How to understand that a man really loves you? A psychologist’s opinion on this topic cannot be unambiguous, because all people are different and express their feelings in their own way.
Everyone has special characteristics, as well as circumstances in which the interpretation of certain behavioral changes can be truly twofold. On the other hand, there are certain nuances that answer the common women’s question “How to understand whether a man loves you or not?”
Psychology of male feelings and attachments
The psychology of boys and girls are two concepts that cannot be woven together. To understand the male gender, you need to understand in detail how men love, what priorities they set for themselves and what they need.
Men like romantic adventures that add variety to life, and emotional warmth. When you ask a guy what qualities attract him in a woman, he can cheat 90%. If you hear from your partner that he is attracted to your inner world, intelligence or economics, do not believe him. Male psychology forces you to initially pay attention to appearance, and only after that look deeper, studying behavior and attitude.
READ The influence of sign language on communication between people
A loving man will put his chosen one first, devote more time to her, take care of her, and give her gifts. If a young man says that his wife should be a good lover, then he is not looking for a permanent relationship.
And I keep looking, I don’t take my eyes off.
It's simple: the man doesn't take his eyes off you. Your appearance simply attracts his gaze, and he cannot do anything about it.
He doesn't notice other women. They don't exist for him. If Angelina Jolie and Sharon Stone walked past him now, he wouldn’t even glance at them.
There is admiration and delight in his eyes. Do you know what this is? These are the feelings that accompany love. And they protect it, like an airbag in a car protects the driver. Having caught such a gaze directed at you, you, of course, will understand that this is love.
Take the test: Does he love me?
He hides his feelings
When a man sincerely loves his woman, he wants to satisfy not only her psychological needs. Financial security for the family is what every person strives for.
The psychology of men is different from that of women: if he truly loves, this can be seen in the way he behaves with his chosen one. Caring is manifested in a good attitude, financial support, gifts, flowers. Sometimes guys hide their feelings due to uncertainty about the future, but show them through good attitude and behavior.
Not everyone knows how to understand whether a man loves you or whether this is just another respectful attitude, unjustified concern. A loving husband can be recognized by his eyes, because they will not allow you to hide your feelings.
Let's look at the reasons why men who love do not want to show their feelings:
- unstable financial situation;
- fear of serious relationships;
- diffidence;
- lack of confidence in your partner;
- childhood psychological trauma;
- fear of love and affection.
The psychology of each guy is individual, if some can easily talk about feelings, invite girls on dates, spend time with them, then others will wait for the woman they need.
READ Subjective opinion as a philosophical concept
Guys also know how to get upset and worry about actions and behavior. But the problem is that only a few can show feelings or experiences. This distinguishes the male part of the population from the female part.
Men may hide their feelings when they are not confident that they will provide for a woman, give her a future, have children and provide everything she needs. Fear suppresses emotions, forcing you to hide everything that has accumulated over time. Not everyone knows how to determine whether a man loves or how serious his feelings are. It takes time to figure it out; give your partner the first opportunity to understand that you need to talk about feelings without waiting for your financial situation to improve.
Are his intentions serious?
Let’s say that all the signs of a man’s love are “present,” but this is far from the main thing. Falling in love can either turn into a short-term infatuation, or develop into a strong, serious feeling. In addition, there is a type of men who very quickly lose interest in their passion after she reciprocates. So why not respond to his feelings? This should not be done under any circumstances, because a man may feel rejected and quickly disappear from the life of his chosen one, even if his intentions were the most serious. But one must also reciprocate “without fanaticism,” so that the initiative is always in his hands.
And the seriousness of a man’s intentions is not at all difficult to determine; simple logic and observation will help with this. To begin with, it is worth soberly analyzing his psychological readiness for a serious relationship. Take a closer look at him, his lifestyle, his friends. Perhaps he hasn’t had his fill yet, or is collecting girls his hobby? It is better to run away from such a suitor as quickly as possible, before warm feelings, pity, or a desire to “save” him or fundamentally achieve him arise (the latter most often fails, and if it does, it makes both of them unhappy).
What if a man uses
Wanting a serious relationship, women become naive and fall headlong into love to fill the void. Not everyone knows how to understand in such a situation whether a man loves you or is just having a good time for pleasure.
You need to be able to recognize gigolos and those who only need sexual intimacy for a certain time. If your partner is interested in sex and does not have serious feelings, then he will spend time with you only in the evenings, invite you to a hotel or home, and appear less in public places.
READ Communication barriers: types of barriers and ways to get rid of them
There are people who are constantly looking for a new victim to spend the evening and satisfy their sexual fantasies. In such a situation, how to find out whether a man loves you or just needs your body is quite simple. If during intimacy he shows tenderness, care, puts your desires in the foreground, and after intimacy immediately runs away, then he does not love.
There are categories of people who agree to relationships only for material gain; they are called gigolos. Many people don’t know how to understand that a guy loves you and he needs you, not money. Here you should only look at your partner’s behavior, his attitude towards material wealth and towards you.
I remember a wonderful moment.
A guy or man remembers everything connected with you. And he will quote your words and phrases verbatim, and with the intonation with which they were spoken. He remembers all your meetings with him, from the first minute to the last second, not to mention the first kiss. And all your actions are imprinted in his memory forever.
He subtly senses your mood. And he will always read in your eyes a desire that he will immediately rush to fulfill.
It’s impossible that he won’t notice your new dress or shoes. There's no point in talking about the hairstyle. Moreover, even the new polish on your nails will not go unnoticed. What does it mean? Only one thing: you are loved by this person. And what kind of a man would make a husband? Dream!
How to distinguish true feelings from easy relationships
Psychologists show how to understand that a man really loves you by paying attention to his actions and attitude; their opinion must be taken into account. Not all men can show real feelings, even if this is actually the case. Many people hide their relationship because of uncertainty; they cannot imagine how a girl will react to their words or actions. But easy relationships are also common; they make many people think about what they need to understand where the truth is and where there is deception when a guy says he loves him.
Actions
Signs that a man really loves must be looked for in his actions. All your partner’s actions will be directed only at you, they are manifested in attention, care, involvement, and a sense of obligation to you. If a partner says that he likes you, he is ready for a serious relationship, but at the same time does not give flowers, gifts, does not invite you to a restaurant for a meeting, such a man is insincere.
READ Ways to respond to an insult: from ignoring to rudeness
Let's see what signs of attention a man shows if he loves a woman:
- shows attention with flowers and gifts;
- keeps his word;
- wants to see each other more often;
- tries to support and understand in everything;
- protects;
- solves your problems;
- does not limit anything.
Such actions by a partner suggest that his feelings are serious and there is no need to look for another catch in them.
Not all men are so sincere; some may do things for the sake of profit. In order not to find yourself in an unpleasant situation, try to quickly study the psychology and desires of your partner, and also make sure that his feelings are sincere and all actions are justified. But if you are a successful and influential woman, and he cannot boast of such achievements, think carefully before letting your chosen one into your life.
Nonverbal signs
Non-verbal speech does not show the exact truth when a man says he loves, but it can guide him in the right direction and consider a lot in his partner. If emotions and behavior can be hidden or allowed to play along in this regard, then in the case of non-verbal signs of love or sympathy, everything is much more complicated.
READ A man says he misses him: what does that mean?
Only body language can answer the question of how to understand whether a man loves or not, if he personally does not talk about his feelings. Let's consider the main signs that can confirm sympathy:
- watching the girl you like while in company;
- dilation of pupils upon eye contact;
- sincere smile;
- When speaking, your hands are near your waist and not crossed over your chest;
- the desire to touch the girl or hug her.
These are a few signs that a man may really love you or has sympathy, which doesn’t need to be talked about.
Talk
When communicating with a man for whom you feel sympathy, many are interested in how to find out what a guy likes, what to pay attention to in a conversation, what words he should say. It is not necessary to hear from him: “I love you,” “I want children from you,” “Let’s always be together.” These words can be spoken more insincerely, without fully realizing the seriousness of what is happening.
Most guys find it easier to show their feelings than to talk about them. From the conversation you can understand the real attitude towards yourself, so here it is worth paying attention to the manner of communication.
Psychologists advise when talking with a caring person to pay attention to the following points that indicate the presence of sympathy, infatuation or love:
- all conversations are sincere, without a mask;
- the man actively listens to stories about you;
- he does not translate the topic, even if it is of little interest to him;
- respect is always shown in the conversation, he does not interrupt the interlocutor;
- is interested in your life and hobbies, listens more;
- sincerely answers questions that are appropriate during the meeting.
Based on the conversation, you can draw many conclusions, find out about the seriousness of the interlocutor’s intentions, and answer many questions. The main thing is not to try to fully study your partner in several meetings; this will require more than one life.
Correspondence
Virtual communication is gaining popularity today, so it’s worth finding out how to understand that a guy loves you or feels sympathy for you by correspondence if you have not yet met in life.
The first sign of sympathy is the frequency of messages and the time spent on it. If a man cares about you, he will spend a long time with you, be interested in your life, and start conversations on any topic.
A guy in love will only use a pleasant manner of communication, emoticons, and send funny pictures to interest you. If you find it easy to communicate with a person by correspondence, then he quickly puts you at ease, communicates with you with interest, and he likes you. If on his part everything is less serious, and you continue virtual communication, then there are no feelings in his heart.
Rapid stage of relationship development
A serious young man will show all his attention to a girl, trying to win her heart as quickly as possible. We are not talking about sexual intimacy and intimate evenings, but just about creating a family or living together.
If a partner is not serious, he will not even talk about building a strong relationship, waking up together every day, and being responsible for his beloved.
A man who shows feelings can be seen with the naked eye. He tries to spend all his time with his beloved, and not just free evenings. Friends, work, hobbies - all this will gradually fade into the background, the guy will devote more time to you, look for common goals and interests. After a year of a strong and stable relationship, a confident man proposes to a woman. If a civil marriage drags on for a long time, without showing any changes after two or three years of marriage, such a partner is also not serious. He is simply satisfied with his current situation, constant care and stable sex life.
READ The influence of sign language on communication between people
How to understand that a man only needs intimacy
When starting a conversation, girls may ask themselves how to find out if a guy loves you or just dreams of being in your bed. If a man is interested in you, he will spend quite a lot of time with you in company, go for walks, ask you out on dates, invite you to restaurants. You can feel the warmth and positive attitude towards you only by communication.
If your partner is serious, he will never tell you on the first or second date that he wants to get closer. Only those who need exclusively sexual intercourse do this, and they don’t even think about the future.
If a man on the first date behaves openly arrogantly, tries to touch your knees or face, tightly squeezes your shoulders, be sure that after intimacy you will not see him again. There is no need to allow such an attitude towards yourself even if the desire is mutual. Wait a few dates: if after them you are confident in your partner’s sincerity, then you can move on to a more serious level of communication.
What kind of women want to know if men truly love them?4
According to psychologists, women most often ask such questions in the following situations:
- Women with low self-esteem. If a woman does not consider herself attractive enough or worthy of her chosen one, then she will constantly worry about his feelings and attitude towards her.
You need to increase your self-esteem, first of all, for yourself, in order to change your worldview and stop depending on strangers. You need to improve until you get the feeling that the woman herself has become a different person.
- If a woman realizes that her actions, actions and attitude towards her chosen one can undermine his love for her.
This behavior is typical of those ladies who like to rush from one extreme to another. Moreover, both extremes have completely opposite behavior patterns.
First model:
- ladies who exaggerate their own femininity and consider themselves practically celestials;
- selfish people who sincerely believe that the whole world revolves around them according to their wishes;
- hysterics, ready to make a scandal even out of nowhere.
Second model:
- women who believe that each gender has its own specific purpose.
- female creatures who do not have their own opinions and are ready to agree with others on everything.
- naive girls who look at their chosen one with wide eyes and consider him the standard of a man and the meaning of their existence.
If a woman has any of the listed signs, then she needs to change so that her personal life changes along with her.
Signs that a man needs you
Although men try to hide their feelings, sometimes they fail to do so. If you really want to, you can consider 10 signs and actions that show that a man loves you:
- Manifestation of jealousy.
- He is the first to make an appointment and comes to the date with flowers or a gift.
- Calls for no reason.
- Tries to learn as much as possible about your interests in order to understand in the future what to focus on when dating.
- Shows attention, talks with interest, does not interrupt.
- Takes care of himself.
- Wants to meet your friends and family. He also shows a desire to introduce you to his social circle.
- Doesn't hide his phone, answers calls without leaving your side.
- He always tries to please you with something, gives you your favorite flowers, invites you to your favorite restaurant.
- Listens to the words.
These are the main signs that answer the question of how to understand that he loves you and has a desire to continue dating in the future.
If all this is absent in communication, a man is selfish, puts only his own interests first, then there is no point in talking about the seriousness of his feelings. The relationship will not go beyond temporary meetings.
Tell me about yourself.
He bombards you with questions. Everything that concerns you is terribly interesting to him. Where were you born? Do you have brothers and sisters? What do you love and what can't you stand?
He wants to know your thoughts. Your intentions. He expects you to be as open with him as he was just with you.
He is interested in your personal life. He wants to know everything about you. Why, you ask? And he really likes you. And even more. However, you already understand this.
Take the test: Does he like me?
How to test men's feelings
When a man is hidden and shy, it is very difficult to understand how to determine what he truly loves, and his relationship is not short-term.
Psychologists have prepared several test options that will help you understand this issue:
- Romantic impulses, dinner by candlelight, rose petals and more - girls really like it all. If a lover arranges such evenings from time to time, he loves and strives to do something pleasant.
- Supporting the girl’s initiative sincerely shows that he cares about her. Men, having no interest in their partner, will rarely follow her lead and live by her rules.
- A loving guy will always kiss a girl on the lips and not the cheek, no matter what atmosphere they are in.
- In the event of a cold or other illness, a man surrounds a woman with due attention, taking care of her twice as much as on ordinary days.
- If a man loves, he will do everything to make his woman happy, successful and cheerful.
All men are different, so their psychology is also different. Someone may show discomfort in communication in the presence of strangers, and only express all their feelings in a home environment. But this does not mean at all that your loved one does not take you seriously and is embarrassed not by his feelings, but by you.
Triangle of Doubt
Another quite common situation is a love triangle. Because of his polygamy, a man can really be in love with not one, but several women. Of course, this cannot be called a real feeling. In this case, the question needs to be posed bluntly. Believe me, if you directly, looking into the eyes, ask, “Do you love me?”, “Do you have someone else,” then he should also directly answer “Yes” or “No!” As soon as he starts to dodge and fuss, something is wrong, doubts should arise about his feelings. Demand that he make a choice, otherwise, look, how well he has settled down! If he really sincerely loves you and is afraid of losing you, he will break off relations with the other and will belong completely only to you.
So, we have completed a short training course on “revealing” the secrets of a man, namely, his sincerity towards you. Apply these methods and don't be shy. Of course, those who are afraid of hearing no and identifying lies in their gentleman’s habits need to save their nerves and not follow our recommendations. But look at your life from the outside, try to sneak a peek at the future. Well? You like the prospect of your existence next to someone who does not love you and will never appreciate you. This way you can waste time and lose a meeting that will change your life for the better. Remember the phrase from the movie “It’s so good that you left me. Then I would have missed out on life with a person dear and beloved to me. So thank you for doing that then!” Think for yourself...
Advice from psychologists
You should not judge men according to standard rules, because each person is individual and it is impossible to recognize everyone based on general psychology. Psychologists do not recommend thinking about whether he loves you or not. Confident girls will never ask such a question or look for this or that trick in relation to him.
When you doubt that your husband or boyfriend loves you, you should first understand yourself. If your partner shows a lot of attention, is constantly nearby, gives gifts, makes surprises, and you continue to doubt something, the matter is in your psychology. Unfortunately, women’s low self-esteem pushes them to such thoughts, forcing them to look for a catch in any action and search for a rival.
To increase self-esteem and not doubt a man’s love, you should:
- Take care of yourself.
- If necessary, visit a psychologist and determine the source of the decrease in self-esteem.
- Don’t show a man that you see something wrong.
- Be confident in your words and actions.
- Choose a social circle that will increase your self-confidence.
If there is a strong woman next to a man who is not afraid of losing him, then this will not happen. Remember that thoughts are material! When a person and his love are dear to you, think only about a bright future.
What questions to ask a man to understand his intentions?
You need to ask questions during the “candy-bouquet” period. Why at this time? Because in most cases, it is during this period that there is maximum openness between a man and a woman. Greater honesty and openness. If you start at stage 1 of the relationship, it will be too early and perhaps the man will not answer correctly. If you ask at the end of a relationship, when everything is already falling apart, then they will not help to resume everything and improve the situation.
The important thing is that this is not just a set of questions to be asked within half an hour. It’s just that a woman, before choosing a man, needs to find out the answers to these questions. But you don’t even have to ask him yourself if you are a good judge of people.
Question 1. Ask everything about the man’s past, regarding his childhood. For example, you could ask, “Are you more like your mom or your dad?” “How is it similar?” During the answer, you will already understand what kind of relationship he had with his parents. All grievances and problems with them will sooner or later affect your relationship.
Question 2. How does a man feel about money? For example, “What would you like to do if you had a billion dollars?” “How much do you want to earn and in what way?” “Do you think it’s possible to make a big leap in a year and start earning a lot?” In addition, it is important to understand how he relates to big money, to deputies, to the president, or whether he does not believe in it at all, he believes that such money can only be stolen.
Question 3. Everything that concerns the relationship between a man and a woman, their roles and functions. For example, “How do you see an ideal family?” “What is important to you in a relationship?” “What is something you will never tolerate or forgive a woman for?” “How do you feel about raising children?” These questions will help even a layman understand a lot about a person. If this does not happen, then most likely you simply do not understand yourself, you do not know the answers to these questions for yourself, what answers you will like for a happy life.
You can get a list of questions from Nadezhda by following the link: https://goo.gl/XTMZhJ
In love, but hiding: how to bring a man to clean water
Sometimes circumstances develop in such a way that a man cannot or does not want to “shoot” himself out of the blue. Usually married people cannot. Colleagues who are concerned about their reputation don’t want to. Or the cautious ones, who “having been burned by milk, blow on the water.”
You can open up such a hidden man and ask him the right questions. The code word is intuition. And there are signs with which it is easy to understand whether a man is in love, without a “third eye” - by his gaze , by his gestures and by his manners .
- Nervous. Just recently he was confident and neat. And now it’s hard to get into the keyhole. Drops dishes. It overflows. Not a guy, but a bull in a china shop. And all this devilry happens in your presence. Coincidence? No.
- Touches. The guy takes every opportunity to touch you. Literally blows away specks of dust. Or removes eyelashes. Or he feels the fabric of your blouse. In general, he opens his hands, but under cover.
- "Improving." Suddenly I started playing sports. Quit smoking. Got a couple of new suits. I went to the barbershop. Signed up for Chinese courses. Yes, what doesn’t come into the head of a man in love who wants to loosen his tail and boast.
- Non-verbal is rushing. And, as usual, there is body language that betrays what they want to silence. The guy turns in your direction, even if only with the toe of his shoe. Pretends. Preening. Looks intently or stealthily. Maybe not in love, but definitely not indifferent.