01.07.2018
Women with a schizoid personality type shatter the classical idea of the weaker sex with its gushing emotionality, thriftiness and penchant for shopping.
A schizoid woman is an excellent listener, as she is naturally taciturn. Contemplation and observation are her main positions. In a cheerful company, she often sits on the sidelines or talks with someone alone, since she quickly gets tired of a large number of people.
Appearance and attitude to things
The way a schizoid woman dresses can rather be called strange. She can either mix a “cocktail” of incompatible styles into her outfit, or prefer nondescript, extremely modest clothes, which she wears, regardless of the setting and situation, be it a wedding ceremony or a walk in the yard. Being a born individualist, a young lady of this type will never sacrifice her comfort for the sake of social demands. If your favorite jeans look inappropriate at a celebration, she is unlikely to be concerned about this circumstance.
A certain sloppiness is very characteristic of schizoid women. You don’t need to renew your nail polish for a couple of months, and a sloppy ponytail instead of a neat hairstyle is the most common thing. You don’t have to pay any attention to appearance, because the main thing is not the form, but the content, the schizoid woman believes. It’s much easier to cover a stain on your trousers with a long jacket than to urgently change clothes and wash it - it’s so tedious, and why?
Sloppiness in clothing is complemented by the same chaos in everyday life. A schizoid woman’s apartment is her refuge, where only her rules reign. The dishes after dinner can be washed when the sink is overflowing, and rubbing the floors is pointless, since the dust also wants to rest and lie quietly - there is no need to disturb it. The next morning, a schizoid woman will put on the socks that she finds first, having completed a whole quest through a cluttered apartment. Her workplace will again not deviate from the general rule: in the eternal creative chaos that irritates everyone around, she herself can navigate perfectly.
Despite such disorder, schizoid women become strongly attached to their few but very beloved things, which are very difficult for them to part with. In old age, when this trait becomes more pronounced, schizoid “dens” become like a dump of all sorts of unnecessary things, but the Plyushkin ladies will never allow one of their relatives to clean up all this rubbish.
Schizoid in Gestalt theory
Schizoid is an individual in whom the schizoid component of the personality is dominant or more strongly expressed than others.
The
main need of a schizoid is safety (as well as vitality - the feeling of being alive).
People with schizoid personality types use detachment as a defense mechanism. They leave - from people, into loneliness, into the world of their own fantasies. They always choose a distance, and they do not need other distorting defenses: denial, dissociation (separation of themselves from their unpleasant experiences), repression.
To avoid difficulties in communication, they prefer activities that they can indulge in alone. To not be in a group, a team. Many of them are busy with creativity, interested in philosophy, spiritual practices, meditation...
Childhood
The child grows up to be extremely sensitive. He reacts to stimuli as if they were causing him pain. Moreover, to a variety of stimuli: sound, light, any changes, tactile sensations (like labels scratching the skin). When we take such a child in our arms, he does not cuddle, but moves away, his body becomes rigid. Children with a schizoid personality type often refuse to breastfeed. They feel completely unprotected, and any contact is perceived by them as an invasion, a violation of their integrity. It can be assumed that their skin is too thin.
As a defense, a person with a schizoid personality type prefers care. But he also feels separation (parting) from someone very acutely. Why? The fact is that he is already willing to let only a few people close to him, and the loss of one of these people would mean the disappearance of a very significant part of the support system.
Example: a story from a mother of two sons
My children are being choked, stabbed and pinched. 2 sons - 8 years old and 5 years old. A helmet is suffocating, a scarf is suffocating, the high neck of the jacket is suffocating, a buttoned hood is suffocating, even overalls with a chest are suffocating and put pressure on the shoulders. And so we go to kindergarten and school, and they whine all the way, they say that now They will vomit and choke. Shirts suffocate the eldest, and I’m generally silent about ties; he will never wear a turtleneck in his life, it will instantly suffocate him just by its appearance. Collet. The youngest one gets sick of everything. God forbid he flogs the tag from his clothes, he will wear himself out and everyone around him, he feels like he feels every seam, he will prick, he will scratch this place until it bleeds. The tights also crush and suffocate them. They wear only long johns and socks with weak elastic bands. Moreover, they lower the elastic band of the long johns to the level of the balls, apparently this way it doesn’t suffocate so much))) Shoes should have at least a margin of 1 cm. If the big toe, God forbid, touches the inside of the boot, then that’s all, tryndets - it presses, not enough. When my children come home, the first thing they do is undress down to their underpants and then their discomfort goes away. At home they are always just in shorts. In infancy, it was very easy to calm a screaming baby - you just need to strip him naked. But I thought it would pass. They are adults, but things are still there. This is neurosis, right? Two at once?
Relationship
Schizoid relationship dynamics are characterized by long pre-contact: acquaintances, first steps towards rapprochement, establishing connections. A schizoid tends to take a long time to navigate, look closely, hesitate and be embarrassed.
Because of the painful need for security, the I-thou contact boundary is very rigid. A schizoid reacts to a violation of boundaries with aggression or withdrawal. Therefore, in relationships, it is important for such people to immediately indicate their status, boundaries (which is ensured by agreements) and, preferably, the time frame for staying in this relationship, in a certain status. Attempts to sort things out are perceived as an invasion and encroachment on personal freedom. The famous double bind is theirs, “let me be alone, but don’t leave me forever” - the schizoid is in an eternal oscillation between the need for intimacy and the horror of being absorbed by the Other. Another “schizoid trick” is allegory: instead of a direct and clear message, it’s faster to get a metaphor, allegory, quote, or even a song or a link to a film or book from them - they say, guess for yourself.
In close relationships, it is sometimes difficult for them to stop and say “stop” to their partner (due to fear of rejection), as a result, they may experience emotional exhaustion ( a lot of energy was spent on ensuring safety ). Therefore, do not be surprised if your schizoid partner, after a violent outburst in the relationship, suddenly disappears for a long time, without a word of explanation.
For a schizoid, the Essence is important in everything. The question “why?” - main. This is the philosophical “why all this love, what is it and what is its meaning?” A schizoid tends to analyze relationships more than to live in them, to endlessly discuss and prove something (which often annoys his partner). This is also one of the ways to leave contact - by reasoning. Theorizing, the schizoid removes the cover of horror from the surrounding world and tries to make it manageable and predictable.
Schizoid people are committed to autistic experiences; they often remain in their inner world rather than sharing their feelings with others. In this regard, they have a very developed imagination, and they tend to go into their inner worlds, being in love, and dream, dream...
The main “schizoid” requirements for a partner look something like this: understanding (preferably without words), tact (sensitivity), sufficient autonomy of the partner, loyalty to departures and oddities, and maintaining a comfortable distance. Due to the fact that they do not have flexibility in emotional connections, schizoids tend to “stick” to some love object for a long time and hope for reciprocity, despite the obvious impossibility of this. Monogamous people are definitely schizoids.
Some of them (especially those with high libido), in order not to expose themselves to the risk of attachment, manage to separate sex, as a vital need, from sensual relationships. Some even manage to “split” the same person. Therefore, in modern (schizo) culture, such phenomena as “sex for friendship” have not surprised anyone for a long time. That is, we can say that both extreme romanticism and the “medical” attitude towards sex are all manifestations of the schizoid part of the personality. If sexuality and sensuality can be integrated, and there is enough trust in the relationship, then the schizoid partner is able to give the best sex, the most refined and tender. In “healthy schizoidism” you can finely tune into another person and feel him. Tantra, yoga, spiritual and energy practices, high art - all this is done from this part.
Schizoids are originals and gourmets, both in sex and in food, in clothing, and in everything that is included in the intimate area. If a schizoid allowed you into his personal space, this already means a lot. In addition, schizoids are a priori intelligent people, and if they want to maintain a relationship, they will make every effort to understand another person dear to them. They will raise mountains of literature, go to therapy and will evolve in every possible way to fill this gap in the development of intimacy.
Therapy
1. Such people avoid contact and are easily frightened. They need as much space as possible to feel safe. The therapist must avoid trespassing on the client's territory. So that they don’t feel like an “interesting clinical case.” They cannot stand insincerity and lies; it is important to be absolutely truthful, real, and honest.
2. From difficulties: often therapeutic relationships become more comfortable for them than relationships with real, ordinary people in everyday life. You may find that although the person came to you with the desire to become more sociable, during the course of treatment he did not achieve this. Towards the end of therapy, he needs to be pushed a little by asking whether he managed to solve the issue with which he came.
3. It is important that a person with a schizoid personality type knows that you consider him normal.
4. It is difficult for such people to talk about feelings. Even if they want it. The very act of speaking is painful for them. Metaphors can be used to discuss feelings .
In psychotherapeutic work with a schizoid client, it is important to work through hostile prejudices towards the surrounding social reality, restore the schizoid’s contact with his own emotions and feelings (mainly fear and anger), develop the ability for emotional intimacy and teach the ability to endure these feelings, extracting from them a resource for own development. It is also important to work with the bodily aspects of self-awareness, to integrate the intellectual, emotional and bodily spheres to strengthen the sense of one’s own safety in the world. Confronting is unproductive; it scares the schizoid. You need to be the opposite of a “schizogenic mother”, not push, but slow down. To the therapist
It is recommended to have good control over your borderline part - with schizoids there is often a feeling of rejection.
Summary Schizoid personality type:
Personality traits: Caring, autism. Fragmentation, fragmentation.
Unfinished developmental tasks: Attachment. Schizoids do not know how to establish attachment. "In contact I can be destroyed or consumed."
Avoided experience. Destruction. Absorption. Maintains distance, avoids conflict and avoids merger.
Frightening emotion . Horror (destruction, non-existence, death).
Defenses: Deflexion (evasion). Projection.
Relationships with others. Avoidance of relationships.
Behavior in therapy. Inhibited. Intellectualized (restraint of feelings).
Therapeutic setting. If there is such fear, then it is important to be gentle, careful and not impose your direction. Softness. Unobtrusiveness.
Schizoid in cinema
In cinema, Sheldon Cooper (“The Big Bang Theory”) is a prominent representative, but his character also shows significant narcissistic traits. In both life and cinema, this type of experience is quite rare.
If you want to watch how a schizoid child grows up, there is the series “Sheldon’s Childhood”.
Sherlock Holmes is a schizoid, he does not have close contacts with people, with the exception of Watson. The most pronounced schizoid traits are manifested in Sherlock, played by Benedict Cumberbatch. The prototype of Sherlock Holmes was also Doctor House of the series of the same name.
Schizoid Spencer, hero of the TV series Criminal Minds. Schizoid - Forrest Gump.
Also schizoid is Batman, a socially isolated superhero who is developing a secret superweapon and improving his physical skills.
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Comparison of three types: schizoid, neurotic, narcissistic
Relationships with others
It is extremely important for women of a schizoid type to have the opportunity to retire in their own corner, since a large company irritates them and quickly tires them. If their personal boundaries, including physical ones, are violated, they can give an unpredictable, severe reaction. This is explained by their innate ability to stay away from others, to distance themselves from them in order to maintain their own peace and integrity.
Very often, a schizoid woman limits herself exclusively to work contacts, since it is not typical for her to acquire friendly connections and acquaintances. She is very difficult to establish friendly intimacy, easily breaks off contacts and, in fact, does not need them. Having little social experience, such a lady tends to distrust people, which is also reflected in new acquaintances.
In a work collective, a schizoid young lady can be easily recognized by her detachment, low activity in discussing work issues and restraint, amounting to coldness and formality. Such traits are often regarded by others as arrogance. All this often prevents schizoid women from achieving professional heights, since they tend to ignore the communication aspect in the work process.
If someone manages to “break through” the “defense” held by a schizoid and become a close person for her, such a friend can count on devotion and warmth. She never forgives betrayals, as well as betrayals.
Diagnostics
It is not enough to confirm a schizoid personality type with the mere fact that a person has signs of detachment and loneliness. To make a correct diagnosis, it is necessary to have other factors, such as a person’s complete loss of the ability to adapt to certain circumstances, as well as an internal destructive process that undermines health.
In many cases, the exact cause of personality disorders is unknown, but according to psychiatrists, certain events increase the risk of developing or are the starting point of the disorder:
- The presence of disrupted behavior patterns or mental illness in close relatives.
- Violent, unstable, or chaotic home life during childhood.
- Diagnosis with conduct disorder in childhood.
- Disorders of the nervous system at the structural, molecular and cellular level.
There are no evidence-based laboratory tests to specifically diagnose schizoid disorder. Doctors use various tests to check for schizoid personality traits. Tests are also used to rule out physical illness and draw the line between illness and deviations in personality characteristics.
- Sociopath test. The questions included in the test will tell the doctor whether the patient has signs of antisocial disorder.
- Depression test. The answers determine the type of depression, mild or severe.
- Rorschach test. Psychodiagnostic test for the study of mental disorders.
- Psychological testing. Using the test, individual psychological deviations of a person are established and measured.
Test psychodiagnostics can be ordered at Psychotherapy Centers. The cost of the procedure is from 2 thousand rubles. In addition to testing, patients are interviewed by a psychotherapist or psychiatrist.
Relationships with the opposite sex
In relationships with the opposite sex, a woman of the schizoid type can be unpredictable. Fearing a violation of her inner peace, she is able to completely erase the annoying boyfriend from her life without explaining the reasons. A schizoid woman generally tends to easily give out reactions of escapism, running away from any traumatic situation.
A partner can count on reciprocity only on the condition that he is as patient, caring as possible and able to see behind the feigned cynicism - a common protective mask of schizoid women - a fragile and vulnerable, but extremely rich and amazing inner world.
If the partner is not distinguished by such sensitivity, insight and attentiveness, the schizoid may settle on the strategy of unemotional physical intimacy. The couple lives together, but for the man, the feelings and internal state of his detached partner remain a sealed secret. He can’t shake the feeling that she is “a cat walking on her own.”
Causes
The causes of SPD have not yet been established by medical science. However, there is reason to believe that a combination of genetic and psychological factors plays a major role here. Schizoid disorder is genetically related to schizophrenia. It is known that this disorder is more likely to affect those people who have a family history of relatives with schizophrenia. There is no doubt that psychological trauma received by the child in childhood, episodes of violence against the child, and too harsh upbringing also play a significant role in the occurrence of the disorder.
Family life
Not everyone can live with such a person. After all, a schizoid is not able to take care of his family, since he himself needs care. Helplessness at home does not allow you to do housework independently.
His unpretentiousness in food is considered a positive quality, since a schizoid is more concerned about the spiritual. He doesn't pay much attention to the appearance of his loved ones.
The schizoid psychotype gives preference to people who are smart and quite intellectual, but he hates it when people pry into his soul, and therefore tries to choose a partner who shares his views on life. A kind of intermediary between him and the outside world should not distract or reproach him, and therefore very often schizoids live alone. It is loneliness that does not require performing household duties and does not distract from the development of internal fantasy.
How is a schizoid character formed?
Schizoid trauma usually occurs in the first months of a child's life. Scientists conducted observations and found that immediately after birth, a baby is already capable of quite meaningful interaction with the people who surround him. Babies can distinguish the voices of those who care for them, see their faces at close range, and can even read the emotional mood of an adult - sadness, joy, kindness, anger. When an adult is in a positive emotional state, the baby will be calm; if the adult is angry or indifferent, the child will distance himself from him at the level of instincts.
Of course, adults can be in different moods - fatigue and lack of sleep do not allow the baby’s parent to constantly be in a joyful state. Today the parent is tired or upset, tomorrow he is cheerful and cheerful. Seeing these changes, the baby calms down.
But if for many months in a row a child is faced with indifference, coldness or anger, and there is little or no kind attitude, trauma occurs.
Why is coldness and indifference so terrible for a child? An adult, seeing that he is not welcome, can leave, ask why, and try to cheer him up. The baby’s psyche is still primitive, and of course he cannot go anywhere, so the only way out is withdrawal - exclusion from interaction.
In addition, for the development of the psyche, a child needs communication with an adult. It is the adult who must teach the child to deal with emotions. If this does not happen, the baby begins to block his natural emotional reactions. The child tries to attract attention to himself as little as possible, restrain himself, go into the shadows, so as not to cause a new outbreak of anger in adults. Consequently, his psyche remains at the level of primitive affects - rage and horror. A person cannot be constantly terrified, so he turns on primitive psychological defenses - withdrawal from reality, isolation of affect, repression.
Psychological help
Psychotherapy is used to treat schizoid accentuation. The psychoanalytic approach, which involves long-term work by a psychologist, helps well. The specialist must act carefully, reducing the distance very gradually. You cannot focus the patient’s attention on his characteristics or emphasize his originality. To achieve the schizoid's favor, a demonstration of acceptance of his non-standard thinking is necessary.
Group therapy also works well; in these classes, individuals learn to accept themselves through the example of studying people like themselves. The environment should be as comfortable as possible and based on a feeling of complete safety. Of course, not all schizoid personalities can open up in the presence of strangers, but if you conduct such classes regularly, you can gradually achieve their participation in therapy.
Cognitive therapy is based on the experience of positive emotions. In this case, the patient must study the entire range of feelings and learn to understand each of them. Next, he must practice expressing positive emotions in life situations, as well as building friendly contacts. You need to start this kind of work in a familiar environment, but gradually leave your comfort zone.
To live comfortably next to a schizoid woman, and to communicate meaningfully with her, you need to find an approach to her. Treatment of people with the schizoid type is necessary only in cases where they have difficulties with social adaptation, problems with professional activities and personal life. In most cases, correction is not necessary.
