How to attract a long-awaited call or meeting, even if your man hasn’t called for a whole week? Today I will tell you how my friend and I tested in practice 4 recommendations of Lisa Volkova for attracting men. Whether our experiment worked or not - read on...
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And I’ll start a little from afar...
Don't turn into a maniac
If you also have his number, promise us:
do not call him first ( exception: you promised to call him yourself);
do not pretend that you have the wrong number ( exception: you really are wrong);
do not write to him on Telegram that he is handsome in the photo ( the advantage of most messengers: you can show the handsome guy to your girlfriend);
do not look for him on Facebook to determine where he goes most often and do not watch for him in this place ( exception: what are you doing! No exceptions. This is generally some kind of persecution).
An experiment codenamed “The Man Doesn’t Call.” How we checked Lisa Volkova's recommendations
I'm a skeptic and love proven techniques. Therefore, I decided to try these rules of Lisa in practice. My husband glanced disapprovingly in my direction: the thought of an experimental date did not inspire him, of course. And then I turned to my other friend, Elena.
Lena just recently met Kirill, a new colleague from another office. A spark ran between them, and now a date was set. I suggested that Lena conduct an experiment if Kirill suddenly didn’t call back after the date. And she agreed.
The first experience turned out to be successful - for me. Not so good for Lena, because Kirill didn’t call her either the evening after the date or the next day.
And then we started with Lisa’s first two recommendations: put down the phone and take care of yourself.
We went for a pedicure together, then walked and chatted all day (not about Kirill). My friend's mood definitely lifted. And by evening she even stopped looking at her phone.
The next day Lena went to visit her grandmother. She loved to go there, but rarely got the chance. I returned inspired, and in the evening I went to a jazz concert.
In the morning we called each other - Lena was in a great mood. She said that she didn’t even think about Kirill all evening.
Then we moved on to recommendations 3 and 4 - creating intention and right thoughts.
Lena wrote in her diary: “Kirill is bored and calls me with joy and pleasure.” She said that when she wrote this, she thought: “How could it be otherwise? Let’s miss a girl like that!” Then I imagined his call and felt a trembling inside. She realized that everything would be as she dreams.
And calmly went to the gym.
Be honest with yourself
He may not call. It’s bad, of course, you don’t give out numbers to everyone, but honestly.
Do you remember how in “Promise does not mean marriage,” Drew Barrymore’s character was told: “If a man wants to call, he will call.” Well, we hope he wants to.
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My ideal man doesn't call or text
Happiness, joy and elation - this is what a girl should experience after a successful date. But in practice this is often not the case. Nervousness, confusion, awkwardness—it happens that this is exactly what is left after a date.
And all because the man does not call after the meeting. Not immediately, not the next day, not later. The man disappeared, disappeared! I am familiar with this situation and these feelings.
A little personal...
He seemed like my destiny. Tall, curly, smart, sexy, with humor - my ideal. We had beautiful dates, hot kisses, long intimate conversations. And then... he disappeared.
I looked at the phone with hope, then with anger, then with irritation at myself, then fell into depression - I went through all the phases of accepting the situation in a day. Every time the phone rang, time stopped and the countdown started again.
Things come first2
It is impossible for a woman to understand the fact that work and study are valid reasons for a man’s “silence.” They pout offendedly: “Whoever wants to, will find time for a phone call!” Absolutely true, but not entirely. Men are completely different creatures than women. They focus on one thing, while women have the opportunity to think about several things at once.
While performing important tasks, or solving a problem at work, a guy can think about a woman, remember the time spent with delight, dream, wanting to call, but not have such an opportunity. First, he will settle current affairs, and then allow himself to relax. As the song says: “Planes come first, and then girls!”
The unloved one is waiting for a call from me...4
It is worth recognizing the fact that a guy may indeed not call back due to his own indifference. He may be married or single. The evening spent with the lovely lady gave him pleasant impressions, but he has no further opportunity or desire to continue communicating with her. I took the phone number out of politeness, or giving in to a momentary impulse. A new day has come, and the man realizes that a certain “Marina” in his contacts is one of those subscribers whom he will never dial. Or, someday. Boredom.
The man took the phone number and disappeared immediately after meeting
Variant of the story. He saw you on a bus passing by, ran after you for a whole block, got on the bus at a stop and, very embarrassed, asked for your phone number, because he really liked you and was generally the girl of his dreams. At the same time, he was sober and adequate.
You agreed that he would call in the evening, and... 2 weeks have passed since then, and not a call from him, not a tiny text message. Why the hell did you get the number, you ask? It's annoying!
Why couldn't he call:
- he just didn't feel like it anymore. It happens that the romantic mood passes, a man switches to his life and forgets about this little adventure. Perhaps he was just bored, waiting for something, whiled away a free evening and had a little fun getting to know you, without originally planning to call. Or maybe he is even too lazy to get involved in a new relationship, especially if there is at least some alternative;
- he made a mistake in writing the phone number, or the number was not saved. Or maybe the phone committed suicide right after we met, or it was stolen. Oops, bad luck this time. Quite an unlikely situation. And if he really liked you a lot, most likely he will find a way to meet you;
- he is married or in a committed relationship. He couldn’t contain his impulse and met you, but then he thought it over and decided not to get involved in a relationship on the side. Or I hid your number away so that I can call you when the opportunity arises and my wife goes somewhere. While I was waiting, I forgot what you looked like and called the one I could remember (and that’s for the best);
- he met you on a bet, as proof he had to show your phone number, or your number is a trophy in itself that you can show off to your friends;
What does it mean if a guy calls at night?
- During the day he has a lot to do and is constantly busy. And at night his time is free for you.
- Your chosen one has a girlfriend. With her during the day, he has no opportunity to communicate with you, but at night, when he is alone, he does.
- The young man loves to drink and at night remembers his passions.
- Jealous. And checks whether you are at home at night or not. In any case, the guy should respect you and your right to sleep.
What to do if a guy starts calling less often: tips
- If you were previously the initiator of calls, then do the same as he did - call him less often. He may become concerned about your changed behavior pattern.
- Call him first. Ask how he is doing and listen to his voice. Perhaps the guy has problems and needs time to solve them.
- Find out from friends or relatives what your boyfriend is doing. This way you will know whether the reason why he did not call you is valid or not.
- Tell the guy that you care about him and ask him to call more often so that you don’t worry about him.
- Get him interested in conversation. Make a business call and ask for help. Ask how to reinstall a program or repair a door. He will feel strong and important. Perhaps he will help not only over the phone, but also come in person.
- Many men do not like empty chatter, and they themselves do not have a large vocabulary or eloquent manner. Chat more in person.
A man disappeared from a family or long-term cohabitation
Everything was fine, the family was created (or in the immediate plans), perhaps there were already children. And then, out of the blue, the man slammed the door and disappeared without explanation. Is this really possible?
Fortunately, rarely. This can only happen if in reality everything was not that good. But the wife chose the ostrich position. I buried my head in the sand and didn’t want to notice the problems. Because I didn’t know how to solve them, and I was afraid that everything would collapse. “A bad peace is better than a good quarrel, maybe it will somehow resolve itself,” she hoped. It didn’t resolve...
The reason for this could be scandals, insults and grievances that accumulated and accumulated, and one fine day he realized that he was either in the noose or free. Because otherwise it will explode so much that they will have to collect its remains within a radius of one hundred kilometers. The instinct of self-preservation makes him run. He can be understood, because he was not taught the ability to negotiate, hear another and competently convey his thoughts. And who was taught?
Therefore, I recommend that you take part for free in my reality training “You can’t break up when you return” https://vk.cc/bXWpR7, where we will help you analyze everything correctly.
The reason could also be that he fell in love with another woman who gave her an ultimatum, he couldn’t withstand the tension, and he didn’t have the courage to look you in the eyes. Just like long-term grievances with claims, a woman cannot help but notice that her husband has fallen in love with another. Therefore, here, too, it cannot be said that he disappeared for no reason. The woman understood what was happening, but was afraid to ask questions. And if you really didn’t notice, then can you really say about such a relationship “everything is fine with us”? In the family there is no closeness and understanding of what is happening to the other person. Not spouses, but cohabitants in a common area. When there is spiritual intimacy, a change in the other’s mood is felt almost instantly.
Leaving your family once and for all is not so easy. Parents and friends will force him to change his mind and come back (if you have created a good relationship with them, of course). Most likely, he will miss his children. And it wouldn’t hurt to get a divorce either, in order to create other relationships. Therefore, few people succeed in disappearing from their family without a trace.
Finally
If men often disappear from your life, then it is likely that the reason is you. Maybe from the first minute you want to marry every next man, and you behave too annoyingly? Or is your nature very hysterical and it would be worth working on yourself? There can be many reasons, each situation is individual.
Don't get attached to a man too quickly, let things take their course. Leave him the right to change his life whenever he wants. And don’t forget to give yourself this right.
And most importantly, stop blaming yourself for everything! Self-esteem is like a hundred-kilogram weight - it’s easy to drop and difficult to lift. If he has not forgotten his ex, this does not mean that you are worse, it’s just that his heart is closed to others. If he doesn’t like something about you, it doesn’t mean that you are bad, you just aren’t suitable for HIM.
After all, if it is important for you that a man, for example, likes to travel and does not smoke, then smoking homebody men are not bad at all, they are just not suitable for YOU. And there is no tragedy in this, because it is impossible to be good and suitable for everyone. Look for your man who will be delighted with your qualities.
I recommend the cool film “Promising Doesn’t Mean Getting Married” and my film training based on this film. It becomes clear where most problems in relationships come from. The harsh truth of life.
Why no explanation?
It would seem, well, just say humanly that you don’t want to continue, and that’s the end of it. A woman will not suffer in the unknown. But no. And why is that?
The main reason for this is fear. Suddenly you start making trouble, sort things out, accuse him of all sins, cut off his phone, watch at the door, threaten, or even smash his car or face. And so it seems that he hid his head in the sand, and you see - everything will sort itself out, she will survive and calm down.
Although his hopes look stupid, it is still pointless to blame him for them. After all, women often do even worse than he could imagine in his worst nightmare. If all women calmly reacted to the proposal to leave, did not reproach him and did not cry, did not try to get a reason from him, did not persuade him to change his mind and stay where he does not want to stay, then it is quite possible that he would not disappear after all. English
That is, if women knew their worth and behaved with dignity. If he doesn’t want to, it means he doesn’t want to, this is his decision and choice, it is impossible to be suitable for everyone, and you are good enough to arrange your personal life happily without him. If all women had this much self-esteem and confidence, the world would be a completely different place, full of responsible men. I wrote in detail about the benefits of female dignity in family happiness in this article.
Also, the reason may be the feeling of being the navel of the Earth. He is sure that everyone around him thinks and feels the same as he does. In his head, he has built logical arguments why your relationship has no future, and he is absolutely sure that everything is just as clear to you, this is more than logical!
He doesn’t take into account that this is only logical for him, and you have your own feelings about the relationship with him, and about all other reasons too. Needless to say, women are guilty of this no less often. For example, when you are sure that it is logical - after six months of a relationship, buy the most expensive ring that you can afford, invite you to a restaurant, get down on one knee and, shedding tears of love and admiration, propose to the woman.
And he may have his own logic about when, to whom and how to make an offer. The woman gets offended and leaves him, and he doesn’t even understand why he was abandoned.
Or a woman thinks that it is logical and natural to help her when she is puffing and straining, dragging bags from the store, or washing dishes late at night, when everyone is already asleep. But this is not logical for a man - well, since she washes and drags, that means she wants to do it, she needs it, well, for her health, he has nothing to do with it.
People with poor boundaries tend to judge by themselves. This is how two adult small children, who still have not realized where one person ends and another begins, ruin each other’s relationships and lives.
Another option could be a period of doubt. When a woman has gone a little too far with the approach, and he wants to move away to see if he will be pulled back. If she doesn’t get hysterical and just minds her own business, then most likely he will get bored and will be attracted to her again.
Should you call your boyfriend after a quarrel?
Here opinions differ. Some people find it easier to figure things out by talking things out. Therefore, you need to call, especially if you are to blame . Otherwise, you will undermine his pride.
Those who are against calling a guy after a quarrel believe that in this way a woman will maintain her dignity. Well, the nerves of the guy who will listen to her whining or hysterical tone. But you need to hold out and wait for an apology from your boyfriend , because if you give in first to concessions, you will concede to him for the entire period of the relationship.
In fact, quarrels and their causes are different and should be looked at according to the situation and the character of the partner.
The girl goes on the attack6
What should a poor, anxious girl do, waiting for a phone call day and night? First of all, calm down and surrender to the will of Fate. A man's silence does not always mean his indifference. He may be busy, upset, out of tune, and generally overwhelmed with huge problems. You need to give him time, and for each guy it is individual: a day, a week, a month, and even six months...
Should a woman take the first step and call first? Controversial issue. Perhaps the guy lost the young lady’s number and got busy looking for some contacts of a beautiful stranger. In this case, her call will be very helpful. In modern times, active women have not surprised anyone for a long time, but it is still worth knowing. One phone call from a girl will help you continue communication with a guy or dot the i’s. But under no circumstances should you pursue a man:
- call several times a day;
- bombard with questions like: “Why didn’t you call?”
- look for meetings, keep watch near work and home;
- send intrusive SMS.
A friendly call from a woman with an unobtrusive and discreet desire to communicate is quite acceptable. But if at the other end of the line they do not want to continue dating, the girl needs to politely say goodbye and delete the contact.
If a man needs a woman, sooner or later he will find a reason, a reason and an opportunity to contact her.
A man suddenly disappeared at the beginning of a relationship
You started a relationship, everything seemed to be fine, perhaps you even managed to become friends not only with your hearts, but also with your bodies. And then bam - you realize that it’s been washed away for a whole week. Or he gradually faded away, called less and less often, and the time between meetings lasted longer and longer, and eventually stopped showing signs of life. You feel crushed, and thoughts are swarming in circles in your head: “Why? What did I do wrong? How can I fix everything?”
Alas, not all men have the courage to at least write a text message saying that everything is over between you. Not to mention a personal meeting. And is this meeting necessary? There is no longer a relationship, and what difference does it make how he told you about it? What if he didn’t say anything and just disappeared without explanation?
In this case, women most often begin to blame themselves. And in vain.
If you disappear at the beginning of a relationship, the reasons may be different:
1. He died or something tragic happened to him. Again, it is possible. This is a very unlikely case, so I highly recommend not calling him, asking if everything is okay with him, and if he has breathed his last. Moreover, you shouldn’t wait at the door of his apartment to “just talk and dot the t’s.”
If you have been in a relationship for some time and are very worried about his life, ask mutual friends about him once. If they are not there and there is no one to find out about its existence, then you can still easily check it yourself. Wait for him near work or home. The main thing is to do it from afar and don’t catch the eye of either him or your mutual friends! Otherwise, he will think too much about himself, or worse, he will feel like a victim of an abnormal hunter and is unlikely to ever show up.
As a last resort, you can also write him a message: “Hi, how are you?” Delivered, but no response, and yet it regularly appears online? So, point number 2.
2. He just doesn't like you. Maybe you liked him initially, but didn’t like him, he saw that you and he had different interests, views on life and goals, and you weren’t on the same path. Or he started dating you out of boredom, without thinking about whether he likes you. Doesn’t it really happen to women that, out of boredom, they indulge a little in a relationship with someone who is not very interesting and with whom nothing long-term is initially planned? The boredom has passed, and the need for a relationship with you has disappeared. How can he explain this? That’s why he prefers to evaporate in silence.
How to get a guy to call: advice from psychologists
- Say that you are going to a party with your friends. Most guys are jealous and will call periodically.
- It is necessary that he constantly has a reminder of you in his sight. For example, your photo on the screensaver of a smartphone or computer; a figurine given by you; cup with words of love.
- Stop calling him. This method can make a guy think about the reasons for your behavior. He will be worried and will call more often.
- Chat with his friends. In company, they will be more likely to mention you or ask how you are doing. This will make the guy remember about you and call.
- He must miss you. Be fun, sincere and unique. If he gets bored without you, then a call is inevitable.
The guy doesn't call? Do not despair. There are many options for this behavior. It’s better to have a heart-to-heart talk with him and find out the reason. If you met recently, do not discount the options of losing your number, blocking your SIM card, or breaking your phone. If he is really interested in you, then all problems can be solved and the guy will definitely make himself known. And if not, look for a more worthy partner who will appreciate you.
