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Many experts believe that modern children reach adolescence much earlier than past generations: not at 13–14, but from 11 to 13 years.
What it means to “be a teenager” is clear to everyone, because every adult has gone through this period. It is from 11 to 13 years of age that parents can still influence the formation of the child’s personality, character and habits. I am a Parent talks about how parents and children can prepare for the “most difficult age”.
The path from pure child to teenager
Each stage of a child’s growing up has interesting features. Often parents are frightened by this prospect of the unknown; they are simply shocked by the teenager’s behavior. In some cases, they are lost and do not know what actions to take. Therefore, they need to know what changes occur in a teenager’s body at the age of 12-13. It is also necessary to clearly understand how the psychology of a growing child at 13 and 16 years old differs. The thing is that many parents do not see their child as an adult boy or girl, regardless of their “respectable” age.
Adolescence - signs
To avoid such problems with assessing children, you need to understand that a person who has reached the age of 12 has moved into the category of a teenager.
Starting from this period, parents need to begin to take their child more seriously, taking into account all the features that characterize the psychology of this transitional age.
When to worry
Although all children develop slightly differently, it is important to monitor how your child is developing.
Some emotional or mental health problems can arise in the early teens, and if you notice any warning signs, it's important to seek professional help.
If your 13-year-old child refuses to shower or has hygiene issues, this may be a cause for concern. By this age, teenagers should be able to take care of their bodies without much prompting.
If your child is struggling academically, this may also be a cause for concern. Sometimes learning disabilities or ADHD do not become apparent until adolescence. Talk to your child's teachers or discuss the problem with your child's pediatrician if you are concerned.
Word from mentalar
The teenage years can be a bit of a rollercoaster for both you and your teen. But if you lay the foundation now by teaching your teen the skills needed to make good decisions, the teenage years don't have to be turbulent.
When your teen makes mistakes, look at it as an opportunity to help him hone his skills. If they make the same mistakes repeatedly or struggle with specific problems, seek professional help.
Changes in adolescents at 12 years of age
12 years is a period of active physiological and psychological changes in a child’s life. It is during this period that the teenager begins to associate himself with the adult generation. This may manifest itself in the form of adopting other people's mannerisms in order to appear a little older. A boy at the age of 12 begins to pay attention to his current physical condition. The question of what he looks like becomes especially important to him. A girl at this age begins to actively take care of her appearance. This is where the first experiments with cosmetics begin.
Appearance problems are starting to worry teenagers
Parents should not panic about such changes, but rather take care of the health of their teenager and buy her natural cosmetics without chemicals.
The primary stage of adolescence may be accompanied by some slowness; this is an absolutely normal phenomenon and should not be alarmed. This feature appears in a teenager due to changes in the connection between memory and thinking. At this moment, more conscious remembering and comprehension of the material covered occurs. At this time, the boy begins to actively listen to adult criticism addressed to him. This increased interest in the opinions of others can provoke many far-fetched fears in a teenager.
The emotional sphere of adolescents - features
A new milestone for turning 16
16 years is a special age. In some countries, such as Cuba, children reach adulthood. In Russia, this age is officially approved from 18 years. However, the minimum threshold in some cases drops to 16 years. The child becomes quite independent. Developmental psychology imposes a number of its own changes. Now it is difficult to argue with the facts that the child has become quite an adult.
The teenager gets acquainted with sublime feelings. Someone begins a sexual relationship. Parents must be prepared for this. Just no panic! At this age, not all children are ready for such a relationship. But adults should definitely start conversations on intimate topics. The child must be aware of the possible consequences. If you don’t have the courage to start a conversation, you can present a suitable book. The teenager will understand the parents’ experiences and will try to deal with this issue on his own. He will understand that he will be responsible for his actions. He will already have the necessary basis to renew his attempt for a frank conversation.
Unfortunately, for some, falling in love at 16 is associated with unrequited love and disappointment. Such children need consolation and support from loved ones. The child needs to be helped to understand that everyone sooner or later meets their soulmate. Unrequited love is not a reason for stress. It is necessary to skillfully switch the sufferer to exciting activities. Indeed, at this age, in addition to physical changes, there are a number of other features.
The psychology of a 16-year-old teenager is very multifaceted. A child, for example, can switch to philosophy with great interest. His worldview and views are undergoing changes. He begins to worry about issues that he had no interest in before. Often the child exaggerates his abilities. A new world opens up before him, on the threshold of which the teenager is charged with enormous energy, the desire to conquer new heights and self-confidence. This is the peak of emotional development of the individual. The task of parents is to support the child’s initiative. Make efforts to implement your plans. Make the world a brighter place. And of course, soften the child’s falls if everything doesn’t work out. Send him for a second try. Make it clear that you need to be able to achieve what you want.
Dawn of adolescence
The psychology of adolescence is truly multifaceted and sometimes unpredictable. 13 years is the age when a child’s body experiences hormonal changes. This is why a teenager can experience rapid mood changes. If a boy suddenly becomes quicker and sharper in his judgments, this does not at all mean that a “difficult” child is growing up in the family. In reality, everything is different. These changes in children are a completely normal psychological factor.
A grown child begins to interpret himself as an adult with his own thoughts and desires.
Adolescent crisis - crisis of personality development
Such behavior is considered to be the norm, despite the fact that many parents begin to panic due to such changes. These are the first steps of children towards future independence and separation from their parents. Of course, it can be very difficult for parents to come to terms with this fact, sometimes even impossible. During this period they make an irreparable mistake, trying to suppress any aspirations and aspirations of the child. This can lead to irreversible consequences.
The teenage psyche is very fragile and susceptible during this period; it is important that the child takes away some specific experience from this, and does not feel tied hand and foot.
At this age, the first personal tragedies and secrets from parents appear
at the age of 13 - this is a period when attraction to the opposite sex intensifies, this is especially often observed on the part of girls. The boy begins to feel something similar a little later, but they also have an interest in the opposite sex. During this period, all teenagers are very self-critical, their appearance worries them very much, and there is a desire to be like their idol, who has an ideal figure, gorgeous hair and expressive eyes.
To the attention of parents
Dear parents, the transitional age of a child is not a reason for frustration and deep worries. There is no need to be afraid of this moment. It's simply inevitable. Every teenager experiences adolescence. The only question is how painful it will be. Mitigation of its course in the hands of adults. Parents themselves must be prepared for the preceding changes. After all, not only teenagers, but also adults will have to adapt. Efforts must be made to achieve mutual understanding. And no matter how difficult it is to find an excuse for the strange behavior and unpredictability of a child, you need to try to find the right key.
A child in adolescence “pushes” bumps, looks for a way out of the current situation and draws conclusions. We need to help him cope with all the difficulties. He should feel the support and love of his parents. Help him sort out his questions and find himself! Remember that no matter how hard it is for you at this time, it is even harder for your child. He needs your help to deal with the multifaceted world.
Rugrats!
This period is difficult for both teenagers and their parents. Mere knowledge of the psychology of a teenager cannot save anyone. Knowledge and practical application of this knowledge are completely different things.
A girl begins to claim her rights to freedom earlier than a grown-up boy.
Girls “grow up” before boys
They achieve this in the way they understand it, they begin to test in practice whether the prohibitions that their parents set really apply. It is at the age of 12 that many parents begin to conduct subtle politics with their children. You can no longer tell a 13-year-old child to “sit down for your homework,” and on the other hand, letting the situation take its course is also not an option. The main thing to do here is to create a trusting relationship with the teenager.
Advice for parents: Everything that was previously strictly prohibited is slowly being conquered by the child. And that's normal, don't be afraid of it.
This is the only way each of us went through the growing up stage. You need to remember yourself at this age. 12 years is a time of active trials and a lot of errors. Unfortunately, many parents are deeply mistaken that they can forbid something at this age. The formation of all life values and priorities occurs between the ages of 3 and 5 years.
How does a teenager feel a sense of adulthood?
And 12 years is the time to reap the benefits of that upbringing. Just because your boy refuses to do the dishes or make the bed doesn't mean he's incapable of doing it. Most likely, in this way he expresses his protest to the inevitable growing up, or hygiene and order are not in his values. During this difficult period, it is important to concentrate on the main thing, leaving out all the little things. It is important not to overdo it with parental pressure, so that such a protest does not become stronger for the rest of your life.
Other milestones
By this age, many teenagers have their own social media accounts and can communicate with their friends in private. For some teenagers, this brings a sense of relief because they often talk to their friends a little differently than they talk to their parents.
For other 13-year-olds, electronic communication means added pressure. They may feel obligated to join in conversations to be accepted by their peers, or they may feel like their friends are having more fun than them when they look at photos on social media.
The influence of the company on a teenager
It is at this time that the teenager’s desire to imitate his friends with whom he is in close contact is great. The more parents fight with their teenager at home, the more he will be drawn to those who are on the street. Even very decent adults tried to smoke or drink at least once during their teenage years. Is it important to know how your girl or boy lives? What connects them with the company?
Teenagers and peers - the social aspect of age
Advice to parents: trust, trust again. You need to be firmly convinced and express that you firmly believe that all troubles are just an accident, your boy knows how to behave correctly in a given situation.
If you panic and scroll through the worst scenarios in your head, then your son may unknowingly live up to your worst expectations. This is the psychology of children, there is no escape from it, everyone goes through this period.
Taming the Shrew Girl
Girls who do not have the right to their own personal “no” at home begin to actively protest in public.
Unfortunately, it is better to sort things out within the walls of the house than to bring the problem to public attention. And parents need to be patient during this period, this must be overcome, this is the first tangible signal of growing up. And obedient father's and mother's daughters remain infantile for the rest of their lives.
Adolescence crisis often leads to deviant behavior
The adolescence period in children exists for the purpose of developing the necessary immunity for life - to try a lot in order to make the right choice. This is a period when children experience disappointment in their parents and there is misunderstanding. It is then that the basic life values are created that accompany a person throughout his life.
Teenagers try to do everything against the will of their parents, actively expressing their contrived independence.
Teenagers need to be patient during puberty.
Parents will have to be patient during this period. During this period, a teenager experiences a hidden need for approval and support from his parents. It is during this period that adolescents experience low self-esteem, self-acceptance and self-evaluation, and low self-worth.
Reaction of grouping with peers
Teenagers instinctively group with peers. Teen groups are:
- Same-sex (most often male). In such groups there is a permanent leader, each member has his own strictly fixed role. The leader maintains his position with the help of a strong but not very smart assistant. Same-sex groups often have “their own territory,” rarely accept newcomers, and use their own “language.”
- Mixed. The leader is selected according to the required situation. Group members may constantly change. Nothing is required from participants.
In closed teenage institutions (boarding schools, sports camps), grouping is very pronounced. This can provoke “undermining” of the established regime.
First manifestations of personality
The most important thing here depends not on how the teenager studies at school, but on the ways in which he can establish himself in his own yard. The teenager begins to actively defend his positions in the classroom and in the yard. The main activity during this period is communication. His future position in society depends on how he establishes himself among his peers. He spends more and more time with his peers. A redistribution of roles in society begins, nerds do not receive due respect, and roles in society begin to be distributed into leaders, scapegoats, and neutrals. They are driven by the desire to gain recognition from their peers, to be like them, but at the same time they want to stand out among them.
Children of this age exhibit confrontation when collaborating with adults, which leads to many incidents during interactions. The opinion of other guys about the teenager is the main motivating force for further work on oneself. Boys begin to assert themselves through friendships with older teenagers, using slang, smoking, provocative clothing, being rude, acting silly, or being excessively helpful to someone stronger.
Teenagers are starting to buy to appear more mature.
Advice to parents: at this time it is very important for you to rebuild your relationship with your grown-up children from parental authority, universal obedience, to friendly, partnership relations.
Otherwise, you shouldn’t expect anything from your children except eternal confrontation and war. Adults must show sensitivity and caution in their actions; they must avoid thoughtless outbursts of anger and aggression towards their child, even if he himself inflamed the conflict due to differences in views. When helping your child cope with difficulties, do not scold the offenders, but try to find out why he found himself in such a situation.
The main thing is to establish a trusting relationship with your teenager.
The greatest comfort during this period will be felt in children who grew up in families where children are spared from excessive parental care; warmth and understanding are felt in relationships, along with clear, jointly worked out rules, and strict control over their implementation.
Parents have the right to control their child's choice of profession and extracurricular activities, and aesthetic preferences can come from peers. Leave it to them. And under no circumstances put yourself above your child, avoid arrogance when communicating with him, then it will be much easier to survive this period. leave a comment
Why do our children grow up so early?
Indeed, modern teenagers turn into adults much earlier. In girls, mammary glands begin to grow as early as 8-9 years old, and at 11-12 years old, 75% of them begin menstruation. Boys from the age of 8-9 actively search for “naked women” in a search engine, and at the age of 10-12 they have their first wet dream. Physically, children develop faster, but psychological development rarely advances the norms that were prescribed 15-20 years ago.
Of course, the question “why” is the key here. And the most interesting thing is that there is no single answer to this question. Let's consider all the main theories.
Theory "Food". It all depends on nutrition. This is perhaps the leading theory. A large amount of low-quality food containing hormones and GMOs. Proponents of the “chemical” theory believe that changes can occur already at the stage of pregnancy. What to do? Always eat healthy and nutritious food, and not like this: broccoli for the child, and dumplings and nuggets from the box for yourself.
Theory "Intellectual". It is believed that increased investment in children's early development develops more than just the brain. The body follows the brain. As a result, by the age of 7-8, children are not only smarter, but also physically larger. Their interests go beyond children's. According to statistics, children enter sex-related queries into a search engine in three out of five cases.
Theory "Social". Parents themselves rush their children. Including them in the circle of discussion of adult problems, swearing and sorting things out in front of them. This also includes the early transfer of relationships into the format of material and monetary values. All this hurries children...
Is this bad? Everyone decides for themselves. I am a supporter of what childhood should be! And there is nothing wrong if it is long enough, at least up to 10-12 years.
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