Female infidelity is a big stress for both spouses. The relationship between a man and a woman goes through a large number of tests over time, after which they either become even stronger or are destroyed forever. One of these tests may be infidelity on the part of one of the spouses. In this article, we will look at the main reasons for a wife’s infidelity, how to forgive a wife’s infidelity and how this will affect a man.
We tell you why female infidelity happens
Why does my wife cheat?
As you know, representatives of the fairer sex are on average more emotional than men. According to most women, the main reason for cheating is the lack of attention from the spouse and lack of understanding. All this leads to moral rejection of the partner, and the woman seeks attention and satisfaction on the side. For example, the cause may be male alcoholism, due to which a man pays little attention to his significant other.
It is very important to distinguish moral betrayal from physical betrayal. When the cause is dissatisfaction in bed. For a wise man, coping with such a problem is many times easier and accepting such betrayal is much easier.
Also, betrayal can be forced. This situation can happen to a boss: when, under the threat of dismissal, a woman is forced to satisfy his wishes. Or the boss pays the woman extra for sexual pleasures, while the wife is not satisfied with her husband’s salary and thus tries to solve the family’s financial problems. Whether it is worth forgiving a girl’s betrayal in this situation is a moot point.
Why can a wife cheat?
Why you can’t forgive a woman’s infidelity
Should you forgive your wife's infidelity? Many people say that any betrayal can be forgiven if you love a woman. However, as practice shows, this is not entirely true. In what cases can a woman’s infidelity not be forgiven? For some men, a relationship with a cheater is impossible on principle, even if the woman cheated in the name of the family. It is also unclear to many how to forgive their wife’s betrayal and move on with their lives. Rather, it depends on the man himself, because often after this a person loses trust in his partner, which is very difficult to regain. Each time the husband will imagine someone else next to his wife and compare himself with his competitor. This may be the reason for not forgiving a woman’s infidelity. The main question is, is it even possible to forgive a wife’s betrayal?
Husbands and wives may have different perceptions of infidelity. If the wife does not admit her guilt and does not repent for her actions, then it is very likely that the spouses have different views on family life. And here the question is whether the spouses are ready to put up with each other’s different views on life.
Why can you forgive your wife's betrayal?
As you know, relationships are a lot of work for both. And the question often arises: is it possible to forgive a wife’s betrayal? If a man loves his other half very much and is not ready to give up the relationship because of fleeting attractions or, moreover, allow it to destroy the family, he can forgive the betrayal. How to forgive your wife's betrayal in this case? The answer is simple - you should treat your loved one with understanding.
Moreover, adultery can become the very test that will strengthen the relationship between a man and a woman and force spouses to pay more attention to each other.
How does a wife's betrayal affect a man?
Why do people cheat - says Sergey Ashmanov, nutritionist, teacher, expert at Colady magazine
The answer to the question is easy - no, you cannot forgive betrayal. The question is the circumstances. It’s one thing when family relationships are going very badly, but another thing is when harmony and comfort reign in the family. In the first case, the question arises: what is the point in a relationship if it only has a negative message? In the second case, what is the point of changing if there is harmony and comfort in the family?
It’s worth understanding why people cheat. The answer is: women cheat because they want revenge, and men cheat because a woman just turned up.
Most often, if a married man sleeps with another woman, it means that, to put it mildly, he is a person with reduced social responsibility, he has distorted moral principles, he has a bad personality and is generally not a good person. It is quite obvious that if you have a woman, your beloved is your wife, then other women should not interest you at all.
Let's look at a couple of situations. It doesn’t happen that a woman, coming home from her favorite job, cooked a delicious dinner, washed her clothes, played with the children, and then sat down in her chair and thought: “Now I’ll go and cheat with Igoryosha, a friend of my beloved husband.” Agree that this is absurd.
Frequent family quarrels, misunderstandings, constant ultimatums and the like, intimate restrictions are the reasons for future betrayal. A man is used to insulting his woman, especially in public, as well as teaching her, offending her, humiliating her, telling her how to dress. Then, most likely, his wife will cheat on him.
A woman sleeps with her husband’s friend because she wants to annoy her husband, to hit him where it hurts most, this is primitive revenge. Not because she likes her husband’s friend or because they have known each other for a long time, but because the woman is dissatisfied with what is happening with her husband, for which she takes revenge in this way. And you know that in 90% of cases a man learns everything from his own wife, because it hurts more.
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Or let's look at another situation: a husband sleeps with his wife's friend. Why? Because he just wants peace of mind; so that someone would tell him: “You’re great, you’re the best.” He's just looking for someone to comfort himself with, that's all. For a woman it is always revenge.
The second option is when a woman begins to doubt her husband’s intimate qualifications. In other words, he doesn’t suit her, and she starts telling him something like, “Somehow it’s not enough,” “Is that all?” After several such messages, a man may think, “Am I really that bad? We should check it on another woman.” This is roughly how it all happens. There's no romanticism in all these stories, you know? Everything is clear and simple.
Many ladies have the opinion that all men cheat. You tell them: “No, not everything,” and she tells you: “Everything!” Then I want to say: “Everyone of yours cheated on you, but for others everything is fine in life.” Not all women and not all men cheat.
Everything is never abrupt, there is always a backstory. You need to dig a little deeper to understand the meaning of your family problems.
Cheating is a serious disappointment. The woman thought she had a happy family, but she didn’t. Cheating occurs not when everything is fine in the family, but when the marriage has already fallen apart. When cheating, people need to stop communicating and distance themselves.
Is it possible to rebuild the relationship? Can. But no one will need such a second chance anymore. You can forgive betrayal, but you can no longer live together. You lose trust in the person. Forever.
What do men think about?
Female infidelity is a betrayal, a strong blow to a man and his pride. The news of a girl's infidelity is almost always unexpected and very painful. Is it worth forgiving a girl's betrayal? After all, the man feels that a replacement has been found for him, he has been humiliated and betrayed. At such moments, a man often has thoughts:
- “Is it possible to forgive your wife’s betrayal?”
- “How to forgive your wife’s betrayal and move on?”
- “Why can’t you forgive a woman’s infidelity?”
and many others.
There is only one piece of advice - you should wait until the emotions subside, and then move on to negotiations.
First, you should listen to the man, the woman will understand what her betrayal means to her husband and then it will become clear whether there is any hope of saving the relationship or not. If the husband has forgiven his wife for his betrayal, the latter needs to make a lot of effort to regain trust.
What is the difference between male and female infidelity
How to regain peace of mind
To understand how to restore trust in a relationship, women must realize that family life largely depends on the efforts of both partners. You should not shift all responsibility to the chosen one. Trust is a special part of love.
It is easiest for a woman to be offended, to revel in the pain and be afraid of losing contact with her husband. At the same time, you are dealing with your fears, and not solving the problem. A woman needs to leave this blaming position and let go of the past.
She needs to start living life to the fullest. Doesn't any woman deserve love and respect? You can continue to enjoy life and experiment with your appearance. Healthy selfishness has never hurt anyone.
A woman should open up to new knowledge and acquaintances. Thanks to this, her life will be filled with new meaning and relieve her of negative thoughts.
A woman should look for inspiration. You can also keep a “success diary” where you note all the good moments that happened that day. It's time to change your picture of the world.
It is important for a woman to monitor her health, which is a guarantee of her attractiveness. Over time, tragic events will become a thing of the past and will not become so traumatic.
When visiting a psychiatrist, many women ask whether cheating can be forgiven. At the same time, the husband asks for forgiveness and dreams of saving the family. How can a woman believe in his sincerity and return to her previous relationship?
The difference between male and female infidelity
Many psychologists say that the motivations for cheating in men and women are often very different. Is it possible to forgive a girl's betrayal? Probably depending on the circumstances. Thus, men cheat more often out of physiological desire than from having loving feelings for a girl; they lack sexual satisfaction at home and therefore decide to fill the need on the side.
However, social factors may also play a role here. Namely, a man’s status in society is often determined by the presence of an expensive car, apartment, etc. Among this list, a man may also have a mistress. In this case, a woman should simply either come to terms with this or end such a relationship, because you cannot change a person by force without his desire to change himself.
Husband found out about his wife's cheating
What to do: break up or forgive betrayal
The answer of numerous experts to the question: “Is it worth forgiving a girl after cheating?” ambiguous. There is no universal solution. Each situation is purely individual, and its reasons can be completely diverse. Don't follow the majority's opinion. The most important thing now is to find the reason for looking for love on the side.
The heart will tell you whether to forgive betrayal. Do a thorough analysis, find out whether the relationship lasted for a long time when it first happened. If she repented, and the betrayal happened only once, then perhaps it’s worth giving a chance, because no one is immune from mistakes. True, this is usually what men do, who are called “aleni.” The main fact here is, can you continue to live, realizing the betrayal? Forgiveness is half the battle, but forgetting everything is not easy. If you doubt that you will be able to cope with this, then maybe you shouldn’t go back, because it will only bring additional pain. You need to understand that when this happened for the first time, there are no guarantees.
What often happens is with your ex-boyfriend, here you become hostage to their past passion, which was not forgotten by them. What to do, definitely leave them alone and remember the two words “third wheel”, it definitely turned out to be you.
In case of betrayal at a distance. Here we mean greater temporary isolation from each other. This is also not an excuse. It means I wasn’t expecting you and didn’t value my feelings. Most likely she needs you as a source of income who sends money from her earnings. And in your absence, she has fun and manages your finances.
How to deal with a situation with a girl who was in a relationship also gives a clear answer that you need to dump her. She is unreliable and be glad that she is not married and has no children with her, if so, then you are lucky. This will help you avoid financial losses.
Cheating on a girl while drunk can be considered one of the most common; its whole essence is visible here. Namely, the inability to control oneself leads to fatal mistakes. Why do you need a frivolous and accessible woman who can become so if she consumes an extra 100 grams. I also put emphasis on childbearing in the presence of such a bad habit, what it can give birth to and from whom.
Men's views on whether betrayal can be forgiven vary. It’s one thing if it happened once and again, when it lasted for a long time, and the betrothed was not going to tell. Unfortunately, such relationships are doomed. You understand that this happened intentionally, which means that feelings for your lover overshadowed your relationship with you. This is a real betrayal, so think carefully about whether it is worth associating your future life with such a woman.
If flirting and affairs happen on a regular basis, then you should leave such a partner as soon as possible. Even great love cannot change the current situation. Come to terms with the idea that this is simply not your person, and boldly move on in life.
If you have made a mutual decision to keep the couple, then be sure to take a short break. This will create balance, relieve angry feelings and resentment. Don't find out the details of the affair. Reconsider the mistake of the love union and correct it if possible. Leave the past in the past!
What to do if your husband finds out about cheating
If the fact of betrayal is already known, making excuses and saying: “I didn’t want to” is not the best idea. The fact of betrayal is there and it is undeniable. Questions hover in a man’s head: “Is it worth forgiving betrayal?” “How to forgive betrayal and move on?”, and “How to forgive your wife’s betrayal and save your family?”
Try to put yourself in his place. Imagine that your husband cheated on you. Think about how you would feel at this moment? In my practice, there were several cases when a man cheated in response, so that his wife would feel the same.
As was written earlier, you should wait until the first emotional outburst has passed, and then calmly discuss this with your spouse. Should a man forgive a girl’s betrayal? This is a question for a man. It is important for a woman to understand for herself the reason for her betrayal and whether she wants to live with an unloved person. If the reason is a fleeting attraction and a woman, despite this, loves and appreciates her husband very much, she should treat him with understanding and put herself in her husband’s place. Explain to him the reason for her betrayal and admit her guilt.
If a man has forgiven his wife for his betrayal, then she will have to win the trust of her beloved again. This is a long journey that spouses overcome together.
How to avoid mistakes
There are many mistakes that men make out of resentment and anger after they find out about adultery. For example:
- Revenge - to show how painful her action is, the man decides to cheat in response. Remember that in this case, the burden of guilt will further affect your emotional state, and will make maintaining the relationship impossible.
- Remembering - a man gives a chance for correction, but at every opportunity he reproaches his wife for infidelity. This will not only not help you forget, but will also become a reason for constant conflicts.
- Indifference - in order to punish an unfaithful woman, a man demonstrates to her in every possible way his indifference, the absence of any feelings. Sooner or later she will stop believing in a possible reunion and will simply leave.
- Bad habits - against the backdrop of stress and mental pain, there is a desire to muffle it all with alcohol or other substances. Temporary relief can lead to addiction, and she will only become even more convinced that she is not on the right path with such a man.
- Loss of self-esteem - betrayal can cause complexes, self-doubt, and self-criticism. Undoubtedly, in any situation, both partners are always to blame. But this does not mean that you are worse than anyone. This is an incentive to rethink your behavior and work on self-improvement.
Did you cheat in retaliation?
Not really
How to forgive your wife for cheating - Advice from a psychologist
The path to reconciliation after betrayal, as in many other family quarrels, lies through the ability to talk and hear your interlocutor. Therefore, it is very important to respect your other half, not interrupt, and begin negotiations only after the first emotions have cooled down.
Very often, in order to establish a dialogue between a couple, a psychologist is needed. After all, no matter how terrible it is, for many couples it is very difficult to discuss their problems constructively. In this case, the help of a psychologist is needed so that everyone can speak out without interrupting their partner.
And then there is a discussion: identifying the reasons for the betrayal and finding compromises. Should you forgive your wife's infidelity? The advice of a psychologist in this case may be unnecessary. Since the reason for betrayal can be quite deep, even after a serious conversation, the couple’s family life will change significantly. Both must be prepared for this. How to forgive betrayal? The difficulty lies in restoring trust in a partner; action is required on both sides. For example, spouses agree to pay more attention to each other or make attempts to diversify their family and sexual life: to bring into them the former romance and passion.
How to forgive your wife for cheating - advice from a psychologist
How to get rid of the fear of cheating again
If a woman has decided to save her family, then she needs to trust her husband again. First, she must learn to control her feelings. A woman often has a feeling of fear that this situation may happen again.
How to learn to trust your husband after cheating? To do this you need to do the following:
- A woman should distract herself from such thoughts. She can go to the pool or gym. Communicate with friends more often. But you shouldn't start talking about treason. This will not allow emotions to cool down and will traumatize the soul.
- A woman can occupy herself with a hobby. This could be knitting, embroidery, reading books. She needs to change her style and hairstyle.
- You can engage in your self-development. Read fiction and scientific literature.
- The most important rule for a woman is to love and respect herself. This will raise her in the eyes of others.
- A woman should try not to be jealous of her husband, but give him freedom. Let him be afraid of losing his wife, who behaved wisely and at the same time looks wonderful.
- If a woman cannot cope with the current situation on her own, then it is best for her to consult a psychologist. This way you can solve the problem faster.
It is such a woman who will be able to attract attention to herself, and not a lady who is depressed. Seeing the changes that have happened to her, the husband will value his wife more.
Why is betrayal forgiven?
There are many reasons why many couples, even after cheating, still keep their family together. The main reason is love for your soulmate. Many forgive betrayal because they are not ready to lose a loved one because of fleeting hobbies. Most men are puzzled by how to forgive their wife’s infidelity and save their family. The answer lies in mutual understanding and restoration of mutual trust.
However, whether to forgive his wife’s infidelity is the choice of every man. And the woman in this case must accept any decision of her husband.
Why men forgive infidelity
Why are women more likely to forgive infidelity than men?
Cheating on a spouse is a painful phenomenon for both men and women. However, as practice shows, society treats male and female infidelity differently.
Public opinion says that a woman who has forgiven betrayal is wise and managed to save her family, and a man who has forgiven betrayal is henpecked and a cuckold.
However, it is worth understanding that such social attitudes are a relic of the past and the main thing that should worry a man is his attitude towards his woman. Is it worth forgiving your wife’s infidelity because of this? The advice of a psychologist suggests that public opinion is the last thing you should pay attention to.
How to understand and forgive betrayal
What if you still forgive?
“I’m ready to forgive anything, but not a woman’s infidelity!” – my friend stated unequivocally when we talked about his divorce. What if you still forgive?
After marital betrayal, relationships will change. Many couples try to save their marriage for the sake of their common children, while others do not break up because of the hope of reviving their former love. It is difficult to predict the development of the situation. Most unions fall apart over time, but there are also the opposite examples, when spouses go through infidelity and still restore the relationship. This may take many years. Sometimes the saving solution is to contact a family psychologist.
Any betrayal, be it male or female, is a betrayal towards a partner.
To forgive her or not is up to each person. But if you still follow a peaceful path and try to forgive, then you need not to bear grudges for years and not keep silent about your experiences. Only honest and open communication between partners will help save a marriage.
How to strengthen relationships
To build trust in a relationship, spouses need to spend more time with each other. If you don't have a vacation planned, you can travel on weekends. At this time, a woman will be able to discover new character traits of her husband.
From time to time, thoughts about betrayal will pop up. Especially initially. Spouses should not start a conversation about this. As a result, all efforts will go to waste and the family will fall apart.
If a woman doesn’t know whether cheating can be forgiven, then the most ideal option is to cross out the past. It is best to start your married life anew. And try not to make mistakes that served as a reason for betrayal. Ideally, the couple can have another honeymoon.
