A fun conversation is perhaps the best foundation for any relationship. And it doesn’t matter at all whether you are planning one or two dates or dreaming of a romantic love story for the rest of your life - one way or another, you will have to talk. If you can’t find the right words to start a conversation, or don’t know how to diversify a date, use a selection of interesting topics for conversation with a girl, depending on the situation and degree of acquaintance.
Competent dialogue technique
The topics we'll cover below are suitable for any situation. But in order for your dialogue to proceed smoothly and be pleasant for both, you should follow several rules:
- There is no need to interrupt your interlocutor or cut off her thoughts.
- Talk to each other and listen, rather than turning the conversation on yourself all the time.
- Even if the stated position does not seem correct to you, treat it with respect.
- If you are already asked about something, try to avoid monosyllabic answers. An interlocutor who is only capable of “yes”, “no”, “I don’t know” does not arouse interest.
- If you are in the mood for a romantic relationship with a girl, you should not bring up your ex in conversation. And even more so to compare a new acquaintance with her.
When you talk to a girl, try to tune in to her feelings. Avoid topics that are unpleasant to some of you. And be careful with questions: do not turn the conversation into an interrogation with bias.
First message
Your first message should be informative and positive. Identify yourself and remind us who you are:
"Hello Yana. This is Alexander, we met at the exhibition today”;
“Hello Olga, this is Yaroslav. Oksana introduced us yesterday.”
Looking ahead, I’ll say - don’t always respond to a girl’s messages right away. Mix your answers - fast, slow, long-short. This will force her to constantly check her phone and wait for an answer.
And further. Don't suddenly fall silent and wait for a reaction. Maybe earlier, when SMS was paid, and the Internet was only via a wire from a modem, this was an effective way. Nowadays, everyone has a gadget with the Internet at their fingertips around the clock. And the fact that you don’t answer means only one thing for the girl - you don’t want to.
Well, you know, who would want to be the one they remember every few days out of boredom.
How to start a conversation correctly: 10 topics that always work
When meeting a girl, you should be sensitive. If you ask questions “head-on”, your interlocutor may be afraid of such pressure. Therefore, to ensure that the acquaintance goes smoothly and you leave a good impression, choose neutral topics:
- Would you like to move in the future?
- Do you have any favorite books and films?
- Do you have pets or would you like to have one?
- Do you have a global goal that you are striving for?
- Does your family have any special traditions and customs?
- Where would you like to go on vacation if you could crash right now?
- What genre of music do you prefer?
- Are you more of a man of science or a man of faith?
- Are there any actions that you are particularly proud of?
- What person could never become your friend?
These questions will help you get to know your interlocutor better, but will not touch on too personal issues. By answering them, the girl herself will be able to set a boundary - what she is ready to talk about and what she is not yet ready to talk about.
What to talk about if you're already dating
It happens that you go on a date and everything seems fine, but there’s nothing to talk about. In these cases, you can discuss the following topics:
- last movie watched;
- future plans;
- upcoming holiday;
- latest achievements;
- new music;
- an event you can go to together;
- sex (if you’ve been together for a long time, let’s be honest);
- secret desires and fears;
- a sensational series that you could watch together;
- a resonant case in society.
The longer you are together, the less awkward the conversation becomes. There comes a moment when you feel comfortable even being silent together. But this does not mean that your relationship becomes boring. You're just getting closer.
Neutral conversations for any occasion
What to talk about with a girl if you met for coffee during the day and there is no talk of an intimate setting? Or if you're having a nice walk in the park with a pond and ducks, but you don't know how to start a conversation? There are universal questions you can ask to take your relationship further.
Hobbies and passion
- Do you like to play sports? Do you have a favorite look?
- Do you prefer extreme or calm entertainment?
- Do you have regular hobbies?
- Do your parents (friends, environment) support your hobby?
- Have you thought about making money doing what you love?
- Do you feel talented in any area?
- What would you like to learn?
- Do you like shopping? What do you like to choose and buy?
- Do you get addicted to things quickly?
- Does travel inspire you?
Work and career
- What was your first job?
- At what age did you start working?
- Do you think that while you are a student you should start building a career or is it better to study well?
- How do you see your dream job?
- Do you like your boss?
- Would you like to change your job?
- How do you see your career growth in the future?
- What profession seems ridiculous to you?
- Do you think parents should influence their children's choices or not?
- Could you suddenly change your profession just because you wanted to?
Rest and free time
- How do you prefer to relax?
- Do you have a scenario for your ideal vacation?
- Do you like road trips?
- What do you prefer - train or plane?
- Can you tell me the funniest story from your vacation with your friends?
- What would you do if you didn't have to study/work?
- Do you have any favorite alcoholic drinks or cocktails?
- What does your ideal date look like?
- Do you like to dance?
- Do you prefer to relax alone or in company?
Family and friends
- Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
- Do you have any brothers or sisters?
- At what age would you like to start a family?
- What qualities of people do you consider to be the key to strong and happy relationships?
- Do you want kids?
- Does your family have any special traditions?
- Do you often visit your parents?
- Would you like to change something about your childhood?
- What do your parents do for work?
- Do you consider family the most important thing in life?
Trips
- Where would you like to go right now?
- Do you have any favorite airlines?
- What kind of holiday do you prefer?
- What do you prefer - mountains, forest or sea?
- Have you ever been abroad?
- Which country's culture attracts you?
- Where would you never go?
- Have you had any funny situations while traveling?
- Do you often travel somewhere alone?
- Who would you really like to go on a trip with?
What to talk about with a girl depending on the situation
What to talk about with a girl often depends on the environment. Some topics will be inappropriate in correspondence, while others will be much easier to discuss at a distance.
By correspondence
What to talk about with a girl on VK or another social network? Firstly, it is better not to touch on too personal topics. Not everyone is ready to discuss private issues when they don’t even see the other person. Here are some perfectly acceptable topics:
- Would you like to work in show business?
- Which celebrities inspire you?
- What dish would you really like to eat right now?
- What are you missing in this life?
- Do you spend a lot of time on social networks?
- Could you live without a smartphone?
- Are you an emotional person?
- What's your favorite perfume?
- Do you have a fear of the future?
- What style of clothing do you prefer?
We recommend not to violate the girl’s personal boundaries in correspondence. For example, if he wrote that he was going to take a shower and go to bed, you shouldn’t embarrass her with a cheeky “And without me?” This will only cause rejection, because you are not close yet. And even more so, you don’t need to talk about frank and intimate things, otherwise your interlocutor may think that you only need sex.
By phone
By phone you can expand your thoughts without restrictions.
- If you had to give up one of your feelings, what would it be?
- What do people around you not know about you?
- What can get under your skin?
- What decision do you consider the most important in your life?
- Do you consider yourself a hot-tempered person?
- Was there something you did that you are still ashamed of?
- Have there been turning points in your life?
- What event do you remember with trepidation?
- What makes you feel anxious?
- What do you laugh at the hardest?
In person
Communicating in person is even easier than by correspondence - you can see the emotions of your interlocutor and enjoy it. On a date with a girl, you can ask her the following questions:
- What will you take with you to a desert island?
- Can you describe yourself in three words?
- Do you prefer chaos or order?
- Do you have temptations that you can't help but give in to?
- What do you do to relax?
- What is your favorite fictional character?
- Who do you admire?
- What would you spend a million dollars on?
- What have you never done, but really want to?
- What's your favorite time of day?
Interesting and unusual topics for conversation with a girl
Unusual topics of conversation with a girl that can turn the conversation in an unexpected direction:
- What do you do when you're in a bad mood?
- Have you ever been a bully?
- Would you like to change your first or last name?
- Do you have any quirks?
- If you worked in a circus, what animal would be your partner?
- If the apocalypse came, how would you survive?
- Would you like to live in a virtual world?
- What cartoon did you like as a child?
- What actions would you be ashamed to tell your children about?
- What couldn't you do even for a lot of money?
Just ask these questions instead of “Hi, how are you?” and look at the result.
Compliments
I highlighted it as a separate point specifically to attract attention. In general, compliments are a rather subtle and deep thing. It may look like a simple phrase, but the girl will rejoice over it.
Try to include them in your speech more often. But not directly, but indirectly, for example:
“You surprised me just now,” “Did you REALLY do that?” “Will you ever show this to me?”, “Damn, you are so (beautiful, kind, attentive...).”
“I like the way you reason. So wise and thoughtful,” “I’ve never seen anyone make friends so easily. You're so sweet and friendly."
They seemed to praise, were surprised, admired, but without all those cloying “You’re smart!”
Maybe,
Serious topics and questions to discuss with a girl
If you are planning a serious relationship, then conversations cannot be avoided. Therefore, sometimes you have to ask more complex questions, departing from a casual conversation:
- What action would you not be able to forgive?
- What qualities of a man are the most important to you?
- What would you like to achieve in the next year?
- Do you have a global goal for which you are ready to sacrifice relationships?
- How do you feel about cheating?
- Do you consider career or family most important?
- Are you ready for a serious relationship?
- How do you imagine your old age?
- How important is material well-being to you?
- Could you move to another city or country for the sake of a relationship?
Funny and cheerful topics for informal communication
Here's what will help defuse the situation:
- Do you prefer the Marvel or DC universe?
- When you drink tequila, do you lick the salt first and then the lime, or vice versa?
- Have you ever seen little pigeons?
- Do you have a nickname?
- What crazy thing could we do right now?
- Have you watched Game of Thrones?
- Which Harry Potter spell is your favorite?
- What do grandmothers say about you at the entrance?
- If you were making a trailer for your life, what would you include in it?
- Would you like to get an education at the University of Hamburgerology? And there is one!
Purpose of correspondence
Before I tell you what to write to a girl you like, I'll ask a question to make sure we're thinking in the same direction.
How do you want her to kiss you the next time you interact? Smiley face or real lips?
Obviously you want the latter. (I hope). Real communication is much more interesting and better than virtual communication.
The real purpose of texting is to meet, not to drag out conversations that go nowhere. Don't lose sight of the end goal.
Topics that will help you get to know a girl better
If you don’t know each other well yet, then you should talk to the girl about topics that will help you get to know her better. The interlocutor will also ask you questions, and you will be able to tell her more about yourself.
Life values
- Do you make decisions with your head or your heart?
- Is it more important for you to be happy or successful?
- Are you engaged in self-knowledge?
- Do you have any weaknesses?
- Could you live for some time without conveniences and means of communication?
- Do you know how to forgive or ask for forgiveness?
- What principles do you adhere to in life?
- How do you feel about children?
- Do you regret anything in your life?
- If you could go back in time, where would you go?
What qualities do you like most in people?
- Could you communicate with a cowardly person?
- Do you consider commercialism an advantage or a disadvantage?
- Do you believe in friendship between a woman and a man?
- How important is a person's appearance to you?
- Are you comfortable communicating with emotional people?
- What causes you sharp rejection?
- Which movie or book character is your favorite?
- If you went to Hogwarts, what house would it be?
- What attracts you to other people?
- What do you pay attention to when meeting people?
Motivation
- What inspires you to new achievements?
- What would you tell your 15-year-old self?
- If you run out of energy, what do you do to restore it?
- Do you have an idol?
- Are you serious about education?
- How do you start your day?
- What is your life motto?
- Do you have moments of devastation and apathy?
- Do you like to learn new things?
- What do you think is the secret of success?
What does he dream about?
- Do you dream of true love?
- What dream of yours never came true?
- Do you have ridiculous or strange dreams?
- What would you like to do in the future?
- What do you like to imagine before bed?
- What did you want to become when you were little?
- Have you ever imagined yourself as a model or actress?
- Which celebrity would you like to have dinner with?
- What makes you happy?
- What fictional world would you like to go to?
What should you tell her7
To have an interesting conversation, a guy must also take an active part. There is no need to indulge in personal memories and tell how you and your friends hung out for a few days during your vacation. Better talk about her yourself. The girl will definitely like it.
- Tell me what attracted you to her when you first met.
- What causes your admiration and surprise in her.
- What qualities do you like about her?
The girl will bloom with pleasure like a May rose.
Then you can move on to the second point:
- Discuss the next meeting.
- Offer to go for a walk together.
- Talk about leisure activities this coming weekend.
How to choose a topic for conversation depending on the situation
On first dates with a girl, the main thing is to find common topics in order to understand how comfortable you are together. Therefore, pay attention to what mood your interlocutor is in, what she looks like, and how she behaves. Even if you see that the girl is not in a good mood, do not rush to quit. If she didn’t want to see you, she simply wouldn’t come, so it’s in your power to correct the situation. The best way to cheer up a girl is humor and compliments. Try to unobtrusively defuse the situation and do not be persistent in your desire to find out what happened.
First meeting
In order for the first date to go off with a bang, you should prepare not only externally, but also choose the right topics for dialogue. When you first meet, you should talk about abstract topics. This will show that you are interested in the girl as a person.
Examples of topics:
- Funny stories or incidents from life. Non-boring topics always attract girls, so they feel more confident.
- Professional employment. This will make it easier to find common ground and avoid getting into an awkward situation.
- Personal hobbies. Everything is clear here - how to spend your personal time.
- Close people. Relatives, friends, this is the world in which she lives. This topic can fill the pauses.
- Future plans. Goals and aspirations are a broad topic of conversation.