If you look at communication from a scientific point of view, then it represents a certain process that can change under different conditions. As a result, in various situations we choose types of communication that are convenient for us at the moment. Or we don’t choose, but then we naturally find ourselves in ambiguous situations with not always a positive outcome. How to prevent this?
The top five talents for success are: focus, caution, organization, innovation and communication. Harold Jenin
Types of communication and suitable situations for them
Communication is not only verbal and non-verbal - this is only one, and far from the deepest side of it. If you observe yourself for at least one day, you will certainly notice how different your style of interaction with different people is. Of course, the situation in which you find yourself also has its influence. As a rule, we choose the type of communication unconsciously, and sometimes we get confused and nervous because of this. For this reason, it is important to clearly understand the differences in types of communication and use them only when appropriate.
How to resist attempts at primitive communication
You can encounter primitive communication not only on the street or in public transport. This is the fault of sellers and numerous consultants and representatives of the bureaucratic system.
This type of communication has a number of characteristics:
- small vocabulary;
- accelerated rate of speech - phrases are pronounced very quickly, in a continuous stream;
- the initiator tries to suppress any objections and does not perceive what is said in response.
You shouldn’t even try to explain something to such a person, because the main thing for him is to fulfill his plans.
If you cannot avoid contact, you must:
- try to interrupt the flow of words, interrupt the speaker’s speech;
- The tone of your voice cannot be raised, you should speak measuredly and clearly;
- express your thoughts correctly, avoid rude expressions;
- The intonation of the voice should be confident and firm.
In this case, it is not recommended to use higher levels of communication.
An intelligent person with a quiet voice and cultured manners will not be able to reach the consciousness of any street boor and bring him to his senses. If you can’t speak the same language with such people, it’s better to quickly retreat.
Abroad, the term “primitive communication” is understood as communication between human individuals in the prehistoric period, when contacts were limited, there was no developed speech, facial expressions were used, attitudes towards fellow humans and emotions were expressed by shouts. The beginnings of communication include ancient rock paintings and sign language.
Contact masks
This is a formal communication familiar to everyone, when the interlocutors are not particularly eager to understand each other and understand the characteristics of individuals. In this kind of communication, we use the usual masks - politeness, indifference, severity, attention, etc. With the help of these masks, we successfully hide our real emotions and attitude towards our interlocutor. This kind of communication is ideal in case of short or superficial contacts with other people, and it is also relevant at the very beginning of acquaintance. “Mask contact” is sometimes really necessary - every day we meet a huge number of people and not all of them are worth communicating so deeply with.
Primitive communication in Dobrovich's classification
Psychiatrist A.B. Dobrovich, the author of books on psychology and psychotherapy, compiled a classification of levels of communication, in which he described each of them in detail:
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- primitive - without observing the norms of communication;
- manipulative - conscious or unconscious control of another person;
- standardized - formal communication using roles and masks;
- conventional - cultural and polite conversations, respectful attitude;
- gaming - typical for people who are in love;
- business - characterized by mutual assistance, loyalty, a common goal; this type of communication is typical of old friends or spouses with a long history of family life;
- spiritual - maximum trust coupled with sincerity and complete acceptance of the interlocutor.
According to A.B. Dobrovich, the level of communication is not stable and may vary depending on the circumstances and location. Thus, communication with your boss at work can be classified as a standardized or conventional level, and in your free time - perhaps as a playful or even spiritual one.
Business conversation
With this type of communication, only those characteristics of a person that influence the business you are doing are important. So, you may know perfectly well that your employee always comes to work in a bad mood, but you don’t know what’s going on in his personal life. Moreover, you often don’t need to know this, not only will it not help your work, but it can also have the completely opposite effect - many people simply do not want everyone around them to be aware of their personal affairs. Of course, a minimum set of knowledge about the interests of employees would be useful, but sometimes you have to do without it.
It is also worth saying that in the case of business communication, it is important to be focused on solving a specific problem, thoughts need to be expressed very clearly, it is worth listening carefully to the interlocutor and adapting to him - everything is in the interests of the business.
Roles
In the role-based type of communication, instead of understanding the individuality of the contact person, they make do with only knowledge of the role that he plays, and in life everyone plays many roles.
A role is a way of behavior that is dictated by society, therefore, for example, it is not typical for a student or a cashier to behave like a military man.
We all live in society, therefore, each of us performs a huge number of social roles (functions). For example, official - subordinate (boss), employee, specialist, scientist, student; everyday - client, tenant, neighbor, buyer; family - husband (wife), son (daughter) and so on.
A social role is a type of human behavior in the system of public, social and personal relations. Simply put, this is a type of behavior of a person occupying a certain social (public) status.
Types of social roles are classified according to social groups, relationships, and types of activities in which the individual participates or is included.
Spiritual, aka interpersonal communication
We resort to this type of communication when we are surrounded by close friends and relatives. We can talk on absolutely any topic, moreover, sometimes even words are not needed - what you wanted to say is understood by facial expression and movements. Of course, it is clear that you should not move to this level of communication with ordinary acquaintances - they will not understand you and will be surprised for a long time as to why you decided to discuss with them the shifts in fundamental concepts in the world's belief systems.
Main characteristics of a social role
The characteristics of the social role were highlighted by the American sociologist Talcott Parsons. Here are the main ones:
- In scope - some roles may be strictly limited, while others are blurred. The scale of the role depends on the breadth of interpersonal relationships, for example, a large scale is established between a wife and husband, since there is a wide range of relationships between them. They are interested in all aspects of each other's lives, therefore, their relationship is not limited. But there are strictly limited relationships, for example, seller and buyer. The interaction between them is carried out on a specific occasion. In this case, the scale of the role is small.
- According to the method of obtaining, social roles are divided into: prescribed and conquered. The method of obtaining a particular role depends on how inevitable it is for a person. For example, roles that are defined by age or gender do not require effort to acquire. But there are roles that must be conquered in the process of life, for example, student, professor, head of department. That is, these are roles that are associated with a person’s profession or achievements.
- According to the degree of formalization: activities can proceed arbitrarily or within strictly established boundaries. The formalization of the role is determined by the specifics of interpersonal relationships. Some roles involve the establishment of exclusively formal relationships, others, on the contrary, informal ones, and still others can combine both formal and informal features. For example, the relationship between a traffic police representative and a traffic rule violator is formal, while relationships within the family are informal. But there are cases when relationships between people develop from formal relationships into informal ones. This happens when people interact with each other for a long time and emotionality and feelings develop in the relationship.
- By type of motivation: personal profit, receiving any benefits, and so on. Motivation depends on a person's motives and needs. Different roles are driven by different motives. The parent takes care of his child, guided by a feeling of love, and the manager works for the sake of the enterprise.
Social communication
This is a very convenient type of communication, which consists of the fact that you can talk about anything, but actually think about something else. It turns out to be a kind of conversation about nothing. Just remember that your interlocutors are last of all interested in your personal opinion on any issue, and expressing it is considered simply bad form. Usually this type of communication is appropriate at all kinds of exhibitions, concerts, on vacation or during a casual acquaintance. Here it was enough to be polite, tactful, to express approval and sympathy.
The concept of role communication: features
The role-based type of communication is the communication of people who are carriers of certain social roles, for example, mother and child, teacher and student, husband and wife. This communication is built according to certain rules that are established by society; these rules are used to simplify the communication process and facilitate the completion of the tasks of each participant. If you play out various situations in a role-playing game, communication in real life becomes much easier.
In some cases, communication according to established social roles is impossible, for example, business negotiations or meetings are subject to business etiquette, and communication within this framework is much more difficult than within the teacher-student framework. In childhood, the business type of communication is practiced in role-playing games, when children agree on what game they will play, or, for example, there are special games in which children gain communication skills in business situations.
Thanks to games, children come together, which creates conditions for the development of collective relationships, and communication develops. Role-playing game develops the ability and desire to play together, the ability to negotiate, rejoice in the success of a friend, share toys, and carry out certain actions together without interfering, but helping each other.
Role conflicts
They arise when the responsibilities of a role are not fulfilled or when one person has a need to simultaneously perform several of his roles that contradict each other. Also, a conflict situation may arise due to a contradiction between the different roles of some employees in the organization.
For example, the head of a department gave the task to write a report on the work done in an hour, but the head of the enterprise insists that the report be of high quality and demands that the head of the department give the employee more time to work.
Manipulative level
At this level, the partner is perceived as a toy or doll that must be controlled in order to gain personal benefit. The manipulator “plays” with the victim, always strives to take a position “on top”. He prepares for this in advance: he searches for and finds the “doll’s” weak points, develops tactics and “sets traps.”
Any manipulative technique is unethical, since it is aimed at another person against his will. Lies, threats, accusations, blackmail, feigned love, feigned weakness, and so on - all these are violent methods aimed at forcing a person to do what the manipulator needs. However, manipulation is sometimes not recognized as such, and the “puppeteer” does not always understand that he is harming his “doll.”
People often descend to this level of communication. And for representatives of some professions (for example, in trade), the ability to manipulate people is a necessary skill.
Place and nature of interpersonal relationships
In the socio-psychological literature, different points of view have been expressed on the question of where interpersonal relationships are “located”, primarily in relation to the system of social relations. The nature of interpersonal relationships can be correctly understood if they are not placed on a par with social relationships, but considered as a special series of relationships that arise within each type of social relationship, and not outside them.
The nature of interpersonal relationships differs significantly from the nature of social relationships: their most important specific feature is their emotional basis. Therefore, interpersonal relationships can be considered as a factor in the psychological “climate” of the group. The emotional basis of interpersonal relationships means that they arise and develop on the basis of certain feelings that people have towards each other. The domestic school of psychology distinguishes three types, or levels of emotional manifestations of personality: affects, emotions and feelings. The emotional basis of interpersonal relationships includes all types of these emotional manifestations.
Relationships between people are formed not only on the basis of direct emotional contacts. The activity itself sets another series of relationships mediated by it. Therefore, an extremely important and difficult task of social psychology is the simultaneous analysis of two series of relationships in a group - both interpersonal and mediated by joint activities, i.e. ultimately the social relations behind them.
All this raises the question of the methodological means of such analysis. Traditional social psychology paid attention mainly to interpersonal relationships, so an arsenal of methodological tools was developed much earlier and more fully to study them. The main of these tools is the method of sociometry, widely known in social psychology, proposed by the American researcher J. Moreno, for whom it is an application to his specific theoretical position. Although the inadequacy of this concept has long been criticized, the methodology developed within this theoretical framework has proven to be very popular.
Thus, we can say that interpersonal relationships are considered as a factor in the psychological “climate” of the group. But to diagnose interpersonal and intergroup relations with the aim of changing, improving and perfecting them, a sociometric technique is used, the founder of which is the American psychiatrist and social psychologist J. Moreno.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
1. Krysko V.G. Social psychology: Course of lectures – 3rd ed.
– M.: Omega-L, 2006. – 352 p.; table, ill. - (Higher School Library.). 2. Lavrinenko V.N. Psychology and ethics of business communication: Textbook for universities. – 4th ed. reworked and additional – M.: UNITY-DANA, 2005. – 415 p.
3. Morozov A.V. Business psychology: Course of lectures. – St. Petersburg: Publishing house SOYUZ, 2000 – 576 p.
4. Stolyarenko L.D. Psychology of business communication and management. Textbook. - Rostov-on-Don: Phoenix, 2005. - 416 p.
5. Shelamova G.M. Business culture and psychology of communication: A textbook for beginners. prof. education. — 7th ed., erased. - M.: Publishing House, 2007. - 160 p.
6. https://ru.wikipedia.org/ - Perception errors.
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Language of rejection
American psychologist and psychotherapist Thomas Gordon spoke about the language of non-acceptance as a cause of misunderstanding and interpersonal conflicts. He argued that most explicit messages (spoken out loud) are supported by an implicit message. A person says, for example: “Do it right now, immediately, without discussion” means in a veiled sense: “Your opinion does not matter, you must follow my orders.” Gordon listed the typical twelve communication blockages:
- to order, to command;
- warning, edification, threat;
- persuasion, moralizing;
- advise, dictate decisions;
- reproach, lecture;
- judge, criticize;
- ridicule, shame, make excuses;
- wrong praise, undeserved approval;
- reassuring, calming;
- distracts, makes you laugh;
- interpretation, diagnosis;
- questioning, inquisitive.
These communication barriers cause the message recipient to:
- anger
- riot
- disappointment
- aggression
- feeling of harm
- dissatisfaction
- low self-esteem
- insulation
- excessive submissiveness
- guilt, which secondarily fuels the spiral of conflict.
How can you counter the language of rejection? Through the so-called “I” Messages. These are direct statements that express a feeling and evoke a reaction from the interaction partner that led to the emotion, e.g. “I get irritated when you interrupt me” or “I’m sorry you forgot my birthday.”
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Role positions
In modern psychology, American psychologist E. Berne analyzed role positions in communication. He took the transaction or psychological state of a person’s inner “I” as the unit of communication. They identified states that manifest themselves in the process of communication in the form of the performance of 3 roles:
- The “Parent” state, which psychologically resembles the state of parents. Based on the forms, styles and methods of teaching and upbringing that were deposited in a person’s consciousness and used by his parents.
- The “Adult” state is based on an objective attitude to events.
- The “Child” state is based on an attitude towards reality that has been preserved since early childhood.
These conditions are quite normal; they repeatedly appear in life situations.
For example, the “Parent” position manifests itself in situations that require an order, a decree, criticism, or a reprimand. Or, conversely, when care, advice, courtship, help, support, sympathy are needed.
The “Child” position manifests itself in resentment, whims, emotional protest, and any behavior that can be described as impulsive or irrational. Or vice versa, when a person is looking for authority, protection, support.
The position in communication of an “Adult” manifests itself in the form of an objective, reasonable approach to events, and is expressed in a calm, self-possessed attitude towards people.