Lecture on the psychology of communication on the topic "Types, levels and functions of communication." communication models. Channels and means of communication"

The very concept of communication has several definitions, which is associated with different views of scientists and specialists on this problem. Each of the specialists in this field offers their own vision and interpretation. We will simply try to reduce everything to a common denominator.

According to the brief psychological dictionary, the concept of communication is a complex multifaceted process aimed at establishing and developing contacts and connections, including the exchange of information, interaction, perception and understanding of the interlocutor.

The meaning of the word "communication" can change. As mentioned above, this is due to different points of view characteristic of different scientists and different times. However, in general, the essence of communication remains unchanged - it is the exchange of information using various means of communication.

Characteristic properties and features of communication

The concept of interpersonal communication has three characteristics: content, functions and means. The content includes the transfer of information, understanding and perception, interaction between interlocutors, influence on each other, mutual assessment and mutual management of activities. The main functions of communication follow from the content, which are divided into communicative, informational, cognitive, emotive, conversational and creative. If at least one function of communication is absent or impaired, it suffers.

Functions, types, levels, structure of communication

Communication is a multifaceted process necessary for organizing contacts between people in the course of joint activities. And in this sense relate to material phenomena. But during communication, its participants exchange thoughts, intentions, ideas, experiences, and not just their physical actions or products, the results of labor. Consequently, communication contributes to the transfer, exchange, coordination of ideal formations that exist in an individual in the form of ideas, perception, thinking, etc.

The functions of communication are diverse.

They can be identified through a comparative analysis of a person’s communication with different partners, in different conditions, depending on the means used and the influence on the behavior and psyche of the participants in communication.

In the system of a person’s relationship with other people, such communication functions are distinguished as information-communicative, regulatory-communicative and affective-communicative.

The information and communication function of communication is, in essence, the transmission and reception of information as a kind of message. There are two components in it: the text (the content of the message) and the attitude of the person (the communicator) towards it. The effectiveness of information transfer can be expressed by the degree of understanding by a person of the transmitted message, its acceptance (rejection), including the novelty and relevance of the information for the recipient (to whom it is transmitted).

The regulatory-communicative function of communication is aimed at organizing interaction between people, as well as at a person’s correction of his activity or condition. An indicator of the effectiveness of the implementation of this communication function is the degree of satisfaction with joint activities and communication, on the one hand, and their results, on the other.

The affective-communicative function of communication is the process of making changes in the state of people, which is possible with both special and involuntary influence. A person’s need to change his state manifests itself as a desire to speak out, pour out his soul, etc. Thanks to communication, a person’s general mood changes, which corresponds to information systems theory. Communication itself can both increase and decrease the degree of psychological stress.

The following communication functions are also distinguished:

— contact;

- informational;

- incentive - stimulation of the partner’s activity to perform certain functions;

— coordination – coordination of actions when organizing joint activities;

- understanding - adequate mutual perception and understanding of the meaning of messages, as well as the intentions of attitudes, experiences of mental states, etc.;

- emotive - arousing the necessary emotional experiences in a partner, as well as changing one’s experiences and states with his help;

- the function of establishing relationships - awareness and fixation of one’s place in the system of role, status, business and other connections with society;

- management function - changing the state, behavior patterns of the partner, including his intentions, attitudes, opinions, decisions, ideas, needs.

Types of communication.

Depending on the content, goals and means, communication can be divided into several types.

1. In terms of content it can be:

1.1 Material

1.2 Cognitive

1.3 Conditioning

1.4 Motivational

1.5 Activity

In material communication, subjects, being engaged in individual activity, exchange its products, which, in turn, serve as a means of satisfying their actual needs. In conditional communication, people exert influence on each other, designed to bring each other into a certain physical or mental state. Motivational communication has as its content the transfer to each other of certain motivations, attitudes or readiness to act in a certain direction. An illustration of cognitive and activity-based communication can be communication associated with various types of cognitive or educational activities.

2. According to goals, communication is divided into:

2.1 Biological

2.2 Social

Biological is communication necessary for the maintenance, preservation and development of the organism. It is associated with the satisfaction of basic organic needs. Social communication pursues the goals of expanding and strengthening interpersonal contacts, establishing and developing interpersonal relationships, and personal growth of the individual.

3. By means of communication can be:

3.1 Direct

3.2 Indirect

3.3 Direct

3.4 Indirect

Direct communication is carried out with the help of natural organs given to a living being by nature: arms, head, torso, vocal cords, etc. Indirect communication is associated with the use of special means and tools for organizing communication and exchanging information. Direct communication involves personal contacts and direct perception of communicating people by each other in the very act of communication. Indirect communication is carried out through intermediaries, who can be other people (for example, negotiations between conflicting parties at the interstate, interethnic, group, family levels).

Among the types of communication, one can also distinguish business and personal, instrumental and targeted. Business communication - its content is what people are doing, and not the problems that affect their inner world. In contrast to business, personal communication, on the contrary, is focused mainly around psychological problems of an internal nature: searching for the meaning of life, determining one’s attitude towards a significant person, towards what is happening around, resolving some internal conflict, etc. Instrumental can be called communication, which is not an end in itself, is not stimulated by an independent need, but pursues some other goal other than obtaining satisfaction from the very act of communication. Target is communication, which in itself serves as a means of satisfying a specific need, in this case the need for communication.

The most important types of communication in humans are verbal and nonverbal communication. Nonverbal communication is communication through facial expressions, gestures and pantomimes, through direct sensory or bodily contact. These are tactile, visual, auditory, olfactory and other sensations and images received from another person.

Verbal communication is inherent only to humans and, as a prerequisite, presupposes the acquisition of language. In terms of its communicative capabilities, it is much richer than all types and forms of nonverbal communication, although in life it cannot completely replace it.

Levels of communication.

Levels of communication are understood as certain behavioral manifestations that make it possible to judge the characteristics of the influence of one partner on the other, and the nature of their interaction.

An interesting hierarchy of communication levels was proposed by A.B. Dobrovich, who identified seven levels of communication:

1. Primitive level. The word “primitive” is clear to everyone and means too simplified, simple, uncomplicated.
2. Manipulative level. At the manipulative level, at least one of the partners tries to resort to various kinds of tricks and tricks in order to obtain a certain benefit for themselves.
3. Standardized level. The standardized level of communication is otherwise called mask contact. When communicating at this level, at least one of the partners strives to hide his true state, as if to hide his face behind an imaginary mask.
4. Conventional level. It turns out that communication partners can also reach a certain agreement, as if concluding a convention on the rules of communication and adhere to these conditional rules when interacting.
5. Game level At the game level, a person wants to be interesting to his partner, he wants to impress him, to please him. Communication at the gaming level is based on partiality for the partner, on a certain sympathy for him, on the desire to continue communication with him.
6. Business level. What comes to the fore here is his business or mental activity, competence in jointly resolved issues, and ability to get things done.
7. Spiritual level: When communicating at this level, partners do not just show interest in each other or take part in joint activities that give them satisfaction.

B.F. Lomov proposes to distinguish three levels:

– macro level – communication of an individual with other people in accordance with established social relations, traditions, and customs. Determines a unique communication strategy for an individual throughout life;

– mesa level – communication within a meaningful topic, one-time or repeated over time;

– micro level – an act of contact that carries an element of content and is expressed in certain external indicators (question-answer, handshake, facial and pantomic act, etc.). Micro level - the simplest elements, cells that underlie other levels of communication

Structure of communication. The structure of communication can be approached in different ways, in this case the structure will be characterized by highlighting three interrelated sides in communication: communicative, interactive and perceptual. Thus, we schematically represent the structure of communication as follows:

The communicative side of communication (or communication in the narrow sense of the word) consists of the exchange of information between communicating individuals. The interactive side consists of organizing interaction between communicating individuals (exchange of actions). The perceptual side of communication means the process of perception and cognition of each other by communication partners and the establishment of mutual understanding on this basis.

The nature of communication and the need for it

A sociable person boldly steps towards new things - new knowledge, new information, new people. Open and inquisitive individuals, without noticing it themselves, provide themselves with a lot of interesting meetings, events, acquaintances, new goals, but the essence of communication, like communication itself, lies not only in this. For every person, the opportunity to communicate with others like themselves is the key to constant replenishment of life’s baggage, intellectual and psychological development. This also reveals the main goals of communication. A feature bestowed by nature helped man survive and establish himself among other, stronger species.

Do you think you would have discovered a passion for the exact sciences or music if you had not gone to school and attended these subjects, no matter how boring they may seem to you initially? No, because communication plays an extremely important role, and a teacher, teaching us a subject during school years, talking with us, students, not only reveals certain abilities, but also helps to develop them, while simultaneously instilling the basic rules of communication.

The structure of communication and its division into levels

Communication can occur both at the verbal level and non-verbal, taking into account movements of the eyes, head, and body. Based on the facial expressions, pantomimics and gestures of the speaker, a person often intuitively understands whether the information he is receiving is reliable.

The levels of communication are as follows:

1. Manipulative. One of the interlocutors is trying to achieve some benefits, trying to evoke a feeling of pity or simple sympathy in the partner, which influences the decision-making.
2. Primitive. One person acts as a communicator and suppresses the others. In this case, other objects act as permanent recipients.
3. Higher. At this level, everyone treats each other equally, regardless of various factors.

Communication is a complex process, the meaning of which initially lies precisely in the transfer of information. Evolution has made many adjustments to the methods of communication that humans use almost subconsciously.

Personality formation

At the stage of a person’s development as an individual, that is, from school years, communication with parents plays a particularly important role. Ideally, you should try to talk with them as much and as often as possible, share news and current events. It is extremely important when talking with parents not to deceive them, to be frank, sincere and honest. These are the goals of communication and their basic rules at this stage.

What seems incomprehensible to schoolchildren, for example, a parental ban, in most cases turns out to be the right decision. Just imagine if in our teenage years we were allowed absolutely everything. Probably, troubles would have followed us at every step, and we, being still children, would have had no idea how to get out of them.

The period of adolescence is especially important in the development of a person and his communication skills, in parallel with which the psyche develops. A person learns the essence of communication while he is growing up, studying at school, university. During this time, life’s baggage is replenished not only with scientific knowledge, but also with ordinary life skills, experience, both other people’s and one’s own. At this stage, for the most part, you have to be in contact with peers, but this incredibly helps the formation of personality. True, if only you adhere to the basic rules of human communication.

Sides of communication

Types of communication in psychology - what they include, its functions
Characterizing the structure of communication, in psychology there are 3 interconnected aspects:

• perceptual;
• interactive;
• communicative.

Each of them has its own characteristics.

The communicative side of communication

The term “communication” originates from the English. communicate, which means “to convey”, “to report”. This type of contact is aimed at exchanging information, which includes:

• feelings;
• emotions;
• values;
• thoughts;
• ideas.

The communication process, according to researcher Harold Lasswell, consists of 5 elements that help information reach the addressee:

• communicator - deals with the transmission of messages;
• speech information or text - what the person to whom the message is intended must learn;
• channel – how the exchange is carried out;
• audience or recipient - the addressee to whom the information is sent;
• effectiveness is the result of assimilation of the received message.

The communicative side largely depends on the subjective information content of the individual, that is, on the characteristics of the person, his degree of awareness about the interlocutor and the topic of the conversation.

Communication side

Important! If a person's knowledge level is low, misunderstandings are likely to occur.

Example 1. A teacher is teaching new material during a social studies lesson. If he communicates with children in a professional language, without simplifying scientific terminology, not a single student will be able to understand the content of the information message.

Example 2. A person who does not know etiquette will not be accepted in a society where everyone tries to act according to the rules. An uncultured person simply will not be understood.

The exchange of information between people can occur through 2 channels:

1. Non-verbal - with the help of gestures, facial expressions, signs;
2. Verbal - using speech.

According to psychologist Allan Pease, 60-70% of all information is transmitted through brief non-verbal contact.

Perceptual side of communication

Perception, or the perceptual side of communication in psychology, is a form of human interaction that is aimed not only at perceiving and understanding the interlocutor, but also at his acceptance.

Social perception

Additional Information. If 2 people share each other's beliefs, culture and values, affection, friendship or love can develop between them.

Perceptual communication helps you “read” the people around you. By analyzing your interlocutor, you can “see” that he did not tell about himself. If your own perception is misinterpreted, conflict may arise.

Social perception helps:

1. Understand yourself. Social interaction with society is a good means of obtaining information about one's own personality. Identifying yourself with the interlocutor helps you consider your own hidden desires, needs and fears.
2. Develop emotional interaction, for example, sympathy, friendship, hostility.
3. Study your partner. Perception allows us to understand the ethics of other people. With its help, you can find the individuals you need for life and work.
4. Organize joint activities with one person or a whole group of people. Thanks to knowledge of the values, motives and attitudes of a partner, it is easier to work with him as a team.
5. Develop mutual understanding. Communication based on common views and interests is the key to a good mood and a fruitful exchange of information.

Thanks to perception, a person is able to understand the society in which he lives, as well as build relationships with people using the knowledge gained.

The interactive side of communication

The main focus of the interactive side of communication is building a strategy for subsequent effective communication.

Important! High-quality exchange of information is necessary for people to organize joint activities.

Interactive side

Among the basic principles of building interactive communication, the following four options can be distinguished:

• the presence of common motives and goals;
• high-quality transmission of verbal and non-verbal messages;
• common time and space for joint work;
• presence of coordination of actions.

Despite the fact that all requirements are the same for all persons involved in communication, the behavior of participants may differ from each other. Most often, human interaction is divided into 2 main types:

1. Cooperation. This type assumes that participants who have the same goals coordinate and combine their forces to achieve a positive result that will satisfy everyone.
2. Competition. With this type of interaction, each participant is interested only in his own success.

In addition to the main types, other behavioral strategies can be found in the psychological literature, for example:

1. Compromise is a temporary agreement to achieve partners’ goals in order to maintain relationships and conditional equality.
2. Altruism or compliance. A person is able to refuse to achieve his own goals in favor of the desires of his partner.
3. Avoidance, which is expressed in ignoring contact and abandoning one’s own goals in order to exclude the gain of another participant.

All aspects of communication that are included in the structure of communication complement each other and are interconnected. Effective contact is only possible when all 3 processes are involved.

How did it all begin?

Have you ever thought about why a person needs communication? Try to imagine that during evolution the speech apparatus would not have begun to develop, and people themselves would not have shown any desire to somehow contact each other. What do you think, if a person had no desire to communicate and obtain new information, and therefore all the functions of communication would have been absent, there would have been evolution in the form in which we see it now and have seen it since humanity became interested in development all living things? Would we even have the slightest idea of ​​what evolution is? The answer is clear: none of this would have happened. Communication played a role; in fact, it is the basis for the survival of all complex species, which is developed in many living organisms. And even if they present it not in the form to which we are accustomed, nevertheless...

Communication is the key to the development of civilization, the indestructible foundation of society. However, it is worth understanding that this does not only mean the sounds that we are able to reproduce with our speech apparatus. Deaf and mute people also “talk” to each other, although they use gestures rather than words to do this.

Communication in any of its forms is the exchange of information, the only possible option for transferring new knowledge, skills, experience to other people, because this is the only way to help each other, to help the human species survive and develop further, but this is not the only function of communication.

What role does communication play in human life?

The question of why a person needs communication is answered by the history of primitive society. Human speech is the “first child” of communication, which among primitive people occurred through gestures. It was then that the first rules of communication were formed, general concepts and the designation of objects were born, and then writing was formed. This is how society and society as a whole were born, and rules of interpersonal communication were established that are still in effect today.

The normal, full formation of the psyche, as well as its further development, cannot be imagined without communication. Consequently, the role of communication in human life is extremely high. This is the only way to exchange information, perceive and understand the world around us. Communication is what distinguishes the human species from other species living on Earth.

It is impossible to underestimate the role of communication in a person’s professional activity. This is a specific type of interpersonal interaction, since professional activities have their own rules of communication, limited by generally accepted rules of behavior and interpersonal relationships within one organization (company). This is also called corporate ethics.

Functions or features in communication

Interaction between partners is supported by 8 main functions:

1. A contact function that requires more communication to establish connections and understand people.
2. With the help of the information function, understanding is established among partners by generating, transmitting and receiving information.
3. For incentive functions, the main thing is managing the partner, stimulating him to take actions.
4. The coordination function is used to carry out correct relationships and joint work individually, in groups and in society.
5. The emotive function is associated with changing one’s own mood and involves arousing the necessary emotional experiences in a partner.
6. The function of understanding is related to meaning and meaning, where fantasy and imagination help. The function is needed to understand the goals of the contact and to develop the business.
7. The influence function controls and adjusts mutual positions to change the behavior and internal state of the partner.
8. With the function of relationships, a person’s views change, new relationships are formed between partners, new interests and the right people appear.

Functions according to purpose:

1. A pragmatic function that accompanies joint work and reflects the needs and motives of the subject.
2. The function of formation, development and improvement.
3. With the help of the confirming function, a person is affirmed in his own thoughts, getting to know himself.
4. The task of the unifying and separating function is to transmit information and information when contacts are established, bringing people together.
5. To maintain interpersonal contacts, the organizational function is used.
6. With the intrapersonal function, a person conducts a mental dialogue with his own “I” using internal and external speech.

Why does a person need communication?

It doesn’t matter whether you are a sociable person or a withdrawn introvert who is used to being alone, everyone needs communication. The social need to talk with others like oneself is a natural need, and without its satisfaction it is impossible to feel complete.

Communication plays a vital role in human life. The difference may lie only in its quantity and frequency. So, for someone it will be enough to go somewhere with friends once or twice a week and talk with them in order to cheer up and improve their well-being, and for the rest of the days such a person may well be alone. But for some, communication plays a more important role - such a person cannot spend even 20 minutes alone with himself, begins to suffer from boredom and experiences an irresistible desire to contact someone. By the way, such a desire is more aimed at the process itself, and not at its final result.

What creates the desire to communicate?

People are eager to communicate, you can call it a banal desire, but a more correct term is a need.

So, with a high probability we can say that in children communication is an innate need. It is formed under the influence of the activity exhibited by adults present nearby, and often occurs around two months.

But teenagers are convinced that they experience an irresistible desire to communicate. They are also convinced that they can do this as much as they see fit. This is why most teenagers protest against adults' attempts to control their need to spend time with friends, and therefore to have friendly conversations. At this stage, we should not forget about the basic functions of communication, which play a role in the formulation of communication skills.

In adults, the need for communication is also quite strong. Many men and women, having less contact with someone than they themselves want, begin to plunge into negativity.

Lack of interpersonal contacts and its consequences

The degree to which a person needs to contact and interact with his own kind determines his life as a whole and his location (place) in society. This could be family, work team, friends, school, university group. A person deprived of the opportunity to talk and contact with other people, and therefore unable to perform all the functions of communication, will never be able to become a social person, join society and develop culturally. It will only resemble a person in appearance.

“Mowgli children”, deprived of the opportunity to contact and interact with representatives of their species immediately after birth or in early childhood, prove this fact, and therefore how important the role of communication is in human life. Being isolated from human speech, they naturally have no idea what it’s like to talk to someone. The body of such individuals develops naturally, but the development of the psyche is delayed, or even does not occur at all. The main reason for this lies in the lack of communicative experience with other people, and therefore in the absence of all communication functions. Actually, such cases, like nothing else, prove how important it is for a person to contact and talk with other people.

Three sides of communication

The structure of communication conditionally divides it into three processes that are interconnected and interdependent:

Social perception - the perception of an interaction partner

People perceive each other through their senses, evaluate their appearance, speech, behavior and draw conclusions about the possibility of continuing social contact

The first impression is especially important. How another person is perceived for the first time, when meeting for the first time, influences the willingness to exchange information and interact with him.

Communication – exchange of information

Contacts are meaningless if people do not know how to convey the necessary information, knowledge and experience to each other verbally and non-verbally.

Interaction – exchange of actions

A conversation without the ability to perform actions that affect the interlocutor and exchange actions with him would be ineffective and ineffective.

The versatility of communication for purposes

For what and why a person, like any other living being, exhibits this kind of activity such as communication and the need for it - these are the main goals of communication. Thus, animals communicate to encourage their own kind to take certain actions or to warn them to refrain from any action. This process is subject exclusively to animal instincts, which, in fact, are guided by representatives of the fauna.

But the goals of human communication are much greater - in addition to satisfying the natural biological needs characteristic of animals, the satisfaction of cultural, social, creative, cognitive, aesthetic, intellectual, moral and other needs is also added to human interaction. Why does a person need communication? To satisfy all these needs. Speech interaction between people can safely be called multi-purpose, and the goals to which it is aimed provide more than an extensive answer to the question, why does a person need communication and what is it?

Styles and classification

Based on some features, communication in a person’s life can be divided into direct (immediate) and indirect (mediated). In the first case, communication between the interlocutors occurs directly; they communicate with each other using appropriate facial expressions, gestures, intonation and tone.

In the second case, information between interlocutors is not transmitted directly, but indirectly (letters, documentation, media, etc.). It is worth noting that direct communication has better effectiveness and impact on the interlocutor than indirect communication. However, the first type can be more subject to emotions, since such communication in the life of every person occurs in real time, and the second - to common sense, since there is time to comprehend the situation and analyze it.

There are also formal and informal types of communication, from which it follows that relationships between people are business and personal. Consequently, the rules of communication for each of the two types will be different. In the first case, sympathy or antipathy is expressed towards each other, respect or lack thereof, trust or distrust. But business communication is the relationship that develops between people who are members of certain social groups and organizations. It is based on the rights and obligations existing in a particular group (organization). Consequently, the role of communication in a person’s professional activity and its role in everyday life are significantly different. If in the first case a person is limited by certain frameworks and rules dictated by the organization (company), then in the second he is limited only by his own opinion, desires and character traits. What may be common here is perhaps the role of education, but not the role of communication in general.

By what means does communication take place?

Communication means include tools with which people have daily contact, encoding, transforming and deciphering methods and techniques of interaction. These means include non-verbal (non-speech) and verbal (speech) communication.

For nonverbal communication, contact is performed without the use of words or conversation, and more often at an unconscious but controlled level. Such communication complements and strengthens, or contradicts and weakens verbal contact. With the help of facial expression, gaze, body movements and postures, visual contact and distance to the interlocutor, the conversation is emotionally supplemented and filled with information. Understanding facial expressions, gestures, and smiles allows you to determine in advance how the conversation will go. These methods will also help influence your partner.

Without verbal (verbal) communication, it is difficult to convey information and perform difficult work together. Verbal means consist of language, intonation and speech, which is divided into internal (mental) speech, external (spoken), open or closed.

With the help of language, information is communicated, humanity develops, people share thoughts and reasoning.

Interlocutors communicate using:

• spoken language for everyday contacts, where the use of jargon and slang is permitted;
• literary language, where the norms and rules of conversation are adhered to;
• artificial languages ​​where speech is not used (in Morse code, in the language of the deaf and dumb, in ciphers and in computer languages).

Intonation, the emotional coloring of speech, is used to convey semantic coloring to identical phrases.

Speech, as a verbal means of communication, is influenced by the sphere of life: for personal life, the main thing is the content and intonation of the sentence, for business communication – the clear and understandable content of speech.

Another means of communication is called play, which is often used by children to interact with each other or with adults. Play is needed to discover talents, learn new things, for relaxation, for physical development and for education.

The art of interpersonal communication

Communication is a natural process. Under ideal circumstances, all people should have free contact with each other. But in reality, in real life, some individuals experience a fear of communication, which is called social phobia. In this case, the need for contact with other people is practically or completely absent. Often, such fear arises in adolescence, which is the most difficult stage in the life of any person.

If the first experience of conscious entry into society, the first communication with someone is negative, then in the future such a person will experience problems with interpersonal connections. This minimizes the need for conversations and conversations with others like oneself, often leads to isolation or creates a desire to avoid such “irritants,” that is, society as a whole. The importance of communication in human life cannot be overestimated. It is an art and skill that is acquired over the years. It is quite natural that a person’s communication skills depend not only on his personal characteristics, but also on the environment in which he was (is) at different stages of his life.

However, by following the rules of interpersonal communication, you can avoid many troubles:

• speak to another person in the way that you yourself consider best and only true;
• show respect to the person you are talking to;
• Express trust and understanding in the person you are talking to.

Following simple rules

As a rule, conversations with family, friends and relatives do not cause us any difficulties. We experience the strongest desire to talk with such people, especially since we know very well about their reaction to certain statements, remarks, news. The desire to communicate with strangers is not so high, but often it is forced and necessary. You need to talk to strangers only in a positive way, showing only positive qualities and character traits, being friendly. It is better to do this with a smile on your face, following the existing rules of communication. It is even more important that the phrases you say are appropriate.

Finally, we bring to your attention several effective recommendations for competently building interpersonal relationships and interacting with others:

• be sensitive and attentive to the inner world of your interlocutor;
• remember, everyone deserves respect;
• show interest in the interlocutor, find positive qualities in him;
• do not pay attention to minor shortcomings, everyone has them; there are no ideal people;
• develop your own sense of humor and self-irony.