Fear of relationships - reasons for how to overcome the fear of new relationships

Many modern people are haunted by fear of relationships. It appears when a person does not have the necessary skills to make acquaintances and form a strong attachment. Such fear can live in a person’s soul for many years, and some do not know how to overcome stiffness and the gradually emerging feeling of despair. When it is not possible to find our soulmate for a long time, we begin to doubt ourselves and believe that something is wrong with us. Let's take a closer look at this problem. It occurs quite often, but almost everyone is embarrassed to talk about it out loud.

How to understand that you are afraid

Let's determine the signs that will reveal your fear of close relationships with the opposite sex:

When a man shows interest in you, you try to distance yourself.
During a date, you don’t allow yourself to be taken by the hand or kissed goodbye.
Talk less about yourself and your personal life.
Avert your eyes when men try to look into them.

If you find yourself thinking that one of these signs is definitely “yours,” then you should do something. After all, in the absence of help, you can remain alone and lonely. In addition, you will begin to “gnaw” yourself from the inside, not allowing other people to see you, removing all the best that can be achieved in life.

Self-help for fear of close contact:

Find reliable information from professional literature on sexology and read it.
You should not rush to enter into a sexual relationship before getting closer to your partner on an emotional level.
Discuss your problems with your partner before getting intimate.
Do not remain silent about the existing discomfort in the process itself.
You can take courses.
Work through your relationship goals daily.
Engage in physical activity (a toned figure, strength and endurance are always in fashion).
Be in harmony with your desires, needs and abilities.

If something resonated with you while reading the text and it seems to you that the situation and symptoms described in the article are similar to your case, and you would like to solve this problem, you can call me first at + 7 (926) 169-36 -63 to talk about your problem that you want to solve.

The duration of the telephone consultation is 20 minutes (free of charge) , during which time I must decide whether I can help you within the framework of psychoanalytic counseling. If it’s easier for you to write a letter, you can do this by clicking on the link and sign up for a consultation. I ask you to describe your situation in as much detail as possible - the size of the letter is unlimited, I will definitely read your letter and respond.

I am always near.

Causes of fear

There are many reasons why you are afraid to start a relationship. Here are a few of them:

Lack of attitude towards creating successful relationships, did not show how to be a loved and loving woman. So when something new happens, you try to avoid it.
Fear of addiction. Moreover, not from sexual relations with a man, but from him himself.
Fear of relationships with men after bad experiences in the past. In this case, you do not want to repeat previous connections, so as not to be hurt again.
Lack of desire to be with a partner. For example, you may find yourself thinking about homosexuality without being a representative of it.
The demands placed on a man are too high. Let's say you created a certain ideal in your head. But finding it in life is not as easy as it might seem. Therefore, in order not to waste your time on imperfect relationships, you do not look for them.

As a result, a woman is afraid of a serious relationship and does not know how to behave correctly in the company of a man. To do this, it is important to overcome such fear, you can do it yourself or through receiving psychological help. Regardless of the method of eliminating the problem, it is important to recognize it as soon as possible and begin therapy. You shouldn’t waste a minute in this matter to ensure you get a lasting result.

How to overcome relationship fear

Of course, we definitely need to work on the problem. Fear of relationships needs correction. Without the necessary actions, it is impossible to overcome a phobia and begin to live a full life. How to overcome such a phobia? How to work with it correctly? Below are effective tips to help you regain your peace of mind.

Taking responsibility

Understand that no one will live your life for you! This is why there is no point in reveling in your own personal unsettlement. A serious relationship will not appear on its own. To find your soulmate, sometimes you have to meet many times, encounter unsuitable people, draw conclusions and move on. You cannot stop in your search and assume that life ends there. To start meeting men, in many cases a woman needs to overcome her mistrust.

Free yourself from the past

Unfortunately, even after many years, some people cannot free themselves from the past. It dominates them, dictates its own rules of behavior. Negative experiences greatly limit a person’s ability to gain vivid positive impressions. As a result, the emotional sphere suffers and numerous phobias develop. To be able to accept a new relationship into your life, you will have to work on yourself with the most serious intentions. As long as the connection with the past remains strong enough, nothing will be able to change significantly. True liberation comes when people begin to think differently. It no longer occurs to them to avoid possible acquaintances; on the contrary, they themselves begin to strive to be liked and make a pleasant impression on the interlocutor. Serious changes begin from the moment such a decision is made.

True Forgiveness

As a rule, all phobias are created due to an obsession with some situation in childhood or adolescence that influenced our worldview. You need to try to forgive your parents, accept the lessons that they teach you in due time. True forgiveness occurs naturally when a person feels the internal reserves in himself in order to continue living. A necessary step is to find your own strengths. Each of us has strengths, there is no doubt about that. You just need to find them, love yourself for who you really are. Only then will serious changes begin that bring joy. Having identified his strengths, a person begins to feel much more confident and self-sufficient.

Thus, fear of relationships is a problem that prevents a person from enjoying life and being happy. Sometimes he doesn’t even understand how much he pushes himself into limits. If you also have such a delicate problem, and you don’t know how to deal with it on your own, contact the Irakli Pozharisky Psychology Center for help. A specialist will help you figure out where this constraint comes from and how you can overcome this obstacle. Remember, there is nothing worse than suffering by withdrawing into yourself. There is no need to dive into the whole problem! Open yourself up to a happy and fulfilling life!

What is the danger of fear

It is important to stop being afraid of relationships as soon as possible. After all, such an innocent fear will ultimately hide the complexity of your entire life, leading to unfavorable consequences. Namely to:

The emergence of long-term depression. When a girl cannot build a serious relationship, she becomes despondent and then depressed. This affects all areas of her life, leading to the complete destruction of her personality.
The development of other neurotic diseases, which can subsequently lead to treatment in psychiatric hospitals and the use of powerful antidepressants.
Difficulties in experiencing emotions. Now you only have access to anger and fear. Others, namely positive emotions, you cannot fully feel.
You cannot trust other people, communicate with them, or ask for help. It may seem to a girl that the whole world is against her, and she must solve her problems herself.
The emergence of addiction to alcohol or other addictions.

If a girl is afraid of a new relationship, then it is important to prevent the development of pathology. The key rule is to ask for help from a specialist who will help you overcome your fear. But, you can cope with this situation on your own. True, this is very difficult to do, since it requires constant work on oneself and analysis of one’s own behavior from the outside. Sometimes it can be difficult to accurately assess yourself. In this case, outsiders come to the rescue.

The essence of a phobia

In medicine, this phenomenon is described as an overwhelming, abnormal and unreasonable fear of falling in love. Severe rejection of all expressions of love leads to real physical symptoms that interfere with a person's daily life and affect his personal connections with friends, family and loved ones.

Some people suffering from this disease are aware of their irrational state, but find it difficult to control it. And even if a person falls in love, it causes severe emotional shock. Some people are so afraid of love that they cannot open up to anyone.

They do have a serious relationship, but they are not able to fully support it. Their mental well-being often depends on the reaction of their loved one. This keeps them constantly tense and anxious.

What to do

Fear of relationships with men does not allow the development of novels and a normal life. To overcome fear, it is important to follow these tips:

Think about yourself. It is important to start with yourself, therefore, think about what exactly prevents you from coping with such fear. Maybe you've been burned in the past, so it's important to talk to your ex to sort things out. Or do you, deep down in your heart, hope that your relationship with him will be renewed? Remove the excess tinsel and get to work.
If you cannot cope with the problem on your own, then seek psychological advice. Remember that in the absence of therapy, you may face irreparable consequences for yourself. It is important not just to have one session with a psychologist, but to work through your fear. Perhaps a specialist will “dig” deeply and help you cope with related problems. But you should approach the choice of a psychologist responsibly. Study reviews, ask loved ones for recommendations. Currently, psychological assistance provided on the Internet is becoming a salvation. There is a huge selection of services online where you can get help from a psychologist online. Share a problem and find a solution. It is convenient and fast, and is absolutely not inferior to personal meetings with a psychologist.
Ask your family for advice. Be part of the family, don't distance yourself from it. Many of our problems come from childhood. Therefore, if you really suffer from a lack of understanding of how to behave with a man, then talk to your mother or grandmother. Maybe they had the same problems and solved them. In any case, the support of your close circle will never be superfluous.
Go on a trip. You will need to completely switch your head, disconnect from your worries and try to enjoy life “here and now.” Traveling is perfect for this. Moreover, it doesn’t matter whether you go abroad or to a neighboring city. The main thing is to find solitude and new inspiration.
Engage in self-development. You can join a gym, wrestle, draw, or take music lessons. You can also go to university and get a new education. Perhaps by changing your location, as well as switching your focus to something more important, you will be able to get rid of your own experiences that relate to the fear of a serious relationship.

As a result, in order to prevent the worsening of psychological problems, to get rid of experiences associated with the absence of a man and relationships in life, it is important to understand your problem as soon as possible and begin to solve it. Regardless of which solution method you choose, it is best to act in their entirety. This way you can achieve the best result. But don't rush. After all, it is not the consequence that should be eliminated, but the cause of fear. Otherwise, after some period of time you may again encounter such a harmful condition.

Signs of fear of close relationships:

Strong emotions are vital for a person. Such a person has many friends. He makes contact easily. He quickly adapts to the new team. He knows how to find a common language with people. He can lead a promiscuous sex life and often change partners.

Panic fear of becoming attached to someone, becoming dependent;
Fear of serious relationships;
Inability to have deep feelings;
Sex and new acquaintances are emotional doping, without which it is impossible to live;
The importance of experiencing passions;
Maintaining a certain distance with your partner;
Disgust towards an intimate partner;
Frequent change of partner;
Constant search for sexual adventures;
They often remain single;
Does not take responsibility for partner and child.

Fear of getting a sexually transmitted disease - venerophobia: symptoms, causes

Causes:

Personal experience of contact with a person infected with sexually transmitted diseases
Understanding that sex can be unsafe
Erroneous information taken from unreliable sources
Misconceptions learned from friends

How it manifests itself:

Any discomfort in the intimate area causes fear and panic in a winephobe. Even harmless inflammation seems to him the beginning of a venereal disease.
A person who has once suffered a sexually transmitted disease becomes distrustful. It always seems to him that the recovery is not yet complete.

Fear of getting a sexually transmitted disease - venerophobia

Vinerophobe is afraid of any sexual contact and avoids it.
In serious cases, thoughts about sex cause panic. It is manifested by rapid breathing, increased pulse, and severe weakness. The same thing is repeated when the possibility of sex arises.

Ways to solve the problem:

First of all, sincerely wish to get well. Find the positives in sex and the benefits it finds.

First of all, sincerely wish you to get well

Choose a gentle, patient doctor. He should calmly and patiently answer all your questions about your health.
Take all the necessary tests and make sure that you do not have sexually transmitted diseases.

Basic women's fears2

It’s interesting that women’s fears may seem somewhat illogical; for example, there may be a fear of loneliness and at the same time a fear of a serious relationship. The woman begins the game of inaccessibility, and convinces those around her and herself that she “doesn’t need all this,” but in fact, she is afraid to admit even to herself that she doesn’t want to be alone, but she also won’t trust a random partner.

Old age is also a strong and common fear of women, especially those who are getting married. However, the fear of old age in itself is not significant; most often it is just a projection of the fear of relationships - after all, when a lady gets old, she begins to look worse and loses her attractiveness. In addition, women whose husbands are prone to cheating are especially afraid of getting old, because there remains the possibility that the man will find a younger lady.

Young girls entering into relationships are very afraid of an unexpected and unplanned pregnancy, as well as the fact that a man who has not even become a husband yet will leave her alone with a child. Thinking about this can cause a lot of stress for a girl, especially if she has built a career and made herself a beautiful figure in the gym.

Women in relationships are sometimes also afraid of pregnancy, but this is possible if they are not confident in their husband, for example, during meetings he already made it clear that he could leave at any moment, or if the guy openly stated that he does not want to have children in the foreseeable future.

Another common fear of almost all women is poverty, and it is especially acute when there is a question about having a child. Material wealth is not just money, it is comfort, coziness, the availability of food and necessary medicines.

Not a single representative of the fair sex wants to end up on the street, so having a roof over your head, which is only available if you have money, is also necessary. Despite the fact that ladies are accused of commercialism, in most cases they are looking for a man with money not in order to buy expensive clothes and jewelry, but in order to be confident in the future, especially if pregnancy occurs.

Fear of men - androphobia: symptoms, causes

Causes:

Unpleasant experiences from the past. They are associated with failed relationships.
Family. If the relationship between the parents was bad and the mother constantly condemned the father in front of her daughter.
The phobia arises from watching films where men show cruelty and anger in relationships.
Confidence in your unattractiveness.

Fear of men - androphobia
How to express it:

A woman constantly feels falsehood in the courtship of men. It seems to her that behind all their attempts to establish communication there is a hidden desire to take possession of her and abandon her.
She feels anxious in places where there are a lot of men.
For her, the word man is associated with selfishness and arrogance.
A woman susceptible to this phobia is too critical of men. Finds many shortcomings in them.
She often considers herself a feminist. Constantly seeks out facts of violation of women's rights by men.

A woman feels anxious in places where there are a lot of men.
Ways to solve the problem:

Acknowledge your fear. And don’t try to hide it behind the fact that men are “bad.”
After the first point, consult a psychologist. With the help of hypnosis or conversations, he will help you look at men as ordinary people.

Let go of old grudges against men:

You can write letters in which you express all your worries because of them. Of course, such letters should not be sent to this address.
Encourage and support yourself. Every day, consciously do not allow yourself to criticize your actions.
Practice communicating with men.

Let go of old grudges against men

Symptoms of a phobia

There are many different symptoms of this disorder. Typically they vary from person to person. They are divided into two categories: psychological and physical.

As for psychological symptoms, some people are afraid of any attachment and run away from it. At the same time, convincing myself: I am afraid of relationships and any manifestation of romance.

Others may enter into an alliance, but they end up becoming possessive or jealous.

Psychological symptoms also include:

feeling powerless and confused in your emotions and personal life;
severe anxiety and nervousness;
maximum suppression of internal experiences;
completely avoiding places where couples meet, such as parks and movie theaters;
avoidance of marriage and other wedding ceremonies;
isolation from the outside world.

Physical signs of the disorder include trembling, rapid heartbeat, fainting, chest pain, sweating, numbness, breathing problems, and nausea.

Panic and anxiety attacks are also common. The patient suffers from frequent dizziness, a desire to run away from everyone and cry for no reason.