- September 5, 2018
- Manias and Phobias
- Legina Marina
There are people who don't like to talk about themselves. Moreover, they try not to attract attention and, of course, spend time mostly alone with themselves or members of their family. And when it comes time to get a job, they try to find an option where they don’t have to go through an interview and present themselves to the manager. Often such a person says: “I’m afraid to go for an interview.” What is behind these words and what can be done to overcome this fear?
What's behind the scenes?
Of course, going to the employer’s company itself does not bode well. It's just an organization where people work. When a person says “I’m afraid to go for an interview,” he means something slightly different. He is afraid to hear a refusal, or rather, a refusal again.
Here we need to clarify what an interview looks like in the eyes of most people. Many people see the situation approximately as follows: you came, told about yourself, listened to about the company, or immediately heard that you were not hired, or did not receive any answer and concluded that you did not pass. This is also reflected in human behavior. He comes with a pre-prepared program.
Causes of fear
Fear appears for various reasons - change of workplace, team, management. A new, high position causes stress. A person worries before going through an interview, probationary period, or internship. He is afraid of not passing the test exam, the results of which mean failure or success. The reason may be a negative experience at a previous place of work - distrust of colleagues, an aggressive and overly hardworking boss, poor working conditions, low pay. The person is worried that the same situation awaits him now.
Fear of the boss
Often, when changing jobs or moving, an employee thinks about their boss. After all, he does not know about his personal qualities and attitude towards employees. Afraid of excessive demands and aggression from the director.
It happens that a world-famous company invites an employee. He settled into his new workplace, established contacts with colleagues, and began to cope well with his responsibilities. The boss suddenly changed. Instead of a kind and understanding person, a dictatorial manager came. He does not take into account the initiatives and ideas of his employees, he is not interested in other people's problems.
Women and young mothers are especially afraid of such bosses. Worried that they cannot cope with such pressure, they leave their new place of work.
Others decide to take this step because they do not want to develop mental disorders.
Fear of the team
A new person in an established team cannot be ignored. At first, he will be the main object of gossip, sometimes even ridicule. But if the employee initially presents himself competently, then such a situation can be avoided.
The main reasons for the appearance of fear of the team are associated with fear:
- be found professionally unsuitable;
- not being knowledgeable enough in the required area;
- fail to meet your goals (fail to meet a deadline, complete a task incorrectly, make a mistake in calculations, etc.);
- not being able to find contact with colleagues;
- to be superfluous;
- to be rejected and misunderstood.
A positive attitude will help you win over your colleagues on your first day of work. Negative attitudes need to be replaced with positive ones. It is necessary to imagine that the newcomer is greeted with joy. They show you a new workplace, share secrets, talk about your boss. You need to remember all your successful attempts to meet people. It happens that an appropriately told joke or funny story relieves tension in a conversation.
Social fears
Fear of a new position
A new position means new responsibilities and higher demands. Responsibility increases. If this is a leadership position, then the person must supervise the work of subordinates. The manager is responsible for any trouble, incorrectly completed task, or errors in the report. The main reasons for fear of a position:
- not be accepted by subordinates;
- cannot cope with a large number of tasks;
- make mistakes in calculations, preparation of reports, distribution of bonuses;
- to be ridiculed for a ridiculous act;
- fail to justify the trust of the boss;
- stay at work late or continue working from home after the end of the shift;
- make wrong decisions, etc.
For some employees, even a high salary is not an argument. They are afraid of disappointing the boss who offered them a new position. Traits clearly appear: self-doubt, low self-esteem, suspiciousness. A panic attack, hysteria, and nervous breakdowns occur.
When moving to a new position, people are often afraid to stay at work late
I'm afraid to go for an interview
In fact, there can only be one recommendation here. We need to go to events like this more often. Even if you are employed and do not plan to change your job, it is worth visiting recruiting agencies from time to time. There are many reasons for this. Let's look at the main ones:
- It won't hurt you anyway. This is an iron rule that can become a motto.
- You will know exactly how much you are worth on the market. Sometimes a person works for years in a position he doesn’t like just because he doesn’t know about his capabilities. Tell him that he can earn just as much (if not more) in another job that is closer to his liking, and he will most likely reconsider his views.
- You will stop being afraid of recruiters. It is very important. “I’m afraid to go for interviews” is a forgivable phrase for a young specialist who has no experience. But as you grow professionally, interviews should become an opportunity to learn something new and meet interesting people. That is, the procedure should become familiar, and therefore safe.
Calmly and openly express your concerns
No matter how nervous you are: maintain eye contact with those you're talking to. If you constantly look at the floor or avoid the gaze of your interlocutors, this indicates your insecurity. Don't fidget nervously in your chair.
Everyone deals with anxiety differently. While one is silent, the other just chatters incessantly. But you shouldn't do that. If you can't concentrate because you're nervous and taking a deep breath isn't helping, calmly and openly say that you're feeling really nervous right now.
Firstly, your interlocutor has most likely already noticed this. Secondly, such an admission can break the ice, and you give your interlocutor the opportunity, thanks to a pleasant reaction, to take away your excitement.
Is refusal scary?
This is the main point. By saying “I'm afraid of an interview,” a person means that he is afraid of being rejected. And the more self-sufficient he is, the easier it will be for him to endure this moment. Conversely, low self-esteem and painful pride make any refusal too painful. It’s no wonder that the applicant will do everything to avoid hearing it again.
You need to understand well that the competition is being held to fill a vacant position. To do this, the recruiter has to talk to dozens of different people. And he says the word no to each of them, except one lucky one. If you were refused, then rest assured that in addition to you, several other people heard the same answer. There's nothing wrong with this, it's just another step towards the moment when you take the desired position.
Music must flow from the lips
To overcome interview fears, you need to be loud and clear. Sounds that are literally forced and intermittently pushed into freedom will not be appreciated, nor will a small voice. For relaxation and general calm, it is better to do breathing exercises.
You need to slowly, in five seconds, fill your lungs with air, hold it in and also slowly exhale. Do this exercise several times. At the same time, the body will be saturated with oxygen, breathing will be regulated, which will have a beneficial effect on speech.
It is worth paying close attention to what exactly will be said during the interview. You shouldn’t come up with complexly composed sentences - under stress, you can get confused in them.
Short simple sentences, but not at the “Yes, no, I don’t know” level. It is important to monitor the parasitic words, or rather, their absence. It’s better to speak slowly and with pauses than to try to catch up with sentences with drawn-out “uh-ohs.”
Calm, just calm
A recruiter is far from the worst thing that can come your way in life. Of course, you need to try to appear before him exactly as, in his opinion, an ideal candidate for this position should be. This is difficult to do, but possible. To do this, you need to carefully prepare for the meeting.
It’s not enough to say “I’m afraid to go for an interview.” You still need to do everything so that fear recedes and gives you the opportunity to get the job of your dreams. And a person fears, first of all, the unknown. Therefore, first of all, try to collect information about the company where you are going to get a job. This will allow you to ask more specific questions and demonstrate your interest in the position. We will provide information about the receptions below, but for now let's return to the recruiter.
Take control of your facial expressions
To prevent your face from exuding panic fear during an interview, you need to relax it. To do this, take control of your facial expressions.
For one minute, make faces, as, for example, the famous comedian and funny man Jim Carrey does: raise and lower your eyebrows, frown, smile and curl your lips into a tube, move your jaw from side to side and back and forth. This way you will warm up your facial muscles, feel that tension goes away and your smile becomes more natural.
Not a friend, but not an enemy either
This is simply a person who has been assigned to talk to different people in order to compare them with some sample of the optimal employee (in a given place and for a specific position). If you are afraid of a job interview, then remember that a recruiter is also an employee who also goes through a competitive selection process. This means that you can behave with him as an equal. But do not confuse this with permissiveness.
The recruiter is not a monster at all; he will not put hot rods to your chest or influence you with other similar methods.
He has a specific task: to find a person with certain characteristics. And he sifts through the entire stream of candidates precisely in order to select an applicant for a position under a specific filter. He, even more than you, needs to find someone like him as quickly as possible and fill the vacancy. But in some cases, it is better to hear a refusal than to get a job in the wrong place and quit voluntarily after a few days.
Often, a recruiter looks not only at whether you are a good fit for the team, but also at whether the team is a good fit for you. Therefore, sometimes refusal can be seen as caring and as a blessing.
Very often, HR employees may hear: “I’m afraid to go for an interview, what should I do?” Go again and again. The more often you are in a similar situation, the less it will traumatize and bother you.
Use breathing techniques
There are various breathing techniques that can help reduce anxiety, focus, and tune in to the interview. Before the interview, take a few minutes to yourself and breathe: on a count from 1 to 4, you need to take a smooth breath in through your nose, and then exhale through your mouth on a count from 1 to 8.
“Sometimes during an interview an employer may ask provocative questions. Often this is done intentionally - as a kind of test for stress resistance and conflict. These qualities are perhaps the most popular items on applicants' resumes, so it's quite possible that your potential boss is just trying to catch you out by asking an awkward question. Try to answer without unnecessary emotions. But if the employer puts you in an awkward position throughout the interview, think about whether you are ready to work in this company,” added Irina Shvets , director of the State Budgetary Institution “My Career”.
Analysis
After a failed interview, feelings of inferiority will persist for some time, even with good preparation. Candidates complain of a feeling of internal discomfort and indignation. Allow yourself to experience all these feelings, but then try to scroll through the interview almost frame by frame: how you entered, how you sat down, how you behaved and where you started the conversation.
It is quite possible that in the course of such work you yourself will find the reason for the refusal, and also have fun at how funny you looked. That is, it is advisable to learn a lesson from what you saw and heard. This will help a lot next time. Of course, you can say that the company simply does not deserve an employee like you. But this approach can hardly be called rational.
Restoring self-esteem
One of the effective techniques is to attend the next interview immediately. After a fall, performers in a circus are immediately sent back under the big top until they realize what happened. So here, you need to avoid a situation where you say: “I'm afraid of an interview. What to do?" Go to a lesser-known company whose managers are more loyal. Do this even if the position is not very interesting to you. This will provide an opportunity to emphasize your competence, as well as restore internal balance. That is, after listening to the manager, calmly explain why you decided to refuse this offer. Remember that not only are you chosen, but you also have the right to choose.
Getting ready for an interview
For everything to go smoothly, you need to be well prepared. To do this, collect all the information you can about the company and study it carefully. This applies to the scope of activity, the presence of branches and development strategy. Prepare a couple of questions. This is one part of the preparatory program.
The second is your appearance. Try to find out about the recruiter. Men pay less attention to detail, so the suit can be anything. The main thing is that it is clean and tidy. If you are talking with a woman, it makes sense to add a memorable element in the form of a scarf or brooch. Don't go overboard with cosmetics and perfume, not everyone likes it.
And the third block is your behavior. Try to pre-play the interview situation at home. You need to walk in confidently, smile casually and say hello. Write a short self-presentation, remember your strengths.
And remember, the interview can always be repeated. And if you were not accepted for this position, it means that fate has another one in store for you.
Ways to get rid of fear
Successful managers often speak in public and give advice on how to get rid of the fear of a new job. They share their success stories and talk about techniques. The most popular among them are affirmations and breathing techniques.
Affirmations
A positive attitude is the key to success. Affirmations will help lift your mood before your first day at work. They will improve your psychological state, eliminate all fears, and eliminate self-doubt. Examples of affirmations for setting yourself up for successful activities:
- I’m an excellent specialist, so everything will work out;
- I have a wealth of practical experience, I know what to do in a difficult situation;
- I'm not scared, I'm stress-resistant;
- I have a lot of important, good skills, I’ll get the hang of it quickly;
- every employer will want to cooperate with me;
- my new job is perfect for me;
- my qualities are exactly created for this position;
- I am successful in my activities;
- I love what I do;
- I get the desired salary;
- I am loved and respected by my colleagues;
- I have excellent career prospects, etc.
A psychological technique that works here is self-hypnosis.
A person sets himself up for a positive outcome. He must accept his failures as a necessity for self-development, an opportunity for personal growth. After all, thoughts are a powerful source of energy.
Breathing techniques
Any breathing exercises should be done standing or lying down. Eyes must be closed. It is important to imagine a beautiful landscape or picture that evokes peace. Inhalation and exhalation must be controlled. Initially, it is important to focus on them. It is important to relax all the muscles of the body. Some breathing techniques:
- Belly breathing. Inhale 3–5 s, exhale 4–5 s. Interval – up to 3 s. You want your belly to swell in the process.
- Breathing using the collarbones. As you inhale, the collarbones rise, and as you exhale, they fall. The interval between breathing is 3–5 s.
- Wave-like breathing. 3 organ systems are involved - abdomen, collarbones, chest. Inhalation begins from the abdomen, moves to the collarbones, and then to the chest. Exhalation occurs in the reverse order.
It is enough to repeat each exercise 3-5 times. You shouldn't overexert yourself. While inhaling, you need to imagine that the body is filled with pure energy and calm. With exhalation, all negativity comes out. In addition to breathing exercises, a person performs a meditation session.
