Psychology
- External reasons
- Human behavior
- How to connect with people
It happens that a person cannot find friends and a social circle due to the fact that they do not want to communicate with him. A person can be friendly and non-confrontational, but communicating with people is difficult for him. There are external and internal factors that may cause other people to avoid communication. You can correct this situation and win over those around you if you understand the reason for such hostility.
External reasons
People may not want to interact with a person because of reasons related to his appearance - for example, if the person smells bad . Often you may not realize it yourself, but those around you will avoid such a person. Smell, according to psychologists, plays an important role in the communication process. Polite people will never directly talk about an unpleasant smell, so a person needs to understand it himself. If a person knows that he sweats a lot, then he needs to take care of his hygiene. The same applies to the smell of garlic and onions.
Paradoxically, even pleasant smells can repel.
If you are used to using long-lasting, rich perfume, then know: not everyone can tolerate strong aromas, especially in the heat
If you have problems with communication, you need to take care of your appearance. This does not mean that you need to regularly visit a beauty salon or wear only the most fashionable clothes. This applies to basic hygiene rules : clean hair, fresh and ironed clothes, neat nails, clean shoes.
If they don't want to communicate with you, pay attention to your appearance
Motivational intervention - what is it?
When talking about motivational intervention, doctors at drug treatment clinics mean psychological assistance provided to intractable alcohol addicts and their relatives. The doctor comes to the patient’s home and persuades him to start therapy. He does this competently, using progressive suggestion techniques.
The specialist helps the drinker realize the seriousness of the disease and forms in him a stable desire to code. Work on this program can start without the knowledge of the patient. Relatives should simply call a private drug treatment center and invite a psychologist to the alcohol addict’s home.
Human behavior
If everything is in order with his appearance, the person is well-groomed and neat, but those around him still avoid him, then the reason may be in his behavior.
For example, inappropriate jokes . A sense of humor is always good, but jokes must be funny and timely. People around, afraid of offending a person, may not tell him about his inappropriate humor, and will simply stop communicating with him. If you like to joke, then think about whether others like your jokes? Humor should not be vulgar, offensive, obscene, or affect the appearance and personal qualities of people. If you don’t know a person well, then it is better to avoid jokes when communicating with him.
People can be put off when a person talks about themselves too much . If a person constantly talks only about himself, then others may perceive him as an egoist.
Communication ethics allows you to talk about yourself, but only when asked about it
You should not tell others too personal or even intimate information about yourself, as this can cause embarrassment.
When communicating, avoid making inappropriate jokes and talking a lot about yourself
What else could turn others off?
- Imposing your opinion . Every person has the right to express their point of view, but it cannot be imposed. This is especially true for religion and politics - it is better not to touch on these topics in communication at all. In a dialogue, you should not discuss only those topics that are interesting to you: the issues being discussed may not be of interest to your interlocutor. Always try to talk about topics that are interesting to others.
- Discussing other people . Under no circumstances should you gossip or discuss other people behind their back. If a person is known as a gossip, then few people will want to communicate with him. You should not interfere in other people's affairs and give advice to others unless you are asked to do so.
- Inability to carry on a conversation . Not all people know how to clearly formulate their thoughts. The use of unnecessary words, excessive talkativeness, or, on the contrary, monosyllabic answers from which little can be understood can irritate your interlocutors.
Others are repulsed by the imposition of their opinions
Tragic events
It happens that strong shocks occur in our lives. The death of loved ones or relatives, betrayal of a loved one or separation from him, serious injuries and disabilities - all this affects the emotional state. Any incidents that can affect the way of life deprive you of strength and force you to give up.
Apathy and a feeling of helplessness fetter a person in all spheres of his life. To accept what happened and come to your senses, a lot of time must pass after experiencing grief.
How to connect with people
Follow the basic rules of communication: be welcoming, friendly, polite, smile at others. But you shouldn’t do this deliberately and feignedly, otherwise it will only scare away your interlocutors.
In communication, especially if these are not close friends and relatives, you should not go beyond personal boundaries
Do not enter into conflict, do not be rude or disrespectful to others - these are generally accepted principles of communication that everyone should follow at all times.
In any situation, remain polite and friendly
In a situation where others don’t want to communicate with you, you shouldn’t impose yourself too much on them, but you can take the initiative:
- Start a dialogue, trying to talk less about yourself and be more interested in the life of your interlocutor.
- Bring up topics that interest you both.
- Be brief and to the point, but avoid monosyllabic answers.
- There is no need to talk about your problems or complain - leave this for those closest to you.
If it is difficult for you to communicate with people, maintain a conversation, or you cannot cope with uncertainty, then read special literature that will teach you the techniques of competent communication - for example, these could be Dale Carnegie’s manuals.
Why you can’t forcefully treat
Narcologists often encounter a situation where relatives ask to sell them some kind of coded medicine. They want to secretly add it to the drinker so that he feels bad, gets scared and makes an independent decision not to drink anymore.
This scheme is not only ineffective, but also very dangerous. All products that cause intolerance to ethyl alcohol contain disulfiram. When combined with alcohol, this component becomes toxic. Consequently, drinking after taking medication can result in serious health problems.
An alcohol addict cannot be treated forcibly. You need to convince him and set him up for comprehensive treatment.
Which doctor should I contact?
This condition cannot be left to chance. To overcome apathy, you need to step over shame and shyness and turn to a specialist. You can consult a psychologist, a psychiatrist or a psychotherapist.
A psychologist has knowledge in this area and can give basic advice, but this specialist is not competent enough to make a diagnosis and prescribe medication. If the psychologist sees a problem, he refers the patient to a psychiatrist or psychotherapist. It is important to put aside all prejudices and stereotypes, because these specialists are visited not only by mentally ill people, but also by mentally healthy people. In addition, a psychiatrist can treat insomnia, various phobias, epilepsy and other diseases.
Ways to influence a woman
To correct the situation as quickly as possible, guys should know what exactly they need to tell a girl if she doesn’t want to communicate, and how to behave with her. In this case, psychologists recommend using proven methods that will help you get your lover back.
READ How to make peace with a friend: advice from psychologists and an action plan
Through friends
Silence and women are incompatible things. You can use this. If your chosen one refuses to communicate, you should talk to her friend. At the time of conversation, you need to talk about your feelings for your beloved and experiences. Here you need to be careful so that your friend does not guess the plan. In the end, she will explain why the girl no longer wants to communicate with you.
It is also recommended to focus on the seriousness of your intentions. With this gesture, the guy will make it clear that he can change for the sake of his beloved. To fully gain your friend’s trust, you can give her a compliment or thank her for the meeting. As a result, she will have a positive impression of the guy, and she will convey the essence of the conversation to her chosen one.
Risk
You need to stop seeking the favor of your beloved for a while and think about self-development. For example, you can play sports, find a new hobby, or get a well-paid job. Noticing these changes, the woman herself will take the initiative and begin communication. Deep down, she will regret what happened and be afraid of losing the young man.
But this method may not work. Women have different views, so their reactions cannot be predicted. Don’t be discouraged and upset if you couldn’t get it back.
Insidious way
This option is considered the most dangerous for relationships. To attract the attention of your beloved, you need to woo another woman. This could be a friend or acquaintance of the chosen one. It is best to choose a spectacular contender, of whom anyone will be jealous. Seeing a guy with someone else, a woman will want to get rid of her competitor.
As a result, they will become enemies, and the man will get his way. At the same time, the beloved will look at the young man differently. In her eyes, he will look more attractive, since other young ladies are interested in him.
Demonstration of changes
Having achieved its location, you need to show the changes. But you shouldn't talk about it directly. A woman must independently notice changes in her manner of speech, train of thought and appearance. During the conversation, you need to mention the work done. If she shows signs of attention, then there is a chance for a reunion. The main thing is to come to a compromise and forget old grievances.
Romantic actions and gifts
Many men try to improve relationships with romantic actions and gifts. For example, it could be a bouquet of your favorite flowers, a serenade under the window, or poetry. The list can go on forever.
Such actions always help to achieve a girl. At the same time, the young man will understand the real intentions of his beloved. To do this, you need to use gifts as bait. If the chosen one arrogantly accepts the gift, doing a favor, you need to say goodbye to her immediately. Such relationships have no future, since she is only interested in money and attention. She ignores and gets offended just so she can get gifts for it.
Breaking up is a difficult stage for both partners, but a love crisis will help the young man assess the situation. This is a great chance to reconsider your relationship with your chosen one and understand what feelings you have for her. If a woman ignores, it is necessary to understand the reasons for her behavior. This will help in the future to avoid mistakes and possible breakdown of new relationships.
Now every man knows how to understand that the girl he loves really doesn’t want to communicate, and also what provokes a woman’s ignorance. To improve your relationship with your beloved, you need to listen to the advice of psychologists.
