Conflict is a normal side of life. Even in the most friendly social group, opposing interests can collide. This could potentially turn into conflict. Any difficulties in relationships lead to their development if they are treated correctly.
Conflict between man and woman
Everyone can easily give examples of conflict situations. Even the most peaceful person faces them. History includes two global conflicts that led to the death of a huge number of people, and many small ones. Therefore, the ability to resolve conflicts productively is one of the most important things in life.
Moreover, almost everyone can give an example of a conflict and its analysis if the situation has already been resolved. Unfortunately, few people rely on successes and use their successful experience in subsequent difficulties in relationships.
The concept of a conflict situation
A conflict situation is the presence of opposing interests, motives and outlooks on life. For example, the manager and his deputy have different visions of the company's strategy, but both are interested in its development. This is a conflict situation. It could potentially develop further, with each side imposing its vision on the other. In this case, the situation develops into a full-fledged conflict.
The main difference between a conflict situation and a conflict is that the latter is an already existing clash, while the former is only a prerequisite for it.
Conflict situation
In everyday life, these concepts do not differ, as in the literature on psychology or conflictology. Therefore, to simplify the understanding of the topic, we can consider a conflict situation and conflict as synonyms.
Attention! In conflictology, the concepts of subject and object of conflict are distinguished. The subject is the contradiction that underlies it. The object is the value on the basis of which they conflict. This can be not only money, but also good positions in the organization or role rights (when they want to become a boss, for example).
Other methods of conflict resolution and resolution
Other methods of conflict resolution and resolution depend on the characteristics of each problem situation and should be used based on this provision:
- Intrapersonal methods. They have an impact on an individual and imply adequate organization of his behavior.
EXAMPLE: The ability to justify one’s position, express an opinion or point of view without provoking a negative or aggressive reaction from another person or group of people, etc.
- Structural methods. They influence the subjects of conflicts that arise due to incorrect distribution of responsibilities, rights or functions, as well as improper organization of work or an unfair remuneration system.
EXAMPLE: Clear explanation to the parties to the conflict of their functions and tasks; a specific table of rights and responsibilities; principle of unity of command, etc.
- Interpersonal methods. They are considered in two aspects: external and internal. External implies the competent activity of a third party to resolve the conflict. Internal – the use of effective techniques in the process of conflict interaction and everyday communication by the subjects themselves.
EXAMPLE: Coercion, compromise, cooperation, confrontation, evasion, compliance, accommodation, empathy, etc.
- Retaliatory aggression. Responsive destructive actions of one subject of the conflict in relation to another when a conflict situation arises.
EXAMPLE: Counterattack, bickering, unwillingness to make concessions, argument, etc.
- Avoiding conflict. It is used when the conflict is unnecessary for one of the subjects or the problematic situation is completely banal, as well as in cases where it is necessary to solve more important problems, gain time, or collect missing information.
EXAMPLE: Smoothing, accommodation, inaction, procrastination, concessions, taking the opposite position.
- Conflict suppression. It is used in cases where circumstances do not allow entering into an open conflict, it is impossible to involve the opposite party in the situation, or there is a risk of losing authority, image, etc.
EXAMPLE: Divide and conquer method, quick conflict resolution, hidden actions, etc.
This should also include a very interesting tool for conflict resolution. As such, it does not represent a method of resolution, but it serves as an indispensable assistant for any person faced with unfavorable circumstances within the framework of the topic we are considering. This tool is called a conflict resolution matrix. You can remember the matrix, write it down on a piece of paper and always keep it nearby, or you can simply understand its features. In any case, this will be useful, because... can be useful anytime, anywhere.
So, the matrix:
To understand the essence of the presented matrix, you just need to refer to the description of conflict resolution methods that we talked about at the end of the lesson. Evaluate their advantages and disadvantages, remember how they differ from each other. And in order to more accurately understand the probability with which a particular conflict is most often resolved, in brackets for each of the matrix methods there is a scheme (“win-lose”, “win-win”, etc.), which means the prospect of resolving the conflict for the party applying the method (first indicator) and for the party to whom this method is directed (second indicator). The matrix is extremely easy to use, so mastering it will not pose any difficulties for you.
In conclusion, it remains only to note that the considered methods of resolving and resolving conflicts are not exhaustive or the only one of their kind. The most important thing is to come to the understanding that absolutely anything that helps ensure and maintain normal relations between people can serve as such methods; everything that strengthens their respect and trust in each other.
Types of conflicts
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The classification of types of conflicts is very large. There are 8 signs by which you can separate them:
- By duration: one-time, short-term (a quarrel in the family), protracted (for example, a long-term conflict in a married couple), recurring (often occurs when both parties regularly express their grievances, but do nothing to resolve the problematic situation), long-term (wars) , revolution).
- By volume: personal, group, intergroup, regional, between nations.
- According to the source of occurrence: subjective, objective and false. The division is conditional, because most conflicts are subjective. It seems to a person that he is full of contradictions, although they can always be resolved.
- Based on their means, conflicts are divided into violent and non-violent. War is a typical example of violent conflict. This division is also conditional, because all conflicts are based on different forms of violence: economic, psychological, physical, and so on.
- By form:
- Internal. A typical example is an intrapersonal conflict, when a person cannot decide whether to meet a person of the opposite sex or not. On the one hand, I want to, but on the other hand, I’m scared
- External. Conflict between two different people.
- Antagonistic. Conflicts that occur between two absolute opposites.
- According to the results: progressive and regressive. The first ones lead to progress, the others lead to destruction.
- By the nature of development: deliberate (created by a provocateur to achieve his goals), spontaneous (for example, when preschoolers in kindergarten were poisoned with food), and parents were not prepared for this.
- By sphere of life: family, religious, economic, and so on.
Conflict between boss and subordinate
These are not all the types of conflicts identified by psychologists that can be cited. The library has many books on this topic. It describes various conflicts, starting with the oppression of schoolchildren by their classmates (bullying), scandals with parents in adolescence, and ending with the clash of interests of an elderly patient with a doctor.
Conflict Prevention
Conflict prevention is mainly about predicting them, for example, the severity of the consequences or the time of onset. Carrying out conflict prevention activities is only possible using methods such as expert surveys, experimental and mathematical modeling, extrapolation, etc. In addition, prevention should be carried out at all levels: personal level, micro level, average level and macro level.
Conflict prevention measures should be related to the elimination of conditions conducive to the emergence of conflicts. The basis here is such measures as eliminating the deformation of social relations, dividing society into social strata, social psychohygiene and social protection of the population, psychotherapy (individual, group, mass), psychoprophylaxis, as well as training in social interaction, education, education, etc.
All these nuances must be taken into account, because It is much easier to eliminate a problem in its bud than to deal with it later, resorting to all sorts of methods, techniques and tricks. But, of course, there are no methods that 100% guarantee that conflict will not arise, and conflicts should be perceived as an integral part of human life. And if problems arise, then you need to be fully armed, i.e. be prepared for them and be able to resolve them. So what does conflict resolution mean? How does this happen and how to learn it?
Conflict resolution
There are five strategies for dealing with conflict:
- Device. A person sacrifices his own interests for the sake of the interests of another. This is the behavior of children who are oppressed by teachers in elementary school because they have no other choice.
- Rivalry. A person defends his interests, ignoring the other side and not wanting to compromise.
- Avoidance. A person does everything to prevent conflict. Examples of conflicts of this type are found everywhere. The husband saw that his wife was starting to get angry and simply left so as not to anger her even more.
- Compromise. People structure communication in such a way as to achieve partial satisfaction of their interests. This can be seen very clearly in trading on the market. One person wants to buy a product at one price, the seller does not want to sell it at that price. As a result, they converge on a sum that is something in between.
- Cooperation. Focus on mutually beneficial results.
Stages of relationships between a man and a woman - description of the main periods
There is no good or bad strategy for dealing with conflict. If it arose for a minor reason, then you can give in. This will only strengthen the relationship. You can compete if it brings benefits. For example, when parents force a child to wash his hands, this is also a conflict, but such a strategy will be correct.
Important! It may be wiser to cooperate with the baby: convince him. It all depends on the parents and the individual child.
Meditation during conflict
It is important to provide examples of conflict situations and their resolution in order to understand how to resolve them in more detail.
In life
Any conflict in life is resolved in the following way: you need to clearly define your own and others’ interests, find the main contradiction, aggravate it and think about how to resolve it. This scheme is taken from the theory of inventive problem solving (TRIZ). Resolving any conflict is a creative task; there cannot be only one correct action. It should be as close as possible to the ideal final result.
You can give the following example of describing a conflict in the subject “conflict theory” (and analyze it). A friend borrowed money but doesn't want to give it back. The amount is significant, so the conflict cannot be resolved so easily. Considering that everyone is emotional, over time the scandal spread to other areas that no longer relate to the subject of the conflict.
Scheme for solving a problem situation in this case:
- The parties calm down.
- Determine the essence of the problem situation in detail. The borrower took the money at such and such a time, the size of the debt is such and such, and does not want to pay it back. In turn, the “creditor” demands this money. Only in the details.
- They aggravate contradictions that cannot be resolved. This entire body of information must be reduced to one or more contradictions, the two parts of which are completely opposite. For example, in order for Party A to be satisfied, the debt must be repaid. For Party B to be satisfied, she needs to not repay the debt.
- Ways are being found to overcome them. According to TRIZ theory, the ideal final result (IFR) is when the action/object is absent, but its function is performed. In this situation, you do not need to repay the debt, but ensure that the money is returned. It is necessary to find the option closest to the IFR. Possible ways to resolve the situation: installment plan, help in a business that will help save side A an amount equal to the debt, work for side A for some time, organize a joint business and for some time receive a smaller percentage of each transaction until the debt is repaid , or provide such strong help that party A will forgive the debt out of gratitude. By the way, the last option is the closest to the ideal final result. There is no need to give the money, but the function is completed (the debt is written off).
Important! All conflicts are resolved using a similar scheme. You might also consider which of the strategies described above is closest to the ideal end result in this case.
There are other possible examples of conflicts from life. They are solved in a similar way.
In family
The scheme for resolving family conflicts is not fundamentally different, except that one scandal is a logical continuation of all the previous ones. Unraveling such a tangle is not always easy, since claims that are not related to the main conflict ten years ago may be put forward, including unspoken ones. In any case, the sequence of actions is the same.
At work
Conflicts at work can be between a subordinate and superiors, different subordinates, entire subsections, a subsection and the manager. Each of them has its own specifics. Intergroup conflicts are always more severe than individual ones, but if two heads of related departments quarrel with each other, then every subordinate can get it.
Mediator during a conflict
Typically, conflicts at work require the involvement of a separate independent person - a mediator. This is a mediator whose task is to find the interests that are the subject of conflict and reconcile the warring parties. Ideally, the mediator should find a solution that satisfies everyone. In practice, this is difficult to do, so the conflict is resolved in several stages:
- Definition of interests.
- Reaching a compromise.
- Finding a mutually beneficial solution.
- Implementation of the solution.
First you need to put out the fire, find a compromise.
Important! This is only a temporary measure, because the discontent of each side sooner or later develops into a new conflict. Therefore, after reaching a compromise, it is imperative to look for a more effective way to solve the problem situation.
How to resolve the conflict?
First of all, you need to understand its type (we’ll talk about this below), the reasons (what all the fuss is about) and start correcting the situation.
There are three ways to resolve the conflict:
- negative - the parties to the conflict are not inferior to each other, the conflict is getting worse. Further aggravation of relations is possible up to their rupture;
- compromise - both sides make concessions and find a solution that satisfies them. The conflict ends;
- constructive - the parties find a solution that leads to strengthening of relations.
It is clear that the third way is the most correct. In this case, conflict situations may no longer recur. In the first case, this is practically impossible - the parties to the conflict will fight to the death. And even the second method is not a panacea - a compromise may work one or several times, but in the future it ceases to satisfy both parties.
However, if the parties have a desire to resolve the conflict (and almost everyone has it, because few people like being in a state of war. The exception is toxic employees who truly enjoy quarrels and intrigues), then the chances of success are high. It is you, as a leader and experienced manager, who must take on the role of peacemaker. How to do this?
Analysis of the conflict
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Rarely do those in conflict try to make a detailed analysis of the situation. Although only in this case contradictions in the interests of each side can become a source of development and contribute to better mutual understanding.
The conflict resolution technique described above is based on their analysis. This is not the only parsing method, but it is very effective. To quickly solve a problem, you need to learn how to formulate it correctly. Analyzing a difficult situation helps this.
This article provided an example of a conflict and its solution. Regardless of its type (interpersonal, intercultural, pedagogical), the path to resolution is approximately the same.
What is conflict?
In simple words, this is the opposition of the participants, and a conflict situation is a way of resolving contradictions, which is not expressed in a peaceful way. Conflicts are usually accompanied by a surge of negative emotions.
Without conflicts, communication is impossible. Even the best relationships are tested. And in general, wherever at least two people act, conflicts are inevitable, because each of them has different interests, goals, and values. Even if everything is decent on the outside—no one hits each other’s faces or says hurtful words—people can have passions boiling inside. How to extinguish this volcano in the bud and get out of a conflict situation with dignity? And is it necessary to extinguish it - perhaps this is not a dead end, but a path to development?
