Compensation (psychology) – what is it, examples from life

Compensation in psychology is considered as one of the types of psychological protection. Every person has shortcomings and this is a fact. But some people know how to put up with them, and others include compensation. This process allows you to replace shortcomings and the feelings of inferiority they cause with something else. For example, short men buy big cars or build relationships with tall girls, thus trying to rise in their own eyes and in the eyes of others. Does it bring you a feeling of satisfaction? Does compensation really protect the psyche from psychological trauma and negative emotions?

Compensation - what is it?

In psychology, compensation is one of the methods of psychological defense in which a person replaces shortcomings with something. They come in three types:

1. Visible. These are the shortcomings that clearly catch your eye. These include: absence of limbs, various neoplasms on open parts of the body, scars, consequences of burns, etc. Most people form an opinion about themselves based on what society says. And if we take into account the fact that society is rarely tolerant and tactful, we can conclude that such people almost always live in a state of stress.
2. Invisible. Such disadvantages include disturbances in the functioning of internal organs, which negatively affect the functioning of the body as a whole and the psychological state.
3. Imaginary or fictitious. A person invents shortcomings for himself or they are the result of psychological trauma that happened in childhood. So, for example, someone considers himself very ugly, although in fact his appearance is no worse than that of the people around him.

Compensation is required for each of the listed types of deficiencies. It is interesting that it can be connected both with the deficiency itself and with the aspirations that replace it. In the first case, Paralympic athletes can be used as an example, and in the second, blind musicians, etc.

Alfred Adler was the first to talk about compensation mechanisms. According to him, compensation for inferiority is a normal phenomenon in the life of every person. Inferiority, as Adler believed, is of three types:

1. Physiological - absence of body parts, hearing, vision, etc.
2. Socio-cultural - these are age, gender, political and economic differences that can make you feel inferior.
3. The original one is biological inferiority, which throughout the history of mankind has encouraged people to develop science, technology, art and other areas.

Sigmund Freud did not agree with Adler's words. He said that inferiority does not always deprive a person of a happy life. As an example, he cited people who, even in the absence of any parts of the body, or, for example, vision, did not lose self-confidence, did not feel discriminated against or offended by fate. Freud believed that it is easier to find someone who is prone to narcissism than those who consider themselves inferior people.

Trying to object, Adler argued that the inferiority complex is only an idea that can explain the psychological processes occurring in the body. There is no need to talk about actual usefulness here, because it is relative. For each individual, nation and culture, the concept of a full-fledged personality may change.

In fact, inferiority is a so-called motivator that prompts us to action and activates the compensation process.

Definition of the concept of “defense mechanism”

Definition 1
The term “defense mechanism” is understood as a psychological process whose purpose is to reduce anxiety, worries, and tension so that a person can be in balance with himself and the people around him.

This process is unconscious. This concept first appeared in the works of the famous Austrian psychologist, psychotherapist and psychiatrist S. Freud in 1894, in one of his works devoted to the origin of neuropsychoses.

As a result of the interaction of the individual and social elements, a conflict between the individual and external circumstances may arise. This conflict manifests itself in the form of tension, anxiety, and restlessness. In such situations, in order to cope with this conflict and keep the person’s psyche in a normal state, a protective psychological mechanism is activated. Classification of psychological defense mechanisms of the individual. To date, there is no unified classification of psychological defense mechanisms of the individual. But basically, defense mechanisms are divided into two main groups:

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1. Projective;
2. Definitive.

The purpose of projective defense mechanisms is to convey the necessary information to a person’s consciousness. This group usually includes projection, denial, identification, etc. Definitive mechanisms, in turn, try to distort information. This group includes sublimation, rationalization, regression, etc.

There are a wide variety of types of psychological defense mechanisms, these include:

• sublimation;
• negation;
• crowding out;
• substitution;
• rationalization;
• projection;
• somatization;
• reactive formation;
• regression;
• intellectualization;
• insulation;
• fixation;
• compensation;
• response.

Kinds

Compensation can be direct or indirect. The first involves trying to become successful in precisely the area that is directly related to the deficiency. The second speaks of the desire to achieve success in a different direction.

In psychology, there are also these types of compensation:

• real;
• over or overcompensation;
• pseudo-compensation.

Let's look at each of them in more detail.

Real

What is real compensation in psychology? This is the ability to adapt to new living conditions. It concerns those people who previously considered themselves inferior, but then were able to cope with their shortcomings and now lead a normal life.

Alfred Adler identified a number of conditions necessary to activate compensation of this type:

• desire to achieve superiority;
• desire to gain power;
• perseverance and willpower;
• interest in what is happening around.

Adler was sure that this type of compensation occurs in almost all people who, to one degree or another, are faced with an inferiority complex.

Overcompensation

It represents increased attention to an underdeveloped ability or weak part of the body, and their enhanced development. This also includes working with other organs and abilities whose training will help you achieve success.

So, for example, a person who has difficulties communicating with people around him can, as compensation, delve deeper into the study of languages ​​or some sciences. In this way he will replace his deficiency and become a genius.

Pseudocompensation

In the case of this type, compensation occurs not due to the fact that a person directs efforts towards his own development, but through the manipulation of other people.

The reasons for the occurrence of pseudo-compensation were named by Adler:

1. Physical disabilities that negatively affect health or provoke constant psychological stress.
2. Overprotection, excessive care, forgiveness of absolutely all shortcomings and misdeeds, leading to the development of selfishness, capriciousness, and intolerance.
3. Lack of love, lack of communication with family and friends, lack of opportunity to talk openly with someone. All this leads to the fact that a person can no longer trust others and loses the ability to be a friend and love.

There are several ways in which pseudocompensation can manifest itself:

1. Complete withdrawal from illness. A person uses his condition to manipulate others. This happens even in cases where the disease does not have any serious consequences. Always and everywhere he expects indulgences, presses on the feeling of pity, asserts himself at the expense of others, and also uses them to achieve his own goals.
2. Withdrawal into weakness. Here a person tries on the role of a victim, becoming weak and helpless. He draws extremely bad scenarios for himself, kills ambitions in the bud, and does not set goals. But that’s not even the worst thing. The point is that he does it consciously.
3. Superiority. The exact opposite of inferiority. Trying to get away from an unpleasant feeling, a person does everything to become indispensable, better than everyone else.
4. Laziness. An individual who considers himself inferior refuses to do anything in order to avoid possible problems.
5. Self-promotion. People who have some shortcomings try by any means to show themselves to others from their advantageous side. It is important for them to receive approval and praise. That is why they depend so much on other people's opinions.

It turns out that the type of compensation a person chooses determines how his future life will turn out. Pseudo-compensation will definitely not lead to anything good. Overcompensation, on the contrary, will help you achieve success.

Chapter 12. Characteristics of residual states of organic genesis

12.1. The concept of dysontogenesis

The study of persistent disorders of mental functions that manifest themselves in the late period of childhood development (prolonged disorders) and are caused by organic damage to the brain that occurred in the early stages of ontogenesis is one of the tasks of clinical neuropsychology of childhood. The specificity of these disorders is due to the fact that they may not appear at the time of damage to the nervous system, which usually occurs in the early stages of its maturation, but arise at later stages of development, when the damaged sections, in accordance with their specialization, must enter into the active functioning stage.

Damage to the brain during its maturation not only disrupts mental functions, but also the very dynamics of brain development, changing its potential capabilities. Damage from early brain damage can be detected later in the form of various residual conditions (residual manifestations of dysfunction of the nervous system). As noted by G. E. Sukhareva (1998), in the clinical picture of residual conditions, two main syndromes can be distinguished - the syndrome of a defective state and the syndromes of delayed and impaired development.

The first of them reflects the direct damage caused by the disease and manifests itself either in the form of degradation of all mental activity (organic dementia), or in the predominant irreversible damage to a certain area of ​​the psyche.

The latter reflect partial or general disorders of ontogenesis and manifest themselves in the form of infantilism (mental development delays) or mental retardation and psychopathy (impaired development).

Various mental development disorders are also united by the general concept of “mental diontogenesis.” It denotes disorders, deviations in the individual development of a child during the period of morphological maturation of organs and systems of the body, inconsistency of intelligence and psyche in general with age norms.

The term “dysontogeny” was first used by J. Shvalbev in 1927 to designate the deviation of the intrauterine formation of body structures from normal development. Subsequently, this term began to designate various forms of ontogenetic disorders.

Dysontogenesis differs from disorders that occur when formed organs and systems are damaged: in the first case, there is a violation of mental development, in the second, an acquired pathology of previously normal functions.

The etiology and pathogenesis of dysontogenesis are determined by the action of a number of factors, both biological and environmental (in particular social):

• genetic, intrauterine disorders;
• pathology of childbirth;
• intoxications;
• organic damage;
• injuries;
• harmful environmental impacts;
• malnutrition;
• deprivation;
• pedagogical neglect;
• unfavorable upbringing conditions, etc.

Dysontogenesis is characterized by a violation of the development of individual mental functions, as well as interfunctional connections. The mechanisms of these disorders are described in the following terms:

• regression - a temporary or persistent return of function to an earlier stage of age-related development;
• decay - loss of function;
• isolation and fixation of a function - a violation of its interaction with other mental functions and its non-inclusion in complex systems of hierarchical connections.

These mechanisms form various types of specific and general disorders, as well as developmental asynchronies - disproportions in the development of the child’s mental sphere in the form of:

• retardation - incompleteness of certain periods of development;
• pathological acceleration - extremely early development of individual mental functions;
• combinations of retardation and acceleration of various mental functions.

Specific types of dysontogenesis depend on a number of factors:

1) functional localization of the disorder;

2) time of defeat;

3) the relationship between the primary and secondary defect;

4) the presence of violations of interfunctional interactions (Lebedinsky V.V., 2003).

Specific types and forms of dysontogenesis include:

• oligophrenia;
• various variants of clinical infantilism, slowing down the rate of mental development;
• autism;
• psychopathy;
• mental development disorders caused by sensory deficits (damage or underdevelopment of analytical systems);
• learning disability, which includes difficulties in mastering reading, writing, counting - dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, hyperactivity, attention deficit, etc.

In domestic child psychiatry, defectology, and psychology, the terms “mental retardation” and “developmental anomalies” are often used to refer to various types of dysontogenesis.

The concept of “mental retardation” (MDD) was used to define deviations in the mental development of children who do not have mental retardation, profound impairments of sensory systems, or lesions of the nervous system, but at the same time lag behind their peers in their development and experience learning difficulties. It was assumed that children with such a diagnosis had a potential ability for development and learning, but for certain reasons it was not realized, and this led to the emergence of new problems in learning, behavior, and health.

Describing various variants of mental retardation, researchers also considered a whole set of various biological and environmental causes that give rise to them: from damage and functional immaturity of the nervous system to pedagogical neglect.

Clinical variants of mental retardation are considered from the point of view of a psychoorganic syndrome, the so-called “residual-organic” genesis, which implies residual manifestations of an organic disorder of the brain as the cause of mental retardation (Markovskaya I.F., 1993).

Classifications of various forms of ZPR were developed by a number of authors such as G. E. Sukhareva, T. A. Vlasova, M. S. Pevzner, V. V. Kovalev, V. V. Lebedinsky, A. I. Zakharov, etc.

For example, V.V. Lebedinsky (2003) differentiates six separate variants of mental dysontogenesis, or developmental anomalies, based on the main quality of the developmental disorder:

• a group of anomalies caused by developmental delays: underdevelopment, delayed development;
• a group of anomalies in which the leading feature is disproportionality (asynchrony) of development: distorted and disharmonious development;
• a group of anomalies caused by breakdown, loss of individual functions: damaged and deficient development.

Of all these disorders, only delayed development can be considered as having a temporary, reversible nature.

Minimal brain dysfunction

To explain the causes of deviations in mental development in the absence of visible organic causes, another term is also used - “minimal brain dysfunction” (MCD). This term first became widespread in foreign psychology, where minimal brain dysfunction became the main explanatory cause of a number of disorders associated with disorders of the mental development and behavior of children; somewhat later it began to be used in domestic psychology.

Currently, minimal brain dysfunctions are considered as consequences of early local brain damage, manifested in age-related immaturity of certain higher mental functions and their disharmonious development. Since higher mental functions as complex functional systems cannot be localized in narrow zones of the cerebral cortex or in isolated cell groups, but must cover complex systems of jointly working zones, it is believed that minimal brain dysfunctions may reflect damage to various brain zones.

With minimal brain dysfunction, there is a delay in the rate of development of functional brain systems that provide certain mental functions and types of higher mental activity.

For the first time, detailed clinical descriptions of these dysfunctions appeared in the literature in the 30-40s of the last century. During this period, the concept of “minimal brain damage” was formulated, which began to denote non-progressive, residual (that is, residual, not completely resolved) conditions resulting from early local lesions of the central nervous system in the pathology of pregnancy and childbirth (pre- and perinatal), cranial -brain injuries or neuroinfections.

Features of the clinical picture were considered to be manifestations of retardation in the development of individual higher mental functions (but not intelligence as a whole), various behavioral disorders, perceptual disorders, instability of attention, learning difficulties and emotional disturbances. At the same time, the need to take into account, when determining a brain lesion, its localization, prevalence, as well as the stage of development of the child’s brain at the time of its damage, was emphasized. The term “minimal” reflects a relatively small degree of damage to the central nervous system, in contrast to conditions such as cerebral palsy or mental retardation (Zavadenko N. N., 2000).

The term “minimal cerebral dysfunction” was proposed by E. Denoff in 1959 to refer to disorders in the brain that lead to symptoms associated with: difficulty learning at school, difficulty in a child controlling his own activity and behavior in general. There are more than three dozen terms for this condition in different countries, but none of them fully describes all the disorders that these children have.

The term MMD was officially recommended for use at a special conference on child neurology in Oxford in 1962. In 1969, the National Institute of Neurological Diseases and Blindness in the United States published the works “Minimal Brain Dysfunction in Children” and “Dysfunction of Information Processing in the Central Nervous System,” which highlighted the scientific aspects of the problem. G. B. Levy (1995) believes that the essence of the matter is best reflected by the term “dysfunction of the information processing process in the central nervous system,” but the term MMD is too widely established in practice to change it.

The problem of the severity of neurological signs accompanying conditions diagnosed as “minimal cerebral dysfunction” has led to widespread discussion regarding the legitimacy of using the concept of MMD.

One aspect of this discussion concerned the rationale for introducing a new term. If any changes in brain function are considered as a result of brain damage, then there is no need to use the term MMD. On the other hand, the possibility of spontaneous compensation and disappearance of soft neurological signs suggests the need to use it in relation to those microdisturbances that do not have a fatal effect on development due to the high plasticity of the brain and the possibility of restructuring its work.

The importance of distinguishing between the concepts of “brain damage” and “cerebral dysfunction” is noted by A. M. Horton. Brain damage is a pathological change in brain tissue. Neurodiagnostic methods such as positron emission tomography (PET), magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), computed tomography (CT), EEG can indicate the presence of a lesion. However, it is difficult to identify pathology in brain physiology that is not associated with structural changes using these methods. The use of the concept of "dysfunction" becomes useful, therefore, in cases where the functional consequences of brain damage are obvious, but there is no evidence of obvious brain damage (Horton A. MN., 1997).

Another aspect of the discussion was associated with the broad use of the term MMD. A number of diverse developmental and behavioral disorders were combined into a single complex, due to the presence of minimal brain dysfunction. Subsequent study of disorders associated with this phenomenon showed that they cannot be considered as a single clinical entity. The variety of factors underlying them and the heterogeneity of clinical manifestations have led to the differentiation of a number of conditions that were previously combined within the framework of minimal brain dysfunctions. Thus, in the latest edition of the international classification of diseases ICD-10 (1994), recommended by the World Health Organization (WHO), a number of different disorders were identified that correlate with MMD (Table 12.1).

Compensation as a type of psychological protection

As with other types of psychological defense, the task of compensation is to protect the psyche from the influence of negative emotions. It begins in childhood, when the child understands what needs to be done in order to become valuable in the eyes of others and to gain approval. For example, many are told that they will be loved and respected only if they become rich. This encourages grown-up children to direct all their strength and capabilities to making money.

If we consider compensation as a psychological defense mechanism, then we can say that it is an escape from problems. Compensating for his shortcomings, a person tries to escape reality. He doesn't want to find out why his life is bad in his current circumstances.

The opinion of the majority plays a big role in this matter. Many of us are used to agreeing with him. And this is not surprising, since people who look at things differently are often considered crazy. Over time, a person begins to think about himself the same way. At this moment, compensation is activated, encouraging one to fight against imaginary inferiority.

Compensation is also considered to be the inability to adequately perceive oneself as a person with shortcomings (real or imagined). Unable to accept them, a person tries to either get rid of them or make them his advantages.

On the one hand, it may seem that compensation really helps. But on the other hand, it forces a person to live the way society wants, and not he himself. Everything is fine as long as he masks or compensates for his shortcomings and inferiority. But as soon as they come out, a lot of tension arises.

The essence of compensatory behavior in management

Management psychology, as a branch of practical psychology, studies the laws of management psychology, which manifest themselves in interaction, in interpersonal relationships and in group communication and act like any law. Personnel management should be based on principles such as methodicality and psychology [1, p. 4]. In philosophy, development is characterized as “an irreversible, directed, natural change in material and ideal objects” [3, P. 561]. The consequence of these changes is a qualitatively new state of the object. Likewise, compensatory changes in personality become the result of development.

If a person develops a quality or trait that was initially well developed in him, this is called compensation. Compensation is divided into direct and indirect. Direct compensation is a process in which a person strives for success in an area where he feels a certain uncertainty and lack. Indirect compensation suggests that success is achieved in a different, new area. The use of the law of compensation is characteristic of an adult and mature person. This type of psychological defense is most common in a professional environment: compensatory behavior is characteristic of people who are aimed at achieving a specific status. Status is one of the needs of the individual, because a person’s work in production is multi-motivated, and a person strives to satisfy not only his economic needs at work [2, pp. 297-309].

The purpose of compensatory behavior is to help the individual maintain self-esteem at a normal level. To achieve this, you should learn to switch your attention from a lack or negative experience to already developed qualities, to experiences that evoke associations with positive emotions. If the compensatory mechanism is very well developed, even negative experiences can motivate a person to self-development, a multifaceted process of personality formation.

Nathan Rothschild once said: “Whoever controls the information controls the world.” Already now you have everything to start: information, faith, action. Be firmly confident in your capabilities and get results. Be yourself, that is, an individual: manage events, use your capabilities. Avoid useless criticism of yourself and others. Understand what values ​​are significant to you and defend them. Write down the goals you set for yourself. Act in the present tense, observing the seven principles of success: 1) do not be afraid to do the right thing; 2) rely on yourself: 3) be honest; 4) listen to reason; 5) remain calm; 6) do not focus on the mistakes of others; 7) Make success your strategy.

Examples of compensation

The simplest and most understandable example of compensation is connected, no matter how funny it may sound, with food. When a person does not consume certain foods, for example, while on a diet, the body demands to replace them with something else, something that contains the nutrients it needs. So, if you really want ice cream, you lack calcium and tryptophan. You can get them from chicken, rabbit or turkey. An irresistible desire to eat chocolate indicates a magnesium deficiency. You can replenish it with buckwheat, pine nuts, and lettuce.

Let's move on to examples related to people. Imagine a skinny teenage boy. People laugh at him because of his appearance. But he doesn't rush to the gym to pump up. Instead, he does what he does best: play chess. And he will definitely achieve success in this direction. But physical defects will still remind you of themselves, which will ultimately lead to the development of neuroses.

Let's take the same frail teenager. In the previous example we were talking about compensation. If overcompensation turns on, he will direct all his strength to eliminate the deficiency, will intensively engage in sports, wrestling, in order to then take revenge on those who teased and offended him.

Compensation is cases when, instead of establishing relationships with others, a person gets a dog. Having a pet is, of course, good. But if you communicate only with him, then over time you can lose your communication skills with people and end up alone.

Another example of compensation is career. It replaces family, entertainment, and friends. There is some benefit to this. A person achieves success and recognition in society. But look from the other side. Over time, the body of workaholics simply gets tired. And no job or career will give you a feeling of real happiness.

The Law of Inadequate Self-Esteem

The essence of this law is that when trying to evaluate oneself, a person faces the same internal barriers and limitations as when analyzing other people.
It is known that self-esteem is never adequate - it is always either overestimated or underestimated. In addition, it is common for a person to overestimate himself in some ways and at the same time underestimate himself in some ways, and this, of course, leaves an imprint on the conclusions that he makes about himself. It should be remembered that a person is not so much a rational, logical, reasonable being as an illogical, emotional, irrational and sometimes unreasonable being.

His psyche can be simply represented in the form of conscious (logical-mental) and unconscious (emotional-intuitive) components. Hidden internal driving forces that force a person to act in a certain way are sometimes not realized by that person himself. That is why logical, rational self-analysis (as well as the analysis of other people) is never completely adequate.

Law of Information Distortion

Sometimes it is called the law of loss of meaning of management information, or the law of splitting the meaning of management information.
The essence of this law is that management information (directives, orders, instructions, etc.) has an objective tendency to change meaning in the process of moving from top to bottom. The degree of change is directly proportional to the number of links through which information passes: the more workers become familiar with it and pass it on to other people, the more the meaning differs from the original. This is not happening due to someone’s evil will. The loss of meaning of information is based on the following circumstances:

• The language in which management information is transmitted is a polysemantic language. No matter how strict or precise the concepts used in a language are, there is always the possibility of different interpretations of the same message. It has been established that oral information is perceived with an accuracy of up to 50% (by the way, the famous “broken phone” game is based on this fact).
• If the information is incomplete, if access to it is limited and the need of subordinates to obtain operational information is not fully satisfied, then people inevitably begin to speculate, invent, and supplement what they know, relying on unverified facts and their own guesses. And then the volume of information changes not only towards decrease, but also towards increase.
• People who perceive information and transmit it differ from each other in their level of education, intellectual development, in their needs, as well as in their physical and mental state. This also leaves an imprint on the process of information transfer.

What can you do to minimize distortion? It is recommended to do the following:

• Reduce, as far as possible, the number of transmission links involved in the process of disseminating information.
• Timely provide employees with all the necessary information on the issues that they must resolve.
• Maintain feedback with subordinates in order to monitor the correct assimilation of the information received.

Distortions of perception and understanding in the process of communication

When we meet a person, dozens of different mechanisms come into motion in our psyche, and all this happens in seconds, that is, sometimes subconsciously. The process of perceiving an interlocutor is very complex; in this article we will try to find out the main points of how a person decides whether he likes a communication partner.

In social psychology, the perception of a person by a person is the process of constructing an image of another, which unfolds during direct communication with him. It has special temporal characteristics and includes all levels of mental reflection.

If we talk about conscious perception, then first of all a person pays attention to the appearance of the interlocutor: hairstyle, eyes, expression and symmetry of the face, expressive body movements, and other features. During the dialogue, ideas are formed about his abilities, character traits, emotional states, interests - all this is very often grouped together.

Conscious perception is formed from four components that are used in assessing and perceiving another person:

1. Emotional : we form an opinion about a person based on his attractiveness or unattractiveness. It is especially important whether you are comfortable with him. If yes, then we give it a positive rating.
2. Analytical : here each element of appearance is perceived as a form of manifestation of a personality trait. Sloppy dressed and with a beard - a programmer, wears glasses - a scientist or botanist.
3. Social-associative : we attribute character traits and personality traits to a person based on the social group to which he belongs.
4. Perceptual-associative : we perceive a person based on his similarity with our friends or public figures (first love, enemy, famous actor).

However, this is just a conscious perception, and there are also unconscious ones - which is why this process is so intricate. We'll talk about it later.

It is also worth saying that we ourselves want to look a certain way in the eyes of others and put a lot of effort into this. Or at least we want to understand what impression we are making. This means that a situation often arises that can be called “I think that he thinks that I think that he thinks.”

This process can take place at three levels (depending on the situation):

• I look at him and see that he is looking at me.
• I look at him and, seeing that his eyes are fixed on me, I try to imagine what impression I make.
• I look at him and, seeing that his eyes are fixed on me, I try to imagine what impression I make, and also how he imagines the impression I make on him.

You can remove the most complex level and highlight six figurative figures that appear when the conditional Igor and Alexander take part in the dialogue:

• real Alexander;
• Alexander's idea of ​​himself;
• Igor's idea of ​​Alexander;
• real Igor;
• Igor's idea of ​​himself;
• Alexander's idea of ​​Igor;

It is obvious that the human brain is not able to separately and adequately process such a complex structure, which is why complete chaos arises in the head. Such multi-tiered representations can cause misconceptions. For example, any facial gesture on the interlocutor’s face can be interpreted completely incorrectly and will complicate both communication and getting the right impression of the person.

But if you are able to imagine what another person imagines about you, this is only a plus, and not at all unnecessary mind games. This way you can understand how you appear in the eyes of people and adjust your behavior. “I don’t care how others perceive me” is the wrong approach for people seeking successful communication.

Many of our communication problems, however, arise from a reluctance to ask the simple question: “Is it just me, or do you perceive me as such and such?” Of course, you may receive an insincere answer, but from now on your interlocutor will be conscious of his perception, so the chance that you will be perceived correctly increases.

Settings of perception

Quite often we mistakenly and distortedly perceive the personality, actions and behavior of other people. It happens that our eyes seem to open to the true essence of a person, although, most likely, he has always been like this, and we only allowed ourselves not to notice it.

Psychologists believe that there are three types of attitudes towards the perception of another person: positive, negative and adequate. With a positive attitude, we overestimate the positive qualities of the interlocutor and give a small advance, although in fact we behave trustingly and do not realize it.

With a negative attitude, we tend to exaggerate the shortcomings of a particular person, and downplay or ignore his merits. Here we are dealing with stereotypes, cognitive distortions and prejudice. Mistrust and suspicion arise.

Correct installation is adequate. In this case, we understand that there is no purely black or white, and we evaluate both the positive and negative qualities of a person. Rather, we are interested in the personality itself and its uniqueness.

Other psychologists understand the term “attitude” differently. In their opinion, a social attitude is a person’s unconscious readiness to perceive and evaluate people in a certain habitual way and to react in a pre-formed way without a full analysis of a specific situation.

These attitudes are formed under the influence of:

• personal experience that is gained in repeated situations;
• parents, friends, media, environment, social norms accepted in the cultural environment.

These settings have three dimensions:

• Affective dimension: positive or negative emotions, attitude towards a specific person or information.
• Cognitive Dimension: The beliefs and opinions that a person holds about a person or thing.
• Behavioral dimension: readiness for certain behavioral reactions that correspond to a person’s beliefs and experiences.

How we interpret the information that enters our senses (mainly visual) and brain is very important. Prejudice and biased attitudes are formed precisely at the stage of interpretation, because before that the world is objective.

An event or a person in our life does not mean anything in itself, but we give it meaning through interpretation. And it, in turn, depends on many factors. We talked about external ones, now let's discuss internal ones.

All our attitudes take the form of stereotypes and cognitive distortions. Once you begin to wage a fierce struggle with them, you will learn to perceive people as objectively as possible and avoid many misconceptions.

Stereotypes and cognitive distortions

A stereotype is a simplified, often distorted, idea of ​​a social group or individual belonging to a particular community, characteristic of the sphere of everyday consciousness.

Stereotypes arise for two reasons: mental laziness and lack of information and time. For example, we have a few seconds to either trust a person or close ourselves off from him: we use external, superficial characteristics, look at his race, gender and age. Stereotypes, in fact, form attitudes.

Cognitive distortions also change our perception. These are systematic errors in thinking or patterns of bias in judgment that occur in certain situations. Their existence has been confirmed by many experiments, so this is no longer a theory.

We've written a lot about cognitive biases, so for now we'll just give three typical examples:

• The primacy effect: the first information heard or seen about a person becomes very significant. Moreover, it matters what mood you were in at that time.
• The novelty effect: when it comes to someone you know, the most recent, new information becomes the defining information in perception. Any unexpected action, non-standard act of a loved one forces one to conclude that there are certain personality traits that were not noticed before.
• The Pygmalion effect: you get the feedback from the person during the conversation that you were counting on. If you wanted a closed interlocutor (or were very afraid of this) - with a high degree of probability he will be like that or will be perceived by you as such.

Analyze your thoughts for stereotypes and cognitive distortions. To do this, think back to your last few meetings with strangers or acquaintances. Be as clear as possible.

How to be objective?

We will give you three tips, following which you will be able to perceive a person (or event) more adequately and objectively.

• Observe more and talk less about the conclusions you reach. These are two sequential processes and the second part is completely optional. An observation is simply a description of what you heard and saw, while a conclusion is our interpretation based on cognitive distortions, stereotypes and beliefs.
• When describing another person, use less words like “he never” and “he always” and instead say “to a greater or lesser extent.”
• Describe more than evaluate. You should not rely on black and white thinking, where all people are “bad” or “good”, “good” or “evil”.

If you want to communicate with people and do it as effectively as possible, you need to be objective, but also understand how others perceive you. Sometimes we cannot reach an agreement for this reason alone, so practice as often as possible.

We wish you good luck!

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Key words:1Cognitive science