We all know that jealousy can destroy even the strongest relationships.
Many people are sure that if a partner is not jealous, it means he doesn’t love, but this is not true. This feeling should be present in the relationship between the two partners, but only in such a way that no one notices it.
Before you start a scandal again, you need to think about why a person is jealous.
First of all, it is self-doubt. In this article we will talk about why you should not be jealous of your husband.
A man trusts you
Have you ever wondered why you feel jealous? Most likely due to the fact that you do not trust your partner and there are reasons for this. Put yourself in his shoes.
If you were constantly having scenes of jealousy, it would probably be unpleasant.
It is necessary to make every effort to make your significant other feel that you trust and love her. This is very important in order to maintain a harmonious relationship.
What is jealousy?
Jealousy is an aggravated, unpleasant feeling that, like a rotten worm, settles inside the soul. An extremely exhausting and unpleasant phenomenon.
Is it necessary to show emotions in such a matter? Facts are stubborn things. No matter how hard a woman tries, she will not be able to hide her jealousy. This feeling can manifest itself in different ways. When a lady begins to be jealous, streams of “angry lava” begin to accumulate in her, which sooner or later will be able to break out.
On the other hand, jealousy has been compared to a chili pepper . Spice adds piquancy to the dish, and jealousy adds spice to the relationship. If you do not calculate the seasoning, then the “soup” of the family hearth can deteriorate to such an extent that it becomes impossible to eat.
Every woman, tormented by uncertainty, can choose 2 options: show jealousy to a man or silently “stew in her own juice.”
Possessing and loving are two different things
Some women often confuse jealousy with obsession. This is the case when two loving people never part and are constantly together. Each of us has the right to be alone. Spending time apart is very important.
Let your loved one go to football with friends or fishing, and at this time you can go to the cinema with your girlfriends. Personal space will become superglue for relationships. It helps create healthy and peaceful relationships.
Positive aspects of female jealousy
This behavior has its advantages, which can only strengthen the union of two loving hearts. If a woman has come to the conclusion that she can no longer remain silent, then she needs to think through her actions. How to explain to a man what is bothering her? How to do this as successfully as possible?
5 proven ways to show jealousy to a man:
- He is jealous, which means he loves . This immutable truth has been preserved since the time of the grandparents of modern youth. Jealousy allows a man to feel like a conqueror and owner. No one will ever like feeling second. A little fire in a man’s eyes and he will be ready to move mountains to prove his love.
- The method is as simple as a cork: you need to shout a little . By showing a man her true feelings, a woman will get rid of internal discomfort. Experts say that it becomes easier because there is a way to throw out evil energy and not keep everything to yourself.
- You can always have a heart-to-heart talk . Construct an evidence base for your arguments in a reasoned and logical manner and provide significant facts confirming that jealousy is justified. After such conversations it becomes easier for everyone. The man is happy that they didn’t snap or yell at him, and the woman is happy because she got rid of jealousy.
- Without a doubt, you have to say no . In what case will a lady be jealous? Only if there is a reason for this. What if the misunderstanding has a pronounced character and is tormented by the unknown? Do you need to dot the T's and find out the detailed circumstances of what happened? When uncertainty gives way to certainty, relief comes. Even if this truth confirms the betrayal of a loved one.
- You must speak quietly . Strange advice? It is perfect for those ladies who want to be heard. No need to yell at your partner. The quieter the interlocutor speaks, the more they listen to the content of the conversation - this is already an officially confirmed theory.
No need to bombard a man with questions
If you want to learn something from your loved one, then you don’t need to constantly ask him questions. After asking something, give him the opportunity to answer and only then ask the next question. There is no need to do this in such a way that your loved one feels as if he is under interrogation.
Some representatives of the fair sex bombard their loved one with questions, hoping to catch him in this way in a lie. You need to understand that such behavior exhausts not only the man, but also you.
Photo: Pixabay
Author: Sergey Tumanov
Negative sides of female jealousy
Not all situations require showing jealousy. There are many cases when a lady throws a jealous tantrum out of nowhere. Then the men complain: “She is jealous of me at every post.”
Sooner or later, the chosen one will get tired of the eternal nagging and really leave for another woman.
There is also the other side of the coin, which is responsible for the more reasonable, one might say “cold” part of the female consciousness.
5 disadvantages of female jealousy:
- Under no circumstances should you show your feelings often . This is fraught with outbursts of resentment and sometimes even aggression in men. Most often, daily scandals become a habit among representatives of the stronger sex and they generally stop noticing them. “Oh, it’s started again” - this is what men who are tired of these constant flashpoints of female feelings often think.
- Brevity is the soul of wit . How often does a person get tired of swearing? In this regard, the wife is more resilient and patient than her husband. But the poor man cannot endure a conversation in a raised voice for long. Therefore, when sorting out relationships, you need to try to state your complaints as briefly as possible, especially if they are accompanied by uncontrollable anger or severe hysterics.
- It's better to have a heart-to-heart talk in private . Public expression of feelings will make your life partner feel awkward and ashamed not for himself, but for his lady. He will be uncomfortable in further communication, because the image of a shameful event will be stored in his head. “And this is my wife?” - he will think with horror. Sooner or later, such public scenes end in a break in the relationship.
- There is a way to ignore it . This method entails severe disorder for the female psyche. Its essence is to turn a blind eye to jealousy. You need to push it to the farthest corner of your consciousness and not let it get out. Just don't think about it.
- “As you, so I” is also not a very good way to hide your jealousy from a man. In this case, the lady speaks more of resentment than common sense. The point is that the fair sex will behave exactly the same as her chosen one. Namely, going to restaurants, not answering calls, returning home late and having fun in the company of strangers. This method is an effective method if a woman sees the boundaries of what is permitted, namely, does not cross that forbidden line called treason.
Signals
All a person’s internal feelings, emotions and thoughts are a kind of signaling system so that you do not harm yourself, because if you continue to communicate with this person and experience discomfort from this, you will develop the habit of doing something in life that is not what you want. You want. The romance took place and ended, and you need to be able to tell yourself: everything was great, but we put an end to the end of this story.” Why continue?
I think it is logical to maintain friendship after an affair only if you have a joint business. But people in the business environment have a different motivation - for the sake of business, money. After a romantic relationship, they can really communicate and interact calmly. How? Roughly speaking, you should agree with each other that you “closed this topic and buried it under a concrete slab.” And never return to this again, as if it never happened.
Maya MILIC
How to recognize hidden jealousy?
It’s good when you initially managed to bring your partner to clean water. What if a jealous person skillfully disguises his negative feelings?
Let me emphasize that hidden jealousy is also bad. It is much heavier and more painful. Unlike the aggressor, the “modest” does not create scandals or freak out. In moments of frustration, he simply remains silent, accumulates grievances within himself, sleeps in another room, or even moves away for a while.
The saddest thing is that you will not be able to enter into dialogue and understand the situation. An offended man completely withdraws into himself and behaves like a capricious child. The reasons for this behavior can be mere trifles: you went to the store without him or politely communicated with the courier in front of him.
Manipulation is the main hobby of a hidden jealous person. He constantly presses for pity, wants you to obey. Not in a rude manner, as the aggressor does, but in a completely incomprehensible way. And it's exhausting. Therefore, if your goal is an ideal love relationship, think about whether you need such a man.
How to stop being jealous?
The harshest advice is to stop feeling sorry for yourself and get down to business. Sometimes girls come to a psychologist, hoping that, complaining of a painful feeling of jealousy, they will receive a list of ready-made advice.
Psychologists give different advice. But they say that most problems are caused by the person himself. If you are trying to keep an eye on your husband, read his correspondence, control every step, most likely you have a lot of free time. And it doesn’t occur to you that it is much more useful to spend this time with yourself: go in for sports, be creative, take a walk around the city, go to an exhibition, etc.
What will help you learn not to be jealous of a man?
- Transforming negative energy into positive. Extinguish any attack of jealousy with a large-scale activity, from complex cooking to going to the hairdresser.
- Understanding that the other half has its rights. Unstick your loved one from yourself, just reveal to yourself the obvious thought - he has the right to himself, to the same fishing, to meeting with friends...
- Frequent conversations with your loved one. All problems come from omissions; if you don’t get an answer to your question, you come up with it yourself, and not to your advantage.
- Surprising your loved one with new reactions. Instead of making a scandal about him going to a homecoming party, clean his suit and even present him with a new eau de toilette. Of course, some men will suspect something is wrong, but you need to play until the end, wait for him, ask without pressure how everything went and be glad that he had a good time. From a controlling aunty, you turn into a wise woman, confident in herself. And such people are always a little mysterious, and this attracts a man like nothing else.
If you apply these tips correctly, they will help you not to be jealous of your man.
After the affair
— If an affair occurs between friends , is it possible to return the friendship later , and does it need to be returned ?
And what reasons can force a person to return friendship after an affair?
Perhaps this is logical if a man and a woman were friends since childhood, then they had an affair based on sex, then they broke up for some time, realizing that they were in a hurry. They are different people, good, but different.
Of course, it happens that an affair occurs between two people, and then, after some time, they develop friendly relations. But in no case should you tell your loved ones about this affair, under any circumstances! That is, if former lovers still continue to be in the same company, or they are childhood friends, college friends, under no circumstances should you talk about the past. Such details are completely unnecessary in a relationship with a new partner. You also can’t go against yourself. Why return friendship if you are uncomfortable and bothered by the memory of the ended relationship?
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