“I’m afraid of people,” or what social phobia is and how to deal with it

What is social phobia and how does it differ from sociopathy? Why is social phobia dangerous and why is it called the disease of lost opportunities? A brief historical excursion into the history of this phenomenon and the fight against it. Prevalence, causes of social phobia, its signs, mental and physiological symptoms. We asked all these questions that concern many people to the Chief Medical Psychiatrist, Psychiatrist-Narcologist and Psychotherapist Vladislav Sipovich.

Afterword

Social phobia is a kind of worm that causes decay in life.
Maybe not the most pleasant metaphor, but the most accurate. This phenomenon needs to be fought. You cannot allow yourself to close yourself off and constantly destroy your own potential or suppress desires. Social phobia inhibits personal development. Someone loses their position or languishes for years at a satisfactory job; someone spends their old age alone because they were never able to meet anyone; someone did not become a great actor because as a child he was ridiculed by his own mother at a matinee.

Thus, social phobia arises from personal insecurity, anxiety, feelings of insecurity, and personal experience of contact with bad people. But not all people are bad.

Man is a socio-biological being. There is no point in “rewinding” the deadline given to us. Life should have meaning and pleasure

It is important to understand that you cannot do without unpleasant moments. All people are different

That's the beauty of it. There will be misunderstandings, there will be disagreements, there will be different attitudes towards you. This is the beauty of social contacts. They permeate our whole life. To be afraid of society means to be afraid of yourself and life, to run away from yourself. But you still can’t run away from yourself. Perhaps in a figurative sense, by adjusting character traits that you don’t like, saying goodbye to old grievances, fears, and so on.

So, to get rid of social phobia, you need:

clearly identify problem situations and their causes;
work through your own thoughts;
design frightening situations (“wedge by wedge”);
constantly conduct reflection (analysis of your actions) based on the results of classes;
express your feelings and emotions;
record events and their consequences.

In conclusion, I would like to recommend you several books on the topic of social phobia for yourself to study the issue in more depth and adjust your life.

John Biik “Training to overcome social phobia. Self-Help Guide." The book says that you need to find an assistant. However, if you do not have a person whom you are willing to trust, then you can do without an assistant.
Philip Zimbardo "Shyness"
Robert Anthony "The Main Secrets of Absolute Self-Confidence."

Thank you, dear reader, for your attention and time. Good luck finding your “worms” and eradicating them! Live clean and colorful

How to determine that a person is socially phobic, what symptoms of social phobia can you name?

According to the International Classification of Diseases, 10th edition (ICD-10), the main criterion for social phobia is an irrational (illogical) obsessive fear of being the center of attention or performing certain actions in public. At the same time, the patient tries to avoid any situations that cause fear and anxiety, is wary of even entering into professional contact, and thereby deprives himself of the opportunity for career advancement, creative development and making the right fateful decisions. This is why social phobia is often called the disease of lost opportunities.

The symptoms of social phobia can be divided into changes affecting such areas of life as: ● Cognitive functions. ● Behavioral reactions. ● Physiological manifestations. Cognitive impairments in social phobia, the signs and main manifestations of which are associated primarily with thinking, memory and concentration, come down to the following symptoms: ● Reduced ability to concentrate due to constant focus on one’s fear, oneself and one’s behavior. ● Inability to control your emotions and thoughts, a feeling of emptiness in your head due to the lack of constructive thoughts. ● Increased demands on oneself, hyperbolic self-criticism. ● Constant mental replay of situations that are “dangerous” for self-esteem and one’s own behavior at the same time, fantasies about the complete fiasco of one’s intentions. ● Panic fear of criticism and condemnation from the immediate environment, employees, superiors, business partners. ● The desire to always and everywhere appear to be a cultured and exemplary person, to adapt to the opinion of the majority, and to hide one’s personal attitude towards the situation and people. In fact, a social phobe is a person in a case who is most afraid of being thought badly of. ● Constant mental “playing out” of situations, thinking through plans and moves in response to the reaction of the environment. ● Strong feelings after an “alarming” situation, fears about one’s behavior, fear that it looked ridiculous or funny. The emotions experienced during this self-analysis constantly “harass” the social phobic, sometimes even preventing him from falling asleep.

Due to a pathological phobia, a person often behaves awkwardly, inappropriately, says absurd things or is off topic, and comes up with obviously fantastic stories. At the same time, all the external signs of fear are present - arms crossed on the chest, lowered eyes, redness of the face, trembling and unclear speech.

Behavioral symptoms of social phobia: ● A state similar to stupor when being in society. ● Awkwardness, an irresistible desire to hide or run away from communication. ● Inability to look into the eyes of the interlocutor, downcast gaze. ● Irritability and unreasonable tearfulness. ● Frequent mood changes. ● Avoidance of contacts with people, extreme wariness when meeting a new person. Physiological symptoms of social phobia: ● Tremor of the limbs, including the so-called tremors in the knees. ● Chills. ● Motor incoordination, for example, in the form of a gait disorder if a person thinks that he is walking incorrectly or walks past a group of people. ● Hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating). ● Tachycardia (rapid heartbeat). ● Nausea. ● Difficulty and increased breathing, feeling of lack of air. ● Pauresis (inability to urinate and even mention it in front of strangers).

In practice, this means that a person avoids public toilets and is even afraid to ask the driver to stop the bus to empty his bladder. For such people, it is preferable for him to burst than for their reputation. With extreme fear and anxiety, a panic attack may develop, leading to sudden surges in blood pressure, chest pain, numbness of the limbs, and even loss of consciousness. Such a vegetative crisis can last from several minutes to half an hour, and if it occurs constantly, it can result in neurosis and/or depression. In conclusion, I want to say that ordinary shyness and dislike of public appearances are not yet a sign of social phobia; they can simply be character traits formed during upbringing in the family and school. But when the fear of communicating with people and anxiety take on an obsessive form, occupy almost all of a person’s thoughts, interfere with his social adaptation and the implementation of life plans, then we can say that he has social phobia. And what is paradoxical is that inside a social phobe there is often a sociophile who would like social recognition, numerous friends and entertainment. But the sociophobe’s fear of being humiliated and insulted, misunderstood and unrecognized in society prevents him from realizing his desires to be society’s favorite. This is the deep internal conflict between thirst and fear of being seen, which can ultimately lead to serious mental disorder. Is it possible to cope with social phobia on your own or do you need professional help to overcome it? The answers to these questions will be the topic of the next conversation.

Possible reasons and prerequisites

As I already mentioned, the development of social phobia is influenced by external and internal factors. Yes, even your own insecurity or anxiety is the result of outside influence (in childhood or adulthood). The following prerequisites for the emergence of social phobia can be identified.

Depression (70.9% of cases) or other disorders.
Drug addiction, alcoholism (76.7%). Public condemnation can be received more often than support and help, which forces the alcoholic to withdraw into himself, increasingly avoiding society.
Experienced situations of failure. Having once "shitted" in public, a person will probably avoid performing again.
Properties of the psyche. Accented individuals, that is, with a pronounced character trait, are more prone to phobias. For example, the schizoid and asthenic type are the most vulnerable. The same dependence is observed among temperament types. Choleric and melancholic people are more prone to phobias.
Someone else's experience. Often, sophiophobia begins to form in childhood and is caused by the behavior (example) of parents or parenting style. For example, intimidation, prohibitions, or one’s own experience of failure in front of a child.
Low self-esteem and uncertainty that arose against the background of social deprivation (deprivation) in childhood. This group includes a tyrannical type of parental education, an authoritarian teacher, and “bullying” in the classroom.
Low self-esteem. Often comes from a destructive type of parental upbringing or school childhood.

What social phobias exist?

Social fear can manifest itself too acutely, leading a person to panic attacks. If social anxiety is moderate, the patient is still able to assess the situation realistically in order to take control of his feelings, despite the presence of strong anxiety. A person diagnosed with social phobia suffers from a constant, severe anxiety state. They were divided into two groups: delineated social phobia - fear can manifest itself in standard situations (the need to interact with cashiers in a store, speaking in front of a large audience, a job interview, the need to communicate with neighbors), generalized - a feeling of fear appears in a wide variety of situations. situations during which you have to interact with society.

Regardless of the types of social phobia that have been listed, it is important to mention that the signs of the disorder will be the same in any case. It is necessary to mention that these symptoms are temporary or permanent.

The following example can be given. One day, a child was ridiculed while speaking to his classmates. Since then, he has no desire to prepare reports or retell the material he has read.

One can also note a completely different type of development of a phobia, during which the child will categorically refuse to attend an educational institution or try to walk in the park. Nobody understands what is causing this fear in society. It is quite possible that this fear will not go away in adolescence or adulthood. Here we can talk about social phobia, since there are no objective reasons. People simply do not understand what is happening, but they experience a real fear of society and are unable to cope with this problem on their own. It is worth mentioning that relatives of a person with social phobia can provide a certain “disservice”. They believe that the whole point is shyness, and, therefore, it is necessary to communicate more with other people and boldly go out into society. Unfortunately, these measures are in no way capable of helping a person with this diagnosis.

What other mental disorders is social phobia combined with?

It is known that about 65% of social phobias have mental problems, most often they coexist with depressive disorder and various addictions. For example, chronic alcoholism, when trying to overcome their fear of communication and public speaking, patients resort to “emancipation” with the help of alcoholic beverages. In addition, almost 50% of social phobics suffer from benzodiazepine addiction. In addition, some individuals with social phobia engage in various ritualistic behaviors (mental or behavioral) to prevent or reduce negative consequences before upcoming social interactions. Such intrusive thoughts and actions lead to obsessive-compulsive neurosis.

Quite often, social phobia is accompanied by attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. A high degree of comorbidity of social phobia (combination with other pathological conditions) is observed in patients with panic attacks (33%), suicide attempts (23%), and post-traumatic stress disorder (36%). In addition, it was noted that social phobia preceded chronic alcoholism in 75% of patients, panic attacks in 61% and in 90% of patients with depression. There is evidence that social phobia may be associated with bipolar disorder and autism.

Signs

What does social phobia mean? This means that the person avoids social interaction at all costs. He refuses to make new acquaintances, work in a team, build a personal life, and establish business connections. A person withdraws into himself; in particularly advanced cases, he isolates himself within the walls of his home. The same question repeats in his head: “What will people say?” A social phobe is afraid of negative evaluation of his actions and the negative consequences of social interaction.

Characteristics of a social phobe:

irritability,
shyness,
suspiciousness,
touchiness,
awkwardness in movements,
fussiness,
gloominess.

If a social phobe hears that someone is laughing next to him, then he is sure that they are laughing at him. If someone is discussing something, then the social phobe is sure that they are discussing him, and exclusively in a negative way. If a social phobe catches someone’s gaze on him, the thought immediately appears in his head: “What’s wrong with me?”

The signs and symptoms of social phobia are virtually the same in adolescents and adults. The only difference is in the situations where it is noticeable. For example, teenage children experience difficulties at school and refuse to attend an educational institution (truant or complain of poor health). Otherwise, the manifestations in children and adults are similar: quiet and timid speech, redness of the face, fear of saying the wrong thing. The signs of social phobia do not differ between women and men.

Interesting! There are three behavioral patterns of a social phobe: stupor during social interaction, the desire to run away or hide, aggression and deliberate disregard for any social interaction.

What causes fear of people, causes of anthropophobia

The fear of people is called anthropophobia. From the Greek anthropos - man and phobos - fear. A person who is afraid of other people constantly feels danger. It seems to him that those around him want to harm, attack or infect him with a fatal disease.

The reason for this attitude towards people must be sought in childhood. The child was probably raised in harsh authoritarian conditions. Punishment, violence, coldness of parents, conflicts between parents - all this could cause distrust in the world.

Even as a child, the child realized that he was safe only when alone with himself. You can only trust yourself. Only he understands and supports himself. This attitude was preserved and carried into adulthood.

What else acts as a negative factor in the development of a phobia:

low self-esteem of the child;
excessive criticism from others;
conflicts in relationships with peers;
diffidence;
rejection by parents and classmates;
antisocial lifestyle of parents, addictions;
contradiction in the educational positions of mother and father;
excessive demands on the child.

Feeling ashamed of one's appearance can also cause human phobia. A person is afraid of ridicule, physical and emotional blows from others, and condemnation. And if a person is sure from childhood that he is doing everything wrong (parental attitude), then in adulthood he is afraid of getting into an awkward situation, of letting someone down and angering someone, of being punished. He is afraid of embarrassing himself in front of other people.

Betrayal, unrequited love, painful relationships can also cause anthropophobia. In this case, the person is afraid to experience the same pain, suffering, and emotional torment again. In order not to accidentally get close to someone and not be betrayed, the anthropophobe avoids social contacts.

This is interesting! Fear of people occurs with equal frequency in men and women. Most often, fear of people develops during adolescence.

Causes of social phobia

Most psychotherapists agree that the basis of social phobia is self-doubt. And it develops, most often, in adolescence (10-13 years) - at the moment of the beginning of active interaction with society.

The causes of self-doubt, and, as a consequence, social phobia in childhood can be:

incorrect, evaluative upbringing of a child, comparing him with other children is not in his favor;
too strict requirements for the child;
criticism from a significant adult;
criticism during the period of personality formation;
ridicule, bullying at school;

lack of social approval, etc.

Social phobia can also develop at a later age. This can be facilitated by:

incorrect social environment that does not provide moral support;
prolonged exposure to a stressful situation;
a single stressful situation of strong intensity (terrorist attack, disaster);

Women are more susceptible to social phobia (2 times more often than men). Also, the phobia is more common among well-educated people who are married.

Certain personality traits and genetic factors can contribute to the emergence of social phobia.

How to cope on your own

Psychology has techniques to combat self-harm:

“Turn off the internal switch.” The goal is to visualize your fears as much as possible. The highlight here is the ability to imagine them in the form of a switch. Introduce and turn off.
Play the scene. Stand near the mirror and imagine yourself as an actor learning the main role. It is necessary to convince imaginary spectators that the actor is a brave person and never harms himself. This is ridiculous and funny. You are not one of those people.
Exhale and then inhale. As you inhale, imagine how inner confidence and courage appear in your body. Let go of any remaining doubts with an exhalation.
It is important to understand that in any case, harming loved ones and yourself is fear without a basis. It is unreal and will not bring any real fulfillment.

The true cause of such a phobia is known to a psychologist, to whom the patient should contact. Having come to such a decision, it may be possible to see a problem that happened in the past, change your attitude towards the case and no longer have to resort to similar techniques, being closed in a mental cage.

How to stop being afraid of people on the street?

To reduce fear, stop being afraid of being among passers-by, attending concerts, or riding the tram:

learn to control your breathing. Shortness of breath and hyperventilation outdoors appear first. You begin to breathe too quickly, suffocating due to the proximity of the object of fear. Breathing exercises will help reduce fear. Deep breaths and exhalations are especially helpful. Start and end your day with them (take just a couple of minutes). This helps with social phobia, the fear subsides;
visualize the positive outcome of contacts with society. Close your eyes, mentally imagine: things went well, you calmly walked down the street, went shopping successfully, exchanged a few words with the cashier. Panic attacks are over, social phobia is gone. You have almost mastered the techniques on how to stop being afraid of people;
Try to talk to strangers when the opportunity arises. Add a few words if the latest political news begins to be heatedly discussed on the tram. But only a few words, otherwise you will quickly feel insecure.

No attacks, stop trying to quickly “put social anxiety to rest.” This will only increase the fear. Take things gradually. Go out into the world for a short time, gradually increase the time you spend among other “homo sapiens”.

Main categories of fear of living

Fear of living can only arise under certain conditions.

There are three main categories:

circumstances that cannot depend on a person;
circumstances that a person causes independently;
By knowing oneself, a person delves deeply into the structure of his psyche.

Independent circumstances usually include serious illnesses and the death of relatives and friends. If such events occur in a person’s life, then he admits the idea that something similar could happen to him.

A person can also independently provoke the fear of death. This category primarily includes people who are accustomed to risking their own lives. Examples include bikers, racers, and hookers. They believe that they perform such dangerous activities to obtain adrenaline. In practice, it turns out that they are deceiving themselves, thus testing themselves. Such people are trying to understand what fear of life is, how it borders on death. Some do this out of curiosity, and some allow such situations on a subconscious level.

There are times when a person tries to know himself. He thinks a lot, reads relevant literature, tries to understand who he is and what he is doing here. Along with such thoughts comes fear of life and fear of life.

Stages of crisis in experiencing the fear of death

It is customary to distinguish four main stages of fear of death. They are mainly divided by age categories:

from 4 to 6 years;
from 10 to 12 years;
from 17 to 24 years old;
from 35 to 55 years.

Let us examine in more detail the distinctive features of those who are afraid. During the period of life from 4 to 6 years, a child first develops a fear of death. If loved ones pass away, this is the first stress in life. It remains deep in the child’s memory and influences subsequent thoughts, decisions, and actions.

Between the ages of 10 and 12, a teenager may experience a deep sense of loss and emptiness. It is not so much a real event that can cause trauma, but rather actions in a film on a TV screen.

At the age of 16-24, young people develop a strong sense of independence, the ability to bear responsibility for themselves and the people around them. This is where the most striking signs of fear of living begin.

From 35 to 55 years old, a person begins to look for meaning in life. An understanding of the fear of death comes to him more and more clearly. The individual realizes that everything has a cycle, man is mortal. This is even more worrying. The soul-searching begins. Some are rethinking their values, some are placing new emphasis in life. There are those who, at a relatively young age, begin to write wills, enter a monastery, and become more actively involved in spiritual practices. There is a category of people who commit suicide because they cease to see any meaning in it. The latter do this because of lost reference points, lack of a value scale, and lack of support from other people.

As soon as fears are overcome, a person begins to develop even more. The main thing is to realize what is happening, stop your thoughts, and try to sensibly evaluate their content.

When people think about how to stop being afraid of life and death, they do not always want to give an objective assessment of reality. This is associated with repression and suppression of thoughts, a feeling of exclusivity and the construction of defenses. Destructive work is going on at the subconscious level. It may later manifest itself as unpleasant symptoms.

How to stop being afraid of society - tips, recommendations

Overcoming social phobia and forgetting your fears is not an easy task, but it can be solved. In addition to the help of a specialist, “self-help” is useful:

In order to defeat the enemy, the enemy must be studied. Keep a diary. Write down your own experiences, analyze factors and events that provoke social phobia; Use a piece of paper to describe your fears, then try to mentally mock the objects of your fear. Imagine: “scary” individuals are stupid monkeys. Play with monkey fears, feel superior. When you are afraid of your boss, imagine: the boss is sitting in a loincloth, shaking his fat belly, making inarticulate sounds, beating his chest like King Kong. Laugh at your fears, gradually reduce their strength; When you speak, think about the topic, the purpose of the conversation. Get out of your head thoughts about how you look in the eyes of your interlocutor; look for individuals whose social phobia is worse than yours. Schizophrenics (in remission) are suitable. Paranoia and social phobia are close relatives, so it is not difficult to find a common language with a person with schizophrenia; Use your energy wisely. The more effort you put into things that bring you joy and allow you to feel in control of your own life, the less social phobia will become; always remember: strangers don’t care about you. Everyone is busy with themselves, their loved ones, there is little time left for others; thank yourself more, praise yourself for your successes. This will instill confidence and lift low self-esteem. Let go of the desire to do things perfectly. Perfectionism is the enemy of a social phobia, the cause of a lack of faith in one’s own strengths and an inferiority complex. Remember this. Then the question “How to stop being afraid of people” will be resolved; stop soul-searching

The ability to understand your own feelings is important. But only without masochism

Masochism is the enemy of the social phobe; throw away alcohol, cigarettes, and other “soft” drugs (including coffee). Fewer dependencies, less worries. Anxieties will disappear, and social phobia will also “wither.” By the way, “I’m only calm when I’m drunk” is already bad. You will begin to think that it is impossible to overcome social phobia without chemical, nicotine, and alcohol “crutches”; you will become more dependent on booze and cigarettes; love a relaxing massage. Social phobes often have a stiff back. Those suffering from the pathology are slouched, “hiding” their necks inside their shoulders. Massage for social phobes is extremely useful.

Remember sports. Physical activity is a great way to banish emotional stress, reduce anxiety, and improve sleep. Insomnia is a serious problem for social phobics.

Social phobia is a thief who steals the joy of communicating with others and makes you unsuccessful in life. It is possible to defeat pathology. Simple “life hacks” and a qualified specialist will get rid of an unpleasant problem.

Clinical manifestations

Before you think about how to overcome social anxiety on your own, you need to make sure that you are dealing with it.

Psychological and cognitive signs of social phobia:

strong fear and anxiety that do not go away after you are left alone with yourself;
obsessive thoughts that you said/did something wrong, exhausting self-analysis;
awareness of the irrationality of fear, anxiety and excitement (you understand that there is no reason for such strong fear, but you are still worried);
fear of saying something wrong;
fear of looking ridiculous or stupid;
anxiety that increases when a person leaves home, during communication;
the feeling that others are whispering about you (judging you, thinking badly);
fear of being the center of attention;
attempts to hide my excitement (“If someone understands that I am afraid, they will definitely take me for an idiot, they will definitely stop communicating with me”);
inflated demands and expectations for oneself;
excessive self-criticism;
negative thinking, coming up with pessimistic scenarios;
somatic deterioration during social interaction.

Somatic signs of social phobia (occur when a social phobia is among people):

cardiopalmus;
feeling of heaviness and pain in the chest;
feeling of lack of air;
numbness of the extremities, icing or tingling;
abdominal discomfort;
dry mouth;
frequent urge to go to the toilet;
sweating;
muscle tension;
dizziness;
confusion;
redness of the skin.

To make a diagnosis, it is important to have the third group of symptoms – the avoidance reaction. Examples of avoidant behavior:

refusal to answer calls, especially from unfamiliar numbers;
refusal to meet with friends;
dismissal from work or refusal to look for work;
avoiding people to the detriment of oneself (for example, refusing to go to shops, cafes, etc.);
attempts to relieve anxiety with alcohol and frequent smoking breaks;
inability to look your interlocutor in the eyes;
attempts to hide anxiety with makeup, clothes, accessories, etc.

Social phobia is associated with fear of criticism and condemnation, dependence on other people's opinions, and low self-esteem. Some people are afraid only of specific situations of social interaction, for example, speaking in public or making a phone call, being invited on a date or making an acquaintance. And some are afraid of everything related to social activity. This leads to the fact that the social phobia not only withdraws into itself, but also self-isolates at home.

How and why does social phobia arise, the reasons for a person’s transformation into a modern social ascetic?

As a rule, the causes of social phobia come from childhood. In 50% of social phobias, the symptoms of this disorder appeared before the age of 11, and in 80% - before the age of 20. Childhood and adolescence are characterized by an immature psyche that is in the formative stage. Therefore, any strong stress or experienced feeling of shame can leave its mark for the rest of your life. Psychotraumatic circumstances can subsequently be forced out of memory, having managed to have a negative impact on the child’s psyche. Being in a dormant state, repressed emotions awaken again when a similar situation arises. At the same time, at first, “from old memory,” the vegetative system is activated with pronounced sweating, hyperemia of the skin, trembling of the hands and the whole body, nausea, tachycardia and a feeling of lack of air. The resulting affect of acute shame literally puts the person into a stupor, preventing him from breathing and moving. A person, realizing the causelessness of such a state, cannot resist it and practically loses control over himself. This perverted instinct of self-preservation is used by the “caring” subconscious in order to save the psyche from new shocks. Such an inadequate and unpleasant reaction of the body leads to the fact that a person begins to avoid such situations, and in the worst case, any contact with society. Negative personal attitudes such as “I don’t mean anything”, “no matter what I do, I will always be criticized”, etc. are essential in the emergence of social phobia. Typically, such stereotypes are the result of improper upbringing in the family with a constant unfavorable assessment of not only the child’s behavior, but also the personality of the child, as well as negative personal experiences. As for the neurophysiological basis of social phobias, their connection has been established with a disturbance in the exchange of neurotransmitters, their imbalance and/or deficiency. Hyperexcitability of certain areas of the brain (GM) can also be considered as a physiological cause of social phobia. Such departments are the amygdala, which is responsible for the emotions of fear, as well as the lumbar cortex of the brain, which provides cognitive functions, in particular the response to criticism or reward. Clinical studies have found that social phobia occurs 2-3 times more often in people whose close relatives also suffered from this disorder than in those who did not have cases of social phobia in the family. Observations of twins adopted by different families also confirmed the role of genetics in the development of phobic disorder. So, if one of them exhibited social phobia, then the probability of its occurrence in the second was 30-50% higher than the population average. In addition, the relationship between social anxiety and Parkinson’s disease and schizophrenia, which also have a hereditary factor among the main causes, has been clinically established. Thus, it can be argued that the main factors in the development of social phobia are hereditary predisposition, family and social environment.

Six steps to overcome social phobia

How to overcome social phobia? To overcome social phobia on your own, use a simple 6-step program (social phobia, way to overcome).

Relaxation

Anxiety is the result of self-hypnosis. By playing out negative scenarios of an upcoming event, you instill in yourself an attitude of anxiety and anticipation of danger directly during the event. Train yourself to think about the upcoming event at a time when you are in a relaxed state. Take a warm bath, light aromatic candles, achieve a calm and confident state. In this state, think about the upcoming event. Practice this as often as possible, soon a stable connection will be formed in your mind between a relaxed state, self-confidence and an exciting event.

Search for social phobic situations

The more you avoid something, the more dangerous it seems to your psyche. Therefore, stop avoiding frightening situations, consciously look for them, immerse yourself in them, imagine what worries you. Don't forget to relax beforehand.

Look around

A social phobe is obsessed with himself and self-control. Learn to notice what is happening around you and concentrate on the little things. For example, consider the color of the walls, people's clothes, paintings that hang on the walls

If you feel that you are blushing or sweating, then try to switch your attention. The more you think, “I need to calm down,” the more worried you become.

Ask questions

Learn to be interested in people, to switch attention from your inner world to the inner world of other people. Ask them questions that require a detailed answer.

Listen carefully to the interlocutor, clarify something, ask additional questions, express your interest in the interlocutor.

Stop beating yourself up

Imagination is the enemy of a social phobe. The man is intimidating himself. For some reason he is sure that he can read people's thoughts. Every time you catch yourself trying to guess other people’s thoughts, say: “I actually don’t know what this person is thinking about me right now, or what people are thinking about me.”

Keep a positive attitude

Think about what thoughts you usually have when going into an exciting meeting. If you're thinking, "I hope I don't feel like I always do," that's completely wrong. But if you say “I feel great, I’m confident in myself,” this will create a positive attitude. Remember a situation in which you felt confident, remember this state, transfer it to the situation that is scary now.

Be yourself

The problem with a social phobe is that he does not accept himself, does not allow himself to be himself. Allow yourself to be imperfect, not like others, not what someone supposedly wants you to be. Play the role of a jester, allow yourself to be ridiculous and funny. This will give you confidence and allow you to relax. Practice in front of the mirror every day, then ask your friends to become your spectators.

Do terrible thoughts come true?

The nature of intrusive thoughts is contradictory and curious. Treatment of sore throat or acne will be noticeable, it will be felt. Pimples will not appear because a person is afraid of them, sometimes in a panic. It's more difficult with thoughts. These “ghosts” appear in the head, often regardless of anxiety and desire. The more resistance there is to a negative and obsessive thought, the more sticky it becomes and the more rude it is to a person.

Example

: If you think about a mandarin, a person sort of puts it in his head. He sees it, he can even taste it - this is how the human brain works. The individual believes himself.

Thus, thoughts influence emotions. It’s nice for a person to remember something positive and replay the event in his mind from time to time. But it happens that a “breakdown” occurs in the head and terrible scenes are born there. The individual kills himself, harms others, strangles and beats in panic, establishes a taboo for himself on pictures of this kind. “Normally, this shouldn’t happen,” he is sure of this. This feeds the phobia. The more resistance there is, the stronger the mental negativity creeps into his head.

When you look at it objectively, many pictures appear in your mind. They can become reality in the paintings of artists. OCD has nothing to do with mental illness, as VSD people are convinced. The fear of harming yourself is still just fear.

A person’s fear of losing his sanity and understanding of the absurdity of certain things do not give grounds to call him insane. To summarize, we can say that self-harm can be corrected.

Causes

Most often, the first signs and symptoms of social phobia appear in a person quite early - between the ages of 11 and 13. After 20 years, this phobia practically does not arise on its own, but becomes a consequence of prolonged depression. Mostly women suffer from social phobia.

The following key factors influencing the development of the disease are identified:

heredity;
characteristics of temperament and nervous system;
social environment.

Psychologists have noticed that the risk of developing a social disorder increases if a relative in the family already suffers from this phobia. It is likely that social phobia is inherited. Or children copy the social anxiety of their parents by observing their behavior.

Interestingly, about 15% of people are born with a temperament characterized by behavioral inhibition. This is a feature of the functioning of the nervous system, in which a person is afraid of the outside world and is more immersed in himself. It is already observed in newborns. This feature increases the risk of developing social phobia.

Most often, social phobia develops against the background of self-doubt, which is characteristic of adolescents. It is during the period from 11 to 13 years that active interaction with society begins. Here are the most common causes of social disorder in adolescents.

Excessive criticism or, conversely, guardianship from parents.
The requirements for the child are too strict and difficult to meet.
Constant conflicts in the family and school.
Lack of necessary social approval.
Rejection from peers, ridicule and bullying at school.
Unsuccessful past experiences of interacting with people, for example, with the opposite sex.

In adults, social phobia can develop as a result of:

an inappropriate social environment that does not provide the necessary moral support;
prolonged depression;
experienced a stressful situation of strong intensity, for example, a disaster, a terrorist attack, etc.

This complex irrational fear

Performing certain social actions, or actions accompanied by attention from strangers (fear of the gaze of passers-by, inability to do anything while being observed from the outside, for example, making work calls in the presence of colleagues), is not as simple as it seems at first glance. Social phobes are affected by uncontrolled fear, it fetters the will and affects various aspects of a person’s life

Having met an acquaintance who does not seem eager to communicate, does not make eye contact and is only able to mutter something under his breath, many are ready to attribute such behavior to a bad character, a bad mood or a general dislike of humanity. After all, it’s not so difficult to pull yourself together and maintain a basic conversation. But it seems so to people who are not familiar with such a problem from their own experience.

No one has any questions about whether schizophrenia can be considered a real disease; it is not customary to ask about this, much less try to impose your opinion on how to deal with it. But when it comes to social phobia, there will definitely be those who will convince you to throw the nonsense out of your head, skeptically present “arguments” that supposedly confirm that social phobia is a whim, and persuade you to pull yourself together.

A person with social phobia may well realize that all his fears are exaggerated or groundless, and yet this does not make overcoming them any easier. Some people with social phobia are afraid of many simple social situations, while others are afraid of only a few, such as those involving a lot of publicity.

Social phobia is sometimes called the disease of missed opportunities because all those who suffer from it constantly blame themselves for indecision, inexplicable stupor when it is important to take certain actions, turning down great chances simply because they might lead to contact with many strangers, and The stress from this is too much

What is social phobia and how common is it?

Social phobia is one of the most common human phobias (fears). It is found in different categories of the population, in different age groups and actually accompanies humanity from the moment of its emergence and the formation of man as a social being. Hippocrates also described a person with social phobia as not liking light, hiding his eyes under a pulled-down headdress so as not to see or be seen, and also avoiding company for fear of offense, ridicule, or his own inappropriate actions. As Hippocrates argued, such a person feels “that everyone is looking at him.” The term social phobia is literally translated as fear of the general (from Latin Socius and Greek Φόβος). It is an anxiety disorder characterized by exaggerated and irrational fear and anxiety in certain social circumstances. These can be either single episodes or systematic manifestations. The range of situations that provoke fear and anxiety can cover almost any action performed under the supervision of other people. As a result, a person tries to avoid social contacts as much as possible and in severe cases practically becomes a recluse. Communication with real people replaces creativity or the computer. Social phobia is often found among writers, artists, and programmers. Many gambling addicts also suffer from social anxiety.

By the way, there is an opinion among the population that social phobia and sociopathy are the same thing. In fact, these are completely different concepts. Sociopathy is also a mental disorder, but it is manifested by antisocial thoughts and actions. If a social phobe is simply afraid of the opinions of others and is too sensitive about what they think of him, then a sociopath thinks and acts aggressively towards others and can be dangerous to them. A sociophobe rather underestimates himself, while a sociopath overestimates his role, despising and ignoring the opinions of others. In addition, social phobia is absolutely not dangerous for the environment, but significantly worsens the quality of life of the person himself, causing a state of distress and significantly narrowing his ability to achieve successful results in various fields of activity. The prevalence of social phobia has been little studied statistically; figures from different sources vary significantly. Some authors, for example, from the USA, believe that it occurs in every eighth person, others talk about 1-2%, while others claim that it is almost impossible to reliably determine the frequency of occurrence of social phobia. The latter is explained by the fact that only a few social phobics seek professional help. They, as always, are afraid that their complaints will be misjudged, they are afraid of not being taken seriously, and they cannot trust a stranger. Locked in the cocoon of their social isolation, they feel much more comfortable, but the beautiful butterfly is not destined to fly out of it. A person deprives himself of the opportunity to develop professionally and creatively, achieve career heights, adapt socially and find his true place in life. In addition, a social phobe voluntarily gives up many of the joys of life - parties, trips to resorts and travel, going to a restaurant, various entertainment events. Inconveniences arise even when solving ordinary everyday problems and when looking for work, because... The main criterion when choosing vacancies is minimal contact with people, which significantly limits his opportunities.

Why agoraphobia is difficult to treat with medication

Unfortunately, there are no pills that can cure a person of a phobia. For neurotic and phobic disorders, patients are often prescribed tranquilizers, antipsychotics, and sedatives. But all such drugs only suppress the symptoms and do not eliminate the causes. They only work as long as you take them. That's why they experience withdrawal symptoms. After completing the course, agoraphobia often returns.

This does not mean at all that medications are useless and should not be taken. In severe conditions, when a person experiences panic and cannot bring himself to leave the house, medications are necessary.

They will help support the body during crises and ease the course of the phobia. But any phobic, anxiety, panic disorder is of a psychosomatic nature and is treated, first of all, with psychotherapy. Only conscious work on your psyche brings truly effective and lasting results, eliminating agoraphobia.

The most important thing is to understand and believe that you can get rid of this problem. And the sooner you start taking action, the better. Do not refuse medications if they have been prescribed to you and you yourself feel the need for them. But don’t rely too much on pills.

On a note!

All fears have a rational basis. There's a reason we're afraid of heights, airplanes, and snakes. Fearlessness can end sadly in a fall from a balcony or a poisonous bite, so you shouldn't strive to feel like an invulnerable superhero. But when fear becomes irrational and manifests itself in the absence of real threats, it is already a phobia. A person suffering from a phobia needs psychological help.

Treatment of neurosis

Those suffering from this mental disorder often delay visiting a specialist. The reason is shyness of one’s thoughts not only in front of the doctor, but also in front of friends and relatives. The result is a chronic form, which is very difficult to get rid of. Therefore, the first stage should be to contact a specialized specialist. Medications coupled with psychotherapy provide lasting positive results.

In addition, it is important:

Recognize that this pathology is an illness. It requires therapy, like any other disease. This must be realized - this is the key to successful treatment.
Find out the root cause. Most likely, this is a situation that resulted in the disease. It is impossible to determine it on your own; psychotherapy will help.
Reduce anxiety by provoking it. Meeting a negative image will dull the negative component of anxiety.
Don't be afraid to express your thoughts in writing. It is necessary to evaluate the real fear from the fear of your imagination. Over time, it will become clear that there is nothing to worry about.
Visualize fear, giving it human characteristics and challenge it. Having learned the reason from him, you should, as it were, distance yourself from the phantom. It happens that after this the cause of the nervous disorder becomes clear, most often it is strong love, care and guardianship.

Patients suffering from the disorder experience terrible thoughts, but in reality they are kind and decent in reality. Because of this, they are very worried about their obsessions. We must not forget about this.

So. Neurosis can be treated successfully, and timely treatment will increase the favorable outcome of therapy. The Human Design System will help to significantly simplify this task. After all, few people know that certain information centers are responsible for our every action. They determine the behavior, character, needs and personality of a person. For example, the Ajna Center is responsible for analyzing information. If there are malfunctions in it, then the person incorrectly analyzes the information coming from brain impulses. A detailed examination of the Ajna Center will answer why there is fear of harming others? To find out which of the nine centers you have identified and which you have not, we recommend calculating the rave map. You can do this on our website completely free of charge. And if you want a full transcript, order it in PDF format.

Why is social phobia dangerous?

A constant state of fear, anxiety and inferiority can lead to panic attacks, in which a person loses self-control. He may be afraid to leave the house, get into a crowded transport, the fear of society develops into a fear of closed (claustrophobia) or open (agarophobia) space.

It is necessary to establish an accurate diagnosis as soon as possible in order to undergo proper treatment in time, otherwise, running away from problems, a social phobe may resort to using alcohol or drugs. In this case, a person’s inability to adapt to reality is further aggravated and work activity decreases.

The worst result can be chronic depression and suicide. This outcome cannot be avoided without psychiatrists and specialized clinics.

how to get rid of mental pain

Obsessive neurosis

The disease is a mental disorder that manifests itself in the form of obsessive thoughts and, possibly, actions. The patient wants to get rid of such obsessions by resorting to compulsions. Thoughts of this kind awaken fear with an admixture of anxiety due to their negativity. The patient tries without success to get rid of the negative and thereby strengthens his position, closing the condition into a ring. The disease causes great discomfort to patients. Mental pathology not detected in time can lead to other mental disorders. Patients with this neurosis often have a high intellectual level because they have a complex thought pattern.

Forms of persistent neurosis:

Fear of causing discomfort to others or loved ones. If there is access to a knife, the patient may think that if he takes it, he can cause injury with it. In this case, it will exclude contact with the knife. This example is one of many similar ones. Common ones are killing your child, killing an animal in the house, running a car over a person, attacking a person from a height.
Fear of hurting yourself and others. A person is frightened by his own thoughts of injuring himself by cutting himself, falling out of a balcony, drowning, losing a limb.
Obsessions about sex. Here thoughts of abuse and violence against oneself prevail. This causes great discomfort and is very disturbing and frightening to the patient.
Fear of pollution. The classic manifestation is frequent hand washing. A person does this regularly and often.
Obsessions on the topic of religion. Haunting images of disgusting scenes involving saints and the Almighty himself. Many are afraid to go to church and there are many other negative things on this topic.
The desire for perfectionism. The patient strives to bring everything to the right decision according to his beliefs.
Superstition. The patient suffers, performing useless rituals in the hope of getting rid of anxiety. But this only increases the frustration, forcing him to walk in circles of his phobia.