A person’s entire life consists of a series of decisions made – big and small. The whole future life depends on some of them. Many people have difficulty when faced with making a choice. Let's figure out how to make the decision-making process more effective, and what methods can be used to do this.
How people make decisions
Every day life presents us with a choice, presenting us with various tasks. What to cook for breakfast? What suit to wear to work? Which phone should I buy? Where to go on vacation during your vacation? Should I agree to the marriage proposal or wait? Should I quit my job or stay? There are decisions that don’t really affect anything, but there are those that radically change your life.
All people behave differently when making decisions. There is a category of people who are called “don’t care”. They are never tormented by choice, because they give preference to the first or simplest option. They put on the clothes that are the first to be taken out of the closet, go on a date with the first person to invite them, take the job that is easiest to get, etc. These people believe that life itself will put everything in its place, so they don’t It's worth the effort.
Another category of people is guided by intuition when making important decisions. These individuals always listen to their inner voice and do not doubt the correctness of the decisions made. However, there are not very many such people.
The majority of people are individuals who have difficulty making choices. They suffer, doubt, weigh every option, but still cannot make a final decision. And when the decision is made, they continue to doubt its correctness. If you belong to the category of such people and do not know how to make a decision when in doubt, then it will be useful for you to learn several methods that make the selection process easier.
Perception of criticism
Sometimes, doubting whether to make the right decision, we turn our problem to one of our acquaintances, friends or relatives. However, it often happens that those to whom we turned begin to be indignant and criticize us, citing a variety of reasons, which confuses us even more.
In such a situation, you need to understand that criticism is not at all an attempt to offend or offend us, even if it seems to us biased, unfair and unnecessary. But, regardless of this, we must be able to competently perceive comments addressed to us, drawing correct and useful conclusions for ourselves.
Yes, being able to work with criticism is not always easy for everyone, but learning this is very important. The first step to correctly accepting criticism is to look at the person criticizing us as an assistant who helps us see our arrogance, points out our weaknesses and the shortcomings of the decision we want to make.
Criticism helps us change our position of perception and look at the situation from a new, sometimes even very unexpected angle, identify our pain points and their impact on our decision-making process, as a result of which our effectiveness can increase. But this is possible only in the case of a healthy and painless attitude towards other people’s opinions.
And here we again want to turn to our materials: we advise you to read the article “Working Effectively with Criticism,” which gives a lot of useful practical advice and recommendations on this topic. Remember that criticism is always good, as it allows us to develop and become better.
Method 1. “Descartes Square”
The essence of the method is to consider the problem facing you from four different angles. To do this, you need to ask yourself 4 questions. Take a piece of paper and divide it into four parts in the form of a square. Write one of the questions in each part:
- What good will I get if I fulfill my plan?
- What good will I get if I refuse to fulfill my plans?
- What harm will I get if I fulfill my plan?
- What harm will I get if I refuse to fulfill my plans?
Think and write the answer to the question in each square. By listing all the pros and cons of implementing your plan and refusing to implement it, you can understand which decision is best for you to make.
Method 2. “Advice”
If you don’t know what to do in a particular situation and stop doubting, tell the two closest people about the problem and ask them for advice. Popular wisdom says that every person has his own guardian angel who protects and guides him on the right path. The Guardian Angel gives clues through intuition. If a person has poorly developed intuition, then an angel can convey a hint through a loved one. Hence the recommendation to ask for advice from the two closest people.
Method 4 - if you don’t know what to do, act according to the law
Or according to your conscience, as you like. There could be a million situations here. For example, you opened your own business and hired employees. In principle, you can already start working, but here’s the problem: the workers have not yet been registered as required. This requires time, which, as always, is not there. And you decide to start sales and conclude employment contracts along the way . And you can save a little on deductions if you give your salary in envelopes. In general, many acquaintances do not register employees as employees and live happily ever after.
You can’t do this and it’s better to do everything right right away. Savings in this case can result in such losses that you wouldn’t wish it on your enemy. Therefore, if you have a choice, whether it is convenient or according to the law, do it according to the law . It's cheaper and quieter.
Method 3. “Expanding the framework”
The problem with most people is that they force themselves into narrow boundaries and do not see alternatives. They tend to get caught up in the “Yes” and “No” options, not realizing that there are other choices. Let's say you want to take out a car loan. You see only two options: take a car loan or continue using public transport.
By expanding your choice, you will see alternative options. For example: you can find a cheaper car and buy it no longer on credit; you can refuse the loan and start saving money to buy a car; you can rent a house closer to work and avoid using public transport; you can even change your job by getting a job in another company located close to your home; You can negotiate with one of your colleagues to give you a ride to work in his car for a certain fee. As you can see, there can be many options, the main thing is to see them.
What to do if you are in doubt: whether to change jobs or not?
To contents
If you haven’t been happy with your job for a long time, and every morning you dread the production atmosphere you’ll have to plunge into again, maybe it’s finally time to quit? Such difficult decisions should not be made thoughtlessly.
Advice comes from Debra Davenport, PhD, a senior professional career coach and president of DavenportFolio, an entrepreneurial coaching company. She suggests answering a checklist to assess your current situation before making a life-changing decision:
- I look forward to going to work almost every day. (ABOUT)
- The employer treats me fairly and with respect. (ABOUT)
- I live on weekends or any days away from work. (U)
- I feel valued as a professional. (ABOUT)
- My workplace feels like it's been poisoned. (U)
- I can be myself at work and not worry about being judged. (ABOUT)
- I am included in the company's information cycle. (ABOUT)
- The employer provides opportunities for development and advanced training. (ABOUT)
- I don't feel disgusted if there is a need to work extra. (ABOUT)
- My work stimulates me intellectually and creatively. (ABOUT)
- I feel like I am making a positive contribution to society. (ABOUT)
- I get paid well. (ABOUT)
- I often find myself daydreaming about a new career. (U)
- I feel like my work is a natural extension of who I am. (ABOUT)
- I feel successful. (ABOUT)
- I feel trapped and stuck in my current situation. (U)
- I can count on career growth. (ABOUT)
- I like to work as hard as I can. (ABOUT)
- My work activities have a negative impact on my loved ones. (U)
- I have a desire to try something new and unusual. (U)
If you answered “YES” to the questions under the letter “O”, which means “Stay”, you need to wait a while before changing jobs. If “U” - “Leave” is in the lead, it’s worth taking a closer look at the vacant offers.
Method 5. “Glass of water”
The author of this technique is the American parapsychologist Jose Silva, founder of the Silva Method, author of books on unconventional psychology. He suggests the following: in the evening before going to bed, pour clean, unboiled water into a glass. Take the glass with both hands, close your eyes, focus on the problem that worries you and clearly formulate the question that requires a decision. Then, slowly, drink half the glass, mentally repeating something like this: “This is all I need to make the right decision.”
Place a glass with the remaining water near your bed and go to bed. First thing in the morning after waking up, drink some water and thank your subconscious for the right decision. The solution may come immediately after waking up or during the day. People who have tried this technique claim that it works.
Creative visualization
Psychology suggests using the method of creative visualization for speedy decision-making. Ask yourself, how do you define personal success? Write your answer in a journal or on a piece of paper. Then visualize your ideal, future self. Do this by taking a relaxed position, closing your eyes and allowing your mind to wander into daydreams.
Describe to yourself what you see and feel. Thanks to this technique, you can imagine what you want to achieve at this stage, and what you can sacrifice when making decisions.
Method 6. “Delay”
If you can't make a choice and make a decision, give yourself a break. When you're excited and your brain is overloaded with information, it's very difficult to make the right choices. Remember how often you made the wrong decision in a hurry and then regretted it? To prevent this from happening, take a break, calm down, and once again carefully analyze the strengths and weaknesses of your choice. There are not many situations in life that require instant decision making, so don’t be afraid to put it off for a while.
Prepare your resume.
A resume is your business card
It’s up to you to decide in what format to write your resume, but it’s always easier and more effective to choose a template with the correct structure and original design, add your experience and send it to the vacancies you like.
“I don't want to post a resume. I’m still working and I don’t want my current employer to find out about this.”
Many companies do not post vacancies in the public domain, but buy access to the resume database.
And how will you find each other if you are both hiding?
And a couple more tips on your resume:
Choose your photos responsibly. Leave photos with cats, family, flowers and bottles for social networks. It is better to choose a plain light background and a casual business style of clothing. You should not rewrite the work book verbatim. If your work experience is less than 3 months, you should not indicate it. If the break in work is more than 6 months, this should be mentioned in the cover letter. List your responsibilities in a list format (like this one). Also include a few terms from your field, but do not use abbreviations that only you understand
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Method 7. “Own the information”
Before making a choice, try to find out as much information as possible about the option you are going to choose. When it comes to purchasing a product, read reviews about it on the Internet. When deciding to change jobs, learn everything about the position you will be taking and the people who worked there before you. If possible, track down these people to get first-hand information. You understand that the employer may not tell you about all the difficulties that await you, and a person who has already worked in this company before is unlikely to withhold such information.
The more important the decision you make, the more responsible your approach to finding the information you need must be. This way you will protect yourself from deception and prepare for possible difficulties.
Content
- How to make the right decision in life
- Basic rules for decision making
- What should you not do?
- Eliminating emotions
- Fear
- Breath
- Wait
- Stay focused
- Rule 10/10/10
- Give yourself advice
- Ideal "I"
- Decision making methods
- Avoid restrictions and boundaries
- Dream Diary
- Expand your choice
- Disappearance
- Search for information
- Descartes square
- Three Question Method
- Try on different hats
- Eliminating uninteresting options
- Lesser of evils
- PMI method
- Practice five guiding questions
- Algorithm for independent decision making
- How to decide on a job?
- How to decide on divorce?
- How can I help you make a decision?
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Method 8. “Drop your emotions”
Emotions greatly interfere with making the right decision because they distort the vision of the situation. An emotionally agitated person is unable to think sensibly. Therefore, make it a rule: never make decisions while at the peak of emotions. Anger, fear, malice, as well as intense joy and euphoria are bad advisers in decision making.
If you are overcome by emotions, do not make any choice. Give yourself time to cool down, and then take a sober look at the situation. This way you will protect yourself from rash actions and their consequences.
How to get rid of emotions?
Even when you realize that emotions are preventing you from making the right choices, you can't always get rid of them. To make this process easier, use simple methods.
10/10/10
This method allows you to put aside immediate impulses and look at the situation in the long term. The essence of the method is to ask yourself three questions before making a decision:
- How will I feel about my choice in 10 minutes?
- How will I feel about my choice in 10 months?
- How will I feel about my choice in 10 years?
Let's say you want to take out an expensive car on credit. You apply for a loan and get behind the wheel of a brand new car. What will you think 10 minutes after the purchase? You will probably be euphoric, rejoicing at your purchase. But after 10 months, the joy will subside, and you will feel the full weight of the credit burden and will be faced with the need to limit yourself in many things. And in 10 years, when you finally pay off your debts, you will see that your car is old and requires repairs, or maybe you are so tired of it that you want to sell it.
The 10/10/10 method can be used in any situation. It perfectly helps to pacify emotions and look at the long-term consequences of your choice, so as not to regret what you did later.
Stay in the dark
A good way to calm your emotions is to simply be in the dark. Psychologists have proven that twilight or complete darkness calms a person and helps put his thoughts in order. Please note that jewelry stores are always brightly lit. Do you think this was done so that gold and precious stones would play and shimmer better in the rays of light? Not just for this. Marketing experts know that bright lights are more likely to make people make impulse purchases.
If you need to calm your emotions in order to make the right decision, sit for a while in a dim or dark room and reconsider the consequences of your choice.
Breathe deeply
Another simple but effective method that helps in the fight against emotions is deep breathing. Take 10 slow, deep breaths in and out, and then ask yourself again: “Am I doing the right thing?”
Think about what you would advise a friend
To reduce emotions and cool down the ardor, it is useful to look at the situation from the outside. Imagine that it is not you who are faced with the need to make a decision, but your friend. What would you advise him to do in this situation?
Many people notice this peculiarity in themselves: they give practical and rational advice to their friends, but when they find themselves in similar situations, they behave extremely stupidly. This happens because, looking at the problem from the outside, we see only the most essential. And when we ourselves find ourselves in the middle of a problem, a lot of little things come up that we attach too much importance to.
The ability to abstract yourself and look at a situation with an unbiased mind gives a significant advantage when it comes to making the right choice.
Empirical approach
In some cases, trivial practice helps to make the right decision. Let's take the same situation with a car: you like the car, but you doubt whether to buy it or not. A test drive will help answer all your questions, and many auto centers now provide such a service specifically for this purpose.
What to do if, for example, you are thinking about changing your permanent residence? Surely you already know where you want to go to live. The question is very important and requires a serious approach: set aside a month and go to your intended place of future stay to live for this period. During this time, you will be able to understand whether or not it is worth going where you intend to go.
When it comes to work, you can almost always get a probationary period, and if you don't have one, you have the right to quit after a couple of weeks if you don't like it. In exactly the same way, you can “test” almost anything. And if you combine this technique with collecting information, you can completely get rid of any doubts.
- Remember: when making decisions you need to strive for practicality, and it is the empirical approach that allows you to be as practical as possible. In situations where you cannot feel something from your own experience, again turn to the experience of others: look for those people who can give valuable advice and answers to your questions.
Method 9. “Following life priorities”
Each person has his own life values, rules and priorities that influence his choices. Always stick to these values and you can't go wrong. For example, you are offered a choice of two positions: one of them is prestigious and highly paid, but requires a lot of dedication from you; the second is less prestigious and does not have such a high salary, but you don’t have to work overtime and you have a lot of free time. Which one to choose?
To make decisions without doubt and stress, be guided by your life priorities. If your family comes first, then choose a position that is not so prestigious and paid, but will not steal your personal time, which you can devote to loved ones. If you dream of building a career, give preference to a prestigious and highly paid position that will help you move up the career ladder.
Use a random number generator
Another option is to choose between several equivalent options randomly. This method is recommended by venture capitalist Patrick McGinnis. He always has to decide how to conduct his business on the stock exchange, so he hardly thinks about unimportant issues, transferring the choice... to his watch.
Patrick McGinnis
To choose between all sorts of everyday little things, I use the “Consult the Clock” method. I'm narrowing the list of options down to two. Then I assign each option to one side of my watch - right or left. I look at which half of the dial the second hand is on at this moment. Decision is made. It sounds stupid, but if you try this method, you will thank me again. Saves a lot of time.
You might as well roll dice or flip a coin, just like Harvey Dent.
Method 10. “Intuition”
Intuition is a wonderful tool that not everyone knows how to use. She can tell you a way out when rational methods do not bring the desired result. And it often happens like this: you make a choice based on logic and rationality, and this choice seems to you the most correct, but your inner voice persistently protests against it. Maybe we should listen to him?
Develop intuition, and it will become an excellent assistant in different situations, but do not overestimate its role and do not forget about reason and logic.
If you find yourself in a situation of choice, use any of the listed methods, or better yet, use several at once. Over time, you will understand which method suits you best and will be able to use it in a variety of life situations. By learning to make decisions, you will significantly improve the quality of your life.
