Psychology of men after 40: married, divorced, single

There are several time periods in a person’s life that are associated with crisis. Many people know the expression “a man’s 40th birthday crisis.” Some people are skeptical about this claim. However, based on the results of the experiments, psychologists were able to prove that at this age representatives of the stronger sex actually experience many changes, experience depression, and are confused about further actions. In order not to do anything stupid, it is important to understand what the psychology of a man at 40 is.

Physiological and psychological changes

The psychological crisis of a man after 40 years is considered a common phenomenon that frightens many members of the stronger sex. At this age, a person thinks about the goals that he has achieved or can achieve. More often than not, the thoughts are extremely negative, especially if most of your life has not gone according to plan. Because of this, depression begins, which leads to psychological disorders and physical ailments.

In addition to psychological changes, the body begins to rebuild. Chronic diseases appear, hormonal levels change. Often changes are accompanied by a large number of diseases. They, like depression, worsen a man’s general condition. Most representatives of the stronger sex do not understand that after 40 life begins to be in full swing. They feel the end is imminent. Such thoughts can lead a man to commit rash acts.

What about the appearance?

You may mistakenly think that at 40 a man does not want a sexy young woman next to him. This is not so, they continue to “love with their eyes” at any age, that’s how they are designed. However, the requirements for appearance at an older age are no longer as severe as in youth. A man will easily start a relationship with a girl who does not meet his standards of beauty if she turns out to be an interesting conversationalist and a bright personality. What appearance requirements do older men have:

• grooming;
• sense of style;
• femininity;
• elegant sexuality.

Please note that at this age it doesn’t matter to a person what kind of figure you have. The main thing is that the girl is dressed tastefully. Light makeup, well-groomed hair, restrained sexuality in clothes are complemented by femininity and self-esteem - this is the ideal image of a woman for older people.

Basic Behaviors

For each representative of the stronger sex, the “40-year crisis” proceeds differently. The period of time during which a man begins to think about life, draw conclusions, and make plans lasts from 37 to 45 years. A man’s condition depends on his behavior pattern. Psychologists distinguish 3 types of human condition:

1. Behavior of married people. If family ties bring pleasure to a man, he will try to preserve and strengthen them. When the attraction to his wife has cooled, but the husband does not want to break off a long-term relationship, he will hold on to it until the last. If a wife communicates with her husband in a rude manner, infringes, and does not satisfy him, he may decide to break off the relationship. After a breakup, a man will start looking for a new woman.
2. Psychology of a divorced man. This group of representatives of the stronger sex is divided into two subgroups. The first category includes people who are not going to build new relationships, since their past love caused a lot of trouble and painful sensations. The second subgroup includes men who want to find love, a soul mate.
3. Model of behavior of bachelors. Rarely do men under 40 remain alone. This may be due to passion for some activity, past mistakes, or a belief that the family is useless. Most bachelors adhere to this position throughout their lives. They are satisfied with the state of things even without a constant companion.

Behavior can change depending on factors created by society. Decisions regarding relationships can be influenced by strangers.

A brief excursion into the history of the midlife crisis

The term “midlife crisis” was coined by the Canadian psychoanalyst E. Jacques. He understood by it the period of a man’s life from 40 to 60 years old, which is characterized by a revaluation of acquired experience and loss of interest in what is happening at the moment. Later, the framework of the crisis was revised, and now a midlife crisis among 30-year-old men is also often encountered.

The stronger sex endures times of change much more difficult than women. This can be explained by the higher demands of society for achievements: career and financial well-being are considered. Attention is also paid to fulfillment in the family.

The midlife crisis in men is more pronounced among people living in big cities and people whose field of activity is creativity.

So, many men in middle age go through this crisis. How difficult it will be is determined by social, cultural, psychological, hereditary, material and everyday factors. During a crisis, the following manifestations exist: disturbances in habitual behavior, emotional difficulties, disturbances in personal and social adaptation.

Reasons for disappointment

Regarding the disappointments that befall a man, we can say that their occurrence is influenced by psychological disorders and changes occurring in the body.

Testosterone levels decrease. If the amount of the hormone decreases critically, the stronger sex will become vulnerable, sensitive, and sentimental. In some cases, testosterone surges occur. Because of this, males become aggressive, impulsive, harsh, and picky.

If a person has achieved significant heights, he will expect praise from others. Disappointments will occur if household members, friends, and relatives do not provide due attention and satisfy the person’s desires. Additionally, illnesses can affect your general condition.

The man is a hero

Most representatives of the stronger sex begin to take stock of their past lives. If he has achieved certain success in terms of career, self-realization, self-development, a man will demand universal recognition, praise, and admiration from those around him. If a girl or wife does not provide due attention, the husband will begin to look for another woman who can satisfy his desires and needs. This will lead to the destruction of family ties. It is important for the spouse not to miss this moment in order to maintain the integrity of the family. It is enough to show increased attention to your husband so that he calms down and is satisfied with his own dignity.

What should a woman do?

There is an opinion that a man’s interest can be regained with the help of a new image. But, as practice shows, this is complete nonsense. A woman should always take care of herself and look well-groomed, regardless of her husband’s attitude towards her.

Most often, a man leaves not for the woman who is younger or more beautiful, but for the one who, it seems to him, understands him better and does not demand anything, agreeing to his “rules of the game.” It is this kind of young lady that attracts him most. He does not want to “stress”, spend a lot of money on courtship and sacrifice his interests for the sake of a woman. But the most important thing a man is looking for is novelty.

erectile disfunction

Impotence is considered the most important fear for any man. Because of this problem, the behavior and worldview of the stronger sex changes. He becomes aggressive, hot-tempered, trying to get rid of internal stress, worries, and negativity. First of all, the wife falls under the distribution. With impotence, a man will not be able to fully satisfy a woman. This will cause unnecessary questions on her part, reproaches, and complaints. A man hides the truth so as not to show his weakness. This leads to internal disagreements, worries, and nervous breakdowns.

Who is this rival?

A man is unlikely to tell himself who his mistress is and with whom he is cheating on his wife. Therefore, almost all women try to independently obtain information about their rival, so as not to fight the enemy with their eyes closed. But this will not lead to anything good except mental anguish. Moreover, there is no need to seek contacts with your mistress and sort things out with her. It will be an unconditional loss.

If a woman wants to save her family, she cannot kick her husband out on her own. When you have life in perfect harmony behind you, you shouldn’t make decisions rashly. Often, during this difficult period for him, a man expects support, understanding and action from his wife, but he behaves so aggressively that his behavior is repulsive. At this moment it seems to him that he will always think this way. But someday the crisis will end, and it will no longer be possible to return the family. As life shows, it is at this moment that the wife gets a man who loves her and the children and is ready to move mountains for them.

Four crisis models

If the crisis of 40 years has begun to make itself felt, you need to take into account changes in your behavior. Scientists identify 4 models for constructing the general position of men during and after the crisis:

1. Implementation. By this age, a man begins to take stock and consider the years he has lived. If there is a good income, a strong family, a representative of the stronger sex may think about inferior self-realization. Most men begin to feel sad that they couldn't achieve more. Thoughts about inferior fulfillment will worsen the general condition of the stronger sex. To correct the situation, you need to unload from work and choose time for proper rest. You need to switch from your main activity to your hobbies.
2. Visibility of implementation. A model of behavior in which a man behaves as if he has achieved significant success in his career and family well-being. In fact, a representative of the stronger sex is oppressed by an unloved profession, low earnings, and a dissatisfied wife. Posturing makes the situation worse. To improve the situation, you need to look for like-minded people who will provide support.
3. Deprivation. Disastrous situations for men when by the age of 40 he could not achieve generally accepted happiness. The relationship ended, the job stopped, there are no children. It is important not to go into depression, to try to start over. To do this, you need to find new friends, look for love, learn an interesting profession.
4. Uncertainty. The most common condition in men at this age. He could not decide on work, family, hobbies, friends. The unknown torments, makes you sad, and brings up negative thoughts. It is necessary to deal with the accumulated problems one by one. To do this, a man needs to set his priorities correctly and highlight the main difficulties in achieving his goals.

Any of the presented behavior patterns is considered general. They will bring together different people whose situations may be radically different from each other.

If a woman wants to save her family

In this case, she needs to shut her mouth and not discuss the unworthy behavior of her own husband. If a woman can show wisdom, then the man will “go crazy” and return to the family. You should not share your problem with friends and neighbors so as not to cause unnecessary gossip.

You can enlist the support of your mother-in-law, because she is unlikely to approve of the behavior of her married son. But sometimes you can “run into” the opposite situation: the mother-in-law can blame her wife for all the troubles, because she is a bad housewife and her cooking is tasteless. And in general, husbands do not leave good wives. So it’s worth thinking several times about whether you need to interfere with your parents’ family problems.

Psychology of married people

Depending on the method of behavior, the current situation in life, the influence of others, you need to know what to do in the future in order to avoid serious mistakes.

A 40-year-old man feels the approach of old age. The life he has passed seemed meaningful to him, but he does not feel his future. The unknown is scary and alarming. Because of this, representatives of the stronger sex commit many rash acts. In this case, various changes may appear that affect the overall situation:

1. Sex life. In this regard, two situations can happen. The first includes a decrease in sexual activity. It depends on the natural processes of the body. The man begins to get nervous, and a psychological barrier gradually develops, which will interfere with communication with his wife. Another situation is an increase in sexual activity. This threatens with negative consequences for the body. The risk of developing a heart attack, stroke, and cardiovascular diseases increases.
2. Apathy. With changes in hormonal levels, mood changes chaotically. Weakness and uncertainty in actions appear. Tastes, habits, behavior change. It is important not to miss the moment of starting changes in order to support your spouse.
3. Increased energy. Manifests itself in relation to behavior and actions. The man begins to behave like a teenager. Finds strange entertainment and actively plays sports.
4. The image of a man changes: clothing style, hairstyle, food preferences.

If the spouse does not support her husband at the beginning of changes, he may have another woman who will support and comfort him in difficult situations

Recommendations for easily overcoming a midlife crisis

A midlife crisis in men is a natural stage of mental development. A man who experiences this condition is not sick and does not need treatment. But in order to reduce the risk of family breakdown, job loss and the development of severe depression, you can seek help from a specialist - a psychotherapist or psychologist.

In order to help a man survive his midlife crisis, it is worth following several recommendations.

• Support him emotionally. During a crisis, a man begins to perceive the demands of society extremely acutely, experience loneliness, feel misunderstanding and rejection of society, and the severity of existing dogmas. All loved ones need to become more tolerant and show greater interest in the man’s life.
• Make positive changes. You need to put emotions aside and soberly assess the quality of life changes. Perhaps offer a new leisure activity instead of changing jobs. Close people should recognize a man’s right to desire changes, accept him, not give a negative reaction to this and try to make the usual course of life more diverse.

Behavioral tactics of a divorced man

It is more difficult for a divorced person to survive the crisis. In this case, there can be two scenarios:

1. The desire for relationships. The representative of the stronger sex begins an active search for his soul mate. This happens if the past relationship ended painlessly.
2. If the past was full of painful breakups, the man will avoid serious relationships. For intimacy, he can stick to an open relationship.

Psychological barriers will not allow a male representative to build family happiness.

What to do with the internal feeling of discomfort?

The destruction of a family as a result of thoughtless actions is only one part of the problem. More significant is the self-perception of a male representative, his attitude towards himself and life. In this case, the following motives come to the fore:

• life is over, there is nothing more to wait for. You should live out your term in a comfortable and familiar environment;
• this is the last chance, you need to make your dreams come true and satisfy your desires (relates to sex life, thrills in general, changing jobs or hobbies);
• actions and goals need to be rethought.

The first type of attitude leads to depression and passivity, forcing one to give up living a full life. The personality becomes ossified in its beliefs and habits, this prevents a normal attitude towards others and flexible changes in changing circumstances. For people with such a sense of self, it is important to find positive goals and strength to change the external environment.

The second version of the crisis is dangerous due to excessive risk. The race for new sensations destroys the old life, family, and financial stability. Change is only useful to a certain level and requires control.

The third motive - the desire to comprehend life and draw conclusions - is characteristic of the most balanced natures and helps to overcome the critical period easily, without loss.

The psychology of men at the age of 40 perceives the crisis as a turning point, a turn towards old age and powerlessness. But correct behavior and a reasonable attitude towards changes helps to reach maturity smoothly, without breakdowns and drastic changes in social and family status. The most important thing during this period is to analyze your actions, past and present, and forecast the situation with an analysis of probabilities.

Having a clear understanding of how life is changing and what benefits can be derived from these changes contributes to a feeling of inner peace and self-confidence.

Psychologists advise men who feel an approaching crisis to follow their impulses. However, they must be moderated to reasonable limits.

There is a feeling that the “ceiling” has been reached in your field - it’s worth trying yourself in another field. Drastically change your job, hobbies, habits. Financial stability achieved by the age of 40 will allow you to “stay afloat” if your new activity does not immediately bring success.

The wife is tired, the family doesn’t understand or appreciate her - the situation will not change in the new family if there are no changes in the man. You can improve your appearance, health, and achievements at the age of 40; this will raise self-esteem and increase the loyalty of loved ones.

You are not happy with your appearance, your health is failing you - you need to pay attention to yourself, undergo a medical examination, change your clothing and hair style, and go in for sports.

How to survive the crisis of 40 years for a man

To maintain psychological and physical health, a man needs to follow a number of rules:

• establish proper nutrition;
• sleep at least 8 hours a day;
• take regular days off;
• exercise;
• find a passion;
• Devote more time to family, friends and family.

Those around him should provide the man with increased support. Be interested in his hobbies, work, talk about topics of interest. Otherwise, the condition may worsen and the family may collapse.