make a husband respect his wife and be afraid of losing her? We'll talk about this in the article.
Every couple wants to maintain a relationship for as long as possible, preferably for life. A man and a woman usually start a family in a state of love, when everything seems rosy.
But over time, family life reveals different facets of the personality of both spouses, including not the best ones. Psychological science helps prevent discord and experience difficulties in relationships.
A woman's contribution to her husband's loss of respect for her
The reasons why a husband stopped treating a woman with tenderness are varied. Conventionally, they can be divided into
Ungroomed wife
Everyone knows that women love with their ears. But often the weaker sex forgets that men also need to nourish their love feelings, and the appearance of the other half plays an important role in this. Before the wedding, girls carefully look after themselves, trying not to lose their boyfriend, and after marriage a metamorphosis occurs.
Of course, in family life a couple faces many worries - small children, work, financial difficulties. But even if you don’t have the opportunity or desire to visit expensive salons, you can always find time to wash and style your hair and put on clean, neat clothes. After a difficult day at work, a man still deserves to see not an aunt in a dirty robe, but a beloved woman who cares about her appearance.
Communication style
This point is similar to the previous one, only we will talk not about external, but about internal filling. If for a long time a man has heard nothing but discontent and “sawing” at home, over time his wife’s speech will cause him nothing but irritation.
No matter how much he loves his wife, he will not be able to resist negative feelings. As in the famous proverb: “A drop wears away a stone.” He will either remain silent or answer questions sharply.
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But in your desire to please with words, you shouldn’t go too far. Of course, you should always try to smile when you meet and greet your husband affectionately. But in case of fatigue or illness, it is important to be able to show your condition and express your desires.
If you couldn’t restrain yourself, for example, because of problems at work, words of apology will come in very handy.
Problems in intimate life
For men, sex is a very important part of life. Quite often, women, knowing this, try to manipulate their husbands through intimacy. They either have a “headache” or simply have no desire.
We must remember that such behavior is akin to walking on the edge of an abyss. Of course, it is important to defend your point of view and not forget about your desires, but not with the help of the weak points of a loved one.
Hostility on the part of the husband can also arise if the wife does not want to lead a rich intimate life. Sex as a scheduled duty quickly kills any desire for this particular person, which in the future can lead to a search for pleasure on the side.
Lack of self-development
Even if a woman is in order with all of the above points, the risk of losing respect from her husband remains. It is associated with what is called self-development, or rather with its absence.
Women who, due to circumstances or by choice, stay at home are more susceptible to this condition. They may get carried away by monotonous TV series, stupid talk shows and similar activities, which is why they lose topics of conversation.
But in many ways this development of events is determined by the internal state. A working woman will justify her reluctance to learn new things by being tired, and her interests may very soon narrow. If she has abandoned common hobbies with her husband and has not found new ones, he may lose interest in his wife.
Water spell
The easiest way is to create a conspiracy so that the spouse obeys the water. Early in the morning, the wife needs to get up, drink a glass of water herself, and then prepare the charmed water for her loved one. On a glass of water you need to very confidently read the following magical text:
“My husband, do you hear my divine conspiracy. I want to make you obedient for myself, for this I turn my love into this water. If you want to contradict everyone around you, listen to me, you were mine and become mine for the soul. I need your obedience for harmony, not for evil. Just as the water in a glass is clean, not cloudy, as it stands calmly, so may my dear one listen to me with love. As has been said, it will be so, but it cannot be any other way. Amen".
After this, the charmed water should be offered to your loved one as soon as he gets out of bed. It is important to make sure that he drinks this water to the bottom. When he drinks, it is good for his wife to say the following words to herself:
“I conjure you to love and obedience, beloved.”
Of course, a woman also needs to behave in a certain way so as not to provoke her sweetheart into an unnecessary argument. To do this, you need not to get emotionally involved in disputes, not to answer them, then your husband will simply stop being interested in arguing with you. But this does not mean that you need to swallow grievances, this is also wrong, you should not get involved in empty and meaningless disputes. It is possible that over time, your sweetheart will begin to spend the energy that he spent arguing on taking care of you.
If the reason is in the husband
Unfortunately, it happens that a wise wife has analyzed her behavior, corrected her shortcomings and is trying with all her might to maintain peace in the family, but the husband does not change his attitude. In this case, we need to talk about whether the cause of the discord is in the spouse himself. What points are we talking about?
Selfishness and infantilism of the husband
Psychology believes that selfish behavior is rooted in the lack of independence and immaturity of the individual’s psyche. Such a person is accustomed to having someone else make all the important decisions for him.
He lives only for his own pleasure, avoiding any unpleasant moments. Therefore, when his wife does not agree with his opinion and offers another solution to the problem, this greatly irritates him.
By and large, an egoist respects no one but himself. No matter how patient the other half is, it will not be easy for them to get along. Only strong love and acceptance will help smooth out the rough edges in such relationships.
Sometimes this gives results, and the infantile person finally begins to think about responsibility and not blame everyone around him for failures. He gains respect for his wife for tolerating his shortcomings. But whether his half’s feelings will disappear during this difficult time, the question remains open.
Financial dependence on a man
In our country, a common family model is where the man is the breadwinner and the woman takes care of the house. Many couples like this position. It allows a man to feel like the head, the master of this small world, where everything depends on his decision.
This situation relieves women of financial responsibility and the need to be torn between home and work.
It would seem, what could be the catch if the spouses are happy with everything? In fact, a woman in such a relationship, due to financial dependence on her husband, also becomes psychologically dependent.
Something happens in a man’s life - problems at work, he liked another woman, or his own wife simply began to irritate him - all this will affect his wife. Most often she has nowhere to go, especially with children; finding a good job without experience is also unlikely.
Aggression
This aspect of male behavior is worth special consideration, because a woman’s response to it should be quick and unambiguous.
If in the case of selfishness there is hope of finding a common language, especially if the husband himself is ready to improve, and financial dependence can be prevented from the beginning, then aggression cannot be changed on one’s own.
Often violence, including physical violence, is accompanied by alcohol abuse and drug addiction.
Many women mistakenly believe that if they are patient, the situation will improve. But the experience of psychologists, social services and law enforcement agencies shows that male aggressors do not find the strength to stop immoral behavior.
You should not expect either respect or fear of losing your spouse from such a partner - if it appears, it will be until the next outburst of anger.
Mental illness
Many mental illnesses manifest themselves quite early - in childhood or adolescence. But what if such a disease began when the person was already married?
In this case, is it worth looking for ways to make a husband respect his wife and be afraid of losing her?
Without a doubt, it is painful to realize that a loved one periodically turns into someone alien and often aggressive. I want to return everything, endure it and wait for a happy ending. Sometimes, in cases of indolent disease, this tactic works for a while.
But, for example, schizophrenia is dangerous because of its unpredictability and obsessions. Therefore, it is important to make the right decision in time and put the safety of yourself and your children, if any, first.
Shows of disrespect
Just recently, the husband was gentle and caring, but now a woman increasingly feels uncomfortable in communicating with him. Sometimes she cannot fully understand that her husband has ceased to respect her and, apart from irritation, feels nothing.
Let's list the clear signs that feelings have cooled.
- Constant reproaches and reproaches, expressions of dissatisfaction.
- There are few or no tender words in speech.
- A man can insult his wife with obscene and offensive language.
- The husband does not seek to hug or caress his wife.
- Conversations in such a family do not go well; they are short, to the point, or with irritation.
- A man is bored with his wife, he strives to spend more time outside the home, in the company of friends.
- Ridicule or lack of interest in the wife's hobbies, work and hobbies.
- Disrespect for a woman’s moral values, constant teasing on this basis.
- A man who does not respect his wife allows himself to humiliate her not only with words, but also with actions. Often this is expressed in the use of force to fulfill his whims.
- Depending on the character, the spouse either begins to completely control the woman, her communication, work, travel, or is absolutely indifferent to her and is not interested in her life.
How to make the right decision
Living in such an environment often becomes unbearable, and the woman thinks about how to change the situation. There are two ways out - either leave such a man, or try to regain his respect for yourself. Each option has its pros and cons, the main thing is to understand which is more.
In the case when a woman tries her best to save her family, endures her husband’s attacks, takes every action to bring love back into the relationship, but all in vain, it makes sense to think about divorce.
Marriage is not a game of one goal, it is a home that two people build. This especially applies to violent men with addictions and mental illnesses. But sometimes even an adequate man can become offended or change his life attitudes so much that it becomes impossible to return love.
But, fortunately, most men also want to build trusting and close relationships. Anything can happen in life: resentment, fatigue, problems. But even a frozen heart can be thawed again if you choose the right behavior. Let's talk about this now.
He doesn't listen to me
Quite often on the Internet there is a complaint: what should I do to make my husband listen to me? However, it is unlikely that a woman will want to see an over-aged child next to her, obeying her in everything, literally looking into her mouth. The problem is not as superficial as it seems at first glance, you need to dig deeper.
By nature, men are leaders and providers. They are disgusted by the role of a wingman, just as a woman will be uncomfortable in a relationship where she is forced to take all responsibility on her fragile shoulders, to be the captain of the ship. This is a reversal of roles, and it will not benefit any of the family members.
My husband has a lot of female friends: is there a reason for concern or friendship between a man and a woman still happens?
How can a woman regain her self-respect?
Before taking any action, it is important to understand what caused this situation. The result will then be achieved faster, and this will happen again later.
Women who are prone to introspection find it easier to understand themselves and understand whether she has provoked a man with her actions.
At the same time, knowing his weaknesses, the wife can develop certain behavioral tactics that will make the man afraid of losing his wife.
First
The first and basic rule is that no one will respect a woman if she does not respect herself. Now the husband is taking out his irritation on her, then it will be the children. You need to find your strengths and focus on them.
Perhaps it’s culinary skills, or maybe organizational skills. It is important to have your own “territory” that no one can enter without permission. A woman who is tired after work has the right to rest, and a woman working from home has the right to silence.
Second
When a woman learns to respect herself, it will be easier for her to teach her husband to do the same. Basic gratitude for a delicious dinner or cleanliness in the house should not be something extraordinary.
A man needs to realize that his wife performs her household duties voluntarily and can stop doing so at any time. For example, because I haven’t heard “thank you” addressed to me for a long time.
Third
Self-love also manifests itself in taking care of your body. This is why it is difficult to sympathize with sloppy women who, due to laziness, do not take care of their figure and appearance.
No matter how much a man loves his wife at the beginning of the relationship, it will become increasingly difficult for him to maintain strong feelings if she is not well-groomed.
The fight against excess weight, a beautiful hairstyle, a fresh look and suitable makeup, stylish clothes - you cannot do without this in search of self-respect.
Fourth
The inner world is no less important than the appearance. A woman may look like a model, but there is nothing to talk to her about. In addition to purely feminine hobbies, such as needlework, for example, it is not a bad idea to share hobbies with your husband.
Many women go with their husbands to sports matches or fishing, but traveling and skiing together will be an excellent bonding link. If active recreation is not interesting, most often you can still find a compromise and common topics, if you wish.
Try to spend more time with your spouse
All problems in family relationships begin the moment people in love stop hearing each other. Yes, they seem to talk in the evenings after work, but all this is nothing more than an exchange of a number of standard phrases on everyday topics. If this is the case, and dinners and evenings together have long disappeared from your marriage, bring them back into your life. Sit down to eat together, putting your phones and other gadgets aside, and just talk to each other. Believe me, this way you can become closer again, and from here mutual respect will appear.
When does it make sense to fight for a relationship?
Before you begin the journey of seeking respect from a given man, you need to answer the question: how necessary is this?
There are several relationship options when you shouldn’t waste time:
- a man does not respect and never has respected his wife. He was initially determined to dominate and humiliate, for which he looked for a wife with low self-esteem.
