Shy girl: concept, definition, characteristics, behavior and character

“Modesty adorns a girl,” we have heard this statement since childhood. Yes, indeed, modesty can be a sweet expression of femininity. But this condition can also hide self-doubt, shame, discomfort and a desire to meet certain standards.

Our task is to determine the true reasons for our behavior, learn to hear ourselves and understand our desires. And then modesty will not be a limitation, but a woman’s inner freedom, her conscious choice.

From this article you will get answers to the following questions:

• Modest woman: who is she?
• Modesty and complexness: what's the difference?
• Should a woman be modest?
• When can modesty be harmful?
• Do men like shy women?
• How does modesty get in the way of relationships?

What is modesty really? What shades and reasons does it have? Watch our video:

Concept

A shy girl is a person who feels awkward in the presence of people she doesn’t know well. The girl cannot quickly answer the questions asked of her, she will not look at the interlocutor, her gaze is most often fixed on the floor. Some people confuse shyness with coquetry. Nice girls display these character traits in the same way. For this reason, people find shy people charming. But in fact, life is very difficult for a person with low self-esteem. The girl cannot talk to a person she is interested in; sometimes it is even difficult for her to ask for directions from passers-by or ask for help in a store. A secretive character does not allow a smart and pretty girl to make decent friends, since she cannot make the first acquaintance, and subsequently it is inconvenient for her to continue the acquaintance she has begun.

Do men like shy women?

There is a stereotype that men like polite, obedient, reserved girls. Because they are selective about their surroundings, do not like to attract unnecessary attention to themselves, and do not give reasons for jealousy.

And supposedly such women are always content with little and do not look for an oligarch for a relationship.

After all, you’ve probably heard stories, and maybe there were examples among your friends, when a girl at school was a “gray mouse”, didn’t particularly stand out, didn’t strive to be the center of attention, and then got married successfully.

And it began: “Do you remember Ivanova from the parallel class? With stupid glasses? So imagine, she grabbed a rich husband for herself, and also pretended to be a modest one!”

Believe me, she wasn’t pretending to be anyone, there was just a man who saw the beauty of her inner world and chose “his” woman - soft, loving, real.

But let's be honest: not every man chooses a modest woman as his life partner. Much depends on what kind of family system a man grew up in, what values ​​were instilled in him, what the first woman in his life - his mother - was like.

To love and be loved, you do not need to play the role of a “positive character” or forcefully instill in yourself some character traits. It is much more important to reveal the talents and qualities given to you by nature. Turn to that side of your feminine nature that is suppressed by complexes, fears, negativity, but it is there and waiting in the wings.

Do you want to know what feminine qualities are most attractive to men? Sign up for our free online course: “Men: honest instructions for use. No drama or manipulation."

Symptoms

How can you spot a shy girl in a group? It's very simple. If you observe a shy person, you will notice that during a conversation her face turns red, sweating increases, and the girl tries to wipe her palms in some way. Trembling in the voice and knees betrays a lack of confidence in oneself and one’s words. A quiet voice shows not only external constraint, but also demonstrates internal pressures. The girl will take closed poses. She will psychologically put a barrier between herself and her interlocutor. Shy people may not answer the question posed to them, as they will be unsure of the reaction to the answer of others. But what people think is very important for girls with a similar character.

Signs of modesty

Modesty is a quality more suitable for women and girls. More and more often there are ladies who are liberated and vulgar. Modesty is expressed in the following signs:

• moderation in one's desires;
• indifference to wealth, luxury, excesses;
• lack of desire to show one's strengths;
• sedateness in relationships with people;
• following the limits of decency;
• ability to carry on a conversation.

Shyness is often attached to the concept of modesty. But these definitions should not be confused. Shy girls are timid and indecisive, while modest girls are distinguished by good manners, restraint, and self-control.

Causes

Why do some girls grow up to be lively dreamers or coquettes, while others become shy? Girls are formed under the influence of the environment and the people who raise them and are their idols. Shyness is not an innate quality, but an acquired one. What are the reasons for its appearance?

• Diffidence. A person who has low self-esteem will be afraid to express his opinion and go against society. Sometimes girls who are too shy cannot realize themselves because they are afraid of the sidelong glances that their parents will throw at them.
• Fear. Every person is afraid of something. To overcome fear, you need to take action. But shy people cannot find the strength to go somewhere. Therefore, they get used to going with the flow and become boring individuals.
• Fear of being misunderstood. A person always wants to know that they believe in him and love him. When there is no such confidence, inferiority complexes may begin to arise.

Relationship with a shy girl

Sometimes a man does not know how to behave with a modest, beautiful girl: what to talk about, what places to invite, etc. These people feel discomfort in certain places and when communicating with a certain category of people. If a guy has a modest, shy girlfriend, you need to remember this and support her in everything:

• don't try to change it;
• find a common topic for conversation;
• stock up on time and patience;
• choose cozy, uncrowded meeting places;
• learn to keep your distance in everything;
• give the girl more personal space;
• reduce pressure and strength;
• keep yourself in control.

With such girls it is easy, but at the same time very difficult. They surround themselves with a wall, but overcoming it may be easier than it seems. Modest girls love coziness and comfort in relationships. To get them, you need patience and restraint. Almost always, modest ones become wonderful wives, understanding, able to make concessions, listen, and sympathize.

Character

Shy girls are always secretive. Their inner world is deep, but even the closest people cannot penetrate there. The girl protects her soul and does not let strangers in. A modest person behaves quietly and inconspicuously. She doesn't take part in noisy games and doesn't get into trouble. At school, girls of this type study well, and at home they always help their parents. Such persons have few close friends, since the process of meeting each other and subsequent communication causes an unpleasant feeling. The comfort zone of shy people is too narrow. Girls do not risk marrying her, since it is too difficult for them to do so.

How to understand that a shy girl likes you? There is no need to wait for a miracle. A girl will never be the first to talk to someone she likes. But if she really likes the person, she will not resist contact. The girl will support the conversation, although she will appear cold. If a shy person pays attention to you, it means she definitely likes you. And if a girl communicates with you every day, it means that she has let you into the circle of selected people, and this is a direct sign that you are not indifferent.

Excessive modesty

In society, a girl’s modesty will always be revered, but sometimes even such a bright quality can become a burden. There are times when it prevents one from opening up and becomes a kind of vice. Excessive modesty, which was instilled in a girl in childhood, can develop into stiffness and complexes. Not every area of ​​life needs shy people. Sometimes consistency in clothes and manners leads to the fact that an outwardly attractive woman turns into a gray mouse, an intimidated person who is afraid to speak out and interpret her point of view. In everything there must be a limit and a boundary drawn.

Shy girls become good wives and housewives, but sometimes they become fixated only on this. A man wants to see in front of him a modest but confident woman who knows how to not be afraid to carry on a conversation and communicate with people. A lady with excessive modesty can’t even dream of career advancement. Although management loves pliable, silent employees, proactive people will always be more highly valued. Modest women know how to combine restraint and work and achieve results. Very shy people should not forget about their individuality.

pros

How can you tell if a girl is shy or not? Look at her behavior and self-esteem. The more reserved a person is, the more shy he will be. What are the advantages of this quality? For the person himself - none. But for those around us - a lot. It is for this reason that shy people are loved. They are easy to control and manipulate. It is easier to go out into secular society with a shy child, and it is easier to manage him in the classroom. It is easier to manage a shy adult. Such a person will never express his opinion and will always obey.

By what criteria does a guy choose a girl?

If we talk about the fact that uncommunicative girls repel guys, then they are also not attracted to overly vulgar and intrusive people. More precisely, the lack of femininity will never attract a man, either a mature man or a teenager. Therefore, the bright appearance and sociability of a young girl is a clear advantage, which should be moderate.

At a young age, men evaluate a woman’s appearance not by her natural abilities, but by her ability to improve them. In other words, a guy is more likely to pay attention to a girl with moderately bright makeup than without it at all. A beautiful hairstyle and manicure, a penchant for experimenting with one’s appearance attracts and attracts guys. It is these qualities that modest girls are deprived of.

Sociability and a good sense of humor make a girl especially attractive . It is not easy to willingly enter into close relationships with such girls, but they can also just be friends or spend time together if they have common interests. Modest girls cannot always become an interesting conversationalist; more precisely, she will rather become just a listener.

By the way, overly arrogant and demanding people also repel guys, and much more often than modest women. Some girls are spoiled from an early age by expensive things and excessive attention from their parents. Young, insolvent guys cannot provide a girl with expensive gifts and beautiful courtship, and they simply do not want to give them constant attention, since by and large they themselves need care and guardianship.

Minuses

How to understand a shy girl? You need to listen carefully to what she says in those rare moments when she has the desire to share her thoughts or feelings with others. Is it difficult for a shy person to live in the world? Very. The girl cannot express her opinion because she is afraid of being judged by others. The young lady will doubt every decision she makes on her own and for this reason will come to the conclusion that it is better to fulfill the wishes of others than to fantasize something on her own. Limited communication creates a lack of interest in the world around us.

Positive traits

Modesty is always expressed in respect for other people, in awareness of boundaries. A woman with this quality is always tactful and will never impose her thoughts and ideas. She respects the choices and opinions of others. Does not publicly display his achievements. She has the ability to listen and give advice discreetly. Vanity, the search for praise and recognition - this is not about her. Women's modesty does not allow them to brag about their talents and natural abilities.

The virtues of modesty:

• open opportunities to analyze, learn from others' best qualities;
• lack of pride, envy;
• always have good relationships with others;
• the ability to accumulate collected energy;
• inner peace and vitality;
• protection from envy and negative influence;
• emphasizing kindness, femininity, tenderness, spiritual and external beauty;
• maintaining chastity.

Modest girls are always feminine and very attractive. This quality helps them perceive the world more calmly and thereby attract the male sex. The ability to develop modesty will become significant and will help you become kinder and more gentle.

Modest girls are feminine and attractive

Consequences

What fate is in store for shy girls? The meaning of this question is important for every person who wants to achieve something. Shy people will not be able to realize their potential. Why? Because if you always obey others and do what others ask, you can lose yourself. You need to be able to defend your opinion and fight for your interests. Otherwise, there is a chance to live a boring life, marry an unloved person, go to an uninteresting job and raise unloved children. Does this prospect seem too bleak? Then you need to fight what the environment and the teacher have built into your character.

Your daughter needs to always behave as positively as possible.

A young lady should be positive in life

People around us adore those who are always positive. Because they charge with positive energy. They lift your spirits. And they make others enjoy the process of interacting with them.

To be positive, a lady needs to do the following:

1. Smile. This must be done sincerely. And also, you must always be satisfied with life. In this case, a positive mood will be transmitted to others. And people will enjoy communicating with the young lady.
2. Laugh. Do this as often as possible. And sincerely too. A girl should try to evaluate any joke and pun from her friends positively. So that they have fun during the storytelling process.
3. Have fun. Cute girls usually participate in various adventures. They try in every possible way to hang themselves. And show your friendliness. A young lady needs to adopt this quality. And try to pay enough attention to showing friendliness.

Daughter needs to show modesty

Moderate shyness is very important. Thanks to her, girls develop an image of being cute. It is especially convenient if the young lady is modest, but at the same time easily makes contact with others.

It is important to maintain balance. A shy girl does not mean silent. Unfortunately, if the young lady is taciturn, then she will not be able to create an image of cuteness. Closed people are not considered such. Therefore, the young girl also has to learn to communicate with other people.

How to change your character

What should a shy girl do to overcome herself and become more confident and decisive? It is necessary to step out of your comfort zone from time to time. At first you need to do this once a week. How? You need to do those things that cause fear. A girl can approach her peer and get to know him, or she can, in the company of classmates, express her opinion and try to argue for it. At home, a shy person must show her parents that she is a living person, and not a machine for carrying out household errands. Any creative expression helps a lot to overcome shyness. A girl can go to a music or art studio, sign up for dancing or a handicrafts group. In such sections, a shy person will be able to find like-minded people and begin to express herself without fear.

Be interesting2

Most likely, a modest lady is interested in and well versed in music, architecture, art, and literature. Likes to discuss favorite topics and follow the progress of his interlocutor’s thoughts. And a man should provide her with such an interlocutor in his person. You need to test the waters, find out about her hobbies and start the conversation in the right direction. Let her feel in your atmosphere.

Give her the opportunity to talk, to express herself. And of course, you can’t lag behind and just listen. To attract her attention, it is not enough for a man to simply listen to her and periodically insert monosyllabic phrases and nods. The girl will wait to participate in the conversation. Therefore, a man should show genuine interest, conduct a full dialogue, and express his opinion.

You don't have to try to imitate her thoughts to show her complicity. On the contrary, it will be much more interesting for her to communicate with her opponent, listen to a different logic and, perhaps, engage in a simple argument. This way the man will show the girl his lively mind and the ability to use it, which she values ​​very highly.