Demonstrative behavior of schoolchildren: causes, manifestations, methods of correction

A child’s communication and attitude towards other people changes significantly during preschool age. Thus, in the middle of preschool age (4-5 years), the need for recognition and respect appears and begins to dominate. If until the age of 3-4 years children received direct pleasure from playing with toys, now it is important for them to know how their actions are perceived and evaluated by the people around them. The child strives to attract the attention of others, sensitively catches signs of attitude toward himself in their glances and facial expressions, and demonstrates resentment in response to inattention or reproaches from partners. In children's communication at this age, a competitive, competitive element appears. The peer becomes the subject of constant comparison with oneself. Through such a comparison of his specific qualities, skills and abilities, the child can evaluate and affirm himself as the owner of certain advantages.

This stage is natural and necessary for the development of interpersonal relationships. By contrasting himself with a peer and thus highlighting his “I,” the child can return to his peer and perceive him as an integral, valuable person. Usually by the age of 6-7 years, the ability to appreciate the qualities and skills of other people, the desire to be friends, help, and do something together appears.

However, demonstrativeness is often fixed and develops into a personal characteristic, a stable character trait. Such children are most concerned with showing their superiority in everything. The main motive for the child’s actions is the positive assessment of others, with the help of which he satisfies his own exaggerated need for self-affirmation.

Peculiarities of behavior of demonstrative children

Unlike touchy and shy children, demonstrative children are distinguished by their pronounced activity and desire to attract attention by any possible means . Such children, as a rule, are quite active in communication. However, in most cases, when turning to a partner, they do not feel real interest in him or desire to do something together. Mostly they want to show themselves and arouse the admiration of others: they talk about themselves, show off their toys, demonstrate any means of attracting the attention of adults or peers. “Look how I can draw, jump, how quickly I eat, what kind of slippers I have, etc.” Self-affirmation and the admiring attention of others are their main goal and value. At the same time, both positive forms of behavior (“look how good I am”) and actions expressing aggression can be a way of attracting attention. Demonstrative children are very focused on the assessment of others , especially adults. As a rule, such children strive at all costs to obtain a positive assessment of themselves and their actions. However, in cases where relationships with adults or peers do not work out, demonstrative children use negative behavioral tactics: they show aggression, complain, provoke scandals and quarrels.

Demonstrativeness can manifest itself not only in the desire to show one’s own merits and achievements. Possessing attractive objects is also a traditional form of self-display. For many children, the strong desire to own some kind of car or doll is not connected with their own gaming needs, but with the desire to demonstrate their property (and therefore an advantage) over others. How often, having received a new toy as a gift, children take it to kindergarten not to play with it, but to show it off and show it off.

Self-affirmation is often achieved by reducing the value or devaluing of another . For example, after seeing a drawing by a peer, a demonstrative child may say: “I draw better, this is not a beautiful drawing at all.” In general, comparative forms prevail in the speech of demonstrative children: better/worse; prettier/uglier, etc. They constantly compare themselves with others, and it is clear that this comparison is always “in their favor.”

Demonstrative children show increased interest in the actions of their peers: they watch what others are doing, make comments and comments, while their interest is clearly evaluative. So, Nastya D. (5 years 9 months), as soon as the adult gave the task to her partner, she began to be loudly indignant: “Why did they tell Nikita to do it, he doesn’t know how to do anything, and in his quiet time he behaved badly. The teacher scolded him. I’ll do better, can I, well, please.” At the same time, she continuously watched Nikita’s actions and tried to insert elements into his mosaic herself.

In addition, the behavior of demonstrative children is characterized by high normativity: children often explain the motivation for the action by saying that it is necessary. Using socially approved forms of behavior, children constantly expect and demand positive evaluation of their actions. However, their correct moral actions are unstable and dependent on the situation. Demonstrative children can solve the same problem in different ways, depending on the presence or absence of an adult. For example, in one of our studies, a situation was organized in which the child could share or not share candy with his partner. In the first situation, an adult was present in the room, although he did not take part in what was happening. Demonstrative children shared with a peer, commenting on their action out loud, turning to an adult. For example, Lyusya D. (5 years 7 months), looking at an adult, says: “I’ll give Katya candy, because she didn’t get any. Good children always share with those who were not given. Really, did I do a good job?...” In the second situation, the adult left the room, but all the children’s words were recorded on a voice recorder. This time, the same children did not even think about sharing with their partner, even despite their requests. The same Lucy D., in response to a peer’s request to give him half a candy, this time said: “I won’t give it to you. Why should I? This was given to me. Ask, maybe they will give it to you.” Thus, there is a pronounced formalism . For them, it is much more important to comply with the external picture of approved behavior than to actually help a peer. Thus, even when performing a kind deed, a child does it not for the sake of another, but in order to demonstrate his own kindness to others (a certain form of “ostentatious altruism”).

Demonstrative children react very emotionally and even painfully to the reproach and praise of other children. When an adult gives a negative assessment to the actions of a peer, a demonstrative child enthusiastically and with great pleasure supports her. In response to the praise of a peer, he, on the contrary, begins to object. Thus, Anya R. (6 years 1 month), after listening to praise addressed to a peer, said: “Well, maybe it’s better than last time, but it’s still ugly and uneven.”

Demonstrativeness is very clearly revealed in the nature and degree of help to other children. So, in one of the classes, we asked two children to assemble their own pattern from a mosaic - the sun in the sky, while the parts of different colors were not distributed equally: one child had predominantly yellow parts, the other - blue. Accordingly, in order to complete the task, the child is forced to turn to a peer for help and ask for the necessary details. Observations showed that the majority of demonstrative children in this situation provided formal provocative assistance, i.e. in response to a peer’s request, they gave only one element, which was clearly not enough. Thus, Mitya S. (5 years 11 months) noticed that his partner did not have the necessary yellow elements, but he sat silently and did not ask him for anything. Then Mitya turned to his partner with the words: “Sasha, if you don’t ask for permission, I won’t give it to you.” Sasha continued to sit silently, Mitya repeated: “Ask, and I’ll give.” Sasha asked very quietly: “Give me a few yellow ones, otherwise I didn’t have enough.” Mitya smiled and put one element in Sasha’s box with the words: “Here, you asked, I gave it.” To Sasha’s further requests, Mitya answered irritably: “I already gave it to you.” Don’t you see, I do the same, wait.” Igor B. (5 years 8 months), in response to a peer’s request, began to give him elements of any colors except the one that was actually needed, while he pretended that he did not hear his peer’s objections at all. Other children began to share as soon as they finished their mosaic, but they did it very reluctantly. This type of assistance, without harming oneself, can be called pragmatic. Thus, Roma S. (5 years 2 months) did not react in any way to his partner’s requests for the necessary elements, pretended that he did not hear, and sang a song loudly. As soon as he completed his picture, he looked at his partner with interest: “Oh, you don’t have any yellow ones. You’ll have to add a little extra... Don’t be afraid, we’ll give it to you.” Having put several yellow elements in the box for his partner, Roma turned to the adult: “Look how much I gave him.”

From these examples it is clear that the basis of these children’s attitude towards others is the desire to surpass others, to show their advantages. This is manifested in the constant comparison of one’s achievements with the successes of others, in demonstrating one’s superiority in everything.

For demonstrative children, another child acts mainly as a bearer of a certain attitude; he is interesting only in connection with the attitude he shows towards him - whether he appreciates or does not appreciate, helps or not. For example, Nastya talks about her friend Katya like this: “Katya helps me, if I get into trouble, she is friends with me, she can help me with drawing. Kind because she plays with me. Of course, I am also kind. I’m just like Katya, even I’m even better.”

Types of emotional and behavioral disorders in children

This type of behavior disorder in children is manifested by intentional and conscious non-compliance with generally accepted social norms. Deviant acts are usually directed at adults.

• Attention deficit
• Protest behavior

There are three forms of this pathology: negativism, obstinacy and stubbornness.

Negativism is a child’s refusal to do something just because he was asked to do it. Most often it occurs as a result of improper upbringing. Characteristic manifestations include causeless crying, insolence, rudeness or, on the contrary, isolation, aloofness, and touchiness.

Stubbornness is the desire to achieve one’s goal in order to go against parents, and not to satisfy a real desire.

Obstinacy - in this case, the protest is directed against the norms of upbringing and the imposed way of life in general, and not at the leading adult.

Aggressive behavior

Aggressive behavior is understood as purposeful actions of a destructive nature that contradict the norms and rules accepted in society. The child causes psychological discomfort in others, causes physical damage to living and inanimate objects, etc.

Infantile behavior

In the actions of infantile children, traits characteristic of an earlier age or a previous stage of development can be traced. At the appropriate level of physical abilities, the child is characterized by the immaturity of integrative personal formations.

Conformal behavior

Conformal behavior is manifested by complete submission to external conditions. It is usually based on involuntary imitation and high suggestibility.

Symptomatic behavior (fears, tics, psychosomatics, logoneurosis, hesitations in speech)

In this case, behavior disorder in children is a kind of signal that the current situation is no longer unbearable for the fragile psyche. Example: vomiting or nausea as a reaction to stress.

It is always very difficult to diagnose disorders in children.

But, if the signs can be recognized in a timely manner and consult a specialist in time, and treatment and correction can be started without delay, then severe manifestations of the disease can be avoided, or they can be minimized.

It must be remembered that childhood psychoneurological disorders do not go away without a trace; they leave their negative mark on the development and social capabilities of the little person.

But if professional neuropsychological assistance is provided in a timely manner, many diseases of the child’s psyche can be fully cured, and some can be SUCCESSFULLY ADAPTED to and feel comfortable in society.

In general, specialists diagnose problems in children such as ADHD, tics, in which the child has involuntary movements, or vocalizations, when the child tends to utter sounds that do not make sense. In childhood, anxiety disorders and various fears can be observed.

With behavioral disorders, children ignore any rules and demonstrate aggressive behavior. The list of common diseases includes disorders related to thinking disorders.

Neurologists and neuropsychologists often use the term “borderline mental disorders” in children. This means that there is a state that is an intermediate link between deviation and norm

Therefore, it is especially important to begin correction in time and quickly get closer to the norm, so as not to subsequently eliminate gaps in intellectual, speech and social development

The causes of mental disorders in children are different. They are often caused by hereditary factors, diseases, and traumatic lesions.

Therefore, parents should focus on comprehensive correctional techniques.

What underlies children's demonstrativeness?

So, ideas about the own qualities and abilities of demonstrative children need constant reinforcement through comparison with someone else, the bearer of which is a peer. These children have a pronounced need for other people; they constantly need company and communication. But other people are needed to show oneself, to have something to compare with. When comparing oneself with another, a pronounced competitiveness and a strong orientation towards the assessment of others .

One of the ways of self-affirmation is compliance with moral standards, which is aimed at receiving encouragement from adults or at feeling one’s own moral superiority. Therefore, such children sometimes do good, noble deeds. However, adherence to moral norms is clearly formal and demonstrative; it is not aimed at other children, but at receiving a positive assessment, at establishing oneself in the eyes of others.

One’s own “kindness” or “fairness” is emphasized as personal advantages and is contrasted with other, “bad” children.

Unlike other problematic forms of interpersonal relationships (such as aggressiveness or shyness), demonstrativeness is not considered a negative and, in fact, problematic quality. Moreover, at present, some features inherent in demonstrative children, on the contrary, are socially approved: perseverance, healthy egoism, the ability to achieve one’s own, the desire for recognition, ambition are considered the key to a successful life position. However, this does not take into account that opposing oneself to another, the painful need for recognition and self-affirmation are the shaky foundation of psychological comfort and certain actions. The insatiable need for praise and superiority over others becomes the main motive for all actions and deeds. The “I” of such a child is at the center of his world and consciousness; he constantly examines and evaluates himself through the eyes of others, perceives himself exclusively through the attitude of others, and this attitude must be enthusiastic. He is confident that others should think only of him, admire his virtues and express their admiration. Such a child is constantly afraid of being worse than others. This fear gives rise to anxiety, self-doubt, and constant tension, which is compensated by boasting and emphasizing one’s advantages. The main difficulty is not even that such a child incorrectly evaluates himself, but that this assessment becomes the main content of his life , covering up the entire world around him and other people. He literally sees nothing except what others think and say about him. Such tension can cause not only envy and jealousy when meeting a more successful peer, but also various neurotic deviations. That is why it is important to promptly identify manifestations of demonstrativeness as a personal quality and help the child overcome such a competitive position.

General information

A person with a demonstrative personality type likes to fantasize and embellish reality.

A demonstrative personality type is a type that exhibits demonstrative behavior, mobility, and is characterized by artistry and emotional liveliness.

Such individuals are prone to lies, pretense, and often fantasize. Moreover, these actions occur not due to the fault of an evil nature, but because of the desire to rise in the eyes of others, to embellish something. It costs him nothing to lie at any moment. He himself is confident in the veracity of his words at the moment

A person may be aware of his lie, however, he will not take it seriously, his conscience will not gnaw. These individuals are also characterized by the ability to forget moments of their life that they do not want to remember. This is called repression. The individual will strive to be in full view of everyone; it is important for him that there be increased attention to his person, he wants to be praised. This type of people is characterized by emotional lability. Also characterized by high adaptability. There is a negative quality - inconstancy.

Such individuals may be liked by others for their extraordinary thinking and unconventional actions, but they are also able to repel people by the fact that they pay a lot of attention to themselves, and also by the fact that their words can rarely be trusted. Such a person is one of the few who is capable of generating conflicts in his environment. At the same time, she herself does not understand that she is an irritant to the people who surround her. She does not recognize that she is the source of conflict. This individual, as a rule, is self-confident, vain, and these qualities are not supported by anything real. Such individuals want to be leaders and have exclusive rights. Such an individual is usually egocentric. It is important to her what impression she makes; she is ready to use any tricks in order to increase her importance in the eyes of other people. However, these tricks can be exposed, which will provoke disapproval and bewilderment on the part of the environment. The personality has a sufficient level of adaptation, does not plan anything in advance, and is more guided by an influx of emotions rather than an analysis of the current situation. An employee with this type of personality resists loneliness, is not painstaking, and will behave extravagantly in order to attract the attention of colleagues. He may exaggerate, for example, health problems. When visiting a doctor, he will talk about symptoms that are not even close. A person needs to be pitied. He can prove himself to be excellent in a certain area, in particular, service. For example, being behind the counter of a store, a demonstrative person will be able to choose an approach to each customer. This is achieved through the ability to play the role that will be most pleasant for the opponent. For example, when communicating with a shy buyer, the seller will behave actively, with a confident one - modestly. Such individuals can balance relationships in difficult situations. For example, a marriage can be successful if one of the partners knows how to adapt.

Is it possible to overcome the competitive position of a preschooler

Recently, the formation of positive self-esteem, encouragement and recognition of the child’s merits have become almost the main methods of social and moral education. This method is based on the belief that positive self-esteem provides emotional comfort to the child and promotes the development of self-confidence. Such upbringing really reinforces and strengthens positive self-esteem, the confidence that “I am better than everyone else.” As a result, the child begins to perceive and experience only himself and his attitude towards himself. And this, as shown above, is the main problem of demonstrative children. Such focus on oneself and one’s own merits does not allow one to see the other, turning him into a competitor and adversary. Therefore, the absence of evaluations and comparisons of children (who is better and who is worse) should be one of the first conditions for overcoming demonstrativeness.

Adults should strive to save the child from the need to assert himself and prove his superiority. A child, even without constant praise and evaluation, should feel respect for himself and the love of close adults. Only then will he feel the pricelessness of his personality and will not need constant encouragement and comparisons with others.

It is also necessary to abandon the competitive nature of games and activities. Competitions, competitive games, duels and competitions are very common and widely used in education. However, all these games direct the child’s attention to his own qualities and merits, generate an orientation towards the assessment of others and towards demonstrating his advantages.

To overcome demonstrativeness, the main thing is to show the child that the assessment and attitude of others is far from the most important thing in his life , and that other children are not at all focused on his person. They have their own interests, desires and problems, which are no worse or better, but simply different.

Of course, it is useless to explain all this in words to a preschooler. You can “move” a child away from such fixation on himself by opening him up to new interests, switching to cooperation and full-fledged communication . Traditional activities for preschoolers - drawing, modeling, design and, of course, playing - open up rich opportunities for this. A child should experience the pleasure of drawing or playing - not because he does it best and will be praised for it, but because it is interesting, especially if you do it all together. Interest in fairy tales, songs, and looking at pictures distracts the child from evaluating himself and thoughts about how others treat him. Other children should not become a source of resentment for him, but partners in a common cause. He must understand that other children do not exist to respect and praise him. They have their own interests and desires, which are not at all related to his person. To do this, it is important to create situations and organize games in which children can experience community and involvement with each other in real interaction. These are primarily role-playing games, round dance games, simple games with rules, etc.

Here are a few games that will help you better see your peers, appreciate them and experience a sense of community with them. From 2 to 6 children of senior preschool age (5-6 years old) can participate in these games.

Types of addiction

Addiction that occurs in adolescents is similar to adult addiction. There are chemical and non-chemical. The first is associated with the use of substances that affect the nervous system, causing saturation of pleasure centers. Such means include:

• alcohol (see Effect of alcohol on the brain);
• substance abuse;
• cigarettes;
• hookah smoking;
• medications.

Non-chemical addiction consists of any activity that leads to the destruction of mental health. This includes:

• gaming addiction;
• gluttony;
• workaholism;
• sectarianism;
• sexual behavior;
• masochism;
• listening to specific music.

The emergence of addiction can lead to the development of asocialization, as well as to the emergence in a teenager of:

• bipolar associative disorder (manic-depressive psychosis);
• psychosomatic pathologies;
• homicidal or suicidal tendencies;
• paranoid schizophrenia;
• degradation;
• sociopathy.

"Mirror"

Before the start of the game there is a warm-up. The adult stands in front of the children and asks them to repeat his movements as accurately as possible. He demonstrates light physical exercises and the children imitate his movements. After this, the children are divided into pairs and each pair takes turns “performing” in front of the others. In each pair, one performs some action (for example, clapping his hands or raising his arms, or leaning to the side), and the other tries to reproduce his movement as accurately as possible, as in a mirror. Each couple decides for itself who will show and who will reproduce the movements. If a mirror distorts or is late, it is damaged (or crooked). A couple of children are asked to practice and “fix” a damaged mirror.

When all the mirrors are working normally, the adult invites the children to do what people usually do in front of a mirror: wash, comb their hair, do exercises, dance. The mirror must simultaneously repeat all the person’s actions. You just need to try to do it very accurately, because there are no inaccurate mirrors!

Advertising

"Echo"

An adult tells the children about Echo, who lives in the mountains or in a large empty room; you cannot see it, but you can hear it: it repeats everything, even the strangest sounds. After this, the children are divided into two groups, one of which depicts travelers in the mountains, and the other - Echo. The first group of children in single file (in a chain) “travels around the room” and takes turns making different sounds (not words, but sound combinations), for example: “Au-u-u-u”, or: “Tr-r-r-r” , and so on. There should be long pauses between sounds, which are best regulated by the presenter. He can also monitor the order of pronounced sounds, i.e. show which of the children should make their sound and when. Children of the second group hide in different places in the room, listen carefully and try to reproduce as accurately as possible everything they heard. If Echo works asynchronously, i.e. does not reproduce sounds simultaneously, this is not scary. It is important that it does not distort sounds and reproduces them accurately.

How to bring a dreamer back to earth

When moving away from activities, it is necessary to develop the child’s active imagination in external form and direct it to solving real creative problems. In addition, the child needs a sphere that will satiate his unsatisfied need for attention to himself. Both of these goals can be achieved simultaneously through activities related to art - say, classes in a drawing club

In this real creative activity, the child must immediately be provided with emotional reinforcement, attention, and a sense of success. If the child does not have any artistic abilities, then abstract painting classes can be recommended. After showing reproductions or, even better, paintings at an exhibition, after the child is convinced that abstract painting really exists and enjoys public recognition, he is invited to try to create something similar himself

Bright decorative drawings generally work well for children, and especially for children with a developed imagination (as when avoiding activities). “Masterpieces” should definitely be hung up to decorate the apartment and proudly shown to everyone who comes to the house. They are truly beautiful, and most importantly, there are no criteria for strict evaluation, much less for condemnation. Listening to such recommendations, parents and teachers often express concerns that with constant praise and increased attention to children’s successes, the child may develop “conceit” (increased demonstrativeness). In case of such doubts, the psychologist must once again emphasize that demonstrativeness is not a defect, but a personal trait, which, like any other personal trait, leads to positive or negative manifestations depending on the circumstances of the child’s life. This feature develops very early. Further, it can develop either naturally (if it meets the understanding of others) and then will not lead to “conceit” at all, but to adequate self-esteem and the ability to courageously overcome difficulties and failures, or unnaturally - in negativistic forms or in the form of avoiding activities that threaten failure . It is well known in psychology that driven inside, unrealized demonstrativeness can give rise to one of the serious mental illnesses - hysteria. Usually you should not tell parents about this, so as not to cause unnecessary fears in them, which could interfere with the normal upbringing of the child. However, for other parents - those who insist too stubbornly that “a girl should be modest” or that “praising children is harmful” - the consultant should also describe such an unfavorable scenario so that they understand what really threatens their child if they do not change their pedagogical views.

"Magic glasses"

An adult solemnly announces that he has magic glasses through which one can see only the good that is in a person, even what a person sometimes hides from everyone. “Now I’m going to try on these glasses... Oh, how beautiful, funny, smart you all are!” Approaching each child, the adult names one of his virtues (someone draws well, someone has a new doll, someone makes their bed well). “Now let each of you try on glasses, look at others and try to see as much good as possible in everyone. Maybe even something I hadn’t noticed before.” Children take turns putting on magic glasses and naming the virtues of their comrades. If someone is at a loss, you can help him and suggest some virtue of his friend. Repetition is not a problem here, although if possible it is advisable to expand the range of good qualities.

Characteristic

A demonstrative personality is revealed by the desire to put oneself on display

1. Reminds me of a child with high self-esteem.
2. The world sees it as positive and does not feel any threats.
3. Such a person does not see any obstacles in his path.
4. He is not bothered by past mistakes. He may repeatedly commit the same wrong actions.
5. There is no feeling of anxiety.
6. Infantility often occurs.
7. Such people can be lazy.
8. Manipulative abilities and impulsiveness are not excluded.
9. There is no feeling of guilt.
10. The most positive traits of such people are their artistic abilities, the ability to quickly adapt and balance relationships.

In the professional field

It is extremely important for such a person to attract the attention of colleagues

If we consider the professional behavioral level, then the following characteristics are characteristic:

subtle sensitivity of the inner mood of people, a sense of the collective; careerist aspirations and snobbery; ability to adapt; the ability to arouse sympathy; attempts to shield oneself; dishonesty of nature, its duality; lack of self-criticism; direct behavior; artistry;

vanity; the desire to always be in the center, to concentrate attention on oneself; lack of planning; momentary behavior; a self-pitying attitude is an attempt to justify oneself.

Such a person may often have the feeling that he is being treated unfairly and is being undeservedly punished.

Characteristic signs in children

1. A demonstrative child often lies, not realizing that he is a liar.
2. Toddlers who slander someone or gossip are always representatives of the demonstrative type.
3. Such a child has the ability to quickly adapt and adapt to other people. The baby will quickly find friends.
4. The little one will be courteous if it benefits him.
5. At school, such a child begins to tell stories that he himself composed. He fantasizes a lot, and his peers don’t always like this.

Now you know what a demonstrative type of individual behavior is. As you can see, this personality type has many disadvantages. He doesn't make life as difficult for himself as for those around him. The desire to be on top, to always be in the center of attention, to get what you want with the help of cunning can interfere with the existence of friendly and personal relationships, and the creation of a family.

"Bragging Competition"

An adult invites the children to hold a braggart competition. “The one who boasts the best wins. We will not brag about ourselves, but about our neighbor. It's so nice to have the best neighbor! Look closely at the person sitting to your right. Think about what he’s like, what’s good about him, what he can do, what good deeds he’s done, what you might like about him. Don't forget that this is a competition. The winner will be the one who boasts better about his neighbor, who finds more merit in him.”

After such an introduction, the children in a circle name the advantages of their neighbor and brag about his merits. In this case, the objectivity of the assessment is not at all important - whether these advantages are real or invented. The “scale” of these advantages is also not important - it can be a loud voice, a neat hairstyle, and long (or short) hair. The main thing is that children notice these characteristics of their peers and are able not only to positively evaluate them, but also to brag about them to their peers. The winner is chosen by the children themselves, but if necessary, an adult can express their opinion. To make the victory more meaningful and desirable, you can reward the winner with some small prize (a paper medal for “Best Braggart” or a badge). Such a prize arouses even the most selfish child’s interest in his peer and the desire to find as many merits in him as possible.

How to deal with a “negativist”

Recommendations for dealing with negative self-image are simple, although they are not always easy to follow.

The main principle is a clear distribution and regulation of attention to the child according to the formula: attention is paid to him not when he is bad, but when he is good. The main thing here is to notice the child precisely in those moments when he is unnoticed, when he does not make a scandal and does not try to attract attention to himself with hooligan antics

If such antics begin, then any comments should be kept to a minimum. It is especially important that adults give up strong emotional reactions, because this is what the child seeks. An active emotional attitude towards the antics of a demonstrative “negativist” is actually not punishment, but encouragement

If they shout at him and stamp on him, he will regard this as his great achievement. If the offense is so serious that it is impossible to ignore it, then the punishment should be extremely unemotional. For example, if a child wants to watch TV, turn it off, take out the cord and hide it, saying only: “You won’t watch TV until tomorrow,” and then ignore all the shouts that he will “make you give up the cord,” “break it and will throw away the TV”, etc. It can be very difficult to satisfy a child with a negative self-presentation's insatiable need for attention. It is necessary to find an area in which he can realize his demonstrativeness. In this case, theater classes are especially suitable. A child with a negative self-presentation always plays some role - so we need to let him play it not in life, but on stage. There is no need to take special care of its success. He will almost certainly be able to achieve success on stage without any help: acting is his element.

"The Connecting Thread"

Children sit in a circle, passing a ball of thread to each other so that everyone who was already holding the ball takes up the thread. The passing of the ball is accompanied by statements about what the children would like to wish to others. The adult starts, thereby setting an example. He then turns to the children, asking if they want to say anything. When the ball returns to the leader, the children, at the request of the adult, pull the thread and close their eyes, imagining that they form one whole, that each of them is important and significant in this whole.

"Princess Nesmeyana"

An adult tells a fairy tale about Princess Nesmeyana and offers to play the same game. One of the children will be a princess who is sad and cries all the time. The children take turns approaching Princess Nesmeyane and trying to console her and make her laugh. The princess will try her best not to laugh. The one who can make the princess smile wins. Then the children change roles.

Such games promote the formation of community with others and the opportunity to see friends and partners in peers. When a child feels the joy of common play, of what we do together, when he shares this joy with others, his proud self will most likely stop demanding praise and admiration. A sense of community and interest in others are the foundation on which only full communication between people and normal human relationships can be built.

Negative self-presentation

With this development option, the child uses violations of the rules of behavior to attract the attention of others. He portrays the “terrible child” because he is sure that in no other way would he be able to stand out and become noticeable

Adults support this idea with their behavior: they scold the naughty man and lecture him while he is misbehaving, and forget about him with relief when he stops his outrages for a short time.

Paradoxically, those forms of treatment that adults use to punish turn out to be rewards for the child. The only true punishment is deprivation of attention. Any emotional manifestations of an adult are perceived by the child as an unconditional value, regardless of whether they appear in a positive form (praise, approval, smile) or in a negative form (remarks, punishment, shouting, swearing). It is more difficult to achieve a positive reaction than a negative one - and the child chooses the simplest path.