Do you feel like someone is watching you? They watch, watch, whisper behind your back. What to do? Why is this happening? The problem can be solved, but it is not recommended to delay it. This is due to a temporary disruption of the metabolic processes of the brain. The danger is that these disorders often become chronic and the recovery period can be significantly delayed.
We will be able to quickly restore the processes of nervous activity and return the quality of life to normal. Call! Come to the reception! We use gentle methods of psychotherapy and restorative medicine.
How to distinguish stalking from harmless advances?
Obsession is often perceived by the person being stalked and those around him as something pleasant and even enviable, but we must not forget that a stalker can be dangerous.
There are several warning signs that you need to pay attention to: - If you recently met a person, and he began to meet you suspiciously often. For example, you always go to the same store after work, and allegedly accidentally cross paths there, and when you start going to another, the stalker appears there too.
— A person calls you, although you did not give your phone number, and it is not in the public domain.
— A person may unexpectedly meet you after work, leave a gift at your door, or come to visit without an invitation.
First, you need to ask the person to stop and set their boundaries. If he doesn't respond to requests, this is a bad sign.
Feeling like someone is watching me
Such sensations rarely come alone. In parallel with this, other signs usually appear that indicate metabolic disorders.
A person who feels like they are being watched or constantly talked about will rarely admit or share these feelings with anyone, even people close to them. Often this happens due to a misunderstanding of his feelings and sensations. It is not uncommon that a person can express his doubts to a loved one, but instead of understanding the problem and providing him with all possible help, he encounters ridicule or lack of understanding. In response to such a reaction, he becomes anxious, often withdraws into his thoughts, becomes uncommunicative, and his mood significantly decreases. A person begins to hide his feelings of being watched or talked about, and even when visiting a psychiatrist or psychotherapist, he rarely reveals his secret thoughts.
Frequent manifestations of the feeling that someone is watching you
- Increased suspicion, mistrust, increased sensitivity to the attitude of others.
- The feeling that most people cannot be trusted.
- The feeling that others are watching you or talking about you.
You realized that you were being watched. What's next?
The stalker must be clearly explained that he will not get what he wants. “You need to make it clear to the person that you don’t like him, that he’s bothering you, and you don’t intend to tolerate it. If you threaten to call the police, then call them, instructs psychologist Anna Mstislavskaya, show that you are serious and will not allow your boundaries to be violated. The pursuer must understand that you are not joking. If you said something and didn't do it, he will understand that he can do whatever he wants. And the frequency of persecution and violence may increase.”
You cannot give in, try to prove something to the pursuer or help him, even if you are afraid or feel sorry for him. This is what he achieves: to get what he wants through manipulation. In addition, the stalker may have a mental disorder, so you need to be careful.
“The relationship between the persecutor and the persecuted is always unequal. This is an attempt to establish power and return a person to a situation familiar to the stalker,” explains psychologist Tatyana Orlova. “If a person receives a signal that a meeting is possible, then he believes that the tactic is working and will most likely increase the pressure.”
If the stalker is your ex-partner, then at one of these meetings the relationship may be restored, which means that the violence will be repeated. Unfortunately, it will not be possible to come to an agreement with the aggressor. If you were not partners, then his aggressive behavior indicates that there will definitely be violence in a potential relationship.
Your loved ones should know about the situation. Tell as many people you know about the persecution as possible. The main thing is not to listen to those who devalue your fear, recommend that you take the situation easier, or suggest that you simply send the stalker to hell. The latter can only warm up his interest or anger him even more.
Try not to walk alone: ask friends to accompany you, walk home from work with colleagues. If there is no one to accompany you, change your usual route or take a taxi.
Install an alarm button (this can be done in the Violence.net application (the organization is recognized by the Ministry of Justice as a foreign agent in the Russian Federation) on Google Play or the App Store) and agree with your loved ones that in case of danger they will receive SOS messages.
Use a whistle so that you can attract attention with a loud sound at any time.
Block the stalker and his loved ones on all social networks, close your pages from strangers, turn off geolocation on your phone, don’t check in at events and don’t post photos that can show where you are. If you're being stalked by your ex, check to see if there are any shared accounts that can be used to track your location, and if your accounts are open on other people's devices. If you have a joint bank account, open a personal one and transfer your money to it.
If you get endless calls and SMS messages, and blocking doesn’t help, change your phone number. It is advisable to register it in the name of someone else, because the database of numbers can easily be bought on the black market, and you can be found again. By the way, calls recorded on a voice recorder and screenshots of messages will help prove that you are being stalked, if necessary.
For emergencies, self-defense means that do not require a permit are useful: a gas canister and a stun gun. The advantage of the can is that it can be used from a distance, but you need to remember that the gas may not work in the cold, and in strong winds it can harm you. A stun gun is good for close distances, but may not work through a thick layer of clothing, or if the attacker is drunk.
Buy self-defense equipment only if you are confident that you can use it. If you use them and they don't work, it can make your attacker even more angry. In addition, he can take away the devices and use them against you.
Some ask friends or partners to “deal with” the stalker, but this still needs to be left to law enforcement, otherwise the situation may only get worse.
If a stalker publishes or sends intimate photos of you on the Internet, you can go to court, demanding that they be removed from public sources. If the pursuer disseminates information discrediting your honor and reputation, or slander, this is already a criminal punishment. In this case, you need to contact the police.
What to do if you notice surveillance
- Don't go home. Otherwise, you will reveal information about where you live. Perhaps your pursuers don't know about this yet. You can return home only after you are convinced that the tail is no longer there.
- Stay in crowded and well-lit areas. If you are driving a car, do not turn onto deserted roads. If you are walking, avoid side streets where there is no one. If you notice surveillance in a store, try to walk to your car in the parking lot with other customers.
- Maneuver if you are driving. This is best done on busy roads with many exits and convenient shoulders for stopping. Change lanes, change speed, stand on the side of the road - your task is to make the pursuer drive further along the road. In the meantime, you can dive into the first suitable turn.
- Gather as much information as possible. Write down the make and number of the pursuer's car, study what he looks like, what he's wearing, and what special features he has.
- Use public transport. Try to get on a subway car or bus at the last minute.
- Surprise your pursuer. One tactic that professionals advise is to approach the stalker yourself and ask: “Can I help you with something?” or “Do you need something from me?” Often such aggressive behavior forces you to retreat. But it is better to do this in crowded places.
- Call the police. If you feel a threat to your health or life, report it to law enforcement authorities by phone. Or go to the nearest police station yourself, contact the traffic police patrol. Pass on all the information you have collected and ask for help.
- Don't tag your location on social media. This is a great help for your pursuers.
What can the police do?
In Russia there is no law protecting against stalking, despite the fact that stalkers cause serious harm to the targets of stalking. Nevertheless, you still need to contact the police - even if the stalker manifests himself only on the Internet and does not threaten to do anything bad.
Most likely, you will encounter ridicule and reluctance from law enforcement officers to take the situation seriously at the police station, but don’t let that stop you.
Lawyer Maria Zamolotskikh explains: “In any case, applications must be accepted. If they refuse, you need to find out the employee’s name and position. The refusal can be recorded on video or a voice recorder. After this, you need to draw up a complaint or act, in which you need to indicate the exact date and time of filing the application, the name and position of the police officer, or the badge number. The act must be signed by two witnesses. If these are not your acquaintances, but people who happen to be nearby, write down their contact details for communication. A police officer faces disciplinary liability for refusing to accept a statement. When the application was accepted, but the initiation of a criminal case was refused, it is necessary to appeal it to the prosecutor's office. You can also file a complaint with the head of the police department.”
In an emergency, the police can be called to the scene by calling 112. If passers-by witness a pursuit or other conflict, try to write down their contact information so that you can use their statements.
How does therapy work when you feel like someone is watching?
Comment from the attending psychotherapist: The patient’s story was so confusing that it had to be adapted a little. The patient's main complaint was the unbearable feeling that someone was watching him, whispering about him behind his back. Alarming symptoms appeared later, as a consequence of his constant alertness and tension. The patient was so frightened and demoralized, talking about a general conspiracy against him, that he had to begin treatment in a hospital.
The treatment took place under the guidance of a psychotherapist for a month. The patient stopped complaining about the feeling that he was constantly being watched, watched and whispered about him behind his back. He began to take walks outside, while feelings of weakness, dizziness and anxiety still remained. The psychotherapist insisted on continuing intensive therapy. But, at the insistence of his parents, he was transferred to outpatient treatment (at home, without the supervision of a doctor). A week later, in the absence of intensive care, the disease returned. It turned out that at home he arbitrarily stopped taking medications and deceived his parents. The patient had to be urgently hospitalized with a suicide attempt and acute manifestations of thoughts that aliens were watching him. After a year and a half of treatment, 1 month in a hospital, 1 month in a day hospital and more than a year of outpatient observation, the efforts of the psychotherapist brought results. The man was able to graduate from the University and get a job. His girlfriend stayed with him and helped the psychotherapist very well in restoring his mental state.
How to apply?
The application can be submitted by the victim or his legal representative. You can contact orally or in writing any territorial body of the Ministry of Internal Affairs (for example, a police department or a local police station), as well as by calling 112 and the helpline. In addition, you can submit an application electronically on the official website of the Ministry of Internal Affairs.
The fact of the appeal must be recorded in writing, for example, in the protocol of acceptance of an oral statement, a report, an entry in the book of statements and reports of crimes, administrative offenses and incidents (KUSP) or in the log of messages received by the helpline.
You can make a written statement in any form. You must indicate the date, the name of the territorial department of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, or the official to whom the application is addressed, as well as your first name, last name, patronymic, address, telephone number and signature. The application can be submitted to any police department, regardless of the place and time of the crime, administrative offense or incident that you are reporting.
The operational duty officer who accepted the application must issue a coupon consisting of two parts: a coupon-stub and a coupon-notification. The notification coupon must contain the title, full name. and the signature of the duty officer, registration number of the application according to the KUSP, name, address and telephone number of the territorial department of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, date and time of receipt of the application. The applicant must sign for receipt of the notification coupon on the coupon stub, and indicate the date and time of receipt of the notification coupon. The coupon stubs remain in the duty station.
A notification coupon is not issued when an application is sent by mail, fax, at a personal meeting with an official or through the official website. Nevertheless, all applications must be registered with the KUSP and assigned their own number.
