When a relationship has outlived its usefulness, it has no future and has become a painful burden, the question arises of how to end it without causing severe pain to yourself and the man.
Some women decide not to answer phone calls and ignore SMS, others find the strength to have a long conversation, and painfully explain to the man they once loved that the time has come to leave.
It is unknown who in this case is more difficult - the one with whom the relationship is broken or the one who decides to take this difficult step.
How to break up with someone who loves you
So, you are the initiator of the breakup. The decision to break off a relationship with the person who loves you is not easy in itself, and you can hardly expect understanding from the other side. Your partner won't understand you. You feel guilty and don’t know what to do in such a situation. However, if you do not love a man, and the relationship cannot be called ideal, doubts are unnecessary. Staying in a relationship only out of fear of hurting your partner is definitely unnecessary. Don't waste your time or his. Relationships that are based on pity are humiliating for both women and men. Often, representatives of the fair sex delay separation because of their compassion for an unloved person. It may also be a reluctance to feel guilty and a fear of being alone. You may be afraid that you won't meet someone you can love and who will love you.
It will be difficult for the other half to believe that the relationship is coming to an end. A man's husband can send numerous messages, call all the time and convince him that it is not worth leaving. Manipulations with tears and blackmail are also possible. This is all done in order to make the partner feel guilty. There are men who threaten to commit suicide or even demonstrably commit it. It's about emotional pressure. It is important to remain firm and not fall for such techniques.
Your words and actions must be extremely careful. You should not entertain a person with easy hopes. When meeting him, try to act in a friendly manner, but make it clear that there are no more feelings. If possible, you should try to communicate with your ex-partner as little as possible. This will be quite difficult for couples who have common children. However, the relationship should be respectful but neutral. It's best not to flirt with your ex or try to remain friends with him. The latter may work, but switching to friendships immediately after a breakup is not a good idea.
How to break up if he still has feelings for you
Typically, this question arises from the initiator of a divorce or termination of communication. Regardless of whether it is a lover or a legal spouse, or perhaps a temporary lover for whom you yourself did not have any special feelings, you still need to gently prepare your other half for the conversation, and not immediately begin decisive action.
The main problem for the initiator is the lack of understanding of the other party. No, don’t expect a loving guy to say “Yes, everything is fine, I think so too,” he will talk about the amazing time we spent together, try to win you back.
The main rule is that there is no doubt. It is necessary to decide everything for yourself in advance and finally and then not retreat back. The second recommendation is don’t feel guilty. It’s not your fault that you didn’t succeed in developing an ideal relationship, and you don’t have to suffer and be burdened by communicating with an unloved person.
The main reasons that delay the breakup are:
- Compassion and pity - strong love cannot be built on these feelings.
- Guilt.
- Fear for your own future. Many people think that having lost this partner, she will not find another suitable one, which is completely wrong.
All these impulses and thoughts must be overcome.
Parting with a beloved man
It’s worth noting right away that you won’t be able to forget the person you love quickly. In psychology, separation is compared to a small death. There are a number of reasons why the person you love cannot be with you. The most tragic situation is when he is no longer alive. In addition, these could be your and his mistakes, too fast a development of events in which no one really understood what happened.
A situation in which feelings still remain is much more complicated than one in which they clearly no longer exist. You will hesitate and doubt. This is normal, because this is your loved one. It is recommended that you think things through carefully. If you love him, but understand that there are no feelings on his part, you should make a final decision.
Signs of destructive (neurotic) and normal relationships
In a normal relationship there is neither a victim nor a manipulator. A partner who loves you will not use you for his own purposes. The manipulator directly needs your tension, your attention, your experiences, your concentration on him. Love is not a game, don’t let anyone play with you and your feelings.
You might be wondering: what difference does it make how you throw? We have zero in common and will never see each other again. No matter what they say to each other at the end, nothing will change.
BUT before you burn bridges...
Features of correct behavior
If you have thoughts about breaking up, try going somewhere first. In practice, it often happens that the woman herself is not ready to leave. She needs to be alone with herself, in particular, to be without a partner. A very important point - during this period you should not even maintain friendly relations with him. Try to avoid talking on the phone, meetings and correspondence. This will be a waste of time on something that has not yet cooled down. Wait at least a couple of months, and then you will need to meet and talk.
How to break up with a man? How to break up correctly?
Make sure it's over
Very often people run away from a relationship after the first fight. But in fact, many simply do not understand how to behave in life together.
If you are accustomed to beggars and conquerors, then the behavior of a normal man will be incomprehensible to you. Because he:
- will not meticulously pursue;
- he doesn’t have time for endless courtship;
- he is bothered by the behavior of the woman-mother;
- he talks less and does more.
It’s easier with carers and beggars. They are soft, guess the mood and adapt to it, and most importantly, they love to run after a woman with a bouquet and a teddy bear.
And in 5-10 years you will provide for your family and wonder why Irka gets a fur coat and you get tights.
If the relationship clearly cannot be restored, the scenario is different.
How to talk to a man correctly
It is recommended to ask for forgiveness, say thank you and say goodbye to a woman not over the phone, but in person, in person. You can express what does not suit you, share with your partner what you have realized. If you talk after a certain time, and you can talk on any topic, it means that the binding that we mentioned is gradually weakening. However, if you feel pain during the conversation, this indicates that the addiction still exists, and the possibility of reconciliation exists.
How to behave during a breakup?
