Psychology of relations between a man and a woman in marriage. Useful tips

3591 1 0

I will never tire of arguing that there are too many divorces in modern society. Either the institution of marriage is outdated and something needs to be changed. Or change the psychology of relationships in marriage. So what is the psychology of the relationship between a man and a woman in marriage? Let's figure out what's what and where the roots of the problem lead, in order to re-aware them and build happy and harmonious relationships.

“Before marriage he was not the same as he is now”

The essence of the relationship between a man and a woman is “before marriage and after marriage.” And all my observations are in favor of the fact that before marriage, everything is somehow more interesting and dynamic. The only question is what changes and what is the reason for the different attitudes towards each other after marriage.

It’s simple, at the beginning of a relationship we don’t really know the person yet, we constantly get to know him and we are interested in him. I want to do things for the sake of a person, achieve them and like them. And while this is happening, people usually do not notice any negativity towards each other. But there is negativity, and it gradually accumulates.

Psychologists would NOT want you to know these secrets about yourself

—Imagine this situation...
What if, instead of paying for years for useless consultations with a psychologist, in 21 days you can work with yourself? Get rid of negative thoughts and states forever. And instead live a calm and happy life? Stop living in stress due to relationships or constant lack of money?

Tell me this is impossible?

I thought so too, until I started working with myself

LIVING HAPPY IS EASY

My name is Ivan, I am 35 years old, and I have been practicing psychology for 15 years. I have studied all the basic methods and techniques through which I help people find happiness. NLP, hypnosis, body-image therapy. I was invited on television as an expert.

And it was... just a nightmare!

I lived in a state of depression for 7 years (constant stress exhausted me). I had a lot of low self-confidence (my self-esteem was below 0). I could not calmly communicate with people, it seemed to me that I was not worthy of them.

The relationship did not work out (because I was very negative, jealous, a doormat). I’m generally silent about decent earnings; I earned 15,000 rubles a month and thought that was the limit. I didn’t want to live... Envy.

The worst thing is, I thought I would have to live like this forever, and I don’t deserve love and happiness.

But it only got worse, negative states fell on me like a snowball. It felt like I was sitting in a deep, black hole from which there was no way out. Hopelessness, despair, pain, resentment.

My life has turned into endless torture. But then a miracle happened...

I FOUND THE KEY... EVERYONE HAS IT...

One day my father came home from work, a little drunk, although he never drank much.

He came into the kitchen..., looked at me with a dissatisfied expression and began to say with anger how worthless I was, how I couldn’t do anything, and in general, how sorry he was that he was my father.

At first I felt severe mental pain (this is very painful to hear from my family). Then I got offended (does that mean I’m not a favorite son?!) And then an insight came to me...

I received that magical kick that I had been waiting for all my life. It changed my thinking, my life and my relationships with my environment.

I had already forgiven my father simply because he told me the truth and I was happy about it!

But then the most interesting thing began...

Literally 5 minutes later I was already sitting at the computer and writing out all the psychological (!) methods of working with myself.

I was even confused, because my plans were to continue to suffer all my life.

It was such an incredible feeling of freedom and desire to do something that I burst into tears of happiness.

THE MAIN SECRET OF HAPPINESS

If you think that you cannot change your life, become rich or successful, or create a happy relationship - you are mistaken!

You can change your life by changing your thinking and the main thing is to do it EASILY!

• 5 simple and powerful methods of working with yourself (they work even if you use them incorrectly) - You don’t have to turn to psychologists, you are your own psychologist.

• “The secret method” of working through any negative state. This will allow you to eliminate the negative and switch to the positive in 5 minutes.

• 15 minutes a day - Just 15 minutes a day to change your life 180 degrees. Become happier and more joyful.

• Saving up to 100,000 rubles in 1 year - You will save on trips to a psychologist, and spend the saved money on a vacation by the sea.

• 21 days – It only takes 21 days for you to see changes in your life. You will start smiling. Wake up with joy.

DOWNLOAD THE “GUIDE TO CHANGING YOURSELF” FOR FREE

For 7 days, access to the “Guide to Changing Yourself” will be free, everyone can download it from Telegram using the button below.

PS If you want to say “thank you” to me, just download the guide and start using it every day.

PPS How about becoming happy today? =)

Before marriage, we can still forgive, we can close our eyes to some things, due to the fear of losing a person, because we are already accustomed to him and kind of love him and all that. But after marriage, people understand that we can’t get away from each other, and negative sides begin to appear. More precisely, not to manifest themselves, but attention is already focused on them, the negativity was already there before.

And then, the more negativity one receives, the more he wants to press the same button and take revenge. This is where scandals come from, presented and everything comes to its logical end.

Classifications

Regulatory crises

The main current classification of family crises is named after the famous American psychotherapist Virginia Satir. She calls them normative and identifies 10 main problematic issues that every couple faces:

1. Birth of the first child.
2. A child's acquisition of speech.
3. His admission to school.
4. His teenage period, which overlaps with his parents' midlife crisis.
5. “Empty nest” syndrome – children leaving the family.
6. Children creating their own families.
7. My wife's menopause.
8. Decreased libido in husband.
9. Mastering new roles - grandparents.
10. Death of one of the spouses.

It is easy to see that the first normative crises are based on growing up and raising a child. The viability of this classification is proven by statistics: couples who do not have children either divorce in the first 3 years, or continue to live and never break up (after 3 years of marriage, divorce in such families is only 5%). This suggests that they do not have to live through most of the difficulties highlighted by Virginia Satir and associated specifically with children.

Non-normative crises

Psychologists Eidemiller and Justitskis identify other crises in family life that are associated with unfavorable living conditions and problems that arise at different stages. These include:

• illness of one of the spouses;
• socio-economic processes (financial crisis, war);
• adultery;
• conflicts with other people;
• housing problems;
• change in the social status of one of the spouses;
• excessive load;
• state of divorce;
• domestic violence;
• adoption, guardianship.

Non-normative crises can overtake a family at any period of life and even overlap one another, which aggravates an already precarious situation.

How do we know how to build relationships? Experts from DOM-2

We live in a time of total information that comes from any source. Movies, TV series, TV shows, newspapers and so on. Everything we see, hear or read, we unconsciously apply to our lives.

Read more: Relationships without obligations!

It would be nice if TV showed us how to build family relationships correctly, that a good and friendly family is the right approach, that children need to be raised in love and understanding. But no, on TV we see constant swearing, arguments, discontent and complaints. And we all absorb it unconsciously, like a sponge absorbing water.

How long have you seen a good TV show or movie about healthy relationships? I personally haven’t seen it for a long time, and I don’t think I will see it anytime soon.

Another observation is that from the Russian stage we mostly hear songs about love, how important it is, and that relationships should be built only on love. Love is a good thing, but if love goes away, what will be left behind? Negative? This is the end of the relationship.

The most important thing in a relationship is trust and respect.

Problems that are very difficult to solve

Every family may encounter difficulties due to which mutual feelings gradually fade away. This is for example:

• Lack of mutual understanding . Different points of view on the same issue are justified by fundamental differences at the physiological level. By understanding and accepting this fact, the problem can be solved. However, in practice, when asked about the reasons for divorce, a woman answers that her husband refuses to understand her.
• The problem of housing , which consists in the family living with the spouse’s parents. If there are children in the family, the situation only gets worse. As a rule, a man remains in his usual territory, refusing to change his place of residence.
• Lack of material well-being is a problem due to which any relationship can crack. As a rule, wanting to provide for her child, a woman reproaches her husband for his insolvency. Such words often act in the opposite way, conflicts occur more and more often.

So, how do you build a relationship?

Let's first put aside all thoughts about marriage. There is no need to idealize marriage, that after the wedding everything will be like in a fairy tale. Will not be? If…

1 Rule

Let go of all expectations from marriage and life together. Just let go and don't expect anything. The higher the expectation picture, the more upset you will end up and the more mired in negative feelings you will become. And then there will be accusations to the “other half” that he/she is not ideal, that I spent all my best years on him, and he so-and-so ruined everything.

Why is jealousy the main sign of self-dislike?

I'm looking for 5 people with a clear feeling of jealousy in a relationship who want to live peacefully, learn to trust their partner and love themselves.

You are insecure and afraid of loneliness...

You don't know how to change yourself...

You are already tired of worries and worries in your relationship...