“Why are you setting yourself up for bad things?” - everyone has heard this phrase at least once when they were afraid of something, were upset, or did not want to get down to business, believing that nothing would work out. Agree, sometimes this is wildly annoying. What does “don’t set yourself up” mean? Can we really control our mood so easily? It turns out we can.
In this article we will tell you:
- What are installations and why do we need them?
- How human attitudes are formed.
- Attitudes that slow us down on the path to happiness.
- How to discover your “inhibiting” attitudes?
- How to get rid of interfering settings.
It happens that we receive a long-awaited job offer, but we refuse it without understanding why. We see a chance for change in our personal lives, but we do nothing. Instead of joy and anticipation of something new, we are overcome by a strange feeling, as if something is slowing us down and forcing us to act according to a certain pattern. This something is our attitudes.
What is a psychological attitude
A psychological attitude is a kind of program for the brain. She tells you what to do in familiar situations. For example, when we wake up, we no longer tell ourselves that we need to go brush our teeth and wash our face, because this is important for our health, and we don’t remind ourselves of this once again, but just take it and do it.
Installations save our brain from overload. Most of our activities are carried out unconsciously, that is, on autopilot. As for physical activity, almost everything here is based on autopilot. For example, you don’t think about how to walk. Once you mastered this skill, you repeated it many times and now you do it automatically.
Features of psychological attitudes:
- Everyone has them. From the first days of life, a person’s system of beliefs and ideas begins to form, which is also a system of psychological attitudes.
- None of the people sees the world objectively. Everyone has their own truth, which is based on a personal system of attitudes.
- The installation system is a movable structure. It changes under the influence of external factors or when a person consciously influences his own beliefs. For example, a person is used to deciding everything by force and shouting, but he suddenly came across someone who did not deviate from his convictions even under such oppression. Later the situation repeated itself. And the man began to doubt the correctness of his position.
- Psychological beliefs determine the direction of life. Have you ever wondered why people with conditionally identical initial data (for example, children from the same family) live different lives (some people become drunkards, others become businessmen)? It's all about psychological attitudes. Perhaps at one time they were the same for these children, but then one child began to develop along a different path.
The principle of psychological attitudes is used in psychology to correct thinking and behavior, in sports to achieve better results, and in any type of activity. After all, in essence, we are talking about the formation of habits - skills brought to automaticity. The installation is a familiar algorithm proven by multiple repetitions. This is a template that we are used to using in a specific situation. The system of attitudes shapes a person’s worldview.
Important! The installations help save energy and time. However, it is important to have psychological beliefs that promote development in life, rather than hinder it.
I build my life myself
You are capable of conquering any heights if you only plan your actions and success in advance. And yes, success is a planned action and rarely an accident.
Every new day gives us a new opportunity. And you can fill it with exactly what matters most to you. You build your own life, and life doesn’t happen to you, right?
Start your day with positive thoughts that you are in complete control of every aspect of your life, and soon you will see amazing things begin to happen to you.
Types of installations
Psychological beliefs permeate our entire lives. They vary in scope and scale. For example, the habit of washing oneself before going to bed and the habit of responding to a scream with a cry are two examples of psychological attitudes, but completely different. Let's take a closer look at what they are:
- General and differentiated. The first should be understood as stereotypes. For example: “All blondes are stupid”, “Driving a car is not a woman’s business”, etc. Differentiated beliefs include more specific judgments. For example, a student at a particular university says about a certain teacher: “Yes, he lowers his grades all the time.” Both general and differentiated judgments are based on someone's individual experience or the opinion of an authoritative person.
- Semantic, purposeful and operational. The first reflect a person’s understanding of certain things: “Why study biology if it won’t be useful to me in life anyway?” The latter determine a person’s activity: “You cannot take on something new until you have mastered the old one perfectly.” Operational beliefs determine the specifics of performing actions: “First I need to solve work problems, and only then I can take care of my personal affairs.” Thus, these attitudes determine why, what and how a person does.
- Conscious and unconscious. Yes, before we said that beliefs are unconscious, but sometimes they are perfectly conscious. For example, if a person says to himself: “I need to devote an hour every day to learning a foreign language so that I can come for an interview at the company of my dreams.” And here is an example of an unconscious attitude: the parents did not insult the child directly, but pushed him away all the time, criticized him a lot, as a result of which he formed the belief “I am bad, no one needs me.”
- Limiting and stimulating growth. For example, if a child is told that he cannot be a pianist with short fingers, he will not even touch the instrument, despite a strong desire. And if a person knows that success is 1% talent and 99% work, then he will start playing a musical instrument. Maybe he won’t become a great musician, but he will have a favorite hobby, a source of strength and an outlet.
Types of installations by function:
- Instrumental. The goal is to get a reward or avoid problems.
- Informational. The goal is to broaden your horizons or learn something new.
- Value-based. The goal is to maintain commitment to your value system and self-esteem, self-respect.
- Protective. The goal is to preserve health and life, honor and dignity, personal boundaries and status.
- Social. The goal is to maintain belonging to a group or become part of a certain group, to find one’s place in the world, to solve the problem of self-identification.
In addition, psychological beliefs can be different in orientation: in relation to the person himself and in relation to the world. E. Bern wrote a lot about this. He also identified the following options for attitudes (life scenarios):
- I am good and you are good - this is the attitude of a leader, a winner in life.
- I am good and you are bad - this is the attitude of egocentrics, arrogant types and manipulators.
- I am bad and you are good - this is the attitude of a victim, a loser in life.
- I am bad and you are bad - this is the attitude of asocial types, nihilists.
A person’s attitude towards himself and the world is formed in early childhood and is based on the child’s relationship with his parents. For a child, they are the prototype of the whole society. It is the parents who say with their words and their attitude towards the child what he is like. And they also make it clear what they are like, that is, the whole world.
In addition, beliefs can be long-term or short-term. For example, if a person lives by the principle “Men don’t cry” or “Tears are weakness” and always forbids himself such a manifestation of feelings, then this is a long-term attitude. And if in a specific situation a person inspires himself: “The main thing is not to burst into tears when you say this,” then this is a short-term attitude.
A Step-by-Step Plan for Identifying Negative Beliefs
Before working through negative beliefs, you need to identify your blocks and negative attitudes. And how to do it? How to find your limiting beliefs?
To determine your negative attitudes, you need to take a set of consistent actions.
- First step
Each of us has an area of our life that does not bring satisfaction. Be it relationships with family, work colleagues, or self-realization and finding what you love.
First of all, we need to realize that our life is in our hands, and only we have the power to change it. We ourselves are responsible for our reality, not mom, dad, husband or angry boss at work.
As soon as you have chosen the area you want to work with, you record it on an A4 sheet or in a notepad. Write it down where it is convenient.
Next, describe the whole situation, some problem that worries you and that you want to solve. Write down the smallest details. Right down to the look that was directed at you. The more detailed you describe the problem or situation, the more accurately you can identify your blocks and negative beliefs.
Structure
Psychological beliefs are a life script. Beliefs determine our activity. All life comes down to proving the correctness of the main goal. And here it is important to understand how significant the nature of the installation is. For example, if a person believes that no one needs him, then he will spend his whole life alone, because unconsciously, in order to confirm the correctness of his belief, he himself will push people away and ruin relationships.
Note! The structure of beliefs includes 3 components: cognitive (thoughts), emotional (feelings and emotions) and behavioral (actions). If it is necessary to adjust some setting, then you need to work in all three directions.
Let's take a closer look at what psychological attitudes are like in structure.
Fixed
The structure of belief includes the experience and needs of a person. In a given situation, a person acts as he has already acted in similar circumstances.
Social
The basis is the need for social contacts. Social belief is a person’s attitude towards society, the processes and events that occur in it.
Uznadze's theory
According to Uznadze’s theory, the structure of belief includes a need and a situation that can satisfy it. The attitude predetermines the conscious behavior of a person and can only arise when a person comes into contact with the environment.
Psychological barrier
Negative beliefs about oneself, combined with low self-esteem, form a psychological barrier. This can also be considered as a belief - an attitude to remain silent, to withdraw into oneself in situations of social interaction. This attitude also manifests itself in the form of passivity when performing any responsible task.
Positive
Such beliefs consist of faith in friendship, love, loyalty, devotion and a person's good attitude towards himself and the world. Positive attitudes make a person happy and help them achieve success in life.
Negative
Such beliefs consist of a person's negative attitude towards himself and other people, as well as a belief in the injustice of the world. Negative attitudes make a person unhappy and interfere with personal development. People with a negative attitude towards themselves and the world often get sick.
Levels
- the simplest form – regulates behavior in everyday life;
- social;
- basic social – the individual’s attitude to his areas of life (profession and work, interests, family);
- instrumental - acceptance and inclusion in the set of norms that have developed in society.
Attitude controls activity at 3 hierarchical stages:
- Semantic - is of a general nature and determines people’s position towards objects and events that are important to them.
- Target. Determines the relatively stable course of functioning and has a connection with the desire to bring the task to its logical conclusion.
- Operational. The perception of a specific phenomenon occurs through previous experience, as well as through forecasting the possibilities of productive actions and decision-making under certain circumstances.
Methods of influence
How to understand that you are guided by a psychological attitude:
- in your speech the words “must” and “must” prevail instead of “want”;
- you react emotionally to everything that happens (in a positive or negative way);
- you resort to generalizations (putting everyone under the same brush);
- you are carried away by value judgments and talk in stereotypes and sayings.
If you understand that the learned and habitual patterns of behavior are not leading you where you would like, then you need to change your beliefs. Remember that the quality and standard of your life, as well as your happiness and satisfaction with your life, depend on them. There are special methods or types of influence on oneself or another person in order to change attitudes.
Wisdom from the people
Historical events necessarily leave their mark on people's consciousness. For example, if you look at a woman who survived the war, she understands that she can only rely on herself.
Unconsciously, these attitudes are passed on to children, which affects their lives in modern society. Folk wisdom can also be attributed to this point. Various proverbs and sayings can become fundamental in life.
Types of influence
Let's look at the main types of psychological influence for correcting attitudes. Note that influence can be unintentional, such as when one person becomes a role model for another person, and intentional, such as when a parent explains to a child what is good and what is bad. And also any influence can be both negative and positive for the one who adopts the attitudes.
Persuasion or argumentation
Persuasion is the influence of one person on the emotions, thoughts and actions of another through the presentation of indisputable facts that are significant for the object of influence. That is, this is a change in a person’s beliefs through arguments in favor of new attitudes. Influence is carried out in the process of conversation, discussion, discussion, dialogue.
Infection
Infection is a direct impact on a person’s state and emotions, bypassing the cognitive component. With the help of his energy, one person encourages others to do the same as he does. This technique works especially well in a crowd. Then people begin to become infected from each other, and not just from the leader. In this case, it doesn’t matter what a person says, it’s important how he says it. The stronger the charge, the higher the likelihood that others will begin to repeat the actions of the leader, without particularly going into the essence and content.
Suggestion
Suggestion is the influence on a person’s thoughts, emotions and behavior through uncritical perception. That is, a person is not given time to analyze, evaluate judgments, or is forbidden to critically analyze what is said, but instead is forced to take everything on faith. As a rule, first a person plays on the emotions of the person to whom he wants to instill some kind of attitude, and then, having achieved the desired state, he begins to “pour into the ears.”
Affirmations are suitable for self-hypnosis - positive statements that a person says to himself. For example: “I am strong”, “I am beautiful”, “I am brave”, etc.
Imitation
Imitation is copying words, reactions, behavior, hobbies, appearance and everything else from one person to another. As a rule, they imitate those they envy or admire. One way or another, the one who imitates wants to have something that he does not have, but the object to be imitated has.
Doubts again?
It may seem to you that it is impossible to change in this way, that you need to spend a lot of time on it. If you think that this is a long, painful, painful process, that you cannot simply change your beliefs, think about this thought! Maybe you're scared to change? Maybe we should change this idea too?
Think about what prevents you from accepting new attitudes? Do you want to love yourself and others? Are you ready to seek love by loving, rather than expecting others to love you first? Are you able to let go of the past and reach for the future? Do you want to take responsibility for your life and agree that we ourselves create our reality? Think about it.
Give up feeling sorry for yourself, do not shift responsibility to other people. Your beliefs sit deep, so resistance may arise, you will find new arguments to confirm your old thoughts.
If you change your belief, but your life and feeling of life do not change, then, in fact, your attitude has not changed. Changes are hampered by deeper attitudes, track and analyze them.
If you follow these recommendations, your sense of life may begin to change within a few days, some may take longer, but either way you will feel a change.
I wish you success in mastering these exercises. This is a very important step towards gaining basic self-confidence. If you have any questions about doing the exercises, feel free to write to me in the section by email
Maxim Vasilchenko, graphologist
Additional methods
The methods of psychological influence described above are used by people most often, but there are other, less popular methods of forming beliefs.
Favor
The goal is to increase a person’s loyalty to a certain belief. And for this, a person describes all the advantages and benefits of his installation. If another person is imbued with this, that is, becomes supportive, then he also adopts this belief.
Request
A calm pace of speech, a quiet tone, a smile, a couple of compliments, a small personal story - a set that increases the chances of success if you ask someone for something. A request can influence a person’s behavior, and based on this, he will form a new belief.
Self-promotion
This is a way to influence yourself. The point is that you demonstrate your best qualities, skills, knowledge. Due to this, your self-esteem increases and you achieve great success.
Compulsion
Like the two subsequent techniques, this is a cruel and destructive method of influence. Coercion involves changing a person's attitudes by playing on his survival instinct. Coercion involves the use of violence, blackmail, threats, and restriction of freedom.
Attack
Out of his own pain, a person attacks another, trying to convince him that he is bad. If we are talking about a moral attack, then this is shouting and insults. If we are talking about physical influence, then we are talking about the desire to convince a person of his physical weakness and worthlessness.
Manipulation
There are dozens of manipulative techniques, but they all have one goal - to force a person to do what is beneficial to the manipulator.
I am a great
Believing that you are great is one of the most powerful internal beliefs. You may not think of yourself as a great person now, but repeating this affirmation over and over again will one day make you believe it. Science has long proven that talking to oneself leads to inevitable changes in the brain.
A striking example of how this affirmation works is the legendary boxer Mohammed Ali. Watch his interview tapes and you'll notice how often he used this phrase. Ultimately he became great.
My example of a psychological attitude
Examples of my psychological attitudes:
- there is no place for violence and aggression in relationships;
- any emotions and feelings must be expressed and worked out;
- you need to do your job well, no matter what condition you are in, otherwise don’t take the job;
- a healthy relationship is a union of two financially, morally and physically independent people;
- I am worthy of love and know how to love;
- everything can be changed while a person is alive;
- the past does not determine the future;
- every person has advantages and disadvantages;
- it is important to maintain internal balance, to monitor the harmony between thoughts and actions;
- in any unpleasant situation you need to look for opportunities for growth;
- There are no hopeless situations - we are not always satisfied with a visible solution.
This is just a small part of the attitudes with which I live. In fact, there are probably thousands of them. Some of them are conscious, and some are unconscious. I have already dealt with some of the destructive unconscious attitudes. How? In psychology this is called cognitive behavioral psychotherapy. First, you identify all problem situations, then create a new algorithm of actions within these situations and begin practice. You repeat the same thing several times (usually many times).
At first it is difficult, but every time it gets easier. Over time, your brain will restructure itself and you will acquire a new pattern of behavior. This program will already become familiar to you. Using this technique, you can fight any unwanted mental conditions, for example, phobias, complexes, fears and other disorders. In general, you change your way of thinking from minus to plus, you have additional energy for new successes.
Story
The concept arose after a study by W. Thomas and F. Znaniecki was published in 1918. Scientists analyzed letters from people who emigrated from Poland to the United States. It turned out that when emigrants went to a foreign country, having determined for themselves that this was a temporary need to earn money, the period of their adaptation passed slowly and, one might say, even painfully. They had a hard time learning the language and culture and for a long time they could not get along in the new place.
But there were also those who moved with the idea of staying in the country forever and starting life anew. And such individuals adapted to unusual conditions much faster and more productively.
As a result of these observations, the researchers concluded that each individual consciously or subconsciously forms an internal attitude towards his own presence in the United States. And existence and motivation depend on it. This phenomenon is called “attitude”.
But this was only the beginning of studying this issue. In 1929, Lewis Thurstone created the first ways to measure installations. He began to assert the presence of an emotional factor in its structure.
There were also opposing opinions. For example, scientist V. Park believed that the state is not subject to direct observation. It is latent in nature and develops through life experience.
Besides this, there were many other theories. But the work of W. Thomas and F. Znaniecki gave impetus to their emergence and development and made the phenomenon central to psychology.
General orientation of the individual
Let's consider the third level of disposition. It characterizes the general orientation of the individual into a certain sphere of social action. At this level, a person’s needs regarding his social connections become more complex. For example, an individual strives to join one or another area of activity, wanting to turn it into the main dominant sphere.
Here options such as professionalism, leisure or family may be considered. In this case, a person’s purposeful and consistent actions form the basis of his behavior in the area of activity where he pursues more distant and significant goals.
