How to fall in love again, win your husband again, what to do to make your husband fall in love again? How to get your ex-husband back and fall in love with you after a divorce?
Romantic dates, vows to be together forever are already in the past, and in the present - life, responsibilities and daily routine. But is this how you imagined your family life with your beloved man? Surely not.
Who is to blame for the fact that in most families, over time, the feeling of love is replaced by habit? It is logical to assume that both. But today we will still consider such situations and ways to solve them from the point of view of the fair half of humanity.
How to make your husband fall in love with you again step by step: advice from a psychologist
Many may think that it is impossible to make your husband fall in love with you again, however, psychologists not only say the opposite, but also give a list of necessary recommendations. We will talk about them in more detail now.
- Agree, when you just started dating your chosen one, a lot was different. Emotions were overwhelming, everything was burning in my hands with happiness and it seemed that I didn’t need anything more in life. But a little time passed and the feelings cooled down a little. We will not say that they have passed, we will say that they have dulled under the pressure of everyday events
- You are much less likely to put on a show and dress up in your best outfits to conquer your partner with the beauty
- And your husband, most likely, spoils you much less often with flowers and gifts
- All this is natural and normal from a psychological point of view. Family life is not only a state of euphoria, it also includes difficulties, problems, and disagreements
To make your husband fall in love
First, you need to understand and accept this information, and then you can begin to act:
- The first step in this difficult task will be awareness of existing problems. Try to understand what is preventing your spouse from being as in love with you as before.
- Try to relieve your husband of his daily routine at least for a while: don’t reproach him, get less angry, be more compliant.
- Try to praise your man and support him in his victories and successes, but you should not do this too demonstratively, especially if this is not typical for you. A simple example, if your husband came home from work and fixed a faucet that had been leaking for six months before, then instead of reproaching him with languid sighs: “Well, I finally asked for it,” praise him and tell him that you had no doubt that he could handle it with such a simple task for him.
- Take care of yourself. Many people by this phrase mean the physical side of themselves, but this is far from true. Of course, it is necessary and important to monitor your weight, because it is unlikely that your man will be delighted that you have added 20 kg to your 60 kg, but this is not the only thing. Men love women who develop, not limiting themselves to pots, children and the dacha. Read, take courses, communicate, believe me, this is as important as a good figure.
- Take the initiative. This rule applies to all areas of your life. Do you miss trips to nature or going to the cinema? Buy tickets, marinate the meat and tell your loved one about it. However, before that, try to sensibly analyze whether your husband can accept such an offer. Agree, a person with a 5-day work schedule is unlikely to be offered such outings on Monday in the morning, etc. Do you think your sex life has come to a standstill? Don't wait for your loved one to pounce on you and drag you to bed. Offer him sex yourself, because no one said that this is a purely male responsibility.
- Travel together and always find time to be alone with your loved one. Children, relatives and friends - all this is undoubtedly important and dear to both of you, but do not forget, once you started a family and you did it together, so be kind enough to give your husband the feeling that over the years he has not ceased to be important and desirable to you.
Making your husband fall in love with you is not very difficult. The most important thing to be guided in this situation is the feelings and preferences of your loved one. Don't stop praising him, taking care of him, and at the same time remain the woman he once loved.
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What can I do to make my husband fall in love again?
Unfortunately, over time, feelings dull, and constant euphoria is replaced by everyday life, which can kill any relationship. Many women, and men in principle too, mistakenly believe that the process of conquering their partner is necessary only once - at the stage of the candy-bouquet period. But in practice, most of us see something completely different: women are dissatisfied with rare gifts and flowers on holidays, and men are dissatisfied with reproaches and lack of diversity.
In such cases, psychologists advise women, first of all, to understand the following points and answer a couple of questions:
- Are you sure that your feelings for your husband still exist?
- Why do you think your man stopped paying attention to you?
- Do you agree that the reason for his inattention lies in you?
- And finally, answer yourself honestly, are you ready to change your relationship? After all, this is very difficult work
When the answers to all the questions are given, it is worth drawing a conclusion: are you starting the difficult, but worthwhile work of restoring your old relationship? If the decision is positive, we begin to act.
- Variety and innovation:
- Over the years of living together, all feelings definitely dull. This is especially typical for those couples whose relationship has developed very rapidly. For example, in cases where the dating period lasted a couple of months, and then followed by a wedding and the birth of a child. Agree, there is no time for romance here: a young mother is thinking about how to get some sleep and clean the house, while a new dad is thinking about where to earn more money.
- But you must admit, essentially nothing changes, the couple still loves each other, they just don’t have the time and energy to show attention and feelings. Therefore, the first thing a woman who wants to make her husband fall in love with her needs to think about is introducing novelty and bright colors into a measured family life.
- Now many will remember a romantic dinner by candlelight and run to the store for shopping or run to book a table in a restaurant. Stop and think, do you really need this kind of vacation, will your partner like it? Perhaps the script needs to be changed. This doesn’t mean at all that the dinner idea is bad, no, many people will like it and it will be suitable, but sometimes you need to think a little beyond the ordinary. Perhaps a good option would be to go out into nature together.
- Find out from your loved one what he would like; of course, it is better to do it “unnoticed”. Maybe all his life he dreamed of being in a dolphinarium or visiting a planetarium.
- Don’t be afraid to suggest “childish” ideas. Why don't you have fun in entertainment centers where there are tons of rides and trampolines? A visit to a water park might be a good idea.
- If your man loves extreme sports, offer him a diving lesson or a parachute jump together.
- If your couple is more inclined to home gatherings, it doesn’t matter either. Invite your loved one to cook whatever he wants together, and then watch some show or movie.
Organize a romantic event
Now here are some general tips regarding such events:
- When choosing a way to spend time together, be guided by the interests of your loved one, because in essence this is being done for him, but do not cross the line. You are also an individual, you have your own interests and preferences and a certain line that you cannot cross. If you are afraid of heights, you don’t need to sacrifice your nerves and put yourself in danger just to please a man. Find a compromise. Also remember that not all men need sacrifices for them, so respect yourself and your tastes.
- If your family already has children, this is definitely great, but do not forget that with the advent of a baby you begin to devote less time to your husband and this often provokes a man’s jealousy of children. Everything should be in moderation. Spend time with your husband and children, but also remember to be alone only with your partner - this will definitely awaken his feelings for you.
- Heart to heart conversations:
- It is unlikely that you will surprise anyone with the information that men do not like to talk, but this does not mean at all that conversations should be excluded completely. Communicate with your loved one on various topics; you don’t need to tell him only that you are tired again today, and food prices are rising again. Agree, such conversations are appropriate, but not every day.
- Psychologists say that you need to talk and even gossip with your husband, but the topics of such communication still need to be filtered. Don’t forget that a conversation is a dialogue, so not only you, but also your chosen one should share your impressions and express your emotions. If he is not very talkative, help him. Ask how his day went, if he was tired, what he would like now.
During these conversations, consider the following:
- Agree, sometimes you want to speak out. Perhaps at this time you are telling something that is not at all important to your interlocutor, he is not “sick” about it, he is not interested in it, but your soul desires just such communication at the moment. This happens not only to women who are talkative by nature, men are also people and they too have failures - listen with understanding and never say that you have already heard this or this is not interesting to you.
- Psychologists also say that sometimes you can get your companion to talk by gossiping with him. Of course, this must be done extremely carefully and consciously, and under no circumstances touch upon the topic of someone’s personal life. After all, such behavior of yours can upset your partner, and this is not at all what we need.
- You need to be able to talk not only about family and everyday life, it is important that you and your partner have common topics. To do this, you can watch TV series together, read the same books, find a common hobby, for example, going to the gym, eating right, dancing, or yoga. When you start doing things together that you both like, the problem of lack of topics for conversation will disappear by itself. And your husband will once again note for himself the fact that you are an interesting and understanding interlocutor and will happily return home, knowing that there he will be met with understanding and, if necessary, listened to.
- Eat together whenever possible:
- It would seem, how can eating together have a beneficial effect on a couple? But experts say it can. Of course, it is not the meal itself that plays an important role here, but spending time together and talking during the meal.
- It is also recommended to engage in joint cooking whenever possible. After all, it's always more fun together.
- Don’t forget that it’s your job to offer this option to your husband, it’s his job to agree or not. Don't turn the implementation of this idea into another scandal. Think before you suggest cooking together. You should not suggest such experiments if your husband works from morning to night, if he is not in good spirits or is sick. For such manipulations, you need to choose the right moment.
- Bring your family life back to life a little helps with cleaning and new purchases. Think, maybe it’s time for you to do some cosmetic renovations and finally throw out everything old and no one needs from your home? Do this with your loved one. He will again see you as a business woman.
Go shopping together - Communication at a distance. Agree, it is very important to feel that someone needs you, that someone cares and worries about you. To do this outside the home, you can use SMS correspondence and calls. We must not forget that such correspondence can be of a completely different nature. No one forbids you, moreover, psychologists even recommend, communicating via SMS on very frank topics. Sometimes it is precisely these emotions that mature, mature couples lack. At the same time, do not be intrusive, because constant SMS with questions and interrogations will only anger your partner.
- Quite often, those places where you were once happy help rekindle your former passion. Perhaps this is a favorite cafe, a park, a trip to the sea in a certain city. Make a date for your loved one in just such a place, but don’t overdo it with surprises.
- Any couple needs a break from each other and personal space. Therefore, arrange such a vacation occasionally. There is nothing wrong with relaxing separately, but do not put any conditions on your partner. For example, don’t say that you are not against such a vacation, but the maximum he can go to is to see his parents.
- Don’t forget that you are a woman and no matter how much time passes after the wedding, your husband wants to see that very beautiful lady in you . Don't skimp on yourself and your wardrobe. Change your hairstyle, treat yourself to various procedures such as manicures and massages. After all, men only like women who like themselves first. You don’t need to list your shortcomings like weight, freckles, etc. too often in front of your husband. Believe me, if you have such characteristics, your partner knows about them even without your stories. However, they most likely bother you, not him. Therefore, take care of yourself, your attitude towards yourself, love yourself.
- Watch your figure, but don't focus on extra pounds. Experts are already tired of repeating that men are not as obsessed with a couple of extra pounds on the woman they love as she is. Therefore, if you are sure that you need to lose excess weight, go for it, but do not involve your husband in this game.
- Well, and finally, we’ll talk about one of the most important components of family relationships between a man and a woman - sex . No matter who says that this is not the most important and necessary, and sexual life between partners should be mandatory. And only if sex suits both partners can we talk about something further. Sooner or later, without sex in a relationship, discord begins in the family. And this will continue until one of the partners decides that he has had enough. Therefore, this side of family life cannot be ignored, and actions depend on the neglect of the situation.
Diversify your sex life
- If disagreements in this regard began a long time ago, then a trip to a sex therapist, or at least a psychologist, would be a good idea. If your spouse does not agree to take such measures, act differently
- Try to find out on your own what, in his opinion, led your couple to this situation, then act on the result
- Try to bring something new into your sex life. To do this, you can visit a special store or treat yourself to shopping on the Internet.
- Today, there are a huge number of different accessories, costumes and toys that will diversify your intimate life and fill it with bright colors.
- Also ask what your partner would like and try to make his fantasies come true
- Don't be afraid to try something new, even something that confuses or scares you a little. The main thing in this matter is to remember the line that should not be crossed under any circumstances, we mentioned it earlier
Memories of a shared past
In every relationship there is a period that evokes nostalgia and pleasant memories. Time that can be called “yours.” Perhaps your family life was just beginning, you looked at the world as if through rose-colored glasses.
You must have a shared memory that takes you back to a past, tender and sincere relationship. The park or restaurant where the first meeting took place, the cinema where you watched the film in the last row, the place where the first kiss took place. In every family there should be an event known only to two.
Remember happy moments more often, visit places that are significant for the two of you, look at joint photos of past years. It is important that the memory is joyful and evokes exclusively positive emotions for the two of you. If there is a sign of discord in the relationship, start a conversation with your chosen one with the words “Do you remember...” and tell us about the period of your life when everything was like in a fairy tale.
The surging pleasant memories will help a man plunge into past emotions and feelings. Most likely, he will want to repeat them in real life.
How to make your ex-husband fall in love with you after a divorce, if he left: tips
Divorce is a very unpleasant and complex matter, which not all women can cope with quickly and easily. Often, having calmed down a little, representatives of the fair sex begin to think more rationally and, so to speak, “soberly.” It is at this stage that the desire and thoughts arise regarding the return of the ex-husband.
So, what needs to be done to return your spouse to the family? First, you need to understand why your relationship deteriorated and why, in fact, your chosen one left the family.
Among the most common reasons why families break up are:
- Getting married “just like that.” Surely, you have heard that there are people who basically get married just like that. Sometimes a couple is influenced by overbearing parents. Often families are created because young people will soon have a child. There are a lot of such reasons, but they are united by the fact that both partners, as a rule, cannot really formulate an adequate reason why they started a family. This does not mean at all that such people get married without any feelings, but without a clear understanding of why you are together, the family will not last long.
- Inability to be a person. This point concerns those women and girls who cannot imagine themselves without their man, thereby turning themselves from a beloved woman into an annoying roommate. For this reason, many families break up, because men love to see their lady as a person, with her own views on life, opinions and preferences.
- Not understanding what roles you are “playing . Very often, for some reason, women take on the role of not only a wife, but also a mother, and then wonder where their man went. We must not forget that for your husband you must be a woman, and you must be a mother for your child.
Get your husband back
- Lack of common views. The mentality of our people, unfortunately, is such that we do not know how to talk to each other and hear each other, which is very important in any relationship. When entering into a relationship, especially a legal one, few people ask their partner about his views on life. Most are guided by their emotions, that is, feelings of love and preferences regarding appearance. But how can family life be successful if, for example, a woman gets married in order to quickly become a mother, and the man does not like children at all? Or, for example, a woman getting married categorically does not accept the role of a housewife, and the man expects her to take care of the house and family? Agree, it turns out stupid, but this would not have happened if the couple had initially clarified with each other all the nuances of understanding family life and found out whether they had common views and interests.
- Discrepancy between desires and reality. Quite a lot of couples, when getting married, think that family life is an attraction that brings joy and happiness every day. In fact, it turns out that family relationships are daily work and the need to get along.
- Problems in your sex life. You can talk about this forever. Sex is one of the main components of a healthy and happy relationship, so it is a mistake to believe that its absence will in no way affect your life together.
- Financial difficulties. Disagreements in the family also arise due to the deterioration of the family's financial situation. Here you get reproaches and comparisons, but family life absolutely cannot stand this.
- Inability to give in. All people are different, everyone has their own opinion and understanding of how it should be done and how it should be done correctly. But couples often forget that they were once happy with everything and were content with what they had. It is precisely the inability to hear and give in to a partner that is another reason that the family breaks up.
The method by which you need to return him depends on the reason why your man left you. Also, we did not mention such a reason as another woman. We did this because there is no point in returning a man who voluntarily exchanged you for another and lives with her. After all, if he did this, it means he does not intend to live with you at this stage of his life, and your attempts to return him to the family will most likely only amuse him.
Get your husband back after divorce
So, having realized the reason why your husband left you, start taking action. General recommendations would be the following:
- Establish a connection with him. Most often, couples do not separate very well, so sometimes this stage will not be easy. In order to regain communication with your ex, find common ground. Surely there will be at least something, because you were together for some time. All women's tricks and tricks apply here: you can say that you want to give him some of his things, you can ask for banal help. The main thing is that communication is restored.
- If you just started talking on the phone, don’t run ahead of the locomotive. There is no need to immediately declare head-on that you cannot and do not want to live without him and everything should be as before. Wait a moment, be interested in his life, experiences, and only at the moment when you see the return, act further. That very return can be his calls, SMS to you.
- Next, you can propose a meeting. Again, you don’t need to immediately offer him a romantic evening that smoothly turns into night. Just take a walk somewhere, go to a movie or a cafe. Regarding clothes, you don’t need to put on your best clothes at once; it will be enough if you are rested and neatly dressed.
- Try to get the attention of your ex-husband in any adequate way. Be his friend who will listen, support, and understand.
- At all stages of your “work”, observe the man’s reactions, how he behaves with you, whether there is a spark in his eyes.
- Further on the situation, however, as a rule, a man who, even after breaking up, communicates with you, goes to meetings, wants to renew the relationship.
- If you feel that he is ready to put up, but does not say so himself, use all women’s weapons, but only in moderation. Here you can remember a romantic dinner.
- And don't make the same mistakes. If you previously lived in uncertainty, when you get back together, immediately discuss all the nuances.
- Change and most importantly start with yourself, not with your husband. Make it a rule to talk and discuss, rather than shout and be offended.
- Be a friend, wife, lover for your man, so that he does not need to look for someone on the side.
Joining a man's interests
Joint activities can bring back former tender feelings and restore the once sincere and reverent relationship between spouses. Ask your man more often what gives him pleasure and what he absolutely cannot stand.
If your spouse is an avid fan, watch the next match with him. If he likes games, join him and try to fight him in a computer battle. It is important that you like what you will do. Perhaps you will be the one who can give your spouse emotional fuel for his new achievements.
You should not ridicule the interests of your chosen one or try to deliberately belittle their importance in his life. This will only make the situation worse and you will lose the man's trust and respect.
How to make your husband fall in love with you after another: tips
It often happens that a man leaves for another woman, thinking that she will not nag him with daily reproaches and every new day in their life will be a holiday. This also happens, however, most often such relationships end very quickly, because in reality it turns out that it is only interesting to spend leisure time with such a woman, but family life with her is far from a dream.
At this moment, ex-wives begin to hope that the husband will return to the family, and this opinion is not wrong. Psychologists do not deny that it is possible to return a husband after another, and practice proves this to us.
So, the main rules that must be followed in order to get your husband back after another woman:
- First, again, you need to establish a connection with him. If you have children, this could be a great common ground. But under no circumstances manipulate your children; your husband will clearly not appreciate it.
- At any meetings with your husband, you should look good, you should not pretend to be joyful and happy, but you also don’t need to show him crying.
- Ask him for help. These can be household little things, like driving a nail, fixing a faucet, screwing in a light bulb. Don’t forget, a man should be praised for all the little things, but this should not be done intrusively.
- Even if you don't become friends right away, invite him to family celebrations, especially if you have children together.
- Develop and change internally. Don’t focus only on the return of your husband, try to make yourself a complete person to whom you want to return.
Get your husband back from his mistress
- Lose a couple of extra pounds, sign up for a dance class, finally get the haircut you've been dreaming about since you were young. Such manipulations will not go unnoticed by your husband.
- Remember, if your man left another woman, it means that in comparison with you she clearly lost. This is the psychology of men; they involuntarily compare all their subsequent ladies with their wives. So, if he left her, it means he was missing something. Give it to him.
- Analyze what was spoiling your relationship and try to fix it.
- Finally, understand for yourself that we build a relationship with a man not so that there is someone to fix the faucet, but because our heart and soul chose him. When you understand that relationships are built not only on responsibilities and reproaches, you can radically change the situation, and your man himself will begin to do real things for you.
- When your communication becomes regular and you realize that your husband, just like you, wants reconciliation, talk to him directly. Discuss the situation that happened and forget about it, otherwise you will not be able to build further relationships.
- Discuss the priorities of each of you, and then act according to the situation, either live apart for some time and meet, or come together and live in peace and harmony.
In what ways can you not force love?
In an attempt to renew feelings, some women may go to extreme measures and do stupid things that will lead to a break in the relationship. There are mistakes that should not be made when trying to return feelings:
- Jealousy with the help of another man;
- Treason;
- Packing things, leaving home;
- Scandals, emphasis on the lack of love on his part;
- Pregnancy blackmail.
All these manipulations are stupid, inappropriate, useless. A real man who has no feelings for a woman will under no circumstances return unless he wants to. That is why there is no need to resort to blackmail, use cheap tricks, in hopes of returning love. This can only worsen the current situation.
How to make your husband fall in love with you: conspiracy
Sometimes special conspiracies help to make a man fall in love with you, however, for them to have power and bring the desired result, you need to not only believe in them, but also “help” them with your actions, which we talked about earlier.
The most popular is the following conspiracy:
“As people look in the mirror, so would my husband (name) look at me! Just as soap is quickly washed off, so would my husband (name) quickly fall in love with me. As light as the shirt on the body is, so would my husband (name) be light.”
- These words must be said at the moment when the growing Moon is visible in the sky
- They speak a conspiracy over the husband's shirt, and they need to set its collar on fire.
- Only the collar should burn
- Be careful with fire. Don't get burned
- After the words are spoken, extinguish the thing and hide it from prying eyes. The husband, of course, should not know anything about this
Relationships are serious work between two people, so if something doesn’t work out, it’s always both of them’s fault. Saving a family is not always easy, so simply try not to let the situation end like this.
Changing a woman's appearance
Often, after many years of marriage, a woman stops taking care of herself. She allows herself to walk around the house in a stretched T-shirt, soiled pants and a bun on her head. But when a woman gets ready to go out in public, she can spend several hours in a row in front of the mirror, carefully choosing an outfit and putting on beautiful makeup.
This position of the wife is fundamentally wrong. If a woman believes that any husband will love her, despite his unkempt appearance, then she is deeply mistaken. It is important for the wife to understand that, first of all, she should try to look attractive to her man. He should see her in neat clothes, with a clean head and well-groomed manicure.
If you live together, buy sexy robes, flirty shorts and short skirts. A man will definitely appreciate it. Dress beautifully and gracefully so that you are not ashamed of your appearance.
There is no need to be overzealous either. You shouldn’t get up in the morning several hours earlier than your chosen one, and all this time you should be putting on makeup, styling and preening. The main rule is that you must look neat and attractive.
Change the situation.
It will not be possible to completely get rid of the vicious circle “stove-mop-plunger” without leaving the house. To achieve complete freedom and gain the forgotten feeling of “I am a woman,” you will have to go outside. Why is it important?
- Communication outside the family is usually underestimated, but in vain. Work relationships also do not always make up for diversity. But friends, acquaintances from clubs with similar interests, even just neighbors will come in handy.
- No matter how much people make fun of shopping, it’s a really good way to get rid of stress and cheer yourself up.
- It is generally advisable to make visiting cafes, theaters, cinemas, galleries, entertainment centers and similar establishments a regular and common thing.
- Traveling (even in the suburbs, natural areas, neighboring cities) is another method to diversify your leisure time.
Discovering new places, changing backgrounds and surroundings reduce stress levels, help you sort out your own thoughts, and create new memories. Moreover, it is better to do this equally both independently and together with your husband.
Why feelings can cool down
Reason 1
It's all due to hormones! At the beginning of a relationship, we are literally blinded by dopamine, which makes us go crazy with love. However, after a couple of years it is replaced by more restrained oxytocin, and then the process of rethinking values begins in the head. And we suddenly begin to notice that our loved one, it turns out, has a bunch of unbearable qualities!
Reason 2
Say no to routine! If in the previous paragraph you can blame nature, then in this case everything is in your hands and only you can bring it to a state where everything repeats itself day after day.
Reason 3
The birth of a child can both unite a couple even more and create a gap between partners. If a man has all his needs in place, then a woman’s motherhood begins to dominate, and her husband is often relegated to the background.
Reason 4
One of the most important reasons why partners value each other is the ability to give in. Over time, this becomes a habit on both sides, the main thing is to take the first step. As a rule, the party to whom the concession was made feels gratitude and warmth. In families to which the word “compromise” is alien, feelings often fade away after a year or two.
Reason 5
Not all representatives of different social classes, cultures, religions are able to carry the cup of love to the end of their lives without spilling. Most often, besides themselves, the environment decides a lot.
Reason 6
The appearance of connections on the side. It often happens: a wife began to hate her husband because of the realization that he had another. But there are opposite situations when a woman cannot forget her lover, which will certainly affect the climate in the family.
Fighting routine and habit
Say a firm “No!” everything that causes you apathy and internal discomfort. Ruthlessly change the lifestyle that does not suit the two of you.
Have a date by candlelight on the roof, watch the stars fall, and watch the sunrise together. Don't let routine tasks completely consume you. Find pleasant moments that can pull you out of the quagmire of endless daily activities.
Take fishing rods and potatoes from home and go to the pond. Catch some fish and have a lunch in nature, making fish soup. Break up with habits that don't bring you any positive emotions. Don't let your love develop into an addictive feeling.
Change the routine of your life
When you sit down every evening to watch a movie at the same time or have dinner according to a regular schedule, then what kind of passion can we talk about? Your husband has already thoroughly studied you, and you too. Dinners together are very good, on the one hand, but who said that they must be in the same place and at the same time?
If a man does not show initiative, then you will.
You may be a woman, but it is you who want to make your spouse fall in love with you again. Therefore, invite him to have dinner at a restaurant or cafe nearby. The next day, instead of choosing to watch a movie on the sofa, offer to attend the long-awaited premiere at the cinema. Yes, you can come up with anything - just to break the routine that has killed your passion and is already quite disgusting to you.
Stop criticizing your spouse
A meticulous critic who will find a lot of shortcomings and reasons for irritation in her husband lives in almost every woman. Coach Vadim Kurkin advises getting rid of this habit or turning complaints into constructive criticism.
When you make a comment, combine it with praise. This will help soften the criticism and not make your husband feel offended. When expressing reproaches, never get personal, use “I-messages” (“I was upset when my favorite cup broke”). Make critical comments only in a calm state.
Don't Criticize Your Spouse: Pexels
Break away from everyday problems.
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Constant washing, cleaning, ironing, cooking, lessons with children, walking the dog, giving birth to a cat will drive anyone into depression and the appearance of an eternally tired asthenic. For some, the bags under their eyes are polished off by another 8-hour work schedule. And if, after such a day, the faithful demands fulfillment of marital duty... In general, it’s time to remember your well-being and the need to rest.
It is advisable to try at least a little more often:
- leave children with relatives, find them activities to keep them occupied with their own interests;
- forget about eternal cooking in favor of going to cafes, pizzerias, and, in extreme cases, to canteens (for lunch break, for example);
- distribute the responsibilities for cleaning/washing/cooking/taking out the trash/walking the dog between family members by creating a visual schedule and hanging it in a visible place (this will immediately show who, what, and how much is doing to maintain comfort);
- get out of the closed cycle “work-shop-home” by changing your usual actions or at least the way they are performed.
The main thing is to find time for yourself and your spouse, and with an obsession with everyday routine, this is extremely difficult to do. It is also important to learn to forgive yourself for mistakes in housekeeping, and not suffer from an acute sense of guilt for every unwashed plate.
Initiative is not punishable
Have you ever thought about how men are different from us? All of them are from Mars - this goes without saying, and therefore they perceive love and sex completely differently than we do. So, most men sincerely believe that they are loved = have sex with them. Therefore, your husband will definitely appreciate it if you take on the role of initiator. The choice is: sit and wait for attention from your spouse for several weeks of the football season, or take the leading role in your love match and receive three times as much from your grateful spouse.
Features of male behavior
When a relationship breaks down, each partner experiences it differently. If the husband is silent, this does not mean that he does not notice anything. Most often, it is easier for men to hush up the problem and try to solve it mentally.
A woman must understand that internal experiences will also be reflected in the behavior of her husband. “Freezing” the situation until better times and living according to the rules is not an option. In order not to aggravate the problem, you should sort out your thoughts and decide: to break off the relationship or think about how to fall in love with your own husband again.
Put relationships first
In long-term relationships, the feeling of novelty wears off and is replaced by a feeling of security and comfort.
